


The Art of Life

by Kaogasm



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Awesome Pepper Potts, Dogs, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Jotunn Loki (Marvel), Loki (Marvel) Feels, Loki (Marvel) Has Issues, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Loki loves Morgan, Medical Conditions, Nurses, Pets
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-26
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-02 06:47:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 61
Words: 197,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23846938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaogasm/pseuds/Kaogasm
Summary: Loki finds himself without his magic and his Asgardian form. A nurse and her dog help him get over it.Post-Endgame, alternate ending for Infinity War Loki.I haven't thought of any warnings or tags that would apply so far. Once I see a need for it, I'll add warnings accordingly. Tags will be updated as I go.
Relationships: Loki (Marvel)/Original Female Character(s), Loki/OFC
Comments: 464
Kudos: 398





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Trying my hand at writing something that is not a school paper. Excuse the mistakes if you see any.  
> I am not that familiar with the Marvel comics universe and my memory sucks when it comes to the Marvel cinematic universe. Some things concerning characters might be canon-accurate, some might be made up just to serve the story purposes.

His lungs burned. He could breathe, but it burned. He was holding his breath, only he wasn’t holding his breath. Was he not breathing? But how could he feel the burning sensation if he wasn’t? He felt his chest expanding, but he wasn’t inhaling. Was he supposed to? He was floating. But it didn’t feel like he was underwater. It was dry. He was dry. But it felt dense around him, almost as if in a vacuum. His neck hurt. Why did his neck hurt? Silent. Too silent. Shouldn’t he feel his blood pulsing through his arteries when it was this silent? His body felt weird. Like it was filling itself up rapidly with water. Well, maybe he was drowning? But how? Wasn’t he on the refugee vessel not that long ago, heading to Midgard with his brother and the remaining Asgardians after Asgard was destroyed? Something else caught his unconscious attention.. his mouth was burning. As if his saliva suddenly started boiling for no apparent reason. His skin felt cold. Though due to his Jotun genes, it felt like a cool breeze brushing against his skin in mid-autumn. Pleasant, but not cold. He never experienced cold like his brother did.

His brother.. Thor.. he was being tortured.. he summoned the tesseract to stop Thor’s torture.. Thanos.. a tight grip around his neck.. he couldn’t breathe.. he was suffocating.. a cracking noise.. everything went dark..

Loki opened his eyes in a panic. He couldn’t move. His head hanging backwards at a weird angle that should have been either impossible or at least extremely uncomfortable. But he felt nothing. Why couldn’t he feel the discomfort? Why was he floating in space among debris? Why was his body feeling more and more uncomfortable? His skin was stretching and he could definitely feel that. Why couldn’t he feel the discomfort in his neck?

Realizing where he was, Loki tried to exhale. Slowly. He wasn’t sure if it was working because he couldn’t feel anything aside from the burning sensation in his lungs. There was only one thing he could do right now that would buy him some time to figure out what to do. He loathed it, but he had to try. Closing his eyes, and trying his best not to inhale just yet, he calmed his mind and let his Jotun self take over the Asgardian one. Slowly, his skin changed color and within seconds he was blue. He slowly opened his eyes and tried to move an arm. Feeling the movement he let out a careful sigh and slowly brought his hand to his neck. It was broken, but how he could be still alive with such a fracture, he had no idea. Maybe for once, the Norns were siding with him? He doubted it. He was simply lucky. He felt the skin around his neck. He could feel the Jotun markings running at the front and sides. So his transformation was complete. Any other time he would feel it instantly, but right now his senses were a jumbled mess and he didn’t really know what’s right or wrong. Although, the position his neck was in.. that was definitely wrong. Bringing his other hand to his neck, Loki concentrated on breathing slowly while letting his magic flow through his fingertips. He has never performed magic while in Jotun form. Hell, he has never spent a second in his Jotun form, aside from that one cursed day he was pissed at Odin for lying to him his whole life.

He felt his neck healing, his head moving slowly forward until it was positioned how it should be. First step done. Now.. well, he was still floating aimlessly among the remnants of the refugee vessel. In space. He wasn’t going to survive in his Asgardian form, and he’s not going to survive in his Jotun form either. It only buys him a bit longer time due to.. whatever the Jotun genes were made from. Loki couldn’t remember it anymore. It had been over a thousand years since he learnt about Jotun anatomy. Odin said it was important to know your enemy inside and out. Apparently he had meant it literally. It wasn’t important anymore. Odin was dead. Jotunheim had been distroyed not so long ago. Asgard as well. His mind drifted to Thor. What happened to him? Where is his brother? He couldn’t survive that long in space. Maybe he could find him among the debris? Looking around, Loki couldn’t see any bodies. Weird. Last he could remember everyone on the refugee vessel had been slaughtered by Thanos and his children. But no remains floating around him. Just parts of the ship. Something wasn’t right.

There was nothing Loki could do at the moment but to either wait for his eventual demise or try to figure out a way to teleport himself to a safe, solid surface. His brain was working in overdrive. It didn’t help that he couldn’t instantly teleport himself because for that he needed a passage, and apparently non existed around him. Oh how he would have loved to have the tesseract right now. But no, he had to give it to Thanos. To save his brother’s life. What did that get him aside from getting them both killed? Was Thor dead though? Loki refused to believe it, but as he looked around, his heart ached. His brother was really gone. Loki was all alone with no one but himself to blame. Why did he let go of Gungnir that godforsaken day? Why did he allow himself to fall into the void, which lead him to be captured to Thanos, which lead to everything that happened afterwards? If he hadn’t let go that day, things would have been different. Asgard would still be there. Odin would have been alive and Hela trapped in the underworld.

_“I assure you brother, the sun will shine on us again”_ He had told his brother just before Thanos broke his neck. His brother was gone. He was all alone floating aimlessly in space. But the sun was approaching. He could see it. Loki felt weak. Apparently his Jotun form didn’t live up to what he had learned about the species in Asgard. This is it. He was going to die now and this time there was no way he could save himself. The sun was getting closer, brighter. Was the sun a female? It looked as if it had a female body but short hair. The rays of sunlight were making it seem like she had long firey hair. How fitting.

Loki smiled and closed his eyes as he felt his body give up the struggle against the vacuuming space. The sun was getting closer. It was warm. It did shine on him. Too bad Thor wasn’t there to see it. He will soon be swallowed in the pits of fire and this will all end. Thank the Norns that his body picked this moment to shut down so he wouldn’t suffer.

“Hang on, I’ll be there in a few minutes. There’s a life form ahead of me. No, it’s not dead. It’s an alien and you know how some species can survive the atmosphere.” Captain Marvel rolled her eyes at the comments she was getting through her comms. Someone or something was floating in space, among debris and was alive. That always meant help was needed. She flew towards it and saw it to be a blue humanoid creature. In any other setting she could have thought that was a pretty sight, but right now she was on a mission. The creature had lost consciousness by the time she approached it, so she grabbed him by the waist and pulled him close to her. “I’m coming in five. Need to make a quick stop first. This one’s alive, though unconscious.” Fury will have a fit for bringing yet another alien to Earth, right in the middle of a battle against Thanos. She enjoyed giving him some harmless hard time. With that in mind and a small smirk appearing at the corner of her lips, she held the alien closer to her side and took off towards Earth.

-*-*-*-*-*-

It’s been a week since they defeated Thanos and his army. The Avengers and their new friends gathered at the Stark Tower for a small memorial lunch Pepper had insisted on organizing. No one expected anything from her. She had just lost her husband and father of their child, but she knew that this is what Tony would have wanted. On the lunch menu was Tony’s favorite: cheeseburgers. She had also ordered shwarma, knowing he would get a kick out of the sentiment behind it. He had just saved Manhattan from an unwanted nuclear missile and all he could think of was that he wanted to try shwarma.

Pepper smiled to herself as she moved her fork across her shwarma plate. She missed him, but she was also very proud of him. She looked at her guests who were scattered across the room. Some sitting at the dining table, some standing in small groups with their food in hand, some huddled together at the couch. The atmosphere was peaceful. Everyone was friendly towards the other. She knew Tony would approve.

Small steps approached her and she turned to look at Wanda. Both smiled at each other as Wanda took a seat next to her. “How are you holding up?” The Scarlet Witch asked. She had also recently suffered a loss. She wasn’t married to Vision, nor did her relationship last as long as the one between Tony and Pepper. But the magnitude of loss was the same. They had both lost their men.

“I’ll be fine eventually.” Pepper replied. “How about you?” Vision had died five years ago, but Wanda had been turned to dust after the snap. For her Vision had also died a week ago.

“I’ll also be fine eventually.” Wanda smiled. “This was lovely, Pepper. I didn’t know I needed it. Thank you for organizing it.”

Pepper nodded, smiling softly. As Wanda took her leave, Pepper scanned the room again. Her food forgotten for the time being, she observed the people whom Tony considered friends. Even Steve, though they had a short falling out, Tony never ceased to secretly consider him a friend. He had a bigger heart than people gave him credit for. Pepper knew that from the get go.

“Hey you,” Pepper turned to the source of the voice. Carol Danvers was there too. Pepper was grateful for her arrival during the battle. Even more grateful that she could take a break from her busy schedule to join their lunch. “Hey,” she responded and turned in her seat to face Carol, who took a seat next to her.

“I’m about to go an check on our guest.” Carol whispered. The blue creature she brought with her was being treated in the medical facility Tony had stationed in the building. After the battle of New York, he decided that they needed a whole floor ‘just in case’, even employed a full medical staff and had several specialists on call duty ‘just in case’ something complicated happened and they needed someone. The creature has been in a coma ever since. Carol hadn’t seen similar species before, though the markings on his body did remind her of the frost giants. Only this one was not a giant, so she dismissed the thought. She was planning on asking Thor, but something told her she should wait with telling him and the others about the alien. They had just finished fighting a whole army of them, lost friends and family to them, so emotions were still running high. Fury had thrown a fit when she dropped the alien on his couch, and only because he had no full access to any SHIELD operated facilities, he suggested the Stark Tower. It was more secure than a SHIELD facility anyway. Now that he wasn’t the director of SHIELD, he could finally admit it. He was the one who suggested keeping this hidden for the time being and Carol agreed without giving it a second thought.

Pepper nodded. “FRIDAY is keeping an eye on him. His door is locked to outsiders and he’s still out of it anyway.”

“Still, I feel like I should check in on him. I’ll see you before I leave for some Kree business.” With that said, Carol went to see the blue creature she brought with her from space.

FRIDAY unlocked doors for her as she walked through the corridors of the medical facility. Why they called it that instead of simply med bay was beyond her. A facility is bigger. This was one floor of a makeshift clinic at most. Equipped with most advanced medical tech, of course, but it was still a makeshift clinic. Shrugging to herself, she approached the room the alien was being kept in. Slowly opening the door, she walked in and closed it behind her. She smiled at the nurse who was changing the IV bag and attaching a new one. The nurse smiled back and hurried to finish her work. “Don’t mind me,” Carol said in a whisper. “I just wanted to see how he’s doing. Don’t let me disturb you.”

The nurse relaxed a bit and continued her work at a normal pace. Rushing her was never good. You don’t rush a nurse unless she needs to rush. “He’s still the same. Vitals are stable, though we don’t know what stable is for him since we don’t know _what_ he is.” She sighed and turned to look at him. “Comas are the worst.” She mumbled, more to herself, but as soon as the words escaped her mouth, she realized she shouldn’t have said it out loud. Apparently Carol heard her because now she was being stared at by an almost freaked out Captain Marvel. “Uh.. sorry, I shouldn’t have said that out loud.”

“You think?” Carol had minimal medical knowledge, maybe enough to administer first aid, but she didn’t like the sound of ‘comas are the worst’ coming from a professional.

“I apologize. I didn’t mean to say it out loud. I’ve had a dear family member in a coma before, and that was a horrible time for the whole family.” She adjusted the thin sheet that was covering their patient and cleared her throat. The past needs to stay where it belongs, in the past. She needs to save face right now before risking getting fired for having a big mouth.

Carol nodded and let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. Being on earth for a whole week was making her sentimental. She didn’t know who the alien was, nor did she know whether he was friendly or not. She’ll simply have to find out once he awakes. “I understand,” she finally said, “it won’t leave this room,” she added and grinned at the nurse, who returned the smile. “I’ll go now. Need to head back home.” She nodded her goodbye to the nurse and left.’’

The nurse finished her work and gathered some items to be taken away. Looking at the alien before she left the room, she sighed. “I sure hope you’re friendly. And I hope you wake up soon.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, leaving kudo's and commenting!

Emily turned off the computer in the doctor’s office and took off her glasses, sitting back in the doctor’s comfortable chair and sighed. She was sporting a slight headache. Her only patient went into a cardiac arrest around noon and while she managed to stabilize him with the help of the doctor and another nurse, it still felt like they were about to lose him. In all the years working as a nurse, she never got used to losing patients. That was the only part of her job that she hated. Sure, she’s had irritating, entitled, annoying and even creepy patients throughout the years, but that came with the job description and she didn’t mind it most of the time. Losing a patient, however, was a totally different matter. It broke her heart every time it happened. Whether it was due to a severe accident, surgery complications or any other reason, it caused her pain and she hated it.

Earlier in the day she was doing her midday check on her only patient at the medical facility of the Stark Tower. After checking his vitals, she proceeded to change the IV bag and as per the doctor’s instructions, checked on which medications the patient was supposed to receive for the day and prepared them on the side table to be used later during the day. She found it useful to prepare the medication beforehand, even some for emergencies, instead of having to look for them just before the moment they were supposed to be injected to the IV bag. The other nurses worked differently, but since she was the main nurse for this patient, she called the shots on how things will be done. Her patient, her rules. Her colleagues had no problem with that.

Everything seemed normal with her patient. Well, as normal as she thought it could be. He was an alien in a coma. So there was no predicting what is considered normal for him. He was breathing with minimal help from the mechanical ventilator. At this rate, in a few days he might be able to breathe completely on his own. She smiled, nodding at her self and hoping that her patient would wake up soon. There was nothing else she could do to help. That is, other than doing her job and reading him a book whenever her schedule allowed it. It was a proven fact that reading or talking to coma patients was helpful. Though mainly when it was done by familiar voices, like friends or family. This patient had no one, so she decided to take over that part and try. She may not have a familiar voice to him, but at least she’s trying. All hell broke loose at that moment when suddenly the heart monitor started beeping loudly, signalling a cardiac arrest. Emily, being the professional that she was, didn’t lose her cool and simply pressed the emergency button for the doctor to get there and kept an eye on the monitor, registering the numbers in her mind. The device would be saving the data to the server anyway, but the doctor would need to hear all as soon as he got there. She moved quickly, jumping onto the bed and kneeling next to her patient and started CPR by giving compressions to his chest. The defibrillator was on the other side of the room. That will have to wait until the doctor got there and she hoped they wouldn’t have to use it.

The doctor had arrived within minutes. Emily kept on CPR while the doctor checked on the patient. He grabbed a syringe and a vial from the side table with the medication that was needed (in all the chaos Emily applauded herself for having that table always ready) and quickly administered the injection. Another nurse came in, the doctor shouting instructions at her while Emily continued CPR. She focused on her patient, leaving her colleagues take over the other tasks. Within less than three minutes the heart monitor started showing stability and Emily could stop and get off the bed.

“Well, that was close.” The doctor sighed and looked at Emily with a smile. “Good thing you caught me right before I had gone to lunch” he chuckled.

“We were lucky.” Emily’s heart was racing at this point, but she always played it cool. Though why did her patient suddenly go into an arrest, she couldn’t figure it out. Everything seemed good until a few minutes ago. She’ll have to check his reports later and try to find out what exactly happened.

The doctor did a final check on the patient, gave Emily and the other nurse some instructions and left the room. Emily stood there, looking at the sleeping figure in front of her. She was beyond thankful that they managed to stabilize him. She decided then that she’ll stay a bit longer in the room, continue reading him the book she started yesterday and at the end of the day she’ll check the saved reports with the doctor. The other nurse patted her shoulder, smiling as she also left the room.

“Don’t scare me like that again, you. You’re not allowed to die on me.” She whispered. Picking up the book off the night stand, she sat down on a chair near the bed and started reading.

-*-*-*-*-*-

After an irritatingly long evening at the doctor’s office, trying to find the exact moment the patient’s heart decided to go into an arrest, Emily decided to call it a day. The doctor had left much earlier, but she wanted to double check on the data. The readings were confusing. The alien’s heart seemed to work differently than a human’s. There was a steady rhythm, though it looked nothing like a how she knew a heartbeat would register. Then she noted the parts where the irregularity that caused the cardiac arrest had started. She hoped this was a one time thing. Maybe his body was reacting to the fresh IV bag she had put up minutes before it happened. She couldn’t be sure and it was too late to wait for the lab results. The doctor would be getting those in the morning anyway and then she’ll get more information.

After changing her scrubs into her regular clothes, Emily made a quick stop at her patient’s room. Just a quick check before she went home. Quietly opening the door, she peeked her head in, looking at the blue sleeping figure and then at the monitor next to him. Things seemed alright. She could finally go home.

Getting into her car, she checked the time and gasped loudly. It was already 9PM and her dog hasn’t gone out for his evening walk yet! She didn’t know how many traffic laws she broke that evening as she sped through the city trying to get to her apartment complex as soon as possible. It didn’t help that she lived on the opposite side of the city, but the neighbourhood was safe and she liked the spacious apartment she lived in with her German Shepherd. She even had a private parking lot! Nothing close to her work that had everything she had now would be affordable, so she usually didn’t mind the long drive. She only hoped that her dog wouldn’t use her carpet as his private bathroom. Hugo was a mature dog, but sometimes he could behave like a puppy.

Reaching her parking space in record time, she practically ran to her apartment and quickly opened the door. “Hugo! Come here, boy!” She called for him and grabbed his leash from the coat hanger next to the door. Hugo came running, barking at her for being late. “I knoooow!” she whined, attaching the leash to his collar. “I’m so sorry! I’ll explain while we walk?” she smiled at him and ruffled his furry head before closing the door and taking him on a walk.

“You will not believe what a day I had today!” she talked to Hugo while he went on with his business around the corner of the street. She told him all about her day. How her patient went into a cardiac arrest and how they managed to stabilize him. She imagined Hugo could understand what she was telling him. He whined and barked at the appropriate moments, as if he was having a full on conversation with her. “So that’s why I couldn’t come home sooner, Hugo.” She stopped and knelt before him, scratching behind his ears. Hugo wagged his tale happily and started licking her face. “I love you too, buddy.” She laughed and hugged him. “If you’re done for tonight, I’d like to go back home. I’m exhausted and have to be at work early in the morning.” With a single bark, Hugo turned around and they started walking back to the apartment.

After getting back home and changing into her comfortable home clothes, Emily prepared a light dinner. While that was cooking, she grabbed Hugo’s medical box and sat on the floor, calling him to her. Hugo knew what that meant. His scar had been infected and Emily has been applying an antibiotic cream to help with the inflammation. Letting out a little growl of protest, he went to Emily and sat in front of her. Hugo was a veteran dog who after being injured in Iraq, lost his left eye and had to be brought back to the States to retire. He was soon put up for adoption because he was never comfortable with any of the veterans who took him home. Emily saw the ad on social media by pure chance and decided to give it a try. She had always wanted a German Shepherd and Hugo captured her heart first through the photos online and then when she met him in person for the first time. Something between them clicked. She felt safe having him around, and he felt happy being around her. They went through a lot together. She having depressive episodes and Hugo going through PTSD. They helped each other and they grew to be partners, friends and family to each other. Emily couldn’t imagine her life without Hugo anymore.

After taking care of Hugo’s scar, the dog grumpily moved away to go and lay down on his favorite armchair. Emily put the box away and went to the kitchen to wash her hands and finish preparing her dinner. She was planning on watching a movie tonight after work, but since she was home late the movie would have to wait for another time. Tonight was reserved for dinner and sleep. Hoping tomorrow would go uneventful.

-*-*-*-*-*-

The next morning Emily woke up with the headache from the day before still there. She felt exhausted, but she managed to get up in time to take Hugo on his morning walk before she could get ready to go to work. After her morning shower, she put on some sweatpants and a t-shirt, put up her hair in a bun and grabbed her sneakers. She would change into her work clothes after the walk because she didn’t want to get them dirty in case Hugo suddenly decided it was play time early in the morning. 

It was still dark outside, with only a few birds starting to chirp merrily. Hugo was walking calmly at her side. If it weren’t for the neighbourhood rule of having dogs always on a leash, she wouldn’t have had to use it at all. Hugo was well trained and quite adapted at being around humans and other dogs alike. He wouldn’t run after cats like some other dogs did. She was grateful for that. If he ever decided to do that he would probably have her flying due to her slender figure and his strength.

She was mentally preparing for her day at work when her phone buzzed a few times. She always set it on silent during the morning walks, not wanting the loud ringtone disturbing anyone on the street that early in the day. Looking at the screen, the call was from a private number. Which to her meant it was from work.

“Emily speaking.” She answered the call. She stopped in her tracks as she listened to her colleague on the other side. “He’s what?! Oh my god I need to be there! No I know my shift only starts in two hours, Jess.. I don’t care! I’m coming right away!” She turned off the phone and scratched behind Hugo’s ear as she noticed him staring at her with a concerned eye. “He’s waking up, Hugo! And you’re coming to work today!” She gave her dog a wide grin and practically ran towards her car at the parking lot. She didn’t even have the patience to go home and change first. Her patient was finally waking up, and she was determined to be there when he finally did.


	3. Chapter 3

Emily quickly rushed through the corridors of the Stark Tower, Hugo following closely. She was thankful she didn’t have to use his leash whenever she brought him along. Aside from being a veteran dog, Hugo was a certified service dog, which allowed him to be present inside any medical facility Emily was at, be it for work or visiting. Her first stop was the changing room, grabbing her white coat since she didn’t want to waste any moment changing into scrubs first. She can do that later. Kicking her shoes off she quickly slipped into her work shoes and rushed towards the IC unit where her patient was being kept.

She felt her heart beating faster than usual, excitement building up within her. Her patient was pulling through and that always excited her. “Hugo, you’ll have to stay here for now.” She gave him a gentle pat on the head. Smiling as the dog lay down near the door leading into the room, she gently pushed it open and walked in. Jess, the other nurse who was on night duty and had called Emily earlier, was tidying up some cables after having removed the breathing equipment. She smiled brightly as Emily stepped into the room.

“Dude, you totally should consider going into med school. The look suits you.” She grinned.

“Thanks,” Emily chuckled lightly. Jess always told her that whenever she put on the white robe. “Maybe one day.” It was always her dream to become a doctor, but she felt her calling lay elsewhere, which is why she had chosen to go to nursing school instead.

“So..” Jess continued, “a couple of hours earlier he started stirring. The alarm went off and when we came in, he was basically awake, having an anxiety attack. So we gave him some mild sedatives.” Jess sighed. “Doctor Frank was on call tonight, so he was there. Burnt his hands trying to hold him still so I could give him a sedative. Strapped his arm to his body after to keep the IV in, in case he wakes up again and tries to pull it off.”

“What?!” Emily was surprised at that. She had no problems touching the alien’s skin. She has changed his clothes and bed sheets several times in the past weeks since he was brought here. It didn’t burn her skin. Sure, he was cool to the touch, but that was about it. “Is doctor Frank okay?” When Jess nodded, she sighed in relief. “We’ll get some answers once he wakes up, I guess.”

Looking at the blue figure sleeping before her, she walked to the tablet placed at the end of the bed. She scrolled through the information from the night before, nodding to herself at the subtle changes in the numbers. Everything looked good, compared to the data from the days before. And this time there was a big red warning banner at the top of the screen saying “NO DIRECT SKIN CONTACT! BURN HAZARD!” She placed the tablet back where it was and pulled a chair close to the bed. Her shift wouldn’t start for another hour, so she was going to sit with him for a bit. 

As Jess was leaving, Emily turned to her, “Oh Jess, Hugo is sitting at the door.” Jess grinned, she loved Hugo. “We were on his morning walk when you called, so I brought him with me.”

“Awesome! I’ll get him some food and water before I head home later.” Too bad she had the night shift, she would have loved to take Hugo out for a walk during lunch break. Maybe next time. “I’ll see you tomorrow afternoon, then!” She waved at Emily and walked out.

Emily chuckled upon hearing Jess happily fussing over Hugo in the corridor. Good thing he wasn’t an active service dog anymore. It would have otherwise been too difficult for Jess to keep her hands off of him while he was around, and whenever he was around it usually meant he was there to help someone. Emily liked to use her dog’s training to help patients whenever she could. Not that her patients ever needed a service dog, since they were mainly the Avengers and the most Hugo could do for them is just be there for emotional support. Her attention then turned to her alien patient, who looked very peaceful without the breathing mask over his face. His body markings fascinated her. It ran all over his body and even his face. She noticed that his skin condition was getting better. Floating in space with no protection must be quite the traumatic experience, no wonder he had woken up with a panic. Without thinking, she placed her hand over his, lightly holding his fingers while she ran her thumb over the back of his hand. His skin felt soft to the touch, markings being the only ridges that obstructed the smooth surface.

She sat there holding his hand for what seemed like hours, only it was less than twenty minutes. Suddenly the fingers she was holding twitched. At first Emily thought her hand was getting tired of the position, so she massaged the fingers lightly and ran her thumb over his knuckles. Another twitch. The fingers moved slightly and she felt him grasp her fingers tightly. Emily stood up, not letting go of him, an expecting smile appearing on her face. Though it soon disappeared upon noticing how his breathing was quickening, his heart rate rising and he started shaking. With a quick motion she brought her other hand to his shoulder, running circles over the skin with her thumb. “It’s okay, you’re safe. It’s okay.” She whispered in a soothing manner. There was nothing else to do for now, just trying to calm him enough to open his eyes and not go into another anxiety attack or worse, another cardiac arrest.

She continued whispering calmly at him, like you would a scared child. She kept her hand on his shoulder, running her thumb in circles. That went on for a few minutes until she noticed on the monitor his heart rate slowing down to a normal rate, and his breathing becoming a bit calmer than before. His body continued shaking though. It could have been the shock of waking up again, she couldn’t tell right now because her focus was on calming him down.

She heard a small click coming from the door and turned her head to see Hugo carefully walk in. “You sensed it?” she smiled at him as he let out a small whimper. “Come.” She nodded with her head towards the bed and Hugo walked in further, his steps more confident now. He was in full work mode. “Stay.” Emily said as he reached her and the dog sat on his back legs next to her, ears pointing up in attention. He was there and his human was okay. He looked at her and then to the other person lying in bed. He knew what he needed to do. He only waited for his human to signal him to do so.

Loki felt cold. He felt trapped in what seemed to be a never-ending loop of falling into the abyss. Then he was floating in space. Then falling again. Anxiety was threating to hit him again. He couldn’t breathe and his heart was racing. His body started shaking from the cold and there was nothing he could do. He tried calling his seiðr for the second time today and failed. He couldn’t feel it anymore. The first time he tried and failed to feel it, his mind and body reacted violently in response. He never enjoyed panic attacks in the past. The only difference now was that in the past he had his seiðr to aid him in calming himself long enough to cast a healing and protective spell. This time it failed and he didn’t know why. There were people around him the first time. Shouting at each other in frenzy and then one of them grabbed his shoulders, which resulted in the person hissing in pain. They should have known better than to try and touch a Jotunn. But this time it was different. There was this calm, familiar voice talking to him instead. A hand softly touching his shoulder and another holding his own. That seemed to calm his mind long enough for him to start breathing slowly. Things were getting into focus now. He was waking. The never-ending loop seemed to be ending for the time being. He was somewhere warm, but he was still shaking. Suddenly he felt how his fingers wrapped tightly around the smaller ones holding his hand and he jerked up as he suddenly opened his eyes.

Emily jumped at the sudden movement, which caused Hugo to stand on all fours. The alien was looking at her with scared red eyes. She blinked a couple of times, quickly composing herself and smiling brightly. She knew she was safe with Hugo next to her, and since the dog only whimpered in concern instead of growling, she knew she was in no immediate danger. “Good morning,” she whispered, removing her hand from the shoulder but keeping the other where it was, holding the alien’s hand. Upon not getting any response, she quickly added, “You’re safe.”

Loki let out a sigh of relief he didn’t know he was holding. He looked down at his torso, bandages wrapped around it. He wanted to move his free hand to lift the sheet that was covering his legs, only to gasp in surprise that he couldn’t. Looking at it he realised it was actually strapped to his torso in addition to the bandages wrapped around him. It didn’t feel like his arm was broken and he didn’t remember it being broken when he healed his neck earlier.. But when was earlier? How long has he been here? And.. where is ‘here’ exactly?

Noticing his enquiring gaze, Emily continued absentmindedly rubbing circles on the back of his hand with her thumb. He had a grip of steel around her knuckles, if he didn’t let go soon she would probably lose blood circulation in her fingers. “You were hurt pretty bad when you first got here.”

His gaze turned to his other hand, apparently holding on tight to the woman’s smaller one, who simply and softly held his in return and kept moving her thumb in circles over his skin. He also happened to be blue. In a moment of panic, he jerked his hand way and pulled himself further away from her on the bed, hissing in pain at the sudden movement. Emily quickly moved closer trying to calm him and prevent him from falling off the other side of the bed. “I won’t hurt you!” she quickly said. “You’re safe here, I promise!”

“How..” his throat felt dry, his voice coarse from not having used it for a while. He tried clearing his throat and ended up coughing. Emily moved to the small sink at one side of the room, grabbing a paper cup from the cupboard and filling it with tap water. “Here,” she carefully tried handing him the cup, at which he only pulled himself further away and stared at it. “It’s only water, I promise.” She added with a soft smile. When he didn’t take it from her, she brought the cup to her lips and took a sip, making sure she looked him in the eyes the whole time. Eye contact was important in such situations. Something about confidence and such, it wasn’t important for now. She then reached for his hand and slowly wrapped his fingers around it. “It’s only water, I promise.” She repeated.

Seeing that the liquid had no negative effects on her, Loki relaxed a bit and let out a deep breath he, yet again, didn’t know he was holding. The fact she wasn’t repelled by his looks and she could actually touch him without a massive frostbite were momentarily forgotten. He brought the cup to his lips, first taking a sniff and checking for any foul smells. Upon not smelling any, he dipped the tip of his tongue into the liquid. It really was water. Relaxing his shoulders, he drank the content of the small cup so quickly before Emily could warn him to go slow and ended up coughing.

“Shit, I should have warned you to go slow.” She said and rushed to the other side of the bed so she was closer to him and started rubbing his back while he coughed his lungs out. “It’s going to be okay. I’ll get you another cup and that will ease the coughing.” She took the cup off his hand and went to refill it. Hugo was staring at the two with a worried single eye, his tail low and wagging slightly in a stiff move. Emily noticed it as she handed the alien the cup and instructed him to drink slowly and in small sips. Then she turned her attention to Hugo. “Hugo, come.” The dog darted from his spot to go sit upright next to her feet. She smiled at him and scratched behind his ears.

Loki looked at the creature and raised an eyebrow. Hugo stared back, tilting his head to the side as if saying _“may I help you, Sir?”_ Emily noticed the staring between the two and smiled. It was Hugo’s turn to shine, since her patient was still slightly shaking.

“So this is Hugo,” she said, smiling at her faithful companion, “he’s my best friend and I’m his. He sometimes comes to help.” She turned her gaze to her patient. “He would like to help, if you would allow him.” Loki looked at her and then at the creature. Dogs were what these were called. He remembered reading about them at some point in the past. He might have even seen one or two during his last visit to Midgard. Was he on Midgard? The woman looked Midgardian, his surroundings looked it as well, but he couldn’t be sure. The dog seemed tame enough, and if anything happened Loki could defend himself. He was adept in combat anyway and has fought worse creatures throughout his life. Taking another deep breath, he nodded at the woman and settled comfortably on the bed. Emily’s smile widened, almost reaching her ears. She was pleased so far. Extremely pleased, she might add. Ruffling the fur on top of Hugo’s head, she simply said “work your magic, buddy.”

Upon hearing the word magic, Loki perked up. Was the dog magical? Was it going to cast a spell? Before he could think of more scenarios about the magic the woman meant, the dog leaped on top of the bed and settled next to Loki, putting his head over his chest and a paw over his torso. Loki stared at the woman with wide eyes. She was smiling at the sight before her, hands in the pockets of her robe. Loki then turned his gaze to the creature on top of him. Somehow the way the dog lay on him was soothing. It didn’t hurt his injuries, though he could feel the strain on them, but it wasn’t painful. He finally relaxed and let himself lay down.

Emily looked at her watch and gasped, “oh! My shift started an hour ago!” she gave the patient an apologetic look, “I need to go for now. I will be back soon for your meds and some food. Don’t try getting off the bed, you’ve been immobile for a few weeks, your muscles wouldn’t be able to hold your weight. We will help you with everything, even bathroom. Hugo will keep you company and protect you if needed.” She thought adding that last bit would ease the worried look she received when she mentioned she was leaving and getting help in the bathroom. It seemed to work, as the patient simply nodded and closed his eyes, bringing his free hand to run his fingers through Hugo’s short fur. Seeing everything was settled, Emily left the room and headed to the changing room to get into her scrubs. There was so much to do today. Aside from the routine work she also needed to alert Miss Danvers and Pepper that the patient has awakened. But until she did that, she needed to make sure that he was well enough before he could receive any visitors.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I must admit, I know nothing about service dogs. Well, I know what they do in a general sense. I simply needed a way to have Hugo be allowed into the medical facility, so I came up with that.
> 
> Kudo's and comments are much appreciated :)


	4. Chapter 4

After changing into her scrubs, Emily adjusted her bun and swiped a few loose strands of hair behind her ears. She put her glasses on and went to first see doctor Frank and check on how his hands are doing. She was wondering what exactly happened, since she could touch the alien’s skin with no problem. Upon entering the lounge, she saw the doctor drinking tea on the couch. “Hey doc,” she greeted him and approached. “Heard you had a bit of an accident.” She gave him a sympathetic smile.

Carefully setting his cup on the table, he held his bandaged hands for her to see. “I can at least hold a cup!” he smiled and lowered his hands. “I probably should have worn some protective gloves. Didn’t know there were aliens out there you can’t touch.” He shrugged, carefully picking up his cup again and taking a sip.

“It’s really weird though. I’ve been in contact with his skin and nothing happened.” She mused, sitting down across from him and looking at her own hands.

“That’s odd,” the doctor said, “maybe we should ask doctor Banner what he thinks.” It was more of a statement than a question. Emily nodded.

“I’ll be sending word later to Miss Danvers and Mrs. Stark that the patient has awakened. Should I send a note to doctor Banner as well?”

“Do that please. Holding a cup is the most I would be able to do for today.” The doctor chuckled. “Besides, my shift has just ended and I’ll be heading home. Will be taking a few days off until my hands get better. Might only visit doctor Banner to have them checked. I’m not sure if alien-caused burns are the same as normal burns. Though in this case it looked more like a horrible frostbite gone wrong.” He sighed.

“Understandable. I’ll take care of things here. Doctor Baker should be starting his shift soon. I’ll get him up to date.” She said, getting up, “he told you about what happened yesterday, right?” when the doctor nodded, she continued, “alright, I’ll get going then. Take care, doc.”

“See you in a few days, nurse Em.” He smiled at her as she waved and went on to her work.

There was a lot she didn’t know about her patient. His name, where he comes from, how did he end up floating in outer space, why is he blue and why can she touch him while others can’t. So many questions and she hoped she’d be given the time to get the all answered. Knowing how SHIELD was with aliens, it wouldn’t surprise her if they showed up seconds after she would inform Miss Danvers that the patient had awakened.

She first made a quick stop at the medication storage, collected what she needed and then went to the reception area, which was also considered the nurses’ office. Setting the medication on the counter, she sat behind a computer and quickly typed an email to Miss Danvers and Pepper, informing them that the patient has awakened, but is currently not in a state that allowed visitors. Then she sent another short email to doctor Banner, explaining the situation and wondering if he could spare a minute or two in the upcoming days to come for a consultation. Once she hit send, she grabbed the medication and proceeded towards the kitchen area. The patient wasn’t in a state to allow him any solid food just yet, so some yogurt and juice should do for the time being. They had that in the staff’s kitchen. Around lunch she’ll send an order to the main kitchen for a warm meal for herself and the patient, and something for Hugo as well. Or maybe she'd go get something from the cafeteria. Grabbing a pack of apple juice and a cup of yogurt, she set them and the medication on a tray and went to the IC unit.

There was a bowl of water near the door, which Emily hadn’t noticed before when she left the room earlier. Jess must have put it there for Hugo before she had gone home. Smiling at how thoughtful her colleague was, she gave the door a soft knock and walked in. The patient had his eyes closed and was running his fingers through Hugo’s fur, who was still laying on top of him. Emily placed the tray on the side table. The soft click caused the alien jerk up as he opened his eyes. That caused Hugo to grunt as he sat up as well, only to lay back down next to his patient like nothing had happened. It was just his human who caused his patient to move, after all. No need to panic.

Loki however, thought his heart was about to jump out of his chest when he heard the unexpected click. He hadn’t heard her come in, but upon seeing it was the woman from before, he sighed in relief and sunk back onto the mattress.

“I didn’t mean to startle you,” Emily said softly, “I did knock first, though.” Grabbing the cup of yogurt, she walked to the kitchenette and opened a drawer, getting out a teaspoon. It really paid off working at a stark facility. An IC unit was like a hotel room with a small kitchenette and a fridge, a bathroom. In the past she didn't get why did an intensive care unit need all this, since visitors weren't allowed and whoever's been in there (aka the Avengers, mostly) wouldn't have been in a state that would allow them to use those. But it was there and that's how things were at Stark Industries. Everything thought of. She walked back and placed a hand over the patient’s bandaged shoulder. “Can you sit up? I have some yogurt for you.”

Loki nodded and sat up. Taking the cup and spoon from her with one hand, Emily proceeded to raise the back of the bed so now her patient could lay back and stay in a sitting position. She then turned her attention back to the side table and started preparing the medication needed to be injected into the IV bag. Once everything was ready, she turned around syringe in hand and was met with a confused blue alien trying to balance a yogurt cup between his knees, spoon in his mouth and failing to open the sealed cup. “Oh! Sorry, for a moment I didn’t think.” She chuckled and walked over to him. “I’ll help you with that in a moment.”

Loki let the spoon drop from his mouth onto his lap and nodded, “much appreciated,” he mumbled in a raspy voice. His throat still felt dry. He leaned back against the pillow behind his back and watched her do her work. He felt weak still, apparently being bedridden for a while does that to you. While he could sit up and lay down on his own, he felt he couldn’t move his legs that much. They felt numb, tingling slightly whenever he tried to move them. He wished he could stand up and stretch his body a bit, but for the time being it seemed he was stuck in bed at the mercy of this woman and her dog. He turned his gaze to the dog in question, which was looking at him with a single eye. Loki wondered how the creature lost its eye. The way it was stitched from ear to snout made him think it must be a battle wound. Though his owner didn’t seem like a warrior. He would ask her at a later moment. Turning his attention to her, he watched her as she patiently pressed the tube she was holding onto another hanging from the metal pole next to his bed, holding a bag of clear liquid. There was a thin tube going from the bag, wrapped around the pole a couple of times and then dropping to the ground. His gaze followed the tube as it ascended from the ground and up to the bed, following its trail until his eyes reached his arm which was strapped to his body. The tube entered the bandages and disappeared inside it seemed. His heart started racing all of a sudden. What was he being given? Was she slowly poisoning him? His breath caught in his throat, he closed his eyes as he tried to calm himself. His free hand clutching at the bedsheet at his side.

Sensing his distress, Hugo perked up and placed his head over Loki’s lap, letting out a small whimper as if letting him know he was there. Emily dropped the used syringe into a special container and placed a hand on his shoulder. “You’re safe here.” She whispered and with her other hand gently brushed a strand of hair off his face. “No one’s going to hurt you.” She continued with soothing words and instructions to try to take deep, slow breaths. 

A few minutes passed and Loki managed to calm down. The woman’s voice was soothing to his ears and the light touch over his shoulder felt like it was spreading warmth through his cold Jotunn body. When he was finally calm, he let out another deep breath and opened his red eyes, looking at the woman standing next to him with a concerned smile on her face.

“What happened?” she asked.

“What did you do there?” his hand had finally let go of the bed sheets and he pointed at the IV bag.

Emily looked at it and then back to him, nodding at the realization that he doesn’t really know what all of this is. “My mistake. I’m not used to take care of alien patients, so I forgot that this would all be unfamiliar to you. Okay, let me explain..” she let go of his shoulder and moved on to explain what an IV bag is and why is the tube attached to him and what it contains. Then she moved to explain the medications he was being given. Loki listened carefully. All of this was fascinating. He didn’t recognize any of the components she was mentioning, but he was sure if he would do some reading he could find out what elements they were made of and who knows, they might even be elements he was familiar with. Seeing that it wasn’t harming him (yet), maybe he has come across them in one of the nine realms at some point in the past.

“So yeah, that’s basically it.” Emily concluded and picked up the sealed cup of yogurt from his lap and opened it. “Now it’s time for your breakfast.” She smiled, looking around for the spoon that somehow had disappeared among the sheets.

Loki was confused for a moment. Why was she staring at his lap all of a sudden? He automatically shifted the sheets covering his hips, feeling his cheeks warming up. Since when did he shy away when a woman was looking at his hips? Must be the lack of seiðr that’s making him feel self-conscious all of a sudden. Yep, that must be it. He then felt an object roll off his thigh as he pulled at the sheet. Oh! Loki felt stupid for a fraction of a moment when he realized she was looking for the spoon. Silently letting out a sigh he gave Hugo a quick glance before picking up the spoon and handing it to Emily, then moving his hand to rest on Hugo. Hugo simply placed a paw over his eye, as if saying “what an idiot!” and he wouldn’t be wrong, Loki thought.

“Oh there it is!” Emily chirped. She took the spoon from Loki and scooped out some yogurt. “So, how would you prefer this? Want to try to eat on your own, or should I help?” It was always helpful to ask certain patients how they wanted to do certain things. It gave them some feeling of being in control. When the alien took the spoon from her hand, she pulled the bed table close enough before turning to Hugo, “Hugo, off the bed, buddy.” She commanded, but her voice was not forced. Loki has never heard such a soft spoken command. The dog obeyed immediately and hopped off the bed, but stayed close by. “good boy.” Emily added with a smile before she continued pulling the table close to her patient and placing the cup of yogurt in front of him.

Loki hesitated at first, but then his stomach made such a loud noise that he quickly shoved the spoon into his mouth. Looking a bit embarrassed, he kept his gaze at the creamy substance he was eating. Yogurt, she had called it. He would ask her later what it is. It tasted familiar, yet also different. He knew it was made of milk, he could taste it. But what else was there he wasn’t sure. Is thoughts were interrupted when a small box with apples pictured on it was placed in front of him. “This is apple juice.” Emily explained. “Very delicious, and mild enough to give you a change of taste without disturbing your stomach.” She took the straw off the wrapper and pressed it through the opening on the box. She opted on not getting a bottled version so he could take small sips instead of downing the whole thing in one go. “I need to go do some work for now. Will you be alright?” Loki nodded, putting another spoonful of yogurt into his mouth. “Alright then. Hugo will stay with you and I’ll be back around lunch.” 

As Emily turned to leave, Loki swallowed the yogurt in his mouth and cleared his throat. “uhm..”

“Yes?” Emily stopped and looked at him, her face ever so friendly.

“Thank you..” he stopped, he didn’t know her name. “my apologies, I do not know your name.” He said, his voice still hoarse, but it seemed to be getting better because of the yogurt coating his throat.

Emily clapped a hand at her forehead. “Shoot! It totally slipped my mind! I didn’t introduce myself!” She laughed, which made Loki smile. Her laughter was pleasant. “I’m sorry for that. My name is Emily Green. I’m the head nurse taking care of you. There’s another nurse helping, Jess. She was taking care of you last night. There are also two doctors in this department. You’re currently in the intensive care unit, but once we see you’re getting better you’ll be transferred to a private room.”

That was a lot of information for Loki at the moment. Nonetheless, he nodded. “A pleasure to meet you Miss Green.” He said, a little smile tugging at the corner of his lip.

“You can call me Emily.” She smiled at him. “Do you have a name?”

“Loki” as soon as he said it, he realized that might cost him his life if he was on Midgard and people held grudge against him. But before his mind could get to dark places, Emily replied “Well nice to meet you, Loki!” Loki sighed in relief. He didn’t expect that reaction upon hearing his name, then again, he was blue. Last time he was here he was in his Asardian form and Midgardians did not know of his heritage, aside from the Avengers, most likely. Thor would have told them, of course.

“Alright, I’ll get going now and will return around lunch time. The doctor might pop in just before lunch to check up on you. Just so you know. He usually does his rounds after lunch, but seeing you finally woke up from the coma, he needs to run some checks on you.”

Loki nodded. As Emily left the room and closed the door behind her, he sighed and continued eating the yogurt. The cup was small, so it finished pretty quickly. He couldn’t scoop everything out using just one hand and nothing to hold the cup in place. It frustrated him a bit. Dropping the spoon on the table, he looked at Hugo, who was staring curiously at him and licking his snout. “Would you like the rest?” When Hugo’s ears perked up, Loki smiled. “Come get it.” He pushed the table a bit away from him, making some space for the dog to get on the bed without crushing him or breaking something. As Hugo got on the bed and started licking the rest of the yogurt from the plastic cup, Loki grabbed the apple juice and started drinking. He knew what straws were and how to use them. He used them quite often as a child whenever went to Vanaheim with his mother. Oh how he wished she was here right now. He missed her warm smile and warm hugs. Her wisdom. She could help him recover his seiðr. Alas, she was long gone. If only he hadn’t tipped Kurse on which way he should go from the dungeons, she could have been still alive. Sighing, he put the juice box on to the table and lay back. Hugo finished licking the yogurt cup and after licking his own snout clean he lay down next to Loki, placing his head over his lap. Loki scratched behind his ears as he looked down on him. How can such a creature sense the overwhelming sadness in his heart? At that very moment Loki felt hopeless and lonely. He had lost his magic, lost his family, lost his people. He was all alone with no way to recover Odin’s spell that gave him a porcelain skin. His hart felt like it was closing in on itself as Loki buried his face in his palm and allowed himself to cry silently.


	5. Chapter 5

It was almost lunch time. Emily has been working on reports for three hours non-stop. Since they only had one patient at the facility, she could spend time doing paperwork and helping at the lab whenever it was needed. She planned on spending the time after lunch taking care of her patient, Loki. His name sounded familiar, though she couldn’t quite remember where she heard it before. She checked her mailbox and there were already replies from Miss Danvers, Pepper and doctor Banner. Danvers was excited the alien had awakened and will be visiting as soon as she can spare some time. Pepper notified she’d expect the green light from her whenever the patient could receive visitors so she could pay him a visit. Then Emily moved on to doctor Banner’s email. As always, Banner’s emails were always written pretty formal. Like he was writing a dissertation paper. Though this time there seemed to be some sort of urgency to it. He was asking about the exact cause, how it exactly happened, when and why did they think it’s a frostbite. Not giving it much thought, Emily quickly typed a reply explaining they had a blue alien patient who seems to have a skin so cold to the human touch that it causes a massive frostbite.

After sending the reply to doctor Banner, she turned off the computer and went to the cafeteria, ordering lunch for two and some whatever leftovers they had for Hugo. The staff knew Hugo, so they made sure the leftovers they gave her were dog friendly. She was going to spend lunch with Loki, keeping him company and getting to know him a little. It wasn’t every day you got to have a blue alien with sharp facial features and beautiful markings land at the door of your work. 

Thanking the cook, she took two bags from him. One was for Hugo, and the other contained her and Loki’s lunch. She didn’t know if he would like Earth food, but the food at the Stark cafeteria was superb. She made a quick stop at her locker and grabbed Hugo’s food bowl and took it along.

Upon walking into the room, she noticed Loki sleeping in his seated position, with Hugo laying next to him. The dog turned to look at her for a moment before putting his head back onto Loki’s lap, where it was before. Emily had a feeling Hugo will have to stay here for a bit longer than just today. She didn’t mind it. It was always good to have Hugo be active not only physically during their walks, but also this way. Sure, he was retired, but he was good at emotional support. Making a mental note to inform the doctor about it, she moved further into the room and placed the food bags onto the kitchenette counter. First she filled Hugo’s food bowl with his share of food, placed it on the floor, then started unpacking her and Loki’s lunch. She had decided on a simple chicken and vegetable soup, with some bread on the side. She brought the soup bowls to the overbed table and went to grab the bread and some spoons. She made sure to place the spoons very gently on the table as to not startle Loki by the noise. Looking at him, she noticed dark, wet lines going down his face. Has he been crying? Her heart clenched at the sight. She felt sorry for him. She couldn’t imagine how hard it must be for him right now. Waking up on a strange planet, wrapped up in bandages, tubes and wires attached to him. That is a frightening sight for anyone who wasn’t aware of where they were.

Sighing, she walked to his side and gently touched his shoulder. “Loki,” she whispered, “it’s lunch time.”

Loki opened his eyes slowly, blinking a couple of times to clear his blurred view. He didn’t notice Emily at first, so his first reaction was a gasp. Though before his flight instincts could kick in, he saw her smiling at him, which calmed him a bit. “I must have fallen asleep.”

“Seems like it,” she chuckled as she moved to adjust the pillow behind his back. “I got us lunch. Are you hungry?”

“Famished.”

“Good! Me too.” She grinned. Walking back to the other side, she looked at Hugo, who was following her with his gaze and licking his nose. He knew he was about to have some food as well. “Go.” She simply said, nodding her head in the direction where his food bowl was. Hugo didn’t need to be told twice. He jumped off the bed and hurried to his lunch, his tail wagging excitedly behind his legs. Emily giggled at the dog’s excitement and pulled the overbed table closer to Loki, then pulled a chair for herself to sit on.  
She handed Loki his spoon and placed his bowl close enough for him to be able to start eating. She grabbed her own in her hands and started eating. Loki nodded his gratitude and started eating as well. Having not eaten for a while, the soup tasted heavenly. After a couple of spoons, he placed the spoon on the table and grabbed a piece of bread. Taking a bite, he closed his eyes and dropped his head back against the backrest and sighed in content. Emily was pleased. So today’s menu can be something to be repeated in the future.

“It tastes even better if you dip it into the soup.” She commented. Loki opened his eyes and saw her dipping a piece of bread into her own soup and then taking a bite. He did the same, which resulted in a satisfied moan escaping his lips, at which, Emily giggled. “I know, right?” she said, quite pleased with herself.

They continued eating in silence. Emily recharging for the rest of the working day and Loki savouring the taste of the simple meal he was given. Once finished, Emily cleaned up the table and took the bowls and spoons away onto a cart with other items to be taken out of the room later. She still had another 30 minutes of her break, so she decided to stay and chat a little. Hugo was done with his own lunch in record time, and spent the rest of the time laying next to Emily’s feet.

“ So Loki, how are you feeling by now?” she started, leaning back onto her seat.

“I’m not quite sure,” he shrugged. Lonely, defeated, disgraced, disgusting.. where should he start?

“Any physical pain?” when he shook his head, she went on, “discomfort from the bandages?” again, none. 

“Physical ailments do not bother me that much.” He started, “I.. I’m not sure how I’m feeling. I cannot move my arm,” he motioned towards his wrapped arm with his free one, “my legs refuse to cooperate and..” he hesitated for a moment, cheeks getting warm in embarrassment, “I feel that there is something attached to my.. uhm.. nether regions and.. I fear if I lift the covers to see what it is, I might have heart attack.” He let out a deep sigh, looking away from her to hide the shame on his face.

Emily tilted her head a bit while listening to him. It was understandable that having one arm strapped to you was inconvenient and irritating, and so was not having control over your legs (which in Loki’s case was temporary. He will be starting physical therapy as soon as his injuries allowed it anyway.) But then.. a thing attached to what..? Oh! She brought her palm to her forehead in realization. “Again, SO sorry for not telling you earlier while I explained what the other machines are!” She chuckled and wiped a loose hair off her face. “So you know how you’ve been in a coma for the past few weeks, right?” when Loki nodded, she continued, “While you’re sleeping, your body continues working. So sometimes you need to go to the bathroom.” Loki’s eyes widened at that. Did they..? “And since you cannot move, we attached a catheter. Basically a thin tube going through your penis up into your bladder, with the other end attached to a bag, which gets changed daily.” She pointed at the other side of the bed to where the urine bag was discretely hanging in another bag, out of plain sight. Loki covered his face in shame. He felt his limbs go numb as she told him what was attached to him and for what purpose. If he could run out of the room right now, he would. Alas, his imbecile legs would not yet cooperate and he felt too weak in general. 

Having seen similar (and sometimes worse) reactions from various patients, Emily thought nothing of it and simply gently patted Loki’s knee. “This is a normal procedure. It will be removed by tomorrow. I promise.” she tried the best soothing voice she could muster. This was always a delicate subject, especially for men.

Loki’s hand went down from his face, revealing curiosity on his blue features. “Miss Green, why does your voice sound familiar? Have we met before?”

“I would probably remember meeting a blue alien before, so no, we haven’t.” She smiled, sitting back. “I’m guessing you’re remembering hearing my voice from the times I read to you while you were in a coma.”

“You read to me?” Wasn’t that something close family did? He could remember many a time his mother sitting next to his bed, reading to him while he was recovering from injuries caused by either war or recklessness.

“Well, most people have friends and family around them and they do the reading or just talking. A familiar voice is supposed to help with the recovery. We didn’t know if you had anyone around here, so I thought I’d do it.” She shrugged. Her job was taking care of patients, and she was doing just that.

“Another question, if I may,” when Emily nodded, he went on, “where is here exactly?”

“I thought it would be obvious.” She chuckled, “you’re on Earth. To be precise, the country of the United states, New York city,” Loki’s eyes widened at the name of the city. No. His heart started racing and he could feel his hand shaking. “..and to be even more precise, this is the medical facility at the Stark Tower.” as she concluded, Loki was having problems breathing. He was in deep shit and no way to get out. “Loki are you alright?” Emily stood up as the heart monitor started beeping and Loki clutched tightly at his chest trying to breath. Great, another anxiety attack. Just peachy! Hugo jumped onto the bed in no time and started nuzzling Loki’s cheek and then lay down on his lap. 

At that moment the door opened and a Hulk sized Bruce Banner walked in. “Hey Em, I wanted to see this patient of yours, I think I..” seeing a terrified and hyperventilating Loki on the bed made him pause in shock, “..know what it.. is.. Loki?”

The moment Loki saw the Hulk walking in, his breathing got even more difficult. He needed to get out of here, and fast. In full panic, he pushed himself off the bed. Which resulted in Hugo jumping with a yelp and Loki falling off of it with a loud thump, tubes and cables tangling around his legs. The IV pole toppling over as he pushed himself as far away from the Hulk as he could, ending up just behind the bed and curling on himself against the wall, head hidden between his knees and his free arm wrapped around his head. “Please no. Please no. Please no.” He repeated between difficult breaths. Hugo turned towards Bruce and simply growled at him for upsetting his patient.

“Shit.” Emily cursed and ran to Loki’s side. “Loki, it’s okay. You’re safe. I promise.” She whispered, running her fingers through his hair, trying to calm him. “Try to breathe slowly. I swear on my life you are safe.”

“Please..” Loki whispered, “can’t.. breathe.. hurts..” he leaned back just a bit to put his hand over his chest and scratching at the bandage. “hurts..” suddenly everything around him turned black and his body fell limp into Emily’s arms. Hugo was already next to them, looking at Loki with concern.

Emily reached for the emergency button, but it was out of her reach. Bruce stood there dumbfounded while the whole thing played in front of him. All this time Loki was here and no one bothered to inform him or any of the others? How? Why? Does Thor know? “BRUCE!” hearing his name brought him out of his thoughts, “a little help here!” Emily urged him. “I can’t get him up. Grab a blanket, you might get a frostbite otherwise.”

“Yes, of course!” Bruce blinked and grabbed a blanket off the bed. With a bit of manoeuvring they brought Loki back onto the bed, which Emily had set back to flat position before she moved on to reattach all the cables and to replace the IV bag. As she did that, she gave Bruce a disappointed look but said nothing. Bruce knew that look. He had been the receiver of that look many times in the past. When something was too interesting, all reservations he had seemed to get thrown out the window. In some cases that resulted in either broken items, ruined projects, or terrified people. And sometimes an angry Hugo, which is what upset Emily every time. Well, today next to an angry Hugo there was a very sick Loki and Bruce was now even expecting a silent treatment.

Emily took out her work phone and called the attending doctor, giving him a very short summary in the form of panic attack resulting in unconsciousness and asking him to come in. She pocketed the phone and turned to Bruce. “Could you please wait for me at the reception area?”

“Listen, Em, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

“I’ll see you in a bit, doctor Banner.” She said in a firm tone, her eyes focused on the monitor registering Loki’s vitals.

Bruce sighed and left the room, head hung low. He didn’t expect to see Loki there. Let alone alive. Let alone in his Jotunn form. What shocked him even more was how Loki reacted to him. They spent some time together on the refugee vessel after causing Ragnarok. He seemed fine around him, even while they fought Hela. _Especially_ when they fought Hela. Too many thoughts went through his head, he needed to inform Pepper and Thor. Pepper must already know about it, seeing that Loki is being treated here. Though why didn’t she tell anyone Loki was here? Surely she knows how important this is for Thor. He was sure Pepper wouldn’t keep something like this from Thor, unless... unless she didn’t know about it either. Reaching the reception area, he sat down on a bench and waited patiently for Emily to come to him. He needed answers. A lot of them.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of drama. I'm a sucker for those.  
> Also, I guess a trigger warning is applicable here. I just don't know how to categorise/define it. So.. you've been warned?  
> Thanks for reading!

Bruce had his elbows over his knees and face buried into his palms. This was all too confusing. He was wrong to walk into an intensive care unit unannounced, but what nagged at him more was the fact that Loki was alive and to Emily Green it seemed like the most normal thing in the universe. Did she not know who he was or was she under some sort of spell? Sure, a few years back on Sakaar and later on Asgard and the refugee vessel, Loki has shown a lot of maturity and was working alongside Thor. Even helped fighting against Thanos when they were attacked on the ship. Not that it did them any good. But still! Loki was the God of Mischief and Lies. No matter what he did, he was never to be fully trusted. Hell, even his own brother didn’t trust him a completely. Bruce sighed in frustration and it came out as a low growl. The Hulk was getting restless. “Hulk, this is not the time nor the place for you to take full charge.” He mumbled, pressing at his eyes with the heels of his hands. The Hulk seemed to disagree with him, but Bruce was resilient and would not risk the place nor the staff by letting the Hulk take full charge, just because Loki was staying in a room there.

Soft yet determined steps came to stop three feet from him. He raised his head to look at the source and was met with a highly irritated Emily. More like pissed off Emily, seeing how she had tightly clenched her jaw and was shooting daggers at him with her gaze. Bruce’s heart dropped. He really liked working with her and didn’t want to jeopardize their friendship. “Em..” Before he could even finish saying her name, she raised a hand and cut him off.

“How could you?” she hissed, taking a step forward.

“Wha..”

“How could you come into the unit unannounced, knowing there’s a patient in there that is NOT ready to receive visitors? Did you not read my e-mail, doctor? You could have called me or anyone around here and ask first! Hell, you could have even asked Pepper!” Her voice was getting louder and breath quickening rapidly. She wasn’t just pissed, she was disappointed and just plain angry. “You saw how he reacted to your presence.” She lowered her voice upon realizing other staff members staring as they passed by. The Hulk being scolded by a woman who, while tall, looked quite petite next to him? That wasn’t a sight you witnessed every day. The only living person who got to scold any of the Avengers and including the Hulk and live to tell the tale was Pepper Potts, now Pepper Stark. That aside, Emily was a bubbly, happy-go-lucky person that everybody loved to be around. Seeing her this angry at someone would definitely call for attention. Bruce remained silent, looking at his feet as she continued. “Listen, Bruce,” she sighed, her voice calmer now but not less angry, “you know better than anyone how people react when they don’t know the new you. You..”

“I know who he is, Em. And he knows who I am. Both versions of me, in fact.” It was his turn to interrupt her. His voice remained as calm as it had always been. Emily was taken aback at that, raising an inquiring eyebrow at the statement. Seeing that, Bruce went on, “His name is Loki Odinson, he’s Thor’s brother. He was killed by Thanos before Thanos came to Earth five years ago, right before the snap.” Emily went on to sit next to him. This was way too much information. Her head was buzzing already. “Though I’ve never seen him blue before. That must be how he looks as a Frost Giant.”

“A Frost Giant?” Emily sounded surprised. Well, Loki did give doctor Frank the frostbite of his life, so that explains the frost part. But a giant? Loki seemed tall (judging from the space he occupied on the bed) but not tall enough to be a giant.

“It’s this alien race in space. They supposedly lived on some dark, snowy planet.” He shrugged, “Haven’t personally seen it. I just know the minimum from what Thor told us some time ago. They’re supposedly this monster race that likes to wage wars and kill for fun.”

Emily sat back on the bench, leaning against the wall. “Huh..” she mused, more to herself than anything. Too much to process. “Well, he doesn’t look like a giant.”

“His ego makes up for it.” Bruce chuckled.

Emily let out a small ‘pfft’ sound. “I’ll believe that when I see it. So far he’s been having a cardiac arrest, several anxiety and panic attacks.” She sighed, almost as if in defeat. “Hugo helps with those.” She smiled when mentioning her faithful companion, then turned to Bruce with a scolding look, “and you made him angry, and that’s another thing I’m pissed at you about. Hugo was working when you walked in!”

“I’m really sorry, Em.” Bruce gave her an apologetic smile, “I really am. I should have called..” at that moment an alarm sound went behind the reception counter and Emily turned to look at the receptionist.

“It’s the ICU,” The receptionist looked at Emily.

“Loki..” Emily said and jumped off her seat, running to the room. Bruce followed after her, but after reaching the room he stopped at the door and decided to wait outside. The doctor and the other nurse were there as well, putting on thick gloves while Emily turned off the alarm sound from the monitor. Loki was going into yet another cardiac arrest. Shit. “Hugo, out!” she commanded and the dog obeyed. 

The team of three were working silently, yet efficiently together. Both nurses knew what to do and when. Emily hopped onto to the bed at Loki’s side, starting CPR while the doctor and the other nurse were doing their own parts in trying to get Loki’s heart to stabilize. They went on like this for a short while. They needed to work fast. Emily continued the compressions for a few minutes, which to her felt like hours, and then the dreaded beeping sound came from the monitor. Loki’s heart had stopped.

“Don’t you dare give up on me.” She whispered while she continued the compressions. The other nurse dropped the CPR oxygen mask for a moment and rushed to pull the defibrillator close. She prepared it and the doctor took over. The nurse then grabbed scissors and cut the bandages off of Loki’s chest, Emily trying not to be in her way. Once done, Emily stopped the compressions briefly, removed the remaining bandages out of the way and gave space to the doctor as she stood next to the machine while the other nurse went back to grab the oxygen mask.

“Okay, charge 300.. clear!”

“Charge 400.. clear!” the doctor repeated when the flat line didn’t change and the beeping didn’t stop.

“It’s not working.” The nurse whispered.

“Charge 500.. clear!”

The beep continued. The doctor started manual compressions while knowing it was futile.

“Doc, maybe you should call it.” The nurse said, while still pumping the mask.

“I’m afraid so.” The doctor stopped his ministrations and sighed. The nurse took the mask off of Loki’s face and put it aside, her eyes cast down to the floor. It never felt good to lose a patient. “Time of death..” the doctor started, but was roughly pushed aside by a very pissed off Emily.

“Like hell you are.” She basically growled, her eyes glistening with tears. She grabbed the handles and placed them over Loki’s chest. When pushed aside, the doctor looked at the defibrillator and noticed the voltage. Set at maxiumum. “Emily don’t!”

“CLEAR!” she practically yelled and pressed the buttons.

Loki’s body spasmed from the high voltage shock, his back arching high off the bed and then dropping back onto the sheets. Nothing changed. Though Emily wasn’t giving up. She jumped onto the bed, straddled him and started the compressions again. The other nurse grabbed the mask and joined her. She didn’t even know why she was doing this. There was no pulse, the doctor was about to call it and she decided nope, not on her watch. She’s definitely going to get fired for this. Though she hoped for a good scolding instead. But right now her focus was Loki.

“Emily, you need to stop.”

“No.” She kept on with the steady compressions.

“Miss Green, please. It’s time to call it.” The doctor’s words were not heard.

“No!”

Bruce slowly walked into the room once he heard they were defibrillating. He couldn’t just stand outside anymore. Thor is going to be crushed if he found out his brother was found, alive and then died again. Upon noticing him, the doctor motioned for him to come closer. Bruce nodded and slowly approached Emily.

“Hey, Em, it’s okay, you did everything you can.” He said in his soothing voice.

“No. He is not supposed to die like this.” She said, tears rolling down her cheeks. “I promised him he would be safe, Bruce!” she turned her face to look at Bruce while she continued the compressions.

Bruce smiled gently, though his heart was shattered at the sight of her teary eyes. Emily always felt strongly to the patients in her care. It’s a miracle how she hasn’t gone insane yet through the years. “He was safe.” He whispered, putting his hand gently over her shoulder.

“No.” She was sobbing now. “Start beating, please!” she addressed Loki’s heart, like it would listen. “Please.. come back..” she whispered as her compressions slowly lost intensity until she stopped them altogether. She remained straddling him, her hands now covering her face as she started crying.

“Em..” Bruce didn’t even attempt to get her off of Loki. He simply rubbed circles with his thumb over her shoulder.

“This shouldn’t have happened.” She breathed between sobs. She was disappointed at how she failed at keeping her promise. She promised him safety and now.. She had almost forgotten the last time she had lost a patient. That was years ago. Sure the prognosis for that patient wasn’t promising, but it stung nonetheless. She didn’t want to go through that ever again and yet.. 

Anger boiled within her as she sniffed and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. She glared at the peaceful face in front of her. How dare he give up so easily? How dare he give up on her? On Hugo? “You shouldn’t have died.” She said, her voice close to a growl. “You were not supposed to die!” she practically yelled and as her anger spiked, she raised her hand and brought her fist down to Loki’s chest, hitting it with all her strength.

The last electric shock surged through Loki’s body like a lightening rod breaking barriers, making way for a life trapped within. No body noticed the green glow starting at the tips of Loki’s fingers as everyone’s focus was Emily who had now dropped onto his chest crying her heart out. Bruce was about to help her get off of Loki when the constant beeping stopped and immediately followed with a single beep. Every one stopped and turned at it. There it was, another single beep. “Loki..” Emily whispered as the beeps were becoming more regular and steady.

It happened in an instant. One moment they were staring at the monitors, next thing they knew all of them were thrown away as a surge of green flash erupted from Loki’s body. The doctor and the nurse were thrown at the closest wall, hitting monitors and cables on their way. Even Bruce was pushed a few steps back and ended up on the floor. Emily took the biggest hit as she was still on the bed when it happened. She was violently thrown off to the opposite side of the room, her head hitting a row of counters that stood on that side before she fell to the ground, unconscious.

The heart monitor kept beeping steadily, Loki’s breathing was stable, but he didn’t wake up. Bruce was the first to get up and saw the doctor shaking his head to clear it and getting up as well, checking on the nurse who lay unconscious next to him. Bruce turned around and saw Emily on the other side of the room and rushed to her side.

“Emily, can you hear me?” he put one hand under her head in order to lift her and he felt something wet and warm. Lifting his hand he saw a small amount of blood. “Shit.” He cursed and called for the doctor. The other nurse was up as well by then and both of them, while still a bit disoriented, approached Bruce and Emily. Bruce’s hands were too big to do any quick physical checks for other injuries, so he just kept his hand behind Emily’s head as a sort of temporary compression while the doctor took over and quickly examined her. The head injury was the only one, thank goodness. 

Emily was transferred to the next room to get the head injury treated and get a full examination. There was only so much they could do while she was unconscious. Everything else will have to wait until she woke up. The doctor and the nurse went to get checked up as well, while Bruce (who promised he was totally fine and didn’t need to get checked) stayed with Emily. He took out his phone and dialled Pepper’s number. She should know about this. Hey were related after all, he couldn’t remember how, but they were related somehow.

“Hey Pep, listen, can you come to the.. oh she did.. okay, yeah. The room next to the ICU. I’m with her.” Thank goodness for FRIDAY who instantly alerted Pepper about what happened. Pepper was already on her way it seemed. Good. Once she’s here, he can go lie down a bit. He was about to start blaming himself, since Loki seemed to be doing fine until the moment he saw the Hulk walking into his room, but then his thoughts stopped when he heard a small whimper at the door followed by scratches. “Hugo,” he said and went to open the door. Once open, the dog stormed in and jumped on top of Emily’s bed and lay down next to her, whimpering softly. Bruce closed the door again and came back to sit next to the bed. Thank goodness Hugo was outside the room at that time. God knows what would have happened to him if he was exposed to that energy surge. He hoped FRIDAY had recorded everything and was already analysing what it was. He will have to check that out later.

The door opened again and Pepper rushed in, “Bruce,” she said and hugged him. “are you okay? what happened exactly? FRIDAY told me but I was too busy rushing here to actually pay attention to the details” she then turned to Emily, who’s head was wrapped in bandages and all sorts of cables and tubes were attached to her. Pepper approached the bed and held Emily’s hand in hers, then turned to look at Bruce. “How bad is it? Will she be okay?”

Bruce sighed. “We can’t be sure yet. She has to wake up first.” When Pepper nodded, he started telling her what happened through the day that lead to this moment.

-*-*-*-*-*-

After Bruce had told Pepper what happened, she told him she’ll stay with Emily and he can go get himself checked or at least get some rest. She could see on his light green face that he was exhausted. He declined to leave the room, since he still felt guilty about the whole thing. So she suggested he lay down on the couch that was in the room. That way he could get his rest without being away. Knowing there was no winning when Pepper said something, Bruce lay down on the couch and almost instantly drifted into sleep.

In the next room, nurses were cleaning up the mess and readjusting the cables and IV tube that were attached to Loki. His bedsheets were a mess, so with protective gloves on they adjusted the covers while moving him from side to side to fix the sheets underneath him as well. They were being careful, almost gentle. They heard from the other nurse how Emily had reacted when Loki flatlined. They wouldn’t want to be the cause of her pain once again if something went wrong. Everyone loved Emily and they didn’t want her to go through this kind of thing ever again.

Pepper was reading her mail on her phone in one hand while the other was lightly holding Emily’s. It had been almost an hour when Emily stirred. Pepper put her phone away and stood up, never leaving Emily’s hand. She smiled fondly when Emily slowly opened her eyes.

“Hey, cuz.” Pepper smiled, running her thumb over Emily’s eyebrow affectionately.

Emily just groaned and closed her eyes again. “Too much.. light. Headache..”

“FRIDAY, lights down to 30%, please.” Pepper said and the lights in the room dimmed to the asked level. Emily carefully opened her eyes again, a small pained smile forming on her lips.

“Hey, Pep. You’re kinda blurry..”

“You had us all worried there.” Pepper said, Emily just grunted in reply, which made Pepper’s smile widen. She was relieved that her cousin was awake. Though a small part of her was still worried she might have a concussion. They were all waiting for Emily to wake up before they could proceed with more tests to determine any brain damage. Hugo was already happily wagging his tail. Somehow the dog knew this was not the best time to jump at his human’s face and start licking it happily. So he stayed next to her, giving her support in that simple way like he always did, by just being there. 

It didn’t take long for the doctor to show up in the room. Bruce was already up by then and had joined Pepper next to Emily, who had her eyes closed and simply listening to Pepper and Bruce talking about everything and nothing. The doctor finally asked them to leave the room and Pepper called for Hugo to join them. Once they had left, the doctor started doing all sorts of tests on Emily. Once he determined she might have a mild concussion, he told her she was otherwise good and can leave tomorrow and rest at home for a week or so, then he turned to leave. Emily tried to sit up and as soon as she did, her stomach decided to act against her and she threw up on the bed. “Oh fuck. You weren’t wrong about the concussion.” She looked at the doctor who had immediately returned to her side and before he could say anything, she hurled again. He pressed the buzzer and a few seconds later Jess came in.

“Oh Em!” she gasped and gave her friend a quick gentle hug before she instantly got into work mode. She took away the dirty sheets and tossed them aside. While she was working the doctor gave her some instructions concerning some medications Emily needed to take tonight. After the doctor left, Jess continued cleaning up and helped Emily take off her shirt and put on a hospital gown. She kept her pants on, though. There was no way in hell she would be walking around in a hospital gown with her backside open for all to see. Jess took the dirty blanket out of the room and after a minute or so came back with a fresh set. Emily was lucky it was only the blanket that had suffered her upset stomach and not the bedsheet itself. She didn’t feel like getting off the bed at all. She felt too tired to move and had a killer headache. Not a good combination with the nausea she was feeling. She remained laying down, her eyes closed and a hand reached for the warm fur next to her, idly scratching behind Hugo’s ear. Jess put a new light blanket over her, bringing it up to her torso. Then grabbed a couple of paper emesis basins, put them on the bed table and pulled it close to the side of the bed so Emily could reach for them if she needed to throw up again.

“Em, you awake?”

“Mhmm..”

“I have a night shift, so I’ll be here all night, ok?” Jess said, giving Emily’s hand a squeeze.

“Mhmm..” Emily was too tired to speak.

“Rest for now. I’ll come back later.” Jess gave her friend a concerned smile, not that Emily could see it with her eyes closed, but nonetheless. Jess was concerned. On the way out she told Pepper and Bruce that Emily is resting. They could go in if they wanted to (not that anyone could have stopped them), but also advised them to let Emily rest for tonight. They agreed, but asked Jess to immediately inform both of them through FRIDAY if anything happened. Jess nodded her agreement and with that, both Pepper and Bruce left the medical facility, with the intention to come back in the morning.


	7. Chapter 7

Emily slept through the night despite the headache, which by the morning had significantly subsided, though not completely gone. The wound at the back of her head was adding to the pain and she was too stubborn to take any painkillers. Whatever painkillers she got through IV while she was unconscious was good enough for her and she was not going to subject her body to more medication when it wasn’t really necessary. She simply disliked painkillers. They made her dizzy and fatigued.

Bruce and Pepper arrived together to check up on her. She was sitting in the hospital bed with Hugo half on the bed, half on her lap. She was scratching his head and giggling at the way he looked at her. Upon seeing Pepper and Bruce she greeted them happily, making their smiles go ear-to-ear instantly. They were happy and relieved to see her feeling better. They both stayed a bit, talked and had tea (while Pepper had coffee) and after a while Bruce decided he will go back to his lab before heading to doctor Frank’s house to check on his hands.

After Bruce had left, Pepper turned to Emily, “So, I had this idea..”

“I’m not staying in the penthouse, Pep.”

“But you would be much closer and I could take care of you!”

“That’s very lovely of you, Pep, and I appreciate it. But I need to sleep in my own bed if I were expected to get any amount of rest.” Emily smiled. She simply loved her bed. Even while on vacation she couldn’t have a good night’s sleep at hotels, because, well.. it wasn’t her bed she was sleeping in.

“We can bring your bed here.” Pepper offered. “We can have it here by noon!”

It would be ideal. She would be close to work, and to Pepper. In case her concussion would get worse, she’d only be a few.. okay, several floors above the medical facility instead of being on the other side of the city. Knowing it was a lost battle from the moment Pepper offered to bring her bed to the penthouse, Emily sighed and nodded slowly. ”All riiight, you win.” She told Pepper with a smile.

“Yay!” Pepper leaned in to hug her. “I’ll get things arranged. Need anything else from your apartment other than the bed and some clothes?”

“Uh.. I’m not sure.. Oh! My headphones and laptop. They’re on the kitchen counter. Also Hugo’s toys.. well just the ball we take on walks should be good enough.”

“Done.” Pepper said, tapping on her phone and sending the order to Happy. “Happy will get that arranged. I’ll go talk to the doctor to see if we can take you upstairs already or if we need to wait.”

Emily nodded, but before Pepper could leave, she called for her. “Pep, how’s my patient? Loki?”

“Asleep.” Pepper gave her a sad smile and walked out of the room.

It was quite surreal for Pepper to have Loki in the same building where he through her late husband out of the window. Sure that was years ago, but Tony had spent months reliving that moment through his nightmares about the invasion Loki led. And now.. the same person behind her late husband’s nightmares was being cared for by her cousin, who apparently didn’t give up on him when his heart gave up. If it was anyone else, they would have said ‘too bad’ at the fact that Emily managed to somehow resuscitate him. But this was Pepper. The attack on New York was almost ten years ago and Tony had made his peace with it and moved on long before the whole ordeal with Thanos had started. If Tony was okay with it then she was too. Now Loki was here, most likely as a refugee, and under their care. Pepper would make sure he received all the medical care and security they could offer. If not for Emily’s sake (she needed to ask Emily about what happened the day before) then for Thor’s. The guy lost his brother three times in the past years and now he’s here. She needed to inform him, though Thor was away to God knows where and what for with the Guardians. FRIDAY could deliver the message, but it will take a while. Maybe Carol could reach him faster? She’ll give her a call later. Right now her focus was Emily and getting her upstairs to the penthouse.

-*-*-*-*-*-

After another check up by doctor Baker, who informed her she was to be using a walker for going up to the penthouse because she refused to be brought up with a wheelchair. She knew she didn’t need it, the doctor knew she didn’t need it, but he was being extra cautious because it was Emily. A moment later Jess walked in with the walker in question and a grin on her face. “I’m so going to make videos of this.”

“I’ll have Pepper get FRIDAY to wipe them off your phone instantly!” Emily responded in a heartbeat. She knew Jess wouldn’t be posting said videos to the web and would probably use them as bribe material years from now, but why give her that chance at all? She chuckled at the overly fake insulted look Jess gave her.

Once Jess and doctor Baker were gone, Emily slowly got off the bed. Blood was rushing to her head and she felt slightly dizzy. Her body still felt tired, but she needed to stretch her legs a bit. She was never one to stay in bed for long, that is when it wasn’t her own. Hugo came next to her in support and she scratched the back of his ear, more out of habit if nothing else. She took a couple of steps and wavered. Maybe using the walker was not such a bad idea. Jess had placed it close to the bed so Emily could reach it once she was off the bed. And she did so. Sighing in frustration, she grabbed the handles and cursed under her breath at how old it made her feel. Sure, a walker was handy and quite necessary when recovering from a physical injury, but she definitely didn’t need it for just a concussion. She just needed her bed. With that in mind, she decided to take a short walk and see how Loki was doing. While Pepper, and later Jess, had told her he was still asleep, she wanted to check up on him herself. So with Hugo next to her, she walked out of her room and towards the room next door where Loki was.

The door was open, but there was no co-worker inside. Emily walked in, making sure the walker didn’t make any noises on the tiled floor. And sure enough, Loki was still asleep and the only thing one could hear in the room was the low steady beep of the heart monitor. She walked up to the bed and grabbed the tablet at the end of the bed, steadied herself by leaning against the bedframe so she could navigate through the tablet with both hands. Things seemed good for now. All tests showing normal results. She was pleased with that and put the tablet back in its pocket at the end of the bed. She grabbed the walker again and gave Loki another look before she left. Hugo followed her. She needed him now more than Loki did, and his human always had priority. Always.

She went back to her room and sat down on the sofa, lifting her legs up and lying down. The short walk was nice, but she felt tired. She looked a the clock on the wall, which showed it’s almost noon. Pepper would be coming any moment now to take her upstairs.

Sure enough, ten minutes later someone knocked the door and walked in. It was Bruce. “Hey Em, am I disturbing?”

“Bruce! No not at all.” She sat up to make space for him to sit next to her, which he did. 

“Pepper was called to a sudden call with Malibu, so she asked me to keep you company at the penthouse.”

“Is my bed already there?”

“Bedsheets and all. Waiting for you.” He smiled.

“Perfect. I could use a year-long sleep right now.” She chuckled and got up, only to sit back down because of a sharp pain through her skull, which made her hiss. “Stupid scratch.”

“Let me help,” Bruce said, offering his hand for her to grab. She took it and stood up, grabbing the walker with the other and then leaned on it with both hands. “You’re still against painkillers?”

“Forever and ever.” She looked at him, her face determined but showing a friendly smile.

“You’re sometimes worse than Pepper when it comes to being stubborn.” He chuckled. “Let’s get you to bed.”

“Finallyyyy,” she giggled as they walked out of the room and headed to the exit.

The way up to the penthouse was.. eventful, to say the least. All her co-workers on the way cheered for her as she waved like royals do during parades. She found it funny, though also heart-warming. To be loved by everyone she worked with. Not many people had that and she considered herself to be extremely lucky.

Once in her room, she thanked Bruce and told him she needed to change and shower before she got into bed. He agreed to wait in the living room while she did that, because while they had FRIDAY to keep an eye for her, Pepper had asked him to keep her company. She used to do this with Tony whenever he got himself a massive injury. Constantly being around despite having a capable AI keeping an electronic eye on things. Emily found it endearing, but she knew she would grow tired of it pretty soon if Pepper had to babysit her. She’ll deal with it when it happens, but for now she was going to take a quick shower, then lay down to rest. She was grateful to see a shower cap on the sink waiting for her. Pepper always thought of everything. She put the walker next to the shower cabin, took off her clothes and out on the shower cap before turning the warm water on. Hugo kept watch at the bathroom door, in case he was needed. Emily always wondered what type of trainings military dogs went through to make Hugo so intuitive like this. Or maybe he was just that special? Yeah, maybe that was the case. She couldn’t have asked for a better companion.

Once finished with shower and dressed, she climbed into bed and pulled the duvet up to her waist. “FRIDAY, please inform Bruce that he can come in if he wants to.” She told the AI, which in turn responded with “Of course, Miss Green.”

Soon enough, Bruce walked in with two mugs in hand. “I made you some tea.” He said, handing her a mug, which she took, nodding her thanks and he sat on the edge of her bed. “Nice bed, by the way.”

“Thanks,” she took a sip of her tea. “Got it years ago at a thrift store, actually.” She looked fondly at the metal bedframe. There was nothing special about it. A simple metal frame topped with a memory foam mattress, cotton bedsheets, goose feather pillows and a duvet with a tropical cover. She preferred the metal frame because it made it easier for her to wrap ornament light cables around it whenever she felt like decorating her bedroom for that extra cosy feel she kept seeing online. But at the base of it all, her bed was all she needed for a good night’s sleep. She didn’t even know why it was that way, but she didn’t mind it at all.

Bruce stayed for a while with her, talking about the latest project he was working on. Emily was listening attentively as he went on about some equations. At some point she had fallen asleep, her empty cup resting on her side. Once Bruce noticed it, he decided it was time to leave and let her rest. He picked up the cup and went to leave while Hugo made himself more comfortable next to Emily. He would spend the rest of the time in the living area waiting for Pepper. She had kindly asked him to not leave Emily alone until she was done with the call she was having with the people from Malibu. While Emily was doing fine, he could understand Pepper’s concern for her cousin. So he didn’t mind. Not that he had anything better to do at the moment. The only other thing on his mind was a certain God of Mischief a few floors down in this very same building. He wondered when Thor would finally show up and how he would react to all of this. It’s been almost a month since Loki was brought in, apparently on the same day they defeated Thanos. Had Thor known about it he wouldn’t have left with the Guardians. That got Bruce thinking. Should he tell Valkyrie that Loki was here? No. Thor needs to be the first to know, before anyone else. They owed him that much. Bruce was also surprised that SHIELD wasn’t all over this. Something wasn’t right. Although Pepper had mentioned that Captain Marvel is the one who brought him in, which meant Fury probably knew about it as well. Though Fury was no longer active under SHIELD, he was still pretty close with his former agents. Sighing, Bruce decided to let it go for the time being. Once everyone found out Loki was here it was going to turn into a big mess anyway. So it was best to enjoy the peace while it lasted.

It took Pepper only another hour to be done with the call for Malibu. Mentally cursing the situation, she instructed her assistant to hold all calls for the rest of the day. She’ll get back to those tomorrow. With a few more instructions concerning Emily moving in with her for the upcoming week and the necessity for Pepper to have some free time scheduled to take care of her cousin, she finally turned off her computer and headed towards the elevators to go to the penthouse. “Take me home, FRIDAY” she addressed the AI as she stepped into the private elevator. The AI did as requested and soon Pepper was walking into the living area of the penthouse where Bruce was watching TV.

“Hey Pep,” Bruce said when he saw her walk out of the elevator.

“Hey Bruce, how is she?” she took off her shoes but kept them in her hand as she walked in.

“Asleep. She’s constantly tired, but at least she’s resting. I just wish she could take some painkillers for the headache.” He replied.

“Yeah, she can be pretty stubborn about those.” Pepper sighed. “Listen, I’ll go get changed. Took the rest of the day off. Feel like joining me for a late lunch after?”

“I could eat.” Bruce said with a warm smile. Pepper smiled back and went to her room to change into more comfortable clothes.

Bruce had gone to his lab after the afternoon snack they had together, so Pepper spent the rest of the day checking up on Emily and lounging in the living area. Emily slept through the day and through the night. Waking up only a couple of times to go to the bathroom and when Pepper woke her up to have dinner. During dinner, Emily wondered why she was feeling so tired and at some point Pepper suggested to call doctor Baker, but Emily refused. She didn’t think it was necessary and that with a good sleep she would be fine the next day. Pepper being Pepper, she agreed, but later sent a message to the doctor to come check up on Emily in the morning under the guise of being a ‘routine check’. Why did she always end up with stubborn family members?

-*-*-*-*-*-

A few floors down, in the intensive care unit, Loki opened his eyes and looked around. He was still in the same room, but something felt different. He felt.. warmth. He never felt warmth, especially not in his Jotun form. He sat up slowly and looked at his hand. It was pale. He felt his heart skip a beat at the thought. Lifting the covers off his legs, yep, pale too. Stomach? Also pale. He let out a relieved sigh and laughed. This was good. This was very good. He closed his eyes and called his seiðr. A wide grin appeared on his face as he felt the warmth spread through his body. Oh this was incredibly good! Although, something felt off, which immediately wiped the smile off his face. The seiðr felt trapped in a way. He couldn’t pinpoint how exactly, but it didn’t feel whole. Best way was to try and heal himself. Starting with his muscles. He hadn’t gotten off the bed for a long time so his muscles were weakened from lack of use. Pushing the covers aside, he placed his palm on one thigh and tried summoning a healing spell. Other than a green glow appearing under his palm, nothing happened. He must have made a mistake, though when it came to his abilities, he rarely made mistakes. Almost never. And the healing spell he was attempting was a very simple one. Which made it even more confusing as to why he couldn’t use his powers, yet he was in his Aesir form. To test another thought, he closed his eyes and focused on summoning his Jotun form. To his surprise, it worked. Another theory to test.. he summoned ice at his fingertips. Nothing happened. Frustrated, Loki slumped back on the bed and turned to his side. His magic was partially back and apparently only allowing him to change his skin color. This sucked. He will have to figure out what was wrong with him and very soon. The lack of magic left him vulnerable and he hated it. The only consolation was that he could finally wear his Aesir form, which was a big relief. He changed back to his Aesir form and before he let sleep consume him, he hoped that his magic would be restored by the next day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Changed the rating to M just to be on the safe side.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the comments and kudos! They're always appreciated!

The next day started with a breakfast with Pepper, proceeded with lunch with Pepper, afternoon snack with Pepper. Pepper all day long. While Emily appreciated the love, she couldn’t handle the mothering that much. She only refrained from saying something sooner because she knew how important this was for Pepper. With Morgan spending a couple of weeks with her maternal grandparents, Pepper was all alone working her ass off at the Stark Tower. It made Emily feel like a pet project of some sort, but it was for her cousin, so it was okay. But at the same time Emily felt like she would soon suffocate. Since she didn’t know how to bring it up without hurting Pepper’s feelings (usually she was always to the point, but this was different) she decided to just suck it up and let herself be pampered for a bit. But only for a short time... hopefully. Her mind kept drifting to her patient. She hadn’t heard from Jess since yesterday morning and Pepper kept telling her she should focus on getting better so she could check on him herself. If only she could go down to visit him. She wondered if he was awake and if so, how was he feeling. Was he informed on what happened? Was his heart behaving? She dreaded another cardiac arrest. What if they couldn’t save him this time? What about Thor? What would he say or do when he found out his brother is here? There were a lot of thoughts roaming her mind which caused a slight headache. Thankfully that didn’t last long because mother goose, aka Pepper, walked into her room with a bowl full of pre-cut fruit.

“Thought we could have another snack before dinner time.” She said, placing the bowl on the nightstand and sitting at the edge of the bed.

“At this rate by the end of the week I’m going to gain so much weight I won’t fit my car!” Emily laughed.

“Right, because fruit makes you fat.” Pepper laughed.

“You know what I mean,” Emily gave her a warm smile. “But thanks anyway, Pep. I really appreciate the care.”

“No one else at the moment to care for.” Pepper’s smile was warm, but Emily could see a hint of sadness in her eyes. Tony’s passing was still too fresh and Emily could not even begin to imagine how Pepper felt.

“I am happily providing that for you at the moment.” Emily said, leaning forward with arms open, asking for a hug. Pepper leaning in and wrapped her arms around her cousin’s waist. “Thank you for taking care of me, Pep.” Emily whispered.

“My pleasure, Em.” Pepper replied. After breaking the hug, she picked up the fruit bowl and placed it in Emily’s lap. “Fruit time. Feel like watching something?”

“Let’s check what’s new on Netflix.” Emily grabbed the fruit bowl with one hand and reached for the remote on the night stand with the other. Pepper kicked her shoes off and climbed on the bed, going to sit next to Emily.

There was nothing interesting enough on Netflix, so Emily suggested they rewatch Outlander and Pepper agreed. Neither of them could get bored of watching that show. Hot Scottish men and the Scottish highlands, a captivating story with a strong woman lead. What’s not to love?

After the episode finished, Pepper got off the bed and grabbed the now empty fruit bowl to take it to the kitchen. FRIDAY chose that moment to speak. “Mrs. Stark, you have a phonecall from China.”

Pepper hung her head as she sighed. “Damn it.” She mumbled then raised her head. “I’ll take it in the home office, FRIDAY.” Then she turned to Emily, “dinner after this?”

“Sure. I’ll go walk a bit to stretch the legs.” Emily said, getting off the bed. She was glad she wasn’t feeling dizzy anymore, which meant no more walker. Though Pepper handed her a walking cane, which she took, rolling her eyes.

“It’s just in case.” Pepper said and went to take the call from her home office.

Emily rolled the cane in her hands, decided there was no harm in bringing it along and motioned for Hugo to join her. The dog jumped from his spot near the bed and followed her out.

She got into the elevator and pressed the button for floor where the medical facility was located. She knew if she told Pepper she was coming here, she would have gotten some resistance because she was supposed to not think of this and wait until fully recovered. Well, in her humble opinion, she was very well recovered, thank you very much. A slight headache and a bandage around the head was not going to stop her from going wherever she wanted.

Once there, she walked towards the ICU, with Hugo close to her side. She got to Loki’s room, knocked and walked in. She was surprised to see the room empty. Did something happen or was he transferred to a ward already? She turned around, heading back to the reception to ask.

Once she got the room number, and talked to a couple of co-workers who were happy to see her well enough to be abandoning her bed rest, she headed towards the room where Loki had been transferred to. Upon finding it, she knocked softly and walked in.

“Good even-..” Her greeting was cut off by the image before her. It was someone else in the room and not Loki. Loki had blue skin, the patient in this room had a pale, porcelain skin. Though also long black hair. Talk about coincidences. But this wasn’t Loki. She must have walked into the wrong room. “I’m sorry, I was visiting someone else. I must have gotten the room number wrong.” She said and turned to leave. Though Hugo simply ran towards the bed and hopped on top, nudging Loki’s chin with his nose and then settling next to him.

Loki looked at her, concern written all over his face at the sight of the bandage wrapped around her head and the cane in her hand. “Emily..”

She turned and narrowed her eyes. That was Loki’s voice, but it was not Loki talking. And Hugo was being friendly with this guy. “You do sound like the person I was looking for.” She said, suspicion evident in her voice.

Loki chuckled. “It is I, Loki.” He raised a hand and let it turn blue until the wrist, then turned it back to normal. “This is how I usually look like. When I’m not dying, that is.”

“Oh wow..” was all the reaction Emily could come up with. The blue hand confirmed to her that it was Loki, but holy marbles did he look different with a pale skin. Well, technically he had the same facial features, only less blue and more white. His eyes were an emerald shade of green instead of ruby red. Only the hair was exactly the same shoulder length jet black. It took her a moment to recover from the shock and a big smile formed on her face. “You look different! I mean, now that I look at you I can see the resemblance, but the color change makes you look different!” she didn’t even know why she was that excited, but it didn’t matter. Loki was fine and apparently when he’s not dying he’s not blue. File that under what to look for when Loki is dying.

He chuckled. “Thanks, I guess?” he smiled, and scratched behind Hugo’s ear. The dog seemed happy to be sitting next to him as he wagged his tale.

Emily pulled a chair close to the bed and sat down on it, placing the cane on the floor next to her feet. “So you’re feeling well enough by now that they transferred you to this room. That’s good!”

“Apparently.” He nodded. “Though if I had..” No, no matter how harmless she seems, he shouldn’t tell her yet that he doesn’t have his magic. Too risky. “If I had my special herbs and healing stones,” he recovered quickly, “I could have made some potions to speed up the healing and recovery.”

“Wow, that sounds like something straight from the Harry Potter books.” Emily said, excitement in her eyes.

“I have absolutely no idea who that is.” Loki replied.

“I’ll see if I can get you the first book to read, if you're interested of course.” She said and Loki simply nodded. “It’s considered a children’s book, but adults read them as well and it’s an interesting story.” She had her own precious collection of the book series, and made sure Morgan gets her own copies as well. It was her Christmas present last year, so she knew there was a whole set somewhere at the penthouse that Loki could borrow. She’ll ask Pepper later.

“Your colleague told me what happened yesterday.” Loki suddenly said, his face dark with guilt. “I’m terribly sorry.” He looked onto his lap.

“Don’t worry about it.” she waved a hand. “It comes with the job description.” Downplaying things was a talent of hers.

“She also told me if it weren’t for you, I would not be alive right now. For that I thank you. I am indebted to you.” He looked at her. For once in a very long time, he was being sincere.

Emily smiled. “I was just doing my job.”

“Still, I am forever grateful.”

They sat in silence for what seemed to be a few minutes. Each looking into their own lap, not knowing what to say or talk about. The silence was interrupted when the door opened and a nurse walked in with dinner.

“I should get going.” Emily said as she stood up. “Pepper is probably wondering where I am and I don’t want her to worry.”

Loki had heard the name Pepper before. Probably from Thor at some point when he told him about the Avengers. She was Stark’s assistant and later lover. Makes sense that she would be in this building.

“Will I see you tomorrow?” he asked.

“Can’t promise anything, but if I manage to sneak away from my babysitter, you just might.” Emily grinned.

“Well, good luck then.” Loki mirrored the grin. A mischievous woman, nice.

Emily grabbed her walking cane and called for Hugo to join her. The dog ran to her side instantly and they walked out together. Loki stared at them for a while before his attention was drawn to the dinner being laid before him on the overbed table. He mumbled his thanks to the nurse and started eating. He was hoping to see Emily the next day.

-*-*-*-*-*-

Emily and Hugo walked out of the elevator the moment Pepper got out of her home office. Upon spotting the two, she rushed to them and put an arm around Emily’s back for support. “Emily you shouldn’t be roaming the whole building this soon!” Of course Pepper knew she had gone for a walk outside the penthouse. FRIDAY must have alerted her.

“Pep, I promise you I’m feeling fine.” Emily loved how much care Pepper had in her, though she never liked causing her pain or worry. “I wouldn’t have gotten out of bed if I didn’t think I can handle it.” She leaned against Pepper’s shoulder and have her a warm smile, which Pepper returned.

“Okay, food should be arriving any moment now. I ordered us sushi.”

“Ooh tasty! Edamame with hot sesame sauce?”

“Of course! Who do you take me for?” They both laughed.

Dinner arrived twenty minutes later and the two women were immediately going through the boxes and arranging everything on the dinner table. Pepper grabbed some plates and glasses from the kitchen, while Emily filled Hugo’s food bowl with his dinner. Said bowl was emptied before they could even begin with their own food.

“Was he starving?” Pepper asked as she put a few pieces of sushi onto her plate.

“Nah, it’s just what he does. I’m guessing it’s a military thing. Eat fast and always be ready. Should ask Rhodey at some point.” Emily replied, grabbing some rolls herself.

Pepper just nodded at that as she ate. After swallowing her food she turned to Emily. “So, I’m guessing your little walk earlier lead you to Loki?”

Emily ducked her head. “Kind of?” she chuckled nervously. She hoped there would be able to avoid a scolding, but she got caught.

“How’s he doing?” Pepper kept her gaze at her food, deciding which roll to pick.

Okay, that was not what she was expecting. “Uhmm.. fine, I guess. Or at least better. He’s been transferred to a private ward and he’s not blue anymore.”

“Is that so?” She grabbed a California roll and put it on her plate.

“Yep.” Emily nodded, dipping a kappamaki in soy sauce before bringing it to her mouth. “If I got it correctly, he turns blue when he’s really sick.” She put the roll in her mouth and started chewing, her attention on the platter before her, trying to decide which kind to grab next.

Pepper was silent for a moment. She was thinking about what Bruce had told her about Loki from the last time he had seen him. Her thoughts took her way back to when Tony was having nightmares after of the attack on New York. A heavy feeling sat on her heart upon remembering Tony, so she took a deep breath and focused on her food. 

They continued chatting while eating dinner, followed by edamame in front of the TV and non-alcoholic drinks. They both enjoyed calm evenings like this. Nothing to worry about. No work to be distracted from. Morgan staying with her grandparents. At the end of the week Pepper had planned on spending the weekend with her parents before bringing Morgan back with her. Things were good with the company. She could give her assistants a few extra tasks so she and Morgan could go back to their lakeside home. Bruce and the other Avengers, old and new, can hold the forte if Loki decided to do something undesirable. In which case Morgan needed to be as far away as possible. It was something to consider.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki has problems with staying in bed. Carol is back!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudo's and comments! They brighten my day :)

Loki woke up to the sounds of birds chirping. He hadn’t heard those for a long time and it caused warmth spread through his veins. He remembered the days he would wake up in his chambers in Asgard. Always greeted by the birds chirping at the first signs of dawn. He sighed at the heavy feeling in his chest. He missed those days. He even missed Asgard, despite all the horrible memories associated with it. For other than those memories he had also good memories of his past home. Taking walks with his mother, the long evenings with her. Going to battles with Thor or just pestering him. He even missed Odin, despite his lack of parenting skills. His thoughts kept going back to Thor. Did he survive Thanos’ attack? If so, where was he? Did he know about him being alive? Maybe Banner would know. He decided to ask for Banner the next time a nurse came in. Hopefully the Hulk wouldn’t make an appearance like he did the last time. But he needed to know about Thor and he was willing to risk being confronted by the Hulk.

Being bedridden was exhausting. His legs felt too heavy for him to move. He tried flexing his feet and was met with resistance. He sat up and stretched his hand over his legs and focused on a heeling spell. His palm glowed green for a second, causing his heart to flutter in hope, but it soon faded and left him with yet another sinking feeling in his chest. Something was wrong with his magic. He could conceal his Jotun skin, but apparently that was the only thing his seiðr allowed him to do. Huffing at the situation, he let himself fall back onto the bed and closed his eyes. The tube going between his legs felt foreign. He needed it out, but apparently that was the only way for him to rid his body from natural fluids without soiling the bed. Letting out an aggravated growl, he pulled the covers over his face. He will be damned if he let this go one much longer. He needed to get moving as soon as possible. Thank the Norns Thor wasn’t here. What would he say if he saw his brother, a prince of Asgard, the lawful heir of Jotunheim, bedridden with a sack of bodily fluids hanging from him? If he was still alive, that is. Loki wouldn’t know. He didn’t want to add salt to the wound by thinking about Thor. He was in pain enough by just being stranded on Midgard, broken and humiliated, with no one to call friend or family.

His mind drifted to Emily. Since he had awakened the first time, she was incredibly friendly with him. Caring, even. Technically that was within her job description, what with being a healer and all. Though she didn’t have to come visit him the day before, but she did. That was incredibly nice of her. Even he could admit to that. In addition, he owed her for saving his life. When the other healers had given up on him, she was too stubborn to let him go. A small smile appeared on his face. She had saved his life. He will make sure to thank her again. Also to thank her dog. Somehow the canine’s presence was soothing. He wondered whether the animal was magical or was it just a Midgardian breed thing. He might find out at some point. For the time being, he needs to get off the bed.

Pushing the covers off his face, he reached for the call button. The nurse from the day before told him what it’s for. Thankfully he could remember it, though it was too simple to forget. A few minutes later a nurse came in, carrying a tray that held a steaming cup and what seemed like bread.

“Good morning, Sir.” She chirped, smiling merrily at him. “Got you some tea and a little breakfast.”

“Thank you.” He mumbled, sitting up and straightening the covers over his lap.

The nurse placed the tray on the overbed table and pulled it close to him. “Try to eat the bread very slowly, since your stomach might still be adjusting to food after such a long time.” She arranged the plastic utensils in front him and continued without missing a beat, “you have some cream cheese, olives, sliced chicken meat.” She pointed at the items as she named them. “I’ll come back with a snack.” She smiled and turned to leave.

“Wait..” Loki called after her, she stopped and turned back. “First of all, thank you for this,” he pointed at the food. “And secondly, I wish to get off the bed.”

She smiled politely. “I will inform the doctor of your wish.” And with that, she left the room.

Loki found her a bit odd. Not as warm as Emily, or her two healer friends. They were called nurses here, apparently. Peculiar, in Loki’s opinion. They nursed people back to health, so it made sense. He grabbed a piece of bread and took a small bite. He let out a little moan of satisfaction at the taste of it. Bread in Midgard was unexpectedly delicious!

After he was done with breakfast, Loki pushed the table away and lay down again. That was the only thing he could do these days. He brought his hand up, tried conjuring something.. anything, but nothing happened. Not even a glow like the attempted-and-failed healing spell produced. He groaned and dropped his forearm over his eyes. This was frustrating beyond limits. He couldn’t understand what had gone wrong. Why his magic refused to cooperate. Rage was building within him up as he sat up and pushed the overbed table further away, causing the tray holding the empty cup and plate of his breakfast to fly off and to the ground with a loud clank. That seemed to piss him off even further. He’d had enough of this humiliation. 

Pulling the covers off his legs, his eyes fixated on the tube going between his legs. That needed to go. He grabbed it and started pulling at it aggressively, causing pain to shoot up his nether regions and making him hiss. How did they attach this to his person, he had no idea. Didn’t care to know. He wanted it out of him. He pulled again and was met with the same resistance and pain. Cursing loudly, he gritted his teeth and decided on another approach. He started pulling the tube slowly, but the pain didn’t become any less. His breath was becoming heavier by the second. Those wretched Midgardians have done something to him while he was down. It must have been their retaliation for the invasion he led a few years back. If he ever found out who did this to him, he will make sure they beg for death. 

He let out a loud, agitated scream before he dropped back on the bed, arms crossed over his face as he gritted his teeth. He would be able to pull it out completely. He could take the pain, as he had endured worse than this in the past. The problem was his magic wasn’t cooperating and he didn’t want to risk any damage to this particular area of his body. At this point he was beyond pissed. He was about to start plotting Midgard’s demise when he heard a soft knock on the door, followed by a combination of several steps and a soft click getting closer. 

Keeping one arm over his face, he moved the other to search for the cover and pull it over his waist. When he couldn’t find the cover, he let out an irritated sigh and dropped his arm to his side. To hell with whoever it was. He was not in the mood for visitors.

A light sheet was draped over his legs and up to his waist, accompanied by a familiar whimper from a certain canine. Dropping the arm he had over his face, Loki sat up, his cheeks burning at the state he greeted the person who cared for his wellbeing. “Emily..”

“Good morning,” Emily greeted with a warm smile. “Did we come at an inconvenient time?” She pulled a chair close and sat down, Hugo sitting at her side.

“Uhm..” he looked down to his lap, his hair falling over his face and covering his embarrassment. Or at least, he hoped it would. “My apologies.”

“No need to apologize. I’ve had people do worse things than throwing plates or bed covers off.”

He slowly looked up to meet her gaze. She was still smiling. “Like what?” he was curious for some reason.

“One time I had that pole,” she pointed at the one holding the IV bag, “thrown at me just because I wouldn’t give them more pain killers. Mind you, I had already given them the maximum allowed dosage and any more of that would have caused unwanted issues.” She chuckled. “Another held a gun to my head when I tried to adjust the IV tubes on their arm.”

Loki’s eyebrows shot up. “What kind of creatures are those to treat their healers that way?” He had been severely injured several times throughout his past life, courtesy of battles accompanying Thor and his friends. He had never threatened the healers or thrown things at them no matter how much in pain he was. That was just disrespectful and wrong.

“The Avengers.” She grinned, and shrugged. “After the first couple of times it happened, I figured that’s normal for them. I get to tease them about it now, so it’s fine. Well, at least one of them..” Her smile dropped a little.

If Loki’s eyebrows could go any higher, they would have reached the ceiling. He figured the one holding a gun to Emily’s head must have been the Widow. Though why one of them? Did the Avengers disband? He was tempted to ask, but he decided against it for the time being. He had more pressing matters at hand. Or in his case, between his legs.

“Nurse Martha said you wish to leave the bed.” Emily said, interrupting his thoughts. She was out on a short walk with Hugo, who was lounging next to her feet right now, when she had bumped into her co-worker who immediately started venting about the patient she saved just because she was too stubborn.

“I do. I also wish to have this abomination out of me.” He motioned towards the tube that went from between his legs towards the other side of the bed.

“I see.” She nodded, putting on a poker face, “I also noticed that you tried pulling it out yourself.”

Loki tilted his head. How could she know? She wasn’t in the room then.

“Drops of blood on your hospital gown.” She said with a knowing smirk. “Good thing you stopped in time.” She leaned back on the chair and crossed her legs. “Otherwise..”

“Please stop..” he sighed, his cheeks warm with embarrassment. He also didn’t want to hear what would have happened in case it was something along the lines of his dick suddenly falling off or something similar. He shuddered at the thought. “Yes, I tried taking it off and it didn’t work. But.. can it be removed?”

Emily observed him for a moment. She had dealt with difficult patients, impatient patients, you name it. Loki wasn’t any different from them. Well, he was definitely different. Merely by the fact that he was an alien and her other patients were only human. But when it came to emotions and processing the fact of being out of commission for a while? They were all the same.

A big smile formed on her face and she nodded. “Definitely. Though I’d advise waiting a bit until you can walk on your own. At least short distances, like to the bathroom, for example.”

Loki groaned in frustration as he dropped back onto the mattress. Emily chuckled at that. “Okay, how about this: the doctor has scheduled you to start physical therapy in a few days, once he’s sure you can handle it, that is.”

“I can.” He said quickly, looking at her with hopeful eyes.

“I know you can.” She lifted her chin as she smirked. Something she did we her hero patients to give them a boost of confidence. It seemed to work, as Loki returned the smirk with one of his own. “So we’ll start it right after lunch in a couple of hours. What say you?”

“I can hardly wait.” Loki gave her a genuine smile.

-*-*-*-*-*-

The doors to the office opened as Carol Danvers walked in, Pepper getting up from behind her desk to greet her with a hug. “Welcome back, Carol.”

“Thanks, Pepper. How are things around here?” she sat down on the couch Pepper had motioned for her to take a seat at.

“Pretty eventful, if you ask me.” Pepper sat down on the armchair across from Carol.

“Nick didn’t tell me about any attacks.” Carol was confused for a moment.

“Because there were none. The events happened here, actually.” Pepper chuckled. “Would you like a drink first before I tell you? Coffee, maybe?”

“Ooh I like the cappuccino you have around here.” Carol beamed at her.

“FRIDAY, two cappuccinos please.” Pepper addressed the AI.

“Right away, Mrs. Stark.” Came the response. Not five minutes later, Pepper’s assistant came in with said beverages, placed them on the coffee table between the two women and left. Pepper requested FRIDAY to not let them be disturbed for any reason. There was so much to tell Carol, and the whole thing was to be kept under the radar for the time being. 

“So, your blue friend has awakened, and you will never guess who he is.” Pepper started.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Comments are always appreciated <3


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the kudos and comments!

Lunch consisted of mashed potatoes, fresh tomatoes and some yogurt. Loki enjoyed the small meals he had gotten here so far. The cook must have been very proficient in their field of work. He made a mental note to mention it to Emily when she comes later. This type of food had definitely earned his compliments.

True to her word, Emily came back with Hugo tailing along not too long after lunch time. She was dressed in pastel pink sweatpants and a plain white t-shirt, with a pastel pink blazer over it. She leaned her cane against the wall and walked towards the cabinet, grabbing a towel and then walked to Loki’s bed.

“Aren’t you supposed to use that at all times?” he asked, tilting his head questioningly.

“Only to please the ones who want me to use it. Also when I walk a longer distance than this here.” She waved a hand from wall to bed, indicating the small distance.

“I see.” Loki nodded. He wasn’t sure he liked her answer. He still felt guilty for causing her the head injury. If only he had his magic, he could heal her head in an instant and she could take off the bandage. For a split second he wondered how it would feel to run his hand through her hair, but he immediately shook the thought away. That felt inappropriate. Although.. He watched silently as she moved the covers off of one leg, lifting said leg and pulling the cover flat underneath so it wasn’t in the way. Then grabbed the towel and placed it on top of it before bringing Loki’s leg down. Her touch was so gentle yet precise, Loki thought- no, he _knew_ she was a master of her craft. She did revive him, after all.

“Lay down.” She prompted and sat down next to him. Loki did as asked, his eyes fixated on her. “This will not hurt, of course.” Always safe to start with planting a comforting thought. “I will be massaging your leg muscles for a few minutes. After that we’ll do some stretching.” She took out a small pack out of the pocket of her blazer, along with a small clear bottle filled with what seemed to be a yellow substance. She then proceeded with taking off her blazer and placing it neatly behind her so it’s out of the way. “I will be using gloves,” she held the small pack for him to see, “and a special massage oil. It’s really good for the muscles. Got it from Pepper. Much better than the ones here at the facility.” She showed him the bottle before she put it next to her thigh and picked up the small pack that held the gloves. Loki simply watched silently. He wasn’t a stranger to massages, though he had never gotten one with gloved hands. Maybe it was a Midgardian thing?

After putting the gloves on, she gave him a little smile and poured a small amount of oil into her palm, capped the bottle with a trained one hand and put it aside. She spread the oil over Loki’s leg, starting at the ankle and up until the knee. She then proceeded with massaging the calf muscles starting again at the ankle and gradually moving up. Loki let his head drop back on the pillow and closed his eyes. Sighing at the blissful feeling the massage was giving him. He hasn’t gotten a massage for several years and didn’t know how much he missed it up until this moment. Emily’s hands worked their magic around his calves, and once she was satisfied with her work, she grabbed the bottle of oil and poured a bit more into her palm and set the bottle aside. She moved up his leg, kneading the muscles with her thumbs in small circles starting at the knee and slowly moving up.

When she was massaging the upper half of his thigh, Loki let out a satisfied moan. Emily didn’t even try to hide the smirk that pulled at her lips. That’s how good she was. Though she could feel Loki’s muscles tense under her fingertips, which prompted her to look at him and was met by a shocked pair of green eyes and a palm covering his mouth.

“I’m sorry.” He quickly said from behind his palm.

“Don’t worry about it.” Emily said and continued the massage. Her proud smirk still in place. Loki covered his eyes with his forearm and clenched his jaws. He shouldn’t let that happen again. Sensing he was tense, Emily gently patted his thigh. “Can you try to relax? It would help me here.” She said softly. Loki nodded and took in a deep breath, bringing his arm down to his side, but keeping his eyes closed. Once she felt the muscles under her fingers loosen up again, Emily mumbled a soft thanks and continued the massage.

Once done, she took the gloves off and got off the bed and went to toss them in the bin and headed to the cabinet to get a couple of towels, then came back to the bed. She placed one of the towels aside and used the other one to wipe the excess oil from Loki’s leg. She then moved to the other side of the bed, grabbed a fresh pack of gloves out of her blazer pocket and did the same procedure with the other leg. Once done, she wiped the excess oil from that leg as well. She dropped the used towels on top of a chair, grabbed the one towel she has set aside and placed it over her chest and shoulder. Then she got up with one leg on the bed, the other still on the floor, supporting her weight. “Now let’s stretch, but first..” She grabbed his leg and put his foot against her towelled shoulder. Loki sat up, leaning on his elbows and staring at her. “I need you to push against my shoulder as I push against you. I want to see how much strength there is before we start.”

Loki did as asked. He was shocked at how a simple task felt strenuous. Emily didn’t say anything, only prompting him to repeat the motion a few times. Then she brought his leg down to the mattress and hop off of it herself with a soft thud. There was the slightest resistance in Loki’s leg, which she took as a good sign. She was no physical therapist, nor an orthopaedist, but she knew enough to enable her to help as much as possible without causing any damage. After doing the same with the other leg, she brought it down on the bed and she stood up. “Alright, good news is, you will gain muscle strength soon enough.” She said, deciding to sit again on the edge of the bed and closed her eyes for a bit. She felt dizzy again. Hugo jumped from his spot and came to her side, putting a paw over her thigh.

“Are you alright?” Loki sat up.

She nodded, “just dizzy all of a sudden.” She opened her eyes and smiled at him. 

“You have done so much already, please rest.” Loki said, concern showing in his voice.

Emily sighed. “I’m afraid I’ll have to do that. But I’ll be back after to get that stretching done.” The warm smile never left her face. Loki wondered how she managed it.

“Thank you for the massage. It was good.” He mirrored her smile and she simply nodded in response.

“Hugo, cane.” She pointed to the cane that was resting against the wall and the dog promptly brought it to her. Leaning her weight on it, she stood up, only to sit back down on the bed as another wave of dizziness hit her. Instinctively Loki reached for her and grabbed her arm, attempting to help. “Okay, this is new.” She chuckled nervously.

“Do you need to lay down, maybe?”

She shook her head. “I need my bed for that to work.” 

Loki was still holding her arm at that point, he wasn’t sure if he should let go or not. He decided on the latter, just in case.

Emily looked at the ceiling and scrunched her nose. She didn’t like doing this and she new she was about to get a scolding from Pepper once she was back at the penthouse. “FRIDAY, please have someone bring me a wheelchair to take me to the penthouse.”

“Immediately, Miss Green.” The AI responded.

Loki looked at the ceiling, trying to find this Friday Emily had just spoken to. Noticing his confusion, she patted his hand over her arm. “FRIDAY is Tony’s AI. Artificial intelligence.”

“I thought the one Stark had was a male by the name Jarvis?”

“Ohhhh that was several years ago.”

“Did Stark get bored of having a male companion?” he smirked.

Emily laughed at that. “Oh not at all. Though Tony would have gotten a kick out of that remark.”

“Where is Stark anyway? I would have expected him to show up the moment I opened my eyes.”

Emily’s smile faded into a sad one and she looked onto her lap. “He’s gone.”

“Gone where?” Loki tilted his head, studying Emily’s face. Realization hit him instantly. “No.” He whispered and she nodded. He let go of her arm just to bring his hand to cover his mouth as he was shocked for a moment. Who was powerful enough to take out the infamous Iron Man? “How long ago?”

“A little over a month. The day you arrived here, in fact.” She was about to tell him what had happened when the door opened and Jess walked in, pushing a wheel chair ahead of her.

“Em, is everything alright?” she asked, rushing to her friend’s side.

“I’m fine. Got a little dizzy and didn’t want to risk anything by walking back to the penthouse, so I asked for help. I’m glad it’s you who came.”

“Alright, off to bed you go.” Jess patted her shoulder and proceeded to help her get up. 

Emily sat down on the wheel chair and turned to Loki. “I’ll tell you about it next time I see you.”

“Thank you,” he said with a nod. “For everything.”

“No problem.” She smiled. “See you later.” And with that Jess pushed the chair and Hugo joined them out of the room.

Loki dropped back onto the mattress, looking at the ceiling. If this FRIDAY was anything like Jarvis, he could ask her about what happened to Iron Man. But Emily said she’ll tell him about it the next time she came over. He hoped it would be soon, though he preferred her to take her time to rest. At the same time he was too eager to find out what had changed in the time he wasn’t around. Iron Man was dead? That was hard to believe.

-*-*-*-*-*-

“Just what were you thinking, missy?” Jess asked as she pushed the wheelchair into the elevator leading to the penthouse.

“That I’m well enough to resume normal daily activities?” Emily leaned her elbow on the armrest of the wheelchair, leaning her cheek onto her palm.

“Good thing you have me to save your ass when needed.” Jess grinned. She wasn’t really scolding her friend. She knew how Emily functioned when sick, which was basically not following any orders or instructions and doing her own thing. So going around with a concussion wasn’t going to be any different.

“You’re the best.” Emily turned her head to look at Jess and give her a big smile.

“I know.” Jess smiled back.

Once back at the penthouse, they were greeted by Pepper who rushed to kneel in front of the wheelchair. “Em, what happened? Are you okay?” She cupped Emily’s face in her palms.

Pepper had worry written all over her face. Her eyes were red and slightly puffy, she must have been crying again, Emily noticed. She always noticed, no matter how well Pepper hid it from everyone else and pretended that everything was fine. Nothing was fine in Pepper’s world. She was still mourning her loss. Emily knew that and there was nothing she could do about it other than just being at Pepper’s side and offering support. She brought her hands to cover Pepper’s and gave her cousin a warm smile. “I’m fine, Pep.” She talked in a hushed tone. “I felt a bit dizzy and decided to ask for help instead of walking back. But I’m fine. I promise.”

Pepper nodded, leaning forward and wrapping her arms around Emily, hugging her tightly. Emily returned the hug in silence. Jess moved a bit to be in Emily’s line of sight and motioned at her that she was leaving. Emily mouthed her a ‘thank you’ and smiled as Jess gave her a thumbs up and took the elevator back to the medical facility.

The two women stayed like that for what seemed a few minutes before Pepper pulled back and looked at Emily. “I’m sorry, I was just done talking to Carol and then FRIDAY told me you were being brought back in a wheelchair.. kind of escalated from there.” She chuckled, pointing at her red eyes. She knew Emily had noticed them. Emily always noticed but never said anything, for which Pepper was always grateful. Pepper finally stood up and straightened her skirt.

“It’s okay, Pep.” Emily stood up slowly, keeping her hand on the armrest of the wheelchair for balance. “I’m sorry to have worried you.”

“Nonsense. Now let’s get you horizontal.” Pepper came to her side and offered her arm for Emily to hold or lean on. Emily wrapped her arm around Pepper’s and leaned against her cousin. “Bed or couch?” Pepper asked.

“Bed, and you can go back to Carol or whatever you were doing before.” Emily replied.

“Carol went to talk to Bruce. She’ll be having dinner with us, though. But before that she’ll go see Loki, I think.” Pepper said, opening the door to Emily’s room before they walked in.

“Let’s hope Bruce doesn’t join her then. I think it’s too soon.” When it came to her patients, Emily was pretty defensive about their well being. Knowing how Loki reacted the first time he saw Bruce, she didn’t want that to ever happen again.

As if reading her mind, Pepper nodded. “You should probably be there when the time comes. Ease him into it or something.”

Emily nodded, climbing onto the bed and sitting cross-legged. “You’re right. But that’s for another day. Right now I’ll just lay down and wish for the world to stop spinning.” She grinned.

“Well good luck, then.” Pepper grinned back. “Let me know if you need anything. I’ve got a bit of work to finish and then I’ll be back.”

“I’ll be fine, Pep. I think I’ll nap a bit, or I might harass Morgan via Skype.”

“She’s gone fishing today. Prepare for a long story.” Pepper grinned.

“Ooh looking forward to it! I miss the kid.”

Pepper sighed. “Me too.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I enjoyed writing this chapter.

There was a soft knock on the door, which made Loki sit up and turn to see who it was. A woman with short, blonde hair walked in. She was smiling at him, though Loki couldn’t recall he had met her before. He kept looking at her with no expression on his face. All his senses on high alert, though he was certain if she would attack the only thing he could do with his limited mobility is fall off the bed. Wouldn’t that be a sight to behold..

“Hello,” the woman started, still smiling. “I’m Carol Danvers.” When she didn't get a reaction, she quickly continued, “I’m the one who found you floating in space and brought you here. Pepper told me is was okay to visit now that you’re out of the ICU.”

At that Loki’s shoulders dropped in relief and he finally smiled politely. “Much obliged for your help, Lady Danvers. I’m Loki.. Odinson.” An unfamiliar warm feeling wrapped itself around his heart when he used his last name. Oh how he wished Thor was there right now.

“Nice to finally meet you, Loki Odinson.” Carol said, pulling a chair and sitting down. “How’s Terra treating you so far?”

Loki tilted his head in surprise. “Terra? Midgardians don’t use that name.”

“True,” Carol chuckled, “A slip of the tongue.”

“You’re not Midgardian, then?”

“Human-Kree hybrid, in fact.” Carol leaned back in her seat. “It’s a long story, maybe for another time.”

“Interesting.” Loki mused, “Alright. Another time it is, then.” A human-Kree hybrid was rare, and Loki was looking at one right now. The one who saved him. If he wasn’t adapt in concealing facial expressions, his jaw would have hit the floor right now. But as it stood, he only let the corner of his lips curve into an impressed smirk.

The two conversed about the time Loki has spent at the medical facility, how Carol found him and brought him here before going to join the battle. She told him how they fought Thanos and how they eventually defeated him. Loki was in awe at Stark's sacrifice. Giving away his life to save the universe. He wondered if he would have done the same had he been in his place. Maybe, maybe not. He hoped to never find out. He's had enough dealings with death in his life. She told him about the snap five years ago, how half of the universe population fell victim to it and how five years later the Avengers managed to bring them all back. He wondered if Emily was one of those, making a mental note to ask her at some point. Carol told him that she wasn't among the team that went back in time to retrieve the stones and managed to get all six of them with only one casualty. Loki gasped when she told him how the Soul Stone had been retrieved. Loki had enjoyed his short encounter with the Widow on the hellicarrier during his invasion. A pity she was gone, but she earned his respect for her sacrifice. He listened to Carol talking while his mind went back and forth to Thor, how he was fairing and about his whereabouts. He was surprised and yet not so much upon hearing he was travelling with a group called the Guardians of the Galaxy, leaving New Asgard in the hands of the Valkyrie. Loki wondered how long until she picks up drinking again like she had been doing on Sakaar, though he doubted Midgardian alcohol would have the same effect on her as the Sakaarian ones did.

After an hour or so, Carol got up to leave. “It was nice talking to you, Loki”

“Likewise, Lady Danvers.” Loki inclined his head in appreciation.

“I’ll see you again next time I’m back.”

“Looking forward to it already.”

With that, Carol left the room, heading towards the penthouse. Dinner time was approaching and she was looking forward to some food.

Loki stared at the door closing after her. So much information in such a short time. His mind was buzzing to the point that his hands started shaking. He looked at his hands as he flexed his fingers, trying to calm the shaking a bit, which wasn't really successful. His thoughts kept going back to the time he invaded Midgard. When he was consumed with hate and rage towards Asgard in general and Odin in particular. The day he let himself fall into the Void. The day The Other had found him, used tortured him and in the end used the Mind Stone to get him to do their bidding. Loki knew he was treading a very dangerous territory of guilt. That this all could have been avoided if he hadn't let go on that day. If he hadn't let his emotions cloud his judgement. If he hadn't let himself be captured by The Other. Thanos had promised him a fate worse than death had he failed his mission, which he had, and this feeling must have been it. Loki dropped backwards onto the bed, pulled his pillow from under his head and put it over his face and screamed into it until his throat was sore. Even in death, Thanos managed to break him yet again.

-*-*-*-*-*-

“Hey Thor! You’ve got an email!” Rocket yelled from behind a screen. “It’s from Stark’s wife.” His eyes proceeded to read the email, despite it not being addressed to him. “HOLYSHITTHORGETDOWNHERE!”

Thor came rushing from the communal area with loud thumps and stood next to Rocket, leaning down a bit to look at the screen. The others joined them as well, because of Rocket’s yelling. “What’s wrong, rabbit?” Thor said as he read the email and felt his breath being caught in his throat. “No..”

“Thor.. calm down, buddy.” Rocket started, seeing how tense the Asgardian was, “Thor? Don’t you go zapping my ship now, okay?”

Thor wasn’t listening at that point. His breaths were coming in forced huffs and his eyes turning white as electricity surged from the corners. Loki couldn't do this to him yet again.

“THOR!”

He blinked. Eyes back to sky blue but his heavy breathing didn’t stop. “Can’t be.”

Rocket put a paw over Thor’s forearm, “want us to go check?” he said in a low, careful tone.

“What’s going on here?” Quill asked, moving to stand next to Thor and reading the message. “Wait, didn’t you say Thanos killed your brother?”

“I saw it happen. I was there. I held his body in my arms.” Thor was fighting the tears in his eyes. This couldn’t be true. Loki was dead. He saw it and he could remember it like it was yesterday. Even after 5 years it still felt like a fresh wound refusing to close. “This must be a joke. A very cruel joke.” He practically hissed.

“I am Groot!”

“Yeah, we should go check it out.” Rocket agreed.

“I.. I need to be alone..” Thor said and walked away.

Rocket looked at Thor's retreating figure, shoulders slouched and head hung in despair. “Quill, set course to Terra.” He mumbled under his breath, but Quill heard him and nodded.

“Yeah, even I wouldn't make that kind of a joke. That's just sick, man.” Quill sighed and went to the cockpit. This was going to cost them a job, but at that moment it didn't matter. Their friend and newest teammate was being bullied and he wouldn't stand for it. Despite their constant differences on who was the leader of the group and who was better looking (of course it was him, pfft!), Quill considered Thor a great addition to the team.

-*-*-*-*-*-

The night came to pass and Loki sat in his hospital bed, eyeing the cold dinner on the overbed table. He had no appetite for food, or anything else for that matter. Guilt kept creeping up his veins, making it hard for him to breathe. While one part of his mind told him, tried to convince him that Thanos would have gotten the stones whether he had crossed paths with him or not, another part of him blamed himself for speeding up the process.

He knew there was no point in blaming himself. He knew it wasn't his fault. He was dead at the time, though that didn't stop his mind from wandering towards the possibility whether his presence at the battle would have helped or not. He was probably one of the very few creatures in the Nine Realms who possessed the power to wield the gauntlet, but at this very moment he wasn't even sure if he would have been able to do it. Thor would have probably been able to withstand the power of the stones. After all, he had no attachment to any of them. Loki, on the other hand, was always drawn to the Tesseract and thus, by extension, the Space Stone. Whenever he was around it, it called to him. That's why he couldn't resist taking it from the vault when he went to get Surtur's crown. He should have let it stay there and be destroyed along with the rest of the realm. It was him that assisted Thanos in obtaining all the stones. If only he had left the Tesseract on Asgard. If only..

Loki didn't know when sleep claimed him, for next thing he knew he was waking up to the sound of footsteps and shuffling in the room. He slowly sat up and saw Emily's nurse friend was there, arranging vials on a side table and working on the monitor next to his bed.

“Good morning,” Jess said with a friendly smile. “How did you sleep?”

“Good morning. I..” he paused. He wasn't sure how he managed to fall sleep, let alone to sleep at all. Though his body felt tense. He probably had a nightmare he couldn't remember. Sighing, he ran his hand through his hair. “I slept well, I guess.”

“Good,” Jess grinned. “After breakfast the doctor will be doing his rounds, checking up on you, that is. Then the physical therapist will be coming around ten to evaluate your condition, see if you're ready to start the physical therapy.”

At that Loki perked up. “I'm ready.”

Jess chuckled. “I bet you are. But we will need to see what the therapist has to say.”

Loki nodded, more in acknowledgement than in agreement. He wanted to get off that bed so bad he didn't care if his body was actually ready for it or not.

“Although,” she added, taking the untouched dinner tray off the overbed table and putting the breakfast tray on it instead, she pulled the table close to him. “No matter what the therapist says, first of all you have to eat. You need the proteins. And secondly, Emily can be too impatient sometimes and will be starting the process ahead of time.”

It was Loki's turn to chuckle. “She did start yesterday.”

“I know.” Jess grinned.

Loki grinned back. Maybe things shouldn't look so grim, what with being taken care of by Midgardians who didn't judge him for his past, despite knowing who he was and what he had done to their city. Maybe there was hope for him still. Funny how a simple gesture from a simple healer could lift his spirits, even if it wouldn't last long. At least he had something to look forward to.

-*-*-*-*-*-

Emily woke up feeling rested. After yesterday's mishap with her sudden dizziness, she was looking forward to today. Doctor Baker was scheduled to come over and check her head wound. She might get rid of the ridiculous bandage finally. It didn't feel as sore anymore and her hair could use a wash.

After breakfast, the doctor promptly arrived and checked on her. As she had hoped, the bandage was off. The cut had healed nicely and she was allowed to wash her hair. Finally! So as soon as the doctor left, leaving her with strict instructions not to overdo it, and agreeing to let her come back to work in a week, she went into the bathroom and took a nice, long shower she had been dying to take for days. Only washing her body and the tips of her hair was never enough to have her feel completely clean. But today promised to be a good one. Not even an apocalypse was going to stop her from enjoying her shower.

After spending a good 40 minutes under the warm water, she finally got out and started drying herself. She put on a pair of blue jeans and a lavender t-shirt. She pulled her hair into a loose ponytail, not wanting to put any pressure over the healing cut at the back by pulling it as tight as she usually would. Then proceeded to put on some light makeup, like she always did when she wasn't on active duty. Once done, she put on her sneakers and grabbed her cane along (because Pepper insisted she take it everywhere, and if yesterday was any indication, she might actually need it) and headed towards the elevator that would take her to the medical facility.

She was humming a tune to a song stuck in her head while she walked the corridors heading to Loki's room. She first made a stop at the reception, greeting Jess and asking about the continuous passive motion machine, if it was ready. Sure, it was meant for recovery after a knee replacement surgery, but she figured Loki could also benefit from it. 

“Your official road to recovery starts today!” she chirped as she pushed the cart holding the machine into the room.

Loki look at her with a raised eyebrow. She looked different than yesterday, and it finally dawned on him. She had removed the bandage around he head and she looked like she was feeling better.

Jess and Hugo followed Emily into the room, Hugo going to lay down in a corner of the room as to not be in the way. Jess helped Emily set up the device.

“So this is how we'll do it.” Emily explained. “First we start with the manual therapy, and then 20 minutes per leg on the machine for stretching and cooling down.”

Loki simply nodded. He wasn't sure how the procedure was going to go and what the machine did, but he was ready for anything that would ensure a faster recovery of his muscles. Even with their fast healing abilities, laying in bed for a month would result slow recovery for any Asgardian. Especially when they lacked the presence of Asgardian healers and their tools.

Once everything was set up, Jess left the room to go continue her work at the reception and Emily climb on top of the bed with one leg kept on the ground, for balance. She gave Loki instructions on trying to push his foot against her shoulder, while she bent his knee and pushed it towards his chest. A few rounds of that exercise and she gently brought his leg down on the bed, then while keeping it straight, lift it up a few inches asking him to try and hold the position for a few seconds. It took a bit of effort on Loki's side to get that done, but after a few failed attempts and some mumbled curses, he managed to hold his leg a few inches above the mattress. Emily then moved to the other side of the bed and they repeated the exercises on the other side. Loki was starting to feel optimistic, even making small talk about how dull it is in the room with nothing to do. Emily asked FRIDAY to activate the television, which came sliding down an opening through the ceiling. Loki was amazed at the simplicity as well as the brilliance of the idea. If the late Tony Stark was any indication, some Midgardians were smart. Though he figured everything about this building was most likely first approved by Stark himself before they came to exist. That, or he designed the whole thing himself. Too bad he would not be able to pick at Stark's brain anymore. He would have loved to get to know the man on a more.. less hostile circumstances. 

Loki's thoughts were interupted when he felt a soft tap on his knee. He looked at Emily, who was smiling at him. “Apologies, I was distracted.” He smiled back, letting a tiny bit of guilt show on his face.

Emily waved a dismissal at him. “Don't worry about it. So the TV is set, you either use the remote or ask FRIDAY to change channels or set up whatever it is you want to watch.” She showed him how to work the remote before handing it to him. Loki started pressing the buttons, turning the TV on and going through the channels and nodding his approval at the distraction presented to him in the form of Midgardian enterntainment. 

“So I feel like eating. It's past lunch time and Jess would have my head if you skip food.” She eyed him like a teacher who was about to scold a student. “You skipped dinner last night.”

“I wasn't hungry.” He shrugged.

“Hungry or not, from now on no skipping meals.” She gave him a determined look, with a little smile pulling at the corner of her lips. “You might not be hungry, but your muscles are. Only exercising won't help the recovery. You need nutrients as well.”

“I know.” Loki sighed. “As I promised your colleague, from now on I will not miss a meal.”

“Good!” Emily grinned. “Let's get us some lunch then. FRIDAY, what's on the menu today?”

“Mushroom and chickpea burgers.”

“Perfect! Could you have the kitchen send us lunch for two, please.”

“Lunch for two is being prepared as we speak, Miss.”

“Thank you, FRIDAY. Oh! And something for Hugo, please.” She added.

Loki observed the interaction between human and AI. “This artificial inteligence is quite useful.” He said once the conversation between the two was finished.

“You have no idea. This is Tony's pride and joy, next to his suits. Or well, was.” She shrugged.

“His legacy, in a way.” Loki nodded.

“In a way.” Emily agreed. Tony's legacy was more than his company and his suits. It was Pepper, Morgan. It was his love for his family and friends. His love for humanity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Comments and kudos are always appreciated. Hope everyone is safe.


	12. Chapter 12

Loki had soon started physical therapy with the professionals. His days had gotten more interesting, if not challenging. Emily kept visiting him at random times of the day. Whenever her visit coincided with lunch she would order the day’s menu for two and they would have lunch together. Soon she will be going back to work and will probably not have time for sharing lunch with Loki. So she was going to enjoy the company while it lasted. They talked about various topics. Loki told her of Asgard and she noticed that he saw his homeland in a very different way than Thor did. Loki had more an eye for the beauty within the city, whereas Thor almost always told about battles and the magnitude of Asgard’s wealth and how it protected the other realms. She found that she liked Loki’s version of Asgard much better. It sounded beautiful, majestic even. They also talked about her work, and how she was considering getting a part time job at a local hospital for the days when the medical facility had no patients to take care of. She liked her work. And while working for Stark Industries, or in this case, the Avengers, paid well, she simply needed the second job to keep her busy.

They talked about the final battle. About the snap. How the world dealt with it and how it was dealing with the return of half of the population after five years of absence. That got Loki to think. How did he end up here, five years after having his neck crushed by the Mad Titan? He never questioned it before. Didn’t even consider asking Carol Danvers whether she had any theories. The only theory he could think of is that somehow his body was among those affected by the snap, and after it was reversed, he was back and somehow alive. He could still remember the pain and discomfort he felt when he woke up in space. That was nothing he would ever want to experience ever again. No matter what was at stake. All right, maybe if Thor needed his help. Then maaaybe he could be persuaded. But nothing else. No one else. Alright, he owed his life to Emily and Danvers. They get a chance too. But that’s it. 

He was even having less panic attacks, which he was grateful for and Emily was pleased with. His heart seemed to be getting better as well. Sometimes he was visited by nightmares, resulting in a panic attack. He hated those nights. It would take him a while until he could recover and he would be laying in bed awake for the rest of the night, resulting in a very grumpy God of Mischief the following day. He could only keep his mood in check whenever Emily was around. She somehow had a soothing effect on him. Maybe it was the way she spoke, the way she didn’t take shit from him yet always managed to do it with a friendly smile. Or maybe because he owed her his life and well being.

His therapy was coming along nicely. It was the day he would get to finally stand up. That morning was also very significant because Emily was coming back to work. That meant no more regular lunches with her, but on the upside it meant seeing her more often during her shifts. When she walked in that morning with another nurse Loki had seen before, he greeted them with a wide grin on his face. He was looking forward to today’s physical therapy which was scheduled after lunch. That is until Emily told him what was on the morning schedule of the day.

“You are going to take the tube out?” His eyebrows shot up his forehead. “Absolutely not!” There was no way in hell he would let her do that! He usually didn’t care who saw his private parts, but he had high respect for Emily and it was blasphemous to think that she would be the one removing the catheter. His nostrils flared as he tried hard to keep his temper in check.

“It’s my job, Loki.” Emily sighed. “Who do you think put it in there?”

“WHAT?” he yelped, probably louder than he intended, seeing how both women were taken aback by the sudden outburst. Loki took a deep breath, closed his eyes and exhaled slowly. “My apologies,” his voice was calmer. “I didn’t mean to raise my voice like that.” He opened his eyes and looked at both nurses. One worried and the other giving him her trademark warm smile. “I.. I don’t feel comfortable about it, Em. I’m sorry.”

Sighing, Emily nodded. While she didn’t see any problem with it, she could understand. They had grown close in the past couple of weeks and that can make people feel uncomfortable about certain medical procedures. “Alright, nurse Martha here can do it. I’ll just wait until she’s done.”

“Thank you,” he said, feeling relieved.

Emily proceeded by pulling curtains around the bed, giving Loki his privacy and Martha the space to get the work done. They prepared a tray with the needed supplies, which was neatly placed on a side table near the bed. While Martha was busy with Loki, Emily took to prepare Loki’s medications for the day and registering the names and amount of pills under his file on the tablet. She could hear Loki’s rapid breathing as Martha worked. He was nervous, which was normal. Her still being in the room probably didn’t help matters, but he’ll live. She was working, after all. After a few minutes Martha was done and Loki let out an audible sigh. She gathered the used supplies, catheter and bag and put them in a box, to be taken away. She then went to the sink, took off her gloves and tossed them in the garbage bin and washed her hands, grabbed body washing supplies and disappeared behind the curtains. Loki kept silent the whole time, letting the nurse do her job as he lay down with an arm covering his eyes. If he didn’t see her then maybe this wasn’t happening, especially with the other nurse, whom he had started considering a friend, still in the room and on the other side of the curtains.

Martha had noticed his discomfort, so she kept quiet and finished washing him in record time. She helped him in clean hospital clothes and fluffed up his pillows. After fixing the bedsheets at the side, she pulled the curtains open and cleaned up the overbed table. “There, good as new!” she declared as she gathered the supplies and put them on a cart to be taken out.

“I’ll take it from here, then, Martha. Thank you.” Emily inclined her head at the other nurse with a smile, which was returned the same way.

“See you later, Mister Odinson.” Martha addressed Loki as she headed out with the cart that held the used supplies.

“Thank you, Nurse Martha.” He said, and after the nurse had left he let out a sigh he didn’t know he was holding.

“That stressful, huh?” Emily said, bringing a cup of water and a smaller one holding a few pills and handed them to Loki.

“You have no idea.” He said, taking both cups from her. First swallowing the pills and then taking a few sips of water. Midgardian medication was interesting. Definitely better in taste than the Asgardian version, which consisted mostly of foul tasting potions. That’s why he always opted to use healing stones and spells instead of potions, unless they were strictly required.

“Now that you’re about to get off that bed, I feel like we should celebrate later.” She said, taking the now empty cups away and tossing them into the bin.

“I’m listening.”

“Don’t get your hopes up,” she grinned. “I’m just thinking about dinner. What do you say about dinner at the penthouse?”

Loki raised an eyebrow. “You would trust me into your home?”

“Technically it’s Pepper’s. She wouldn’t mind having a guest for dinner.” She walked to stand next to the bed, looking him in the eyes. “And you haven’t given me reason to not trust you.”

“Surely Pepper has updated you about my past.. visit to this particular building and specifically to the penthouse?”

“She has and that is as you said, the past.” Emily shrugged. “If she had any problems with you or any lingering resentment, she wouldn’t have allowed you to stay here for so long and would have arranged your treatment at a SHIELD facility.”

“That is comforting to know.” He nodded, smiling nervously. At least one affiliate of the Avengers doesn’t want him dead. Well, a second one. Bruce didn’t try to kill him and fought alongside him against Hela five years ago. Which brought him to the next thought. “I’ve been meaning to ask you.”

“Yes?”

“I haven’t seen Banner since that one time the Hulk showed up.”

“Oh that’s because he’s not allowed here until you’re ready to receive visitors.”

“On whose orders?”

“Mine.” Emily looked smug, proud of her little self-proclaimed authority over who can and can’t visit her patient.

Loki tilted his head, like a child defying authority. “Carol Danvers visited me.”

“She doesn’t cause you panic attacks.”

“Point taken.” He slumped back on the bed. His wit seems to be out of practice as well. He sat back up, “I’d like to see Banner, if that’s alright with you.”

Emily sat down at the edge of the Bed. “Loki, it’s not about it being alright with me. Bruce told me the reason behind your panic attack upon seeing him. I can’t allow him to come here and have you go into another episode. He can wait.”

“All he has to do is not to unleash the beast, and we’re good.” Loki shrugged.

“Oh... I keep forgetting you don’t know.” She said, hitting her forehead with her palm. “I’m so stupid sometimes it hurts.”

“Is everything alright?” Loki was starting to wonder what else did he miss in the past five years.

“Yeah, yeah. Well, basically Bruce and the Hulk are one.” She started explaining, Loki opened his mouth to say something but she stopped him by raising her hand. “And by that I mean he is now permanently the Hulk.”

Loki’s breath caught up in his throat. He was fucked. Royally fucked. The Hulk hated him!

“Okay, calm down.” Emily placed her hand over his, which was clutching at the bedsheets so tight his knuckles were turning whiter than they already were. “Look at me and take a deep breath. Come on, inhale, that’s it, now slowly exhale.” She calmly instructed him until his anxiety calmed down and he was breathing regularly again. “And this is exactly why I don’t want you seeing him yet.”

“I.. don’t know why this happens now all of a sudden. I have fought alongside the Hulk against my sister. I know he hates my guts, but we fought together. And now all of a sudden the mere thought of him coming into this room sends me trembling like a child. It’s pathetic, really.” He sighed, leaning his elbows over his knees and dropping his head into his palms. “I’m pathetic.”

“You’re not.” Emily said. “You’re not pathetic. You’re simply going through post traumatic stress. Loki, for fuck’s sake, you’ve been killed, turned to dust, resurrected after the recovery snap, almost died in space, was in a coma, woke up and almost died of a cardiac arrest and you’re still here. You’re making recovery at an amazing rate I must say, all aforementioned things considered. It’s a miracle you haven’t tried to kill anyone yet just from the stress of it all!” 

Loki’s head snapped up to look at her with shock evident in his eyes. “I don’t want to kill anyone!”

“I didn’t mean it that way.” She sighed. “What I meant is that you’ve been through so much for the past month, you mind and body require time to recover. Now your body is making tremendous progress. The mind always takes a bit longer to catch up.” She gave him a warm smile. “Please don’t say you’re pathetic, because you’re not. No friend of mine is.”

At that Loki smiled at her. Genuinely smiled. She called him a friend. While he had considered her a friend for a while now, he never knew what he meant for her. And now she said it herself. He was her friend. He didn’t have those in Asgard. None of his friends were truly his. They always used him to get close to Thor, Fandral being a shining example of those. But Emily, she was his friend. She had no interest in befriending him to get closer to Thor.

“I won’t say it then.” He finally replied, nodding. “Though, how is the Hulk not smashing his way around the building?”

“Well, Bruce has figured out a way to combine the muscle with the brains. So he’s in a Hulk form, but the brain is Bruce. Basically it’s as if Bruce had gone to the gym and built a ton of muscles.” She shrugged. It was the simplest way to explain this.

“So Banner gave up his physical form and accepted that of the beast.” He mused. “Interesting.”

“And since the Hulk is giving you anxiety for the time being, Bruce is not allowed here. But he does keep asking about your wellbeing.”

Taking a deep breath, Loki straightened up. “I would still like to see him.”

“I wouldn’t recommend it just yet, but I won’t stand in the way either.” She knew a lost battle when she saw one. There was determination in Loki’s eyes. She would be there to help him with the panic attack if it happened, would even kick the Hulk out for the sake of her patient if she had to. But for now she’ll arrange a meeting.

“Thank you,” Loki said with a soft smile.

“Hey, how about I invite him for dinner tonight? I’ll be there, Pepper will be there. Safe environment, you know?”

“It might work.” Loki nodded.

“Good. FRIDAY, please alert Bruce he’s invited to dinner at the penthouse tonight. Also alert Pepper that we’re having two guests for dinner. Bruce and Loki.”

“Right away, miss Green.” 

“Thank you!” Emily turned to Loki. “Okay, now that that’s out of the way. I’m going to take my lunch out today. Hugo needs a walk. I’ll see you in the evening. I’ll come pick you up.”

“Sure.” Loki nodded. “I’ll see you tonight then.”

“Yep. See ya!” with that, she left the room to go up to the penthouse to get Hugo for his walk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, also for the comments and kudos! ❤


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a long one!

The day had been eventful, at least for Loki. Lunch consisted of waffle iron turkey melt panini and a glass of orange juice. The crispy bacon, creamy cheese and the turkey slices packed a nice mix of taste alongside the mayonnaise and mustard mixture. Loki practically inhaled the sandwich in record time. It was filling, but it was so tasty that had he been offered a second or even a third serving he wouldn’t have said no.

After finishing lunch, he leaned back against the mattress that was raised into a sitting position and grabbed the remote to turn on the TV. He flipped through the channels, not having anything specific in mind while waiting for the therapist and his assistant to come and start with today’s session of therapy. He was looking forward to it. Finally getting off the bed and later that evening he would be getting out of the room as well. He would be jumping in delight right now if he could. In the process of flipping the channels he came across a music channel. The melody being played was strange to his ears. Nothing that he had experienced on Asgard.

_“Don’t tell me it’s not worth tryin’ for_  
_You can’t tell me it’s not worth dyin’ for_  
_You know it’s true_  
_Everything I do_  
_I do it for you”_

Warmth spread through his body as he listened to the words. So it was a love song. It seems that he was becoming sentimental, seeing how he enjoyed the lyrics. A few years back he would have scoffed at such accusation. Loki, sentimental? Never in his life! That was Thor’s area of expertise. He watched the singer pouring his heart out to an arena full of cheering people. He made a mental note to ask Emily about music later on. For now, he dropped the remote to his side and closed his eyes to listen to the husky voice of the singer and enjoying the sentiment behind the lyrics. Heh, maybe he really was becoming sentimental. How the tables have turned.

It must have been a while that he had his eyes closed, because the next thing he knew he was waking up to sounds in the room and there was another song playing on the screen hanging from the ceiling. He turned his head to see a nurse walking in pushing a wheelchair, not different than the one Emily used a few days ago. She was followed by the therapist, who had a pad in one hand and the other was tucked in the pocket of his white robe.

“Greetings, mister Odinson,” the therapist said, nodding once at Loki.

“Hello,” Loki replied, sitting up. “Apologies, I must have dozed off.”

“Well, you’re awake now.” The other man grinned. “Now, let’s get you out of that bed, shall we.”

Loki’s grin matched the other’s. “Gladly.” He replied.

While the therapist was tapping away on the pad he was holding, the nurse brought a set of sweatpants and a t-shirt, placing them on the bed. She then pulled the curtains around the bed as Loki watched her work. She then helped him off the hospital gown and put on the new clothes. Loki sighed in relief. These simple pieces of clothing, despite them lacking in style, felt much dignified than the hospital gown he had been wearing so far. Once dressed, the nurse pulled the curtains open and beckoned the therapist to approach. She pulled the wheelchair closer and positioned it next to the bed. Loki turned to the side, letting his legs drop to the side of the bed. Therapist holding his arm on one side, and the nurse the other side, they helped him get on the wheelchair. For a moment Loki thought he would be falling face forward onto the chair, though he could feel his leg muscles somewhat cooperating, but both Midgardians had enough strength to support him.

Once seated in the wheelchair, Loki let out a sigh of relief. Finally off the bed. The nurse pushed the wheelchair out of the room and Loki marvelled at the corridors they went through. The hallway had as much personality as the rest of the facility. The floor was slate grey as the walls above. The light too bright compared to the warm tones in his room. Loki found it to be quite dull. The place was probably not run by risk takers, then again, it served a certain purpose so he guessed they didn’t invest much in interior design as they did in technology. Which didn’t make sense, since this was, after all, Stark’s building.

The trio turned at a corner and entered an elevator that seemed to be waiting for them upon arrival. Loki marvelled at the steel grey walls, graphite grey floor and the silver handrail. A screen panel at the side showed numbers escalating until it stopped at 53 and they walked out, him still being pushed in the wheelchair. There were no more corridors here, for the elevator opened onto an hall equipped with several machines Loki had no idea what they were used for. He soon found himself facing a sort of double railing parallel to each other, with some sort of a mattress rolled up between them on the floor. The nurse then brought the wheelchair to one end of the railing and pulled the brake levers on each side of the wheels to keep it in place.

“Today we’re going to try to walk.” She said, extending her arms towards him, palms up. “Hold on to me, by the forearms if you want. The therapist will be at your side to catch you if needed.”

Loki placed his palms over her forearms and looked at her. She nodded at him, indicating he could stand up when ready. The therapist stood to his side, one arm around his waist from the back and the other hovering lightly over his stomach. Taking a deep breath, Loki put one foot on the ground and slowly pushed himself to stand up. He had never thought the simple act of standing up would be so strenuous. The feeling in his thighs was similar to that of an injury. He was resilient, though. The tremor starting in his thighs wasn’t going to stop him. He put the other foot on the ground as well and slowly straightened up, letting out a relieved sigh and grinning at the achievement.

“Well done!” The nurse said with a smile. “Now I’ll be taking a step back and I need you to take a step forward. Don’t think about it, we’ve got you.

Loki nodded, hands tightening over the nurse’s forearms as he took a single, shaky step. “Oh wow.. this feels.. odd.” He said, insecurity evident in his voice.

“Your leg muscles will be fighting against the movement, which is normal.” The therapist said. “You ignore that and fight back. Let’s do another step.”

Another step was taken, his legs threatening to give up on him, but Loki was too stubborn to pay it any attention. His focus was on getting his mobility back. With a few steps further they were standing between the railings. The mattress dipping a bit to his weight. The therapist moved to stand behind him, placing his hands over Loki’s waist. The nurse moved her arms to the side until they were touching the rails.

“You can let go of me now and hold on to those.” She said, motioning her head towards the railing. “I’ll still be here.”

Nodding, Loki let go of one arm and held on to one side of the railing. Then he did the same on the other side. The nurse placed her hands to his sides, right under his armpits. “Now keep your weight on the railing for support and walk towards me.” She said and he did so. It was going well so far. The protesting muscles still shaking but Loki gave it no mind. He could do it. He knew it. And these two Midgardians knew what they were doing, so he trusted their knowledge in the matter.

They spent a good fifteen minutes walking back and forth between the railings, until Loki felt his legs couldn’t take it anymore. “I might need to sit down for a bit.” He told the two.

“Sure, let’s walk you to the chair.” The therapist behind him said and they slowly made their way to the wheelchair. Once seated, Loki let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“I could not have imagined this to be so strenuous.” He said, taking the cup of water he was handed by the nurse, nodding his thanks to her.

“You’re actually doing pretty well.” The therapist said. “Physical recovery after a coma is different with each person. Some would recover pretty fast, while others would be bedridden for longer. Depending on the cause of the coma and everything related to the body itself.”

“I’m lucky then.” Loki said, taking a long sip of water and handing the cup back to the nurse.

“Let’s do some exercises before you try the walk again. These would be exercises you can do while laying in bed. You’ll get the instructions through FRIDAY.”

Loki nodded. The wheelchair was pushed to another part of the room where a blue mattress was laid out. They helped him off the wheelchair and onto the mattress, which didn’t go as smoothly as Loki had hoped. He tripped and almost fell face forward onto the floor, but thankfully the Midgardians were fast to catch him, sparing him any embarrassment. 

-*-*-*-*-*-

Pepper was not keen on having Loki up at the penthouse, but after half an hour of Emily basically explaining the importance of him getting outside his room for a change of view and some fresh air, she finally agreed to it. 

They decided to order pizza, since neither women would have had the energy to cook anything by dinner time due to having a full day of work behind them. Emily had requested FRIDAY to arrange some comfortable clothing to be delivered to Loki, since other than the hospital gown he had no clothes to call his own. His Asgardian uniform had to be cut off of him when he was first brought here, so that was not among the clothing options for him.

Once it was dinner time, she went to the medical facility to pick Loki up. Grabbing a wheelchair on her way to his room, she greeted her colleagues at the reception as she hummed a random song under hear breath.

After he had finally showered with the help of a nurse and dressed up, he requested to be seated on the couch instead of the bed. He was almost fidgeting due to the nervousness he felt about going back to the penthouse. His last visit was still vivid in his mind. First he had thrown Stark out the window and later on he was decorating the floors with the imprint of his body, courtesy of the Hulk. Said green monster was going to see him again, and despite what Emily told him about Banner’s latest change, he felt anxious about it. Looking down at the black button up shirt and blue jeans he was wearing, he ran his palms over his thighs. Whoever picked those up had good taste, he figured. He was definitely pleased with the colour and fabric choice. The black shoes came up to his ankles, the laces tied tight enough for his liking. His hair pulled back into a loose pony tail. He probably needed a haircut, but for the time being decided against it. He can get a recommendation later, whenever the time is right.

A soft knock alerted him of Emily’s arrival and he straightened up in his seat. 

“Well look at you all dressed up and handsome.” She grinned as she walked in. “How does it feel not to be sitting on the bed?”

Loki laughed, “pretty amazing, actually. And thank you, you flatter me.”

“I speak facts.” She grinned. “Ready to go?”

“Yes.”

She helped him into the wheelchair, thankfully with no incidents involving a certain God of Mischief planting his face on the floor, and they were on their way to the penthouse.

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” he asked her as they walked into the elevator leading to the penthouse.

“Why wouldn’t it be?”

“Given the history..”

“Eh, that’s in the past. Everyone has moved on. Pepper as well, to some extent. She’s still mourning though, just so you know.”

“Noted.” He didn’t miss the bit about ‘some extent’, which meant he needed to be careful about what he said to avoid any conflicts. He hated being so vulnerable with the lack of magic and properly functioning limbs.

“Aaaand we’re here.” Emily said as the elevator doors opened. She pushed the wheelchair ahead and Loki just looked around. The interior has changed, though not drastically. The window he threw Stark out of was still there, now repaired. There was a seating area directly in front of it now which wasn’t there the last time. The bar was at the same place, he noticed. The floor tiles intact and a different colour than before. He shuddered at the memory and tried his best to keep his breathing in check.

Emily brought the wheelchair towards the couch and slid the brake handles into place. “Would you rather sit on the couch or the wheelchair?”

“The wheelchair is good for now, thank you.” Loki replied. He didn’t want to risk tripping again and this time actually embarrassing himself, so he went for the safe option of staying in the wheelchair.

“Okay,” Emily nodded. “I’ll go tell Pepper we’re here and grab us some drinks.” And with that, she left him in the living area and headed to the home office, where she figured Pepper would be.

A moment later she was back, a tray with three glasses full of drinks in her hands and Pepper following her. Emily put the tray on the couch table, while Pepper approached Loki.

“Mister Odinson, we finally meet.” She said, smiling and extending her hand to shake his. Though her smile was more out of politeness than it was warm and welcoming.

“Lady Stark,” he took the offered hand and nodded in acknowledgement. “yes indeed. Though I wish it had occurred at better times. My deepest condolences for your loss.”

“Thank you.” Pepper replied and turned to take an offered drink from Emily. She went to sit on the couch while Emily handed Loki his drink as he mumbled his thanks. The three sat in silence for a while, awkwardness raising its head among them. Loki was starting to think this was a bad idea. A very bad idea. He took a sip of his drink and held the glass on his lap, staring at it in silence.

Not being able to take the awkwardness anymore, Emily decided to break the silence. “So, I was telling Pepper earlier how you were doing well at physical therapy.”

“I hadn’t expected it to be so strenuous.” Loki said, raising his gaze from his lap to look at her.

“Oh I can imagine.” She replied. “I’ve quite a few people yelling profanities at the therapist when things got hard.”

“That’s rude.”

“It is, but I get it. You’re used to having certain standards, but then for one reason or another you land yourself into physical therapy because you can’t do a certain thing anymore. And that thing that used to be natural turns into the most difficult task known to man. One gets frustrated and the therapist gets to be the punch bag.”

“Doesn’t mean they should do it.” Pepper said, breaking her own silence.

“Agreed,” Loki said.

Pepper looked at him for a moment. Emotions were running wild in her head. Though she had made her peace with what happened during the battle of New York, she still had a bone to pick with Loki for throwing Tony out the window. Thor had told them what had happened that eventually lead to the invasion, but it was no excuse.

“You threw my husband out the window.” She said. If looks could kill, Loki would have been rolling five times in his grave from the way Pepper was looking at him. Her knuckles wrapped tightly around her glass, almost turned white. Like it was grounding her from lashing at him. She knew she wouldn’t do such thing. She had class, after all.

“I did.” Loki said, taking another sip of his drink and then leaning forward to put the glass on the table. “Stark was a formidable opponent to fight against. While I realize anything I say cannot change the past, but I do apologize for my actions against your late husband.” He straightened up in his seat. “I would have rather liked to fight beside him and not against him.”

“Yeah, well look where that has gotten us.” Pepper leaned back in her seat, sighing.

“You know,” Loki chuckled nervously, “he kind of saved me too that day.” Pepper raised an eyebrow. “After I threw him out the window, he came back wearing his suit and shot me with a repulsor.”

“Good.” Pepper said and Emily shot her a wide-eye look, to which Pepper shrugged.

“That broke the hold the Mind Stone had on me. That was when I had finally woken up from whatever atrocious sleep The Other had put me under.” He looked down onto his lap where his hands were starting to shake. The memories of the torture he had endured in the Void still haunted him whenever he thought about it. “Your husband saved my life and I will never be able to make amends with him or thank him for that.” He finally said. Noticing his shaking hands, Emily scooped closer on the couch so she was within reach and placed her palm over his forearm and gave him a warm smile.

That seemed to break something in Pepper’s heart. Loki was the God of Lies, he was known to weave lies to get out of any imaginable situation. But the way he looked down, the way his hands were shaking.. you couldn’t fake that no matter how good of a liesmith you were. She had convinced herself that because Tony had made peace with the happenings of that day, she should as well. Right now was the time for her to actually make peace with it. Sighing, she put her glass on the table, which prompted Loki to raise her eyes and meet hers.

“I might be able to do something about the making amends part.” She said, this time giving him a warm smile. “I’ll let you know when I figure it out.”

Loki smiled back. “Much appreciated.” He then looked at Emily, who nodded at him and with a tap over his forearm she let go of him and sat back on the couch.

“When’s the pizza coming?” Emily turned to Pepper.

“Bruce volunteered to pick it up. He should be here soon.” Pepper replied and checked her watch.

They continued conversing about random topics. Loki and Pepper still a bit formal towards each other, but less timid. Pepper even cracked a couple of jokes which had Emily in stitches. Despite the rocky start, Loki was thinking this wasn’t a bad idea after all.

“Boss, Doctor Banner will be arriving in 60 seconds.” FRIDAY suddenly interrupted their talk.

Loki tensed. 60 seconds was not much to prepare himself for the Hulk. He rubbed his arm with his hand, trying to convince himself it was going to be fine and he should trust Emily’s word about Banner simply wearing the Hulk suit and not actually being the Hulk. But he couldn’t help it. The beast got to him every time.

“Loki, deep breaths.” She was kneeling next to him. When did she kneel next to him? “It’s only Bruce. He may look like the Hulk, but it’s Bruce. I promise.” She ran her hand over his arm. “I promised to keep you safe, remember? You are safe.” Loki nodded at her and took slow deep breaths. Pepper noticed the exchange with a raised eyebrow. She knew Emily was good at her work, she had helped Tony out of several panic attacks in the past, but the exchange in front of her was different. She couldn’t pin point how different exactly, but it was different.

“I’ve got pizza!” Bruce announced as he walked out of the elevator, holding several boxes of pizza in one hand and a plastic bag in the other. “Got some ice cream too.” He raised the bag.

Pepper got up to take the food off his hands. “Yay food! I’m hungry!” she exclaimed as she took the boxes to the dining table and Bruce followed with the bag of ice cream to put them in the freezer.

Loki was holding Emily’s hand at this point, squeezing the lights out of it. She was fighting not to wince at the pain, because she knew how anxious he was for this moment. “Loki, you’re crushing my hand.” She whispered in his ear, which resulted in him gasping. He hadn’t realized he was causing her pain by holding her hand tightly.

“I’m sorry. I’m very sorry!” He whispered back, quickly letting go of her hand.

“Don’t worry, I’ll live.” She winked at him in an attempt to make him see everything was fine. “Now let’s reintroduce you to Bruce.”

Emily stood up and looked at Loki with a warm and reassuring smile, but he wasn’t looking at her. His gaze was fixated on an invisible spot on the floor, arms wrapped around his waist. He was breathing heavily again. A loud laughter came from the kitchen and Loki jerked his face into that direction, breaths coming more rapidly. Emily was kneeling next to him again.

“Loki, look at me.” She said softly and he turned to face her, anxiety written all over his face. “Focus on me. Take a deep breath, hold it in, one, two, three, four, now exhale. You’re doing good. Let’s try again. Inhale, hold it..” Loki followed her instructions while focusing on her. Slowly his breathing was normal again and he let out a deep sigh as he closed his eyes.

“Thank you.” He whispered.

“Keep your eyes closed for a bit. Focus on your breathing. I have an idea.” Emily said. Loki did as instructed and kept his eyes closed. He placed his hands on either sides of the wheel chair and breathed slowly. At that moment Bruce and Pepper walked into the living room and Emily immediately raised her hand as to keep them from talking. The two stopped in their tracks for a moment, before slowly proceeding forward.

Emily motioned for Bruce to come closer, then motioned for him to talk, pointing at Loki and then her ear. She wanted Loki to hear him before seeing him, in an attempt for him to recognize that Bruce was the one in the room and not the Hulk. She placed a hand on his forearm as she spoke. “Loki, I want you to keep your eyes shut for a bit. Someone wants to say hi.” She said softly.

Bruce crouched close to the wheelchair, “Hey Loki.” He greeted softly. Loki shut his eyes even tighter, ducking his head like he was about to be struck and put a hand over Emily’s that was on his other forearm and held on tightly. His breathing started escalating again. Emily put her other hand over his and started gently stroking it to calm him a bit. “Hey buddy, it’s me Bruce. Take deep, slow breaths, buddy. It’s just me here, I promise.”

The combination of Bruce’s calm voice and Emily stroking his hand seemed to work. Loki’s breathing calmed down, though he still didn’t straighten up in his seat. Emily nodded towards Bruce, indicating that he should continue.

“Uhm, you know, I’m sorry I scared you the other day,” Bruce continued talking, “For a moment I forgot you didn’t know of my recent change.” He chuckled nervously. “Gave everyone the shock of their lives. Well, everyone except for Thor.”

That seemed to spark something within Loki. He straightened his back and he wasn’t scrunching his face anymore, though there was still signs of worry over his eyebrows. Emily noted that it was probably the mention of his brother that sparked the worry, so she nodded at Bruce to continue.

“When he first saw me like this, he didn’t say anything other than ‘hey Banner’ and gave me a pat on the arm,” Bruce shrugged at the two women when he told the white lie. That’s definitely not how it went when he went to see Thor in New Asgard after the snap. Thor can tell him the truth about that when he gets back from his space escapades. For now Bruce wanted to avoid sending Loki into yet another anxiety attack.

“Banner?” Loki asked carefully, eyes still closed.

“I’m here, buddy.”

Loki carefully opened his eyes gasped upon seeing the Hulk smiling at him. His hand tightened around Emily’s, but soon he loosened his grip. He looked into Bruce’s eyes and saw nothing but the insecure, friendly gaze of Bruce Banner looking back at him. Smiling. The Hulk was smiling. At him. It was absurd, but also somehow contagious. Loki smiled back. “Banner.” He let go of Emily’s hand and she of his as she stood up. “I’d get up and hug you but my muscles can’t be trusted right now.” Loki said, reaching a hand out for a handshake instead. Bruce took his hand and then wrapped an arm around Loki’s shoulder in a tight hug. Loki started laughing as tears rolled down his cheeks. “By the Norns, Banner, I can’t believe it.”

Emily stood next to Pepper, who was wiping her own silent tears with a napkin and smiling at the two men. “You did well.” Pepper whispered, taking Emily’s hand in hers and squeezing lightly. Emily smiled as well.

“Well, you better believe it.” Bruce said, a wide grin spreading on his face as he let go of Loki. “It’s so good to see you.” A few years ago that statement would have sounded as absurd as it would have felt. But right now, at that moment, it was the simple truth.

“It’s good to see you too, Banner.” Loki said, still not believing his eyes. 

“I’d hate to break the reunion,” Pepper wiped her nose, “but I suggest we move this to the dining table.”

Loki nodded, so did Bruce as he stood up, towering over the wheelchair bound God. The four of them moved to the dining table, Emily pulling a chair out of the way so Bruce would bring Loki’s wheelchair close.

“I’d like to sit on a chair, if that’s alright with you.” He looked at Emily, with a soft smile tugging at his lips.

Emily beamed at him. “Of course.” She said and pulled the chair back close to the table and just a bit aside so there was space for Loki to move closer. Bruce stepper out of the way as she pulled the brake levers down on his chair. She gave Loki a hand to grasp, which he did, and carefully pushed himself off the wheelchair with shaky legs. “Bruce, from the other side, if you please.”

“Sure,” Bruce said and stepped to Loki’s other side, large hand hovering over Loki’s back but not touching. Simply being there in case Loki’s legs faltered.

The two steps Loki took felt like walking miles, but he did it. With the help of his two friends, he was seated at the table. Bruce pushing his chair closer to the table and then taking a seat next to him. Emily sat across from them and Pepper sat at the head of the table.

Four pizzas, all with different toppings were laid on the table. Each of them had plates and cutlery in front of them, along with glasses filled with coke.

Loki looked at the food, tilting his head as he wondered how one would eat the sliced pieces. He watched as Pepper picked a piece and used a fork and knife to slice it into smaller pieces before picking one with the fork and start eating. Bruce grabbed a slice from another box and simply took a bite from the corner. Loki scrunched his nose at that.

Emily picked a slice from the box where Pepper picked hers earlier and placed it on her plate. She noticed Loki observing them and figured she should probably explain the toppings.

“This one’s called Neapolitan,” she pointed at the one she and Pepper were having. “It’s tomato sauce, mozzarella and fresh basil, usually cooked in a wood-burning oven. And the one Bruce is having is called Hawaiian. It’s tomato sauce, mozzarella, ham and pineapple. There we have Chicken bacon ranch. That’s pepper fried chicken, bacon, ranch sauce and fresh garlic. How am I doing so far, Bruce?” she eyed the green giant who was taking a slice of said pizza.

“So far on point,” Bruce said, “let’s see how you do with the last one.” He pointed at the fourth pizza with the tip of the slice in his hand.

Emily grinned. “And we finally have Supreme, consisting of pepperoni, sausage, mushroom, onion, green peppers and black olives.” She sat back in her chair, crossing her arms and raising a proud brow as she stared at Bruce with triumph written all over her face. Bruce gave her a thumbs up as he bit on his slice of pizza. Emily laughed and sat forward, grabbing her utensils. “Pick whichever you feel like. You can either use utensils, or your hand.” She told Loki, who nodded and reached for the Supreme and placed a slice on his plate. He looked at it for a moment, trying to decide whether he wanted to use his hands or not.

“Pizza is one of the foods that do not follow table manners no matter where you go.” Pepper said, cutting a slice on her plate. “Every single person on the planet has their own way of eating it and no one judges the other for the way they do.”

“Kind of like an unwritten rule.” Bruce added.

“It’s quite enlightening to learn about Midgardian cuisine.” Loki picked up his knife and fork and started slicing his piece of pizza. “I found the food in my room quite delicious.” He picked a piece of his now neatly cut pizza slice and put it in his mouth. He closed his eyes as he chew, dropping his head backwards and letting out a satisfied sound at the taste and juiciness of it. “This is exquisite!” he said, after swallowing and dove his fork into another piece.

“Glad you think so.” Bruce grinned as he picked another slice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> The song mentioned in this chapter is 'Everything I do, I do it for you' by Bryan Adams. And this was the video Loki was watching  
> https://youtu.be/Y0pdQU87dc8


	14. Chapter 14

It had been a week since the dinner at the penthouse. Loki spent the days in physical therapy, getting better at getting his leg muscles in shape. They had moved from manual therapy to exercise machines sooner than expected, mostly due to his strong will and determination on not relying on external help when he was trying to be mobile. Having to go to the bathroom in the first few days proved to be challenging. He had to call for a nurse to accompany him from bed to bathroom and back. Going all shades of red whenever said nurse happened to be Emily and he had to request for someone else to assist him cover the distance. Sometimes when other nurses were otherwise occupied she stubbornly helped him to the door under heavy protests. He would growl and scowl at her, trying to intimidate her but she wouldn’t budge. It frustrated him that she wasn’t scared of him, yet somehow admired her for it as well.

Bruce visited him more often now. Sometimes Loki would get startled by the green giant and would need a few minutes to calm his breathing, but it was getting better. Sometimes Hugo would come for a visit, spending a short amount of time with him while Emily was working. Soon he had started taking Hugo for short walks. Nothing more than 15 minutes around the building or the park nearby. It was refreshing. Being able to walk outside the building with no one paying him any attention, not even sparing him a look as people rushed to wherever they needed to be. Loki was adapting to life on Midgard. Though still mostly confined to his room at the medical facility, he sometimes ventured to the staff library located on one of the floors at the Stark Tower. He would sit in a secluded corner to read and educate himself about Midgard. The history of the realm did nothing short of surprising him with every page he turned in the books he read. Every time he finished a history book, thinking he was done, he would find another one and then another. Sometimes he would pick out science or technology related books. Sometimes books about politics. Knowledge was power and power intrigued him.

Emily had accepted a job at a local hospital, helping out at the emergency room. Being somewhat used to the Avengers showing up at the medical facility after a mission, needing all sorts of immediate care, she had come to enjoy the thrill of thinking fast in order to help the injured. Saving lives gave her life a meaning on a whole different level than anything else. The variety of cases kept it also interesting. One day it was a car accident, another day it was a child who swallowed a button. She enjoyed the variety on a whole other level. On the days she was at the Stark Tower she would sometimes join Loki for lunch. Sometimes he would join her and Pepper for dinner.

Pepper had been going back and forth between the tower and her lakeside home. Morgan tagging along whenever she wasn’t at school. A babysitter was arranged at the penthouse in the form of Jess, since they currently didn’t have much to do at the medical facility and Jess loved children in general and Morgan in particular. The child had an amazing amount of wit and sass on her, which came naturally to her. She was, after all, a Potts-Stark production.

Loki had met Morgan a few days ago when she returned from her grandparents’ house with her mother. They came to the medical facility to say hi to Emily and for Pepper to pick up some paperwork from the penthouse before heading to the lakeside house. Loki had just returned from a short walk with Hugo when the little girl stormed at them and Hugo bolted towards the girl and giving Loki the shock of his life and almost tripped face forward as the dog was still on the leash. He was about to pour his irritation at the dog when he saw the little girl hugging the beast and Hugo gingerly wagging his tail. The view instantly melted his heart and a bright smile formed on his face. Pepper came not long after, introducing her daughter to Loki, who carefully knelt before the girl to be at an eye level with her before greeting her. Morgan had shied away behind her mother before saying hello to the stranger. Although, seeing Hugo come to stand next to the man eased her up a bit, telling Loki that since Hugo likes him she will try to tolerate him, which earned her a laughter from both adults.

After their initial meeting, whenever Morgan was in he tower, Jess would sometimes bring her to see Loki. They would sometimes play games, sometimes they would take Hugo for a walk together. Loki didn’t think he was a children kind of person, but little Morgan was a force to be reckoned with. She reminded him of her father, even though his contact with Stark was very brief and, well, of violent nature. But said short contact definitely didn’t lack the sass and wittiness the little girl was exhibiting occasionally.

On the tenth day after their first mutual dinner at the penthouse, Pepper came to visit Loki in his room at the medical facility. The God of Mischief was sitting on the sofa, reading a book he had borrowed from the library and only put it down when he heard a soft knock on the door, followed by footsteps distinguished by the confident sound of heels clicking on the floor.

“Is it an inconvenient time?” Pepper asked as she walked in.

“Never for my favorite Stark.” Loki smiled, standing up and offering her a seat before sitting back down again after she did.

“The doctor told me you are being discharged in a couple of days.”

“I am indeed.” Loki nodded. He hadn’t put much thought into it because of the book he was reading. Curse the interesting storyline that kept distracting him.

“It got me thinking,” Pepper said, “we haven’t informed New Asgard about you because I believe Thor should be the first to know and see you before anyone else.”

“Agreed, though I have no place to call my own in New York.” Loki sighed, he really wished to see Thor before his return, or rather resurrection, being announced to his people.

Pepper smiled at that. “After your first visit to New York, Tony redesigned the tower during the renovations and assigned a guest floor right below the penthouse for the Avengers. Thor has a room there which he hasn’t used at all. You can have it if you want.”

Loki was surprised and humbled by the generous offer. “Are you sure you want me living that close to you and your daughter?” he asked, carefully.

Pepper laughed. “Well, you have been staying in the same building as me for a while now. We’ve shared meals, and you’ve met Morgan and you know by now she would gut you and hand you your intestines in a platter and you’d be thanking her with a smile on your face.” She grinned.

Loki laughed at the gory description Pepper had just painted for him regarding her daughter. “She takes after her parents in intelligence, wit and sarcasm. She will be, as Midgardians say, going places. I would be honoured to be gutted at her hands.” He smiled.

“I have no doubt of that. And please, don’t make my daughter gut anyone ever.” she chuckled, “we’ve dealt with enough violence in the past to last us a century.”

“Indeed.”

“So what say you? Want the room?”

Loki nods. “I’d be honoured to share a residence among you and your family.”

“That’s nice to hear.” Pepper replied as she stood up. “Join us for dinner tonight, and after I can show you the room and you can see whatever you want to change about it to make it your own.”

“That sounds splendid.” Loki stood up as well and escorted Pepper our the room and through the corridors to the elevator.

“I’ll see you tonight then.” Pepper said and stepped into the elevator.

Loki bowed his head as he bid her goodbye and walked back to his room. His heart fluttering in excitement for the generous offer for a place to stay he had just received. His day could not get ruined anymore.

-*-*-*-*-*-

After an exquisite Greek delicacies for dinner, Pepper tucked Morgan into bed and went to join Emily and Loki in the living room. The two were engrossed in a conversation, still at the dining table, about something Pepper didn’t quite catch, something about her new work place, but nevertheless, the view before her was somehow endearing. She paused a moment at the thought and chuckled silently at herself. She then moved further into the room and towards the two.

“So, would you like to have dessert first and then have a look at your room or the other way around?” she addressed Loki, who perked up instantly.

“I’d like to see the room first and we can discuss everything related over dessert?” he offered with a smile.

“Perfect.” Pepper grinned. “Let’s go, then.” She motioned towards the door leading to the staircase with her head and lead the way.

Upon entering the Avengers level of the tower, both Emily and Loki gasped at the grandeur of the place. They were only at the living area, which Pepper lovingly informed them was dubbed “The Common Room” by Tony. Just like the penthouse, the outer walls were simply glass, giving the residents of the floor a marvellous view of the city. The seating area consisted of an L shaped sofa big enough to seat several people and a three-person couch placed across from it, with a big glass coffee table between them. On one side there were two armchairs and on the other side was an elegant trolley holding several bottles of alcohol and different types of glasses.

Just like the penthouse, there was a bar at one side of the room, but unlike the penthouse there was an open kitchen here, overlooking the living area. A big dining table serving as a divider placed in-between. Loki looked around, taking in big and small details about the place. Noticing small cameras and sensors in almost every corner of the place. FRIDAY was present everywhere, he concluded.  
Then Pepper lead them to the room Loki was to be occupying soon. She opened the door and stepped in, Emily and Loki following closely. Loki stepped further into the room as Pepper stood near the door next to Emily. He looked around, hands behind his back, examining what he will soon be calling his.

The room was of moderate size. A king size bed stood on one end of it. The covers were a mix of red and gold, as were the decorative pillows. Loki was definitely reminded of Thor upon seeing the colours. He smiled as he turned his gaze to other parts of the room. There was a glass door on one side, leading to what seemed a balcony. Stark had probably wanted the big oaf to have a place to fly from or land at without breaking the windows every time he had to swing his hammer. Clever. Loki could definitely see himself utilizing said balcony for reading and relaxation. He walked around the bed, running his hand over the duvet, mentally already making adjustments. It would have been instantaneous had his magic been functioning properly. Alas, he was going to have to do it the tedious, Midgardian way. He looked around and saw a an empty desk and a chair. Thor was never the type for a study corner in his room. On one corner of the room there was a red lounge seat. Neat, Loki thought. He liked those. He had one in his chambers on Asgard. On another corner of the room were two doors distinctively different from each other, yet holding some resemblance for the sake of compatibility with the rest of the interior design. He looked at them, tilting his head to the side as if trying to decipher what they were. He then looked at Pepper, pointing at the doors.

“The one on the left is the walk-in closet, on the right is the bathroom.” She provided.

“Oh.” He simply said and opened the door that was supposed to be the bathroom.

Grey tiles covered the room, accentuated with white marble sink, toilet and a triangular bathtub that looked a bit foreign with all the silver knobs and discs on inner side of it. Next to the tub was a glass cubicle with several buttons and knobs on the wall. He knew that was the shower cubicle, though it was far different than the one he had been using in the bathroom at the medical facility.

Pepper and Emily joined Loki in the bathroom. “Hey how come I don’t have a jacuzzi bathtub in my bathroom?” Emily looked at Pepper as soon as they walked in, crossing her arms.

“Well, for starters, you’re not Thor. And you never told Tony you wanted one. He would have had one added to your room instantly.” Pepper smiled.

“Can I have one now?”

“No.” Pepper grinned.

“If it wasn’t too soon I would have said something related to that brilliant husband of yours.” She looked at Pepper, smiling, “but instead I’m just going to say I miss him.”

“Me too, kid.” Pepper wrapped an arm around Emily’s shoulder as she looked around the bathroom, making mental notes on what personal products Loki might need here. She’d be making a shopping list for FRIDAY to take care of soon.

“I’m afraid I will need an instruction manual on how to use everything in here.” Loki finally spoke, turning to the two women.

“FRIDAY will assist you with everything you need. She’s basically connected to everything and anything electronic in the whole building.” Pepper said. “She has sensors everywhere, literally.” At that Loki looked up to the corners where he spotted the neatly hidden sensors. “Though no cameras in bedrooms or bathrooms for obvious reasons.”

“Of course.” Loki nodded. “Shall we have a look at the closet then?”

They walked out of the bathroom and into the walk-in closet, which seemed to be a room on its own. It was empty, of course, since Thor never really stayed at the tower more than one or two nights, and he was always in his armor. Loki found that he liked the closet. There was enough space to hang clothes or to fold them onto the shelves. There was even a vanity table at the end of the room and a rectangular pouf in the middle. 

“I like it.” Loki turned to Pepper. “The room is well thought of.”

“Thanks.” She smiled. She had a hand in the interior design and decoration of the rooms on this floor to accommodate the Avengers. Well, the original team, since this had been done directly after the battle of New York. The new team was mainly using the Avengers Compound in Upstate New York whenever in town. The original team still came over for visits or if they were on a mission and the tower was close enough to spend a night or two in, but other than that they spent their time mostly at the compound nowadays or at their own residents if they had any. Clint was the only one living with his family on the country side. Bruce stayed mainly at the tower, but sometimes he would spend some time at the compound, depending on the load of the work he needs to get done.

“Shall we head back for dessert and possible adjustment ideas?” Pepper asked and Loki nodded. With that the three of them went back to the penthouse.

As Loki and Emily sat down on the sofa, Pepper first went to the kitchen and grabbed the dessert out of the fridge. Three glasses of classic chocolate mousse that she topped with whipped cream and chocolate shards before putting them on a tray and bringing them to the living room. She handed one to Emily, another to Loki and grabbed hers and sat down on an arm chair across from them.

“So, Loki, what would you like to change about the room.” Pepper asked as she scooped a spoonful of mousse.

“First of all I would like to thank you yet again for your generosity.” Loki said, a warm smile on his lips. “And the only thing that would require change for the time being is the bed.”

“Understandable. FRIDAY can supply you with a catalogue to choose from, or we can get it custom made if you prefer that.”

“A catalogue would be most sufficient.”

“Okay hold up,” Pepper set her glass of mousse on the table and held her arms apart in front of her. “Loki, God of Mischief, crown prince of Asgard, opting to go for a catalogue and not custom?” She was, to say the least, surprised.

Loki laughed heartily at that, which caused Emily to giggle and Pepper grin. ”My dearest lady Stark, I’m the God of Mischief, not Vanity.”

“Heh,” Pepper picked up her chocolate mousse and leaned back on her seat. “Good point. The title God of Vanity was occupied by my late husband.”

“Boss was quite fond of the exquisite when designing his suits.” FRIDAY supplied.

The three of them snickered at that.

“Tony wasn’t vain, but he always went for the best of the best. He loved to show off.” Emily said, putting her empty glass on the coffee table. Pepper nodded fondly at the memory that brought.

Loki put his empty glass on the table as well and stood up. “Ladies, as much as I am enjoying the beautiful company, I’m afraid I need to retire now. I have an early appointment with the therapist to discuss my further exercising schedule.” He said and looked at Pepper, inclining his head in gratitude, “Lady Stark, thank you once again for your generosity. I hope to be able to pay you back one day.”

“It’s my pleasure.” Pepper replied as she stood up as well, setting her own glass on the table.

Emily got up as well. “I’ll help you with the dishes and head out as well.”

“Work?” Loki raised an eyebrow. By now he was familiar with night shifts.

“Going home.” Emily said. “Haven’t you noticed a lack of a certain canine today?” she smiled at the surprised look he gave her.

“I merely thought he was in Morgan’s room.”

“She would still be awake if that was the case,” Pepper laughed.

“I can only imagine.” Loki chuckled, then turned to Emily. “I can wait until you’re done and we leave together?”

Emily nodded, grinning. “That works.”


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the comments and kudos! Enjoy this chapter :)

Loki had walked Emily all the way to the parking garage, bidding her good night and watching her drive off. He lingered there for a long moment before heading back to the medical facility. He wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight due to his excitement about his new place of residence. 

Upon entering his current room, a thought crossed his mind which affected his mood. The room was on the Avengers level. That meant they would be coming there at some point in the future. While Bruce and Carol Danvers were fine, he couldn’t know how the others would react to him. He wondered if the team of heroes have been alerted about his presence, and if so, why hasn’t he been dragged out of here just yet? This was something he could either ask Bruce or Pepper. He made a mental note to pose the question to either of them tomorrow. Or he could ask the machine.. it was well informed, after all.

“FRIDAY,” he called, looking at one of the sensors.

“Yes, Mr. Odinson?” Came the reply.

“Are the Avengers aware of my presence here in the tower?”

“Mrs. Stark deemed it currently irrelevant for them to be notified.”

Loki found that intriguing, to say the least. Well, almost. Pepper had been nothing but friendly and generous towards him. He was grateful for her friendship. He couldn’t help but wonder why she hadn’t notified the heroes, so he asked the AI for clarification.

“It would have served no purpose other than, and I quote, giving her a major headache trying to convince the team of hot heads that you mean them or the universe no harm. She’d rather leave that to Thor. End quote.”

It was naive of Pepper to think that he meant them no harm, then again, it was also true. Being under the control of the Mind Stone a few years back was no fun. Being released from its hold was even less so. He realized at that moment that he had never thanked Bruce for the smashing he received, which was a traumatic experience that he’s been suffering from to this day. He shuddered as the memory threatened to resurface and he inhaled deeply to control himself. Nonetheless, the smashing was basically what had broken the hold the Mind Stone had on him.

As he changed into night clothes, another idea came to him. “FRIDAY, how is Lady Stark’s relationship with the wizard that resides in New York?”

“Doctor Stephen Strange. The relationship is strictly professional, yet non hostile.”

“Alright, thank you.”

“Pleased to be of assistance, Mr. Odinson.”

Loki climbed onto the bed and got under the covers. If he was to meet the Avengers at some point, he had to get his seiðr fully functioning. And while he didn’t know how long it would take for Thor to come back to Midgard, he hoped to be able to somehow protect himself against whatever the Midgardians could throw at him. Unfortunately, the only person on Midgard he knew to be more or less adept at using magic was the insufferable wizard. He was hoping to get in contact with him using Pepper’s help.

-*-*-*-*-*-

The following day consisted of Loki going through a furniture catalogue with FRIDAY’s help, trying to choose a bed for his room. While he claimed to himself that he wasn’t picky about it, reality proved that he actually was. The bed frame was to be made of black oak with a linen headboard in black Ombelline. Was preferably queen sized, because it would make it wide enough for two people yet not too big for one person. Why did he need a bed fitting two people he had no idea just yet, but he did prefer the comfort of a wide bed. A king size would be too big, and the word left an unpleasant feeling on his tongue. He never got to rightfully be king, though to him, at the time, he was much better suited on the thrown than Thor could have ever dreamt of. But now, in retrospect, he knew a throne would have suited him ill. He was content with being a prince, though now a prince without a kingdom, or a king for that matter. So the frame material and size was decided upon and he asked FRIDAY to choose a mattress as she saw fit. He wasn’t familiar with the types of mattresses Midgardians used, and the selection that FRIDAY presented him with only served to confuse him further. He also requested a couple of black mango wood chests of drawers, a black mango wood desk and a matching chair.

They moved on to pillows and covers. He insisted on goose feather pillows, as they were most comfortable. He requested four of them. Two on each side. One can never have enough pillows for added comfort. When it came to covers, he was confused again. Midgardians seemed to prefer synthetic material rather than natural. He chose a woollen blanket, though he would have preferred one made of fur. Turns out using natural fur was frowned upon due to ethical reasons. Peculiar folk, the Midgardians, he thought. They had always repurposed the fur of their game back in Asgard. Whether it was a deer, bear or a rabbit, the fur was used in clothing, on the floor or bed covers. They were the best, if he was honest.

He instructed the AI on his preferred colour scheme, which was green, black and gold. Any other colour could be added or removed at her discretion if it served the overall look and feel for the room. She was to oversee the remodelling of the bedroom and he figured she was more knowledgeable in Midgardian interiors than he was anyway. FRIDAY took the liberty to announce she will be adding decorative pillows, a duvet and a thin blanket for the lounge seat, which was also to be replaced into a gold and green one. The walls would be repainted accordingly and decorative items would be placed as well. The room will fully be ready to be inhabited in three days time, she announced. Loki was grateful for the AI’s input and assistance. He was pleased with the planning so far. He hoped the result would be as satisfying.

He looked at the time and saw it was almost noon. He hadn’t felt the time go by at all. He decided to take a shower before heading out for lunch. He had requested the nurses not to bring him food to the room anymore, just so he would have a reason to get out. He would sometimes join them at the staff cafeteria for lunch, though he usually took his dinner to the room, unless he was having it at the penthouse.

After showering and putting on the same clothes as yesterday, he made a mental note to have them washed in the evening. He needed more clothes instead of the one set Pepper had supplied him. She had promised him a proper shopping once his room was ready, so he would have the space to put all the needed clothing. That thought got him thinking. Pepper was being generous, sure, but at some point he would have to pay back, or at least pay for his own shopping. He didn’t have an inheritance to spend from. No gems to sell or exchange. He figured he would have to start working. Though what use could Midgardians have for an Asgardian who’s only talent on this realm was weaving lies and casting spells? He couldn’t help at the medical facility because they didn’t have any patients at the moment aside from him, and he was of no use as a healer without his magic anyway. Self-defence trainer? He was adept in close-combat and could teach the mortals, but he was still recovering himself. Maybe this can be something for the future. He needed something for now. He walked down the hallway, tucking his hands into the pockets of the hoodie he was wearing, watching his steps as he was in deep thought.

He came to an abrupt stop when he bumped into something, or rather someone. A big someone. A big, green someone. He was still staring at the floor, so he only saw the big feet. He didn’t say anything as his heart rate was rapidly elevating. He was so deep in thought that was caught totally off guard and panic threatened to resurface.

He closed his eyes tightly as he focused on calming his rapid breathing. “Please, say something.” He pleaded. Hearing Bruce before seeing him kind of helped recently. Bruce was quite accommodating in that aspect, always announcing himself before coming into Loki’s line of view. He unfortunately didn’t manage to catch Loki’s attention this time when he called his name right before Loki bumped into him.

“Hey Loki. I was just coming over to see if you would want to have lunch together.” Bruce said in his signature soothing tone. Seeing how tense Loki’s shoulders were as the God concentrated on his breathing, he took a small step back, giving him some space. “They’re having junk food day at the cafeteria, I thought it would be fun to join them instead of eating at the lab.”

Loki took one final deep breath and slowly opened his eyes, looking at Bruce. His hand was resting on his chest, clutching at the fabric of his shirt for dear life, and he had no idea when it got there. He dropped his hand to his side and flexed his neck and shoulders. He was tense from being startled. “Hello, Banner. I.. didn’t mean for that to happen.” He shrugged, giving the man an apologetic smile.

“Don’t worry about it. I was a bit too slow to move aside when you didn’t hear me the first time.” Bruce smiled. “You okay now?” Loki nodded, putting his hands back into his pockets. “So, lunch?”

“I was heading there myself. Would be nice to not eat alone, I guess.”

“So, what was occupying your mind so much that you didn’t even hear or see me?” Bruce asked as they walked down the hallway.

“Options, possibilities.” Loki’s mind went back to what he could possibly do around here. “Pepper is being generous and I don’t want to sit idly without the means to pay back.”

“So you want a job?” Bruce was obviously surprised at the notion. Loki wanting to earn his place in this world? He definitely didn’t see that coming.

“Is it that preposterous of me, Banner?” Loki looked a bit defensive at Bruce’s surprised look.

“No, no. Not at all. Sorry I gave you that idea.” Bruce apologized quickly. “I just wasn’t expecting that.”

“Hmm.” Loki mumbled, taking a turn alongside Bruce as they reached the cafeteria and stood in line to get trays.

“You could help me at the lab, you know. We can ask Pepper if there’s a position for you.”

“I’m no scientist, but I do have some knowledge of the elements. Everything else I can learn.”

Bruce grinned at him. “Awesome.” He brought his watch close to his mouth, “FRIDAY, schedule an appointment for me and Loki with Pepper at the closest convenient time for her.”

“Sure, doctor Banner.” The AI replied and 15 seconds later, she continued, “Mrs Stark says tonight, dinner at the penthouse.”

Bruce turned to Loki, who shrugged, and then back to his watch. “Perfect, we’ll be there.”

“Appointment scheduled.” FRIDAY concluded.

“That’s quite fast.” Loki noted, picking up a tray and handing one to Bruce as the line moved forward.

“Pepper is efficient that way. Also, when it comes to the Avengers, there’s no need for formalities.” Bruce smirked. “SHIELD or ex-SHIELD aren’t as lucky.”

“I can respect that.” Loki smirked.

They gathered their food and sat at a corner of the cafeteria eating and conversing about Loki’s options around there. Bruce thought he would definitely be most useful at the lab, though Stark Industries had so many options that Pepper would definitely be able to find him something suitable to do, if science ends up not being his thing.

They were soon joined by Emily and Jess, who came earlier than usual for their late shift, saying that they heard about it being junk food day at the cafeteria and didn’t want to miss out on it. Jess called them ‘junk food junkies’ and that they needed their ‘fix’, which Loki found amusing.

The topic of Loki’s options came back into conversation. While Loki took a backseat listening to the other three discussing what he could or could not do, he played around with a sweet potato fry, dipping it into the small ketchup cup next to his plate. They could discuss all they wanted, it was up to him whether he’d consider the suggestions or not. Right now he was elated by the fact that there were three people in the Nine Realms who were extremely invested discussing him. He found it amusing, really. Bruce was adamant to have him help out at the lab. While both nurses agreed that he could have knowledge that would help Bruce in his work, Loki should explore other options. Said options varied between library, logistics, consultant, PR (about which Pepper would probably flip, given his past). The conversation was getting heated even, which Loki found to be food to his soul. That notion made him lose himself into a thought that didn’t occur to him until that moment. He was the agent of chaos. It always sought him and gave him the nourishing he didn’t know he needed. What if chaos was what was needed to get his magic back? It was a dangerous thought, causing chaos and mischief in order to try and see if his seiðr would react to that. He wished he could consult Thor about this. All the memories of his brother came crashing in his mind, adding to the feeling of chaos within him. It was becoming too much. He needed air.

Sighing, he put the fry down and pushed his chair back to stand up. “My sincere apologies, I think I need to.. take a walk.” He said all of a sudden, avoiding eye contact with the others. He picked up his tray with the leftovers and put it at the tray returning station. He then walked out of the cafeteria and headed towards the elevators.

As he stepped into the elevator, he asked FRIDAY for it to take him to the exit. The sudden need for air was overwhelming. He tried his best to keep himself in check around the others, but it was proving to be harder than he expected. The elevator walls felt as if they were closing in on him and he hoped to get out sooner rather than later.

Within a few seconds he was walking through the main lobby of the Stark Tower. He went straight towards the main doors and walked out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [This](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/ac/05/24/ac0524a792dd10baf00a4bac895855fe.jpg) was the inspiration for Loki's bedroom.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do I feel sorry for Loki? Of course I do! I want to wrap him in a thick blanket and feed him soup until he gets his magic back. But until that happens, here's the next chapter.

Bruce and Jess looked quite puzzled at Loki’s abrupt departure. Emily called after him, but he didn’t seem to hear her.

“I should probably go after him. That was..”

“Weird, and no, Emily. Let him be.” Bruce said. The guy radiated so much calmness it was impossible not to be infected by it. “I’m guessing we overwhelmed him.” 

“Okay, now I’m feeling guilty. Why am I feeling guilty?” Jess looked at Emily with a hand over her heart and shock in her eyes. “I never feel guilty!”

Emily giggled at that. “It’s alright, Jess. I’ll just talk to him next time I see him.” She smiled at her friend, though inwardly she felt a bit restless and just wanted to run after Loki and apologize to him.

-*-*-*-*-*-

Loki kept walking with no destination in mind. Not that he was familiar with the city to begin with. The short walks he had with Hugo were always around the building and he never went further than the nearby park. 

He tried to focus on something, to get this overwhelming feeling off his chest. It was starting to become painful as his breaths came in short and quick puffs. He remembered what Emily kept telling him every time he had an anxiety attack: breathe slowly, focus on something, count to five, take deep breaths.. well, something along these lines and he couldn’t remember them exactly at this point.

He wasn’t sure how far he had gotten when he started jogging, which soon turned into running. He felt like he needed to run and so he did. He didn’t stop until he reached the other end of the park, slowly coming to a halt and bending forward with hands over his knees as he tried to catch his breath.

He raised his head to look around him and saw an empty bench, so he walked up to it and lay down on it, one leg bent on the bench and the other on the ground. He grabbed at his shirt around the chest like it would help to regulate his breathing and ease the ache in that region, but it wasn’t working. If anything, he felt like his heart might go into yet another cardiac arrest at the rate it was beating right now.

He placed his other hand over his eyes just to keep the sunlight away and maybe, hopefully, it would help him concentrate on something or nothing at all. Just to keep himself from going into a full panic attack. 

He didn’t hear a pair of feet landing not too far from him, nor the sound of footsteps getting closer and stopping not three feet away from him.

“Sir, are you alright?” said the voice, which made Loki feel tense. He didn’t think he would be recognized, let alone approached when he rushed out of the Stark Tower. He should have kept to the premises. Maybe if he ignored what sounded like a young-adult, it would go away. He needed to concentrate on his breathing right now. Inhale, hold it in, exhale and repeat.

“Uhm.. I don’t mean to disturb you, but you don’t look so good, so I figured maybe you need some help?” the child continued in an uncertain tone. He, well it definitely sounded as a ‘he’, seemed to be curious rather than a threat.

Loki let his hand drop off his face and opened his eyes with a frown. He looked to the side only to see a young boy, most likely a teenager. No, definitely a teenager. He was looking back at him with worry and curiosity written all over his face. Loki turned his gaze away, closed his eyes again and tried to concentrate on his breathing, which wasn’t working with his audience there.

“Talk.. to me.. boy..” he said between breaths. People talking to him seemed to sometimes help in distracting him from whatever was overwhelming him, and since this child was still standing there, well, he could be useful instead of just staring. “Please.” He added as an afterthought. It never hurt to be polite. Midgardians seemed to eat that up.

“Oh.. uhmm.. okay, uh..” the boy stuttered. What should he talk about? He didn’t know the man despite him looking familiar. Maybe he had one of those faces. “I’m not really sure what I should talk about.”

“Any.. anything.” Loki huffed between breaths. He sat up, bringing both feet on the ground and leaned forward, head bent down and eyes closed, one hand still clutching at his chest and the other on his knee. “It helps.”

The kid’s eyebrows shot up. Okay, so talking helps. That’s a start. He was good at helping people.. for the most part. This should be easy. He was a pro at rambling away. Though right now it seemed that his brain was shutting down on him. “Um.. ok, I’m not sure what to talk about.. hey, can I sit next to you?” When Loki nodded, he went to sit next to him and continued talking. “So, okay, I’m Peter, I saw you having problems breathing so I thought you needed help. Is it a health issue or are you having some sort of a panic attack? I mean, I’ve had those a couple of times, so that’s why I thought I recognized it. Can’t be sure though. They say it’s different for everyone, but I don’t know. I just know it sucks, man. Ned and MJ help me with those if it happens when they are around. But sometimes when I’m alone, it’s difficult to get out of it, so it lasts longer. Like this one time I was doing rounds and I saw this huge billboard with Mr. Stark’s picture and it kind of triggered it and I was alone so I had to sit in an alley and just wait it out. It sucked man.”

As the kid continued rambling on, Loki’s breathing calmed down and the ache in his chest subsided. Only then he could finally lean back against the bench and let out a deep sigh. The boy named Peter stopped talking by then, which prompted Loki to open his eyes and finally look at him.

“Uhm.. hi.” Peter said with a smile.

“Hello,” Loki smiled back, though feeling exhausted. “Thank you..” he couldn’t remember the name the boy had given him and it showed.

“I’m Peter. Peter Parker. And you’re welcome.” The boy’s smile grew.

“Nice to meet you, Peter Parker. My name is Loki.. Odinson.” It still felt weird to say it out loud.

“Wait, THE Loki?” the smile had disappeared from Peter’s face and was replaced by utter surprise.

Oh shit, Loki thought, this was going to be a big mistake. “I’m.. not sure if my name is a common one around here?”

“No definitely not. Wow.. this.. oh wow.. this is so cool, man!” the smile was back in full force as Peter got excited.

It threw Loki off for a moment. Was the boy actually excited to meet him? Was he dropped on his head or something? Or was he too young to remember? Either way it made Loki relax a bit. At least he wasn’t in immediate danger, though he should probably stay alert.

“Oh my God Ned will have a field trip with this. He’s going to be so jealous when I tell him I met THE Loki!” Peter continued on.

“You’re not.. scared of me? Mad at me? Want me dead? Anything?” Loki asked. His own curiosity was poking its head.

“Why would I want you dead, man? That’s not cool.” Peter made a face. “I might have been mad at you at some point, but I was young when the chitauri attack happened, so I don’t remember much. Well, aside from my aunt going into full panic mode and forcing me into a bunker of some sort. But that’s in the past. We’ve had worse things happen since then..” he dropped his gaze to the ground and sighed. “Much worse.”

“Thanos.” Loki mumbled.

“Not only, but yeah. We got him in the end..” he caught himself a bit too late. Oops.. “I mean the Avengers got him. And Mr. Stark..” he let out a shivering sigh and clenched his teeth to prevent his emotions to resurface.

“I’ve been told.” Loki looked at the boy, who was just staring at the ground. He seemed quite invested by the battle against Thanos, and Loki wondered why. He didn’t miss the little slip of the tongue earlier. Carol Danvers hadn’t mentioned any civilians being in the area.

Peter simply nodded and didn’t say anything. It still hurt like a bitch just thinking about Tony Stark, and he hasn’t been doing a great job at keeping in touch with Pepper and Morgan. His only contact so far being Happy, and he wasn’t even picking up his phone 99% of the time.

Loki watched as the boy struggled to keep his emotions in check. The clenched jaw, the slight fidgeting, the slight tremor in his hands, the little vein popping at the corner of his temple. He wondered who this kid was to have had such strong feelings for Stark. He just mentioned the name before he turned into a bundle of pent up emotions.

“What was he to you?” Loki decided to ask. Sometimes asking was better than making speculations.

“Hmm..?” Peter looked at Loki for a moment, puzzled by the question.

“Stark, what was he to you?”

“Oh- well, you can say he was my mentor.” Peter said, a warm smile appearing on his face. “And a very good friend.”

Loki hadn’t known the man for more than the few minutes he fought him a few years back. It felt kind of surreal to be where he was now, with Stark being gone and everyone around him basically having fond memories of him. Leave it to fate that the one stranger he meets outside the tower to be Stark’s protégé. It was like the man was everywhere around him. For a moment he wondered if he would have meant anything like that to any of the Asgardians. Probably not, seeing as they were all more fond of Thor than of him to begin with. He shrugged the thought off as there was no point in dwelling on the past anymore. Instead, he wanted to know more about the boy sitting next to him.

“Have you known him for long?” he asked.

“A couple of years,” Peter replied. “I got an internship at Stark Industries and that’s how I got to know him.” By now he was quite adept at telling the internship cover story. He wasn’t sure if Thor had told his brother about him being Spiderman, and so far nothing indicated that Loki knew anything about it, so he decided to keep it like that. At least for the time being.

Loki listened as Peter told him about his so-called internship. Being the Liesmith, he knew the boy wasn’t telling him the whole truth but decided against confronting him with the fact. He found the conversation to be pleasant, especially since it was so endearing to watch the youngster babbling away and telling stories about his internship and Stark. Though that was not the only thing. The boy moved on to tell him about something called the Star Wars. He wondered how come these mortals were surprised about the chitauri attack at the time when they apparently have gone through the Star Wars? He should definitely read up on that next time he’s at the library. It sounded quite intriguing, to say the least.

After what seemed a bit over two hours, Peter suddenly stood up. “Oh.. umm.. I should go. I’ve got.. things to do.” He gave Loki an apologetic look. The conversation was nice and he would love to do it again. “Mr. Loki, can I see you again?”

“Sure,” Loki wondered about the abrupt decision to leave, but didn’t question it. “I am currently residing at the Stark Tower. Mainly at the medical facility for the time being, but in a few days I’ll be moving to my own room on one of the upper levels. I believe it’s called the Avengers’ floor, or something similar.”

Peter’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “You’re staying at the tower? That’s awesome!” he grinned. “I’ll definitely come to visit some time!”

“I’ll be looking forward to it, young Peter.” Loki smiled at him.

“Okay, I’ll catch you later then. I should go now before I’m late.” Peter said and while wanting to shoot his webs immediately, he instead opted to walk away until he was away from Loki’s line of sight, just in case he wasn’t supposed to know about him.

Loki sat back and watched as Peter walked away in a bit of a hurry. There was more to the boy and Loki wanted to unravel the mystery. He wondered if that was going to be a challenge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, the kudo's and for commenting!


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't wait to post this!

Loki had taken his time walking back to the tower. His mind kept going back and forth to the happenings of the day. First ordering the new furnishing for his room, then lunch and his abrupt anxiety attack, followed by meeting the young mortal. On the one side it was a bit overwhelming, though calling it ‘a bit’ was an understatement. But it was nonetheless an interesting day, mainly because of the boy he got to meet. He practically radiated innocence. Had Loki been at a better mental state, he would most probably had used that against the boy for some harmless mischief. He lightly smirked at the thought. He figured the days of mischief were gone, or at least gone for the time he had no control over his seiðr, which was still a mystery to him.

As he reached the medical facility and walked out of the elevator, he walked absentmindedly towards his room. As soon as he stepped foot inside, he was greeted by the AI.

“Good afternoon, mister Odinson. I am to remind you of the dinner with Mrs. Stark and doctor Banner scheduled for this evening.”

“Thank you, FRIDAY.” He said while looking at one of the sensors. The machine suddenly speaking always startled him for a second, but the more it happened the more he was getting used to it. “When do I need to be there?”

“In two hours.”

“Thank you.” Good, that gave him enough time for a shower. He looked around for a change of clothes and aside from clean underwear he had nothing. Sighing, he grabbed those, along with a fresh set of towels and went into the bathroom.

He took his time in the shower. Once done, he got dressed and started towel drying his hair as he walked out of the bathroom. He wrapped the towel over his head like a turban and sat down on the couch for a while and kept checking the clock on the wall for the time. He still had a good hour to kill before he needed to go upstairs. So, he got up and went back to the bathroom to properly dry his hair. Thank whoever came up with the idea of blow-dryers. When he had his magic, he would just use a spell to dry his hair. Mortals came up with a device to do it for them. The thought occurring to a mortal was, in Loki’s not so humble opinion, pretty close to magic. He quickly dried his hair and put his used underwear and towels into the laundry basket, making a mental note to put the rest of his clothes in there so they would get washed in the morning. He didn’t have any plans for the next day, so he could stay in his sweatpants and t-shirt that he used for pyjamas for the time it took the clothes to wash. Damn the lack of seiðr in these situations. It made him feel like a peasant. He hoped to be able to get some more clothes at the nearest opportunity. Even peasants had more clothes than him, and he was a prince! Huffing at himself, he put on socks and shoes and decided to go to the waiting area for some coffee.

He sat down with his paper cup full to the brim with the hot liquid. He had discovered lately that he liked the dark liquid unsweetened and in two different ways. Black or a cappuccino. Right now he was having a black coffee, which didn’t taste as good as the ones he had tried at the penthouse. He hoped to stock his kitchen with the same coffee Pepper had instead of whatever they were using here. He’ll have to ask her about it at a later time.

Taking a sip of his coffee, he watched the nurses working behind the reception desk. He found it somewhat relaxing to watch people without having any ulterior motives. It was a new feeling for him, for he had always watched people while plotting something. Mostly mischief, but sometimes also an attack. He wished he could do that again, the plotting for mischief, not an attack. He didn’t feel threatened enough to do that. Though the mischief? He missed it. He was so reliant on his seiðr for this, that it felt out of place for him to attempt anything without. Even though he didn’t even need magic for some of the pranks he had pulled in the past, but the loss of his seiðr threw his self confidence out the window. Well, maybe it was finally time for him to take on the centuries old advice his whole family had been giving him to finally grow out of pulling pranks on people? He couldn’t tell. He wanted to have a choice in the matter and the choice had been somehow taken from him.

Familiar footsteps pulled his attention from his musings towards the source of it as Emily walked across the hallway with a bundle of papers in her arms. She noticed him sitting there, so she put the papers on the reception desk and walked over to him.

“Hey, you.” She greeted him and came to sit next to him. “You had us worried at lunch.”

“My apologies for the way I left.” He said, sincerity in his voice as he smiled apologetically. “I guess I was a bit overwhelmed.”

“I wanted to come after you, to make sure you’re alright. But we thought maybe you needed some time alone.” She smiled back.

“That’s very thoughtful.” He took another sip of coffee. “I could have actually used the company. But a young mortal helped me through it.”

“Shit, was it that bad?” worry was written all over Emily’s face.

Loki shrugged. “I guess so. Though his rambling kind of helped shift my focus until I calmed down.”

“Loki, I’m so very sorry! We didn’t know talking about your options would be so overwhelming.”

“There’s no need to apologize, Emily. I didn’t know it would happen either. And to be quite honest, I think it was more than just talking about my options.” He shrugged. “I’m thinking it’s possibly a few things combined and it just triggered something when I thought about all of them at the same time.”

“Could be that as well.” She mumbled, her face turning to the floor as she started thinking.

“What are you thinking about?”

“Hmm.. I was wondering..” she turned to look at him, “would you be open to the idea of seeing a professional?”

“A professional what, exactly?”

“A shrink. I mean, a psychologist. Someone who specializes in the workings of the mind.” She explained.

Loki gave it a thought for a moment as he sipped on his coffee. It wouldn’t be so bad to talk to someone about it and maybe, just maybe, they would have a solution for him. He had some doubts, but it wouldn’t hurt to try.

“It might be worth a try. As long as it’s someone who does not appose to talk to the person who tried to concur your world in the most atrocious way.” He gave her a little, guilty smile.

“Yours was a picnic in the park compared to what Thanos did.” She shrugged. “Besides, the professionals working here are the best. They’d get informed about you having been staying here and being treated for a couple of months now. That should be enough to wipe off any hesitations if they would have any.” She grinned.

“And how you do I come across said professionals?”

“Well, you’ll have to file an official application, which first needs to be approved by your physician so a referral can be composed.” She furrowed her brows, giving him a serious look.

That made him sigh and sit back, hanging his head low. “Great, another obstacle.” Bureaucracy was a bitch apparently even on Midgard and it was kicking him in the guts.

Emily started giggling immediately at that, which caused Loki to glare at her. What was funny about it? Surely she, of all people, could sympathize with him.

“Lucky for you I know people.” She wiggled her eyebrows, making Loki blink in surprise. Could she go out of line just for him?

“Oh God, you should totally see your face right now.” She burst out laughing, covering her mouth with her palm and fanning her face with the other. “Oh that was so worth it!”

Her laughter was so infectious that Loki laughed as well. Has the Trickster been tricked by a mortal? It certainly seemed so.

“Alright, alright,” she inhaled deeply, still fanning her face, “I’m sorry for that.” She giggled. “I’ll handle the paperwork, that’s how it’s actually done. You will simply get an appointment at the earliest available moment.” She smiled at him as her giggles calmed down.

“You managed to trick me and that is not an easy feat. My compliments to you, Miss Green.” He bowed his head to her.

“Why thank you, Mister Odinson.” She inclined her head in response, grinning.

“My pleasure. Now I will have to excuse myself, as your lovely cousin is expecting me for dinner.” He said, finishing his coffee and standing up.

“Is that so? She hadn’t mentioned anything.” Emily stood up as well. “Okay, I haven’t spoken to her today, so that’s probably why.” She chuckled.

“Perhaps.” God he loved these small talks with her. Too bad he had a dinner appointment to get to and she was on duty.

“Okay, I might see you later by the end of my shift. I’ll let you know about the shrink once I have the information.”

“Thank you. And yes, we might see each other again later.”

“Bye, Loki, give Morgan a kiss for me, will you?”

“I shall. Bye, Emily.” And with that they each went their separate ways. Emily to continue her paperwork and Loki towards the penthouse.

-*-*-*-*-*-

“Lokiiiii! Incomiiiiing!” a squeak of a tiny mortal was heard the moment he stepped out of the elevator. Said tiny mortal with an Iron Man helmet had also attached herself to his leg, it seemed.

“Oh no! What will I ever do! I am trapped by an unknown Iron Maiden hugging my leg! Oh Goddesses of Valhalla, how will I ever survive!” he said in mock dramatics.

“It’s just me, silly.” Morgan giggled as she pulled away from his leg and took off her helmet.

“Oh wow!” Loki pretended to be shocked. “I didn’t recognize you there!” he knelt before her. Probably the only mortal he would ever willingly kneel for.

“It’s the helmet.” She pointed at it and nodded. Making the statement seem like the most obvious thing in the world, even blaming it for Loki not instantly recognizing her. Then she stood on her toes as she wrapped her arms around Loki’s neck. “Hiiii.”

“Hello, little one.” He hugged her back. “And why are you still out and about? Shouldn't it be your bed time by now?”

“It definitely is, and we’re not supposed to run from mommy now, are we?” Pepper walked into the living room. 

“But I don’t want to sleep!” Morgan protested as she turned to look at her mother, one arm draped around Loki’s neck.

“Well, tough luck. You’re still going to bed. Come on,” Pepper waved at Morgan to follow her, which didn’t happen.

“Can Loki tuck me in today?” she turned to Loki, grinning and playing at the neck of his shirt, twisting it around her finger.

Loki raised an eyebrow. He recognized the mischief in the grin and smiled. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea, little one.”

“But why?”

“Because you know why.” He gave her a pointed look.

“No, I don’t.” She mustered the best innocent look she could manage, which didn’t fool Loki at all. The kid wanted to play and he knew Pepper wouldn’t allow it at this time of the evening. His gaze caught Pepper’s who simply nodded at him with a smile, and an idea formed in his head.

“Well, because,” he stood up, picking Morgan up as he started walking towards her bedroom. “You’re hoping to play a bit to delay your sleep. But I have to tell you, a fair maiden such as yourself needs all the sleep she could get. How are you to defend your home if you are sleep deprived?” he walked into her bedroom and brought her down to her bed.

Morgan gave it a thought for a moment as she sat on the edge of the bed. “You may or may not have a point there. I guess it would be easier for intruders if I was sleep derived.”

Loki giggled. “Deprived, little one, it means having less of something.”

“Deprived. Check.” Morgan nodded. “I don’t want to be sleep der.. deprived.”

“Good. So how about I tuck you in, and I come back tomorrow afternoon for some play time?”

She beamed at him as she hopped onto the bed, making her way to lay down under the blanket. “That’s awesome!”

He adjusted the blanket around her, tucking her in nicely. “Well then, my fair maiden, I will see you tomorrow. May you have the softest of dreams.” He leaned down, kissing her forehead before leaving the room.

Pepper was standing at the doorway watching the whole interaction. As Loki walked out, she went in and kissed her daughter good night as well. Then she turned off the lights and closed the door behind her, walking towards the living room next to Loki.

“She adores you.” She said, “I’ve been trying to get her to bed for the past hour already. And you come in and do it in less than 5 minutes.” She shook her head, amused by the whole thing.

“She’s special.” He gave her a warm smile. “Normally I’m not fond of children, but she has captured my heart, if I may be honest.”

“That’s actually lovely to hear, Loki.” Pepper really liked this side of Loki that probably no one else had seen before. 

As they walked into the living room, FRIDAY announced that Bruce was about to arrive in a minute, just so Loki would be prepared. He thanked the AI for the heads-up and went to sit on the sofa, while Pepper went to get them some drinks while the food was still cooking.

“Ooh that smells good!” Bruce said as he walked out of the elevator. Loki was silently thankful for the little announcement, despite the fact that he knew Bruce was on his way.

“It’s just a broccoli chicken casserole.” Pepper said as she walked into the living room from the kitchen. “Hey there, big guy. Here.” She handed him a glass of aperitif off the tray she was carrying, which looked more like a giant thimble in his hand. “Come on in.” She went in to give Loki one as well before she grabbed hers and set the tray on the table. “Dinner should be ready soon.” She said as she sat down.

Bruce took a seat on one of the armchairs, looking at Loki as he did so.

Loki looked at himself, wondering what Bruce was staring at. “Banner, stop staring at me and tell me if I have a stain on myself or something.”

“No stains. Sorry. How are you feeling?” Bruce asked, concern showing in his voice.

Ah, so that’s what this was about. “I’m better by now. I’m sorry to have caused concern. I’ve also talked to Emily right before coming here.” Loki couldn’t help the warm smile spreading over his face at the mention of Emily’s name. Another point added to new feelings he never thought he’d ever experience.

The smile didn’t go unnoticed to Bruce, so he raised an eyebrow as he turned to look at Pepper, who just shrugged. She knew the two were more or less close, despite Emily’s busy schedule.

“What?” Loki saw the look Bruce gave Pepper and he sceptically looked at the both of them.

“Nothing.” Bruce said. “I’m just glad you’re feeling better by now.”

“Alright,” Loki didn’t believe it was nothing. There was something and sooner or later he would find out what it was. He just sipped on his drink as he glared at Bruce from the edge of his glass.

A soft ‘ding’ from the kitchen alerted Pepper of the casserole being ready. “I might need some help carrying everything. Bruce, you have big hands and might break things. So stay here. Loki, can you help?” Bruce simply smiled. 

“Sure.” Loki replied and got up to follow her into the kitchen.

“FRIDAY, see if Emily has some time to join us for dinner immediately?” Pepper said as she opened the oven to get the casserole out. Loki’s heart did a little flip at the suggestion. He placed a hand over it, wondering what the hell that came from, but didn’t say anything.

“Miss Green was on her way already. It seemed that she had finished work sooner than expected and decided to take the rest of the evening off.” The AI replied.

“Wonderful!” she placed the casserole on top of the stove and turned to Loki. “Loki, could you get four plates off the cupboard there? The utensils are in the drawer underneath.”

“Of course,” he said and went on to do as asked.

At that moment the elevator chimed and Emily walked in, greeting Bruce and coming into the kitchen. “Mind if I crash the party?” she grinned sheepishly at her cousin.

“Not at all, was just asking FRIDAY to get you to come. Now grab the noodle salad from the fridge and make the dressing.” Pepper said without missing a beat. Dinner with the four of them was becoming a tradition at this rate, and she found herself not minding at all. In fact, she always looked forward to it.

“Loki, could you take the casserole to the dining table, please?” she handed him oven mitts, which he put on and picked up the casserole and took it to the dining table as requested. Then he came back to get the plates.

“Salad done.” Emily said, taking it out as well. “Bruce, come join us!” she called as she walked out the kitchen.

Pepper grabbed a bowl of rice and a basket of crusty bread, taking them to the dining table as well.

Thunder roared outside, which was unusual for the season, though no one paid it much attention. At least until FRIDAY spoke. “Boss, I think we have alien visitors.”

Pepper and Bruce were quickly on their feet and Pepper was about to call for her suit when the elevator doors opened and a familiar group of people walked in. Emily’s shocked gaze went from the visitors to Loki at that instant.

Loki walked into the living area at the exact moment the elevator doors opened. He turned his gaze to that direction and froze on the spot, dropping the plates he was carrying and shattering them to pieces.

“Brother?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh oh..
> 
> Also, a question. I'm writing another multi chapter story, MCU but kind of AU? Aka no IW or Endgame. I was wondering if I should start posting that as well, or should I wait until I'm done with this one? Thoughts would be much appreciated <3


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you SO MUCH for the comments on the previous chapter! I think I will start posting the other one at some point, not sure when, because of school and exams.
> 
> And now let's jump into this drama here, shall we? xD

“Brother?” It was Thor who spoke in disbelief.

Loki couldn’t breathe. Emotions ran wild through his mind and his heart rate was elevating at an abnormal speed. He was hyperventilating as he stared at his brother, who looked much different than the last time he’d seen him. _Focus_ , his mind kept telling him. So he tried to focus on his brother, while his chest threatened to burst. He saw broader shoulders, longer hair and beard. He even had braids in his hair.. and in his beard! And wait, he had two eyes again. And.. was that a belly? This couldn’t be his brother. Thor looked much different than how Loki remembered him. But no, no one could replicate the fiery gleam in those eyes. Or rather, the one eye. The -apparently- replaced one looked a tad bit different. He had Mjolnir in one hand and an axe in the other. Why did Thor have Mjolnir when Hela had so easily destroyed it right before their eyes? And where did the axe come from? Is this really his brother or some alternate universe version of him? Or was he already at the point of insanity when he would start hallucinating? Was this a trick? Oh wait.. there had been time travel involved in the story Carol and Bruce had told him. Maybe this is his brother from another timeline? Could it be?

His knees felt weak as he staggered backwards a step. About to betray him in front of his friends and a group of people he didn’t recognize. His thoughts were interrupted when a machine poked him as it started cleaning up the shattered plate pieces. Loki took a step to the side to get out of DUM-E’s way and brought his gaze back to his brother who was turning Mjolnir in his hand and taking a step forward. A sign Loki knew meant it was about to be thrown at him. If he had any doubts whether this was his brother, they all vanished at that simple, instinctive movement. Sometimes even Thor didn’t realize he did that before throwing his hammer, and you cannot replicate instinct. Not even he could. Loki’s panic ridden gaze turned to his friends, silently asking for help as his voice betrayed him.

“Hey Thor, everyone,” Bruce said, walking up to them with a friendly smile on his face and standing between them and Loki. Blocking any attempt to attack with his gigantic form. “Welcome back.” He greeted them with a calculated, friendly smile on his face.

“Banner, who is this?” Thor asked, pointing Mjolnir at Loki as he stepped to the side to keep his eyes on the person pretending to be his deceased brother.

“Thor, it’s Loki.” Bruce said calmly.

“My brother died five years ago in front of my eyes. I held his lifeless body in my arms!” Thor roared at Bruce and turned his attention to Loki. Bruce hadn’t seen the life being sucked out of his brother on that ship, so he wouldn’t know. “Who are you, and why are you disguised as my brother? He took a few steps forward, Mjolnir pointing threateningly at Loki. Sparks of lightening started appearing around the hand holding the hammer. “Reveal yourself, imposter!”

“Why would you disguise yourself as his dead brother? That’s sick, man.” Drax said, disgust showing on his face.

“Wearing a dead man’s skin is sick.” Mantis added, scrunching her nose as she hid behind Drax.

“Not cool, man.” Quill felt the need to join in.

“Shut up, you morons. You’re not helping.” Rocket huffed at his teammates.

Emily rushed to Loki’s side, who had a hand up his aching chest. He felt his chest caving in on him as breathing became even more difficult. Added to that, it physically pained him that his brother didn’t believe it was him standing there. It was understandable, of course. Loki had tricked Thor so many times throughout their lives, not to mention the two times he had faked his death. And though they say the third time’s the charm, it didn’t really stick. He didn’t even intend to fake his death when Thanos invaded their vessel, let alone to die at all. He turned to look at Emily, who was grabbing his arm and saying something he couldn’t hear. He needed to focus on something again, to control his breathing. It seemed to be failing right now and Emily’s worried face didn’t help matters. Alright, change focus. He turned his gaze to the angry face of his brother. If the oaf would just put aside his distrust in him aside for just a second, he would be able to see the truth. But no, he was too occupied with anger that he went on yelling about him being an imposter.

“Thor,” Pepper walked to his line of view, standing between him and Loki. “If my daughter wakes up because of you, you’ll be carried out of here on a stretcher.” She gave him a warning look no one else other than a mother could give.

Thor looked at Pepper’s stern face and his gaze softened, the tenseness in his shoulders dropping. “Pepper, please tell me this isn’t a joke.” He pleaded, his voice barely a whisper. If there was anyone sane enough in the room, it should be her. “I can’t take another loss. Please.”

That seemed to do something with Loki, while still breathing heavily, he concentrated on not letting his anxiety take full charge on him. Though harder said than done, he had to try it. He only had one way to convince his brother of his idetity. He patted Emily’s hand over his arm and took a staggering step forward as she let go. “I.. don’t have control over my seiðr at this time.. but the only thing.. I can do to prove to you it is me, is this.” He said between breaths. He closed his eyes as he let his Jotunn form take over. He opened his red eyes and was met by a shocked face, that soon turned to a pained one and tears formed in blue eyes. Loki only had a second to change back to his Asgardian form as Thor closed the distance between them, pulling him into a bear hug.

Something in Loki’s heart cracked in that moment as he stood still in his brother’s arms while being almost suffocated by the hug. There was a light sting, but he didn’t pay it much attention. His emotions in a jumble as anxiety hit him at full force for a second, sending his body into tremors as his knees finally caved in. Thor didn’t let go of him as he slid down to the floor with his brother, both now on their knees. Loki was hyperventilating against Thor’s shoulder while being held tightly. In fact, he didn’t mind being suffocated by his brother either. He realized he had actually missed his brother’s hugs as he slowly brought his arms to wrap around Thor’s back and squeezed tight, returning the hug, and started crying as the anxiety started subsiding. 

“I thought you really gone this time, brother.” Thor said, tears flowing down his own cheeks. He ran his hand in small circles at the small of Loki’s back.

“I missed you too, brother.” Loki said softly between sobs, his own tears flowing freely. It didn’t matter that there were other people in the room. It didn’t matter that he was showing weakness. Nothing mattered right now. He had his brother back. Showing Thor his Jotunn self proved to be most helpful. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

Thor hesitantly pulled away just a bit to look at his brother’s face. He smiled at his younger sibling as he cupped Loki’s cheeks with both hands. “Please promise me you won’t do this to me again.”

“I swear to you this time it was not my doing.” Loki said, attempting to smile, his breathing slowly but steadily calming, though his heart still threatening to burst. “I was merely extremely lucky.”

Thor helped his brother up, not letting go of him yet as he held on to him by the elbows.

Emily looked at the reunion with a big smile on her face and tears in her eyes. She just wanted to hug them both. Pepper wasn’t spared the tears either as she wiped the corners of her eyes with the back of her hand. The Guardians stood there next to Bruce, all smiling and no one said a thing. This was a private moment for the brothers and everyone wanted to give them that.

“Mommy?” Morgan walked into the living room at that moment, rubbing her eyes and then staring at the group of people. Noticing Groot, she pointed at him. “Why is there a tree in our house?”

“I am Groot.” Groot waved at her.

“Oh Norns, I woke up the child.” Thor sighed and nervously ran a hand through his hair. He wondered if Pepper would have his head now. He hoped not. He had just been reunited with his brother and would hate to be forcefully separated from him yet again.

“I’m here, honey.” Pepper wiped her eyes one more time as she went over to her daughter. Morgan wrapped her arms around her and Pepper carried her back to her bedroom. Her warning to Thor completely forgotten.

“I believe you’re safe for now, brother.” Loki said with a gentle smile.

“I hope so.” Thor grinned at his brother. “My goodness I have missed you so much.” He pulled Loki yet into another hug.

“Hey buddy, at this rate you’ll break him and we’d be back to square one.” Rocket said, walking closer to the brothers. He’d had it with the mushy stuff. “Why don’t you introduce us.”

Thor pulled away from the hug and turned to Rocket. “My brother is not as fragile as you make him be, rabbit.” Rocket just shrugged. He had long given up correcting Thor for the misuse of his name and species. “But anyway,” Thor continued, “Everyone, this is Loki, my brother.” He then turned to Loki, “Loki, these are my friends, The Guardians of the Galaxy, but they call themselves The Morons.” All of them rolled their eyes, but Thor thought nothing of it as he went on with the introductions as if he hadn’t said anything wrong. “This is Rabbit, over there we have Quill, Gamora, Drax, Mantis and Tree.” Everyone waved a hand at him.

“I am Groot!”

“Pleasure to meet you as well, Groot.” Loki told the young tree, wiping at his eyes and smirking at the complaint about Thor still not using his name and calling him tree instead. “And everyone.” He addressed the rest of the Guardians.

“Name’s Rocket, and I’m not a rabbit as your brother likes to believe.” Rocket quipped, poking an arm out at Loki.

Loki took the raccoon’s hand and shook it. “Nice to meet you, Rocket. In my brother's defence, on Asgard, you would be considered a rabbit.” He shrugged.

“I believe someone owes me a hug as well?” Emily finally spoke softly as she wiped her cheeks.

“My dearest Emily! Apologies for my abrupt arrival.” Thor said as he walked over to Emily and pulled her into a hug. “It’s been a while.”

“Only a couple of months.” She smiled at him. 

“Everyone, why don’t you join us for dinner?” Bruce merely suggested and the Guardians didn’t need to be told twice. They settled around the dining table and started helping themselves to the food that had gotten cold by now. “FRIDAY, please arrange some pizza to be delivered as soon as possible.” Bruce took the liberty of placing an order, knowing full well that Pepper would have done the same if she wasn’t putting Morgan back to sleep. His suspicion was proved to be true when the AI informed him that an order for pizza had already been made by Pepper just a couple of minutes ago. “Have it delivered to the Avenger’s level, then. That way we won’t disturb Morgan again.” He added.

“Brother, I see you have met Emily.” Thor turned to Loki as he pulled away from the hug.

“Of course, I have.” Loki looked at Emily and gave her a sweet smile. “She saved my life.”

“Did she now?” Thor beamed at that. “I would like to know everything.”

“When we go downstairs, brother. It’s a long tale and I would hate for it to be interrupted.”

Thor nodded his agreement and pulled Loki into another hug. He didn’t seem to be able to let go of him and Loki didn’t mind it. He was glad that his anxiety had subsided the moment Thor hugged him. He would have never expected his brother to have such an impact on him. If anything, in the past Thor’s presence only caused him anxiety. Right now it seemed to have the opposite effect. He wondered if their time after Sakaar had something to do with it or if it was the time spent apart. Either way, he was glad he had his brother back.

“Alright you two, let’s get you something to eat.” Emily looked at the dining table, the food almost gone. “On a second thought, let’s already go downstairs. Pizza should be arriving soon anyway.”

The Guardians slowly got up and were led to the Avenger’s floor by Bruce, followed by Thor. Emily stayed behind and started cleaning the table, as she picked up the used plates, she saw Loki join her in the cleaning.

“You don’t have to do this. Go be with your brother.” She said softly.

“It’s alright. I don’t want you to do this alone.” He smiled.

“Thanks.”

Between the two of them the table was cleaned quickly and the dirty dishes were loaded into the dishwasher. 

“How are you feeling?” Emily asked as she closed the dishwasher door and leaned against it, facing Loki who was looking at her.

“Overwhelmed, but happy.” He answered truthfully.

“Happy is good. Focus on that and the overwhelmed feeling would eventually subside.” She replied and he nodded.

He was extremely happy at that moment. He hadn’t expected Thor to be there so soon. The Guardians either had a formidable ship that could travel fast, or they were somewhere close. It didn’t matter, though. His brother was here and that was the most important.

“Let’s go join the others.” She said as she walked towards the door.

As she was about to walk past him, Loki grabbed her arm gently and before she knew it, she was being pulled into a tight hug. Loki had never hugged her before, so she was caught off guard for a moment before she wrapped her arms around him as well.

“Thank you for saving me.” He whispered. “If it weren’t for your persistence that day, I wouldn’t have been alive today to be reunited with my brother. I cannot thank you enough.”

“You’re very welcome.” She whispered back. Standing there in his embrace felt natural, like it was meant to be and she didn’t want the moment to end. She wondered why it felt like this, but didn’t get to give it much thought as he slowly pulled away to look into her eyes and made her breath get caught in her throat as she stared into green eyes.

They kept staring into each others eyes in silence. The moment seemed to be never-ending. Loki brushed a strand of hair off her face and his palm came to rest on her cheek, just above her jawline. His touch felt cool, like a soft breeze at the end of November. It made her heart start racing. Neither of them wanted to break the silence as they stood there for what it seemed to be ages, until FRIDAY decided to do it for them.

“Excuse me for interrupting, but the food had arrived downstairs and the group is waiting for you.”

Loki sighed as he pulled away from her. Emily cleared her throat in awkwardness and ran her hand over the side of her neck and let her palm rest over her cheek where Loki’s hand had been a moment ago. She then pointed at the door and said “we should probably go” before she walked out, heading to the staircase. Loki followed her, feeling a bit awkward himself. He wasn’t sure what had just happened. His feelings and emotions were running wild. It could have been the excitement of seeing Thor again that played a role in this. Or maybe not? He probably shouldn’t have hugged her or even touched her face. It was inappropriate. Although.. if it was inappropriate, why didn’t it feel wrong? Why did he feel like there was a kaleidoscope of butterflies fluttering in his stomach? He wasn’t familiar with this feeling and it scared him. Oh how he wished his mother was there so he could talk to her about it. She was the only person he could confide in about such topics. In fact, he could confide in her regarding any kind of topic. But she was long gone and Loki had no means to contact her in the afterlife.

He took a deep breath as he followed Emily into the living area of his future home. Everyone was sitting around the large dining table with boxes of pizza scattered across. Emily had sat down next to Bruce, and he noticed an empty seat next to her and another one next to Thor. He was about to go and take the seat next to Emily when Thor called for him, so he swiftly made his way to his brother. Maybe this was better.

“Have you tried pizza, brother? It’s amazingly delicious!” Thor said as he took a bite of the slice in his hand.

“As a matter of fact, I have. It’s quite the delicacy, though I hear it’s not quite appreciated by most mortals.” Loki responded, helping himself to a slice as well.

“You are right.” Thor nodded, chewing merrily. “I wonder if we can have some drinks. Quill, could you check the bar?”

“Check it yourself, I’m busy here.” Quill responded as he busied himself with food. “This is too good to move away from.”

Thor snorted at that and stood up, making his way to the bar. He grabbed a couple of bottles and some glasses and came back to the table. He poured himself some scotch as he needed something stronger than beer. He was about to pour some for Loki as well, but Loki placed a hand over the glass in front of him.

“Thank you, brother, but I’d rather not drink alcohol for the time being.”

“But you used to like to drink together.”

“And I still do. I have however consumed a glass just before your arrival, and later tonight I need to take my medications. By drinking now I would have to wait even longer for it to leave my system before I could take the pills. And seeing that I don’t have my seiðr, I do not wish to risk anything.” Loki explained.

“Why do you need medication, brother? Are you injured? And what happened to your magic?” Thor placed the bottle on the table, which was immediate grabbed by Rocket, who poured himself some as well.

Loki sighed. “It’s going to be a long story, so brace yourself.”

He told Thor everything that had happened with him during the past two months he’d been there. While a big part of him wanted to keep his health issues hidden from everyone in the room he didn’t know well enough yet, simply due to not wanting to be used against him, a small part of him told him these were his brother’s new friends and crew. Thor trusted them and they didn’t seem to be as insolent as the Warriors Three. In addition, he had read in one of the books at the library that it was encouraged to let people around you be aware of your psychological wellbeing, so they would be considerate when making statements or doing something that might act as a trigger. Which had helped him a lot, like Bruce announcing himself before coming into his line of view, for example. Thor listened carefully, his heart breaking upon hearing about everything his brother had gone through. He cursed himself for leaving so soon after the battle. Had he waited a bit he could have been at Loki’s side from day one.

“I wish I knew at the time you were here. I wouldn’t have left.” Thor said, hanging his head low in shame.

“Thor, no one knew at the time it was me. They thought me a nameless blue alien until I had awakened.” Loki placed a hand over his brother’s shoulder. “But you are here now, and that is more than I have ever hoped for.” He gave his brother a genuine smile.

Emily was silently watching the interaction between the brothers. Making small talk with Bruce or Mantis, who was now sitting on her other side. She found her to be quite interesting with a very innocent look at life. Mantis noticed the little glances Emily has been throwing towards Loki and Thor. An accidental brush of her skin against Emily’s confirmed it. She was about to announce it to the room like she usually did with any type of statement, but something told her not to do it. So instead, she leaned closer to Emily and whispered.

“You like him.”

Emily blinked, taken aback by the proclamation. “What? No, not at all!” she shook her head. She didn’t like him. He’s her patient and friend. She couldn’t like him. “No, you’re mistaken.” She chuckled nervously. But was Mantis really mistaken? She looked at Loki who was smiling at his brother while Thor had been excitedly telling him how Steve Rogers turned out to be worthy of Mjolnir. “You’re definitely mistaken.” She mumbled, eyes still on the raven haired God.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Mantis. She's the Peter of the Galaxy lol
> 
> Soooo how many did I disappoint with the reunion?


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little filler chapter kind of thing. Thanks everyone for the comments on the previous chapter!

Thor and the Guardians spent the night at the tower. While Thor’s room was being renovated for Loki to start occupying it in a few days, Thor was going to stay in one of the other rooms. Though instead of going to bed, he left with Loki and went to the medical facility where Loki was currently residing. They spent the night talking and Thor told him more about New Asgard, his days after the snap, his journey to Nidavellir and how Stormbreaker came to be. Loki was fascinated with the story of how Thor had gotten Stormbreaker, even more than the fact that the Captain was worthy of Mjolnir. Thor also spoke of when he went back in time to Asgard, to the day their mother had died. Though the memory of her and the circumstances surrounding her death were painful, Loki found consolation in the fact that maybe, just maybe, in an alternate timeline, she was alive and well. That was probably the only reason why he didn’t fall into anxiety by just thinking of her.

It was almost dawn when Thor had retreated back to the Avengers floor to get some sleep. Loki was still wide awake. Sleep had decided to skip him in that cycle of night. He sat on the sofa, biting on the tip of his thumb as his thoughts took him through the happenings of the previous day and night. Despite the panic attacks every now and then, things were starting to shape up. Though due to Thor’s arrival, he never got to talk to Pepper about a job possibility. He will have to reschedule with her, so he asked FRIDAY to take care of that. 

Around 7am, a soft knock sounded on the door as Emily entered his room with a tray of coffee and croissants. She had a morning shift that day, which meant she would be free by the end of the day. Those were her favorite shifts to work, so she would have the evening for herself and Hugo. Well, nowadays there was Loki as well. She enjoyed their talks whenever they got to it despite her work schedule. Thankfully she only had to work two days a week at her second job. So life was pretty balanced in her opinion.

She carefully set the tray on the table and took a seat on the other end of the sofa, turning to the side so she would be facing him. Loki watched her every movement with a tired smile on his face until she sat down.

“I saw the light was on so I knew you must be awake already.” She shrugged, grabbing her coffee and taking a sip.

“Very thoughtful of you.” He reached for his coffee as well. He took a sniff first before taking a sip. It smelled different than the coffee they had at the facility. Even the cup it came in was different. She must have gotten it from the nearby cafe. “Thank you for the coffee. It’s delicious.”

“You’re welcome.” She took another sip and held her cup in both hands over her lap. “Last night was quite exciting. How are you feeling?”

“Exciting is an understatement.” He chuckled. “It was wonderful to be able to speak to my brother again. We basically spent the whole night talking.” he grinned at her.

She mirrored the grin, feeling happy for him. “That’s wonderful!”

“It is.”

“So what are your plans for today?” she asked.

“I had promised Morgan a playdate for this afternoon. But now that Thor is here, I’m guessing he’ll just have to join us.” A mischievous grin appeared on his face.

“While you’re at it, I think she’d be ecstatic to play with Rocket and Groot.” She grinned. “Rocket will be so piiiiissed!” she laughed.

Loki frowned a bit, “he doesn’t like children?”

“On the contrary,” she waved her hand, “he’s basically the one raising Groot. They are pretty close, so everyone just thinks of them as father and son. But Rocket would rather be caught dead than admit of liking kids.” She grinned. “Just watch the way he looks at Groot whenever he’s playing. It’s endearing really.” Her smile softened as she thought of that one time two months ago Rocket was watching Groot and thought no one had noticed him. Loki looked at her and felt warmth washing over him.

“Oh yeah, I meant to ask you, how’s the room decorating going? Need any help choosing stuff?”

“I believe I have everything done. It was quite easy to do it with FRIDAY yesterday morning.” He smiled.

“Yeah, she’s pretty helpful like that.” She picked up a croissant and took a bite. “You should try this, it’s tasty.”

Loki did so, and nodded at the taste. “It is.”

“Not that I don’t like having you here to visit at every step, but when’s your room going to be ready?”

“Two days from now.”

“Awesome! Promise you’ll come visit every now and then.” She grinned, not that she wouldn’t see him whenever she was upstairs or otherwise. But she felt it needed to be said.

“I give you my word.” He smiled sincerely.

After their short and tiny breakfast together, Emily went to change into her work clothes and start her shift. Loki didn’t have anything scheduled, so he hopped into shower and cursed under his breath upon realizing he had forgotten to get his clothes washed. And now that Thor was there, his plans on staying in the room were thrown out the window. Sighing, he finished showering and got dressed. Then made his way to his future residence to meet up with his brother and his team.

There was some sort of a commotion as he stepped out of the elevator into the living area. Quill was arguing with Drax about something Loki didn’t catch. He looked at them with a raised eyebrow and then made his way towards the dining table where he saw his brother perched up, grinning at his two friends arguing while holding a mug of what he assumed was either coffee or tea.

“What’s going on?” Loki asked, taking a seat next to Thor.

“It started with Drax mentioning how handsome you are, and that you looked stronger than Quill. It went on from there.” Thor gave his brother a shit eating grin.

“Oh dear.” Loki scratched his chin, sinking in his seat as to not draw attention.

Gamora joined them at the table with a bagel in hand. “Are they still at it?”

“Yep.” The grin never left Thor’s face.

“How long has it been?” Loki asked.

“At least a couple of hours.” Gamora huffed.

“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” Loki turned to Thor, who nodded like a kid who had just gotten a favorite toy for Christmas. Loki shook his head in amusement.

“I am Groot.” Groot joined them at the table, looking grumpy and annoyed.

“Stop complaining. I said no video games until after you had your breakfast.” Rocket put a plate with what seemed to be twigs in front of the teenager. Groot made a face at Rocket and grumpily picked a twig and started chewing on it. Rocket sat down next to Groot and grabbed a sandwich from the pile in the middle of the table. He turned his face to look at Quill and Drax, who were still arguing. “Hey assholes, I’m not in the mood for your idiocy this early. So cut it out!” he yelled and brought his attention back to the sandwich in his hands.

“Rough night?” Loki asked, leaning back in his seat.

“You can say so. Drax snores.” The raccoon grumbled and bit into his sandwich.

“I can see how that would be unsettling.” Loki nodded, eyeing the giant wardrobe-like-built Kylosian.

Quill and Drax came to join the other’s at the table, glaring at each other even though they stopped talking.

“Morning.” Quill mumbled, addressing Loki.

“Good morning,” Loki replied, eyeing the only human in a team of aliens.

“By the way, guys, we’ll need to leave soon.” Quill said, “By tomorrow the latest.”

“How so?” Thor asked. They just got there! He wasn’t ready to leave his brother so soon.

“Got a new mission from Xandar earlier. Seems it’s one of those things the Nova Corps don’t want to be associated with.” Rocket said while chewing.

“At least clean your mouth before you speak, sheesh.” Gamora made a disgusted face, to which Rocket just shrugged.

“I’ve been meaning to ask,” Loki turned to Gamora. “Excuse my straightforwardness, but something feels different about you. Energy-wise, I mean. It’s like you’re out of your time.”

Gamora nodded, “It’s because I’m from the past.” When Loki raised an eyebrow, she told him how she ended up leaving her timeline and staying with the Guardians from this timeline.

He sat in silence for a moment, thinking it over, then turned to Thor. “Wouldn’t that disrupt the other timeline, then?” 

Thor shook his head. “I don’t think so. The Midgardian sorcerer explained it once, but I don’t remember what he precisely said.” He shrugged.

“Good to know some things haven’t changed about you, brother.” Loki smiled.

“These kind of matters have always been more your area of expertise than mine, brother.” Thor smiled back at him.

“Thor, will you be joining us or wanna stay for a while?” Rocket asked, though he already knew the answer.

“I’ll be staying with my brother.” He replied, looking at Loki who seemed pleased by the decision.

“Thought as much. Then we leave tomorrow morning at dawn. Today we take some time off.” Rocket declared and went to slump on a couch.

“Brother,” Loki spoke, “I have promised the little Stark that I’ll be visiting her this afternoon. Would you care to join us?”

“Of course, brother!” Thor was instantly excited. “Morgan is such a delight to be around. She shares her late father’s wit.”

“Well, I didn’t know him as well as you. But I do agree that she is a delight to be around.” Loki smiled and leaned closer to whisper the next question. “Do you think Groot and Rocket would be open to the idea as well?”

“I don’t see why not.” Thor shrugged. “Hey, rabbit! Think you can make some time for the little Stark this afternoon?”

“No.” Rocket replied from his seat.

“He means yes.” Thor winked at Loki.

“Didn’t sound like it.”

“He’ll be there.” Thor turned to Groot. “Groot, what about you?”

“I am Groot!” the irritation was evident.

“Splendid!”

Loki rolled his eyes with amusement at his brother’s ignorance to what the other two had said. Some things indeed never change.

-*-*-*-*-*-

The day had been uneventful. The Guardians spent it either sleeping or arguing. Gamora kept mostly to herself, watching the crazy unfold. At least no furniture was flying around. Thor had warned them about Pepper’s wrath if they dared to break anything. He knew he was exaggerating, but they didn’t know that, nor did they need to know. Loki found that hilarious, to say the least. He really liked the amount of authority Pepper had on everyone around her. He had high respect for her.

Which reminded him, he still needed to talk to her. He hoped to see her in the afternoon, even though that time was reserved for Morgan. He gave her his word to spend time with her and he never broke a promise.

Around noon lunch arrived for everyone on the Avengers floor. As the Guardians filled their plates and sat in front of the giant TV screen to watch a documentary about the Roman Empire, Loki took his lunch together with Thor in the room where Thor had spent the night. As it happened, it was Hawkeye’s room.

“He’d flip if he knew you were here.” Thor noted with a smirk.

“All of them would.” Loki shrugged. 

“Aye, but do not worry, brother, I will not let them harm you.”

“I know.”

It seemed to Loki that no matter how much time he spent at his brother’s side since the evening before, he didn’t grow tired of it. It could have been the long separation, though to him it was only a couple of months ago since they were on the refugee vessel. For Thor it has been over five years. He basked in his brother’s presence. He felt like a renewed man, despite his current health issues.

Loki had a lot of questions and Thor had the answers to most. They talked and talked and talked. The topics didn’t seem to end and neither of them seemed to get bored of the other’s presence. A small part of Loki wished he had this version of his brother before he had let himself fall from the Bifrost, maybe they would have avoided all the heartache and loss that had followed. Though another part of him was also grateful for how things had unravelled through the years. Everything both of them had been through had shaped them to be the people they were today. Yes, this was much better. Despite all the loss and pain, he would go through it all over again if it meant he would be reunited yet again with his brother.

“Loki?” Thor called for him, which made Loki blink a couple of times, bringing his attention to his brother. He hadn’t noticed when he had gone silent all of a sudden, lost in his thoughts. “What ails you, brother?” Thor sounded concerned as he frowned.

“Pardon me, brother. I didn’t mean for it to happen.” Loki looked down into his palms and then back at Thor. “Remember when I told you about my psychological problems yesterday?” When Thor nodded, he continued. “Sometimes I lose myself in thoughts, and I don’t hear my surroundings. It’s like.. I’m detached from reality. Thankfully so far it only happened while I was in my room, alone. I never intend for it to happen while in the presence of others. I apologize for it occurring now.” 

“Never apologize for your health, brother.” Thor lay a hand over Loki’s shoulder and squeezed. “If there is anything I can do to help, will you let me know?”

“I appreciate your concern brother.” He put his hand over Thor’s and gave him a warm smile. “The only thing that would help me is having my seiðr be functional again, then I can work on healing myself.” He sighed, dropping his hand and looking into his lap. “The Mortals have done a tremendous work in healing me from the day I was brought here. But they cannot do anything about the damage of the mind.” He raised his eyes to meet Thor’s. “Emily had suggested talking to a mind healer, they call them psychologists in this realm. I agreed to it, though I am confident that talking will not help me. I need magical help to heal.”

“What about the sorcerer? Have you considered him?” Thor asked, an idea suddenly forming in his head.

“I have thought about it. Haven’t had the chance to ask Pepper to contact him.”

“We can go to him now.”

“I gave the little Stark my word, brother.” Loki smiled. “Tomorrow?”

Thor nodded. “Tomorrow it is, then. Besides, it’s dangerous to let the Guardians alone in the Tower.” He chuckled and Loki did as well.

“How about we join them, and I go bring Morgan?” Loki suggested.

“I think that’s a wonderful idea.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By the way, I posted the 1st chapter of the other story *innocent look* it's called The Apology. Give it a read if you want?  
> Your comments are the food for my soul, by the way. Just so you know <3


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for a playdate!

None of the Guardians, nor Thor had ever had a playdate before. While the initial idea was to only include Thor, Rocket and Groot in their playdate, the rest of the Guardians decided to join in as well, since they had nothing better to do. Morgan was pretty excited about playing with so many people. Though the main source of excitement for her right now were Rocket and Groot. She kept hugging Rocket like he was a stuffed toy and the raccoon kept grumbling and trying to get as far away from her as possible, only to be glared at by Loki and coming back to the girl.

Groot found her to be tolerable. While she didn’t understand why he kept repeating ‘I am Groot’ every time he spoke, they managed to find a common language. At some point they had moved from the Avengers’ level to the penthouse, because that’s where Morgan had her toys. They played video games, tea party, alien attack, Iron Maiden protecting the little raccoon from bad guys. Loki felt quite pleased to have made her day so exciting. At some point he sat on the floor watching her play a video game with Groot, completely immersed in the game. A soft smile spread on his face as he thought of how much he adored the little girl, even though she wasn’t even his, nor was she remotely related to him.

Soon Morgan was bored with the video game and wanted to play hide and seek. While the adults tried to convince her that it was impossible for them to hide properly due to their size, and Drax boasting yet again about mastering the ability to become invisible, Morgan insisted on playing. Naturally, everyone caved in once Loki glared at them. He seemed to be doing a lot of that today. Thor grinned when he saw his brother’s authoritative nature coming back to surface.

Everyone took turns in covering their eyes, some of them feeling ridiculous when it was their turn and informing everyone about it. Mantis found the game amusing, though she always got caught first due to her antennae poking out from wherever she would be hiding.

When it was Morgan’s turn to cover her eyes, everyone took a hiding place and waited as she counted to ten.

“Ready or not, here I come!” she declared and opened her eyes. The living room was empty. She looked behind the couch, underneath it -like any of them would fit there- and behind the curtains. She frowned when she couldn’t find anyone. She went to the kitchen and walked out feeling disappointed. 

Once she got out of the kitchen, she saw a movement in the corridor and darted to its direction. She first went into her mother’s room at the far end of the corridor, opened the door and walked in. Nothing. She groaned in frustration and left the room, pulling the door shut with force and went to the next room, which happened to be her own. When she opened the door, she saw from the corner of her eye Groot coming out of another bedroom down the hall and rushing towards Home Base.

“I see you!” she yelped and ran after him. Groot yelped as well and ran into the living room. Her tiny feet carried her as fast as she could, and once she reached the living room she accidentally tripped and fell face-forward to the floor, hitting her forehead on the tiles and shrieking in pain as she started crying.

As soon as he heard the shriek, Loki darted out of the room he was hiding in and dropped next to Morgan, who was sitting on the floor and Groot next to her, worry written all over his face. “Morgan, what happened?” Loki asked as he took her in his arms.

She kept crying and wrapped her arms tightly around Loki’s neck. She mumbled something, which he didn’t understand. So he just rubbed her back in circular motions as he held her tightly. “Shh, it’s alright. I’m here, little one.” His heart was beating so frantically, he thought he might have a heart attack right at that moment. “It’s alright, I’m here.”

Everyone quickly gathered around them while Morgan kept wailing in Loki’s arms. He looked at his brother with panic in his eyes, not really knowing what to do other than holding her. Thor gave him an encouraging smile and nodded, letting him know he was doing exactly what she needed right now.

Loki continued talking to her softly, promising her that it will be alright and that he was there for her. The Guardians slowly stepped away from them, since there was not much for them to do.

“What happened?” Mantis asked Groot.

“I am Groot. I am Groot.” Groot looked at his feet as he spoke.

“It was an accident, it’s not your fault.” Thor told him.

“I am Groot.” He frowned and went to Loki’s side. “I am Groot.” He said softly, placing a hand over Morgan’s shoulder.

“It’s alright, little Groot.” Loki said, “She’s simply a bit upset right now. It was an accident and not your fault.” He gave the tree a little smile. Groot nodded and slowly went to sit down on the sofa, still feeling guilty.

Loki returned his full attention to Morgan. He pressed his lips to the side of her head and placed a soft kiss over her temple. “I’m here, my Iron Maiden. I will protect you.” He whispered. Morgan slowly stopped crying, the sobs not completely disappearing just yet. She pulled away from the hug and wiped her eyes, her tiny sobs coming out as little hiccups. Loki saw a bump forming on her forehead. “Oh dear, what have we here.” He said, gently brushing her hair off her face.

“It hurts.” She said between sobs.

He wiped her cheeks with his thumb and smiled at her. “Will it help if I try kissing it better?”

She shrugged, pouting. “Maybe.”

Loki smiled. “Let’s try then.” He gently kissed the swelling on her forehead and then looked at her. “And?”

She shook her head. “Still hurts.” She sniffed.

“Well, I think I need to kiss it a couple more time and then I will put a magical spell on it, but it takes some time to take effect. Probably until tomorrow. Is that okay?” When she nodded, he gently kissed the swelling a couple more times and then had her sit on his thigh. He put his palm over her forehead, and while he knew his seiðr was not working, he still whispered a healing incantation. More for Morgan’s benefit, so she could see that he put a healing spell on her. A green light shone under his palm, though it did not do anything. Just like the one time he tried it on his legs. It was worth a try anyway. Morgan’s eyes were glued to his glowing palm, her mouth opened in a little ‘o’. “Now it’s done. All we need to do now is wash your face, wrap a bandage over it and then have dinner. And by tomorrow morning it will be gone. Morgan closed her mouth and nodded at him. Loki took her into his arms again, holding her tight as he stood up and carried her to the bathroom to wash her face. Once done, he thought whether he should take her to the medical facility or not. He decided against it. “FRIDAY, can you run a check up on Morgan please? She fell and hit her forehead.” He set Morgan on the side of the sink and turned the water on.

“Running diagnostics.” The AI replied and went silent for a minute before she continued. “Everything seems fine aside from the swelling forming on her forehead. Her heart rate is a little bit elevated, but it slowing down to a normal rate as we speak. The swelling should subside in a day or two if pressure is applied.”

“Thank you, FRIDAY.” He turned to Morgan. “See, the spell is already working.” He smiled as he grabbed a towel and ran it under the warm water. He then gently started wiping her face.

“FRIDAY, is Emily still at work?” he asked.

“She is.”

“Could you inform her about what happened and ask her to come up with a bandage or something?”

“Done.”

“Thank you.” He finished wiping Morgan’s face and then proceeded to wipe her hands and knees with the wet towel. “So when Emily comes, she’ll probably give you a cool bandage around your head.”

“Like the one she had?”

“Exactly.” He grinned, though inwardly he winced at the memory. After all, he was the one that caused the injury underneath that bandage. But he was glad that was in the past now.

“Cool.” She smiled.

“Oh Norns, have mercy! That smile is beautiful!” he dramatically clutched at his heart and made an even more dramatic face, which made Morgan giggle. He grinned at her and tossed the towel into the washing basket and picked her up again, hugging her as he walked out of the bathroom. “I’m glad you’re feeling better, little one.”

“I love you, Loki” she mumbled against his shoulder.

He froze in his steps, moved her around in his arms so he could look at her face. Never, ever had he heard these words spoken to him from someone other than Thor and his mother in such a sincerity. While he was unsure of the complexity of his feelings in general, this little confession from this particular little girl melted his Jotunn heart into a puddle of warm goo. “And I you, Morgan.” He told her sincerely and hugged her tightly. Yep, it was official, he would give his life to this child who was not even his.

With a big smile on his face, he took her back to the living room and at that moment Emily walked out of the elevator along with Pepper. Both women ran to Loki and Morgan, Pepper taking her from him and holding her tightly in her arms.

“Oh baby I came as soon as I heard. Are you alright? Anywhere hurting?” she asked as she hugged her child.

“Only my fohead. But Loki put magic on it and said it will be good tomorrow.”

“Magic?” Emily turned to him with a raised eyebrow. He shrugged, grinning.

“Will you let Emily have a look?” Pepper asked and Morgan nodded her agreement.

“Loki said it needs to be wrapped tightly, like Emily, so magic would work.” She said.

“Yeah, let’s see about that kiddo.” Emily said and took the child from Pepper’s arms and carried her over to the couch. In reality there was no need for a bandage, as the swelling wasn’t discoloured and not bigger than a coin. It will definitely subside by the morning. But to play along, she took out a bandage and wrapped it around Morgan’s head. “And done. Loki, is this good enough for the spell to work?”

Loki approached them and knelt before the child, looking at her head seriously. Morgan was watching him with curiosity. “Hmm, I believe so. I will need to seal the spell with another kiss, though. May I?” he addressed her and Morgan nodded eagerly. He placed a kiss on her forehead and smiled at her. “There, the spell is set and by the morning the swelling will be gone.”

“Yay!” she raised her arms in excitement and grinned.

Pepper was smiling at the interaction between Loki and her daughter. It was heart-warming.

“You know, little one, Groot is thinking it was his fault.” Loki whispered to her, turning to look at Groot who sat on the other side of the sofa, still looking guilty.

“What? Groot didn’t do anything! I tripped!” she turned to look at him. “You’re silly!”

“I am Groot.” He replied, chin held up.

“I still don’t know what you said.” She shrugged.

Groot rolled his eyes and sat a bit closer to her. “I am Groot.” He mumbled.

“Well, first he said he’s not silly. He also says he’d like to stay friends with you.” Loki translated for her.

“I want you to be my friend too.” She replied and a huge grin broke onto Groot’s face.

“Honey, how about you and Groot go play in your bedroom until dinner is ready?” Pepper asked.

“Groot, come, I’ll show you my new toys!” she hopped off the couch and ran to her room, Groot following closely.

Loki stood up and faced Pepper. “Pepper, I’m so sorry. We were playing hide and seek, and..”

“Loki, it’s okay.” She smiled, “she’s a child. Children fall all the time. And besides, from what FRIDAY told me, you did very well. So, thank you.”

“I didn’t even know what I was doing. It just felt the right thing to do.” He rubbed the back of his neck, feeling awkward.

“Not only handsome and strong, but also compassionate. Quill, you’re out of the competition.” Drax suddenly announced.

“What competition?” Quill huffed.

“Don’t start again, you two!” Rocket warned.

“He started it!” Quill said, pointing at Drax.

“Okay,” Pepper clapped her hands together once, ending whatever argument the Guardians were about to start, “let’s order some dinner. FRIDAY, place an order for burgers and fries, please. Along with refreshments.”

“Sure, boss.” The AI responded promptly. “Food will be delivered in half an hour from now.”

“Perfect.” She turned to the people around her, “I’ll go freshen up, feel free to raid the bar if you want to.”

Quill and Thor didn’t need to be told twice as they headed directly to the bar, grabbing themselves a drink. Quill making a drink for Gamora as well when she joined them.

“I’ll get back to work.” Emily said, gathering the rest of the medical supplies she had brought along. “I’m not sure if I’ll see you guys tomorrow before you leave, got to work at the hospital.”

“It was nice seeing you again.” Mantis said, giving her a hug and her antennae glowed.

“Mantis, you’re reading me again.” Emily scolded lightly, smile on her face.

“Can’t help it. But you know,” she leaned in for a whisper, “you do like him.” She grinned at Emily.

“I don’t, okay?” Emily’s cheeks felt warm, “you stay safe up there.”

“I will. You too, down here.”

Emily said her goodbyes to the Guardians, and then waved at Thor and Loki. “See you guys later, I guess?”

“Probably.” Loki said with a nod and a smile.

Once Emily left, Morgan came running to the living room holding a paper in her tiny hands. “Where’s Emily?” she asked, looking at the adults in the room.

“She went to work, honey.” Pepper came back to the living room and kneeled in front of her daughter, taking her into her arms.

“Aw, too bad. I had this for her.” She leaned against Pepper and showed her mother a drawing of two distorted female stick figures, with what seemed to be bandages over their heads and holding hands with big toothy grins on their faces.

“Is that you and Emily?” Pepper asked, amused at the drawing.

“Yeah!” 

“That looks amazing! Well done, honey! We’ll give it to Emily next time she comes over, okay?” when Morgan nodded excitedly, Pepper brushed her hair off her shoulders, “now why don’t you go put that somewhere safe and I’ll come help you wash your hands before dinner? We’ll be having burgers and fries.”

“Yay!” Morgan exclaimed and ran back to her room.

Drax observed the exchange between mother and daughter, with a fond look on his face. “Your relationship with your daughter is beautiful.” He said as he walked over to her. “I wish I had more time with mine.”

“I’m sure she would have loved that.” Pepper said, empathizing with him as she looked towards the corridor through which Morgan had ran to her room. “I wish Morgan had more time with Tony.”

-*-*-*-*-*-

Dinner had arrived on time and everyone was seated around the dinning table and stuffing their faces. There was small talk, compliments on the taste as the mountain of burgers set in the middle of the table got smaller and smaller. Morgan was feeling ecstatic. Not only had she had the best playdate ever, she had also gotten her favorite food for dinner! Loki smiled fondly as he watched her eat excitedly.

“You know, brother,” Thor leaned in to whisper, “I believe when the time comes, you will be an excellent father.”

“What ever gave you that idea, now?” he raised an eyebrow at Thor, who simply nodded towards Morgan, who was now sipping on her juice box.

“Her.” Thor said.

Loki wanted to respond with something sarcastic, wanted to pretend to be insulted, but as he watched Morgan the smile reappeared on his face instead. “I hope you’re right, brother.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just love Loki taking care of Morgan.
> 
> Thanks for taking the time to read and for all the comments! <3


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone for the lovely comments on the previous chapter!

The Guardians had left the next morning, promising to come back for Thor after they were done with their upcoming mission. Thor was looking forward to it as he had come to love exploring the galaxies with his new friends. He hoped that when the time came, Loki would join him in his new adventures, but that was a talk for another time.

Right now Loki was collecting the few belongings he had at the medical facility, eager to finally move into his new room. He didn’t have much to begin with. Only the clothes on himself, a few pieces of underwear, socks and the sweatpants and t-shirt he used to sleep in. He put them all in a duffle bag he was given by one of the nurses and set the bag aside to neatly make the bed before he left. Once done, he looked around the room that housed him for the past few months, reminiscing on the good and bad that happened within these walls. He wasn’t sure if he would miss it, maybe a little, but he was looking forward to finally start a somewhat normal life.

The afternoon proved to be quite surprising as Pepper showed up at the Avengers floor, followed by a pair of employees. Loki was sitting on the sofa in the living area, reading a book he had borrowed from the library. He put the book aside and stood up when he saw them coming. Pepper was smiling widely at him as she came to stand in front of him.

“Loki, these are Mark and Pamela. If you don’t have anything planned for the afternoon, they will be taking you shopping.” She said, motioning at the two standing not far from her, who looked a bit nervous. Though Mark was also curiously eyeing Loki head to toe.

“And after you’re done with that, I’d like to see you tonight for dinner. We were supposed to meet up a couple of days ago to talk about your options, and it just never happened.” She smiled at him, as that evening was when Thor and the Guardians had arrived unannounced. Then she turned to the one named Mark, who handed her an envelope. “Oh, and this is for you.” She handed the envelope to Loki, who looked inside and took out two cards. “A temporary New Asgardian ID card until we get the paperwork done for your biometrics and signature to get you the permanent one along with a passport, and a temporary Stark Industries credit card. Once you have your own income you can get yourself a new one, if you choose to do so.”

“I.. don’t know what to say. This is quite generous of you.” He chuckled awkwardly. “Thank you, Pepper.”

“It’s nothing.” She waved a hand. “I’ll go back to work now. You have fun!”

And with that, she left, leaving Loki standing with two nervous looking employees. Loki stared at them for a moment, as if it was a match to see who would blink first. Any other time he would have done something to scare the lights out of them, just for fun. But they were supposed to take him shopping, and since he didn’t know the city, he was basically at their mercy, so he decided to behave. For now.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mark, Pamela.” He said in a formal yet friendly tone, slightly inclining his head in greeting.

“Hi..” they mumbled nervously. That greeting was not what they had expecting from the person who had attacked their city and tried to concur their world a few years back.

Mark was quick to recover and straightened up a bit, holding his head high like the diligent assistant that he was. “Mr. Odinson, we are supposed to help you shop for clothing. Between Pamela and myself, there’s basically no unknown clothing store in New York city that we don’t know of.”

“Do you have any preferred style that we can start with?” it was Pamela who spoke.

Loki shook his head. “I’ve always worn Asgardian garbs and armor. Midgardian clothing is quite different and I’m afraid I’m not quite familiar with any styles you might speak of.”

The two looked at each other and grinned. Loki raised an eyebrow. He recognized that look. Eagerness and excitement, wrapped in a thin blanket of mischief. He wasn’t sure if he should be worried or amused, though he trusted Pepper’s employees not to do anything that would cost them their jobs. So he decided to just go with the flow and see where the day takes him.

The two assistants had taken the reigns on which stores to go to. From mass production to high end fashion stores, they patiently waited on Loki’s every whim. They soon found out that he has a taste for the exquisite and so they kept their destination to the stores on the Fifth Avenue. Mark was having a field day dressing Loki up in the most elegant shirts and pants and even suits, while Pamela took care of finding accessories and shoes to go with whatever clothing sets they decided on. They even made time to sit down at a cafe for some coffee. By the end of the day, they returned to the tower with bags upon bags of new clothes for Loki.

But that was not all. Mark insisted that they help him put the new clothes in the walk-in closet and took it upon himself to colour-coordinate the whole thing. Pamela busied herself folding the pieces of clothing that could be folded without fear of wrinkling and put them on the shelves. There was basically nothing for Loki to do but to watch them work in unison. He wondered what he had done in a past life to earn him such regard by the two Midgardians. By now they were more comfortable around him, they even cracked a couple of jokes while at one of the stores where Loki was trying on business suits and formal attire. He even thought Mark was flirting with him at some point, but he couldn’t be sure. Either way, the day had been successful on all fronts so far. He was hoping dinner with Pepper would put a successful end to the day. Even though he was apprehensive about getting his hopes up, he found it difficult not to do so. Nothing could go wrong today, it seemed. Despite the fact that he probably just jinxed it by simply thinking about it.

While the two assistants were finishing up in the closet, he went to the kitchen and decided to grab some drinks for his little team of fashion warriors. 

“And we’re done!” Mark chirped, clapping his hands as he came to the living room, Pamela following closely.

Loki placed a tray of juice and some snacks on the coffee table. “I appreciate your help.” He said with a polite smile. “I took the liberty of putting together a little snack to end the day with.” He motioned for them to help themselves as he sat down.

Mark didn’t need to be told twice, so he grabbed a glass of juice and sat down next to Loki. Pamela grabbed a glass as well and sat across from them.

“So Mr. Odinson, despite the amount of shopping we have done today, do you plan on staying here long?” Pamela asked, taking a sip of her drink with eyes on Mark, who perked up attentively.

“I do not know yet.” Loki sat back and crossed his legs. “I will have to consult my brother on the matter. While he has abdicated the throne, I am still crown prince.”

“Does it work that way, though? I mean, if he has abdicated and there’s a new king or queen of Asgard, doesn’t that mean you have no claim to the thrown anymore?”

Loki pursed his lips. While he knew her question came from a place of curiosity, the part about having no claim to the thrown stung nonetheless, even if he had absolutely no interest in the crown. In fact, just the thought of it gave him chills. But he still managed a smile as he replied. “Asgardian rules are different than those of Midgard. If I so desire, I can claim the thrown. It’s a matter of politics and a challenge. Also, of desire.”

“So do you want to claim the thrown?” Mark’s eyes were shining with curiosity.

“That is yet to be decided.” Loki smirked. Of course he didn’t want the thrown. He had never truly wanted it, but the curious Midgardian didn’t need to know that.

“I would claim it, if I were you.” Mark said, sipping dreamily on his drink. Loki raised an inquiring eyebrow. “Living in a palace, surrounded by servants, not having to lift a finger. Ah, that’s the life.”

Loki laughed at that, “Oh you little mortal, you have no idea how royal life works. It’s not at all not having to lift a finger as you so eloquently put it.” He took a sip of his own drink and put the glass on the table before him and sat back. “Each member of the royal family has responsibilities. The burden of them all falls, of course, on the shoulders of the king and queen. While we did have a palace full of servants, guards and the like, none of us was sitting idly. There was always something to be done for each and every one of us. Thor, for example, was in charge of training the army. I was raised to be his advisor once he was king, so my tasks were more scholar in nature. I was also the strategist for battles.” He reminisced fondly on the days they fought together. Way before Thor had gotten arrogant and Loki had to put a stop to it by inviting over the Frost Giants. His expression turned grim at the memory of that time. It was when he had discovered he himself was a Frost Giant and was lied to his whole life. His hands started lightly shaking, so he crossed his arms to hide them, putting on a polite smile.

“I didn’t really expect that.” Mark said truthfully. “You don’t get that impression from the royal tabloids around here.”

“You just need to stop reading tabloids.” Pamela rolled her eyes.

“It’s good gossip at the bar!”

“Right.” She glared at him, unimpressed. “Well, mister good gossip, we need to get going. It’s getting late and I have a husband to make dinner for.” She got up.

“Oh you’re no fun.” Mark complained, but stood up as well. 

“It was a pleasure assisting you, Mr. Odinson.” Said Pamela, shaking Loki’s hand and ignoring Mark’s whining.

“Yeah, it was.” Mark said, grinning widely. “I enjoyed your company, a lot.”

“I’m very grateful for your help and advice. It was a splendid day.” Loki shook both their hands and they were on their way.

He cleaned up the table and put the glasses in the sink to wash later. He was supposed to go upstairs in an hour, so he decided to shower and put on some of his new clothes. 

After he was done showering, he dried himself and wrapped the towel around his waist. He grabbed another towel and started drying his hair as he made his way to the closet. Mark and Pamela had done a superb job at organizing it. Jackets hanging together on one side, all colour-coordinated. Same with shirts, then t-shirts. The pants were not only colour-coordinated, but also arranged according to style. Dress pants hanging together, followed by jeans, and a few leather ones as well. Loki had insisted on having a couple of leather pants, which seemed to make Mark blush for some reason. Yeah, he definitely been flirting earlier at the store, Loki thought, highly amused.

He grabbed an olive coloured button up shirt and matched it with black jeans and black shoes. He grabbed a black belt to go with it. Yes, the evening’s attire was ready. He put them on, buckled the belt and rolled up the sleeves to his elbow. Then he went back to the bathroom and finished drying his hair. He looked at his reflection in the mirror, smiling at what he saw. He was finally out of the clothes he’s been constantly wearing like a peasant for the past months. He made a mental note to throw them away later. He didn’t need to see them anymore, ever.

He checked the time and he needed to go upstairs already. Turning off the lights, he headed over to the staircase.

As he walked into the penthouse, a strange smell hit his nostrils. He followed the scent and was lead to the dining table, where two plastic bags stood with boxes inside.

“Good! You’re here!” Pepper said, coming from the kitchen with a bottle of coke in hand. “Looking good in the new clothes! By the way, I ordered us Indian today. Didn’t feel like cooking. It’s chicken masala.” She set the bottle on the table and sat down, motioning for Loki to join her, which he did.

“Thank you. And the food smells good.” He noted with a smile.

“And tastes just as good. Tony used to order from them frequently.” She smiled fondly at the memory as she unpacked the food.

“You rarely speak of him.” Loki probed cautiously. He wasn’t sure if talking about her late husband would trigger something or not. He wanted to be respectful.

“Because I have the feeling I might start crying if I do, and we can’t have the CEO of Stark Industries cry in public.” She poured herself some coke and held the bottle up, asking without words if Loki would like some as well. He pushed his glass towards her and she poured him some too.

“Thank you. And I can relate to that.” He said, bringing his glass closer and unpacked his food. “The part about having a certain image for the public, I mean.”

“I can imagine as a prince, you had to do a lot of crowd pleasing.” She put some rice out of the container onto her plate, and then some of the sauce with the meat on top and started eating.

Loki nodded, mimicking her preparation for the food before he started eating as well. “Yes, both Thor and I had to uphold a certain image before the people of Asgard. We were forbidden to do anything wrong as to not bring shame to the House of Odin.” His nostrils flared as he continued, irritation palpable in his voice. “Never stepping out of line. Never aspire to be anything other than what your parents had planned for you. Those sort of things. And you always smile when addressing the public.” His fingers gripped tightly around the fork in his hand and Pepper noticed it. According to what Thor had told them about Loki rebelling against their father upon finding out he was adopted; what Loki had told her right now, or rather the way he had told it, explained to a small extent on _why_ he had rebelled.

“Speaking of Thor,” she decided to change the subject, hoping with that to distract him from what seemed to be a triggering topic. “I haven’t seen him today at all.”

“Me neither, to be honest.” He was inwardly grateful for the change of subject. He admired the people he has come to call friends for knowing by now what served as a trigger for him. “After the Guardians had left, Banner needed him for something at his lab. Haven’t seen him since. We were even supposed to see the Midgardian sorcerer today, which we both seem to have forgotten about.” He couldn’t believe that he had forgotten the agreement he made with Thor about visiting the sorcerer. Though it was a small consolation that his brother seemed to be preoccupied today as well. At least he got new clothes as a result. They’ll have to visit the wizard another time.

“Must be about something complicated. I would have thought he wouldn’t leave your side.” She smiled.

“I’m actually glad he chose to aid Banner instead of being stuck with me.” He said, playing with his food, “I mean, sure, I have missed him enormously, but I think a little distance is alright. That way neither of us would feel suffocated. When we stay long in each other’s presence.. things tend to happen.” A little grin formed on his lips.

Pepper raised an eyebrow as she bit on a chicken meat. There was a story there, somewhere. “Things, like what?” she asked after swallowing.

Loki went on telling her about the times he used to prank Thor, which most of the time ended up with Loki stabbing him in one way or another. Just to get Thor off his back, or just because he felt like it. Pepper didn’t know whether she should be amused or terrified by the fact, but Loki seemed to enjoy himself while telling the stories, so it was all good.

When he finished the story telling, he took a sip of his coke and set the glass aside. “Pepper, about the topic we’re supposed to be discussing for a while now..” he chuckled.

“Oh yes!” she put her fork down and propped her forearms against the table, crossing her fingers before her. “I hear you are looking for something to do.”

“Indeed.” He nodded, “When I don’t have anything to do, chaos ensues.” He chuckled, “But also, I want to be able to earn my living. And pay you back for your generosity.”

Pepper reached up to him and placed a hand on his bicep. “First of all, Loki, in the House of Stark, friends do not pay back.” She smiled and sat back. “As for wanting to earn your living, I’m totally on board with that. Wouldn’t really want to find out what your version of chaos looks like. Morgan gives me enough chaos as is.” She giggled.

Loki was floored. A huge grin covered his face upon her mentioning him being a friend of the House of Stark. Never in his life would he have ever imagined being considered a friend to any of the Avengers, let alone to the wife of the late Anthony Stark. The man he literally threw out of the window of the very same building he was going to start to call home. He felt appreciated and humbled by the notion.

“I can safely say we are lucky I do not have my magic at the moment. It would have made the chaos be much worse.” He chuckled. “But that aside,” he looked at her with a warm smile. “I really appreciate your friendship. I must say I have never had true friends of my own, and I am honoured to have you, Emily, even Banner as my friends.”

“As shocking as it may seem, we’re happy to have you here, Loki” she smiled back. “Now tell me, do you have anything in mind that you would like to do?”

“Without my magic I only have my fighting skills, my brain and my Silvertongue. Bruce wanted me to work with him in the lab. While science is interesting, it does not have enough activity for me. It wouldn’t hold my interest for long.”

“Okay, so basically it needs to be something dynamic. Not strictly physically or mentally active, but a little bit of everything.”

“Precisely.”

“I think I might have something for you.” She sat back as she finished her dish. “Two job titles and a possible third one in the future, actually. For starters, a consultant and a tutor. And if things go well, a position in the PR team. Silvertongue would be very useful there.”

Loki was intrigued. “What do the first two entail? And tutoring whom?”

“A consultant at Stark Industries, answering to me directly. We can think of what you would be consulting about at a later point. But I feel you would do well in that kind of a position. It’s usually quite dynamic, a lot of research and meetings. Rarely working at the same spot twice. You get to make your own schedule, work from wherever you want, unless you’re meeting with people. How does that sound so far?”

“Interesting enough to give it a try.” He grinned. It was very close to what he had been trained for his whole life on Asgard. Being the younger prince, he would have had the role of the king’s advisor. A consultant didn’t seem that much different from it.

“Good. As for the tutoring, well, it’s for Morgan. Jess does the babysitting when I am not home, helps her with her homework. But I’ve been wanting for her to learn more. She’s a unique child with advanced understanding for her age. I blame Tony for that.” She chuckled. “He used to take her to the workshop with him and tell her everything he was doing. In detail.” She shook her head. “It did have its advantages in shaping her mind, but the school cannot catch up with her and it’s becoming too boring for her, and we can’t have that. Besides, I see how the two of you enjoy each other’s company, and you’re really good with her.”

“Even though I am not sure what exactly I would be tutoring her in, I am definitely willing to be her tutor.” He grinned widely. Maybe he would be a glorified babysitter to the younger Stark, but it didn’t matter. He could teach her to utilize her wits, for starters, not that she needed much tutoring in that department. But there were a lot of things a child wouldn’t learn at school. He could find something. This turned out a much better option than anything he could have come up with. He loved the kid and spending time with her was an absolute delight!

Yes, the day had definitely been concluded on a positive note as he had been hoping.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loki FINALLY gets some new clothes lol
> 
> And [this](https://www.instagram.com/p/CA3KfiBo24A/) is the inspiration to what Loki put on for dinner with Pepper.
> 
> As always, looking forward to hear your thoughts <3


	22. Chapter 22

An appointment was scheduled for Loki to go through a solicitation process at Stark Industries. It was bureaucracy and needed to be done, even though he already had the job. Another appointment was set with the New Asgardian embassy, to have his biometrics taken for his permanent identification papers. Thor thought it a tedious process and Loki should get the paperwork sent to him, but Loki wanted to do it the way all Asgardians would be doing, if they were residing anywhere outside of New Asgard, which was not the case. They kept to their little village and only going out of its borders for trade or business. Another appointment was scheduled for Loki in a week with a psychologist. While Thor found it to be unnecessary, now that he was there to take care of his younger brother, Loki insisted that he will be going nonetheless. If anything, he had agreed to Emily to give it a try.

The two brothers were becoming practically inseparable. Even when Bruce would ask for Thor’s help at the lab, Loki would tag along. He absorbed the information like a sponge. It had also been a pleasant surprise to see Thor holding a mature conversation that didn’t involve battle strategies or monster hunting. They also tried to have times apart, just so they wouldn’t end up at each other’s throat. So far, it was working.

There was another thing that Loki had noticed about Thor when he had arrived with the Guardians, which kept nagging at him though he hadn’t pointed it out so far. Thor hadn’t mentioned anything about it either, so Loki was curious. His brother looked bulkier than Loki remembered him, and it wasn’t all muscles. Sure, his brother was still as muscular as ever, but there seemed to be an extra layer on him. And the rounded stomach. If anything, Thor was almost resembling Volstagg in shape, though only almost. Volstagg was bigger in size. Maybe twice or three times Thor’s current size. Loki wondered what had happened and where Thor had gotten that bulk onto himself. Had he stopped training while travelling with the Guardians? Though it couldn’t be. According to what he’d been told, Thor had only joined the Guardians about two-three months ago. And that much weight is impossible for an Asgardian to put on in such a short period of time.

One day while they were lounging in the living room on the Avengers’ floor, Loki turned to his brother with a calculating look on his face. Thor looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

“Is there something bothering you, brother?” Thor asked.

“Not bothering me, in terms of speaking, but I am curious.” Loki leaned back on the sofa, crossing his legs and folding his arms as he kept staring at Thor.

“Curious about what?”

“You.” Loki stated.

“What about me?”

“You’re different.”

“Of course I’m different, Loki. I’m five years older now.” He laughed, getting up and heading over to the mini-fridge at the bar and took out two bottles of beer. He handed one to Loki before he went to sit down on the armchair he was occupying earlier and twisted the cap open. “People grow up, they change. It’s natural.”

Loki put the bottle on the coffee table before him, unopened, and resumed his previous sitting position. “You’re fat.” He went for the jugular, instead of beating around the bushes and giving Thor an easy way out.

Thor snorted at Loki’s blunt directness. “I’m not fat.” He took a large gulp of his beer. “I’m the same as you remember. I just grew in size. It’s all muscle. Five years, growing up, remember?” he chuckled uncomfortably, his mind racing at where the conversation was going. He didn’t want to remember those days. “I’m not fat! You’re fat!” Well, isn’t that just great. They were going back to being kids now, throwing names at each other, it seemed. Why did Loki have to bring up those memories? He was back, and alive, for Valhalla’s sake! Thor didn’t want anything more than wipe those five years away, alas that was impossible.

But Loki wouldn’t have it. He wouldn’t fall for the taunt. That was Thor’s field of expertise and never his. “How did it happen? And more importantly, why?”

“Told you, I grew up.” Thor shrugged, drinking his beer and looking to a corner of the living room that all of a sudden was very important, avoiding Loki’s gaze.

“You have always been fit, brother.” Loki sighed, “I do not mean to insult. I’m merely curious as to how this came to be.”

Thor set his now empty bottle on the coffee table and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. He sighed as he leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees, then leaned back when his stomach didn’t really allow for a comfortable position. Maybe he had gained a little bit of weight, but he wasn’t fat!

“It was after the snap.” He finally said, his voice melancholic. He knew his brother wasn’t going to drop it unless he had gotten an answer, a satisfying one at that. And he wasn’t as good as lying or making stuff up on the go as Loki was. “Remember how I told you about moving to New Asgard and helping with setting it up?”

“I do.”

“Well, the setting up on my part lasted maybe a month. After that, I simply..” he ran his hand over his beard, scratching at his jaw in a nervous manner. “I simply gave up.” He sighed, letting his hand drop to the armrest. “I was depressed. I gave up on life, Loki. I spent five years in my little cottage drinking myself into oblivion. It was only because of Korg and Miek that I stayed alive. They occasionally needed my help dealing with the Noobmaster69. And a little bit for Valkyrie. So I needed to be there for them.”

Thor depressed? Giving up on life? He didn’t even care who or what a Noobmaster69 was. Loki’s expression turned from calculating to downright worried. He uncrossed his legs and moved on the sofa to sit closer to his brother. “Why give up?” he asked softly. There was no accusation in his voice, only concern.

Thor shrugged, smiling awkwardly. “I had lost you.” He looked down onto his lap.

Loki’s head was spinning. The words hit him so hard it basically sent him into a hurricane of emotions he didn’t know how to deal with. Thor’s love for him was unrivalled. The same went for Loki’s love for his brother. Sure, like every sibling out there they had their differences, but that’s what siblings did. It came with the description. It was mandatory, even. But even with their differences, if there was one thing Loki was more than confident about, was Thor’s love and loyalty for him and vice versa.

“Brother, I am very sorry to have caused you all that.” Loki said softly, reaching for Thor and laying a slightly trembling palm over his forearm and squeezing a bit. Loki was doing his best to keep his anxiety at bay, for the sake of his brother. “I truly am.”

Thor nodded, looking at Loki and smiling fondly. “I know, brother.” He tapped on Loki’s hand twice and got up. “I think I’ll go chase some clouds for a bit. I..” he looked at the windows, the midday sun was shining.

Loki stood up as well and followed Thor’s line of sight. “Do that, brother. I’ll be here waiting for you.” 

Thor turned to face Loki, a warm smile on his face. “Thank you, brother.” He raised both his arms and both Mjolnir and Stormbreaker flew from their place under the TV and into his hands. Loki smirked at the show as Thor walked towards the elevator, heading to the roof of the building.

Loki took his unopened beer bottle back to the mini-fridge and heard thunder roaring. So Thor was off to somewhere and will possibly be gone for a while, maybe until the end of the day. That gave Loki enough time to get bored, which he planned on not doing. Morgan was at school today, and everyone was working. He needed distraction before his anxiety took full hold on him.

He leaned over the bar counter thinking about what to do, while at the same time focusing on his breathing. The options were endless, though two were more prominently high up his mind. Going for a walk and hoping to bump into the young man from the other day. What was his name? Oh yes, Peter. He would like to thank him once again for his help and maybe get some more information about how he came to be at the battlefield with the Avengers. That seemed like a good distraction.

His other option was to find the wizard and see if he can help him restore his magic. Although, he figured the wizard wouldn’t even consider letting him into his home, if their last encounter was any indication. Maybe he should do that with Thor. Yes, better wait for Thor and go see the wizard together.

For the time being he decided to lay down on the sofa and watch some television. He felt like watching a concert of that singer he liked listening to while staying at the medical facility. Music was calming, so it would help. Emily had shown him how to open up the place called YouTube on the device and how to search for whatever he wants to watch. He reached for the remote control on the coffee table, almost rolling off the sofa in the process, but he caught himself in time. Good thing nobody was around to see him in that unfortunate position of hanging between sofa and table. He opened up the YouTube app on the TV and started typing “Bryan Adams, concert, live” and pressed on search. Seconds later there were several clips on the screen, some as short as four minutes and some an hour or two. He chose one of the longer ones and tossed the remote aside as he watched the concert.

-*-*-*-*-*-

“Mister Odinson, you have visitors. ETA five minutes.” FRIDAY announced, her voice soft as to not startle him.

Loki didn’t move. He had fallen asleep on the sofa while watching the concert. The video had long ended and now was playing a random clip from another concert by Bryan Adams. He only stirred, turned around in his sleep and was now facing the back of the sofa.

“Mister Odinson, you might want to wake up for this.” The AI repeated two minutes later, setting her volume a bit higher, but not much. Loki still didn’t wake up. “Mister Odinson.. Loki.”

The AI couldn’t wake him up, and there was no DUM-E or Buttercup on the floor to come and nudge him awake. So she relayed the message that he wasn’t responding.

Soon the door to the staircase opened and Morgan came running with Hugo after her, followed by Emily who tried to keep the two from startling Loki into waking up.

Morgan stopped next to the sofa, staring at Loki’s back. Then she turned to look at Emily. “He’s asleep. Should I wake him?” she whispered innocently.

Emily smiled at the little girl. “ I told you he was. So maybe not yet? Let’s go back and we can come a bit later.” She looked at Loki’s sleeping form. His shirt had risen up around his back, revealing a bit of skin, marred with scars. She remembered those from the numerous times dressing him while he stayed at the medical facility. “Come, let’s go.” She stretched her hand for Morgan to hold it, but the girl just stood there. Hugo was too impatient, it seemed, aa he went to nuzzle at the back of Loki’s neck.

The dog then put its paws on the edge of the sofa and lifted itself up, nudging at Loki’s ear and reaching to lick his cheek. Loki’s shoulders tensed, though he remained motionless. The licking continued for a moment, but Emily quickly pulled Hugo away.

“Hugo, no!” she whispered, a bit more harshly than intended. “Come, let him sleep. We’ll come back later.” She held on to Hugo’s collar and took Morgan’s hand in the other as she led them towards the door.

Loki wiped his cheek and turned to lay on his back. He wondered what it was that caused his cheek to suddenly get wet. Was the ceiling leaking? He looked up, but it was dry. Weird.

As he sat up he saw the trio retreating towards the door. The sound of the fabric shifting on the sofa made Hugo turn his head and bark once, wagging his tale happily. “Hugooo..” Emily scolded in a whisper. “You’ll wake him up!” she turned around and saw Loki looking at them groggily from the sofa. “Oops..” she said, giving him an apologetic look and a wave of her hand, which he returned with a sleepy smile.

“He’s awake!” Morgan twisted her arm out of Emily’s grip and ran to Loki. She straight jumped onto his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck. “You’re awake! We can go for walkies together!”

Loki chuckled at the sudden attack, but welcomed it nonetheless. “I’m afraid I need to wake up first, little one.” He said as he hugged her.

Emily walked back in and let go of Hugo’s collar, who ran to Loki and hopped over the sofa to sit up straight between Loki’s legs. “Hello, my friend.” Loki greeting the dog and reaching with one hand to scratch him behind the ears. Hugo welcomed the scratch and squeezed himself into Loki’s embrace, right next to Morgan. Loki laughed as he tried to keep himself from falling back onto the sofa, but wrapped an arm around Hugo as well. “Well, if there was any way one would prefer to wake up, this here is my favorite.” He mumbled, smiling fondly as he lay a kiss on Morgan’s temple.

“Come on, let’s go.” Morgan said, pulling away from the hug. “Hugo needs to go potty.”

“Well, we cannot have him wait for long, now, can we.” He grinned. “I just need to change clothes. May I do that, my fair maiden?”

“I’ll allow it.” The child grinned and wiggled herself off of him, Hugo following her closely.

Emily was watching the interaction with her arms crossed over her chest and a fond amusement in her eyes. Loki looked at her, mirroring the smile. “Hello.” He greeted.

“Hi. Sorry for waking you up like that.” She replied, taking a seat on an armchair and put Hugo’s leash next to her, between her thigh and the armrest.

He straightened up his shirt and turned to sit up straight, legs on the floor. “It’s alright. I hadn’t planned on falling asleep. The music was too relaxing it seems.” He motioned towards the TV, which was playing another video by now.

She turned to look at the TV, “Ooh Bryan Adams! Classic!” then turned back to Loki with an excited smile, “didn’t know you’re interested in rock.”

“Rock? Is that the type of music he makes?” 

“Yep.” She nodded. “If you’re interested, I can show you more of the genre. There are some timeless gems out there and even great new performers.”

“I’d love that.” He grinned. He didn’t know if he would like any other performer in said genre, but for the sake of spending some time with Emily, any genre would be just as good.

Wait.. what?

He filed that thought under ‘things to think about later’ and shoved it into a back corner of his mind. 

“Are you going to change or not?” Morgan came back to complain, hands over her hips with a raised eyebrow on her face.

“Yes, my lady, of course! I won’t be long.” He gave Emily an apologetic shrug and rushed to his room to change into appropriate clothes.

A few minutes later he came back, dressed in a dark grey hooded jacket and a blue t-shirt underneath, along with dark jeans and dark grey shoes. It felt nice to have a selection of colours in his Midgardian wardrobe, as opposed to the one he had in Asgard which consisted of his signature colours of green, gold, silver and black. Well, he had those in his bedroom as a reminder of who he used to be, and he liked it that way. Now he was an immortal Midgardian on his way for ‘walkies’, as Morgan had put it.

Emily stood up as Loki returned, nodding her approval at his attire. “Looking good there, all smart and casual.” She grinned.

“Thank you.” Loki chuckled, suddenly self-conscious as he ran his hand through his hair. “Pepper’s assistants were quite helpful.”

“They do have an eye for fashion.” She tapped on her thigh and Hugo got up from where he was laying and came to her side. Morgan was standing near the elevator, fidgeting, but waiting for them. Seeing that, Emily rolled her eyes. “Morgan? Do you need the bathroom?”

“Yeah, no! We need to go walkies!” she replied.

Both Emily and Loki giggled at the child. “Okay, Hugo tells me he won’t go unless you first go to the bathroom.” She turned to Loki, “Is it okay if she uses one here instead of going upstairs?”

“Of course, she can use the one in my room.” He motioned towards the hallway leading to the bedrooms.

“You’re an angel. Thanks!” she smiled and went over to Morgan. “Come on, young lady, first bathroom and then walkies.”

Morgan took Emily’s hand and they went to Loki’s room. Emily hadn’t been here after the first time she came with him and Pepper when Loki was having a look at the place. It looked much different than the way it had been furnished for Thor. It had a certain feel to it that she couldn’t put a name on. And it was neatly organized even! She didn’t expect a man’s room to be this organized, especially when they were single and weren’t living with their parents.

After helping Morgan in the bathroom and washing their hands, they came back to the living room and saw Loki sitting on the floor with Hugo, giving him belly rubs. Emily’s heart warmed up to that. As friendly and playful as Hugo was, he didn’t allow belly rubs to just anyone. Only a handful of people would be allowed that amount of trust. She was pleased to see that Loki was added to that very exclusive and short list.

“Time to go!” Morgan announced and Loki turned to look at them. With a big smile on his face, he stood up and straightened his clothes, then offered his hand to the little girl. “May I, my fair maiden?”

“Yes, you may.” She said, making a sweet face as she dramatically put her little hand in his palm.

Emily shook her head at the theatrics and tapped at her thigh again and Hugo went to her side. “Let’s get going then.” She grabbed his leash from where she had left on the couch earlier.

“Oh, one moment please. FRIDAY, when Thor comes back please let him know where I am, in case he wants to join us.” He spoke to one of the sensors.

“Will do, Mister Odinson. Have a nice afternoon.”

“Thank you.” All three replied in unison.

“So where is Thor?” Emily asked as they stepped into the elevator.

“Probably blowing off some steam somewhere. We had a little talk earlier in the day.” Loki explained.

“Everything okay?”

“Oh yes, I believe so.” He nodded. He was sure things were okay between him and Thor. Though how things were with Thor himself, he wasn’t really sure. He will need to talk to his brother again and smooth things out in case he was deeply insulted by being called fat. He was just stating a fact, nothing more! Since when did Thor become so sensitive? Well, pot calling the kettle black, something Midgardians said when one was being a hypocrite. He himself has turned soft in the past couple of months. He had noticed it, and in fact, as surprising as it was, he didn’t really mind it. Maybe he should have put that silvertongue of his into use and worded his observation more carefully instead of being blunt about it. Yes, an apology to his brother was in order. He will do that when he sees him later.

He was definitely turning soft. He didn’t mind it, but he wasn’t sure he liked it either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wheee they're going for walkies!
> 
> And Loki's [look](https://www.instagram.com/p/CAaBWUNFDGZ/) for going out today.


	23. Chapter 23

By the entrance of the tower, Emily had put the leash on Hugo’s collar and the four of them started walking towards the park. Morgan was quite giddy about going out to walk Hugo and was eager to get her hands on the leash. She wasn’t allowed to do so while they were on the streets, because it was crowded and she was supposed to hold the hand of an adult. But once at the park, she would be allowed to take the reigns and she was looking forward to it.

As soon as they reached the park, Morgan started jumping in excitement. Emily laughed as she handed her Hugo’s leash and Loki let go of her hand as she walked ahead of them, Hugo walking at her side and only going to the side to sniff around and do his business.

Loki and Emily walked side by side, both smiling at Morgan and how she walked the dog. Hugo was well trained and wouldn’t pay attention to other dogs passing by. But even so, Emily was on high alert. While Hugo was well trained, it didn’t mean other dogs would be as well. Especially if they were much younger. And with Morgan being the one walking him, Emily needed to be able to reach her before something happened.

They ventured deeper into the park, until they reached an open space. Loki hadn’t been here before, so he looked around, taking in as much details as possible, simply out of habit. It was nothing like the parts of the park he had already been to. It was a grand round space, with benches surrounding it at every few feet. On one side there were slides and swings, and some other constructions for children to play. On another side was the dog playing area with several equipment designed for dog activities. Morgan automatically headed to that direction and only stopping a few feet away from the equipment before turning to Emily.

“Can I take the leash off now?” she asked.

“Yes, you can. But be careful!” Emily replied.

Morgan took Hugo’s leash off and tossed it to the ground. The two adults can take care of that. She scratched behind Hugo’s ears and then beckoned him to go ahead and play. Hugo didn’t need to be told twice and darted towards the equipment, jumping through hoops, going through a cylindrical tunnel, acquainting himself with a dog or two. Morgan ran in his direction and stopped at a distance clapping her hands happily as she watched him play.

Emily and Loki walked over to where Morgan had left the leash, and Loki bent down to pick it up and handed it over to Emily.

“Thanks.” She mumbled, her focus completely on Morgan. There were a few big dogs around and Morgan was too small to be able to get out of the way fast if something would happen. “Morgan, honey, can you come here for a second?” she called, but the child was too invested in Hugo to notice or hear. With a sigh, Emily walked over to stand next to Morgan, putting her hand over the child’s shoulder. Morgan looked at her for a moment with gleeful eyes and turned her attention back to Hugo.

Loki followed close and stood on Morgan’s other side. He watched as Hugo played, running from equipment to equipment, playing with other dogs. Then he looked at how excited Morgan was and he smiled. He knelt down next to her and put a hand over her back. “Little one, what do you say about getting some ice cream and sitting on a bench while Hugo plays with his friends?” 

Morgan’s attention was instantly on him the moment she heard the words ‘ice’ and ‘cream’. She turned to Emily, tugging at her pants. “Em, can we get ice cream?”

Emily turned to her with a smile. “Sure, honey. Wanna stay here with Loki while I go and get some?”

“I was hoping to get some for all of us, if you don’t mind.” Loki said with a smile.

“You don’t have to.”

“I’d like to.”

Emily nodded. “Alright. Could you get a dog-friendly ice cream for Hugo as well? They usually have it in a separate freezer.”

“I will. And I’ll take Morgan with me, if that’s alright?”

“Go ahead.” She smiled as Loki took Morgan’s hand and they walked over to the ice cream truck.

Hugo came running to her, wagging his tail excitedly. Emily crouched as she stroked his fur and scratched behind his ears. “You, sir, need a good brushing soon. Maybe on the weekend.” She ruffled the fur behind his ears and Hugo lovingly pounced on her, licking her face and making her giggle.

While standing in line, Loki turned around and saw Emily playing with Hugo, with the dog being all over her, nudging and licking her face. He smiled fondly at the two of them as he kept looking at their directing.

A tug on his hand brought his attention down to the source of it. “Yes, darling?” he knelt before Morgan to be on a face level with her.

“You were staring. Mommy says staring is rude.” 

Loki chuckled. “Your mother is correct, my dear. I had merely forgotten. I apologize.”

“It’s okay.” She shrugged like it was nothing, her attention back to the truck. Loki smiled fondly.

The line was taking a bit too long for Morgan’s liking, and she was growing fidgety and tired of waiting, which Loki noticed.

“Would you like to go back to Emily and I bring the ice cream when it’s our turn?” he asked. Morgan shook her head as she leaned against his leg, a little frown on her face. “Are you tired, little one?” he brushed her hair off her face and she nodded. Loki smiled and picked her up. “Well then, I will be carrying you, my fair maiden.” He nuzzled her cheek and she finally giggled. “There it is! The secret weapon!” he giggled along.

“You’re silly.” She said, giving him a hug.

“You make me silly.” He grinned at her, holding her tight in his arms. How could he care for a child that wasn’t his own, was beyond his understanding.

A few steps further and they were close to the window of the truck. Once it was their turn, Loki first asked for whatever Morgan would like to have, then he realized he hadn’t asked Emily what type she would have liked. For a moment he looked back and forth, wondering if she would be alright with him choosing for her. In the end he decided to go with the safe option of a vanilla ice cream with chocolate syrup on top. He also ordered the ice cream for Hugo, paid and took the cones and handed Morgan her cone and Hugo’s cup to hold, while he held the two other cones in one hand and walked back towards Emily, who was already sitting on a bench with Hugo laying on the ground near her feet.

“Sorry it took us a while. If you could hold these for a moment..” Loki apologized, handing both cones he was holding to Emily to put Morgan down.

“It’s alright. Hugo was having the time of his life being all over me.” She held on to the cones as she watched Loki taking Hugo’s ice cream cup from Morgan, opening the lid and sitting on the ground near the dog.

He placed the cup in front of Hugo, who sniffed at it first before he started licking the cold substance. Loki watched him with a grin on his face, and turned to take his ice cream cone from Emily. “I forgot to ask you which flavour you would like, so I went with the safest option.”

“Oh this is perfect.” She said, nodding at the taste. “Thanks, by the way.”

“It was my pleasure.”

-*-*-*-*-*-

After ice creams and later some snacks, it was time to start getting back to the tower. They cleaned up after themselves and Loki put Morgan over his shoulders, which made her squeal in delight.

Emily found it extremely endearing how well he got along with Morgan. She put the leash on Hugo’s collar as they started walking back. Morgan singing children’s songs at the top of her lungs along the way.

Once out of the open space, they walked along the path leading into the main park area. Loki’s hands were casually resting on Morgan’s legs, to keep her from accidentally falling, and she had both her hands in his hair, holding on to him while she continued giggling and singing.

They came across another playground and Morgan wanted to try the slides there. Since they had nothing else to do, they agreed to it. Loki put her down and she darted towards the slides, joining the other kids to play. Loki and Emily went to sit on a bench close by the slides, Hugo sitting near Emily’s feet, and watched her go up the ladders and come sliding down. She might have made three new friends within the first five minutes.

“The amount of energy in her..” Emily chuckled. “I wish I had that.”

“Children’s stamina is quite spectacular.” Loki agreed.

“True. Ever had kids?” she asked.

Loki shook his head. “Never had a relationship last long enough to even consider it. Besides, until Morgan, I wasn’t really known to be a children’s person. And you?”

She shook her head as well. “Only a miscarriage once.” She said softly, her eyes still on Morgan. She hadn’t intended to let that information slip, but there it was. She sighed, mentally kicking herself.

He turned to look at her. How could someone with such a bright aura and such a bubbly personality carry that kind of a burden on her shoulders and yet be able to remain so caring and positive around everyone around her.

“I’m sorry for your loss.” He didn’t know what else to say.

She shrugged, turning to look at him with a tight smile that told Loki she was supressing the hurt within. “It’s okay. It’s been seven years. Well, next week it will be.” She turned her gaze back to Morgan, who was building a castle with another kid. “That’s when I first got Hugo. He was a blessing.” The memory still hurt, though not in the way that it was fresh, but very close. Everyone had told her she would learn to live with it and move on, and she had. Though the memory stayed. The pain stayed. She simply learned to cover it up with her personality. She was happy when Pepper told her she was pregnant, even happier when Morgan was finally born.

Loki kept looking at her with concern written on his face. Would it be appropriate if he held her now? It felt like a moment where one would need to be held, but he stayed put. Instead, he turned his gaze to Morgan, who now seemed to be very invested on teaching a kid how to tie a shoelace.

“If you ever need a listening ear,” he turned to look at her again. “I would offer mine.”

She smiled and looked at him again. “You’re so sweet. Thank you, Loki.” She turned back to focus on Morgan.

He could swear he saw her eyes get wet. And to prove his suspicion, Hugo chose that moment to get up from his spot and came to stand between Emily’s legs and put his head over her thigh. She absentmindedly scratched behind his ears, while her eyes were directed at Morgan. Loki noticed a little crease between her eyebrows that wasn’t quite a frown, but he felt she was not okay.

He put a gentle hand over her upper back and she turned to look at him. “Should we go back?” he asked gently and she nodded, attempting to smile.

Loki got up and walked over to Morgan. He kneeled next to her and Emily watched as he talked to the little girl, picked her up and carried her with one arm. Morgan waved at her new friends and wrapped both arms around Loki’s neck. He then came to stand in front of Emily. “Let’s go home.” He offered his free hand to her.

She took his hand and stood up, holding Hugo’s leash with the other. They walked side-by-side, holding hands and in total silence.

By the time they reached the tower, Morgan’s hold around Loki’s neck had loosened, but her body felt heavier around his chest and shoulder. She had fallen asleep, her head resting at the crook of his neck. Loki brushed a thumb against Emily’s hand to get her attention. When she looked at him, he motioned at Morgan’s sleeping form and smiled. Emily smiled back at the sight.

They only let go of each other’s hands when they entered the tower. Emily took quick steps to press the elevator button. Once they walked in, she pressed the button to the penthouse and looked at FRIDAY’s sensor in the upper corner, knowing that the AI was watching, she placed a finger on her mouth to indicate silence, and then pointed at Morgan. FRIDAY dimmed the elevator lights for a moment and brightened them up to normal again, indicating she had received the message. Loki was impressed by the silent conversation between human and machine. Stark was definitely a genius who had left the world of the living too soon.

Once they reached the penthouse, they were greeted by Pepper, who gently took Morgan off of Loki’s arms and took her to bed.

“So, a very successful way to get Morgan to go to bed early is to take her to the park for a few hours.” Emily said with an amused chuckle.

“That is definitely something to consider.” Loki said and turned to face her. “How are you feeling?”

“Good. It was a lovely afternoon.” She was smiling, the glint of sadness well hidden for the moment.

“It was indeed. Thank you for inviting me.”

“Can’t take full credit there. It was Morgan’s idea.” She shrugged with a smirk.

“Ah, then I will thank her in the morning.”

She had knelt next to Hugo, taking the leash off of him and ruffling his fur a bit. She placed a kiss on his head before she stood up, letting him go into the living room. Loki stepped closer to her and placed a hand over her shoulder. “What I said earlier, about needing an ear, still stands. Whenever needed.”

She nodded to him. “Thanks, Loki. I’ll remember that.” She smiled. “I think I’m going to head home soon. Still need to make dinner.”

“Why not stay here for dinner?” Pepper finally joined them. “It’s almost ready, and I invited Thor over. Loki, you’re invited as well, if you want to.”

“You don’t have to ask me twice. I’m famished.” Emily said and headed to the kitchen.

“I would like to stay for dinner as well.” Loki spoke to Pepper, though his eyes followed Emily. He couldn’t even start to imagine what went through her head right now. He felt bad about asking her whether she had children. He hadn’t anticipated her answer, which was quite shocking to him, to say the least. He was curious now, though, whether she was in a relationship or not. And if so, was it the same one from seven years ago? She had never mentioned if she was in one and it had never occurred to him to ask, not that it was any of his business. But now? Now he was curious.

“Is she okay?” Pepper asked, following Loki’s gaze.

“I’m not quite sure,” he turned to look at Pepper. “Though it’s not my place to say. Might be because we stayed at the park for a bit too long.”

“If you say so.” Pepper knew her cousin better than that. She might talk to her later. “Did Morgan behave?” she asked and motioned for him to come further inside, towards the living room.

“She was a delight. Very excited to walk Hugo, and she made a few new friends at the playground.” He chuckled and sat down on an armchair.

“She does that every time.” Pepper grinned.

“Takes after her mother, I assume?” he smiled.

“Maybe?” she shrugged, smiling. It was either her nature or just her line of work that made her very good at being approachable. She never gave it a thought, if she were honest. It just came naturally to her. So maybe Morgan takes after her in that sense. It warmed her heart.

“I should probably go see Thor before dinner. How long do we have?”

“Half an hour, give or take.”

“Good, we’ll see you later then.”

-*-*-*-*-*-

Loki went downstairs to see Thor sulking at the dining table, Mjolnir and Stormbreaker propped next to his chair. He walked over and pulled a chair across from his brother and sat down.

“Brother?”

“Hey.”

“I wanted to apologize for my words earlier.” Loki spoke, hands on his lap and sitting up straight as he watched his brother’s hunching form. “It was very.. insensitive of me and uncalled for.” Thor raised his eyes to look at him, not really believing what he was hearing. Loki sincerely apologizing to Thor was as rare as seeing a reformed dark elf. “Will you forgive me?”

“Loki, when you jest or state a fact, I recognize it. I did not take offense when you called me fat.” Thor sat up straight and looked at his brother, who looked sincerely sorry, so he offered him a little smile. “I simply remembered those days. I was mourning you. It felt worse than the time I thought you died by Kurse’s blade on Svartalfheim. I could only do with the emotions what I know to do best.” His smile grew wider, “break things.”

Loki grinned, happy seeing his brother feeling better and that he hadn’t actually insulted him. He didn’t rule it not happening again over something else, but that was the way their relationship worked. They would insult each other, fight, make up. There might be a stab or two involved. Regular sibling stuff.

“So no, Loki. I will not forgive you, for there is nothing to forgive. I have a thicker skin than to be affected by being called fat.” Thor was grinning ear to ear now and leaned back in his chair.

“Then why were you sulking just now?”

Thor shrugged, his grin turning into a soft smile. “I went back down the memory lane. Being in this tower does that to me.” He looked around. “So many memories.” He sighed. His memories at the tower mostly consisted of battles. First the one against his brother, and the next was against Ultron. And then for a short time after Tony’s funeral to attend the memorial lunch Pepper had organized. The only positive memory of them was the one evening the Avengers were having drinks and everyone took turns trying to lift Mjolnir. That was the evening when Ultron was created. So, ultimately not that much of a positive memory either. Maybe the memorial should be his positive memory of the place. There was no fighting then, and it was in honour of his fallen friend and comrade. Yes, one positive memory that doesn’t involve a battle occurring right after, that’s all he needed.

“I’m not quite fond of my old memories of this place.” Loki snorted. “Though the new ones? Definitely.”

“I’m glad you’re enjoying your stay here, brother.”

“I’m glad to have a place I can call home again.”

“Indeed.” Thor leaned forward, propping his arms on the table. “And speaking of home.. say, brother, have you thought of New Asgard?”

“I might have, why do you ask?”

“I was thinking maybe it’s time to visit. You have a thrown to claim.”


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: anxiety attack.

“Thr.. w-what?” Loki stuttered for a moment. Throne? Him? After all the crap he had gone through, now the throne gets handed to him? Just like that? Okay, breathe. Breathe. Deep and slow.

Thor waited for his brother to calm down before he would continue. Loki pushed his chair back and leaned forward to grab at the edge of the table with both hands. He inclined his head downwards and just breathed. This was just too fucking much!

He didn’t even know why he was getting worked up about it. This reaction shouldn’t have happened. One would have thought that he was over that whole wanting the thrown shit, but the bitter memories surrounding it seemed to have a too strong a hold on him to simply move on. Something was wrong with him and he hated that fact with passion. 

After a moment he finally straightened up and took a deep breath, then exhaled slowly. He pulled his chair closer to the table again and folded his arms over the surface before him. He could feel anxiety still building up. “Why?” he asked with a low voice, almost menacing.

“It’s your birth right.” Thor shrugged.

“Not according to our father.” Loki scowled. While Odin had never stopped considering him his son, Loki had a few years of battling with himself and everyone else, until just before Odin’s death that he came to accepting himself as an Odinson, and then actually declaring it proudly to Thanos, just before being killed himself. He closed his eyes and took another deep breath to stop the panic attack from raising its ugly face again. Why was it that at the smallest unpleasant memory he would get thrown off the wagon? He couldn’t wait until he could talk to the Midgardian professional about it. He needed normalcy, like yesterday.

“Yeah, well he’s not here to make the rules anymore.” Thor smirked. Though abdicated, he and Valkyrie had an understanding. He could reclaim the throne at any moment he would choose to. And while Valkyrie was doing a great job ruling New Asgard, she wasn’t of royal blood, nor was she an Odinson.

“I’d rather maintain my title of a prince. I do not wish to be king, brother. I never did and you know it.” Loki spoke softly, every word calculated. He feared if he spoke at a normal volume he might start yelling, which he didn’t feel like doing, especially not with his breaths becoming short and fast.

“As you have told me before. You had only wished to be my equal. Loki, in my eyes you have always been.” Thor leaned forward, propping his arms on the table as well. “A few years ago I had told you a thrown would suit you ill, brother. But nowadays I see how you have changed to the better. Which is why I believe you will be a good king to our people.”

“Why don’t you want to do it?”

“It’s not my calling.”

“What makes it mine, then?”

Thor went silent at that. He hadn’t thought of it that far. A change of character didn’t really make you suitable to rule a kingdom, no matter how small. Nor did it make it your calling all of a sudden. Sure, Loki was more than capable of ruling and guiding, he had been trained for it his whole life. He even had the scholarly knowledge that Thor lacked. Something that would always be useful for the king of Asgard, next to being an adept fighter and being able to lead an army. Not that New Asgard was about to wage war on Midgard or anything. They didn’t even have the capacity for it, but it was the principle that counted.

“Why don’t you give it a thought, brother?” Thor finally said, sitting back. 

The thing was, Loki didn’t want to think about it. Claiming the thrown would mean moving to New Asgard and leaving New York. Leaving the tower, the place he had just started calling home. His friends, Morgan, Pepper and.. Emily. He didn’t want to leave them. Her. Most of all he didn’t want to leave her.

There it was again, that foreign feeling at the pit of his stomach. Warmth and butterflies. It somehow always happened nowadays whenever he thought about her or was around her. Was he developing feelings for her? Nah, that can’t be right. Loki wasn’t as weak at the matters of the heart like Thor was. He couldn’t possibly fall for a mortal like his brother had. It would only lead to heartbreak. He cared for her deeply, but only as a friend. He shouldn’t make anything more of it. It wouldn’t be appropriate... maybe...

But his heart was already attached to a mortal. A little one, at that. Morgan Stark had invaded his heart without his knowledge or even consent. Like her typical ‘incomiiiing’ little attacks she would playfully orchestrate against him. Would it make a difference if he opened his heart to yet another? 

His hand instinctively went to his chest, clutching at his shirt. He didn’t want heartbreak. He’s had enough of that in the past to last him a lifetime. He shouldn’t pay those butterflies any attention. Keep it buried deep inside and lock it up. Yes, that would be the best course of action. Should be easy. She probably didn’t even feel like that about him anyway, so why risk the good friendship they had?

Too many thoughts ran through his head, with some contradicting others. It made him feel overwhelmed. Maybe moving to New Asgard wasn’t such a bad idea, after all? He was starting to overthink and it might have shown, for Thor was now kneeling next to him and looking at him with concerned eyes. Loki felt like the air in the room wasn’t enough. He was breathing fast and his chest hurt like it was caving in on him.

Focus. He needed to focus. So he looked at Thor, who was speaking, but Loki couldn’t hear. The thumping in his ears too loud for him to hear anything. Thor had turned him around to face him. He was holding his face between two hands and his lips still moved, but Loki couldn’t hear him.

Focus. Why couldn’t he focus? What was missing? Why was the room spinning all of a sudden? Focus. Breathe slowly. Inhale, exhale, deep and slow. It wasn’t working. His chest hurt. He was weak. Thor was looking up and saying something. Loki’s hands went to Thor’s shoulders, clinging to the fabric of the shirt his brother was wearing. He couldn’t breathe. He felt his body getting heavy, slowly leaning forward into his brother’s arms and Thor wrapped his arms around him, holding him securely in place and running his hand in circles over his back.

“Brother, I’m here.” Thor whispered, holding his brother tightly in his arms. “It’s alright, it’s going to be alright.”

Emily came rushing in with Hugo running a long. “Thor, what happened? FRIDAY said.. oh..” she paused when she saw Thor holding a hyperventilating Loki in his arms. “Okay, couch. Get him to the couch. Hugo, help.”

Thor did as told and helped his brother up to move to the couch. Loki felt the world spinning violently as he stood up, but Thor was holding him tight and wouldn’t let him fall. They walked over to the couch and helped him lay down. Loki lay on his side and pulled his legs up to his chest. Emily walked over to them with Hugo close by, waiting for his turn to jump into work. She grabbed Loki by the shoulders and gently turned him to he was laying on his back. “Thor, could you open a window please?”

Thor did as asked while Emily adjusted Loki’s legs on the couch, bending his knees upwards. “Okay, Hugo, you’re up.” She said once she was done and Hugo simply hopped over and lay half on the couch and half over Loki’s chest. Loki had closed his eyes and instinctively brought his arms around the canine and tried to focus on him while trying to get a grip on his breathing.

Thor sat down on the floor, next to Loki’s head and gently stroke his hair off his face. He shouldn’t have brought the thrown up so soon, especially since his brother had obviously not fully recovered yet.

Emily sat down in front of Thor and lay her hand on his knee. “He’ll be alright. Hugo can help. Always does.” She gave him a warm smile and looked at her furry best friend. “We just let them be.”

“Miss Green, boss is asking if everything is alright, should we cancel dinner?” FRIDAY asked suddenly.

Emily turned to Thor, who nodded. “Yes, FRI, tell Pepper dinner is cancelled.”

“No..” Loki breathed. “Go. Eat. I’ll be fine.”

“Brother, I do not want to leave you alone.”

“’s okay.” Loki tried to take deep breaths between sentences. “I’ll be fine. Nothing new here.” He stroked Hugo’s fur lazily.

“No brother, I’ll stay with you.” Thor was not about to go dinner and leave his brother go through a panic attack all alone. “Emily, you can go have dinner. Don’t skip it on our account.”

“I’m fine. I snacked right after we got back from the park. I can eat later.” She smiled.

The elevator door opened and Pepper walked out pushing a food trolley. Thor and Emily watched her come over and started laying the food on the coffee table. “We’re having dinner together. Loki can join once he feels better.”

“Getting there.” Loki said automatically, not bothering to open his eyes.

“Okay, now eat. I’ll grab us some drinks.” She said and went to the kitchen.

Emily put some food in a plate and handed it to Thor. “Start eating before she goes mom mode on you. She has that look on her.” She whispered.

“What’s the mom mode?” Thor asked, taking the plate and reaching for a fork.

“Guilt tripping.”

Loki snorted suddenly, pulling Hugo closer over his chest to cover his face to cover a giggle.

“See? He’s feeling better already.” Emily grinned, nodding her head towards Loki.

“I am.” The hyperventilation was subsiding slowly, and the room had almost stopped spinning. The constriction inside his chest was as good as gone.

“Brother, is there anything I can do?” Thor asked, his plate in one hand while the other was stroking Loki’s hair.

“Thank you, brother, but no.”

“I’m sorry I caused this.”

“Not your fault. My head is damaged.” Loki sighed and finally opened his eyes. Hugo nuzzled his chin and he gently scratched behind the dog’s ears. “I will be fine, brother.” He looked at Thor with a soft smile. “I promise.”

Pepper came back with some soft drinks and water. She knelt on the floor, on the other side of the coffee table and filled a plate with food for Emily and handed it to her. Then she looked at Loki, who was slowly sitting up and filled a plate for him and handed it to Thor to pass it on. “You think you can handle some food?” she asked.

Loki nodded. “As soon as the room stops spinning.” Hugo moved on the couch so Loki could sit, then he lay down next to him with his head over Loki’s lap.

“I believe it will, once you eat something.” Emily said. “I’ll have Hugo stay the night. I’ll be staying as well,” she turned to Pepper, “if it’s okay with you?”

“Sure you can sleep without your bed being here?”

“Not really,” she chuckled, “but it’s one night, I’ll survive.”

“We should get you a bed you can actually fall asleep in for whenever you want to spend the night.”

“One night is no problem.”

“What if it’s for more than one? Say a weekend or more?” Pepper shrugged as she chewed on her food.

“If you can find my exact bed and mattress, be my guest.” Emily didn’t know what Pepper had in mind, but if she could find the exact same bed frame she had at home, which she had bought at a thrift store, she wouldn’t say no to spending some nights at the penthouse, especially since it meant less driving for her and Hugo would have someone around instead of staying locked up at home while she’s working.

“Good. FRIDAY will take care of that, won’t you FRIDAY?”

“Sure, boss.”

Pepper grinned at Emily, knowing full well that FRIDAY would find that bedframe by the next morning. She might even get one custom ordered. It was the mattress that held the sleeping comfort magic and that one was much easier to find. Emily was just being difficult when it came to her bed.

Loki discretely paid attention to the interaction between the two women. He would love it if Emily would stay at the tower. They could see each other more often that way.. hang on, where did that thought come from? He choked on a piece of olive which decided to take the wrong pipe to go down. After coughing and reaching for some water, he put the glass back on the table and wiped his eyes of the involuntary tears. “Apologies.” He mumbled clearing his throat and looking onto his plate as he picked another olive and popped it into his mouth.

He was feeling exhausted from the episode he just had. He usually recovered pretty quickly nowadays, but this time it was different somehow. After finishing his food, he decided to call it a night, even if it was still early. He thanked Pepper for the food and wished everyone a good night before he got up and headed to his room, Hugo following him closely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will be much longer :)
> 
> Comments and kudos are always appreciated!


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki and Thor finally visit the wizard and get some answers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have a long chapter xD  
> TRIGGER WARNING: anxiety attack (this should be a given for almost every chapter by now lol)

The next day Loki was awake at dawn. He had fallen asleep the evening before at the moment his head had hit the pillow. He felt refreshed when he woke up. A pleased smile graced his face as he turned in bed and saw Hugo sleeping next to him. The moment he reached over to pet the dog, Hugo opened his eyes and nuzzled his chin, giving his jaw a quick lick.

“Your morning breath is horrible, my friend.” Loki wrinkled his nose, which didn’t really stop Hugo from nuzzling him more. “Yes, I believe we should get up.”

Hugo jumped off the bed and went to stand at the door, wagging his tail. Loki sat at the edge of the bed, stretching his arms and back. A look at the dog told him he probably needs to go on a walk. “If you give me a couple of minutes, I’ll change my clothes and we can go for a stroll.” Hugo barked once and sat down near the door, signalling that he could do that.

After a quick stop in the bathroom for a nature call and to brush his teeth, Loki put on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. He loosely tied his hair at the back of his neck and slipped into a pair of sneakers. Hugo darted out of the room and straight to the elevator the moment Loki opened the door, which made the God chuckle in amusement. He followed the canine and pressed the elevator button. He needed to get Hugo’s leash first before they would go, and that was at the penthouse, he assumed.

As he walked out of the elevator, he saw Pepper sitting at the dining table having her morning coffee and reading something on her tablet.

“Good morning,” he said softly.

Pepper turned around and smiled. “Morning. You’re up early.”

“Had a long sleep.” He smiled back. “I’m taking Hugo for his morning walk and wanted to get his leash.” He explained.

“Should be there somewhere.” She pointed at the wall with the coat hangers.

Loki looked around and found the leash hanging, so he grabbed it. “I’ll be off then. Have a nice morning.”

“You too, Loki,” Pepper replied and was back to her reading as Loki and Hugo got back into the elevator.

The walk had been uneventful. The streets were still empty, save for the few cars that passed and other people walking their dogs. When he got back to the penthouse, Emily and Thor were already awake. Thor was sitting on the sofa at the penthouse while Emily and Pepper were preparing breakfast. Loki took Hugo’s leash off and the dog ran inside, dropping onto his own bed to catch up on sleep. Loki proceeded first to the bathroom to wash his hands. When he got back, breakfast was being placed on the dining table.

“What’s the occasion?” he asked, taking a seat at the table and Thor joined him.

“Since when do we need an occasion to have breakfast together?” Pepper replied and put a plate in front of him.

“That’s a very good point.” Thor said, grinning at her.

“Thor, you have that smile on your face.” Loki raised an eyebrow at his brother. “That one that says I’m just kissing up to you because I need something.”

“No, I’m not.”

“Yes, you are.”

“I’m not.”

“You are.”

“Loki..”

“Thor..”

Thor sighed. There was no point in going against his brother. “Okay, you win.”

“Don’t I always?” Loki smirked triumphantly. When he knew something, he simply knew. His gut feeling never failed him. Emily grinned at the two as she sat down next to Loki.

Thor rolled his eyes at his brother and turned to Pepper, who sat down at the head of the table. “Pepper, I may or may not have damaged the roof yesterday?” he gave her an apologetic smile and ducked his head as if he was expecting to be hit.

“I know.” Pepper gave him a knowing look as she put some scrambled eggs onto her plate.

“Yeah, I wasn’t careful with.. wait, you know?” Thor blinked. “How?”

“I told her, of course.” FRIDAY chimed in, sounding almost offended that he hadn’t realized she is literally everywhere in and around the building.

“Of course.” Thor sighed. “So, yeah, sorry about that.”

Pepper waved her hand in dismissal. “It’s nothing. Tony did worse when trying out his suits. It will be fixed by the end of the day. So, you’re good.” She smiled at him. She was so used to Tony’s shenanigans that these types of accidents didn’t phase her anymore. She just hoped Morgan wouldn’t grow up to be as destructive. Though with Loki being her tutor, she believed her daughter will grow up splendidly, unless he lives up to his godly title and teaches her his mischiefs and makes it worse.

“Loki,” it was Emily who spoke, “How are you feeling today?”

“Much better, thank you.” He smiled at her. “Hugo helped a lot, I appreciated that you allowed him to stay with me.”

“Of course.” She smiled back and nudged his arm with her elbow. It was a no brainer that she would let Hugo help her friend. “It’s the least I can do.”

“Brother, do you have anything planned for today?” Thor asked, stuffing his face with some scrambled eggs.

“Nothing that I know of, why do you ask?”

“Maybe we can visit the wizard?”

Loki nodded, taking a sip of coffee. “I’d like that very much.” He had been waiting for that to happen. Finally it will. He was getting his hopes up and while that was already treading a dangerous line of possible disappointment, it was still better than not doing anything at all.

“Would Strange be able to help?” Pepper asked.

“I hope so.” Loki said, putting his cup down. “If I could even get a hint on how to restore my magic, I should be able to do it.”

“Have you tried it while in your Frosty form?” Emily said. Loki almost choked on the food when she said frosty, not sure if he should be amused or offended by the name. “Sorry!” she quickly patted his back, concerned she might have said something wrong.

“Don’t be.” Loki shook his head as he grabbed a napkin and wiped his mouth. “I merely didn’t expect to be called Frosty.” He chuckled. Amused it is then.

“It slipped.” She shrugged with a smile and resumed eating.

“Well, I think I’ve tried it, but nothing happened. My Jotunn magic seems to also been affected with whatever is withholding my seiðr.” He really couldn’t remember anymore whether he had tried forming any ice or even frost while in his Jotunn form, but if he had, it must have not worked. For otherwise he would have had some peace of mind knowing at least something inside of him worked as it was supposed to.

“We will get answers from the wizard.” Thor said with a determined nod.

“So you’ll basically be out all day?” Pepper had finished eating and was now sipping on her coffee.

“Indeed.” Thor said, pulling the rest of the scrambled eggs onto his plate. 

“That’s good, because today Cap is visiting and I have no idea if any of the Avengers would be coming with him.” Pepper let the information drop like it was nothing.

Loki tensed. So far the Avengers had no idea he had been staying at the tower, and he had no idea how they would react to the fact. He wouldn’t want to confront them without his powers at his full disposal and especially with him being prone to panic attacks, he definitely didn’t want them to witness that. While they still wouldn’t be able to lethally harm him, it would be a tedious work trying to hold them back. Thor would protect him, of course, but that would show weakness. There was no way in bloody Hel he would let that happen.

“Oh I haven’t seen Rogers for a while. How is he fairing?” Thor asked with fondness.

“As good as he can be for a 106 year old.” She replied. “He’s enjoying retirement.”

“I feel like I’m missing something here. Retirement?” Loki asked. Last thing he knew about the captain was that he fought against Thanos, then returned the stones to their respective timelines. Though he didn’t know why he would retire. It didn’t sound like the patriotic captain to retire so soon.

“Oh, I must have not mentioned it.” Thor said, finally finishing his breakfast. “When Rogers went to return the stones, he decided to stay in the past and catch up on the life he had missed. Came back an old man.”

“Peculiar.” Loki simply replied. “Did he return at the same moment he had left?”

“Yes.”

“Good, then all is well.” He smiled. Timelines were tricky and no one should ever gamble with them, no matter the intention. When Thor gave him a confused look, Loki went on explaining how time, timelines and alternative realities worked. By diverging from the initial plan of just returning the stones, Steve Rogers had created an alternative reality for himself, with its own timeline. When in that reality time crossed point with his disappearance from this timeline, he came back to the main reality just after his disappearance and thus, restoring the timelines.

His three companions simply nodded their heads when he finished explaining, and Loki sat back like an achieved scholar who has just made the discovery of the millennium. To him it was child’s play, but to others who were not as adept, it was a major revelation. Banner would probably have been the only one in this realm to know what he was talking about. Alright, maybe the wizard would get it as well. Of course, Loki’s theory was just deduction, guessing and conclusion, but there was no other way that would explain how the captain had gone back in time and came back aged so much without causiing any palpable chaos. It was, in fact, the only explanation, of which he was 99.9% confident. He will have to ask Banner about it at a later point, just to get confirmation and pull that 0.01% into his total.

“Well, say hi to Steve for me. I might come up at some point during my break.” Emily got up, picking up her plate and took it to the kitchen and came back. “And now if you’ll excuse me, I have work to go to.” She went to Hugo and hugged him, before she waved at the others and got into the elevator. “See you guys later!”

“Bye~” the three said together. They all got up as well and started cleaning the table. Pepper appreciated that Loki and Thor didn’t leave it all up to her to clean up. It was nice having help sometimes.

“Say hi to Stephen for me, please.” She said when they were done cleaning.

“Will do.” Thor nodded. “Would you let us know when Rogers has left?”

“I’ll have FRIDAY text you. So don’t forget your phone.”

“Right. Okay, thanks. See you in the evening then, Pepper.”

“Have a good day, Pepper.”

“Good luck, you two.”

The two brothers went to their rooms to get ready for the day ahead of them. They showered, changed and met up in the living room, both dressed in casual attire. Though Loki felt he was a bit overdressed in comparison to Thor, but then again, they always had a completely different styles in clothing.

-*-*-*-*-*-

They stood on the sidewalk in front of 177A Bleecker Street staring at the ancient looking door of the Sanctum Sanctorum. Loki felt a shiver run down his spine as he remembered the last time he had encountered the wizard. Though that wasn’t the only thing that nudged at his nerves. It seemed the wards to the Sanctum had been strengthened since the last time he was there and they were grinding abrasively against his whole being. If he had to stand there any longer, he might vomit.

“You look sick, brother. Everything alright?” Thor asked as he knocked on the door.

“This place is trying to repel me.” He huffed, flexing his neck and taking in a deep breath. He didn’t know how long he could withstand it.

“It’s going to be alright. The wizard loves me.” Thor grinned.

“You say about everything and everyone on this realm.”

“It’s true though.”

Loki rolled his eyes.

The door opened and a burly man appeared. He eyed him up and down with a grunt. Then he looked at Thor and smiled. “God of Thunder, welcome. Come on in!” he said and looked at Loki again, face instantly void of any pleasantries and replaced with a frown. He stepped aside and let the brothers walk in.

“Nice seeing you again, Wong.” Thor said, shaking the man’s hand. “You remember my brother..”

“Loki.” Wong said immediately, still not smiling whenever he looked at Loki.

Loki remained silent, shoulders straight and head held high. Whoever this Wong guy was, he was apparently still hung up on the past. Technically, it wasn’t surprising. Loki knew that not everyone on this realm was friendly and forgiving like Pepper and Emily, or anyone he had met at the tower so far, or even the teenager he had met at the park. It was only a matter of time until he bumped into someone who thought less of him. Oh, well, such is life. He wasn’t the most popular on Asgard either.

“The Sorcerer Supreme will see you in a moment. Don’t touch anything.” He told Thor with a raised finger.

Thor grinned at the man and nodded. The last time he was there he couldn’t keep his hands off of things and had things topple over or break. Well, Mjolnir had done the most breaking, so that wasn’t really his fault.

Loki looked around him. The painted glass adorning the walls all the way to the ceilings would have been breath-taking had he not been focused on his own breathing as he struggled against the nausea that kept creeping up his throat. The high arched ceilings were adorned with numerous mystical items and decorations. The walls covered with oil paintings and more mystical artefacts and statues. The staircase before them was enormous, leading to a big window shaped as the Eye of Agamotto at the top, which Loki recognized from an ancient Midgardian lore he had read on Asgard centuries ago.

The sorcerer finally appeared, levitating his way down the stairs with the edges of his cloak floating majestically. He came to stand in front of Thor, smiling at his fellow Avenger. “Thor Odinson, to what do I owe this pleasure?”

“Good to see you, wizard.” Thor shook the sorcerer’s hand and turned to Loki, “Loki, you weren’t introduced the last time we were here. Meet my friend and brother-in-arms, Doctor Strange, the Midgardian wizard.”

Doctor Strange rolled his eyes at being called a wizard, but extended his hand to Loki, nonetheless. “Doctor Strange, Sorcerer Supreme.” He introduced himself properly.

Loki shook the offered hand, and his nausea just kept escalating. “Thank you for seeing us.”

“You’re paler than the last time you were here.” Strange raised an eyebrow.

“The wards..” Loki took a deep breath and covered his mouth. “Repelling me. Gonna be sick..”

“Oh dear. Can’t have that now.” Strange waved his hands and a golden shimmer wrapped itself around Loki, who instantly sighed in relief.

“Thank you.” He could finally breathe freely without feeling bile in his throat. “Your temple does not welcome me.”

“The wards are meant to protect us from threats. And since you were one in the past..” Strange shrugged.

“My brother is a threat no more.” Thor said, which earned him a glare from said brother. “He needs your help, my friend.”

“Does he now?” Strange looked Loki up and down.

Loki has had enough of mockery and sarcasm in his life to recognize one. “Brother, maybe this was a mistake. We should go.” He turned to leave, but Thor grabbed his arm.

“No, brother.” Thor’s grip on Loki’s arm was firm, like one would grab a child that was trying to run away. “We need the wizard’s help.” He turned to Strange. “My brother has lost his magic.”

Loki pulled his arm off of Thor’s grip and adjusted his shirt. Scowling at his brother for treating him like a child. But he was desperate, so he needed to swallow any and all pride he had left in him and stay put.

“Let’s go into my study.” Strange said and they were instantly transported. Both Asgardians almost lost their balance at the shift in location, though both quickly recovered. Strange sat on an armchair and motioned for the two to take a seat on the couch before him. “So what happened to your magic?” he addressed Loki.

“If I knew, I would be able to recover it.” Loki huffed. When Strange gave him a look that said ‘don’t test my patience if you need my help’ he sighed and continued. “I was killed, woke up in space, apparently five years later, was brought here, was in a coma, woke up and no seiðr.” He decided on a quick and short version of the whole process of him getting there.

“Killed and resurrected? That’s.. interesting.” Strange leaned his elbows over his knees and rested his chin over his fists. “I need details.”

So Loki told him what happened, how he woke up in space with a broken neck, used his Jotunn genes and his seiðr to heal himself. Then about how he was in a coma and when he woke up after the coma he was still in his Jotunn form but his seiðr wasn’t reacting anymore, and the only thing he could do is change forms. He also added that whenever he tries a healing spell, all he would get is a faint green glow, but nothing happens.

“Hmm..” Was the only thing that came out of Doctor Strange as he listened carefully. He remained silent as he went through everything Loki had just told him. Something didn’t add up. He obviously had his healing magic when he woke up in space, otherwise he wouldn’t have been able to rearrange his broken neck, which was already an impressive, if not impossible feat. The only reason he could still change forms is because the concealment was not originally of his own making. Strange got up and paced the room back and forth. Both Loki and Thor followed his movement as he went from one side to the other, one hand inside the folds of his cloak and the other over his goatee. 

He finally came to a halt and turned to the brothers. “I need to check the books.” And with that they were moved into the library, the brothers staggered a bit as they stood there with the couch not being behind them anymore.

“Will you stop doing that?!” Thor was getting irritated by the sudden room change. Didn’t wizards go from one room to the other like normal people?

“Do what?” Strange turned to him with a book in hand.

“Ignore him.” Loki sighed. He wasn’t in the mood to shift the attention from what they were there for. “What are you looking for?” Thor snorted at that.

“When you woke up in space you still had your magic.” Strange flipped through pages and put the book back on the shelf where he got it from and picked out another. “Then you were in a coma, woke up and your magic was gone.”

“Yes, and?”

“Something happened in between.”

“From what I’ve heard, no one other than the medical staff had entered my room while I was unconscious.”

“Hmm..” Strange picked another book, scanned through the pages. He was about to flip the last page he was on when his cloak held the page and pointed at a paragraph with its corner. Strange read it again and his mouth opened up in an ‘O’ shape and he came to a realization. “Loki, how did you wake up?”

“Resuscitation.”

“No,” he sighed and rolled his eyes. “I mean, walk me through it. What did they tell you happened exactly?” Strange conjured three armchairs for them and sat down on one, motioning for the brothers to do the same.

As Thor and Loki sat down, Loki tried to remember what he had been told about the circumstances around his waking up from the coma. “They told me I went into cardiac arrest, after which I woke up. Had a series of anxiety attacks, then had another cardiac arrest and was about to be.. pronounced dead? Is that the term your healers use?” When Strange nodded, he continued, “Yes, so I was about to be pronounced dead and Emily.. she’s the healer taking care of me, she was persistent on reviving me. And here I am.”

Strange leaned forward in his seat, propping elbows on his knees in full attention. “How did you wake up then?”

Loki had to think for a moment about that. He remembered unintentionally injuring Emily. “I was told she had used the maximum voltage on the machine and then there was a surge of a green glow, which knocked everyone away and Emily, who was doing the resuscitation at the time, took the most hit of it.”

“Was she straddling you when it happened?” It was common for nurses and doctors to straddle patients when doing CPR, which gave them better balance and position to put the needed pressure onto the chest.

“Yes.”

Strange nodded. It would make sense. “I have reason to believe your magic had been expelled from your body and hers had absorbed it.”

Both Loki and Thor looked at each other in shock and then turned to stare at the sorcerer. They have heard of such occurrences before, but they were always by beings from other realms and never a Midgardian.

“How is it even possible? Power transfer doesn’t happen between different species, and definitely not with Midgardians! You don’t have seiðr within you or within your realm, that’s why you have the Mystic Arts instead.” Loki asked, a deep crease showing between his eyebrows. Emily hadn’t shown any signs of housing his seiðr, which was another mystery he needed to unravel. Great. Just peachy.

“True. While most humans do not possess magic, some of us who do can be trained to manifest it from within, with the help of mystic artefacts.” Strange raised his hands indicating where they were and that he, himself, was a human with magical abilities, while he ran the odds through his mind. “What do you know of her family tree?”

“She’s Pepper’s cousin?” Thor supplied. This was all foreign talk to him, so he was glad he could contribute with whatever small information he could.

“I mean ancestors.” Strange corrected him. “Maybe you can ask her or Pepper about their family tree, see if there’s any inter-species relationships there.”

“Are you saying Emily might have alien genes?” Thor asked.

“That’s exactly what I’m saying.”

“Actually..” Loki’s eyebrows shot up his forehead as he gasped. “Emily was the only one who could touch my Jotunn skin and not be affected.”

“Brother, are you saying Emily could be..”

“I don’t know, brother.” Loki’s breath caught up in his throat. This was scary to even think of and he worried.

It was impossible to imagine Emily having Jotunn genes. It simply didn’t make sense. From what he could remember reading about the Frost Giants, they had invaded Midgard and were driven off by Odin. It was unlikely that any of them had made settlement on this realm. But what if? What if one of them did manage to stay and build a life here? Loki himself was a Jotunn who was literally in the process of building a life for himself on this realm. Could it really be that Emily is a descendant of a Jotunn? It would explain why she could touch him while in Jotunn form. Did she know? Was she concealing it as well?

Loki started breathing rapidly as thoughts and questions overwhelmed him. He needed air and he needed to get out of there and fast. He turned his panic ridden face to his brother, who was instantly kneeling at his side, with his hands over Loki’s forearm.

“Loki, look at me. Focus on me. Remember your breathing exercise.” Thor tried to stay calm despite the knowledge that Loki never liked appearing weak in front of anyone outside of their new tight-knit circle of friends. The fact that this was happening in front of Strange gave Thor a bit of anxiety.

Strange got up as well, and crouched in front of Loki. He recognized a panic attack instantly. “Loki, do you take medicine when this happens?” he asked in a calm tone. When Loki rapidly shook his head, he continued. “What do you need?”

“Air..” Loki managed to say between breaths. His hand went to his chest, clutching at his shirt.

“Okay, I will portal us to a balcony.” Strange said, still calm. He needed to avoid surprises and moving them suddenly would do Loki no good. He needed to walk him through the whole process. “Is that okay?” Loki nodded. Strange stood up and put his sling ring on and turned around to open a portal to a balcony on the living area of the Sanctum. 

“It’s going to be alright, brother.” Thor spoke calmly, though inside he was anxious and worried. He always worried when Loki had one of those attacks.

Strange opened the portal and came to crouch in front of Loki again. “Loki, can you hear me?” Loki nodded again, though his eyes were tightly shut. “I need you to open your eyes. The portal is open, we need to walk through.”

Loki slowly opened his eyes and looked at Strange. The sorcerer had a completely different look on his face. He looked.. less hostile? More friendly? Caring? Loki’s mind was in overdrive and he couldn’t figure out what he was seeing. It confused him even more.

“Loki, can you get up?” Strange asked. Loki nodded and held on tightly to Thor, who helped him stand up. Strange continued talking to him in short sentences and a calm voice. “You’re doing great. Now step over the portal. Yes, that’s the way. Good job. Well done.” He summoned a chair and pulled it closer for Loki to sit down once they were on the balcony. Once Loki was seated, Strange put his palm over Thor’s shoulder. “He’s going to be alright.” He whispered and went to crouch in front of Loki again, who was hunched forward with his eyes closed and still clinging to his own chest and struggling to breathe. “Loki, can you hear me?” A nod. “Tell me what you need.”

“Air..”

Strange moved his hands and a gentle breeze started blowing around them. “Loki, what you’re feeling is scary, but it’s not dangerous. You’re doing well so far.” He placed both hands over Loki’s knees. “Loki, can you open your eyes for me?” Loki tried opening his eyes, but couldn’t. Something was preventing him from doing that. He didn’t know what. He couldn’t focus in order to figure out what. “Loki, concentrate on your breathing. Focus.”

Focus. She always helped him focus. Focus on her. She always helps. She knows what to do. She’s his saviour. “Loki, try to take a deep breath. Hold it in. One, two, three, four, five. Exhale.” Loki followed the instructions for as much as he could. He was starting to feel dizzy from the lack of air and his chest just plain hurt. “You’re doing well. Let’s breathe again. Inhale, hold, three, four, five, exhale. Well done.”

That went on a few more times and Loki finally opened his eyes and caught Strange looking at him. “Good job, Loki. Look into my eyes. You can get through this. Concentrate on me. Let’s breathe again.” Slowly and very patiently, Doctor Strange managed to bring Loki to a calm state where he was breathing normally again. Loki propped his elbows over his knees and held his hand between his hands as he took in deep and slow breaths.

All this while Thor was standing there, watching his brother struggle through a panic attack and he couldn’t do much. Though watching Strange help his brother was heart-warming and impressive. He hadn’t seen such a caring side of the wizard before. It was refreshing.

He finally came to kneel next to his brother, and Strange stood up to give him space. “Brother, I’m here.”

“Thor, she can’t be a Jotunn.” Loki lifted his head and looked at his brother as he tried to catch his breath like he had just ran a marathon. His eyes were red and wet. “She’s not a monster like me, Thor. Can’t be.”

“You’re no monster either, Loki.” Thor gave his brother a sad smile. “You never were and never will be. You’re my brother, and Emily is our friend.” He ran a hand through Loki’s hair. “We don’t even know for sure if she has Jotunn blood. And even if she did, would that change anything for you?”

Loki immediately shook his head. Of course it wouldn’t change anything for him! He couldn’t care less what species she was! It was ridiculous to even think that! He only feared her reaction to the fact. Would it throw her into insanity like it did him? Would she start hating herself like he hated himself? Was she adopted and didn’t know about it too? Was she also stolen? “I’m scared for her, Thor.” He finally managed to say. If he continued questioning in his mind, he will go back into panic mode again and he was still recovering from the first one. “I’m scared she’d go through everything I went through.”

“Then you will be at her side to help her through it.” Thor smiled at his younger brother.

Loki looked at his brother with genuine fear and concern, “But, Thor, how do we tell her?”

“If I may,” Strange went to lean his back against the balcony rails, putting one foot across the other as he folded his arms against his chest. Thor and Loki looked at him. “You will want to be direct with that. No beating around the bushes.”

“That’s the easy part,” Thor said, settling himself on the floor next to Loki’s legs.

“How is that the easy part, brother?” Loki shot him a look.

“You can be direct when you want to.” Thor shrugged. He had decided that Loki was the one to do the talking to Emily. They had a solid friendship going on and just in case she reacted unfavourably, at least her trust in Loki might help to ease her own fears, should those arise.

Loki leaned back on the chair and dropped his head backwards, staring at the ceiling of the balcony. “I hate life right now.” He groaned.

“It will be alright, brother.” Thor patted Loki’s thigh in an optimistic manner then turned to Strange. How Thor could be optimistic after such a revelation, was beyond Loki’s understanding. “Assuming Loki’s powers have been transferred to Emily, how do we get transfer them back to him?”

“It needs to be in a similar manner.” Loki sighed, sitting up straight and running a hand over his face.

The sorcerer nodded. “Indeed. Though fortunately for you, it doesn’t have to be another cardiac arrest.”

“Good. Haven’t been a fan of those.”

“Doesn’t rule it out though.”

“A pity.” A sigh. “I’m open to suggestions at this point.”

“Your powers left your body under an enormous surge of electrical current..”

“There is no way I would electrocute her, sorcerer!” Loki interrupted him, getting up and pacing the length of the balcony.

Thor got up as well as an idea occurred to him. “What if I can help?”

Loki and Strange turned to him. “That might work.” Strange said.

“I will not allow you to strike her with lightning, Thor.” Loki’s voice was low, almost hissing. He glared at his brother like he was about to stab him if he dared to hurt Emily.

Shit.. he.. would he stab his own brother.. for a mortal? The thought caught Loki off guard and his expression turned into confusion. Thor noticed the sudden change in mannerisms as Loki walked over to the rail and leaned against it, watching the trainees in the backyard of the Sanctum. Both Thor and Strange looked at Loki, expecting him to say something.

When he didn’t, Thor sighed and walked over to his brother. “Loki, what I meant was just a small amount of lightening, nothing harmful. Only enough to mildly shock her. It might jump start something and you can get your powers back.” He offered in a soft tone.

“That wouldn’t work.” Strange said. “It has to be something big.”

“If it involves harming Emily, then I don’t want it.” Loki turned to look at the two. “Nothing is worth harming her. Not even my own seiðr.” He looked at Thor, his emotions written in his eyes. “I’d rather live without magic for the rest of my existence than to cause her harm, brother.”

Thor recognized the look in his brother’s eyes and a warm smile appeared on his face. He had the same look on him when he was still with Jane. It was so rare seeing Loki caring about someone this much outside their family, Thor thought his heart was melting in happiness for his brother.

“I will only support whatever decision you make, brother.” He placed a hand on Loki’s shoulder and gave it a squeeze. Loki nodded, appreciating his brother’s support.

“Then our work here is done.” Loki said, patting Thor’s hand that was on his shoulder and then turned to Strange. “Thank you, Sorcerer Supreme.” He said and walked over to Strange, extending his hand. “For the revelation about my seiðr and for helping me through my anxiety.”

Doctor Strange took Loki’s offered hand and shook it. “I will keep looking for alternatives to transfer your powers back to you. In ways that would cause her no harm whatsoever. I will contact you once I find anything.”

“Thank you for the offer.”

Loki and Thor left the Sanctum without a solution, but armed with information and a single decision. Loki was not going to bother getting his powers back at the cost of causing Emily any kind of harm. It was just not worth it. He had been living without it for the past couple of months and he was sure he can do without for eternity.

The problem he was facing now was telling Emily about this. He still worried about how she would react if she found out she had Jotunn blood. Aside from that, he had a revelation of his own to think through. He had feelings for the nurse. Feelings he didn’t want to admit to in the past and came to crash against his mind when he thought he might hurt her trying to get his powers back.

He took a deep breath as he got into the Stark company car that was waiting for them at the entrance to take them back to the tower.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are always appreciated <3 Thanks for reading!


	26. Chapter 26

The ride home was in complete silence. Loki’s mind was buzzing with different scenarios about how Emily would take the news, with most of them having negative outcomes. He felt his heart beating hard against his chest as he went through every single scenario, trying to come up with a common ground and a plan on how to take things further. It was proving to be a bit difficult, what with the car being stuck in traffic and everyone around them was honking at each other. It was distracting really.

He leaned his elbow against the shaded window and rested his head against his fist as his eyes roamed the buildings on the side.

Why did it have to be like this? Why couldn’t he ever have things simply handed to him for once? Why couldn’t life give him a chance to live like a normal person? No obligations towards people, no responsibilities that were meant for royals, no subjects. No battles or wars, be it against enemies or one’s self. Just him and his loved ones. A normal life, like everyone else. He might have had that once, until he hit puberty and had to start his formal trainings. Normalcy was overrated by that time. He would study, train, spar, go hunting with Thor and other adults, come back to take care of the game, then study some more. His responsibilities only grew more as he aged. The only part of it that he absolutely loved was his mother’s teachings. She taught him how to use his seiðr, advised him about its merits and dangers, cautioned him, trained him. His seiðr served him as the only reminder he had left of his mother, and now even that had been taken from him.

The only consolation he had was the fact that it resided within Emily. It wasn’t totally lost.

“Brother?” Thor spoke softly and Loki turned to look at him, a concerned frown on his face that he simply didn’t bother to conceal. “I’m sorry we didn’t get the answers we hoped for.”

Loki turned his gaze back to the streets, their car moving forward slowly in the traffic. “I don’t know what we were hoping for, but this definitely was not it.”

“I’m still sorry.”

“It’s not your fault, Thor.” Loki turned to his brother with a little smile tugging at his lips, though disappointment evident on his face. “We couldn’t have anticipated what we learned today.”

“But you’re worried nonetheless.”

“Can you blame me, though?” Loki sighed, looking back outside and crossing his arms. They were finally out of the traffic jam. “I worry for her sanity. For her in general.”

“Are you going to tell her today?”

“I don’t know.” He looked ahead for a moment, brows frowning while deep in thought. “I’m of half a mind not to tell her at all. What if it changes things between us?” his expression changed to a softer one, full of worry and concern. He turned to look at Thor again. “But I have experienced first hand the result of keeping such secrets. I don’t want to do that to her. I don’t want to lose her, brother.”

“You won’t. Simply talk to her, brother. You can either do it in private, or with me and maybe Pepper there as well, if it makes it any easier.”

“It wouldn’t. I believe she deserves privacy. If she decides later to tell Pepper, it’s her call.”

Thor nodded. “Wise decision, brother.”

As they were approaching the tower, Thor felt a buzz in his pocket and froze for a moment before realizing he had totally forgotten to send Pepper a message to ask if it was safe to come back. As he took his phone out and checked the in message, he sighed in relief.

“What is it?” Loki asked.

“It’s Pepper. Says that Steve has just left and it’s safe to come back.” He smiled.

“We forgot to send her a text before leaving the Sanctum.” Loki chuckled, shaking his head.

“Aye, that we did.” At least their mishap brought a smile to his brother’s face, Thor was pleased.

As the car parked in front of the tower, Loki and Thor got out and walked to the entrance. Stark employees were going up and down the main entrance and through the hallway, some greeted them as they passed. They reached the elevator and pressed the button. While they waited, Loki looked around. He felt like he was being watched. As if a pair of eyes were glued to the back of his neck.

He casually took a step closer to Thor. “Don’t move, but I think we’re being watched.”

Thor only looked up to the numbers showing which floor the elevator was on. Five more and they can step in. He put on a wide grin and started laughing as he placed his arm around Loki’s shoulder, pulling him closer, as if Loki had told him something funny. “Oh brother you crack me up!” he said loudly, earning them a few looks from the employees. Loki was about to say something when Thor brought his lips to his ears. “Felt it too.” He whispered and then placed a kiss on his cheek, and continued to laugh. Loki chuckled, grateful that his brother was putting up an act as to not show they felt eyes being on them. He patted Loki’s back as the elevator arrived and they stepped in, both grinning like they had no care in the world.

Once the doors closed, both their expressions changed into frowns.

“FRIDAY, we felt we were being watched at the lobby. Could you run a scan for anything suspicious?” Thor immediately said, looking at one of FRIDAY’s sensors.

“Scan in process. I also informed Mrs. Stark about your concern.” FRIDAY responded promptly.

“Thank you.” Thor said and turned to Loki, who was pointedly looking at the elevator buttons with a deep frown. “What’s on your mind?”

“I only felt one set of eyes on me.” Loki turned to Thor, “You?”

“Also one.” He sighed. “If it was only one of us, I would have thought it’s the exhaustion of the day. But both of us feeling it makes it a bit weird.”

“My thoughts exactly.”

“Scan complete. Nothing suspicious was detected, Mr. Odinson.” The AI spoke.

“Can’t be.” Thor said, shaking his head. His instincts rarely betrayed him, and when it came to detecting being watched, he was never wrong.

“We asked for a scan of anything suspicious.” Loki said, “the fact that it came with nothing means it was probably an employee.”

“Why would an employee be watching us?”

“I don’t know, brother.”

As Asgardian royals, and later, in Thor’s case, as an Avenger and in Loki’s case, the alien who tried to concur the Earth, they were used to people staring. Being watched in a predatory manner felt different than being stared at because you were recognized. It made the hair at the back of his neck stand and a feeling of unease would creep up his spine. There lay the difference.

Loki started tapping his foot impatiently, wanting to get out of the elevator to see whether Pepper, Morgan and Emily were fine. Though if something had happened, FRIDAY would have alerted them by now. The thought brought some ease to his mind, but he remained on high alert.

Once they arrived at the penthouse, Pepper walked over and greeted them. “FRIDAY told me you asked for a scan at the lobby. It came back with nothing. What did you see?”

“We felt we were being watched.” Thor said. “Both of us.”

“And it’s not because it was the two of you? You know, being recognized and all.” She asked. Doesn’t hurt to be sure.

Loki shook his head. “We’re used to being stared at, this felt different.”

“Alright. FRIDAY, double the security measures. Tell Happy to come to my office. Get me Nick on the phone in ten minutes.”

“Right away, boss.”

“I’ll take care of things. Can you two watch Morgan until I come back? She’s playing in her room.” Pepper smiled at them, already knowing the answer.

“Absolutely.” Loki said with a smile and Thor nodded.

“Okay, see you in a bit.”

Pepper headed to her office and both Loki and Thor went to Morgan’s room to keep her company.

“Loki! Look what a made!” Morgan grabbed the Lego box that she made and proudly showed it to Loki the moment he entered her room.

“Ooh, that’s amazing, little one!” He crouched in front of her as he held the box like it was the most precious thing in the world, turned it around, looking at it in awe.

“It’s a magic box!” She said with enthusiasm. “It’s for the toof fairy. When you put a toof in it, the fairy finds it and leaves you a coin.”

“The toof fairy, you say?” he grinned, amused by the way she pronounced ‘tooth’.

“Yeah! My toofie is moving.” She pulled her bottom lip down to show him which tooth it was.

“Oh wow, that’s fantastic!” He pulled her into his arms. “You know what that means, right?” she shook her head no. “It means you will be getting a big girl tooth soon after!”

Her eyes lit up at that. “I can do big girl things then!”

Both Loki and Thor laughed at her innocence. Thor came to crouch next to them. “You will have a lot of time to do big girl things, little Morgan.” He ruffled her hair and she giggled. “You will be able to start on those once you have all your big girl teeth.”

“Will all my toofies fall out together?” she looked at Loki with wide eyes.

“No, my dear,” he chuckled, “it will take a while. So you don’t have to worry about it.”

“Oh, good.” She sighed in relief. “For a moment I thought I won’t have toofies. How am I supposed to eat without them?” she raised her palms up, questioning the insanity of not having teeth to eat with.

“That’s exactly why they don’t fall off at the same time. My Iron Maiden needs her nutrients.” Loki grinned and kissed her cheek. “So tell me, do you feel like playing with us?”

“Yes!”

“Good, I think we have time until dinner. What do you feel like playing?”

“Princess tea party!”

“Princess tea party it is!”

-*-*-*-*-*-

After having dinner together, Pepper had taken Morgan to bed while Loki and Thor lounged in the living room waiting for her to return. Once she was back, she dropped onto the couch and groaned.

“That girl is going to be the end of me.” She rubbed her eyes and then sat up straight. “Sorry, you shouldn’t have seen that.” She chuckled, a bit embarrassed.

Loki waved a dismissive have. “Don’t worry about it. What did she do?” Loki smiled.

“She talks a lot!” Pepper huffed, dropping back onto the couch. To hell with appearances. She was in her own home, for God’s sake!

Loki chuckled and Thor grinned. “That she does.” Thor nodded in agreement. “But I find it to be endearing, really.”

“She definitely gave Tony a run for his money.” Pepper snorted. “And he talked a lot.” A warm, but sad smile appeared on her face upon remembering.

No one said anything for a while, because there was nothing to be said. While both Thor and Loki knew first hand how losing a loved one felt, their experience was different than that of Pepper. The brothers gave each other a knowing look of sympathy. They figured they could talk to Pepper about today’s happenings in the lobby at another time, and Loki wanted to talk to Emily anyway and she was still working it seemed. Otherwise she would have been there by now. Hugo was still there, too. He made his way to Pepper and lounged lazily next to her on the couch, with his head over her lap.

The elevator doors opened and Emily practically dragged herself into the living room and dropped unceremoniously on an armchair across from everyone. “I’ll pretend I’m alone. Don’t talk to me. Today was hell.” She sunk down on the arm chair, her legs extended before her and arms dropping on either side of the seat. “Hell. Hell, I tell you!” her hair was poking in every direction and her glasses had slipped down her nose and she couldn’t care less.

Loki looked at her, tilting his head to the side. Never had he imagined he would ever see her in such a state. No matter how exhausted she was, she would always look in top shape and always composed. Just like Pepper. Not a single hair out of place. But right now, both women seemed to have an off-day kind of a situation.

“What happened?” Pepper asked her cousin, while she stroked Hugo’s back.

“Got called at the hospital. Since I had nothing to do here, I went. Big mistake!” she huffed. “Major car accident, lots of injuries. They needed as many people as they could get at the ER. It doesn’t help when you’re being too demanding while you’re bleeding to death!” She groaned in irritation.

“Well, you chose the life of a nurse.” Pepper chuckled.

“I’m starting to doubt my life choices.”

Loki and Thor simply looked at each other with raised eyebrows, not wanting to get in the middle of that conversation, just in case they would overstep and offend either of the women.

“Why don’t you stay the night?” Pepper asked.

“Thanks, Pep.” Emily finally straightened up in her seat, adjusting her hair in the process. “But tomorrow I’m working at the hospital again, so I need a good night’s sleep. I’ll come for lunch before work though. I’m working a late shift.”

“Okay. Let me get you something to eat first, then.” Pepper got up, which made Hugo get off the couch and go climb onto Emily’s lap.

“Make it to go, Pep. I should leave soon.” She said and welcomed Hugo on her lap. “Come here you big baby.” Emily ruffled Hugo’s fur behind his ears. “You’re getting a good brushing tomorrow, my boy. Yes, you are.” She spoke to him as if talking to a child. Hugo licked her face as he sat on her lap, wagging his tail excitedly.

Loki watched the exchange between her and her companion with awe. It was heart-warming how loving she was with the animal, and how happy he was with her. It didn’t matter to her that the dog was disfigured in the face. She loved him nonetheless. He wondered if she could ever accept herself as a part-Jotunn as well, once she learned about it of course. And seeing how exhausted and irritated she felt about work, he figured it would be counterproductive if he talked to her tonight. Maybe tomorrow around lunch?

“Emily,” he decided to ask her about it, “Is it possible that you come a bit before lunch?”

“Hmm? Oh yeah, sure. Any particular reason?” she looked at him while still scratching behind Hugo’s ears.

“There was something I needed to discuss with you.”

“Sure, no problem.” She smiled and motioned for Hugo to get off her lap, which he did. She then stood up and stretched her neck. “I’ll get going then. Need all the sleep I can get.” She gave the brothers an exhausted grin and headed towards the coat rack to get Hugo’s leash.

Pepper came back with a couple of tupperware boxes and handed them to her. “Warm them up before eating.”

“Will do, thanks, Pep.” She gave her cousin a quick hug and then turned to wave at Loki and Thor. “See you guys tomorrow!”

Both men waved at her as she left. Pepper went back into the kitchen and came back with a bottle of beer and two glasses of red wine. She handed the bottle to Thor and one glass of wine to Loki, and with her own in hand she sat down on the couch.

“So, how did the meeting with Stephen go?”


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in a day, because I felt like it (also the previous chapter felt like a filler of some sort, so, meh)
> 
> Now let's get to the exciting stuff.

Loki and Thor looked at each other before Loki started telling Pepper how the meeting with the Sorcerer had gone. He skilfully omitted the part about the theory that Emily might have Jotunn blood, because he wanted to talk to her about it first. He didn’t want it to be a ‘last to know’ scenario for her.

Pepper listened patiently to what Loki was telling her, and after he was done, she sat back and rolled her glass by the stem between her fingers as she thought about it. It was a lot of information to be dumped onto an already fragile mind like Loki’s. But Emily absorbing his seiðr? That was just nuts.

“It just doesn’t make any sense.” She finally said. “How can Emily have absorbed your power without even knowing it? Without ever showing any signs?”

“The works of the seiðr is a mystery to most. One needs to have some inclination to magic or even the Mystic Arts for them to feel it. They don’t necessarily show signs of having seiðr within.”

“Is she in danger?” Pepper looked concerned.

“No.” Loki shook his head. “When the seiðr transfers, it only enters the body it deems safe.”

“Safe?”

“The Gods in Asgard all posses their own seiðr.” Thor supplied helpfully. “Mine, for example, helps me control thunder and lightening. If I try to transfer it to Loki, it would reject him and either come back to me or try to find another, acceptable host. Loki’s would do the same. It apparently found Emily’s body the most acceptable after it was accidentally released due to the shock that was administered on Loki to revive him.” 

Pepper put her glass on the table before her and leaned over her knees with her elbows, burying her face into her palms. “She’s going to freak out. Hell, I’m freaking out!” she looked up to the Gods sitting before her. “When are you going to tell her?”

“Tomorrow. It’s what I wanted to talk to her about. Tonight didn’t seem appropriate, given how exhausted she seemed.” Loki said. He wanted to tell Pepper about the Jotunn theory, he really did. It would give her a more accurate explanation on why Emily could absorb his powers. While the explanation they gave her was true, it didn’t include an essential part: you need to be of an alien species. Midgard had the Mystic Arts, which was the equivalent to the seiðr. It was the only one of the nine realms that had its own form of magic, which didn’t correspond to the magic on the other eight realms. If he had attempted to explain it this way to Pepper, he would have had to reveal their theory. He decided if Emily wished to inform Pepper about it, then he can give her the full explanation without omitting any details.

It sounded like a good plan. He doubted things would go as planned. They rarely did for him.

-*-*-*-*-*-

Loki couldn’t sleep that night. He kept tossing and turning in bed, tried counting sheep, even tried a sleeping spell -while knowing it wouldn’t work- and he simply remained awake. His mind kept going to the conversation he was going to have with Emily before noon the upcoming day. He felt too anxious about how she might react. He didn’t want to ruin their friendship, even though he knew no one was to blame for what happened. But this wasn’t about that. It was more about whether she actually had Jotunn genes or not.

Every time he tried to close his eyes, he kept seeing different scenarios play in his mind. In one, she was crying. In another, she was terrified. And in another, she was so angry she started breaking whatever came her way. None of the thoughts ended on a positive note for her and he didn’t know what to do in any of them. At some point he sat up and tossed his blanket aside. He looked at the bedside clock and it showed it to be 4:26 in the morning. There was no point in fighting insomnia anymore. He’ll just stay awake until heaven knows when.

He went into the bathroom and turned on the shower. Maybe the hot water could relax his tense muscles. His toes didn’t even flinch when they touched the chilled ceramic floor. His mind was in shreds; he couldn’t get the image of Emily being scared and angry out of his head.

He turned the nob and the water poured down. He stripped down and once the water was a pleasant temperature he stepped in. He stood there with closed eyes as the water poured down his body, his mind fading into dullness and turning everything into a foggy illusion. The sensation of the warm water was calming. For a few moments it took his mind off of everything. It must have been the water. He let the heat soak into his skin, leaning against the tiles as his legs threatened to buckle.

Once he finished showering, he dried himself and wrapped the towel around his waist and used another to dry his hair. He walked into the bedroom and sat on the edge of his bed and looked around, sighing. The shower had helped calming his muscles, but it did nothing for his thoughts.

Maybe if he had some Asgardian mead he could get himself drunk and would at least cut himself off the world for a while. Alas, Asgard was no more, and he doubted they would have the needed ingredients in New Asgard to make their own. From what Thor had told him, they had Midgardian beer, and it took Thor a while to get drunk from those. Besides, they didn’t seem to be effective if he could kick the habit off instantly after being a depressed drunk for five years. So there goes that idea. Not that he would consider it a good one, but he was desperate for a distraction right now.

He decided to get dressed. Choosing something to wear can serve as a short term distraction. He went into the closet, rummaged through the clothes he had and tossed a casual outfit together. A blue jeans with a tight, long sleeved shirt. He pulled the sleeves up to his elbow and grabbed a pair of black ankle boots with a pair of black socks and put them on. Then he went through the drawer with his belts and watches and chose a black belt and a matching watch to go with his outfit.

After drying his hair, he went to the kitchen to make himself some coffee. If he was not going to sleep, he was going to have his morning coffee in style.

He grabbed a book and his mug of coffee and went to sit in the living room. Turning on a single lamp for enough light to be able to read. He brought his legs up the couch, despite having shoes on, his back resting against the armrest and opened the page he had reached the last time he was reading.

After two more cups of coffee and a quick breakfast, he finished reading the book. He checked his watch, it was 10 o’clock and the sun was shining into the living room. He was so immersed in the book that he hadn’t even noticed it. Thor must still have been asleep, since he hadn’t heard or seen him yet.

Putting the book aside to return to the library at a later time, he got off the couch and took his cup back to the kitchen and started washing it, along with the plate and utensils he had used for breakfast. After that he made a cup of coffee for Thor and took it to his room. Or rather, to Hawkeye’s room that his brother was currently occupying.

Thor was snoring when Loki walked in. The younger God shook his head at the noise and put the cup on the night stand and sat on the edge of the bed. “Thor, wake up.” He shook his brother’s arm. That did nothing other than making his brother turn to the other side with a grunt and continued sleeping. “Wake up, you big oaf. I need you up and off in an hour.” He shook Thor a little harder.

Thor finally opened his eyes and sat up. Blinking a few times to get the sleep off his eyes, he looked at Loki, who was fully dressed like he was about to go out. “You going somewhere, brother?”

“No. I do not need to be going somewhere to be properly dressed.” Loki chuckled. “I made you coffee. Don’t you dare fall back asleep.” He grabbed the cup and handed it to Thor, who took it with a mumbled thanks. “In case you didn’t hear me, I need you out of here in an hour when Emily comes. I wish to talk to her in private.”

That seemed to work like a concentrated caffeine for Thor as he suddenly felt fully awake. “Of course, brother. I will go visit Banner at his work. You do not need to worry.”

“I’m not worried about you, Thor.” Loki sighed, casting his eyes onto his lap. “I worry about her. Well, her reaction.”

Thor gave his brother a warm smile and placed a hand over his shoulder. “It will be fine, brother. You will be able to explain things to her, help her understand it.”

“I know I can do that.. but.. what if her reaction is extreme? Like mine?”

Thor couldn’t blame his brother for worrying this much. His own reaction to finding out he was a Frost Giant was one of the reasons their relationship fell apart. Thankfully things worked out between them, but it took years and a massive amount of loss and grief until they had gotten to where they were now.

“Loki, you will do fine. Trust me. No matter her reaction, you will be able to explain things to her like no other would be able to.” He took a sip of his coffee, “Besides, the circumstances between you discovering your heritage and hers are quite different. We don’t even know for sure if she has Jotunn blood running through her. We’ve only been making assumptions to justify why your seiðr had chosen her.”

“I don’t know, Thor. I couldn’t sleep last night at all thinking about this.”

Thor sighed. He knew his brother was extremely worried, he could see it on his face and hear it in his voice. “If it makes you feel better, if her reaction is.. well, if it’s bad, then I’m only a FRIDAY call away. And so is Pepper.”

Loki nodded. “Thank you, brother. I hope it won’t come to that, but it’s good to know.”

“Good.” Thor grinned and put his cup on the night stand. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to get ready and eat something before heading out.” He pulled the blanket off himself and got off the bed, butt naked.

Loki face palmed and shook his head. Of course Thor would be sleeping naked, no matter his body shape or size. He did that on Asgard as well. “You haven’t changed at all, brother.” He chuckled, getting up.

“Why should I?” Thor grinned and went to the bathroom.

Loki couldn’t help but laugh a little as he left his brother’s room and went to the kitchen to prepare some breakfast for his brother and for himself as well. A second breakfast didn’t sound bad right now.

-*-*-*-*-*-

By the time they finished breakfast together, Thor was getting ready to go visit Bruce. The scientist was working on a piece of alien technology, trying to study it and understand its working. Thor would visit him from time to time to give some input or explanation on whatever Bruce had come across. The whole thing was fascinating for Bruce. And while Tony wasn’t there anymore, the other inventors at Stark Industries never stopped working on new creations. Technology, just like people, kept moving on.

As the elevator doors opened for Thor to step in, Emily stepped out with a smile on her face. “Hey Thor, looking great today!”

“Thank you, Emily.” Thor grinned. He loved getting compliments. It didn’t even matter where or who they came from. It simply brightened his day.

Emily walked further into the living room, Loki stood up to greet her. As nervous as he was, he forced himself to smile. She noticed the twitch at the corner of his lips and furrowed her brows. “Loki, what’s wrong?” she asked as she walked up to him.

“Nothing,” he motioned for her to sit as he nervously paced back and forth. “Can I get you something to drink? Or.. or breakfast maybe?”

“It’s almost noon, Loki, I already had breakfast.” She chuckled softly, taking a seat on the couch. “But thanks for offering.” Despite the little smile on her face, she couldn’t help but worry. Loki’s demeanour was a bit off. As if something was causing him immense worry. The dark circles under his eyes indicated lack of sleep. The fidgeting and shaky hands, lots of caffeine. Just how much coffee did he have so far? The day had barely even started!

Loki nodded, sitting down next to her. He fiddled with his thumbs as he tried to come up with a way to start up the conversation. His hands were shaking, his leg shuddering furiously and his heart was racing. All the scenarios he was thinking of last night came back with a bang. He ran his hand through his hair and took a deep breath, keeping his gaze to the ground.

The crease between Emily’s eyebrows deepened as observed Loki’s highly nervous state. She moved closer to him and gently lay her hand over his shaking knee. “Loki? What’s wrong? What’s troubling you?”

Loki stopped moving his leg the moment her hand touched it. His breath caught in his throat, he swallowed, slowly raising his eyes to meet hers. “I met the sorcerer yesterday.” His voice was soft, almost a whisper as he was terrified of what she would say to what he had to tell her.

“Okay, do you want to tell me what you talked about?” Without thinking, she took his hands in hers, hoping that would bring some ease to his mind.

Loki stared at their hands and started telling her what happened at the Sanctum Santorum. She listened in silence, never interrupting or asking questions. She squeezed his hands when they started shaking again, running her thumb over the cool skin.

“And then.. he.. well.. we..” Loki took a deep breath. This was it. She was going to hate him forever. Or she would start crying. Or she’d get angry. Or.. or.. the thoughts never stopped invading his mind. He closed his eyes and shook his head in an attempt to disperse those thoughts. He needed to concentrate. He needed to focus. So he looked at her. Focused on her. He felt his heart about to explode, but not of fear and worry, no. He cared deeply for her. He was developing feelings for her. And now he was about to throw those all away for the sake of telling her a theory that may or may not be true.

“And then what?” she whispered carefully, seeing all kinds of emotions on his face, while hers was full of plain worry.

Loki took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. He had to tell her now, otherwise he would chicken out and regret it for the rest of his miserable life. He might also tell her now and regret it for the rest of his _very_ miserable life. This was just getting too much! “Strange came with the idea that you absorbed my seiðr when you resuscitated me. That time when you got hurt.” He looked at her as he spoke. “Which in theory is impossible unless my seiðr would find you a safe host for it. And a safe host for the seiðr would be someone of the same race or species.”

Emily raised an eyebrow, running that information through her head. Same race or species? She was human and he was a Asgardian, or rather, a Frost Giant. “Loki, that’s ridiculous. We’re not even of the same race! I don’t even have magical abilities.” She snorted at the thought. Her and magic? Now that’s the joke of the century! “You’re pranking me, right?” she grinned at him, but he shook his head, face dead serious. Her smile disappeared and she furrowed her brows again.

“I do not joke about such a matter, Em. It was this type of revelation that started my downfall years ago.” His voice was low, almost purring though she could hear the sorrow behind it.

“I don’t get it.” She whispered.

“The sorcerer’s theory led to another one, that made the first one plausible. You’re the only one around who can touch me while I’m in my Jotunn form without getting affected.” His hands were shaking even more fiercely as he tried to supress the anxiety that was building up and threatening to burst.

“Loki, what are you saying?”

“Emily, you might be a Jotunn.”

“I’m a.. what?” she chuckled nervously, letting go of Loki’s hands and sitting back onto the couch. This was ridiculous beyond reason. She sat forward again and turned to the side to face Loki and placed a hand over his arm. “Loki, did you hit your head somewhere?” She looked at him with concern, trying to find any visible signs of a concussion. He either had hit his head and was blabbering nonsense, or he was joking as a defence mechanism due to the way he was behaving while telling her how the meeting with Strange went.

Loki shook his head at her question, while his mind tried to wrap around her reaction. That was not in any of the scenarios he had thought of. But maybe that’s how it starts? She’d first be in denial and then she’d unleash her wrath upon him? He was dreading it, to say the least. “I.. my head is fine, unfortunately.” Well, at least physically it was fine. Mentally, though? Not so much. “It’s the only explanation we could find in the books at the Sanctum.” He eyed her carefully.

Emily slumped back on the couch, realization slowly creeping up her mind. It didn’t make sense. She was human. She was a 100% sure of it. Born and raised a human, to human parents. She had human relatives, human friends. She’s never been to space. Hell, she’s never been to outside of the United States even! “No, this can’t be. I’m human. A hundred percent human.” Her gaze was glued intently at the TV screen before her as she thought out loud. “It’s impossible.”

“I’m sorry.” Loki whispered, still looking at her with caution, expecting her to burst at any moment.

She was silent for a while. Her brain working in overdrive. It was just too much to take in. How could a single piece of information do this to her? She was simply at loss of words. She got up and started pacing the room, her arms wrapped around herself to stop her from shivering. He must be joking. It was a cruel joke, yes, but a joke nonetheless. “No, I can’t be a Jotunn. That’s impossible. Clearly you’re trying to pull a prank.” She talked more to herself than him as she walked back and forth around the room. “You’re the God of Mischief, so it’s only natural you would prank people.” Her voice was shaking by the end of the sentence and her eyes were becoming watery. She couldn’t stop herself from shaking. “Yeah, you’re just joking. Ha ha, very funny.” She wiped her eyes and sniffed.

Loki got up and stood before her, halting her pacing and put his hands over her arms. “I would not make fun of such a thing, Emily.” He said softly.

She looked at him as the corner of her lips started twitching downwards while she fought against crying. She could see the seriousness in Loki’s eyes and that simply made it all feel worse. “I don’t know what to think. I don’t know what to feel.” She couldn’t hide the quiver in her voice as her tears won the fight and started flowing down her cheeks. “I don’t know, Loki.” A sob escaped her throat and he pulled her into his arms. 

“I’m so sorry, Emily. I really am.” He said softly as he held her while she cried against his chest. Mentally kicking himself for causing her distress. He knew this was going to happen. And while he had been running this exact scenario in his head since yesterday, he never thought of how he would or should react to it himself. It was all so confusing. So painful. He didn’t want to cause her pain, but she had the right to know. Keeping it from her might have caused an even worse reaction than just crying. He wasn’t sure if he should see it as a consolation. Maybe, in a way, it was. But this wasn’t about him at this moment, so he turned his focus to her.

They stood there in the middle of the living room for a while, until Emily’s sobs subsided into soft gasps. Loki gently ran his hand over her upper back as he tried to think of ways to comfort her and ease her worries. But he came up with nothing. He didn’t know what to do other than stand there and hold her while she cried. It tore at his heart that he made her feel this way. If Thanos was still alive this would have been the time Loki would have sought him out and cut him painfully into shreds.

Emily finally managed to calm herself. She never thought she would ever hear such a revelation about herself, nor could she have ever imagined the reaction she had to it. She was scared. Completely and utterly scared. Not only by the fact that apparently she had Frost Giant genes, which could somehow explain why she could touch Loki when he was in his Jotunn form, but also by the fact that apparently her body had absorbed his magic and she had no idea if that was going to affect her in anyway, nor did she know how to return it to him. She hadn’t had any symptoms to indicate a change within her, but like with a lot of viruses, it could have been be laying dormant and would come to bite her in the ass in full force when she least expected it to. What if it was slowly killing her without her knowing? What if it worked like cancer cells? Silently spreading through her body and only revealing itself when it’s too late to do something about it? She can’t die now! She’s too young to die! She hasn’t even reached her life goals yet! Not that she was even close to achieving them, but that was beside the point!

She slowly pushed herself away from Loki’s embrace, but not stepping away completely. She wiped her eyes and then put a palm over his chest and looked at him with puffy, red eyes. “I.. I need to think this through.” She patted his chest as she sniffed. “I need some time to think.. and a tissue..” she turned to look at the coffee table and saw a tissue box. He let go of her as she walked over to the table and grabbed a tissue to clean her nose. Then she turned to Loki and a lump formed in her throat again. She simply sat down on the coffee table, her arms dropping between her legs as she slumped her shoulders. “Loki, I’m scared.” She whispered and her tears started flowing again.

Loki instantly dropped to his knees before her and cupped her face. “Don’t be.” He whispered as he looked into her eyes. “The seiðr does not harm the person it decides to reside in. If it did, you would have known it the moment it entered you.” He managed a little smile, hoping it would give her some comfort.

“W-what about being..” she closed her eyes tightly to stop the tears from flowing, which wasn’t really working.

Loki ran his thumbs over her cheeks, wiping the tears away. “It’s only a theory, we don’t know it for sure. The only thing we have to a confirmation is that you can touch my Jotunn skin without getting a frost bite.”

Confirmation. That’s what they needed. Emily opened her eyes and looked into Loki’s. “Confirmation. We need confirmation.” She said with a determined nod. Loki blinked in confusion and let her go as she suddenly stood up.

“I don’t understand.” He said, standing up as he scratched the back of his neck.

“You say I might have Frost Giant genes, right?” she wiped her eyes and cleaned her nose again before putting the used tissue in her pants pocket and grabbing another tissue out of the box on the table. Loki nodded, still not knowing where she was going with this. “A blood test can confirm. Let’s go to Bruce.” She declared and marched towards the elevator.

Loki stood in his spot, caught a bit off guard by the idea which didn’t even cross his mind, because who in Asgard did blood tests? Exactly, no one. They used the seiðr for that and his was currently residing in a mortal.

“Come on.” She motioned for him to join her as the elevator door opened and she stepped in. Loki hurriedly joined her and stood next to her in silence. This was going in a totally different route than he had thought.

-*-*-*-*-*-

“Em, did something happen?” Bruce got up from his seat upon seeing a puffy red-eyed Emily walk into the lab, followed closely by Loki. Thor looked at his brother, who gave him a little shrug.

“Yeah, I need you to compare my blood to Loki’s. See if they match in any way.” She said and pulled a chair to sit down. She rolled her sleeve up and presented it to him.

“Uh.. I’m not sure I understand.” Bruce said, pulling his chair to sit down in front of Emily, taking her outstretched hand and simply holding it. “Can you explain?”

Emily sniffed, wiping her nose with the tissue in her other hand. “Loki just told me I might have Frost Giant genes. I want confirmation.”

“It’s a theory we reached while talking to the sorcerer.” Loki said, which made Bruce nod. “Didn’t Thor tell you?”

“It wasn’t my place to tell, brother.” Thor said.

“Alright, I’ll need more information about that before I stick a needle in you.” Bruce told Emily, who pulled her hand back to cross her arms as she frowned at her friend.

“I’m too upset right now to tell you anything.” She turned to Loki, “could you?”

Loki nodded, placing a hand over her shoulder before he went on telling Bruce what he told her about the two theories they came up with. Emily kept a tearful gaze to the side, focusing on a piece of paper to keep herself from bursting out crying again. Yes, she was scared, but it didn’t mean it’s the end of the world. She realized she was simply overwhelmed by the news and her reaction was, more or less, normal. The test might come negative anyway.

Once Loki finished telling the tale, Bruce grabbed what he needed to get blood from both of them. He grabbed a tourniquet and wrapped it a few inches above the point he was going to draw blood from. Emily curled her fingers into a fist as she watched Bruce put on gloves and started to palpate her skin to find a pulse inside her elbow and the surrounding area, then he proceeded to disinfect the skin and finally grabbed the needle and carefully inserted it an angle. He then grabbed a vial and attached it to the needle, blood instantly starting to fill inside. He released the tourniquet and once he had enough blood in the vial, he grabbed a piece of cotton and pressed it at the injection point and carefully removed the needle and capped it.

After shaking the blood vial a couple of times, he set it aside and grabbed a plaster and placed it over the cotton on Emily’s forearm to hold it in place. He then took off the gloves and labelled the vial and wrote down Emily’s name before he turned to Loki. “Grab a chair.”

“Here, take my seat.” Emily said and stood up.

Loki sat down and pulled his sleeve a bit further above the elbow than he originally had it. Bruce proceeded to do the same procedure with him, with the difference that he didn’t need to apply a plaster over the cotton, as the tiny puncture wound closed itself almost instantly. “Neat.” He said as he took the gloves off and labelled Loki’s vial as well.

Loki rolled his sleeve down to the elbow, where it originally was before and stood up, looking at Emily who was standing to the side with a frown on her face and arms folded against her chest. He wiped his palms against his jeans and turned to Bruce. “How soon can you get the results?”

“FRIDAY?” Bruce asked after he put both vials in an analyser.

“Running diagnostics. Results will be ready momentarily.” FRIDAY responded.

“Look for similarities.” Bruce said while he closely watched the monitor screen. Emily came to stand beside him.

Two sets of DNA showed up on the screen with each strand painted in different colours. They flickered constantly while the numbers underneath kept changing, rising and dropping until they came to a halt. A list of numbers showed, with next to each row stood the names of what strand of DNA they represented.

“Diagnostics complete.” FRIDAY said as the screen showed the results.

Loki’s were mostly marked as unknown, spare for some basic strands that seemed similar to the humanoid ones. One of the unknown ones stood at 100%, which Bruce took as it being his Jotunn strand of the DNA. Then he looked at the one from Emily, which also had a series of numbers and names. The one he looked for was marked as unknown and stood at 65%.

Emily’s blood froze. There it was, the confirmation that she wanted but was dreading. Loki and Thor walked over to look at the screens as well. Loki took a deep breath as he saw the numbers. His hand instinctively reached for Emily’s, not even realizing he was doing it.

When his hand touched hers, she pulled away, making Loki flinch. “I.. I need to go to work.” She mumbled. “Thanks, Bruce.”

“Em, we need to talk about this.” Bruce turned to her.

“I have to work.” She said and quickly left the lab.

Loki rubbed his face and went to sit down. “I fucked this up.”

“Brother, no. She’s simply in shock.” Thor walked over to his brother and put a palm over his shoulder.

Bruce kept looking at the screen. “Anyone would be shocked at such news, I guess.” He turned to Loki, giving him a knowing look. “Some even more than others.”

“Thanks for the reminder.” Loki sneered, but then shook his head. “My apologies, Banner, that was uncalled for.”

“No harm done.” Bruce said and stood up, taking the blood samples out of the analyser to dispose of them properly.

“Should I go after her or something? I feel like I should?” Loki asked his brother and Thor shook his head.

“Give her some time, brother.”

“I don’t know, Thor.” Loki sighed, running a hand through his hair. “When I told her, she thought it was a joke. Then she started crying and then wanted a blood test. I didn’t know what to do.” He looked at Thor, trying to get some advice.

“If there’s anything I learned from Jane, is that when a Midgardian woman wants to be left alone for a while, you do just that.” Thor gave his brother a gentle smile. “She’ll come to talk to you on her own accord, Loki. Trust me on this.”

Loki sighed in defeat. “I hope you’re right, brother.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have a long-ish chapter :)
> 
> This one's dedicated to [loki_tony_peter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/loki_tony_peter) because he came up with the idea way back on chapter 14 and I liked it and decided to try it out. So, thank you so much!

Peter Parker was a 17 year old with special abilities that landed him under the radar of one Tony Stark and eventually in the ranks of the Avengers. He would have been five years older if he hadn’t been ‘blipped’ -as people around him tend to call the snap-. Peter lived with his aunt, and had no intentions on moving out just yet. His plans for college used to be certain, he wanted to go to MIT, until recently. Now he was uncertain what he wanted to do in life. Sure, being Spiderman had been a part of his life for the past few years, but it didn’t pay at all, not financially, and unfortunately you couldn’t live off moral gratification. He was contemplating whether he should send out several college applications or just limit it to MIT. With the Stark scholarship under his belt, he knew he would get in easily. Only he wasn’t sure if he wanted to do it now or whether he wanted to wait.

One day he came back from school, his mind buzzing with the happenings of the day. After school he had done some patrolling. He had saved a kitten that had climbed a tree and couldn’t get back down. The old lady who owned the kitten was very thankful and gave him fresh baked cinnamon rolls. He liked those, a lot. He had also stopped three robberies, one attempted mugging, and helped an old man cross the street. A typical day for the friendly neighbourhood Spiderman.

As he opened the door to their apartment, he heard May talking on the phone in a hushed voice.

“No, absolutely not!” she hissed at whomever was on the other side of the line. “That would devastate him! No.. Listen, you cannot tell me what I may or may not tell my nephew!”

Peter froze in the hallway. Was May talking about him? Well, of course she was! He was her only nephew, duh! He tip-toed to the wall dividing the living room from the hallway and kept listening.

“Tracey,” So that’s who May was talking to, a friend of hers. “No, no, listen to me, woman! I can’t just go and tell him his parents didn’t die in a car accident! It will break his heart!”

Peter’s knees felt weak as he started shaking and he let his heavy backpack fall to the floor with a loud thud.

“Tracey, I’ll call you later. Peter seems to be back.” May said and hung up. “Peter, is that you?” she got up and was about to go to the hallway when Peter stepping in, eyes red and wet with tears. “Oh my God, Peter, what’s wrong?” she went over to him and was about to hug him when he stepped away.

“What was it you just told Tracey?”

May blinked for a moment and dread washed over her face as she realized he must have heard her conversation. “Peter, it’s not what you think. Come sit, we’ll talk.” She reached for his hand and he jerked away.

“Tell me, May, what really happened to my parents? If they didn’t die in a car crash, then what happened to them?”

May’s eyes were tearing up as well when Peter spoke. He was only 11 when it happened. They were on their way to pick him up from her place after a long day at work, when the invasion happened. May had taken Peter to hide in the basement of the building she lived in, which served as a sort of bunker for emergencies. According to the police report, one of the Chitauris had shot their car out of the way and it exploded, taking their lives instantly. Given the extent of the damage their bodies had gone through, the funeral had been a closed casket service. Little Peter was clinging to her side the whole time, crying his little eyes out not understanding why he wasn’t allowed see his parents one last time.

May sat down and leaned her elbows against her knees as she decided there was no point in keeping the truth from him anymore. She hadn’t planned on ever telling him the truth, but now that he had overheard her on the phone, there was no point in keeping it to herself any more. She waited for him to sit down before she started talking. She told him everything she knew. How his parents had called her on the way when the Chitauri attack had started, how they asked her to protect Peter until they got there, only they never managed to get out of Manhattan in one piece. She even told him she had gone to the city morgue to identify the bodies. She simply kept the part about them being barely recognizable to herself. He didn’t need to know that. This piece of information was already devastating for him, and knowing how deformed his parents’ bodies were would just break him.

“I’m going to kill him.” Peter said, tears flowing freely down his face.

“Peter, honey, they told us Loki is dead, remember?” May said as she wiped her tears.

“No, he’s not. I met him a while ago. He’s very much alive. He’s staying at the tower and now he’s going to wish he was dead.” He wiped his face as stood up and went to grab his backpack from the hallway. 

“Peter, wait, where are you going?” May ran after him.

“To the Stark Tower.” He said, pulling his suit out of the backpack and went into his room, locking the door behind him.

May knocked on the door. “Peter Parker, you give up that crazy idea right now, you hear me!”

He was quickly dressed in his suit and opened the door in anger. “No, aunt May, I’m going and you can’t stop me! He’ll pay for what he did!”

With that he turned around and his mask materialized over his face as he shot his webs towards the window and jumped out.

May was in a full mode panic. She quickly grabbed her phone and looked for Happy’s number and dialled it. “Come on, pick up, pick up! Happy! Yeah, nonono wait! We have an emergency. Peter found out how his parents died and is now heading to the tower for Loki. Yeah, he knows he’s there. Apparently they met a while ago.. well how should I know? He just told me now! Please tell Pepper. She’s probably the only one who can stop him at this point.” She paused for a moment before going on, wiping her eyes. “And Happy? Peter said he wanted to kill him. Please don’t let my nephew kill anyone.” She added softly as her tears rolled down her cheeks once more.

-*-*-*-*-*-

After leaving the lab, Loki decided he needed to take a walk to clear his mind. There was nothing for him to do for the time being. He just needed to wait until Emily came back to talk to him, or yell at him, whatever she would decide to do. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and just walked, not having any specific direction to go to. His legs lead him through the streets and across, until he suddenly reached the edge of the park. The tickle at the back of his neck, the feeling that he was being watched didn’t phase him at the moment. He couldn’t care less who or what it was who had eyes on him. His mind was too busy with more important things to pay attention to that. He knew it was the wrong thing to do. There could be danger lurking in a corner and he wouldn’t be able to do anything about it. Hell, with his magic gone he couldn’t do anything about it anyway. Even if he actually knew what it was that was watching him.

His legs led him to the same spot he had first met the young boy. The bench was empty, just as that part of the park was. Good, Loki thought, he needed some seclusion. He sat down on the couch, leaning forward over his knees and propped his chin over his fisted hands. He couldn’t help buy try to find ways to ease Emily’s mind. Ways that he could apologize to her for causing her all the distress.

Though distress was an understatement. With 65% match, she seemed to have a strong affinity to her Jotunn genes. It was a wonder why it hadn’t manifested yet, why she hadn’t shown any signs, even after being in contact with his skin. His own heritage came to light when another Frost Giant had grabbed his hand while they were fighting on Jotunheim. He needed his old books to find answers to that. Answers to how it came to be that a Frost Giant had mated with a Midgardian without harming them. Or maybe they were harmed in the process, who knows. Maybe they had shapeshifted? There have been tales of the Jotnar mating with the Aesir and Vanir centuries ago, before the war. Hell, his mother would have had all the answers he was seeking. He wondered if there was a way to contact her in the afterlife.. would the sorcerer be able to help? Probably not. The Midgardian Mystic Arts worked differently, and contacting the dead was probably not among their practices. He needed the light elves for that, or a Vanir shaman. Those were the hardest to come by, but he knew people who knew people. Or he used to, on Asgard.

His thoughts were rudely interrupted when he heard a thud not far away from him, instantly followed by a whooshing sound. Before Loki could react, his body violently pushed against the back of the bench by what seemed to be a sort of webbing. He tried to free himself and it wouldn’t budge. A few more layers kept piling up until even fidgeting was impossible.

Loki’s anxiety levels rose as did his heart beat and he started breathing fast. He looked ahead and saw a man in a red suit. No, it wasn’t a man. It was a boy, who was approaching him slowly, a hand extended at him. Loki noticed a contraption around the boy’s wrist, which he assumed where the webbing came from.

“Who are you? And what do you want with me?” Despite being trapped, Loki still tried to wiggle himself out of the sticky webbing that didn’t seem to want to give way. He eyed his attacker, noticing the spider logo on his chest, the red and blue suit.. he’d seen him before, but where.. oh! On the news, most likely! But wasn’t he supposed to be a superhero or something? Superheroes didn’t just attack civilians for no reason.. oh wait, he technically wasn’t a civilian. Shit, the invasion was coming to bite him in the ass once more.

“Spiderman.” The masked boy finally spoke, taking a few steps forward until he stood in front of Loki. He bent down a bit so they were face-to-face. “You killed my parents.” 

Loki’s anxiety ridden mind started trying to figure out what the highest Hel the spider boy was talking about. He remembered every imbecile he had killed in his life, but he had never killed a Midgardian before. Even during the Chitauri invasion, he didn’t kill! The Chitauri, however, did. But not by his order! Blowing up the SHIELD facility wasn’t his doing either. The Midgardians had decided to play with technology that couldn’t even begin to comprehend and it backfired. So technically, it wasn’t even his fault!

“I have never killed a Midgardian!” Loki said, his eyes wide in shock as he tried desperately to free himself.

“LIAR!” Peter yelled and shot his webs at Loki’s mouth, preventing him from talking. “Don’t you dare lie to me! You brought them here! The Chitauri! It’s all your fault!”

Loki shook his head desperately as he tried still tried to free himself. His breath was reaching a fast speed, nostrils flaring as he tried to inhale as much air as he could while his heart was racing. This was not the time for him to go into a full anxiety attack. Please no, not now, not when he couldn’t move. 

Peter’s hand came to wrap around Loki’s neck as he glowered at him, the eyes on the mask squinting in menace. Loki’s mind relived the moment Thanos grabbed his neck and he started shaking. “You orchestrated he attack on New York.” He hissed, “my parents ended up dead. It’s your fault. You killed them.” He let go of Loki’s neck with a shove and took a few steps back. Loki couldn’t do anything but to try to breathe -and failing miserably- and watch the boy pace before him. Despite the suit covering his face, Loki knew there was pent up anger within the boy, whoever he was. But why couldn’t he free himself from the webbing that was holding him in place? He kept struggling against it, but it didn’t budge.

“And to think all this time I thought you were a friend of the Avengers, residing at the tower with no care. Are you secretly planning on killing them? Now that Iron Man is gone, the rest are easier to get rid of?” He glared at Loki, who furiously shook his head ‘no’. “Does Thor even know you’re back? Of course, not. He’s somewhere in space. Otherwise he would have put you in a cell or something. Well, no worries, I’ll make sure they put you somewhere. Six feet under.” The last words came out darker than Peter had ever managed to say in his whole life. He never killed, no matter what kind of a villain or a criminal he was fighting. Even during the battle against Thanos, he didn’t kill any of the beasts that attacked them. He injured, incapacitated, but never killed. Right now, though, he wanted to. Right now he was threatening to do so, and at that moment, he even meant it.

“Karen, activate kill mode.” He said darkly. Loki struggled in full panic to free himself, but to no avail.

“Peter, are you sure? FRIDAY tells me he’s not dangerous.” His own AI responded cautiously. Usually she wouldn’t hesitate, but the information FRIDAY had given her were enough to plant a seed of doubt in her system.

“Yes, I’m sure. He killed my parents. He’s going to pay for it.”

Spider legs shot from the back of his suit and the eyes on the mask glowed red. Peter let the legs carry him towards Loki. He stood before the God and two of the legs climbed over the bench on both of Loki’s sides. A Third one was raised high up getting ready to strike down.

Loki looked into the boy’s masked eyes. If he were to die, then he would do it looking at him. He blinked the tears away as he counted the seconds before the spider leg would strike.

The raised leg pulled back and was about to strike down when the boy was blasted away with a repulsor. Peter scrambled to his feet with the help of the spider legs and instinctively shot his webs at the attacker, who flew out of the way just in time and came to land between him and Loki.

Peter’s breath got caught in his throat as he gasped in shock. “Rescue?”

“Just what the hell do you think you’re doing, Peter?” Pepper’s faceplate opened up and she glared at Peter. 

“Why are you defending him?” Peter felt a kick in his gut at the notion that Pepper was defending the criminal who not only caused havoc in his hometown, killed hundreds of people, but also killed his parents!

“Because he’s my friend, and he’s innocent!” Pepper said.

“How can you say that?” Peter’s voice quivered and he turned off the kill mode, his mask retracting in the process. His eyes were red and swollen, tears flowing down the already dried trails of the previously shed tears over his cheeks.

Loki’s eyebrows shot up to his hairline as he turned to stare at the spider boy.. Peter. It was the same Peter he had met about a month ago. The same Peter who told him he didn’t hold any grudges against him for New York. The very same Peter who helped him out of a massive anxiety attack. And now he wanted to.. kill him? And over a false accusation at that!

“Loki did not kill your parents, Peter.” Pepper said, her voice calm and sympathetic.

“He brought the Chitauri here! He’s responsible for it!” Peter yelled, pointing an accusing finger at Loki. He wanted to advance on Loki, but Pepper blocked his way, grabbing him by the shoulders.

“Peter, you do remember what Thor told us about that day, right? Loki was being controlled by Thanos.”

“I don’t care, Pepper.” He looked at her, more tears flowing down his face. “He killed my mom and dad! Is he controlling you like he did Hawkeye? Is that why you’re defending him?”

Loki was furiously shaking his head. He did NOT kill anyone on Midgard, damn it! Moreover, he was NOT controlling Pepper!

“Peter, I cannot talk to you while you’re so riled up. Go home and come see me tomorrow. And I promise you a detailed explanation.” Pepper cupped his face and gave him a warm smile. She knew that whatever she said will not register in his brain, so it was best to send him home. “Can you do that? Or should I call Happy to take you home?”

If it weren’t for his dedication to Tony Stark, Peter might have resisted against Pepper. Instead, he pulled away from her and wiped his eyes and nose. “No, I can go. May must be worried.” He said, sniffing, and then glaring at Loki, who had his face cast downwards and eyes closed. He was hyperventilating. “He’s having another panic attack.” Peter said, recognizing the signs. “A thin line of unibeam can cut through the webs.” He added in a low voice before his put his mask back up and shot a web to get away from there.

As soon as Peter was gone, Pepper quickly turned her attention to Loki. “Loki, hang in there..” she mumbled and first took care of the webbing obstructing his mouth, pulling it away from his face and Loki took a deep breath in large gasps.

“Pepper, I.. I swear.. I swear I didn’t kill them.” he said between breaths.

“I know you didn’t, Loki.” She told him with a smile. “Now let me get these webs off you so we can go home. You focus on your breathing, okay?”

Loki nodded, closing his eyes to concentrate on his breathing in an attempt to try and calm down. Pepper drew a thin line of unibeam from her gauntlet and cut through the webbing at Loki’s sides where it was attached to the bench. Once both sides were free, she pulled the web off him and cast it aside. Loki fell forward just in time for her to catch him and wrapped her hands around his shoulders. “I’ve got you. You’re safe.” She said, rubbing her palm against his back in circles as he kept hyperventilating. “Breathe with me, Loki. Inhale, hold it in.. one, two, three, four, five.. exhale. Well done. You’re doing great, now one more time.” She helped him sit back on the bench and guided him through the breathing exercise until he managed to calm down and breath normally.

“I’m sorry you had to experience that.” Pepper said, sitting next to him.

Loki shook his head. “I’m sorry I caused so much agony. But Pepper,” he turned to look at her, “I swear on my mother’s soul, I did not kill Peter’s parents. I’ve never killed any Midgardians in my life!”

“Loki, I believe you. You were being mind-controlled back then..”

“No, Pepper.” He interrupted her. “Even mind-controlled, I did not kill. I only caused the chaos, which directly resulted in injuries. But no one died at my hand. The Chitauri did the killing, even though my orders to them was as clear as the sun. Carry out a reign of terror, but do not kill. How would I rule a realm if there was no one to rule over? Thanos must have given them other instructions before they arrived and the Chitauri answered to him rather than to me.”

That put things into a whole new perspective for Pepper. Even though he threw Tony from the window, he knew her late husband would be summoning his suit and could fly. He needed to be away from prying eyes when the Hulk had arrived and wiped the floor with him. “You were planning on getting Hulk-smashed that day, to break the hold on your mind.” She concluded, a soft smile tugging at her lips as Loki nodded, casting his gaze to the ground.

“It was the most humiliating thing that happened to me, and the most traumatic.” He chuckled.

“I’d say surviving after Thanos would be your biggest trauma. I think you’re doing pretty well with Bruce.” She put a hand over his shoulder. “How about we go home now. Feel like flying or would you rather we walk?”

“Isn’t it heavy to walk such a distance in the suit?”

“FRIDAY can take the suit home.” She said and stood up. The suit opened up and she stepped out of it. “Let’s walk, then.” She extended her hand and he took it, getting up. She then wrapped her arm around his and turned to Rescue. “FRIDAY, take Rescue home. Tell Emily we’re walking the way back.”

As Rescue flew back home, Loki turned to look at Pepper. “Emily was at the penthouse?”

“Yeah, she decided to skip work and was going to go home when Happy called and told me about Peter.”

“Oh..”

“She told me about your theories, which you didn’t mention when telling me about your visit with Strange, by the way,” she nudged his arm playfully as they walked. She wasn’t offended by the fact that he had kept that little detail from her. On the contrary, she thought it was good of him to give Emily the right to share the news if she wanted to, since it concerned her. “And about the blood test.”

“I’m sorry. For not telling you and for causing her so much pain.” He sighed.

“She’s simply in shock. I almost bit Tony’s head off when I had Extremis inside of me and didn’t know what was going to happen to me. In a way, you had it easy.” She grinned at him.

“Doesn’t feel easy at all.” He chuckled, very pleased how easy it was to talk to Pepper and how easily she made him feel better. He had high regards for her.

“I know it’s totally different than my experience with Extremis. Aside from your magic inside of her, she now has alien genes as well.” She chuckled. “I wonder how that came to be. Your magic can’t transfer genes, can it?”

He shook his head. “Not at all. I’m guessing one of the Frost Giants had either decided to stay behind when they came to Midgard thousands of years ago and started a family, or an ancestor of hers was conceived.. in a less pleasant way.. in a manner of speaking. Though without Asgard’s extensive library to learn from, this is all speculations.”

Pepper didn’t like the second version. “Okay, it’s official. A Frost Giant fell in love and decided to stay and start a family here and I do not accept any other version.” She raised a finger to emphasize that it wasn’t up for discussion.

They took a turn as they continued walking through the park. Loki marvelled at people being out with their partners or families. He smiled at the children running around without a care in the world.

“You know,” Pepper said softly, “I’ve noticed the way you look at her.”

“Pardon me?” Loki was surprised. He didn’t expect that to come up. He had thought he was being discrete whenever he stole a look at Emily.

“Emily. The way you look at her. I’ve noticed.” She wasn’t accusing him, as her warm smile told him.

He felt his cheeks warm up as he turned his gaze to the ground while they walked and he smiled. “I don’t know what to say.” He chuckled nervously.

“Don’t say anything to me.” She patted his arm with her free one. “You need to say it to her, if your interest goes that far, that is.”

Did Pepper just gave him her blessing? Loki simply smiled. “I will need to amend the chaos created by my heritage and seiðr first.”

“I have a feeling she’ll come around.” She said as they finally arrived at the tower.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are always much appreciated <3


	29. Chapter 29

Once Pepper and Loki came out of the elevator at the penthouse, Emily ran to Loki and threw herself at him.

“Oh my God I’m glad you’re alright!” she said, hugging him tightly.

Loki froze at the sudden and totally unexpected hug, and he slowly brought his arms to wrap around her. Pepper walked further inside and gave him a thumbs up behind Emily’s back with a wide grin before she went to check on Morgan in her room.

“I’m fine, Pepper was there in time.” He said, finally relaxing his shoulders.

“I was so scared.” She whispered and then slowly let go of him and took a step back, realizing how abrupt her behaviour was. “Uhm.. sorry, didn’t mean to.. yeah..” she reluctantly stepped further away, making her way to the kitchen. “Drinks?”

“Please.” He smiled as he watched her go into the kitchen and he made his way to the couch in the living room. 

She came back with two glasses of apple juice and handed one to Loki. He took it, mumbling a soft thanks before taking a sip.

They sat in silence for a while, sipping on their drinks, one eyeing the other when they thought they weren’t looking. Emily felt guilty about the way she left the lab and Loki felt guilty about how he brought the subject up to her.

It was Emily that decided to break the silence. “Listen, Loki, I’m really sorry about how I reacted earlier. Please don’t take it personally. I was just in shock. Still am, to be honest.” She looked at him, her lips curling into an apologetic smile.

“I also apologize for the way I told you about it. I’m not the most subtle, and I tend to forget that. I should have been more careful.” He replied, mirroring her smile.

“I think a direct approach is best with this type of information.” She shrugged, her smile widening. “Better than beating around the bushes, you know?”

“True.” He nodded. He was happy he hadn’t ruined their friendship. Extremely happy, even, as he felt his heart flutter at the sight of her smile. The way the corner of her lips pulled to the side, showing the small dimples on either side of her cheeks. Her eyes glistening with that innocent joy that she possessed. He found it fascinating how a woman with such darkness in her past could share so much positive emotions for those around her.

“So, would you want to talk about what happened at the park?”

He set his glass on the coffee table and sat back, crossing his legs. “Well,” he sighed, “Peter Parker somehow had the idea that I killed his parents, and wanted revenge.” He nervously fiddled with his thumbs. “I’ve killed many in the past, but never Midgardians. Even in my deranged state during the Chitauri attack.” He looked at her, sincerity in his gaze. “I have killed many in the past. In self defence, in concur or hunting, but never a Midgardian, Emily.”

“I believe you.” She said without hesitation. And she did believe him. She didn’t know why exactly, but she did. Maybe it was the couple of months they had been spending together. Maybe because she took care of him while he was in a coma. Maybe because he used to be her patient and now he was her friend. Maybe because she was developing feelings for him. She didn’t know. But she believed him.

“So what happened next?” she asked.

“He trapped me in spider webs and I couldn’t move. He was about to strike when Pepper stopped him.” He grinned, “the suit looks great on her, by the way. Is it called Rescue?” Emily nodded. “A befitting name. She asked him to come here tomorrow so they could talk.”

“I find it weird that Peter reacted that way. He’s the sweetest teenager I know. I mean, you have met him before and you said he was friendly to you, right?”

“Indeed. I was shocked, specially since he told me the last time he held no grudges. Even more shocked when I found out he was the spider boy from the television.”

“Spiderman, actually.” Emily corrected him with a smile.

“Did you know that?”

“Aside from the Avengers; Happy, his aunt, his two best friends and I are the only people who know. It wasn’t my secret to tell, sorry about that.” She shrugged.

“No apology needed. I understand.” He was about to say something else when he heard tiny, quick thumping sounds approaching, and Morgan appeared from the hallway.

“Loki!” she came running to him and threw herself at him.

“My Iron Maiden!” he uncrossed his legs as she climbed over him and gave him a hug. “How are you doing on this fine day?” he helped her sit on his lap.

“I did homework. Now it’s weekend! Mommy and I will go to our other house tomorrow!” she clapped her hands excitedly.

“How lovely! What will you do there?”

“I don’t know. I’m not there yet. I’m still here.” She shrugged, then got off his lap and ran back to her bedroom.

“Amazing creature, that one.” He mused after her.

“That she is.” Emily watched the way he looked at Morgan. How could this person, who had so much love and care for her niece could ever be accused of killing anyone? While it was a fact that he had led a massive invasion to her planet, she still couldn’t fathom that this was the same person, being mind controlled or not.

She checked her watch and sighed. She needed to get home already. Hugo would be happy to get a walk earlier than his usual time. “I should get going. I wanted to go home earlier.” She said, getting up.

Loki stood up as well. “If you have questions about.. you know.. let me know.” He said, tucking his hands into his pockets.

“I imagine I’ll have a ton of questions once I wrap my head around it.” She chuckled. “But it does give me some peace of mind knowing that you will have answers to most, if not all of them.” She smiled at him.

“I’m happy to hear that. And again, I’m so sorry to have put you through this.”

“Don’t worry about it. It’s not your fault your magic likes me.” She grinned and mentally slapped herself at what she had said. Seriously? Not your fault your magic likes me? Ugh!

Loki chuckled nervously and shrugged. Oh of she only knew it wasn’t just his magic liking her. He wanted to tell her that, but he didn’t know how, or when. He needed to think it through so he wouldn’t mess it up by adding salt to injury.

“I guess I should get going as well.” He looked at his watch. “Oh dear, I only have an hour until my appointment with your mind healer.” 

“Hey that’s good, right?” She was pleased that he finally got his appointment.

“We’ll see. To be honest with you, I do not know if he would be able to help. But it does not hurt to try.”

“Exactly, doesn’t hurt to try. It did help me a bit while dealing with.. you know..” she shrugged and he nodded, knowing what she meant. It was getting close to the anniversary of the day she lost her first and only child that never made it into the world. She would take a day off, go visit the tiny grave, cry her heart out and then come back like nothing happened. No one knew. No one needed to know. Only Pepper did, as they rarely kept things from each other.

Loki walked over to her and offered his arms. She smiled at him and walked into his embrace. “My offer still stands, you know.” He said softly.

“I know, and thank you.” She patted his back as she wrapped her arms around him for a moment, and then let go of him. “Now go get ready for your appointment. I’m working at the hospital tomorrow, so we probably won’t see each other. How about lunch the day after?”

“Sounds lovely.” He nodded, smiling. They haven’t had lunch together in a while and he was already looking forward to it.

-*-*-*-*-*-

Loki walked into the psychologist’s office later that day. He had changed clothes to a more formal one, since he wasn’t sure if his morning attire would be appropriate. He had navy dress pants on and a white button up shirt, the sleeves rolled up to the elbow, with brown shoes and a matching belt and watch. Formal, yet casual. He had come to discover that he liked that style. He had his hair tied in a loose pony tail. He needed a trim as his hair was reaching a bit below the shoulder, and he liked it just over the shoulders. Any longer and he’d be resembling an elf, minus the pointed ears.

A young man greeted him and offered him a seat. Loki wondered if this was the mind healer that was assigned to him. The doctors at the medical facility seemed older than this one, though he didn’t mind. Sometimes the younger ones, no matter the profession, were better suited for their line of work. Despite the doubts in his heart regarding this treatment, he somehow felt at ease about being there.

“Mister Odinson,” the younger man shook his hand in greeting, “A pleasure to finally meet you. I’m doctor Matthew Cooper, you may call me Matt.” He said.

“Likewise,” Loki replied with a curt smile as he shook the doctor’s hand, “You may call me Loki.” If the doctor was dropping the formalities, he might as well do the same.

After sitting down, Matt grabbed a pen and a notepad, crossed his legs and looked at Loki, as if studying him. Loki had sat down on the offered armchair, crossing his legs and placing his arms over the armrest, as if he owned the place. It wasn’t a move of arrogance, Matt had noted. It seemed more of a habit, given his title of a prince. Also a sign of openness, but with some reservations.

Matt started with an introductory, explaining why Loki was there and how this will be going. He made it clear that Loki was in no way obligated to tell him anything, but it would be appreciated that whatever he decided to tell him would be the truth. He also mentioned that whatever they discussed during their sessions will never leave that room, nor will it be shared with a third party unless it’s with a fellow therapist for a second opinion, or if any of the information would pose a threat to Loki’s life and someone needed to be notified. Loki agreed to most, with the exception that the person to be notified be either Thor, Emily or Pepper. He trusted them, they knew his backstory, Thor was his brother, and it was only reasonable for him to not want anyone else to be informed of anything regarding him, no matter the gravity of the situation. Matt made a note of that with the promise that he would include it in his file.

As a first appointment, the conversation was kept light. They mainly talked about Loki’s symptoms and when they would manifest, whether he could feel it coming, if he could recognize the triggers, how it felt and how that feeling made him feel. While Loki was never one to talk about his feelings, he didn’t mind doing that for the sake of the treatment. He was sick and tired of getting those retched anxiety attacks at the worst moments and he wanted them gone, so he was determined to do exactly what was asked of him.

He found talking to Matt to be very easy. As if the man had magically coerced him into talking, even though he knew for a fact that was not the case. Maybe he was one of the rare Midgardians adept at being a Silvertongue, which would be useful in this line of work. The conversation didn’t reach private matters, so maybe that was the reason Loki was open to share today. He’ll have to see how it would go with their next appointment, which was set a week from today. They had agreed to meet weekly, at least for the first couple of months. In time they will see how things would go and how Loki was progressing, whether he needed more sessions, one every now and then or none at all. Loki was hoping for the latter. He couldn’t imagine himself being in therapy all his life, though in retrospect, he could see how that would only make sense. He had, after all, been through some serious shit, as Bruce had put it once.

After he was done with the appointment, he decided to go to the nearby cafe to clear his head, before he would have to meet Thor at their current home. 

He walked in and was instantly met by the pleasant aroma of coffee beans. He stood in line with hands in his pockets as he waited for his turn, looking around the cosy looking establishment. The walls were adorned with different types of vinyl covers. He had read about those at some point in the library. A form of music producing discs where you needed a special device to play. They were outdated, but some people still loved to use them and some also simply collected them for sentimental reasons. It seemed that sentiment was one of the prominent traits of Midgardians, a trait that he highly disliked, though he had noticed lately that he was acquiring it himself. Most probably due to living life as mortals did. His gaze followed the walls, the ceiling, the bright yet somehow cosy lights. It was finally his turn and he ordered a cappuccino to go. While tempted to sit and have his drink there, he couldn’t help but feel the mysterious eyes at the back of his neck again. Whoever it was watching him, he didn’t want to alert them that he had felt being spied on, which is why he stayed in line instead of just leaving. Play along, a voice in his head told him, maybe you’ll finally find out who it is.

After paying for his drink, he thanked the barista and was on his way back to the tower. With steady and confident steps, he walked into the foyer and made his way to the elevator. Glad that he didn’t have to wait long for it, he pressed the button to the Avengers level and watched the doors close.

“FRIDAY,” he called for the AI, “I had a feeling I was being watched again. Is there a way to find out whether I was also being followed from the cafe at the end of the street?”

“I will check surveillance.” The AI replied.

“Thank you.”

He walked out into the little hallway leading to the living room and sat down on the couch, legs spread apart and a foot tapping the floor as he sipped on his coffee and waited for FRIDAY to give him an answer.

“Mister Odinson,” FRIDAY finally spoke, “I could not find any suspicious behaviour from your leaving the cafe until you entered the elevator. I could run facial recognition on the surveillance data of yesterday and today, compare and see if there’s anyone who had been at all the places you have been to.”

“Please do that, and inform me if you find anything.”

“Of course, sir.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, sir.”

Loki crossed his legs as he took another sip of his coffee and grabbed the remote. A bit of distraction in the form of Midgardian entertainment wouldn’t hurt right now.


	30. Chapter 30

Peter dragged his feet out of the elevator of the penthouse the next morning. Aunt May had decided to accompany him. Pepper came to greet them and invited them to the living room, offering refreshments. Morgan was downstairs with Loki, which was good. She wouldn’t have wanted her daughter interrupting their conversation.

She listened to their side of the story, how May had kept the truth from Peter and how he had accidentally overheard her speak about it to her friend over the phone. And how Peter was enraged and wanted revenge for his parents.

All the time May was speaking, Peter was slumped on the couch, arms crossed over his chest and his gaze was set to one corner of the room. He still couldn’t believe Pepper would defend Loki. Sure, he knew for a while now that Loki was staying at the tower. He didn’t mind it at first, until he had found out Loki was the reason behind his parents’ death.

“Peter?” Pepper spoke to him. He looked at her and sat up straight. Pissed off or not, he respected her and it would be inappropriate to be spoken to while slumped down like that. “I’m sorry you had to find out this way about your parents’ passing.”

“Not your fault.” He shrugged, giving his aunt a look and she gave him an apologetic smile.

“And it’s not Loki’s fault either.” Pepper said, leaning forward and resting her hands on her knees. “Do you know what Bruce told us when he first came back, just before Thanos’ children attacked?”

Peter shook his head. 

“The Chitauri invasion was all Thanos. Loki was being controlled by the Mind Stone, which at the time was in his scepter. But even with the strong hold the Mind Stone had on him, he was fighting it. That’s why that invasion had failed. He never put serious effort to it.”

“I’m sorry Pepper, but if he was fighting it, as you say, then he had some control over his mind. He wasn’t totally compromised.” Peter huffed in response.

“Okay, I can definitely argue that, and I will in a bit. He has served his sentence for the invasion as well, you know.”

“Doesn’t count.”

“Peter, when did you become so vindictive? I don’t recognize you at all.” May said, looking worriedly at her nephew.

“Peter, you fought Bucky once, right?” Pepper asked the teenager.

“Yeah.” Peter really didn’t like where she was going with this.

“Do you know the reason why you were fighting Bucky and Cap?”

“Mr. Stark said it was about the accords. They refused to sign or something. I don’t remember anymore.”

Pepper shook her head, melancholy covering her face as she thought of Tony. “It was at first, but then when they got to Siberia, Tony found out Bucky had killed his parents. Tony saw the surveillance video of how he did it.”

Both May and Peter gasped. 

Pepper continued, “Bucky was being mind controlled then, by Hydra, as you know. But he did remember the names of everyone he killed. He was fighting the control on the inside, though it didn’t really work. Only after a while Tony managed to forgive him, after he realized it wasn’t really Bucky’s fault, because his mind wasn’t his own.”

“I’m not Mr. Stark.” Peter said, feeling defeated.

“No you’re not. You’re Peter.” Guilt-tripping didn’t use to be Pepper’s style, but after becoming a mother, that obviously changed. “The Peter that my husband admired so much that he took him under his wings. The Peter that my husband looked up to, hoped that our daughter would grow up to be just as brilliant.” Technically, it wasn’t even guilt-tripping when they were facts being spoken. It was just a reminder.

Peter looked down onto his lap. He shouldn’t be feeling guilty, but he was. And he didn’t like it.

“Listen, Peter, I’m not telling you what to do. I think you’re mature enough to decide what to do with what I just told you by yourself. I only ask you to not kill my friend and my daughter’s tutor.” She smiled when Peter snapped his head in her direction.

“You trust him with Morgan?” Peter was plain shocked at this point.

“And Morgan loves him.”

“Pepper, are you sure it’s safe for her?” May asked, concerned about Pepper’s choice in a tutor.

“I trust him, May.” She turned to look at her. “You should see them together. It’s amazing to how caring and patient he is with her.”

“I don’t know, Pep. Just be careful.”

“Trust me. She’s safer with Loki than with anyone else. Even Thor thinks so.” 

Pepper wasn’t going to try and convince Peter or May about anything. She simply lay down facts and parallels. Now it was up to them to decide what to do with it. As long as Peter didn’t try to hurt or kill Loki, all was good.

“Wait, Thor’s here?” Peter perked up all of a sudden.

“Yeah, for a while now. We contacted him as soon as we found out the alien Carol had saved was Loki. He had just awakened from the coma at the time.”

“Wait.. what?” Peter was visibly confused.

Pepper went on telling them how Loki had ended up there, how Fury decided that he’s not going to bother since he wasn’t SHIELD anymore, as long as there was no trouble from Loki’s side. So far Loki has proven time and time again that he has no ill intentions against any of the humans he’s been around. She told them about Loki’s mental health after having woken up from the coma, how he had gone through an extensive physical therapy and had started psychological therapy as well. How he would arrange play dates with Morgan, how he took Hugo for walks. The Loki that lived at the tower was nothing like the Loki who lead the Chitauri invasion. 

Since she knew how sensitive Loki was about revealing that he didn’t have his magic anymore, she didn’t find it necessary to share with Peter and May. If Loki chose to do so, then he would tell Peter about it himself. That is, if Peter decided to mend things between the two of them.

“Wow.. that’s.. a hell of a thing to go through.” May said with a sigh. “Alien prince or not, that’s.. wow..”

“Yeah. It had been a challenging couple of months for him. For all of us, actually.” Pepper said and a fond smile appeared on her face. “But he’s gotten better, is getting better.”

“I still don’t get it.” Peter interjected. “Didn’t he throw Mr. Stark from this window?” he pointed at the window in question.

“He did, and immediately after he got Hulk-smashed.” Pepper leaned back. “After Thor had explained to us that Loki was being mind controlled, Tony decided to forgive and forget. Which is what I did as well. Although, I do imagine if Tony was still with us, he would have guilt-tripped the hell out of Loki this whole time.” She chuckled.

Peter smiled fondly at the memory of his mentor. That would have been something he would do. But then he dropped the smile and shook his head. “I’m sorry, Pepper. I can’t just forgive and forget.” He stood up. “May, I’m going home.” He addressed his aunt and then turned to Pepper. “Thank you for your time, Pepper.” He said and started heading towards the elevator.

May stood up as well, and so did Pepper. “He’ll come around, I’m sure. You know he’s usually not like this.” May said with a concerned look on her face.

“It’s okay, May. He’s in shock. And even if he doesn’t want to accept the facts, it’s okay. He has the right to do so. But like I said, as long as he doesn’t try to hurt or kill Loki.”

“I wouldn’t want him to do that either. I mean, going against a God? That’s spooky shit right there!”

Pepper giggled at that. “It is, indeed. Will I see you again? We should do coffee sometime.”

“Definitely! That would be great.” May smiled as she gave Pepper a hug before leaving with Peter.

Pepper watched the elevator doors close and then just dropped on the couch, letting out a deep sigh she didn’t know she was holding. The whole conversation went better than she had expected, even though she had no idea how Peter would proceed with the information he now had.

And now she could finally focus on packing for the trip to the lakeside house. She hadn’t been there for a while and needed some time off the corporate life with her daughter. A weekend was more than enough for the time being. She can plan on a longer stay at another point, maybe during Christmas vacation.

She didn’t need to pack much. Only some essentials and a couple of pieces of clothes, enough for a weekend. She still had a full closet at the house, though she wasn’t planning on doing anything other than lounging and reading, or playing with Morgan, maybe watching old home videos they had made with Tony. Yeah, that would be nice. She didn’t need a whole closet for that.

Once her and Morgan’s weekend suitcases were packed and ready, she brought them to the hallway and went to make some snacks for the way. You never leave home with a child without arming yourself with enough drinks and snacks fit for a small army. Especially when said child was Morgan, who would get bored and fidgety within the first fifteen minutes of the trip. And they had one and half an hour to kill on the road. She could take a jet, which would make the trip faster, but she wanted to drive. She enjoyed driving the way to the lakeside. The nature there was so beautiful that it would be a pity to just fly in.

While in the kitchen, making sandwiches, she heard little footsteps running from one side to the other. Morgan was back. She smiled as she put a sandwich in a tupperware box and moved on to the next one. The footsteps continued and got closer, until they were in the kitchen. Morgan threw herself at her mother’s legs from the back and hugged her.

“Mommyyyy, I’m back!” 

“Hi sweety,” Pepper turned around as Morgan let go of her. She knelt before her daughter and hugged her. “Oh I missed you.”

“I was only downstairs, you shouldn’t miss me.” The child said as a matter of fact.

“Doesn’t matter, I still did.” Pepper kissed Morgan’s cheek. “Would you like a cucumber sandwich?” Morgan nodded and Pepper got up and handed her one. “Go sit at the dining table so you wouldn’t drop it on the floor.”

Morgan did as she was told and ran towards the dining table. That is when Loki showed up at the kitchen door. “May I be of help?” he offered with a smile.

“Oh hey, Loki. Thanks, I’m almost done.” She continued making the sandwiches and packing them. Once finished, she put the boxes along with some fruit and snacks into a large shopper. “There. Ready to be put into the car. Oh yeah, drinks..” she went to the fridge and grabbed a pack of juice boxes for Morgan and a big bottle of water for herself and put those into the shopper as well. “There. Done.” She grinned at Loki. “How about coffee together before we leave?”

“I won’t say no to that.” Loki smiled and walked into the kitchen, taking a seat at the kitchen island.

Pepper prepared them a cup of cappuccino each and handed Loki his before she sat down as well, with hers tucked between her hands.

“How was it?” he asked, taking a sip.

“Better than expected, but he’s still angry.”

“Understandable.”

“I’m sure he’ll come around.”

“I hope so. I did enjoy his company that one time we met at the park. It would be a pity if he stays angry at me.”

“His aunt thinks it’s only because he’s still in shock. Once he’s over that, he’ll come around.” Pepper smiled.

Loki simply nodded. He didn’t know if it would be that easy. His own experience upon finding out he’d been lied to his whole life was not a pleasant one, especially since it landed him at Thanos’ feet. He could still remember the resentment he had felt back then. The agony of not belonging to what he had known to be his family. It still haunted him to this day, but he had made amends since then. He might have been a Laufeyson by blood, but he was an Odinson by upbringing through and through.

In Peter’s case, his parents’ lives were involved. The end of it, that is. Loki knew exactly how it felt to lose a parent. He didn’t care much about Odin’s passing, for it was peaceful. Frigga’s death, on the other hand.. it was another source of his nightmares. He knew how Peter felt. The anger, the pain, the need for revenge. Loki partially had his revenge, but was left with enormous guilt. The guilt of tipping Kurse on which way to go.


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Been itching to get to this chapter ever since I started this story. In addition, I had no clue whatsoever it would reach 30+ chapters, with even more in planning!

Pepper had left with Morgan an hour after having coffee with Loki. Morgan was excited to go on a road trip and even more excited to be going to their other home, where she would be visiting her papa at the lake.

Loki had gone back to his room, planning on checking out some letters he had received regarding his New Asgardian identification papers. He needed to schedule an appointment at the embassy to go and give his biometrics. He quickly scribbled a reminder on a notepad, then scratched it and turned to one of FRIDAY’s sensors. “FRIDAY, could you please remind me on Monday to call the Asgardian embassy for an appointment?”

“Sure, Mr. Odinson. Reminder scheduled for Monday at 8AM.”

“Thank you, FRIDAY.”

“You’re welcome, Sir.”

He then went through the job contract he had received from Stark Industries. After deciding that everything in it was acceptable, he finally signed it and lay it aside to deliver it to the reception on Monday morning, after he had called the embassy.

After he was done with paperwork, he realized he was out of things to do in his room. So he decided to get some exercising done. He first changed into appropriate attire, then decided to go check on Thor, maybe his brother would like to spar with him for a bit.

The blond God was nowhere to be found. Loki figured he was either with Bruce, or elsewhere. So he was going to exercise alone, then. He first went back to his room and grabbed a towel, then headed to the kitchen and took a bottle of water and walked over to the elevator.

As he arrived at the gym, which was a few floors down the tower, he first looked around to see where he would be starting. The place looked similar to the physical therapy area he had been at a while ago. He smiled at the memory, how difficult it was for him to start the therapy, but then as he went on, it became easier. It was time he got back into the habit of training his muscles a bit, before he ended up a grumpy God of Mischief with a rounded stomach similar to that of his brother. While the stomach didn’t look bad on Thor, it would look extremely unflattering on himself. Loki wouldn’t allow that.

Though Thor was doing much better than the first time Loki had seen him. He was exercising regularly, with Loki only joining him every now and then for the fun of it. Maybe he should join his brother more often, get back into the habit of sparring. The thought didn’t sound so bad.

He looked at the equipment around him, not really recognizing much of them aside from the treadmills that he had used during his therapy sessions and a few weight lifting devices Thor liked to use. So he decided to start with the treadmill for a while. Later he would exercise the way he used to on Asgard, without any devices.

After spending a couple of hours at the gym, Loki was soaking in sweat. He grabbed his towel and dried his face and neck, then took a sip of his water as he started walking back to the elevators with the intention to take a shower and prepare some dinner.

As he waited for the elevator to arrive, he had that same feeling again, that someone was watching him. He casually turned to one side, humming a random tune as he did so, in an attempt to not alert the person watching him. Then he turned to the other side in the same manner. He didn’t see anyone or anything. It was weird. He started wondering whether he was being paranoid, but so far he had no reason to be. After Thanos had been defeated, there were no more threats against himself or this realm. So he was wondering what or who this was.

Once the elevator doors opened, a man walked out in sports attire, giving Loki a curt nod and went into the gym. Loki stepped into the elevator and pressed the button to his floor and waited for the doors to close. As the elevator started ascending, he turned to FRIDAY’s sensor. “FRIDAY, I was being watched again.”

“On it, Sir.” FRIDAY has been checking surveillance for the past days and comparing images in order to find a clue. So far her searches had yielded no results, which was frustrating for the AI, according to the vocal tone she had used when she lay the outcome to him the previous evening.

He needed to think of a way to lure whoever it was into a trap. He would consult his brother and they would lay a plan together, like they used to do when they were preparing for battle. He smiled fondly at those memories. They were so innocent and careless back then. All that mattered was go into battle and come back victorious and be praised by their parents and their people. He would sacrifice a limb to get those careless days back.

Though on a second thought, no, he wouldn’t want that. Yes, those days were precious, but they were now fond memories and they were to remain that way. He was now making new memories, living a new life, meeting new people, making new friends. His own friends. Ones who valued his friendship because of himself and not because he was Thor’s brother or a prince. In addition, back in those days he wouldn’t have known Emily. He wouldn’t have shared breakfast or lunch with her. He wouldn’t have joined her for dinner with Pepper and Morgan. He wouldn’t have known her smile that was one of happiness growing, much as a spring flower blooming. He wouldn’t have known her eyes that had a thousand hues of blue and a small touch of hazel radiating in softly swooping arcs.

Loki stopped in front of the closed door to his bedroom and leaned his forehead against it, closing his eyes as his hand clutched at his shirt against his chest. It was at that moment that he realized he had fallen for her. He opened his eyes and stepped away from the door as a smile tugged at his lips. That realization, that feeling, it didn’t make him anxious. It didn’t scare him. Yes, it elevated his heart rate, but in a different way than when experiencing anxiety. This feeling felt so natural like it belonged, like it had been there all his life. It felt familiar yet at the same time unknown.

He chuckled at himself as he opened the fist that was holding his shirt and straightened the fabric underneath. He walked into his room feeling rejuvenated. He wasn’t scared of that new feeling anymore. 

-*-*-*-*-*-

Around ten in the evening Loki decided to make himself a cup of hot chocolate to have while reading a book about Midgardian sea life before falling asleep. He had borrowed the book from the library at the tower, which was currently waiting for him on the loveseat in his bedroom. He went to the kitchen, ready to prepare his drink for the evening and noticed that he had ran out of cocoa powder. He tried to think of an alternative, but he wasn’t craving anything else. He could go to the nearby supermarket and grab some, or have FRIDAY place an order. Thor wasn’t back yet either, otherwise he could send him. But all that would take a while, and he wanted his hot chocolate now. An idea suddenly hit him. What if Pepper had some? He looked at one of FRIDAY’s sensors. It had become a habit. It made the AI seem real instead of making him feel like he was talking to himself. “FRIDAY, does Pepper have any cocoa powder?”

“She does have an opened package in the kitchen, yes.”

“Do you think she’d mind if I borrowed it?”

The AI paused a moment before replying. “I do not believe Mrs. Stark would mind, no.”

“Thank you, FRIDAY.”

“Glad to be of assistance, Mr. Odinson.”

While Pepper was spending the weekend at the lakeside house with Morgan, Loki felt a bit uneasy going into her home while she was absent. He figured by letting FRIDAY know he was going upstairs for a moment, she would inform Pepper about it and why he was there. So in a sense, Pepper would be aware that he had gone to the penthouse and borrowed some cocoa powder. He wasn’t sneaking in, nor was he stealing. Before he went up, he wrote down two packs of cocoa powder on his shopping list, so he could give her one in replacement of the one he was about to borrow.

He took the stairs up, like he always did when going to the penthouse from his floor. He was humming a tune he had heard on the radio earlier that day as he walked into the penthouse and made his way to the kitchen. A few steps in and he stopped. A couple of lamps in the living room were on, while Pepper wasn’t there. His instincts went instantly on high alert as he slowly made his way there, making sure he moved as stealthily as possible. Was it the person who’s been watching him? If there were any intruders they would not see him coming and he would incapacitate them before they could cause any damage to Pepper’s property. He wondered if FRIDAY had been compromised as she hadn’t alerted him about any worrisome occurrences. In order not to drive any attention to himself, he kept silent, slowed down his breathing and made his way in.

He stood dumbfounded when he saw no one. Maybe Pepper had forgotten to turn off the lamps before leaving? But she had left during the day, and all lights were controlled by FRIDAY. He looked around before his eyes fell on an arm poking out from the edge of the sofa. His shoulders relaxed as he recognized it and a soft smile formed on his lips. Emily. She must have come there after work and had fallen asleep.

He made his way towards her and all blood drained from his face when he saw a large, almost wet dark spot on her work uniform, right over her chest and abdomen. Gasping, he dropped on his knees before her, reaching with trembling hands over her, touching the wet parts of the spot and bringing his fingers to his nose to sniff. Blood. His breath caught in his throat as his eyes became watery. He felt he was going to be sick as he started frantically looking for her injuries. “No, no, no, please no.” He pleaded as tears started flowing down his cheeks. “Please no. Emily, please..” He started unbuttoning her uniform to take it off of her for a better view of her injuries when a pair of hands suddenly slapped at his and frantically pushed him away.

“What the hell, Loki?! Stop!”

Loki stopped what he was doing and quickly pulled his hands away from her. He looked up from Emily’s abdomen and was met with a pair of shocked blue eyes staring at him, while her hands were pulling her uniform closed around her.

“What on Earth do you think you’re doing?!” she scowled at him.

“Emily, you’re.. not hurt?” He was breathing heavily and his tears didn’t seem to want to stop.

“No, I just got back from working at the hospital. We had a pretty bloody emergency and I was too pissed off and tired to drive all the way home or even change before going out. I guess I just fell asleep before I could even change clothes.” She rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand.

“Oh Norns..” he sighed in relief and suddenly pulled her into a tight hug. “I thought..” he started sobbing. “I thought you were hurt.. I thought I’d lost you.”

Her heart sank. Did he worry that much about her that a splotch of blood gave him that idea? It felt endearing in a way. So much that it made her smile and she wrapped her arms tightly around him. “It’s alright, Loki. I’m fine. I promise. It’s someone else’s blood.” She pulled back a bit from the hug to look at him. “I’m sorry I made you worry.” She gave him a warm smile, completely disregarding the fact that her clothes were filthy with blood, and it smeared all over his shirt.

He didn’t care about his shirt. He just stared into her eyes. He could easily lose himself in her gaze. He would stare for hours long into those eyes and would never grow tired of them. She brought her hands to his cheeks and started wiping his tears away. She then cupped his face and gently pulled him closer as she looked into his eyes. “I’m really sorry, Loki. Forgive me?” she whispered.

He felt his heart skip a beat as he felt her breath over his skin. He could feel butterflies fluttering in his stomach as he cupped her cheek with one hand, while the other remained on her waist. She could feel the heat radiating from his body, while his hand remained cool over her cheek. It sent chills down her spine as she felt her breaths elevating. He leaned closer, and when she didn’t pull away he closed the distance between them, pressing his lips against hers. Her eyes fluttered shut as their lips touched. A pleasant warmth washed over her and her heart threatened to burst out of her chest. Her lips felt soft and tender against his, just as he had imagined it. He felt his world turning upside down as they gently pulled apart, eyes still closed and both breathing heavily against each other as their foreheads touched.

Loki brushed his thumb against her cheek and she leaned against his touch. Emily’s hands came to rest at his sides as she opened her eyes. Loki pulled away hesitantly and opened his eyes as well, looking back at her.

“I feel like I should apologize, but it doesn’t feel right.” He whispered, giving her a guilty look.

“Don’t you dare apologize for this.” She smiled at him with slightly flushed cheeks, bringing a hand up to brush a strand of hair off his face. “Never for this.”

He smiled lovingly at her, chuckling a bit at what she said. “Then I apologize for waking you up like that.” While the smile still there, his gaze turned apologetic. “I saw the blood and..”

“It’s not your fault.” She replied sincerely, “I should have changed before leaving. But I was feeling too angry and exhausted.”

Oh how she wanted to kiss him again, to feel his soft lips against hers once more. To experience the warmth that washed over her again and again. Alas, her mind kept going to her clothes. It was distracting. She finally let go of him and looked down at herself. “While I hate to move away just now, I think I need to change and take a shower.” She raised her eyes to look at him.

“I actually came up here to get some cocoa powder. I was about to make me some hot chocolate. Would you like some as well?”

She nodded and they both stood up. “I won’t be long.” She said, running her hand over his bicep and reluctantly retreating towards her bedroom. Loki watched her leave and stood there for a second. His hand involuntarily went to his lips. She felt soft against him, like rose petals in the middle of Spring. He smiled as he went to the kitchen and started looking for what he needed to make the hot chocolate with.

As he grabbed the cocoa powder, which he found easily. He wondered yet again if Pepper would mind if he made the beverage here. He turned to one of the sensors. “FRIDAY, do you think Pepper would mind if we had the hot chocolate here instead of downstairs.”

“Not at all, Mr. Odinson.” The AI replied softly. Loki wondered if she adjusted her voice to match his feeling at the moment. He couldn’t put a name on it just yet, but he felt somehow.. serene.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *innocent look*
> 
> Thoughts?


	32. Chapter 32

Emily was completely unprepared for the kiss. It was not what she had imagined to happen when she held his face and apologized. She had merely acted on instinct and wanted to get him to understand that she really was sorry for scaring him like that. She just wanted to get the point through. Never in her life could she have ever imagined that he would kiss her, nor how his lips would feel against hers. And worse, she would have never thought her first time kissing him would have been after a disastrous day at work, with her covered up in someone else’s blood.

While the thought of the state of her clothing was off putting, she couldn’t help but feel like she was walking on air while she headed to her room. The way his lips connected to hers felt like magic, one that she wouldn’t want to ever give up. With fingers over her lips, she opened the door to her room and headed straight for the shower.

Loki stood in the kitchen, staring absentmindedly at the pack of cocoa powder while his mind went back to the kiss. It had obliterated every thought from his mind. He hadn’t meant for it to happen, he hadn’t planned for it either. But it did, and.. he liked it, and he wanted to do it again and again and again, until there was no sane cell in his brain left. 

He didn’t know how long had he been staring at the pack of cocoa powder, until he heard footsteps behind him. He turned around and saw Emily come into the kitchen, already showered and changed into clean clothes, a simple t-shirt and shorts that went half-way up her thighs. He smiled upon seeing her, forgetting about the drinks he was supposed to make for them.

Mirroring his smile, she walked over until she came to stand next to him and peered over the counter. “Hot chocolate not done yet?” she asked, looking at him.

“Uhm..” he chuckled, nervously casting his eyes downward, “I kind of got distracted.” He looked back at her.

“What distracted you?”

He brought his hand up to her cheek, running his thumb across her jawline. “Kissing you.” He whispered as he took a careful step closer. When she didn’t back away, he cupped her cheek and slowly leaned into her, his heart beating frantically against his chest, feeling like it was about to explode.

When their lips touched again, it felt like sparks flew in every direction. The world seemed to disappear around them, along with all of their worries. The kiss was soft and warm, innocent yet intimate and electrifying. Loki’s other hand came to rest on her waist and he pulled her closer, her own hands coming to rest at the back of his neck, threading her fingers through his hair as she sighed against his lips. Loki took that as an invitation and deepened the kiss and she welcomed it, pressing her body even more against him.

They only parted when they needed to breathe. Emily leaned her forehead against Loki’s chest, while he wrapped his arms around her and rested his chin over her head.

“I could get used to this.” She admitted, smiling against his chest.

His own lips curved into a smile as he pulled back a bit and brought a hand to her chin, lifting it up so their eyes met. “Likewise.” He said softly and leaned in once more for a soft peck over her lips. 

“We should probably make that hot chocolate before it’s too late.” She spoke softly as well, like if she dared to speak louder the world would shatter around her and she would wake up from a dream.

“We probably should.” He replied, but didn’t move. The way they stood in each other’s arms felt too perfect to let go. But unfortunately, they had to, since Emily’s stomach had chosen that moment to growl at her. “You haven’t eaten yet.” He stated, raising an eyebrow.

“Didn’t get the chance to.” She shrugged.

“Alright, go take a seat, I’ll see what we have here that would go with a warm drink.” He placed a kiss on her forehead before letting go of her. Emily reluctantly stepped away from Loki’s embrace and went to take a seat at the kitchen island.

He decided on making a sandwich for her. She could eat while he made the warm drink. Grabbing two slices of bread, he toasted them and dove into the fridge, taking out some mustard, ham, gouda and some lettuce. Once the bread was ready, he spread a thin layer of mustard on both slices. Then he layered the ham and the cheese on one of the slices, added the lettuce and put the other slice of bread on top. He put the sandwich on a plate and cut it diagonally in two halves and put the plate in front of Emily.

“A light dinner, given that it’s late at night for a proper one.” He said, smiling.

“This is actually perfect. Thank you.” She smiled at him and took a bite of the sandwich. Her eyes opened wide at the taste. “And it tastes good!”

Loki grinned. “I’m glad you like it. I’ll make us the hot chocolate now.” He said and first cleaned up his working space, putting the rest of the sandwich ingredients back into the fridge and took the milk out to warm it up.

Emily was done eating by the time the hot chocolate was ready. Loki held the mugs in both hands and was about to move when Emily held a hand up. “Hang on, I’ve got an idea.” She hopped off the chair and went to the fridge, taking out a can of whipped cream. She sprayed some over both mugs and put the can back into the fridge. “Now it’s ready.” She grinned at him.

“After you, my lady.” He motioned for her to lead the way to the living room.

As she sat down on the couch, she pulled her legs up to her chest and Loki handed her one mug and sat down next to her. “Thank you.” She mumbled and held the mug between her palms. She watched him elegantly cross his legs and take a sip of his hot chocolate, licking the whipped cream off his lips and turning to look at her with an approving nod.

“I do like the addition of whipped cream.” He said, smiling.

“Whoever came up with the idea was a genius.” She grinned and took a sip of her own drink. “And you make a mean hot chocolate.” She added and took another sip, lightly licking the cream off her own lips.

“I merely followed a recipe I found on the internet.” He watched her every movement, taking it in, savouring it, like it was the last thing he would ever be seeing. If this was a dream, then he didn’t want to wake up, ever again. He wrecked his brain trying to figure out when and how had he fallen for her. How he had disregarded his own advice concerning relationships with mortals he had once given his brother. Though it didn’t matter, for they were there, she was there and he had kissed her. He had kissed her and she had kissed him back. He shouldn’t be thinking too far ahead, as much as that went against his very nature. But, no. He should simply enjoy the moment, every moment, he would get to spend with her.

“Earth to Loki,” Emily waved a hand before his face.

He blinked a couple of times, bringing his focus back from his thoughts. He must have been staring. “Pardon me.” He cast his eyes down to his mug, which he was holding over his lap in both hands.

“Where were you just now.”

“Lost in thought, I guess?”

“Thought so. You had that look on your face.” She smiled, taking another sip of the hot chocolate.

She couldn’t help but notice little things about him. How his eyes followed her every move, how the corner of his lips tugged upwards to form a delicate little smile. He probably didn’t even realize he was doing it.

“So..” she put her mug on the coffee table and leaned her shoulder against the backrest of the couch. “Wanna talk about it?”

“About what?” he put his mug on the table as well and turned to sit sideways, pulling one leg up and folding it underneath him so he could face her.

“We kissed.”

“Aye, that we did.” He nodded, smiling. Mortals liked to talk about things, he had taken notice of that during his stay at the tower.

“So.. wanna talk about it?” she repeated the question. She had no idea what there was to talk about. Her brain was trying to rationalise the fact. The first kiss probably happened because he thought she was injured and upon finding out she wasn’t, it was just a reflex and didn’t mean anything. But then he kissed her again in the kitchen. There was no other incentive involved there other than him -and her- wanting to.

“I did not plan on it.” He said, looking at her. “It just happened.” He stretched his hand forward, palm up and she placed her own onto it. He ran his thumb over her knuckles as he spoke. “When I thought you harmed, I felt the stab of a hundred daggers through my heart.” His hand trembled against hers and she brought her other hand to rest underneath his and holding his hand with both of hers.

“I’m still sorry to have scared you like that.” She smiled apologetically, “I usually shower and change at work before leaving. It’s unsanitary and quite disgusting to leave the place with a patient’s blood all over you.” She made a disgusted face at the thought. She still couldn’t believe she had ignored the simplest of sanitary measures upon leaving work. And to top it all, she came to the tower instead of going home. Hugo will be so pissed in the morning. But deep down she was glad she didn’t go home tonight.

“May I be bold?” Loki asked, looking at her with a smirk and she nodded. “While I didn’t plan on kissing you, it had crossed my mind a few times in the past.”

Emily raised her eyebrows. “Has it now?” he tilted his head to the side, shrugged and nodded, his lips pursed together though smiling. She grinned at that, quite pleased by the revelation. So she wasn’t the only one with thoughts about the other. Good. At least they are on the same page on that front. “If we’re being bold, may I be as well?”

“Always.”

“I liked it. Kissing you, I mean.” She spoke softly, running a thumb across the back of his hand. “And now I’m wondering how it would feel to kiss you as Frosty.” She felt like teenager who had just experienced their first ever kiss and it was the only thing they wanted to do for eternity. Funny thing was, she wouldn’t even mind it.

Loki chuckled at the nickname and changed into his Jotunn form. “Shall we find out?” his voice was husky, low and soft but powerful enough to send chills down her spine.

He cupped her cheek with his free hand and leaned forward, tenderly brushing his lips against hers. She closed her eyes and let his cold lips brush ever so slightly against hers. It didn’t feel much different than before, but at the same time, it did. His lips were still soft, but much colder than before. It was as satisfying as running an icicle over your mouth after being deprived any form of drinks for a month or so. But the cold didn’t burn, it felt natural. She gasped softly as he gently nibbled at her bottom lip, planting the softest of pecks along the plump pink line all the way to the corner of her mouth, and then continued the same with her upper lip. Her body felt like it was melting into a puddle of goo at the sensations it was feeling. Her hands fell limp onto her lap, letting go of his hand, which he brought to her waist.

Her lips parted ever so slightly and she gently darted the tip of her tongue forward until it met his lips, silently asking for more and he happily obliged.

-*-*-*-*-*-

Emily had a hard time falling asleep. After spending some time with Loki, kissing and talking and kissing some more, they finally had called it a night and each went to their own room. Loki, ever the gentleman, had escorted her up to the door of her bedroom, bidding her a good night and kissing her one last time, before he had finally gone downstairs to his own bed.

Emily had dropped onto her bed like a teenager, all giddy and dazed from kissing Loki. Her hand never left her mouth as she kept reminiscing how his lips felt, how gentle he was, how caring, and also how passionate he was at times. At some point she had changed into her night clothes and gotten under the blanket. She had fallen asleep smiling while thinking about him.

She had woken up very early in the morning, with enough time to get to her apartment for Hugo’s morning walk. Usually if she would spend the night at the penthouse or elsewhere, she would arrange for either Happy or Jess to go and take Hugo out for his walk, change his water and add some food to his food bowl if necessary. Last night, though? She had totally forgotten to do that. She knew there was enough food and water for her faithful companion, but he hadn’t gone for a walk since yesterday morning, and that meant trouble.

Trying not to panic, she quickly put on some spare clothes she kept in her room at the penthouse, a simple jeans and t-shirt, and put on her sneakers. She even skipped her morning coffee and just pulled her hair in a messy bun, grabbed her bag and darted towards the elevator. “Come on, come on, come on..” she whispered while waiting, jumping inside and pressing the button leading to the underground garage where she had her car parked instantly.

She cursed under her nose when the elevator stopped at the next floor and the doors opened. Her breath got caught in her throat when Loki blinked and then smiled as he stepped into the elevator, pressing the button to the gym floor.

“Good morning.” He said, not really sure whether he was supposed to hug her or kiss her, seeing how the previous night had gone.

“Good morning.” She replied, her voice came a bit tense as was her facial expression, though she did try to smile.

Loki’s smile faded as he started thinking something had happened. Maybe he did something wrong? Was the last night a mistake? But she could have said something.. she would have said something. That he was sure of. “Is everything alright? You look tense?” he decided to ask instead of making speculations.

“Hugo. Totally forgot about him last night, so he didn’t have his evening walk. I’m dreading the state of my apartment.” She chuckled nervously, sticking her hands into her pockets.

“Does he get mad if he doesn’t go for a walk? Or is it a bathroom issue?” Loki was starting to worry as well. He wouldn’t want her apartment, which he hasn’t even been to, get damaged.

“He’s a German Shepherd and they are in general an active breed of dogs. He needs his daily exercises, otherwise he’d simply have pent up energy. And in an apartment that spells disaster.”

“Oh..”

“Yeah.. I usually ask Happy or Jess to take him out if I’m not home. Buuuut I kinda forgot to do that last night?” she gave him a guilty grin, ducking her head between her shoulders as her voice went high an octave with the last word. Hugo was definitely going to be pissed at her.

“Oh..” Loki said again and then it hit him. Of course! He was the reason she forgot. “My goodness, Emily I am so sorry!” he ran his hands through his hair. “If I hadn’t come up to the penthouse last night, you wouldn’t have been distracted from taking care of him! I’m so, so sorry!”

“Heyyy,” She complained as she lightly slapped his arm. “I thought I asked you not to apologize for that.” She smiled at him. “And don’t you worry, it’s not the first time he has skipped a walk. I’ll just take him out for a run and he can get all the energy out. So it’s alright.”

“You exercise?” Loki tilted his head. She has never mentioned exercising before and he hadn’t seen her at the gym.

“Only a morning run. I’m not really the athletic type, but I do know how to defend myself if needed. Tony made sure everyone working at the tower, especially the women, took self defence classes. Kicking things is really fun.” She grinned.

The elevator came to a halt at the gym level, and Loki hesitated for a moment. “I was going for my morning exercise and now I’m wondering..” he brought a nervous hand to the back of his neck, “may I join you?”

“Sure! I’m coming back in the afternoon to work anyway, so I can bring you back, if you don’t have anything to do in between.” It was perfect really. The could spend the day together, he would get to see her place... crap, he would get to see her place! Which would be in a complete mess right now because of Hugo! “Oh man..” she covered her face with her palm and Loki was instantly all over her.

“What is wrong, Em?” he had his hand at her back and leaned over her in concern.

“My apartment will be a total mess and you haven’t been there before..” she lowered her hand and looked at him. “Okay, just promise you will ignore the mess.”

“I promise.” He grinned and pulled her into a hug as he chuckled. “You had me worried there for a moment.” He pulled back to look at her, she was smiling. He wanted to kiss her again, but before he could act on it, the elevator came to a stop and the doors opened. They had arrived at the garage. Sighing, he let go of her and they walked side-by-side towards her car and got in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think Emily should totally send Mantis an email hihi.
> 
> Comments are always appreciated <3


	33. Chapter 33

They arrived at her apartment complex in record time, thanks to the streets being mostly clear, due to the fact that it was very early in the morning. Emily parked the car at her parking space and turned off the engine.

“Can I ask you a favour?” she turned to Loki after she took her seatbelt off.

“Anything.”

“Hugo is going to be extremely hyper and might start barking. He might look aggressive, but he’s not. Or he could be moping in a corner, if he had exhausted himself all night. You never know with him.”

“Alright.” Loki didn’t see a problem so far.

“Could you already take him out while I change my clothes and then join you? He wouldn’t have the patience to wait for me to change, and I wouldn’t want him barking so early in the morning. Neighbours might complain of the noise.” She chuckled.

“I can do that, of course.” He gave her a warm smile.

“You’re a life saver.” She grinned and opened her door to get out.

“That’s literally your job description, not mine.” He grinned back and got out of the car as well.

As they reached her apartment, Emily could hear whimpering behind the door and her heart dropped. “Oh my poor boy, mommy’s here!” she quickly fetched her keys and unlocked the door. She had barely opened it when Hugo jumped at her, putting his front paws over her shoulders, standing tall against her while nuzzling and licking her face and wagging his tail excitedly. “Oh God, I’m so sorry, buddy!” Emily hugged Hugo and ruffled his fur. “So, so sorry!”

Hugo finally came down from her shoulders and went into the corridor in her apartment. He started going in circles and barking. Emily came to kneel in front of him, spreading her arms and smiling. Hugo bared his teeth at her, barked a couple of times and then started whimpering and walked into her arms, his tail enthusiastically going side to side. Emily hugged him tightly, whispering apologies and Loki watched the interaction in silence from the door.

Emily turned to Loki and motioned for him to come in. “Sorry, this big baby needs my attention at the moment.”

“That’s alright.” Loki crouched next to her and scratched behind Hugo’s ears. The dog turned to him and barked again. “Yes, I know. She totally forgot about you.” Loki grinned.

Emily faked a dramatic gasp. “His fault!” she pointed at Loki while looking at Hugo, like the dog would understand what she meant.

They laughed lightly and Emily gently pushed Hugo off of her as she got up. Hugo darted to the living room and came back holding his leash in his mouth, and sat down in front of Emily, giving her an expectant look.

“This went better than I expected, but I dread looking into the living room. I’ll do that later.” She chuckled, taking the leash from Hugo, which made him stand up and wag his tail again. She handed the leash to Loki, “He needs to be on leash at all times while on the street. Neighbourhood rules.”

Loki nodded and crouched in front of Hugo, who came to sit on his back legs in front of him, his tail swishing left and right on the floor. “Someone’s eager to go out,” Loki chuckled as Hugo barked at him. “Alright, my friend, let’s go.” He put the leash on and stood up, and so did Hugo. Before leaving, he turned to Emily, “Any specific direction?”

“Oh, umm.. take a left from the entrance and go straight. That way I know to find you. We’ll get to the nearby park together.” She smiled.

“See you soon, then.” Loki said and walked out with Hugo, who was practically pulling Loki out of the door.

As they left, Emily went to change into her jogging clothes and shoes. She congratulated herself for keeping the bedroom door closed. The living room was, as expected, a mess. She only took a few seconds to look at the state of things, sighing at the couch pillows and light blanket that were thrown off. The table lamp was broken and the room was just a huge mess. She’ll just have to do some clean up when they get back.

Loki stood patiently waiting for Hugo to do his business in the bushes at the side and was looking around at the neighbourhood. It looked quite different than what he was used to by now in Manhattan, around the Tower. The buildings were smaller, there were houses lined up next to each other at the end of the street, with each having some sort of a front yard that reached all the way to the sidewalk. While the apartment buildings looked bland, the houses were a bit different. Some looked well taken care of, with flower pots at the front door or some form of small statues. Some looked as if they were abandoned, though he did see people coming out of one of those. So those weren’t really abandoned, only not being taken care of.

As he turned around he saw Emily approaching, dressed in a tight shirt that reached the curve of her hips, and an even tighter pants.. leggings, they were called. He remembered the name from the day he went shopping with Mark and Pamela, and Mark was insisting he try on one of those, which he simply refused to do, but one had ended up in his shopping bag anyway. It was good to wear when sparring. He licked his lips as he stared at her lean legs in that tight piece of cloth. He wouldn’t mind doing nothing but watch her all day dressed in that.

Before his thoughts turned further South, Emily was standing before him, head tilted to the side and staring back at him with an innocent smile on her face. “Where were you just now?” she asked softly.

“Admiring the view.” He replied and quickly looked around, mentally slapping himself for the slip of the tongue, “it’s an interesting neighbourhood. Much different than Manhattan.” There was no way he could tell her he was admiring the view that was standing right before him. He’d probably get a kick in the nuts for that.. or maybe not, but why risk it?

“Right. Yeah, it’s different.” She didn’t buy it for a second, but let it slide nonetheless. She knew she looked good in her jogging clothes, and it was fine if Loki decided to stare.

Hang on.. where did that come from? She didn’t really like being stared at, and now suddenly it was fine?

Her feelings for him were so new and foreign, that every time she dared to think about him, she shocked herself. Good thing they were going out for a run, she could nicely distract herself with jogging until she was exhausted.

They started walking again, with Hugo either sniffing his way around or pulling at the leash to go faster. At some point they crossed the street and walked through a row of houses, until they reached the entrance to a park.

“Okay,” Emily stopped, which prompted Loki to stop as well and turn to her. “This isn’t a dog park, so Hugo needs to stay on leash the whole time. 

“It’s still a park, why should he be kept on leash?”

Emily shrugged, “A lot of people bring their kids here and not all of them are used to dogs, also some dogs aren’t used to either people or kids in general. There wouldn’t be kids this early in the morning, but it’s just a safety measure, really.”

It didn’t make sense to Loki. Hugo was a highly trained dog and behaved brilliantly around people. Though his scarred look was intimidating, he was just a big ball of fluff, at least where Loki was concerned.

“That’s why I like taking him to the park near the tower, you know, the one we went to the other day?” When Loki nodded, she continued. “He gets to play and run as much as he wants.” She grinned, couching in front of Hugo and ruffling his fur. “You like it there too, don’t you?” Hugo started licking her face and wagging his tail happily, making Emily wrinkle her nose and giggle.

Loki smiled at the sight. It made his heart flutter in joy seeing her so happy with Hugo. The way she closed her eyes and wrinkled her nose, she was so pure and innocent. Her giggle was music to his ears, playing on the strings of his heart, a melody worthy of the golden halls of Asgard. Oh how he wanted to kiss her again, right then and there. To feel her soft lips against his once more. To feel her breath tickle against his skin, her hands through his hair..

As she stood up, she looked at Loki, who was staring absentmindedly at her again, with a dreamy look in his eyes. She tilted her head with a soft smile tugging at her lips. “You’re doing it again, staring.” She said.

Loki didn’t respond. He simply took a single step and cupped her cheek with his free hand and placed the softest of kisses upon her lips.

Emily barely had the chance to register what was happening. She stood still in her spot as Loki kissed her. Her eyes closed on their own accord and she brought her hands to his waist, grabbing the sides of his shirt as she kissed him back. This was the second time he surprised her with a kiss, and right at that moment she decided she liked being surprised like that by him.

As their lips parted, they leaned their foreheads against each other, both having their eyes closed. Emily then gently nuzzled at Loki’s cheek, planting a soft kiss over his cool skin and she wrapped her arms around his waist, resting her head over his chest. “That was nice.” She whispered against his shirt.

Loki’s arms went around her shoulders, still holding the leash in one hand. He placed a gentle kiss on the top of her head. “Forgive me for being bold, but I do enjoy kissing you.” He admitted softly.

“Good,” she said, pulling her head back to look at him. “Because I enjoy kissing you, too.” She smiled.

He grinned at her and leaned down for another soft peck on the lips. By then Hugo had had it, and wanted to move. He tugged at the leash and whimpered. Loki chuckled against Emily’s lips as she groaned at Hugo’s impatience.

She hesitantly stepped away from Loki’s embrace and turned to Hugo. “You, mister, need to learn a bit of patience.” She scolded him, but with a huge smile on her face. “Now let’s get you ready for a run.” She turned to Loki, reaching her hand out with the palm up. “Can I have the leash?”

“Sure.” He handed it to her and watched as she lifted her shirt up a bit to reveal a belt she was wearing underneath. Well, that was new. At least to him. She attached the leash to it and lowered her shirt, giving the belt a couple of taps.

“Now we’re ready.” She smiled. The look on Loki’s face said he needed an explanation. “The belt makes it easier for me to jog with him, instead of holding the leash in my hand and waving it around. It would either distract him or irritate the both of us. Having it at the waist means I get two arms free and he stays on the leash through the duration we’re out.”

“Genius.” Loki mumbled with a nod.

“So, let’s get going. You got your music?”

“I’m afraid I don’t.” Loki shrugged, “I usually train at the gym and FRIDAY plays the music on the speakers.”

“Here, take one.” She took out her earbuds out of her pocket and handed one to Loki. “You might have to suffer through my taste of music, but you like Bryan Adams, so you might like those too. It’s within the same genre.”

Loki took the offered device and put it in his ear, as Emily did the same. Then she started tapping on her smartwatch, connecting the Bluetooth for the earbuds and then starting her playlist.

And with that, the started jogging side-by-side. Hugo happily ran at Emily’s side, never going faster than her. He was used to their morning jogs and they each knew the other’s speed limit. While on leash Hugo knew he wasn’t allowed to run ahead of her. Without leash, however, it was no problem to run at full speed, chasing other dogs while playing with them.

Loki enjoyed running with her. While her pace was a bit on the slow side for his taste, it was pleasant nonetheless, for the simple reason that he was jogging with her. For Hugo it was more like taking quick steps instead of running. Emily knew that wasn’t enough for him, which is why she spent a longer time jogging at that park, compared to dog parks, where she would spend half the time jogging and Hugo would get to run as fast or slow as he wanted, without her slowing him down.

After about half an hour, Emily slowly came to a halt, hand on her side and bent forward trying to catch her breath. When Loki noticed she wasn’t at his side anymore, he stopped and turned around. Seeing her bent forward, he rushed back to her and bent down to level his face to hers and placed a gentle palm over her shoulder.

“Em, are you alright?” his face conveyed concern, so did his voice.

Emily nodded, giving him a thumbs up with the hand that was over her knee and then put it back there for balance. After a few seconds she straightened up and wiped her forehead with her palm, then wiped it over the side of her leggings. The other hand still squeezing at her side.

“I might have skipped a few days of jogging?” she gave a guilty grin. “Just needed to catch my breath, that’s all.”

Loki had straightened up with her, and sighed in relief that she was just catching her breath and nothing more. He wouldn’t know what to do otherwise, seeing that they weren’t at the tower and he wasn’t very familiar with any other places in the city they called New York. Also, FRIDAY wasn’t around for him to call instantly.

“Would you like to sit down for a bit?” he asked, giving her a caring smile.

“Nah, I’m good. Need to keep the muscles moving. Let’s walk a bit before we resume?”

“Alright.” Loki replied and they started walking. He kept an eye on their surroundings, people passing them by, either jogging or walking. Some rushing with a cup of coffee in hand. Those must have been on the way to work. He was grateful he would be working in the same building he lived in, only a few floors between his floor and what would be considered his office. He also had the privilege to be able to work from home, though he wondered how that will come to pass. Once he started work, which should be in a week or so, he would be able to put these small details together and get all the answers he needed.

A couple were walking in their direction. The husband was pushing a stroller and the wife had the leash of their golden retriever in her hand. As they got closer, the golden retriever curiously approached Hugo, which made Emily and the other woman stop.

“Sorry, he does that every time we pass a dog.” The women said with a guilty smile on her face.

“It’s alright, Hugo is friendly with everyone.” Emily smiled and watched as the two dogs sniffed each other. Loki was watching the whole interaction silently.

The husband pushed the stroller closer and stood next to his wife, putting a hand over her back. “Is he making friends again?” he chuckled.

“When does he not?” she replied and leaned against him, then straightened up and extended her hand to Emily. “Sorry, since our dogs are introducing themselves to each other, I think we should, too. I’m Valeria, this is my husband, Ben and our daughter Jennifer.”

Emily shook Valeria’s hand with a smile. “Nice to meet you, I’m Emily, this is Loki, and Hugo.” She then shook Ben’s hand as well. Loki followed suit with the handshaking, but remained otherwise silent.

“And that’s Prince.” Ben pointed at the golden retriever. “He’s always curious.”

“It’s not always a bad thing.” Emily chuckled and then looked at the baby in the stroller. “May I?” she pointed at the baby and looked at the parents, who nodded.

She bent over the stroller with a huge grin on her face as she saw the baby sleeping, one hand at the side of her head, while she was sucking on the thumb of the other. She had a pink ribbon around her head, adorned with three soft flowers at the front. Emily squeaked quietly and waved her hands in excitement, then turned to Loki, “Loki, come look! She’s so precious!” she whispered excitedly.

Loki walked over to stand next to her, putting a hand over her back and bent down to have a look. “She is beautiful.” He whispered, smiling at the sleeping baby. He could see Emily’s eyes shining as she looked at the child and something squeezed at his heart.

He remembered her telling him that the anniversary of her unborn child’s passing was approaching. It would be in a few days. Even though she had told him it has been years and she had moved on, he had a feeling she still suffered inwardly and the moving on part was meant for those around her, but not for herself.

He straightened up, hand still on Emily’s back and turned to the couple. “You have a lovely family.” He said, smiling.

“Thank you, Sir. You do as well.” Ben replied.

Emily stood up and before she got to correct the man, Loki took the chance and wrapped an arm around her waist. “Thank you.” He replied. Emily simply smiled and looked at Loki and the need to correct disappeared instantly. If she were to be honest, they had already become some sort of a family. Doing things together almost every day, even with Pepper and Morgan. Especially with Morgan. It made her feel content with how far they have come since the day he was brought to the medical facility. Maybe they weren’t a family in the way Ben had meant, but they were, more or less, a family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are always much appreciated ❤


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone for the comments!

Emily had brought Loki back to the tower in the evening that day. After jogging, they had returned to her apartment, and since Loki had barely broken sweat, he decided to wait with showering until he was back home. Emily didn’t mind it at all, though she was soaking in her own sweat. So, after cleaning up the mess Hugo had made in the living room the night before, and apologizing a million times to Loki for the state of the living room, Emily went to shower and change, while Loki kept Hugo company. She joined them afterwards in the living room.

They had spent a lazy day together. Watching a couple of movies while cuddling, taking Hugo for another walk in the late afternoon. Only after an early dinner together had she brought him back to the tower.

“Thank you for a lovely day.” Loki said as Emily parked the car in front of the tower.

“You’re welcome.” She replied, smiling. “And thank you for spending it with me.”

“It was an honour.” He took her hand and brought it to his lips, placing a soft peck over the back of it, his eyes fixated on hers.

Emily felt a warm wave go through her body. The way he looked at her as he kissed her hand felt so private, so intimate. It was not like the courtesy kind of hand kissing gentlemen did out of respect or compliment for women, no. There was depth to his eyes, unspoken emotions that one couldn’t convey in words.

When he lowered her hand, she cupped his cheek and leaned in for a soft kiss on the lips. Loki closed his eyes as he marvelled the feel of her soft lips against his. His heart rate took pace, beating hard against his chest like it was about to burst. He instinctively brought his hand to his chest, though the way it felt was different than how it would feel when he was being anxious. He wasn’t suffocating this time. He didn’t feel like cutting his chest open to let some air in to breathe. It felt more like he was floating on clouds, soft and serene, carrying him away to a world void of sorrow.

As their lips parted, they bid each other good night and Loki finally stepped out of the car and waited for her to drive away before he went into the building.

As he stood in front of the elevators, waiting for one to come down, the same feeling from before had returned. He was, once again, being watched. A dark feeling wrapped itself around him as he frowned. This was becoming a constant occurrence. The weird thing was that it followed him to the nearby cafe the other day, but in Emily’s neighbourhood he hadn’t felt it. Something was off about it. If he was being followed, then why not all the way to where Emily lived? Why keep it only in Manhattan and more specifically, around and inside the tower?

As the elevator arrived, he shot in and pressed the button to his floor. As soon as the doors closed, he spoke. “FRIDAY, I was being watched again.”

“On it. And I took the liberty to change your destination to the penthouse. Pepper is back and wants to speak to you.”

“Everything alright?”

“So far, yes. But she’s also been experiencing the feeling of being watched.”

“Please let me have a quick stop at my room. I need to change first before I see Pepper. I won’t be long.”

“As you wish. I will inform her.”

“Thank you, FRIDAY.”

For the remainder of the way up, Loki remained silent. If Pepper was also being watched, it meant they were being targeted and there was no way they could find out who it was. They needed to take protective measures. He knew Pepper could handle herself, but there was also Morgan. Had he had his seiðr, he could have cast a protective spell on her, to keep her away from harm. He hoped beyond hope that nothing would happen while they tried to figure this out.

After a quick shower and a change of clothes, Loki darted upstairs and saw Pepper, Thor, Bruce and Happy sitting in the living room. Pepper was on the phone while Happy was tapping away on his phone.

Loki walked in, greeting everyone with a nod and took a seat on an armchair. They waited until Pepper was done with the call and set her phone on the coffee table.

“Hi Loki, thanks for joining us.” She said, worry written all over her face.

“My apologies for the delay, I needed to change first.” He gave her an apologetic smile.

“It’s okay, don’t worry about it.” She smiled and turned to everyone. “Okay, so the reason I called you all here is because it’s been a few days since Loki and Thor had mentioned being watched within the tower. Loki had even been followed from the coffee shop around the corner until the ground floor entrance. FRIDAY had also just informed me that you had the same feeling earlier on the way up, correct?” she turned to Loki.

“Indeed.”

“And to top it all, I had the same feeling all weekend at the lakeside house. With Morgan with me, it felt extremely creepy. I wanted to come back last night already, but she insisted we stay the whole weekend. I mean, nothing happened, and I had Rescue with me, but still.”

“Is Morgan alright?” Loki asked, concerned about her wellbeing.

“She’s fine. Sleeping at the moment. She didn’t notice anything, thankfully. Though you know how curious and attentive she is. Kept asking if something was wrong and I was running out of lies to tell.” Pepper sighed, leaning back on the armchair she was occupying. “I can’t help but worry about her. I have so many what ifs running through my head, it would put Tony’s anxiety to shame.”

“No matter what it is, we will protect you, Pepper.” Thor said, leaning forward in his seat. “We have to be careful about this. Whatever invisible force this is, we cannot let it win.”

“We first need to find out what or who it is.” Bruce said.

“I’m implementing new security measures. Everyone who enters the tower will have to submit a fingerprint and a retinal scan. Same procedure upon leaving, even if they are going to the coffee shop or for a lunch break. No exceptions.” Happy pocketed his phone.

“That’s actually smart.” Bruce said, nodding his approval.

“Thank you, Doctor Banner.” Happy straightened up in his seat, visibly proud of himself. “I’ve asked Peter to join us soon. Maybe his Peter-Tingle can help.”

“Peter-Tingle?” Bruce raised an eyebrow.

“His spider sense.” Pepper chuckled. “May started calling it Peter-Tingle and it stuck.”

“Would he be alright coming here after..” Loki didn’t need to continue, as they knew what he meant. Peter had attacked him after accusing him of killing his parents. They hadn’t seen each other since.

“He will.” Happy said. “He’s a reasonable kid and doesn’t hold grudges. Not for long anyway.”

Loki nodded. He hoped that was the case, though he highly doubted it. Peter was quite angry that day. In fact, angry didn’t even describe Peter’s fury that day. Though understandable, it still shook Loki to the core.

-*-*-*-*-*-

The next days had been hectic, to say the least. Happy had started the new protocol of getting the scanners set up at every entrance to the tower. No one, no matter who they were or what they were doing at the tower, needed to submit their fingerprints and retinal scan upon entering and leaving.

Naturally, the new protocols didn’t come without some protest from a number of employees, but Happy wouldn’t have it any other way. It was his way or the high way. Everyone at the tower was on edge, not knowing the reason behind the new protocols and Happy had insisted the real reason behind it should remain amongst the four of them, plus Peter, because they needed his assistance in finding out whether there was a threat and naturally, Emily, because she was often at the penthouse and she was Pepper’s cousin.

Peter had come on the Monday afternoon, right after school, to talk to Pepper and Happy about what they needed him for. He was apprehensive at first about coming to the tower, not wanting to bump into Loki. He still believed Loki was solely to blame for the death of his parents and wouldn’t hear otherwise. But he agreed to help out with finding out what or who was watching them so closely, despite what he felt against Loki. As long as they weren’t alone in the same room, it should be doable.

Loki had started spending more time with Morgan. While without his magic, he could still fight and defend her, were there something to happen. The only times she wasn’t with him was when Pepper was home, or when she was at school. He had also started his new job as a consultant on the Monday. Being lucky enough to be able to make his own working schedule, he opted for working at times when Morgan was at school. That way, whenever she was at the tower, he wouldn’t be distracted by work.

Emily kept coming and going to work, spending some time before or after her work -depending on her shifts- either at the penthouse or with Loki. If they were officially dating, she wasn’t sure, nor did it matter at this time, given the circumstances. What mattered is that they were all invested in getting to the bottom of this whole thing and that everyone was safe.

On the Wednesday afternoon, Pepper, Thor and Loki were in the living room at the Avengers level. Morgan was sitting at the dining table scribbling away on heaps of paper, while the adults were busy in a discussion.

“I have a feeling we should tell Fury about this, maybe he knows something.” Pepper said.

“But Fury is not SHIELD anymore, would he have the knowledge?” Thor asked. In all the time he had been back, he hadn’t seen Fury or any of the other SHIELD agents that he used to see around the tower or the Avengers compound. In fact, he hasn’t even been to the compound either. “And what of the Avengers?”

Loki stiffened at the mention of the Avengers. He knew that Fury was aware of him staying at the tower, but the Avengers didn’t know. He didn’t know and quite frankly, didn’t _want_ to know how they would react to the fact. At least not for as long as he didn’t have any magic to defend himself.

“Fury has eyes and ears everywhere, despite not being the director of SHIELD anymore. Though we could probably contact SHIELD as well. Mack is a reasonable person and might have valuable insight.” Pepper replied, deeply in thought.

“Who’s Mack?” Thor asked. The name didn’t sound familiar, though involving SHIELD might be a good option.

“Alphonso Mackenzie, he’s the new director of SHIELD after Coulson passed away.”

“Wait, wait, wait..” Loki straightened up in his seat. “I thought Fury was the director when I killed Coulson?” It seemed that a lot had changed through the years since the last time he was on Midgard. A few months living there and there were still things he needed catching up on. And then he realized something. When Peter accused him of killing his parents, Loki kept swearing to both Emily and Pepper that he hadn’t killed a Midgardian. And right now he remembered there was a Midgardian that he had _actually_ killed. The SHIELD agent known as Phil Coulson. Loki felt his heart beat elevating at the thought of having lied to Emily and Pepper. Something he would have never paid any attention to in the past. Lying was a second nature to him, but for some reason when it came to Emily and Pepper? Things seemed to have changed.

“I thought Tony might have mentioned it.” Pepper turned to Thor, who shook his head. “Oh.. well, yeah during the battle of New York, Fury was director, that’s true. After Coulson died then, Fury put him through a project called Terrestrialized Alien Host Integrative Tissue I. In short, T.A.H.I.T.I. It was a level 9 project ordered by Fury and overseen by Coulson, designed to revive a fallen Avenger. Coulson was an Avenger in his own right, so Fury used the project and revived him. When SHIELD fell, Coulson managed to revive it and became director. He only passed away a few years ago from his old injury, the one you gave him.” She looked at Loki. Her gaze wasn’t accusatory, but merely informative. Loki took it as such and nodded, looking down onto his lap. So at least that was a relief. Since Coulson had been revived, he technically hadn’t actually killed him. The agent had died of an old injury.

“Coulson fought valiantly on the Hellicarier.” Thor said, a soft smile on his face. 

Loki’s mind was elsewhere at that moment. He was only briefly on Midgard eleven years ago and the consequences were still haunting him. He absentmindedly started shaking his knee as he started feeling anxious. When will it ever stop? First, he ends up at the very same tower he had fought the Avengers, thrown Stark out of the very window that was now before him, been beaten to a pulp by the Hulk; and then Peter comes at him with the accusation of killing his parents; and now he learned that Coulson died twice, both times at his hand, even though the second time indirectly, but it was his doing nonetheless.

Loki hated killing when it wasn’t for self defence or a hunt. And the memories of the Battle of New York just kept haunting him to this day. Maybe he should have stayed on Sakaar. No guilt there and no memories that came to haunt him. But then, if he had stayed on Sakaar, he wouldn’t have met Emily. He’d rather deal with being haunted by nightmares and unpleasant memories than not having met her at all.

He visibly stiffened when two hands gently grabbed at his shoulders from behind him. If it wasn’t for the familiar scent of spring flowers that tickled his nostrils and the smiles on Pepper and Thor’s faces, he would probably have done something he would regret even more than his attack on New York. The hands gently massaged his shoulders for a second before Emily emerged from the back of the armchair he was sitting on and sat down on the armrest next to him. “Hey there.” She smiled at him, as his facial expression instantly changed from almost panic to relieved, with a warm smile gracing his features. She draped her arm over the backrest before turning to the other two. “Hi guys, what were you talking about?”

“SHIELD.” Pepper said, a knowing smile on her face as she watched them.

“What about SHIELD?” Emily asked, absentmindedly twirling a strand of Loki’s hair at the back of his head, not even realizing Thor and Pepper were watching them, both smiling like idiots.

Loki felt a bit nervous. He knew why Thor and Pepper were looking at them like that. He could feel Emily playing with his hair, but he didn’t dare to move. First of all, it felt nice. Secondly, it was Emily. And thirdly, well, it felt nice. They hadn’t told anyone about their friendship taking a whole different turn. In fact, he didn’t know if they were courting or not. In Asgardian tradition, he should be formally asking her permission to court her, but they had somehow skipped that part when Pepper had hinted to him that he needed to talk to her the day she walked with him at the park, after Peter’s attack. He wasn’t sure how courting worked on Midgard, but he assumed there would probably be some sort of verbal agreement between concerned parties. Maybe he should address it at some point, but for the time being, for as long as they themselves haven’t talked about it, he saw no need to formally include anyone else.

“I was thinking maybe we should inform them about the current situation.” Pepper said, answering Emily’s question.

“Is this Mack guy really to be trusted?” Thor asked.

“It’s SHIELD, they’re never to be fully trusted.” Pepper said. There had been numerous occasions where SHIELD interfered with either Tony’s business or hers, and while Pepper had always managed to come out with the upper hand, it was never an easy or clean process.

“Then I suggest we only inform Fury, since he’s not SHIELD. We can decide whether we want to involve them or not depending on his reaction to the fact.” Loki supplied, absentmindedly resting his arm over Emily’s thigh.

Morgan seemed to have finished her drawing session and came to join her mom. Pepper picked her up and set her over her lap as they continued discussing matters. At first Morgan felt bored, but then she noticed Emily twirling Loki’s hair and she jumped off her mom’s lap. “Em! I want to play with Loki’s hair too!” she squeaked and ran to Emily.

Emily froze mid-twirl upon realizing what she was doing and she was caught, by a five-year-old, nonetheless. Loki froze as well and quickly removed his arm from her thigh and pulled it to himself. Both turned red in the cheeks as they stared at Thor and Pepper, not knowing what to expect.

It only took Thor and Pepper a few seconds before they burst out laughing. Emily picked Morgan and set her on her lap, while Loki leaned forward, propping his elbows over his knees and buried his face into his palms, silently mumbling “Oh my God..”

“You two should see your faces!” Thor was practically collapsing of laughter, slapping his knee in the process.

Pepper shook her head, being more reserved than Thor was, but still laughed. “It is priceless.” She said.

Loki sighed and took Morgan from Emily’s lap and set her on the other armrest, putting an arm around her waist so she wouldn’t fall. “This way you have better access to my hair.” He whispered to her and smiled. She immediately started happily playing with his hair, twirling it around her tiny fingers.

Loki turned to look Emily, who was totally red in the face and her eyes were open wide in what seemed to either be shock or embarrassment, or maybe both, he wasn’t sure. She blinked a couple of times and looked at him, not really knowing how to get out of it or even how to make Thor and Pepper stop laughing. The both of them then turned to look at the other two, silently waiting for the laughter to stop.

Loki decided that enough was enough. His relationship with Emily was not a subject for mockery. To Hel with keeping things to themselves for the time being. He frowned as he glared at Thor, and only because Morgan was in the room and sitting next to him that he didn’t just get up to stab some sense into his brother.

So instead, he did what any royalty would do. He imposed his authority. He put his arm back over Emily’s thigh, his hand resting over her knee and he raised his chin. “I would appreciate if you would stop mocking us.” He spoke in a low, yet commanding tone, which sent shivers down Emily’s spine. She looked at him with total admiration. The soft spoken, easily prone to an anxiety attack Loki was suddenly authoritative and regal. She hadn’t seen this side of Loki, ever! And for some reason, while it enticed fear, she also found it extremely sexy. She could only imagine how he used to be before he had ended up there at the tower a few months ago. “We are not doing anything that would bring shame to Emily or her family, or to mine.”

Emily ran her hand over Loki’s forearm that was stretched over her thigh before she placed her hand over his, entwining their fingers. Well, the secret that wasn’t really intended to be a secret was out. The good thing was that they were among family, and the way Pepper was looking at them showed her that there was some form of approval there and no malice. Emily smiled at her cousin who simply nodded at her, smiling back.

“Brother, I did not mean to mock your relationship with Emily.” Thor said after he stopped laughing, though the smile never left his face. “If anything, I am quite happy for the both of you.”

“So what are you doing then?” Morgan suddenly chipped in, causing another bout of laughter, this time from Loki and Emily as well. Emily bent down over her knees, “Oh my God!! Oh my God!” she laughed her heart out at the child’s innocent question. She then turned to the side and hid her face behind Loki’s head, her hand leaving his and coming to rest against his chest. “Oh God I can’t..” she kept on laughing, hiding her face behind him.

“Well, my fair maiden,” Loki said with a huge grin on his face, bringing Morgan to sit on his lap and brushed her hair off her face, “you’ve got competition.”

“Compishon for what? Is there a prize?” she perked up at the prospect of a prize.

Loki laughed even more and shook his head, “No prize, I’m afraid. Just my heart.”

Emily’s laughter had subsided and she sat up. Upon hearing Loki’s words, she cupped his cheek and turned his face so he was looking at her and placed a gentle kiss over his lips, making Morgan wrinkle her nose, “That’s the grand prize in my book.” She said softly.

Pepper turned to look at Thor with a huge grin on her face, hands clasped against her chest. She was very happy for the both of them. Thor was smiling approvingly as well. His little brother has found someone he truly cared for, and he was even more happy that it was Emily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, your comments motivate me <3


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: nightmare, torture  
> Warning: smut.

As every day passed, Loki’s anxiety kept building up. Every time he went to the ground floor of the building, or the gym or the library, he still felt being watched. The same happened with Thor and Pepper. It felt like they were constantly being monitored by an invisible force. Happy’s security measures haven’t brought up any suspicious behaviour. So far only registered employees, pre-approved visitors and couriers had been inside the tower. Every single person’s background was being extensively checked by FRIDAY upon having their fingerprints and retinas scanned. 

Loki was having problems sleeping. He was constantly having nightmares now, one more gruesome than the other. Due to constantly being around Morgan, he had to compose himself so he wouldn’t end up with an anxiety attack in her presence, and it was taking its toll on him. He was constantly fidgety, jumping at the smallest of things, but always kept a solid calm facade whenever Morgan was in the room. A child should always be protected against the ailments of the adults. His appointment with Matt wasn’t fruitful either, as he couldn’t concentrate enough to form coherent sentences. His mind kept drifting to the nightmares, to the feeling of being watched, to Emily, to Morgan, Pepper, Thor, everyone around him. He was a mess.

Whenever Morgan was with Pepper, Loki would spend time alone in his room, unless Emily was around. Thor didn’t question it, since his brother used to keep to himself on Asgard as well, so he believed his brother was simply becoming more and more of his old self. Though Emily had noticed his restlessness and the dark circles under his eyes. Whenever she would ask him about it, he would dismiss it as possibly about to catch a cold, which was a blatant lie and she knew it.

One evening Emily had decided to stay the night at the tower after working a day shift at the medical facility. She had brought Hugo with her and he had spent the day with Loki and Morgan. They had even gone out for a walk to the dog park together. Thor was visiting Fury at an undisclosed location and had decided to spend the night there while they were still discussing the occurrences at the tower.

After dinner with Pepper, Emily had spent the evening with Loki on the Avengers floor. They watched a movie together, though she noticed that Loki wasn’t at all paying attention to the movie and was fighting sleep the whole time. She was starting to feel even more concerned about him, and he simply refused to talk about it.

“Loki,” she sat up from where she was snuggling against his chest on the couch.

“Yes, dear?”

“Why don’t you talk to me?”

“What do you mean? We are talking now, aren’t we?”

“That’s not what I mean.” She leaned her head against his shoulder and started playing with the buttons of his shirt. “There’s something troubling you. I can see it on your face. But whenever I ask you if you’re alright, you keep telling me you’re about to catch a cold, which I know is not true.”

Loki closed his eyes and sighed. He turned his face to her and pressed his lips against her head. “I’m fine. You need not worry.” He mumbled against her forehead.

“While I’m not convinced, is there anything I can do to help?” she raised her head to look into his eyes.

He smiled at her and shook his head. “Just being here is helpful enough.” He said and kissed her gently, making her gasp softly and fist her hand into his shirt. No matter how or when he kissed her, he always managed to melt her whole being into a puddle of goo.

“You know,” she leaned her head against his shoulder, “I’m going to the cemetery tomorrow.. if you’d like to join me, that is.”

He gently ran his thumb over her jawline and kissed the top of her head. “I’d be honoured.”

She smiled and wrapped her arm around his waist. “Thank you.” She whispered.

-*-*-*-*-*-

After the movie had finished, they bid each other goodnight and Emily had gone upstairs to her room. Loki was dreading sleep, not wanting to deal with the nightmares again.

It was always the same. He was back in the Void, arms and legs spread apart and chained as he hovered above the ground. The Other would draw his claws over his skin until he would bleed, though he refused to scream. The Other would then step aside and Ebony Maw would take over, conjuring microsurgery needles and slowly and agonizingly stabbing Loki in several places over his body, he would then replace the needles with a scorching rod of metal, burning Loki’s back and the God would still not scream.

In the intense silence within his nightmare, Loki somehow screamed with his whole body. The agonizing pain shot through his whole being as he writhed in his sleep, his fists clenched with blanched knuckles and his nails digging deeply into the palms of his hand.

Emily was in deep sleep when FRIDAY spoke in her room. “Miss Green, please wake up.” The AI spoke as softly as possible, yet loud enough to be heard. She repeated her request a couple of times before Emily had stirred.

Emily rubbed her face and sat up, eyes still closed and sleepy. “Who’s there?” she mumbled and was about to drop back into sleep when FRIDAY spoke again.

“Miss Green, please stay awake. It’s urgent.”

She opened her eyes and looked at a sensor. “FRIDAY? What’s up?”

“I’m afraid Mr. Odinson might be having a nightmare. His heartrate is off the charts and is not responding to my attempts of waking him up.”

Emily jumped off her bed and ran towards the staircase and downstairs. As she barged into the Avengers level, Loki’s scream tore through the whole floor like a giant shard of glass. Emily’s eyes widened and her pulse quickened. Her heart was thudding like a rock rattling in a wooden box as she ran towards his room. The scream came again, desperate, terrified. She opened the door to Loki’s bedroom and walked in. The blood drained from her face upon seeing him, writhing violently between the sheets. She ran to his side and grabbed his shoulders, trying to hold him still. “Loki, it’s me, wake up. Loki, it’s just a nightmare, please wake up.”

Loki wouldn’t hear her. He kept screaming. His screams were of a person consumed with pain that knew no end nor limit. It tore through her heart. Seeing him like this was torture to her. She didn’t know when tears started rolling down her cheeks as she kept shaking Loki as gentle as she could, yet trying to be firm as well. “Loki.. please wake up, you’re safe. I swear to you, you’re safe.” She was sobbing by then, not being able to stop herself. “Loki,” she got on the bed and knelt next to him and cupped his face and stroked his cheeks. “Loki, wake up for fuck’s sake. You’re safe, I’m here, Loki. You’re safe, God damn it!” her voice was wavering, trying to speak softly, yet failing due to crying.

Loki’s eyes shot open as he gasped for air, his hands clutching tightly at the bedsheets while his legs entangled within them. He felt like he was suffocating, desperately gasping for air. His eyes met those of the one person he didn’t expect to see, and she was.. crying?

“Loki, you’re safe. It’s just a nightmare, I promise.” She kept repeating between sobs and ran her thumbs over his cheeks. “You’re safe. Take deep breaths, slowly. You know how to do it. Just like that.”

Despite being overwhelmed about seeing him in such agony and crying her eyes out, Emily guided him through his breathing, patiently repeating her words like a mantra until Loki was finally breathing relatively slower than before.

He finally opened his palms and pushed himself into a sitting position. Emily let go of him and stayed kneeling next to him as he bent forward and buried his face into his palms, slowly catching his breath and trying to get his racing heart to slow down.

She stroked his hair in silence, patiently waiting for him to fully wake up before she spoke any more, though she didn’t stop crying. Though her sobs had turned into silent hiccups, the tears simply didn’t stop. She felt terrified for him and wanted to just wrap him in a blanket and forever protect him from those nightmares that seemed to have come out of nowhere.

Loki slowly sat up and pulled her into his arms. She wrapped her arms around him and buried her face into the crook of his neck as she continued crying in silence. “You’re safe, I promise. You’re safe, Loki.” She whispered between sobs, clinging tightly to him. 

He rubbed soothing circles against her back and for a moment it seemed like he was comforting her instead of her trying to comfort him. When she finally stopped sobbing, she sat back but kept one hand over his shoulder, while she cupped his cheek with the other. “It was just a nightmare.” She whispered, worry and concern written all over her tearful face.

He nodded, leaning into her touch and closing his eyes. He put his hand over hers and turned his face sideways to kiss her palm, then he looked back at her, the tiniest of smiles tugging at the corner of his lips. He felt exhausted, though. Extremely exhausted, like he had ran three marathons simultaneously. He placed both his hands over her hips and leaned forward, resting his forehead against her chest. She simply held him close and stroked his hair. No words were needed to be said at that moment. He simply needed some time and she was willing to give him as much as he needed.

“I’m sorry..” he mumbled after a while, “to have disturbed your sleep.”

“Shhh, nonsense. I’m glad I was staying here tonight.” She whispered and kissed the top of his head.

He straightened up and looked into her eyes. “Still, I apologize.”

She smiled at him and held his face in her palms. “You never need to apologize to me, Loki. Not for this.”

He nodded and leaned in to kiss her. Her lips tasted salty from her tears, and it ached him that he had caused her such sorrow. Nevertheless, feeling her brought a spark of joy into his heart. She was the light at the end of the dark tunnel he had often found himself in. She was his salvation, the one that would collect his shattered pieces and put him back together. The kiss was slow, careful, yet intimate. Loki wrapped his arms around Emily and pulled her on top of him as he lay down, never breaking the kiss. She moved her legs so now they were stretched out, one between Loki’s legs and the other to the outer side, straddling his thigh. His hands moved over her back while hers were over his chest and neck, feeling every muscle under her fingertips.

She felt the heat rising within her, and if she didn’t stop now there was no telling where this would go, and this was not the time for it. Not right after a massive nightmare. She slowly broke the kiss and nuzzled the tip of Loki’s nose before letting herself lay down next to him, resting her head over his shoulder while her hand stayed over his chest.

“Do you want to talk about it?” she whispered. “Sometimes it helps to not keep things bottled up inside.”

“I was back in the Void. Being tortured, over and over again. Each time the pain was more real and intense. Tonight was the first time I couldn’t wake up on my own.”

“You mean this has been happening for a while?”

He nodded. “A few days, in fact. You were right, you know, about me not feeling well. Though it’s not a cold like I’ve been claiming. Please accept my sincerest apologies for that. I didn’t want to lie to you, but I couldn’t tell you about the nightmares either.”

She turned her face to look at him. “Loki Odinson, please stop not telling me things, no matter how horrible you think they are. It won’t change the way I feel about you, you big goofball.” She finally grinned at him.

He grinned back, “And how do you feel about me?”

“Why couldn’t you tell me about the nightmares?” she tried to direct the subject back to him, realizing she had said too much.

“Didn’t want to burden you with them.” He replied in a heartbeat. “How do you feel about me?”

“You should know by now your problems are not a burden, Loki.” She ran her hand over his chest to emphasize her words. “Have you had those nightmares before these past few days?”

“Years ago, right after I was freed from the clutches of the Mind Stone. How do you feel about me?”

He really wasn’t going to drop it, the persistent little shit. “Why do you want to know?”

“Because you brought it up and didn’t elaborate. And I’m a curious creature. Now, tell me, or I will make you.” He said in a low, almost dangerous voice, with a mischievous glint in his eyes. “How do you feel about me?”

“When you learn to open up to me without thinking it would be a burden, maybe then you’ll find out.” She replied with a smirk.

“You little minx.” He growled with a grin on his face and started tickling her. She yelped and squirmed to get away, but he pinned her down and rolled on top of her, straddling her and held both her hands above her head, while continued mercilessly tickling her with the other. “Tell me, or I’ll continue.”

“NeverrAAAAH!” she didn’t even know she was this ticklish as her loud laughter filled the room. Good thing they were alone on the floor, otherwise they would have had to explain to Thor what was going on there, and that would have been the embarrassment of the century.

Despite the ticklish torture he was putting her through, Emily was glad that she had managed to distract him from his nightmare. He continued tickling her sides until she couldn’t breathe anymore.

“Please.. Loki.. stop..” she kept squirming and laughing and tears started flowing down her cheeks again. “Oh God, I can’t breathe, Lokiiii!” she squeaked and giggled within his grasp. He was too strong for her, even kicking him wasn’t working.

“How do you feel about me?” he repeated while continued to playfully torture her, highly amused by her resistance.

“Okayokayokay..” she squirmed, trying to free herself and failing. “I love you, okay? I love you, there I said it. Stoooopahahaha!”

At first Loki didn’t register what she said, and by the second time it took him a moment until it finally hit home and he stopped. He braced himself on top of her, on all fours, and looked into her eyes, grinning though not quite believing what he had just heard.

“I love you.” She whispered, as if testing the words for the first time and trying out how they felt against her tongue. And they felt.. natural, like the words had always belonged to the person she had spoken them to.

Loki’s grin widened and in swift motion he leaned down and captured her lips in a heated, passionate kiss, like he hadn’t seen her for ages and they had just gotten back together at that instant. The moment their lips touched, the world vanished instantly. Their eyes closed, all they could feel was each other. Her warmth, his touch, her hands running through his hair and grabbing it at the back of his neck, pulling him even closer as she moaned into the kiss.

Her sound made him groan with desire as he deepened the kiss, his tongue invading her mouth and dancing against hers. His hand had found its way to her face and was now moving down her collarbone and past it. Emily didn’t show any resistance, so Loki continued moving his hand down her chest until it came to rest over her breast. Emily’s brain was on fire and she moaned again as she arched her back, and grabbed Loki’s hand that was on her breast and squeezed, showing him how she liked it. Loki’s breath hitched in his throat and waves of electricity shot down his whole being and seemed to concentrate on one certain region.

He continued kneading Emily’s breast before he braced himself on his knees and brought his other hand to massage her other breast.

Emily’s body was in ecstasy. She arched her back and broke the kiss as she dropped her head backwards to moan Loki’s name. He took that opportunity to kiss her neck, sucking and licking his way up and down, grazing the skin with his teeth while his hands kept massaging her shirt-covered breasts.

Emily’s hands were all over his sweaty shirt. She fisted both hands into the fabric at his sides and pulled it up. Loki stopped his ministrations only to pull the shirt over his head and toss it aside, and dropped back down to capture her lips in yet another passionate kiss. Emily’s hands were back on his body, wanting to feel every inch of him, her nails digging into his skin though not drawing blood. 

Loki’s hand found the hem of her shirt, lifted it up a bit while he continued kissing her. He placed his hand over her stomach and that caused her to gasp into the kiss and he took it as a positive sign to move forward. Slowly caressing his way up, he pushed the shirt further up on the way until he was cupping her breast and running a gentle thumb over the perked up nipple. Emily shivered at the touch and moaned softly. Loki broke the kiss, only to start placing butterfly kisses on her chin, down her neck and chest, until he reached between her breasts. He stopped for a moment and sat up. Emily opened her eyes to see what happened that caused him to stop, only to be met with blazing green eyes staring down at her flushed face and looking down to her breasts, licking his lips as he did so. Emily pulled her shirt off and over her head and tossed it aside. It landed on the floor with a soft thud. Loki just stared at her with desire burning in his eyes, his hands cupped her breasts again, thumbs running over the nipples, which in turn made Emily drop her head and let out a shivering sigh. 

Loki then bent over her, capturing one sensitive nipple between his lips and ran the tip of his tongue over it, while he gently pinched the other nipple between thumb and index. Emily moaned, arching her back, which led to a shiver run down Loki’s spine and he started sucking at her breast, licking and lightly grazing the skin with his teeth. He then gave the other breast equal treatment and at this point Emily was writhing with want and desire. Her hands were tangled in his hair, massaging his scalp and gently pulling at the raven locks as he continued working on her breasts. His lips then started travelling further down, nibbling and kissing his way down her abdomen, he ran his tongue over her soft skin that smelled like spring flowers, reaching her navel and circling it, before he dipped his tongue into it.

His eyes were fixated on her as he moved his hand to the waistline of her shorts. Loki was now kneeling between her legs and kissing a horizontal line along the edge of the fabric. “May I?” he whispered as he looked at her. She looked back through heavily lidded eyes and nodded, lifting her hips a bit so he could pull the shorts off. He hooked his fingers through the waistline of shorts and underwear and pulled them both off and threw them to the side. He then sat back, with Emily’s legs spread at both his sides as he admired the view before him.

Emily’s eyes were closed as her breath started speeding up. It has been a while since she was this intimate with a man and for the mere fact that she was sharing this intimacy with Loki, the man she had just confessed her love to, made her heart beat frantically against her chest.

Loki ran his hands over her thighs as he admired the view before him. The woman who has somehow managed to capture his heart without even trying, laying naked before him, legs spread out and inviting. Ever so gently, he leaned forward on top of her, until he was face to face with her. “Open your eyes for me, please.” He purred softly, and when she did, he brought his hand to her chin, gently running his knuckles over her jaw and looked directly into her eyes. “I love you, too.” He whispered and captured her lips into a deep kiss, for his heart threatened to burst out in colourful butterflies.

He kissed his way back down ever so slowly. Taking his time with every gentle peck he placed over her skin until he was kneeling between her legs again. He looked up at her as he dipped his head down, kissing her inner thighs until he reached her center. He ran the tip of his tongue over her clit and made her shiver and let out a soft moan, lifting her hips ever so slightly as pleasure tickled at every nerve in her being. The sight before him made all blood rush down to his already aching cock, which he ignored for the time being and focused on her. He ran his tongue along her pussy and circled her clit, drawing a trembling groan from her. She grabbed his hair as he continued sucking and licking her, earning him more moans from her.

Pleasure kept building up in her core as Loki continued his ministrations, his hand holding her hips firmly down on the mattress. “Loki, I’m c..” She clenched her legs around his neck, his lips feeling good against her. She arched her back as she climaxed, her moans filling out his bedroom walls.

Loki raised his head after her tremors subsided, licking his lips with a smirk on his face. He pulled himself up and locked his lips with hers in a slow, intimate kiss. Emily was panting and her heart was racing. Her trembling hands ran over Loki’s back in lazy circles.

Her hands found their way to the waist of his sweatpants and sneaked underneath, cupping the muscled buttocks and pulling his weight down on top of her. Not expecting that, Loki stumbled and just dropped on top of her, breaking the kiss and laughing into the crook of her neck.

Contrary to what she would have thought, his weight on top of her was not heavy. In fact, it felt just right. She kept her hands over his buttocks giggled along with him. Then, she brought her hands up, hooked a leg around his and turned them around, so now she was laying on top of him.

“My turn.” She whispered, kissing him, while she placed her palm over his erection, eliciting a groan from him.

She trailed his body with the tip of her tongue, kissing the sweaty skin every now and then. The hand over his bulge started moving along the length of it as her lips found a nipple and she started rolling her tongue around it. Loki didn’t know what to do with his hands. He grabbed at the bed sheets, brought them above his head, then down to her head. The waves of sensation firing through his body felt too much and he bucked his hips against her palm.

She continued kissing her way down, agonizingly slow for Loki’s taste, though he didn’t dare to protest as his breaths came in fast, short huffs. She hooked her fingers around the waist of his pants and pulled it down, letting his hard cock spring into view. She pulled the pants down to his thighs and didn’t even bother taking them all off. She took his cock into her hand and gave it a couple of slow strokes, fixing her eyes on his face before she dropped her head and ran her tongue along the length of him.

Loki groaned loudly, his hips bucking up as she wrapped her lips around the head, her tongue moving in circles at the tip while her hand kept stroking him in vertical motions. Her eyes remained on him. His breath hitched at the feral look in her eyes before she dipped her head, taking him further into her mouth.

He dropped his head and moaned, not quite able to resist thrusting his hips against her mouth. Her fingers curled around his balls, massaging them gently, while her other dug into his hip, trying to keep him from thrusting too hard. Loki inhaled through his nose, exhaling with a moan as Emily’s mouth kept sliding up and down his cock. His hands found their way to the back of her head, grabbing her hair as he started thrusting into her mouth. Emily sucked him deeper, harder, her hand coming to the base of his cock and moving alongside her head as she went up and down. Loki’s mind blanked when his entire body shuddered as he climaxed and he spilled into her mouth.

They lay there for a short while, both catching their breaths, until Emily lifted her head from his thigh and crawled up his body. She lay down on top of him and kissed him. He could taste himself in her mouth as their tongues slowly danced against each other. His hand moved lazily through her hair when the kiss ended and she had her face hidden into the crook of his neck.

“I can’t believe we did that.” She mumbled against his skin.

He wrapped his arms around her and turned them sideways, so now Emily was laying next to him, their bodies pressed against each other. “If it’s a dream, I do not want to ever wake up.”

“It must be quite the vivid dream, then.” She was smiling as she looked into his eyes. Who would have thought that running into his room to wake him up from a nightmare would lead to this? She definitely wouldn’t have, but she didn’t regret any second of it.

Loki pulled his pants off him and tossed them aside. He grabbed the edge of the blanket and pulled it over the both of them. “Stay the night?” 

She nodded, wrapping an arm around his waist and burying her face onto his chest as he held her in his arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't written smut for the past ten years. So apologies if it sucked (no pun intended.. maybe..)
> 
> Comments are much appreciated!


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: conversation about miscarriage. 
> 
> Thanks for the comments on the previous chapter!

That night was the best sleep Loki had gotten for the past week. 

As the first rays of sunlight sneaked into his bedroom through the edges of the curtains, Loki buried his face into the back of Emily’s head. He had his arms around her, and her back was against his chest. They fit perfectly together and the comfort of waking up with her in his arms brought a smile to his face.

After a few minutes Emily opened her eyes and for a moment she wondered why and when her room had gotten a shades of black and green. Though the arms around her and the gentle nuzzling at the back of her neck quickly reminded her of the happenings of the night before, making her blush slightly.

Realizing she was awake, Loki tightened his arms around her, bringing a hand to cup her breast. It felt pleasant in his palm and if he could, he would stay like this forever.

Emily chuckled silently at the hand holding her breast. She let him enjoy it for a minute before she tapped at his hand and turned herself around to face him.

“Good morning,” he looked into her eyes and leaned in for a kiss, but she pulled her face away.

“I have morning breath.” She brought her hand to her mouth, but he would have none of it.

“Don’t care.” He mumbled and pulled her hand away and placed a soft kiss over her lips. 

She smiled and closed her eyes, burying her face into the crook of his neck. “I think I like waking up with you.”

Loki smiled, “I do too, my love.” He raised her chin to look at her. “You’re beautiful in the mornings.” He kissed her again and she cupped his cheek, sighing into the kiss.

“I’m a mess in the mornings,” she then said, “A mess that has a dog that needs to go for a walk.” 

“I can take him out if you want. You can stay in bed longer.”

“How about we go jogging together, and after we have breakfast somewhere outside?”

“You are as brilliant as you are beautiful.”

“Nah, I’m just me.”

“And I love you for it.”

“I love you, too.” She replied automatically. It came out so naturally, like she had been saying it for years and it simply filled her with joy.

Emily slowly wriggled herself out of his embrace, not really wanting to get up, but she knew Hugo would be looking for her by now and might cause a commotion upstairs. Looking at the bedside clock on the nightstand, it was 6:30 AM, so Pepper was probably awake. She wrinkled her nose as she stared at the clock.

Loki’s arm came to wrap around her waist and he popped his head from around her side, looking up at her. “What’s the face for?”

“Pepper might be awake.”

“And?”

“I’d be doing the walk of shame.”

Loki blinked and sat up, instant worry on his face. “Did I bring shame to you?”

“Oh God no!” Emily shook her head and turned to face him, taking his hands in hers. She smiled at him. “It’s just a figure of speech. Typically directed at women for some sexist reason. It’s when someone has to walk past either strangers or peers alone the morning after a sexual encounter and before reaching a place of privacy. In my case, my bedroom.”

“I don’t like that phrase at all. If it’s meant for people going alone, then I should come with you.”

“It’s totally fine, Loki.” She leaned in and kissed his lips. “I know Pepper wouldn’t think anything bad about it. And besides, I might be able to get her out of the way.” She grinned.

“How so?” Loki raised an eyebrow.

“FRIDAY.”

She got up and put her clothes back on, while Loki watched her every movement. Once done, she brushed her hair off her face and spoke. “FRIDAY, is Pepper awake?”

“She has just made herself coffee and is reading the newspaper at the dining table.”

“Okay, that’s not good.”

Loki nodded, but didn’t say anything, though a little smirk tugged at the corner of his lips as he watched her bite her lower lip in deep thought.

“Uhm, can you distract her somehow? Get her out of my way until I get to my room?”

“I can do that.” Emily loved it when the AI didn’t question things and simply played along.

“Okay, so, I’ll see you in a bit?” she turned Loki.

“I’ll come pick you up.”

“See you later then.” She grinned and hurried back upstairs.

Loki shook his head as he got out of the bed and went into the shower. Though Asgardian women also had their own precautious ways of not being detected in the morning if they were leaving a lover’s chambers, they didn’t have a name for it. He was glad they didn’t, for there was no shame in the act of sex and love making. As for Midgard, well, he was still learning about it and the lessons seemed to be endless.

Once he was showered and dressed in his training attire, he went upstairs like he had promised. Walking in, Pepper came out of the kitchen with a fresh cup of coffee and waved at him as she took a sip.

“Morning!”

“Good morning, Pepper. Is Emily.. awake?” He had no clue if Emily and FRIDAY’s distraction plan had worked.

“She was when she came back earlier.” Pepper gave him a knowing look and went to sit on the couch, pulling her legs up before she grabbed her tablet.

Loki chuckled nervously and walked further in and took a seat on an armchair. He fiddled with his fingers as he waited for Emily to come, which seemed to take ages.

Thankfully Hugo came to his rescue. The dog came to stand between his legs and wagged his tail excitedly. “Good morning, my friend.” Loki ruffled Hugo’s fur. At least he could occupy himself this way instead of an awkward silence, since he couldn’t know if Pepper had spoken to Emily or not. He didn’t think it would be wise to ask Pepper, just in case she hadn’t.

A few minutes later Emily joined them in the living room, dressed in her jogging attire, with Hugo’s leash at hand. “I’m ready..” she noticed Pepper was there and froze, before quickly correcting herself, “Good morning, Pep, Loki.”

“She knows.” Loki mouthed at her and Emily dropped her shoulders. So much for keeping things on the down low.

“Good morning to you too, missy.” Pepper grinned at her. Emily felt blush creeping up her neck and she tried to avoid eye contact with her cousin, which made Pepper giggle. “You don’t need to feel embarrassed, Em. You’re an adult and I’m not your parent. If you spent the night somewhere, it’s your business. As long as you’re careful.” She turned to Loki, “both of you.”

Emily smiled, she knew Pepper wouldn’t think bad of them, and her little speech now confirmed it. It was simply her own self consciousness that was poking at her.

“Besides, remember who I was married to.” Pepper chuckled, raising her cup of coffee in salutation, making Emily nod and chuckle as well.

Loki looked between the two, not able to see Stark’s relation here.

“So, let’s get going before this one here starts whining.” Emily pointed at Hugo, at which Loki stood up and they made their way to the elevator.

“Bring me some bagels on the way back?” Pepper called after them.

“Cream cheese and chives?” Emily responded.

“Yep.”

“Will do!”

-*-*-*-*-*-

Jogging was nice. They went to the dog park where Hugo could roam around without a leash and the two of them enjoyed each other’s company while jogging. This time Loki had his own music with him, so each were listening to their own playlist.

At some point they decided to take a break and sat down on a bench. Again, just like the last time, Emily was drenched in sweat while Loki seemed like he has just gotten out for a walk.

“This really is unfair, you know.” She stretched her legs over the bench and leaned against him.

“What is?”

“You barely break sweat and I’m drenching in it already.”

Loki chuckled. “It’s because I’m not putting any effort.”

“Like I said, not fair.”

He ran his fingers over her chin. “How about you join me at the gym tomorrow? You don’t have to do any training if you don’t want to. But at least you can witness that I can and do sweat as well.”

She grinned at the idea. “I’d like that, yeah.”

After she caught her breath for a bit, they continued jogging for another 20 minutes before stopping at a nearby bakery for breakfast and to get some bagels for Pepper, then they headed back to the tower.

They got scanned at the entrance, as per Happy’s new protocols. Loki noticed that today he hadn’t felt a gaze on him so far, which made him feel relieved. Though he wasn’t getting his hopes up. It could just be that whoever it was watching them was momentarily occupied. They could be back at another time of the day.

After another shower, Loki had to go to his office to get some work done. Emily had a day shift at the medical facility and they had agreed to meet up at the penthouse after work to go to the cemetery together.

Around noon, Emily was feeling a bit on edge. She hadn’t been to the cemetery for a while and every time it was hard for her. The loss sat heavily in her heart, never to have come to terms with it. Her only consolation today would be Loki’s presence. For the first time in the past seven years she would not be visiting her angel alone.

She had arranged for flowers to be delivered to the reception at the ground floor, so she would take them along on their way out. After she was done with work in the afternoon, she changed out of her scrubs and went back to the penthouse and started getting ready. Maybe after the cemetery they could grab a bite to eat somewhere. She chose a grey pair of jeans and a burgundy button up shirt, folding the sleeves to her elbows. After putting on some makeup and brushing her hair, she finally put on black sneakers and a dark grey modern blazer, also pulling the sleeves up her elbows. She looked at herself in the mirror and nodded. Good enough.

She then proceeded to gather the items she was taking with her. A lighter, a cemetery candle, tissues, disposable wet wipes, her favorite children’s book and put them in the bag she was taking with her. She’ll grab the flowers on the way out.

Once ready, she took a deep breath, adjusted her blazer, grabbed the bag and walked out.

A wide smile spread over her face upon seeing Loki talking to Pepper in the living room. He looked simply magnificent in the black jeans and grey button up shirt he was wearing. She walked over to them and stood behind an empty armchair.

“Oh there you are.” Pepper got up, went to one of the cupboards and opened a drawer and took out two cemetery candles and handed them to Emily. “Seems from now on you’ll be taking two candles from me. One for Tony.”

Emily put the candles into her bag and dropped it to the floor. She wrapped her arms tightly around Pepper, whose eyes were already tearing up. “Thanks, Pep. They’ll both be happy about it.”

“Yeah, I guess they would be.”

Loki and Emily were soon on their way. They made a quick stop at the reception desk to pick up the flowers Emily had ordered, only to be surprised that there were two bouquets waiting for them. Emily looked at Loki with a wondering smile as he picked both bouquets and thanked the receptionist.

“What?”

“You ordered flowers as well?”

“I heard it was customary to bring flowers.”

“That’s very thoughtful of you.” She gave him a warm smile and linked her arm with his as they headed towards the underground garage.

The 40 minute drive to the cemetery was uneventful. Emily drove in total silence and Loki, knowing how important and difficult this day must be for her, didn’t disturb the silence. He simply hand his hand over her thigh during the whole drive, silently lending her his support, for which she was grateful.

As they arrived at the parking lot. Emily turned off the engine and took off the seatbelt. Loki did the same before they both got out of the car. Loki grabbed the flowers from the back seat, while Emily grabbed her bag and they walked hand-in-hand through the rows of tombstones.

Loki marvelled at the sheer amount of them. Each tombstone different than the other. Some big, some small. Some had statues and some were plain and simple.

After walking a distance, they stopped in front of a fenced area. Emily opened the little gate and walked in, Loki following close behind. The graves here looked smaller, the small tombstones adorned with flowers, toys and balloons.

“This part is meant for the unborn children. Further down are the pets.” Emily explained upon seeing the curious look on Loki’s face. He simply nodded and held her hand tighter as she led him further through the rows.

Finally she came to stand in front of a small white tombstone. She dropped her bag to the ground and knelt in front of it. She reached out to touch the marble, running her fingers over the gold engraved lettering. It was beautiful, polished and smooth. It was not the most expensive in the catalogue, but it was the one she had chosen without hesitation. A little golden angel was engraved at the top. It was the only decorative element on the stone. Underneath was the name she had chosen for her unborn child, Celeste Green. Underneath was the date she had gotten her wings. There was no other text or engraving on the stone, for Emily did not deem it necessary.

Tears flooded her eyes and she sniffed, hand still on the stone. Loki lay the flowers on the ground and came to kneel next to her, silently wrapping an arm around her shoulders. She turned to look at him and buried her face into his chest and sobbed onto his shirt. Loki was holding her with both arms now, running gentle circles over her back. This wasn’t a time for verbal consolation. All he could do is hold her and let her cry until there were no more tears. He couldn’t even begin to imagine how she felt, even after so long since her miscarriage.

Her breathing was ragged. She gasped for air between sobs, grasping at Loki’s shirt while her tears soaked it. Loki felt his heart breaking for her and wrapped his arms tighter around her and gently kissed the top of her head.

After some time Emily managed to calm down. Her sobs had become silent gasps and her eyes drained of tears. “I’m sorry.” She pulled away and saw the wet spot on Loki’s shirt. “And I got your shirt all wet.”

“It does not matter.” He whispered, holding her face between his palms and wiped her cheeks with his thumbs. “You do not need to apologize, my love.”

She nodded, casting her eyes down. Loki then pulled her into a hug and placed a kiss over her temple. “I’m always there for you.”

They remained like that for a bit before they parted and Emily reached for her bag and took out tissues to wipe her nose. Loki brushed her hair off her face and waited until she was done.

She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “Oof, I guess I needed that.” She chuckled, though it wasn’t a happy one. “Okay, clean-up first.”

She took out the pack of wet tissues and started wiping the front of the tombstone. Loki grabbed a tissue as well and went to start cleaning up the back side of it. They removed the dried leaves, flowers and vines from around it, and took them to the green dumpster, and tossed the used wipes into a grey one.

When they returned, Emily grabbed one of the flower bouquets and took it apart. She arranged the flowers around and over the grave, and turned to Loki, who handed her the next bouquet and did the same. In the end the little grave turned into a flowery bed consisting of different types of colourful flowers.

She then took out the lighter and the candles, positioned them horizontally next to each other in front of the tombstone before she grabbed the lighter and lit them.

She sat on the ground cross-legged, facing the tombstone. Loki remained kneeling and turned to her. “Emily, is it alright if I said a prayer?”

“Of course. Feel free.” She smiled.

Loki straightened himself, placed both hands in a fist over his thighs and cast his eyes downwards. “Celeste and Tony Stark, I bid you take your place in the halls of Valhalla, where the brave shall live forever. Nor shall we mourn, but rejoice for those that have died the glorious death.”

He sighed and relaxed his shoulders, changing his position to also sit cross-legged next to Emily.

“That was beautiful. Thank you.”

“It’s a prayer meant for fallen warriors. Tony Stark was one. And I have a feeling if Celeste had had the chance to be born and grow up, seeing who her mother is, she would have become a warrior of her own kind. So I thought it fit.” His smile was kind and warm and he took her hand in his, bringing it to his lips and planting a soft kiss on the back of it.

“How are you so thoughtful?” she smiled at him and he shrugged, chuckling slightly. She leaned against his shoulder and looked at the stone before them. Loki wrapped an arm around her shoulder, gently holding her against him.

“Why Celeste?” he asked in a soft tone.

She sighed, remembering the day she had to come up with a name that fit. “At the time of the pregnancy we had not yet decided on a name, and after..” she cleared her throat, “I needed a name to go on the tombstone. So I searched for something meaningful. Celeste has a French origin and means ‘heavenly’. It’s also said to mean ‘the one born in heaven like an angel’, and that is why I chose it for her.” She wiped the tears off her cheeks. “She didn’t get to be born here, but instead she was born in heaven.”

“It’s a beautiful name.”

“It is.”

He turned his head to look at her and wiped her tears with his hand. “Why are you crying?”

“Memories.”

“Would you want to talk about it?”

She sighed and closed her eyes. “Not really, but.. if what we have now ever grows to become something more, then I guess you need to know about my past.”

“Only if you want me to know.” He took her hand in his. He couldn’t imagine anything about her past that would come between them. His need to know was sheer curiosity and nothing more. Her past, if not important to her, then it didn’t matter to him. She was there with him right then and there.

On the other hand, her knowing his own past terrified him. She knew partially about it, at least the parts concerning the Chitauri and Thanos. But she didn’t know about Laufey’s demise and more importantly how he had given Kurse direction in the dungeons, which led him and Malekith to his mother, Frigga. At that moment Loki wondered what Emily would think of him if he told her about it.

“So I was in a relationship. He was a decent guy working in graphic design. Met him on a night out with friends and we hit it off. Long story short, we fell in love, moved in together, the whole shabang. We weren’t planning on kids, even though we both wanted them, just not at that exact time. So we were careful. Then I accidentally got pregnant. We were worried, since we weren’t prepared and we were both young at the time, but we decided to keep it.. her.” She drew a shuddered breath and Loki kissed the top of her head to calm her. She absentmindedly ran her thumb over his hand that was holding hers. “I had my monthly check up at the OBGYN, that’s the gynaecologist, the doctor who specializes in women’s reproductive organs. And she did an ultrasound and.. and..” she started sobbing and Loki held her tightly, without interrupting her, “..there was no heartbeat. They couldn’t find a heartbeat. My baby was gone and I didn’t even get to see her.”

She buried her face onto his chest and cried with gut-wrenching sobs that tore through her chest. Loki couldn’t hold his own tears and he simply continued holding her in his arms.

They remained like that until she calmed down a bit, and continued, “They had to remove her surgically.”

“Emily, I can see how this is painful for you. You don’t have to continue.”

“No, it’s okay. You need to know.” She sat up and grabbed a tissue from her bag to clean her nose and wipe her eyes. “I had a date scheduled and everything. Went home and told him what happened. The bastard accused me of lying and that I had a regular abortion scheduled.” Her hands trembled in anger over her lap. “He accused me of killing her because I hadn’t shown any symptoms of miscarriage. Any idiot would know you sometimes don’t show signs until after! There are books written about that!” she sounded irritated. She realized it and took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “He wouldn’t listen to reason and wouldn’t want to get the doctor’s confirmation. Even Tony and Pepper tried to explain to him, but his head was so far up his ass that I’ve had had it and broke it off. I moved in with Pepper and Tony immediately after. Pepper came with me to the hospital for the surgery and took care of me after. Later I was informed that Celeste had died because of undetected birth defects.” She snorted, “now I’m wondering if my Frost Giant genes had something to do with it.”

“You are a shining example that Jotunn genes are compatible with Midgardian ones, so no, your genes had nothing to do with it.” He stroked her hair. “She was simply meant to be born in heaven.” He added softly and Emily nodded.

“I’d like to think that.”

“She was as stubborn as her mother, and was determined to be born in heaven, no matter the cost.”

Emily had to giggle at that, which made Loki smile. “At least she got my good trait.”

“I doubt you have any bad traits.”

“I’m human, of course I do.”

“Then you’re in good company. I have a lot of those.” 

“I highly doubt that.”

“God of Mischief here.”

“Mischief does not have to be bad.”

“Ask Thor.”

“I might.”

“I love you.”

Emily’s smile spread ear to ear and her heart fluttered. “I love you, too, God of Mischief.” They leaned in towards each other and kissed. Then Emily took out her favorite childhood book and put it over her lap. “I read this to her during every visit. My mother used to read it for me.”

She opened the old book and started reading. Loki listened to the story with a soft smile on his face. He remembered the days when his mother used to read for him. The memory brought bittersweet warmth to his heart. He missed his mother, and he will never forgive himself for her passing.

His attention went back to Emily, who kept on reading as if her child was sitting in her lap and listening. He liked to think so. He believed that the spirits came to visit sometimes, and he hoped that Celeste’s spirit was there with them at that moment.

Once Emily was finished, she closed the book and carefully put it back into her bag. She leaned her elbows on her thighs and turned to look at Loki with a warm smile on her face. “You know, for the past seven years this is the first time I’m not here alone.”

“I would have thought that Pepper would have accompanied you at some point.”

She shook her head. “She wants to, every year. But I prefer to be alone. So she comes at other times. The only time we were here together was at the funeral. It was just us and Tony.”

“I’m honoured to have been allowed to accompany you, then.” And he really was honoured. He saw how agonizingly difficult it was for her to relive what had happened to her, how painful the memory was. He felt privileged to have had the opportunity to comfort her, to listen to her story, to be there for her, to be with her.

After a moment of silence, Emily sighed. “I think it’s time to go.”

“We could stay longer if you prefer, I don’t mind.”

“No, it’s okay. Let’s go get some dinner.”

It was getting darker and the lamps at the cemetery had started lighting up. They both stood up and cleaned their surrounding area and gathered their stuff in Emily’s bag. Emily kissed her palm and placed it over the tombstone. “See you next time, baby girl.” She whispered before she took Loki’s hand and they walked back to the car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you or your loved one(s) ever had to go through a miscarriage, my sincerest apologies if this chapter was offensive in any way. I've never gone through it myself, so I will never know how it feels.
> 
> That being said, I did do some research concerning miscarriages and death certificates before writing this chapter. I stupidly didn't save the pages I found the information on. I'll try to find it again. When I do, I'll post it here. 
> 
> On another note: [Emily's outfit](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/e6/81/1c/e6811c57dee9be4079688557b2b2573c.jpg) (different bag and sneakers, obviously) and here's [Loki's outfit](https://external-preview.redd.it/VCPOt8HKQmAy3yuaqgE40hwxYT5DEf-DfRMSCkdlgPM.jpg?auto=webp&s=0b9b341c33024957315c98170fca0f744a4029e7), though he would have the shirt tucked in.


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Made a mood board/banner for the story, which I'll slowly be adding it to all existing chapters. I'd appreciate your thoughts about it.

After having dinner at a nearby diner, Loki and Emily went back to the tower and decided they’d take Hugo for his evening walk together before calling it a night.

They walked out of the elevator holding hands and giggling, but they froze the moment they saw the two men sitting in the living room and talking to Thor and Pepper, who both looked alarmed when they saw them come into view and Hugo coming to greet his human.

Loki swallowed and cleared his throat, holding Emily’s hand tighter and straightened his shoulders. Emily knew it was a just facade and squeezed his trembling hand in recognition and support.

They walked further inside until they were visible to the two guests as well.

“Captain.” Loki was trying hard to keep his calm facade, though inwardly he was screaming bloody murder as his heart pounded against his chest. He hadn’t expected to see the man, not yet and not this way at least. He made a mental note to stab Thor into oblivion at a later point for not alerting him.

Steve Rogers and the younger man next to him stood up slowly and took a couple of steps towards him. Loki raised his chin, expecting.. well, he didn’t know what he was expecting, especially with Thor and Pepper in the room. To his utter shock, the aged captain reached his hand out to him. “Loki, didn’t know you were here.” He looked at both Pepper and Thor, raising an eyebrow at them for keeping this kind of news from him, then turned back to Loki, “Good to see you alive and well, I guess.”

Loki looked at the offered hand and then at the old man that resembled the captain. He hesitated for a moment, but then he reached out and shook the old captain’s hand. “I don’t understand. Good to see me alive and well? Aren’t we supposed to be enemies?”

Steve chuckled. “Years ago, yes. Then Thor explained to us that you were compromised. And knowing what that does to a man,” he turned to the younger one accompanying him and back to Loki, “I cannot with good conscious hold you totally accountable for the attack.”

“I see.”

“And this is my best friend, James Barnes. Also known as The Winter Soldier.”

Steve stepped aside as Bucky took a step forward and offered his hand to Loki. “People call me Bucky.”

“Loki,” Loki shook the offered hand, his eyes noticing the metal arm on the man’s other side.

“Bucky has first hand experience at being mind controlled, which is what helped me understand the times Thor defended you.” Steve went back to sit down, Bucky following suit.

“I see.” He couldn’t stay there anymore. Despite what the captain had just told him, his chest was starting to hurt and he could feel an anxiety attack building up. He needed to leave before it happened.

Hugo came to stand at Loki’s side, wagging his tail slowly and keeping very close to the God’s legs. “Well, I’m afraid we have to leave again. We only came to take Hugo out for his evening walk.” He turned to Emily, “Shall we go?”

“Yeah.” Emily was silent the whole time, keeping a tight hold on Loki’s hand and she could feel it shaking in her grasp. She smiled at Steve and Bucky before her and Loki turned to leave. After grabbing Hugo’s leash from the hanger, Loki headed to the staircase instead of the elevator. Emily didn’t say anything and simply walked with him.

Once they entered the Avengers level, Loki let go of her hand and dropped to his knees, clutching at his chest and panting heavily.

“Oh my God, Loki!” Emily dropped to his side, her hands over his shoulders. Hugo came to sit next to them, very close to Loki, ready to jump in when his human would ask him to. “Breathe with me. Inhale, hold it in, exhale. You’re doing great. Again. Inhale..” while worried for him, she guided him through the breathing exercise, giving him words of encouragement until he finally managed to calm down. He took a deep breath before he was tightly wrapped in her arms.

“I’m so sorry, if I had known he would be there, we wouldn’t have gone up there.”

“It’s not your fault.” Loki held her just as tight. “Nobody informed us.”

“Speaking of,” she let go of him and turned to one of the sensors, “FRIDAY, why weren’t we informed Steve and Bucky were upstairs.”

“I have sent you a text 30 minutes ago. I assumed you were informed.”

“Can’t be. My phone was on me all day.” She took her phone out of her pocket and sighed, dropping her gaze to the floor. “Empty battery. Loki, I’m so sorry!” she looked at him with a worried look on her face.

Loki simply smiled and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “It’s alright, love. Let’s not dwell on it and go for the walk like we intended to.”

“You sure? I could ask Happy to do it.”

“No, I think some fresh air will do us good.”

Despite having just come back from being out for hours, he still needed to get out. If not for fresh air, then for some distraction from the fact that an Avenger was sitting exactly one floor above them.

“Alright, but first I need to put my phone to charge. I want to see FRIDAY’s message before I go on the offensive.”

“There will be no need for an offensive, as you call it. If my mind wasn’t in a fragile state, being confronted with any of the Avengers wouldn’t have been an issue. Well, Banner excluded, of course, for obvious reasons.” He chuckled nervously.

Despite being on good terms with the scientist, Loki still couldn’t shake off the fear of one day the Hulk taking over and having a field day with him. He simply hoped if that ever happened, it would be at a time he would have his magic back so he could at least protect those around him. And now that the shock of seeing the captain was subsiding, Loki was curious at the very calm reaction he had received. He wondered if it was due to his age, or did he think he was the Loki that had escaped captivity from that one timeline Thor and Carol had told him about, where the captain and Stark had gone to to retrieve the Tesseract.

“My charger is in my bedroom, by the way. Better charge your phone there, so Thor wouldn’t get too curious.” He grinned.

“Didn’t know he was that type.” Emily chuckled as she helped Loki to his feet.

“Oh he is, trust me. I can’t even count the amount of times he had gotten himself into trouble because of it. Though guess who always got blamed for it.”

“That’s horrible!”

“It is what it is.” He opened the bedroom door and let her in first. “It’s at the desk, by the way.”

Emily connected her phone to the charger and waited a few seconds before turning the phone on. She then opened FRIDAY’s message, sighed and put the phone down to continue charging.

“Okay, I can’t be angry at them now. Message was sent in time, and says Steve and Bucky are here and we should be careful.”

She looked quite disappointed at the notion of not having an excuse to lash out at someone, though Loki was glad for it. The message had come through FRIDAY, which meant it was either initiated by FRIDAY or Pepper had asked for the message to be sent. Loki didn’t want Emily having an argument with her cousin, because he knew it would only break her heart. But he was deeply moved that she had even considered it without giving it a second thought.

“Now let’s go take that old bugger to his walk before he starts mutilating your home.”

Before they would leave the room, Loki pulled her into a kiss that left her breathless.

“What was that for?” she looked up at him, grinning.

“You’re amazing. And I simply felt like it.” He shrugged.

They finally left the tower, with Hugo tagging along at their side. While it was dark outside, the park was nicely illuminated with rows of lamps. There were still people walking along the paths, some with their pets, some with partners. The two of them walked into the park holding hands, walking in total silence and observing their surroundings. Loki absentmindedly ran his thumb against her skin, simply enjoying the touch. Never in his life would he have ever imagined he would end up here, on Midgard, head over heels in love with a mortal.

The evening breeze brushed over them as they reached the playground. Emily unleashed Hugo, who went on running around without a care in the world. They continued walking, still holding hands, until they reached an empty bench and sat down. Loki wrapped an arm around Emily’s shoulders and she leaned against him, while they both watched Hugo run around on his own, completely ignoring anyone else in his path. Despite his age, he still had quite some energy in him.

“You know, despite everything, today has been lovely.” Emily spoke softly.

“It was indeed. I’m honoured to have been allowed to share it with you.” He leaned his head against hers.

As they sat there watching Hugo, Loki felt a familiar sense creeping up the back of his neck. They were being watched again. He slowly inclined his head, nuzzling Emily’s cheek until his lips reached her ear. “Don’t move or turn around. We’re being watched again.”

A soft gasp escaped her lips as her heartbeat sped up. She reached for Loki’s hand and held on tightly.

“It’s alright, I’m with you.” He whispered, kissing her below the ear.

“Loki, I’m scared.”

“I will not let anything happen to you. Let’s go home.”

They stood up, and Emily called for Hugo, who came running to them. She knelt before him and ruffled his fur. But before she could put his leash on, something seemed to catch his attention and Hugo darted past Emily and jumped over the bench, barking in the process.

“Hugo! Hugo come back!” She stood up and called after him.

“I’ll go after him, you stay here under a lamp, make sure there are people around you.” Loki ran in the direction Hugo had disappeared into, calling after the dog. He didn’t have to go far, as Hugo came running back to him, still barking. Loki crouched beside him and held on to his collar. “What is it, my friend? What did you see?”

Hugo looked at the direction he came from, standing tall in an aggressive stance, with his weight forward and his ears up. His tail was rigid and he held it out from his body. He bared his teeth and growled at something or someone.

Looked at the direction Hugo was directing his anger, but he couldn’t see anyone. “Alright, let’s get back to Emily. She’s worried and alone.” He got up and tugged at Hugo’s collar, beckoning him to follow. Hugo let out one last warning bark and followed Loki.

As soon as they reached the playground, Emily came running to them and knelt before Hugo and hugged him. “You stupid dog, you had me worried!”

Loki reached for the leash and put it on the collar. “He saw something. He was quite stiff and growling a moment ago.”

Emily stood up and stared at Loki, her heart aggressively thumping against her chest. Feeling like you’re being watched was creepy enough. Now that Hugo basically confirmed that there was someone close enough to them that the dog saw them, made it even creepier and downright terrifying.

Loki held on to the leash and took Emily under his arm as they walked back to the tower. She had her arm around his waist, basically pressing herself against his side. She hasn’t felt this scared ever before and was hoping they would safely reach the tower.

Loki kept whispering soothing words to her all the way, trying to ease her worries. It didn’t seem to be working, though. She simply grabbed the side of his shirt tighter and he could feel her body shaking against his.

Once at the tower, having gotten scanned at the entrance and gotten into the elevator, Emily could finally breathe freely. Loki took her into his arms and held her tightly as she hid her face against his chest.

“We’re almost there, love.” He whispered, gently stroking her hair.

The elevator reached the penthouse and when the doors opened, Steve and Bucky were standing on the other side saying goodbyes to Thor and Pepper. Upon seeing Emily’s shaking form in Loki’s embrace, they all stopped talking and looked at them, concern instantly on all four faces.

“We’re here now.” Loki spoke to her in a soft tone and walked her out of the elevator. Everyone stepped aside to give them space and he took her to the living room and had her sit down on the couch and he sat next to her, once again wrapping his arms around her.

Pepper came to kneel before Emily, laying a hand on her cousin’s knee. “Em, is everything okay?”

“We were being watched again. Hugo went after them and that scared her.”

“Did you see who it was?” Steve asked.

“Unfortunately, no. It was too dark to be able to see.”

“Can I have some water?” Emily asked in a shaky voice.

“Sure honey, I’ll get you some.” Pepper got up and rushed to the kitchen.

“I’ll have Sam come over. Maybe Redwing can detect something. I’ll go check the area until he gets here.” Bucky offered.

“We were at the dog park.” Loki said. Bucky nodded and headed to the elevator as he took out his phone.

“I’ll go with him.” Thor summoned Mjolnir and Stormbreaker and followed Bucky into the elevator.

Loki couldn’t even bother wondering who Sam and Redwing were. His focus now was Emily, who despite the shaking, had kept a brave facade all the way back to the tower and only let go of it once they were safely in the elevator.

Pepper came back with a glass of water and sat next to Emily. “There you go.”

Loki let go of her so she could drink the water, after which he took the glass from her and set it on the coffee table. She then leaned her head against his shoulder. Hugo was watching from the side. His human was being taken care of, but he was eager to come to her side. His job was to help when no one else was there to do so, but now there were the other humans with her.

Loki heard a small whimper coming from Hugo. When he looked at him, the dog wagged his tail, took a step forward then another to the back. He wanted to be with his human, but too many people were around her.

“Come here, boy.” Loki tapped at his thigh like he had seen Emily do in the past. Hugo eagerly came over and before Loki could give him space, Hugo climbed the couch and walked over Loki’s lap and sat himself over the both of them, making everyone grin at the sight.

“You big baby.” Emily mumbled and scratched behind his ears. Then she leaned forward and hugged him, kissing the top of his head, just above his scar. “My big baby.”

Pepper got up to sit down across from Loki and Emily. Steve went to sit at her side and was looking at them in a calculating manner, as if trying to figure something out. He watched how Loki had his arm around Emily’s shoulders, keeping her close. The way he leaned his body towards her and whispered things into her ear, while he rubbed her arm in a soothing manner. All small indications that he cared deeply for her. He turned to Pepper and leaned into her direction. Pepper did the same. “Are they..”

Pepper nodded, a gentle smile forming on her face. “It’s pretty recent. Though they’ve been friends since he woke up from the coma.” While they were out walking Hugo, Pepper and Thor had already filled Steve and Bucky in about Loki and how he had ended up there.

“I feel like we don’t know anything about him.”

“Not at all. He’s a totally different person than the one you have met before.”

“Not totally different.” They turned to see Loki looking at them. Apparently he had heard them whispering. “Only not hell bent on concurring your realm.” He smirked when he got a soft nudge at his side.

Pepper couldn’t help but roll her eyes at him and he grinned, which earned him another nudge and when he turned to the source, Emily frowned at him. He leaned in and kissed the crease between her eyebrows. “I wouldn’t dream of it.” He said softly and turned to Steve. “Why would I want to concur a realm I’ve come to call home, captain?”

“People can have many reasons.”

“Rest assured, captain, I do not have any desire to concur your realm or any other. I was brought here unknowingly by your fellow Avenger. I was treated with such kindness and respect that I haven’t even received on Asgard.” He gently squeezed at Emily’s arm as he turned to look at her with a loving smile on his face. Then he turned to look at Steve in all seriousness. “So, no, captain Rogers, I do not wish to inflict harm on those people and if I could, I will defend them any way I can.”

Steve saw the way Loki looked at Emily. That alone was proof enough for him that Loki was being sincere, for he had recognized the bond the two apparently shared. It was the same way he would look at Peggy when they were together and you cannot fake that even if you tried. He sat back and smiled. “I believe you. I don’t know why, but I do.”

“Thank you,” Loki smiled back.

Hugo whimpered and raised his head, perking his ears up and looked at the direction of the corridor.

“What is it, buddy?” Emily scratched the back of his ears. Hugo simply kept looking at that direction and bared his teeth as he hopped off their laps and stood all alert and stiff, letting out a low growl.

“Morgan..” Pepper gasped and as she stood up, Loki got up and ran before her, reaching Morgan’s room first. He lay his ear at the door, but there was no sound. He held a hand towards Pepper to not make a sound and slowly opened the door.

The room was illuminated with the little table lamp at Morgan’s bedside. Loki carefully observed the room before he pushed the door further open. It seemed to be empty, save for little Morgan sleeping in her bed, cuddling her favorite Iron Man plush. Loki smiled at the sight and poked his head out of the door, beckoning Pepper to go in. While she rushed to her daughter, Loki searched the room, going into the closet, checking her toy boxes. The windows did not open, so there was no need to look outside, but he still checked behind the curtains and found nothing. Once they were convinced there was no one there, they left the room and closed the door.

“FRIDAY, extra security on Morgan’s room.” Pepper said, rubbing her hand over an arm to calm her nerves. “And did your scans catch anything unusual?”

“No boss. Everything is within the norm. Security measures on Morgan’s room upgraded.”

“Okay, this is weird. Hugo never growls like that when he’s up here.”

“Pep, is Morgan ok?” Emily and Steve were standing at the end of the hallway. Hugo still looking alert at Emily’s side.

“Yes, she’s asleep. Loki checked the room and there’s nothing unusual.”

“Pepper, really consider my suggestion, will you?” Steve said as they all went back to the living room.

“I can’t just up and leave the company, Steve.”

“What suggestion?”

“Steve suggested earlier that we move to the compound for a while, until we figure out who’s watching us closely.”

“Pep, you said you felt it at the lake house as well. Maybe this isn’t such a bad idea?”

“Emily is correct. It might be safer for you and Morgan. I’d suggest Emily join you as well.”

“If anything, all of us should move there.” Emily crossed her arms and leaned back on the couch.

“You know I cannot go there.”

“Why not?” Steve looked at him with curiosity.

“First of all, the Avengers. Second of all.. well, no, that’s it.” Loki shrugged. He didn’t want to reveal that if he came face to face with more of the Avengers he might get a cardiac arrest. Though technically, he didn’t know any of the new Avengers, but if things on Midgard were the same as on Asgard, meaning that people formed opinions according to the opinions of others, he would definitely be treading a hostile environment at the compound. The only one of those he had fought who hasn’t seen him yet was Hawkeye, and Loki was _definitely_ not looking forward to that confrontation.

“I’m sure we can arrange something.” Steve offered, but Loki was persistent.

“Well, if you’re not going, I’m not going either.”

“No, we’re not doing that.” Loki didn’t like the idea of Emily staying at the tower while it was obviously becoming more dangerous. “Wherever Pepper goes, you go with her.” He looked at Pepper, silently pleading for support.

“Loki’s right. If I decide to move to the compound, I want you with us. And it’s a big if.” Pepper looked at Steve, who sighed and nodded.

“Doctor Banner will be arriving in 1 minute. He’s accompanied by Thor, sergeant Barnes and Sam Wilson.” FRIDAY spoke. All of them except for Steve knew that the announcement was meant for Loki, given that Bruce was coming.

“Thank you FRIDAY.” Pepper got up and went to the kitchen.

“Haven’t seen Bruce for a while.” Steve smiled.

The elevator opened and Emily discretely held Loki’s hand. No matter how many times he had been around Bruce, he still sometimes flinched upon seeing him. He looked at her with adoration, silently thanking her for her support.

“Hey guys, hope you don’t mind a late night visitor.” Bruce announced himself, Thor having told him Loki was at the penthouse.

Once Loki heard Bruce’s voice, he managed to relax his shoulders. The notion didn’t go unnoticed to Steve, but he didn’t comment on it. Instead, he stood up and spread his arms as he saw Bruce approaching him.

“Good to see you, man.”

“Hey Cap, long time no see.” Bruce gave Stave a quick hug, then turned to Loki and Emily, who were sitting very close to each other. “That’s new.” He pointed at them and took a seat across from them.

“Seriously, Bruce?” Emily chuckled.

“What? Haven’t been around for a couple of weeks and I miss stuff, apparently.”

“Loki, this is Sam Wilson, the Falcon.” Steve said as Sam walked in.

Loki stood up and shook Sam’s hand, introducing himself. “I’ve heard about you. You’re not planning another invasion, are you?” Sam smirked.

“Not at the moment.” Loki returned the smirk, he might like this one. He’ll have to wait and see.

“Good, I’m kinda tired of fighting evil and shit. I was supposed to be on vacation.” Sam took a seat at the end of the couch, Bucky settled himself on an armchair.

Pepper came back with drinks for everyone and set them on the coffee table. “Everyone, help yourself. There’s more in the kitchen, or if you want something strong, you know where the bar is.”

As everyone helped themselves to a drink, they started discussing the search at the park. Without even realizing it, this had turned into an Avengers plus Loki and Emily meeting.


	38. Chapter 38

Thor, Bucky and Sam had searched the park for anything unusual and came with nothing. Sam had even used Redwing to scan the area, and that also delivered nothing out of the norm. After deciding it was time to go back, they had met up with Bruce who was returning from a work related trip and upon hearing about what happened he joined them on the way to the penthouse.

Pepper had offered Steve, Bucky and Sam to spend the night instead of heading back to the compound. At first they had declined, but later they decided maybe it would be wise to stay the night, if only for the sake of extra protection, given the alarming situation earlier.

After a lengthy discussion about what had been going on and all the precautious measures they needed to take (in addition to Happy’s new protocols) everyone slowly started heading to their quarters. Steve decided to give up his room to Bucky and he was to take Natasha’s room. Sam would sleep in one of the guests rooms on the Avengers floor and Thor had his own room. Bruce headed to his lab to finish up some work before he would head to his own room on one of the separate floors. Tony had designed a whole floor just for him, given his size and need for seclusion.

After everyone was gone, Loki and Emily were left alone in the living room, with Hugo sleeping in his bed at the corner.

Emily leaned against Loki’s shoulder and sighed. He placed a hand over her thigh and leaned his head against hers.

“What a day..”

“Indeed.”

“I should probably go to bed, too.”

“I believe so. You do need some rest, my love.”

Emily smiled. She liked being called that. “I’ll see you tomorrow then? Breakfast?” she stood up, he did as well.

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world.” He took her hand and walked her to her room. “Have a good night, my love. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Good night, Loki.” She gently pulled him down in a kiss, which made him weak in the knees.

After they parted, Loki went downstairs to his room, changed into sweatpants and a t-shirt and came back to the living room. He was in no condition to sleep just yet, if at all. His mind was buzzing with worry and concern. What if something happened and he was too late to react? Despite feeling the exhaustion from the eventful day, he simply couldn’t sleep.

As he walked into the living room, he found the old captain taking a seat on the couch with a sigh.

“I thought old people needed to sleep.”

“Not those who end up in the bedroom of their fallen friend, it seems.” Steve had a sad smile grace his features. While he had volunteered to sleep in Natasha’s room, he hadn’t expected to not be able to sleep because of the memories it evoked.

“Drinks?” Loki walked over to the bar, grabbing a bottle of scotch.

“Please.”

He poured the liquid in two glasses and walked over to the captain, handing him one and sitting across from him.

Steve raised his glass to Loki and took a sip, before he leaned back on the couch. “So, since you’re not haunted by memories of a fallen friend, what keeps you awake?”

“Everything else.” Loki replied before he could stop himself. Steve simply nodded.

They remained silent for a while, neither feeling the need to fill it with words. Loki was absentmindedly staring at a random spot on the floor, his mind trying to work out everything that happened. His relationship with Emily, their visit to the cemetery, her breakdown, then the walk at the park, Hugo growling at the tower, them fearing Morgan was in danger. A day that they thought was going to be limited to the memory of Emily’s unborn child had ended up being more than that.

Chaos seemed to be determined to follow him everywhere.

“So Pepper mentioned Carol was the one to bring you here.” Steve finally decided to break the silence.

“That is true.”

“Has SHIELD been here already?”

“Not to my knowledge. If they had, Pepper must have dealt with them.”

“She’s really good at dealing with them.” Steve chuckled and Loki had to smile. Pepper was good at many things, one of them being dealing with Fury and SHIELD and showing them their rightful place, which was outside the tower and their lives. Loki admired her for it.

-*-*-*-*-*-

It was almost dawn when Loki had finally gone to bed, Steve having gone to his -or Natasha’s- room earlier in the night. He lay down trying to fall asleep and after tossing and turning for about an hour, he finally managed to fall into slumber.

It was almost noon when he woke up. He felt a bit dishevelled, so he simply turned around and tried to catch a few more minutes. It wasn’t like he had any work to do and Morgan’s tutoring hour was only later in the afternoon.

As soon as he was about to drift into sleep again, he heard a soft knock on the door and decided to ignore it. The knock was repeated again. “Go away, Thor. I’m sleeping.” He said, pulling the blanket over his head.

The door opened and closed, and he could hear soft footsteps approaching. He could recognize those anywhere and any time. His mattress dipped on the side and the blanket was pulled off his face. He met his intruder with a grunt, not opening his eyes.

“Good morning to you too, Grumpy Smurf. You missed breakfast.”

He finally opened his eyes and was greeted with the one face he wished to wake up to for the rest of his life.

Emily smiled at him and stroked his hair, removing it from his face. “It’s almost noon and you’re still in bed. That’s not like you at all. You’re not sick, are you?” she placed the back of her palm over his forehead then cheek, he was as cool as ever, ruling out a fever. Did Frost Giants even catch a fever?

“I slept later than usual. My apologies for missing breakfast.” He said, turning his head to kiss the hand on his cheek.

“Feel like getting up? I’m on my lunch break.” 

“Mhmm, maybe if I can be persuaded.” He closed his eyes and snuggled tightly under the blanket.

Emily giggled and leaned down, planting soft kisses over his lips. “Would this be acceptable?”

He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her over him, causing her to yelp and giggle as she lay on top of him with her legs hanging at the side of the bed. “Much better.” He mumbled and held her tight to his chest.

She kicked her shoes off and pulled herself further up, so she was laying flat on top of him, with her legs between his. She crossed her arms over his chest and lay her chin over them. “So how long do you think we can stay like this?”

“Eternity.”

“Sorry to disappoint, but I have to go to work in an hour.”

“Technicalities.”

“What about tutoring hour?”

“There’s still time.”

“You have an answer to everything, don’t you?”

“I do.”

She giggled against his chest and he tightened his arms around her. “Are the Avengers gone?”

“No, they’re staying the whole day, taking care of some security related things with Pepper and Happy.”

“I see.”

“Would you like to have lunch with me?”

“Mhmm, in a moment.”

Emily uncrossed her arms and pushed herself up and captured his lips once again in a gentle kiss. Loki sighed as their lips touched and ran his hands over her body, down to her buttocks and squeezed them, which made Emily let out a soft moan before she broke the kiss.

“As much as I like where this is going, I still need to eat and get back to work.”

Loki groaned and opened his eyes. “For this once, you win.” He raised his head and stole another kiss. “I’ll take a quick shower and join you for lunch.”

“I’ll wait for you, then.”

Emily went to the living room to wait for Loki while he showered. Bucky was sitting there when she arrived.

“Hey Bucky.” She sat across from him.

“Hey.”

“Had lunch yet?”

“I don’t really do lunch.”

“What? How come?”

He shrugged and smiled a little. “Never thought of it.”

If she didn’t know better, she would have thought he was being shy. He simply was an introvert who kept to himself and his little group of friends most of the time.

“Okay, I’ve got enough food to feed an army. How about you join us, then?”

“Us?”

“Loki and I.”

He gave it a thought for a moment. Technically he was taking a break from all the security talks. It wouldn’t hurt to grab something to eat, so why not? “Okay, sure, if I wouldn’t be intruding.”

“Not at all.” She grinned and got up to set the table.

“Need help there?”

“Nah, I’m good. Thanks. But you can already come sit, Loki should be done soon.”

Bucky came to sit at the table and waited. Emily walked over to the kitchen and grabbed 3 plates and enough utensils and brought them over. After setting them up, she started unpacking the lunch she had brought from the cafeteria. The chef had been pretty generous with the portions, which was good, since now there were three people to feed instead of two.

While she was taking the food out of the bags, slender arms wrapped around her waist. The woodsy scent of his shampoo tipped her on who it was and the soft kiss at the side of her neck confirmed it. She grinned and turned around in his arms. “Good morning,” Loki leaned in and captured her lips in a gentle kiss.

“Good morning, sleepyhead.” She nuzzled his chin. “I hope you don’t mind having a guest to our lunch.”

“Not at all.” He looked at Bucky. “Good morning.. or is it afternoon already?”

Bucky looked at his watch. “Missed morning by a minute.” He smirked at Loki, who shrugged.

“Good afternoon, then.”

“Hello.”

“I’ll grab us some drinks.” Emily headed to the kitchen again and came back with some beverages.

They ate in silence. The only sounds to be heard were those of the utensils hitting the plates, or the glasses being picked up or put down on the table. Emily found the silence to be awkward, as she wasn’t really used to it. Someone always had something to say no matter where she was eating.

“So, how are the security talks going?” She decided to break the silence.

“No clue. I’m more the spy and eliminate kind. Security is Sam’s forte.” Bucky shrugged.

Emily chuckled. Spy and eliminate didn’t sound any better than spy-assassin, but she could appreciate Bucky’s effort in mellowing it down, probably for her sake.

“Spy and eliminate?” Now Loki was curious.

“He’s a former spy-assassin.” Emily tried to explain.

“Everyone keeps saying former, even though I am still active. Only on the other side of things.”

“Well you know what I mean.” She grinned at him.

“Why do I have a feeling there’s a story here?” Loki raised an eyebrow.

“Oh you have no idea.” Bucky chuckled. “I’m surprised no one has told you yet.”

While Bucky wasn’t the talkative kind, when you got him to talk, he didn’t stop until he had said everything he wanted to say. And in this case, he was telling Loki how he came to be the Winter Soldier and fought half of the Avengers, while the other half tried to help him.

“What was the reason the Avengers were divided about you?”

“The Winter Soldier killed Tony’s parents.”

Loki choked at that and Emily handed him his glass to take a sip. “I beg your pardon?”

“Like I said, my alter ego killed Tony’s parents. Steve and his group defended me, the others sided with Tony. We had a fight, the Avengers got disbanded. Though it had more to do with the Sokovia Accords at the time than me. But I guess I was the last drop in an already full bucket.” Bucky shrugged again.

“And yet you all still fought side-by-side against Thanos. Impressive.” 

“The needs of many outweighs the needs of the few.”

“I can’t believe you just quoted Spock.” Emily was surprised, to say the least.

“I blame Sam.” Bucky chuckled.

“Spock?” Loki turned to her.

“He’s a character in this show called Star Trek. We should totally watch it some time.”

“Alright.” Loki smiled at Emily. He loved experiencing Midgardian culture through her eyes.

Bucky smiled at the way the two of them looked at each other. It was heart-warming and quite a nice change of view from the frowning, serious faces he had to deal with on a daily basis.

They finished eating and both Loki and Bucky helped Emily clean the table. Bucky decided to go check up on how far Sam and Steve were and whether they needed help. He thanked them both for the lunch and the pleasant company and was about to get to the staircase when Loki stopped him.

“Sergeant Barnes, a word, if you may?”

“You can call me Bucky.” He smiled.

“Bucky,” Loki smiled back. “I’ll be training later in the afternoon, and I was wondering if you would be interested in sparring?”

Bucky didn’t have to give it a second thought. One didn’t get to spar with an alien God every day and it would be interesting to see how his fighting style is compared to that of his brother. “Sure.”

“Brilliant. Thank you.”

“I’ll see you later.” Bucky gave them a nod and went upstairs to join the others.

“Sparring with the Winter Soldier.” Emily wrapped her arms around Loki’s waist. “Look at you making friends with yet another Avenger.”

“Not making friends. Just acquainting myself with them. I even had a little talk with the captain last night.” He raised his eyebrows and nodded.

“I’m honestly surprised, but at the same time very happy for you.” She grinned for a moment and then her face softened to a smile. “After the anxiety attack yesterday, I was worried you’d be on edge the whole day today because of them being here.”

“I was merely unprepared yesterday. But all three of them seem to be decent people.”

“They are. I think once you get to know them better, you might end up becoming friends or something.”

“Right now there’s only one person I’m interested in getting to know better.” A sly grin formed on his face and he picked her up, earning him a yelp, which he silenced by pressing his lips against hers and taking her to his bedroom. She still had some time before she needed to be back at work, right? He was going to utilize that time properly.


	39. Chapter 39

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki and Bucky train together.

Tutoring Morgan was always a special occasion. Loki used her school assignments as a starting point and ventured off from there, teaching her things one wouldn’t be learning at school. He made sure whatever he taught her was child friendly and wouldn’t cause any household damages that would potentially hurt her. He even started teaching her simple self-defence techniques, things she can do to protect herself, though he explained it as a dance instead of it being a fighting technique, simply because a 5 year old’s brain picked up fun faster than anything else.

After they were done, Morgan was hugging him and basically clinging to him and not wanting to let go. So he offered her an alternative. She gets to sit on his shoulders and he walks her to the kitchen for a popsicle, and then he would have to go.

A bribe always worked wonders.

So he put her over his shoulders, held her legs and she grabbed his hair and they went to the kitchen. Steve saw them walk through the living room and into the kitchen and turned to Pepper with a raised eyebrow.

“I mean, you told me he’s a different man and I could see it, but I did not expect that.” He smiled.

“None of us did. She basically worships him.” Pepper smiled fondly when she saw Loki and Morgan come back from the kitchen, both with a popsicle in hand and disappeared into the hallway again.

A few minutes later Loki comes to the living room, alone.

“We’re done for today. I’ll go get some training done.”

“Dinner here.” Pepper said. She didn’t have to ask or invite anymore. Dining together with him and Thor was a given by now.

“Definitely.” He smiled and looked at Steve, nodding at him. “Captain.”

“Loki.” Steve nodded back, smile still in place.

Loki then took his leave and went to change into his gym clothes. He decided on leggings, since they gave him better movement and a matching top. He should probably send Mark and Pamela a thank you present for their enormous help in choosing his clothes. Especially Mark, since he was the one to sneak the pair of leggings into his shopping, despite his protests. He didn’t have a piece that didn’t have something that matched, and he loved it.

He finished his ensemble by putting on his training shoes, grabbed his towel and drinking bottle and headed out. After a short stop at the kitchen to fill the bottle, he was on his way to the gym.

“FRIDAY, could you please inform sergeant Barnes that I am heading to the gym?”

“Sergeant Barnes is already there, Mr. Odinson.”

“Good. Thank you, FRIDAY. In that case, please inform Emily I will be at the gym, possibly until dinner time. She wanted to see me break a sweat while training.” He chuckled. If Barnes was a good as the captain, Loki was in for a treat. He never backed away from a challenge. In fact, he rather quite enjoyed it.

“Message relayed. Miss Green will be joining you at the gym after she is done with her shift.”

“Thank you, FRIDAY.”

“You’re quite welcome, Sir.”

As he arrived at the gym, he saw Bucky, Sam and Thor stretching and conversing. He didn’t know this was going to be a group affair, though he didn’t mind it, per se. The more the merrier.. maybe. He’ll have to wait and see.

“They decided to crash the party.” Bucky pointed an accusing finger at Sam and Thor, who simply grinned at the Trickster God.

“It’s alright. Mind if I warm up and stretch first? Been sitting in a children’s chair for the past hour.”

“Sure, I haven’t properly stretched yet either. These two talk a lot.”

“We do no such thing!” Sam protested, Thor nodded in agreement.

“We merely came for support.” Thor grinned at his brother. 

“Right. Why are you not sitting at the side then?” Loki raised an eyebrow at the two, who shrugged. He rolled his eyes and smiled as he went on a treadmill to start his cardio. “Bucky, you wouldn’t mind some music, would you?”

“Not at all.” Bucky got on a treadmill next to Loki’s and started his own cardio.

“Good. FRIDAY, my training playlist please.”

The music started playing and at the first notes of guitars, Loki started running. Kids Wanna Rock by Bryan Adams was the song he always started his cardio with. A good, upbeat music that matched his pace at the beginning, easing his leg muscles into the next song.

Sam was bobbing his head to the tune and mouthing the words while he played the air guitar. Thor folded his arms and stared at his fellow Avenger. Then he decided to go and take a seat on a bench. He had already trained in the morning, and while it was tempting to do so again, he simply didn’t feel like it.

The song finished and the next one followed immediately, again one by Bryan Adams, this one was called Ain’t Gonna Cry and was another upbeat song. Loki matched his running to the speed of the music. It amazed him how the machines could work that out for him without magic being used. Once more, even in death, Tony Stark managed to amaze him.

The next song was up, Driving In Style by Thundermother. He had come across this song while looking for music to add to his playlist, and found the beat good enough for running. His playlist ended up consisting of different types of rock music, ranging from classic rock to hard rock to heavy metal and more. He liked the randomness of it. It was chaos, it was madness, just like him.

Fifteen minutes into cardio and it was time for a last song before he would move on to stretching. Rollin’ by Limp Bizkit started playing and he sped up his pace.

At that moment Emily walked into the gym and instantly threw her arms up, dancing to the tune while singing along.

_Move in now move out  
Hands up, now hands down  
Back up, back up tell me what you’re gonna do now  
Breath in, now breath out  
Hands up, now hands down  
Back up, back up tell me what you’re gonna do now_

_Keep rollin’ rollin’ rollin’ rollin’  
Keep rollin’ rollin’ rollin’ rollin’_

She danced her way to the treadmill where Loki was and he grinned upon seeing her. She continued singing, cheering him on with her singing while he kept running. Once the song finished, Loki slowed down the machine until he was just walking and chose that moment to hop off of it and grabbed Emily by the waist and twirled her around as King for a Day by Battle Beast started and locked his lips with hers in a hearty kiss.

“Is that included in his cardio program?” Sam took a seat next to Thor and pointed at the kissing couple.

Thor laughed, shaking his head. “I do not think so, Falcon. I do not believe they have ever been so open in showing their affection until very recently. Loki is not one for public displays of affection. Everything else, yes, but affection? To him it shows weakness. He must already trust you and Bucky, so he feels comfortable enough.”

“You guys are weird.” Thor simply clapped Sam’s back and laughed at that.

Loki released Emily, who wiped her lipstick off his lips and went to join Sam and Thor on the bench, while Loki continued on to stretching. His mood brightened when she walked into the gym and it showed. He couldn’t stop smiling. Bucky was done running as well and started stretching too. The music changed to the heavier side of rock.

“Ready?” Bucky walked to the middle of the room and took a fighting stance.

Loki followed suit and immediately lunged forward, sprinting towards Bucky, who simply ducked forward and aimed for Loki’s legs, in an attempt to throw him off balance. Loki rolled over and stood up in a swift movement. He darted forward again, a feral grin on his face and Bucky responded with a grin of his own. Bucky punched and Loki dodged it. Then Loki used the palm of his hand and slammed it onto Bucky’s sternum. Bucky fell back, heaving.

Emily had both her hands over her chest as she watched them fight. She knew it was just a training session, but it looked real. Every time Loki got punched she would hide her face against Thor’s arm. Thor simply chuckled at her. “My brother is tougher than you think. Even without his magic, Bucky cannot hurt him.” He whispered to her. Not that it helped ease her fear of Loki getting hurt. She totally clung to Thor’s arm when Bucky landed a punch at Loki’s jaw and sent him toppling.

“God damn it, this is not what I thought I’d be watching when he said training.”

“You need not worry, Emily. Just watch.”

They continued fighting, Loki taunting Bucky from time to time just to aggravate him. He wanted to fight the Winter Soldier. He wanted to unleash the beast. He noticed Bucky wasn’t using his metal arm when punching and only for deflecting or blocking.

“Afraid you’ll break your hand if you use it?” he nodded towards the metal arm.

“More like I might hurt you if I did.” Bucky smirked.

“You’re no fun.”

Loki jumped and turned mid air to land a kick at Bucky’s chest. The Winter Soldier grabbed Loki’s leg to throw him off. Loki used the momentum and used Bucky’s arm as a kick off platform to push himself forward. He wrapped his legs around Bucky’s neck and they both dropped to the ground. Loki had a tight grip on the neck between his legs.

“Do you yield?” he huffed, a glint of excitement in his eyes.

“Not today.” Bucky replied and jerked himself off the floor, which made Loki loosen his grip on him. Bucky turned and lunged at Loki, pinning him face-forward to the ground. “Do _you_ yield?”

“Never.” With a menacing grin, Loki pushed himself and Bucky backwards, landing on top of the soldier.

Bucky pushed him off and got up on his feet. They continued on fighting, pinning each other down and asking if the other would yield. 

Thor and Sam seemed to have the time of their lives watching the two spar in close combat. Emily, on the other hand, was tense. Though to her surprise, she did finally get to see Loki actually sweating. It was quite the difference from jogging with her and not even breaking a single sweat.

Bucky was advancing on Loki, throwing punches that Loki blocked with both arms. Bucky started kicking and Loki blocked it with his leg. On the third kick, Loki raised his leg to block the kick and Bucky took that moment and swept Loki off his balance by kicking his other leg. Loki fell on his back and Bucky was instantly on top of him, metal hand grabbing at Loki’s neck.

Loki’s eyes shot open and panic instantly showed on his face. Memories of Thanos choking him resurfaced and he started hyperventilating. With both hands gripping at the metal arm, he desperately tried to pry it off. Bucky wasn’t letting go. Loki thrashed his legs, trying to regain the upper hand, but due to the rising panic attack, his attempts were futile.

Emily recognized the panicked look on Loki’s face and stood up. Loki kept struggling against Bucky’s hold, even though the soldier wasn’t applying much pressure on his throat. Finally, Loki mustered enough rage to pry the fingers off his neck. Bucky was shocked by what he was witnessing. Loki’s eyes were now void of emotion and was dead focused on him. Like a jaguar pouncing its prey, Loki grabbed Bucky’s metal wrist and with a swift movement kicked Bucky off of him. In an invisible instant, Bucky was being held face-forward to the ground, his metal arm being painfully pressed against his back.

Loki leaned forward to whisper Bucky’s ear. “Do you yield, mortal?”

“N-no.” Bucky struggled against the grip. If Loki had applied any more pressure on his arm, it would rip off. But there was no way he would give up.

Emily had had it with the sparring. She didn’t like predatory look Loki had on his face while he pinned Bucky down. She could also see Bucky struggling and obviously in pain.

She took a couple of steps forward, while keeping a safe distance. “Loki, enough. Please.”

As if a light switch had suddenly been turned on in his head. Loki looked at what he was doing and abruptly let go of Bucky and pushed himself off of him. Bucky rolled on his back, wincing at the discomfort in his shoulder where metal and flesh connected. Loki was sitting a few feet away, knees up to his chest. He hid his face over his knees and crossed his arms over his head, while trying to regulate his breathing.

Sam and Thor sprinted over, with Sam kneeling next to Bucky and helping him to sit up. Emily rushed to Loki and sat next to him, as did Thor. “Brother?”

Loki didn’t respond. He simply raised a finger over his head, acknowledging his brother, but otherwise remained in the same position.

Emily placed a hand over Loki’s shoulder. His shirt was soaking wet. She ran her hand to the back of his neck and found it to be wet and his skin was cold. “Loki? Are you alright?” Loki raised a finger again and remained silent, trying to catch his breath. “Okay, that’s not gonna do. I want to see your face.”

Loki raised his finger again. “Loki, are you asking for a moment?”

He gave a thumbs up.

Emily had to smile at that, though he was still breathing heavily, so she remained seated next to him, stroking his hair but turned to look at Bucky. “Bucky?”

“I’m good.” He rolled his metal arm, flexing his shoulder and gave her a smile.

“That was a good fight.” Thor said.

“It was.” Loki finally raised his head, grinning at Bucky with a bloody nose.

“Oh my God, Loki!” Emily made him sit straight and leaning a bit forward, and started examining his nose for a fracture, but he didn’t even flinch to the touch.

“I’m alright, love.” 

“Your nose is bleeding, that does not say ‘alright’”

He brought his fingers to his nose and looked at the blood covering the tips. “Hmm.. interesting. I thought I tasted blood, didn’t think it was my nose.”

“Hang on, hold your head low and press your nose bridge,” she brought his fingers to where they were supposed to press. “I’ll be right back, don’t move.” She ran to the corner of the room where a small cabinet was standing and grabbed the first aid kit and another box and came back.

She first opened the first aid box, taking out a small flashlight. “Open your mouth, but don’t move your head. I’ll move around instead.” She didn’t want to risk the blood going down his throat. So Loki opened his mouth and Emily leaned forward and checked the back of his throat. “Okay, it’s a posterior nosebleed. If you can, don’t swallow the blood. Spit it out instead.” She took out packs of bandages and after handing him one to spit in, she used the rest to clean his nose. The three men simply sat around them and watched her do her work. Loki watched her concentrated face in awe. How she cleaned his nose and upper lip, then his chin. Then she took a decongestant from the box and sprayed it into his nose on both sides. “Keep pinching your nose for a while.”

He nodded and watched her put the first aid kit aside and picked up the other box. She took out what looked like a bracelet with a screen attached to it. “I’m gonna check your blood pressure. The blood at the back of your throat suggests that might have been the case.”

He nodded and followed her instructions as she placed the bracelet around his wrist. She held his hand in a stable position as she turned the little machine on. Loki felt the machine inflating and then slowly deflating, with numbers showing on the screen. Once it stopped, a final number blinked.

“Okay, I don’t like this. Loki, how are you feeling?” she took the monitor off his wrist and put it back into the box.

“Not bad, per se. What do the numbers mean?”

“180/130, your blood pressure is high. That in combination with the momentary anxiety you showed, must have caused the nosebleed.” She ran her thumb over his cheek. “We’ll wait a few minutes and measure it again, if it doesn’t get lower, we’ll go to the medical facility.” She smiled at him.

“Hang on for a second there, anxiety?” Sam leaned forward.

Emily looked at Loki, who shrugged. She knew he wasn’t fond of the idea of the Avengers finding out about his mental state, but seeing that he was so far on good terms with at least two of them (three, if they counted Steve as well), she decided to leave it up to him whether he wanted to tell them or not.

“PTSD.” Loki sighed. “Thor hasn’t told you what happened with Thanos?”

“Only that you died when he attacked the ship.” Bucky said.

Loki nodded. “He broke my neck.”

“Ouch.” Sam winced.

“Geez, man, I’m sorry.”

“You couldn’t have known, so it’s alright.” Loki smiled at Bucky. “I didn’t know it would be an issue. I mean a lot of things are, but I am discovering them as I go. Being choked is apparently a trigger. Found that out when Peter held me down.” His chuckle was bitter.

“Parker?” Bucky tilted his head.

Loki nodded and gave them a summary about what happened with the spiderling. To say the least, both men were surprised at Peter’s outburst, though neither of them could blame him or Loki, for that matter. Especially Bucky, since he had once been on the receiving end of a similar situation with Stark.

“You in therapy?” Sam moved to stretch out his legs and leaned back on his arms.

“Started recently.” Loki nodded.

“Good. Just so you know, I worked with army veterans who had PTSD, in case you need someone to vent to or something.”

Loki was grateful for the offer and he told Sam as much. Emily grabbed the blood pressure monitor and put it around Loki’s wrist again. She turned it on and it started measuring.

“Nope, we’re going to the medical facility.” She packed everything and took Loki’s hand off his nose and wiped it again. “Looks okay for the time being, but it could still be bleeding at the back. Can you feel it?”

“Slightly.”

“You’re swallowing it.” She sighed, “Loki, I asked you to spit it out.”

“That’s inappropriate.”

“What’s inappropriate is you choking on your own blood or..” she gasped and covered her mouth, realising what she just said. “Loki, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to mention choking on blood, crap! I’m doing it again!”

Loki chuckled at that, coughing a bit. “Love, not everything related to choking or blood is a trigger.” He rubbed her upper arm and smiled.

“Good to know.” She smiled back. “Now let’s get you downstairs.”

“Should we come?” Bucky asked as everyone else started getting up.

“No need to. We’ll be up once we’re done there. It should be dinner time soon, so better go get ready.”

Loki took a few steps forward and reached out to Bucky. “I’m looking forward to more sparring with you.”

“Likewise.” Bucky smiled as he shook the offered hand.

“See you guys later.” Sam and Bucky headed to the exit.

Emily took the boxes back to the cupboard and put the used bandages into the trash can next to it. “Okay, let’s go. Thor, you coming?”

“Of course.” He smiled and joined them on the way to the medical facility.


	40. Chapter 40

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 40 chapters omfg
> 
> Some smut in this chapter.

Armed with a new pack of blood pressure medication and strict instructions to not overexert himself, and after a quick shower in his own bathroom and a change of clothes, Loki went back to the penthouse with Emily and Thor.

Upon arrival they were greeted by an excited Hugo and an even more excited Morgan, who wrapped herself at Loki’s legs. The Trickster God happily picked her up and walked into the living room. Bruce had joined the group as well, and they were all discussing something the trio that had just arrived didn’t quite catch.

“Oh good, you’re back!” Pepper said and got up. “What did the doctor say?”

Loki took a seat and put Morgan on his lap. “I received an earful about taking it easy and all that. And I have a new pack of medication to add to my collection.” He gave her a toothy grin, though she knew he wasn’t really happy about it.

“Sorry to hear that.” She gave him a sympathetic smile.

Loki shrugged, “it is what it is.”

“You got sick?” Morgan asked, curiosity on her little face.

“A little bit.” Loki nodded.

“Mommy makes me chicken soup when I’m sick. It makes me feel better.”

“Does it now?” she nodded, “alright then, I will have to try some.”

“Yeah, it comes with potatoes. I like potatoes.”

“Potatoes are tasty.” Loki nodded, totally infatuated by her.

Steve watched the interaction with a smile. It was amazing how Loki was with the child, Tony would have flipped if he could have witnessed it.

“Morgan, honey, it’s time for you to go to bed.” Pepper came to pick her up, but Morgan wrapped her arms around Loki’s neck.

“Noooo.”

“You have school tomorrow. Come on.”

Morgan clung even harder at Loki’s neck. Pepper tried to pry her off him, but she just shrieked into his ear, making him wince.

“May I?” he asked.

“Be my guest.” Pepper sighed and went to sit down.

“Little one, can I ask you something?”

“Mhmm..” she nodded against his neck, not letting go.

“Remember what we said about sleeping?”

“..No?”

“The time I told you how you need to sleep so you would be alert enough to defend us?”

She pulled back and looked at him, pouting. “But I don’t want to sleep.”

“Why not?”

She hugged him again. “I don’t like my room.”

Loki looked at Pepper with concern. She sat up straight. Everyone’s attention now was turned to Morgan. “How come you don’t like it?”

“I just don’t.” Loki could feel her arms tighten around his neck.

“Morgan,” it was probably the first time Loki called her by her name instead of one of the nicknames he always used for her. “Is there something in your room that makes you not like it?”

She nodded and Loki looked at Thor. He stood up and went to check the bedroom, Sam and Bucky went with him.

“What kind of something is it?” he ran his hand over her back.

“I don’t know. It makes noises at night. Woosh-woosh noise.”

Pepper got up and went to the kitchen. “FRIDAY, have you noticed something in Morgan’s room at night?”

“My surveillance has shown nothing out of the ordinary, boss.”

“What about the outside?” it was far fetched, since they were on a very high level and no sane person would dare too come up there at this height.

“Surveillance shows no irregularities.”

“That’s weird. Why does Morgan hear things at night then? The windows are sound proof, even. Could you scan her room for anything?”

“Scan in progress.” Pepper waited a few long seconds until the AI spoke again. “The room is clear. No threats detected.”

“Thank you FRIDAY.” She went back to the living room. “FRIDAY couldn’t find anything.”

“Neither could we.” Sam said as the three men returned.

“Morgan, honey, you sure you heard something?” Emily knelt next to Loki and stroked Morgan’s hair. The girl turned to her and nodded.

“Would you like to sleep in my bed tonight? I will be going home, you can have my room if you want.” She gave her an encouraging smile.

Morgan turned to her mom for permission. “You can, if you want to. You can also sleep in my bed.”

“Mommy and daddy’s bed.” She said, finally smiling.

“Oh God, I think I’ll have a heart attack. The weapon is back! Emily shield your eyes!” Loki said overdramatically, which made Morgan giggle. “Alright, my fair maiden, would you like to go to bed with your mommy?”

“I want you to tuck me in.”

Pepper sighed with a smile. Her daughter was simply impossible.

Loki chuckled lightly. “I will have to disappoint you, my lovely princess, I cannot do that. Your mommy’s room is her private quarters. Only you and her are allowed in there.”

“Emily goes there too.”

“Well, Emily is a lady, of course she is allowed. I am not a lady. It would be rude of me to do so.”

Pepper mouthed “it’s okay” at Loki, but he waved his hand ‘no’.

“It would be rude because you’re not a lady?”

“Exactly. Also, because I do not live here. I live downstairs.”

“Oh.. okay.” That seemed logical enough for her as she slid off of Loki’s lap and went to her mom. Pepper took her hand and walked her to the master bedroom instead of her own.

“Since when are you good with kids?” Steve asked, the smile never left his face.

“I honestly did not know I can tolerate children until I met her.” He chuckled.

“For what it’s worth, I think Tony would have approved.”

“Thank you, captain.”

“You can call me Steve.”

Loki nodded, smiling. “Thank you, Steve.” He then turned to Emily. “Going home tonight?”

“Yeah.” She took a seat next to him. “Taking Hugo to the vet tomorrow. It’s his annual check up time. You can join us if you want.”

“At what time is it? I’m working in the morning.”

“Ah, too bad. It’s at 10.”

“Maybe next time then.”

“I’ll come by in the afternoon anyway. Working a night shift tomorrow.”

Loki nodded, already looking forward to seeing her the next day. 

When Pepper returned, they set up the table and had dinner together. Loki found the company of the three Avengers to be surprisingly pleasant. They talked about random topics. Steve was mainly interested about Loki’s stay and how he was adjusting to life on Earth. Loki skilfully diverted from every topic that had anything to do with magic, not wanting to reveal that he was basically helpless, even though his training session with Bucky proved otherwise. Minus the sudden anxiety at the end, though they didn’t hold it against him. Especially since all three of them knew exactly how it felt. Bucky and Steve having had PTSD episodes in the past, and Sam having worked with war veterans suffering from it.

After they were done with dinner, the three Avengers decided it was time for them to leave. With promises to keep in touch, especially due to the unknown possible threat looming nearby, Loki extended the two younger ones an open invitation to sparring whenever they felt like it. Both Bucky and Sam agreed to do it at their next convenience.

After they had left, Bruce excused himself as well. He was getting ready for a trip in the morning to the West Coast for a conference and he still needed to pack. Thor had gone to his room and Loki was escorting Emily to her car.

Once Hugo was in the car, Emily turned to Loki. “Thanks for walking me to the car.”

He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. “It’s my pleasure.”

“Please don’t get any nightmares while I’m not there.” She placed both hands over his chest.

“While I would love nothing more than to say I promise you that, unfortunately I have no control over it.” He kissed her forehead, “what I do promise, however, is to think of you when I go to sleep. I have a feeling that would help prevent the nightmares.”

“You’re such a romantic.” She stood on tip-toes and kissed him.

“You flatter me. I am no romantic.” He chuckled, nuzzling her cheek. “I’m looking forward to seeing you again tomorrow.”

“Me too. Unfortunately, now I have to go.”

“Drive safely.”

With one more kiss, Emily got into her car and drove off. Loki watched until the car left the garage and only then he turned and headed to the elevators.

-*-*-*-*-*-

The next day proved to be uneventful. He worked all day, had a quick lunch in his office, continued working until it was time to go home.

He didn’t have tutoring today, so he spent the time after work in his bedroom, reading a book on his loveseat, while waiting for Emily to arrive. He was curious to know how Hugo’s check up had gone, hopefully with no alarming results.

As he was finishing a chapter, a soft knock came from the door. “Come in,” he said and set the book aside before he stood up. Emily walked in, closing the door behind her and smiling at him.

Loki spread his arms as she walked up to him and held his face with both hands and kissed him. He wrapped his arms around her and picked her off the ground as their lips locked.

“I didn’t realize you’d miss me this much,” he grinned as he put her down.

“You’re the one who literally swept me off my feet just now.” She poked at his chest, grinning widely.

“I miss you even when you’re in the next room, so..” he shrugged and she giggled. “So, how was Hugo’s check up.” They sat down on the loveseat.

“Good, good. He’s healthy, thankfully. He got a new cream for his scar. It’s been acting up again.”

“How did he get the scar, by the way. I don’t think you’ve ever mentioned it.”

“Explosives. It was when he was serving in Iraq. He had detected some explosives and while his commanding officer had tried pulling him away from harm, he wasn’t fast enough and Hugo was injured. They told me when he was brought back, he was still recovering from the surgery done to his eye, which left him with that scar, and numerous burns. By the time I had gotten him, most of his fur had grown back. Poor thing was so traumatized back then.” She smiled fondly at the memory. “He was exactly what I needed at the time.”

“Celeste.”

“Exactly. Hugo was the light in my time of darkness. And in a way, I was his.”

“I’m happy that you found each other.” He smiled at her.

“Me too. He really helped pull me out of a very dark place. God knows where I would have been if it weren’t for him.”

Loki pulled her into his arms and kissed her forehead. She leaned against him, a gentle smile gracing her lips. This felt very comfortable. He felt comfortable to be around. She was glad she decided to come over before having to go to work later in the evening. She has been sharing him with others quite often in the past days and she was craving some alone time.

“How about we don’t leave this room today until it’s time for me to go to work?” she turned her head to look at him.

“I like the idea.” He grinned.

“Good.” She kicked her shoes off and pulled her legs up to her chest. “Were you doing something when I came?”

“Reading a book.” He picked the book up from where it lay on his side and showed it to her.

“Do you want to continue reading?”

He smirked in a mischievous manner and put the book aside. “I have another book I would like to read, if said book has no objections.”

The way he looked at her suggested that he meant her. Though how he wanted to ‘read’ her, she wasn’t quite sure. That mischievous glint in his eyes could mean either a truth or dare game, or..

Her thoughts were interrupted when he picked her up and got off the loveseat and took her to his bed. He lay her down and came to lay down next to her, running his fingers over her lips. “So many chapters to read..” he purred, his eyes were gazing into hers like he was looking far beyond her irises. He looked back at her lips and she knew what he was about to do. He leaned forward and gently pressed his lips against hers, feeling the soft skin against his own, while his hand rested over her waist. Emily’s breathing became quick and shaky. Her eyes closed on their own accord and she let out a soft sigh when Loki’s cool lips gently explored hers.

She cupped his face and kissed him, edging her body closer to his. Loki groaned in pleasure as she drew her tongue over his lips and pulled her even closer against him. She grinned as she deepened the kiss, sending tremors of pleasure down his spine.

Loki’s hand moved from her waist to the front of her shirt, slowly unbuttoning it. He then ran his fingers along her breast bone, making her shiver into the kiss. When her shirt finally fell open, he caressed her breasts, breaking their kiss only to start kissing her jaw, neck and making his way to her chest. He pulled her bra down and licked her nipples. Carefully paying equal attention to each. Her hands were on his biceps, head pressed back into the pillows as she took shallow breaths.

She could feel wetness building up between her legs. His lips moved slowly down to her stomach, which rose and fell along her chest with each breath she took. He slowly unzipped her pants, kissing along her waistline as he pulled them down to her thighs. He then removed her underwear, sliding them down and pulling them off along with her pants, discarding them aside.

Emily’s breath got caught in her throat as he started kissing her inner thighs. She opened her eyes to look at him, and found his eyes on her as he sucked on a single spot inside her thigh. That was going to leave a mark, she thought. He then continued his way to her center, kissing her just above her pubic bone. She closed her eyes and dropped her head back, her breaths becoming heavier. He licked her clit, teased it with the tip of his tongue, which made her shiver and moan, spreading her legs further.

As he continued teasing her clit, he slipped two fingers inside of her. Emily moved against his hand, meeting every time he thrust into her. A curl of his digits made her arch her back and moan his name. He smiled and sucked hard at her clit, while his hand moved in and out of her.

When he suddenly stopped, Emily propped herself up on her elbows, wondering what happened. The feral grin he gave her eased her worries and she reciprocated. Pushing herself up to a sitting position, she shrugged off her shirt and grabbed Loki’s shirt, pulling it out of his pants and over his head. She ran her palms over his chest and down to his stomach. She then unbuckled his belt and unzipped his pants. He shifted around until his pants and underwear were removed as well. She licked her lips as she looked at his erection, the tip glistening with precum.

Loki reached out to her and lightly pulled at the strap of her bra. “It’s obscuring my view.” He simply said.

“Oh, I’m sorry, your highness.” She responded in a cheeky manner. “Though I’m afraid I might need some help there.”

She got on her knees and turned around. He sat on his knees as well, edging close to her. He started kissing the back of her neck, following a trail of kisses over her shoulder, while he unclasped her bra and let it drop off her arms. He brought his hands to her front, cupping both breasts as he sucked on a spot right above her shoulder blade. She spread her legs to let him get even closer, until she was straddling his thighs. 

Her hips moved against him, rubbing against his erection and making him groan against her skin. She reached to the back and wrapped her fingers around him, slowly stroking him in unison to the way he caressed her breasts. 

Emily then turned her head to the side and found his lips. With their lips locked together, he slowly bent her forward and she let go of him to prop herself on all four. He broke the kiss and straightened up behind her, positioning himself before he paused for a moment..

“Protection..” he mumbled, inwardly cursing himself.. “I have none..”

“I’ll take a pill later.” She quickly breathed out and pushed her hips against him. 

“Are you sure?” he ran his hand over her hips.

“Yes.” She pushed against him again.

He grabbed her hips as he entered her, slowly pushing into her. He gasped softly at her tightness as she moaned at how he filled her. He started moving, slowly at first and then increasing in speed and strength. Emily couldn’t hold her moans every time he thrust into her. She braced herself against the bed and met his thrusts in equal intensity.

Loki could feel his orgasm building up as her walls tightened against him. He desperately wanted to look at her when she came. So, he pulled out and turned her around so she was laying on her back. She wrapped her legs around him as he took her again. She laced her fingers behind his neck as they looked into each others eyes while their bodies moved against each other.

Emily could feel it coming. She released one hand from Loki’s neck to touch herself while she still held his gaze. She grabbed his hair and dropped her head back as orgasm washed over her, sending shivers down her whole body. Loki wasn’t far behind and with a few intense thrusts he moaned her name as he felt the waves of orgasm sweep him off his whole existence. 

He was panting when he leaned over her, capturing her lips in a hungry kiss. Emily sighed into the kiss as he slowly pulled out, feeling his cum dripping out of her. Loki finally dropped next to her, pulling her into his arms and buried his face into the crook of her neck and kissed the soft skin there.

“So this is what you mean when you say reading.” She breathed out, trying to catch her breath.

“Only when it comes to you.” He licked her neck, smirking when she giggled.

She pulled her head back to look at him. “I love you, Loki Odinson. I don’t know how it happened, or when it happened, but I love you.”

“I love you too, Emily Green.” His smile brightened his features and made her heart flutter in happiness. She pulled him into yet another passionate kiss.

-*-*-*-*-*-

They lay in each other’s arms, sleep threatening to take over. But Emily knew she had to go to work in a couple of hours. But first, she needed a quick shower.

“Do you mind if I used the shower? I kind of need to be presentable before I go to work.”

“Feel free. There are clean towels in the cabinet to the left.” He brushed a strand of hair off her face.

Grabbing her clothes off the floor, she went into the bathroom and closed the door behind her. 

Loki lay in bed, hands behind his head and watched the closed bathroom door while Emily took a shower. He was tempted to go join her, but thought better of it. He wouldn’t want to be the reason she was late for work. He chuckled at the thought. A few years back he wouldn’t have thought twice about it, and yet, here he was, being all considerate for the one he had come to love and cherish.

He could actually get used to this. Being around each other made him feel... good. She was comfortable enough to take a shower in his bathroom. Sure, they just had sex, so it’s not that weird to use someone’s bathroom after. But a lot of women on Asgard preferred to bathe in their own chambers after sleeping with him. Technically, he preferred bathing in his own chambers as well after a sexual encounter elsewhere. It was more comfortable, because it was his own. So while Emily could have simply gone upstairs to her own room to shower, she chose to do it here. And that made him smile. For once, Loki felt genuinely happy.


	41. Chapter 41

The next weeks Loki and Emily have been alternating stays between the tower and her apartment. Between the two of them, there was no dull moment to be had. Emily had told him about dating, which he kept referring to as courting and that amused her to no end. They went out together, visited museums and art galleries. Loki found out that his fascination with the history of other realms has never diminished and even on Midgard there were always new things for him to learn.

The American Museum of Natural History was a delight to be at. They had planned a whole day for it, so they could take their time exploring every exhibition and collection within the establishment. Hugo, being a service dog, was allowed in as well. Emily had thought of not bringing him along and asking Jess to take him out for a walk, but Loki didn’t mind taking their furbaby along.

That was another thing he had come to learn. Midgardians had the tendency to name their pets furbabies, when they saw their furry companions as family members. He kind of liked it. Hugo was a big part of Emily’s life and he had long become a part of Loki’s as well.

Which was another thing he had learned. Couples tended to get a pet together. Well, he came into the already established companionship. So in a way, he was the pet to the Emily-Hugo pair. The thought was highly amusing.

When not indulging in courtship and their carnal desires, Loki and Emily divided their time between work and the penthouse, trying to figure out how to counter the invisible threat they were facing. Pepper had reached out to several of Tony’s associates, old and recent, trying to palpate whether anyone had heard about someone having their knickers in a twist about something. Her search yielded no results.

“I wish Natasha was here.” She sighed, leaning back into her chair.

“You think the Widow could have figured this out?”

“Oh definitely. Her resources were immeasurable. She could have infiltrated armies and none would have been the wiser.”

“Natasha was cool.” Emily smiled.

“Very cunning.” Loki nodded, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lip as he remember his encounter with her.

“What about Clint?”

Pepper sat up. “He could go underground and check.” She picked up the phone and dialled his number.

 _“Barton.”_

“Hey, Clint, it’s Pepper.”

_“Hey, Pep! How’s it going?”_

“Good, good. I hope I didn’t call you at an inconvenient time?” she could hear kids running around in the background.

 _“Nah, it was time for a break anyway. Nathaniel was wrestling me.”_ he chuckled.

“Oh goodness. A mini Hulk in the making?” she smiled.

 _“God I hope not. One is more than enough.”_ he laughed. _“So, Pep, what’s going on?”_

“Someone’s been watching us and we can’t get a hold of who and why. I wondered if you can check with some underground acquaintances.” 

A pause. _“Sure. I’ll call you once I have something.”_

“Thanks, Clint. I owe you one.”

_“Nah, don’t mention it. Give Morgan a kiss for me, will ya?”_

“I will. Same goes for Laura and the kids.”

She hung up and looked at Loki. “He’ll look into it and will get back to me.”

“Good, now let’s go grab some street food. I’m craving tacos.” Emily stood up.

“I’d like some hot dogs.” Pepper got up as well.

Soon enough, the three of them, along with Morgan and Hugo were taking a walk in the park with bags of food they had bought on the way. Once they reached to dog playground, Emily took the leash off Hugo and he sprinted into the field, playing with other dogs. The trio sat on a bench and Pepper took Morgan onto her lap and handed her a hot dog sandwich.

They ate, talked and laughed. Hugo came over a couple of times for some snack and water until he had his fill of playing and finally came to lay down at Emily’s feet.

“Mommy, I want ice cream.” Morgan looked behind Pepper, eyeing the colourful truck.

“Honey, it’s a bit cold for ice cream.”

“Pleeeeease.”

Pepper rolled her eyes. “But if you get icky neck, don’t come complaining to me.”

“I promise! No icky neck!”

“I can get us some.” Loki stood up. 

“That would be lovely,” Pepper said and reached for her bag.

“Pepper, seriously.” Loki gave her a look and reached for Morgan and picked her up. “Any preference on flavour?”

Pepper smiled. “Bubblegum if they have one, if not, then vanilla.”

“Watermelon for me, otherwise you choose.” Came Emily’s reply.

“I want chocolate and sprinkles.” Morgan said, twirling a strand of Loki’s hair around her finger.

“You’ll get whatever you wish for, little one.” He nuzzled her cheek and she giggled. Then he turned back to Emily. “For Hugo as well?”

“Yes, please.”

He set Morgan over his shoulders and went to stand in line at the truck.

“Icky neck?” Emily grinned.

“Sore throat.” Pepper chuckled. “The easiest way for her to explain it apparently.”

“I’m so going to use that if I ever get a sore throat.”

“So, how’s it going so far?” Pepper turned sideways to look at Emily.

“How’s what going?”

“With Loki.” Pepper smiled.

Emily had to blush and cast her eyes downwards. “Good.” She looked back at her cousin, a warm smile on her face. “He’s so gentle and loving. Very thoughtful and considerate. Never thought I’d ever have that again.”

“I’m very happy for you, Em. For the both of you.”

“I feel like in a honeymoon phase of some sort. I don’t want it to ever end.”

“Oh believe me, when it’s ‘the one’, it never does.” Pepper smiled, knowing all too well how it felt.

“You think he’s the one?”

“That’s for you to figure out.”

Emily nodded and turned around to look at Loki and Morgan, who were making their ice cream order. “I might already have.” She turned to Pepper, grinning as her heart fluttered with happiness.

-*-*-*-*-*-

Loki had settled on the ground in front of the bench. Legs crossed and Morgan sitting on his thigh as they had ice cream and she kept telling him about her school. 

The cool September breeze blew around them, making both women pull their blazers over their necks. Loki, on the other hand, had his blazer on the bench. So he reached for it and put it over Morgan’s shoulders.

“This is big.” She said, licking her ice cream cone.

“I know. It’s mine.”

“Why don’t you wear it?”

“Because I don’t want you to catch a cold.” He grabbed a tissue that Emily handed him, and wiped some ice cream off Morgan’s chin.

“Hmm..” the girl nodded and turned to cone around to start eating from the other side that kept dripping over her hand and the ground.

Hugo’s ears perked up and he raised his head from where he was laying. He let out a huff and Emily looked around and saw Thor approaching them. He waved at them and sprinted to them before coming to a halt.

“Greetings.”

“Hey, Thor. Come sit.” Emily scooted over, making some space for him.

“Thanks. FRIDAY told me you’re here, so I decided to join you.”

“You missed ice cream.” Morgan said, letting ice cream drip off her chin and Loki wiping it off.

“Yeah, Thor, you missed ice cream.” Loki grinned at his brother.

“Ah, that is most unfortunate. Maybe next time I will join you sooner.” The Thunderer grinned at them. It warmed his heart seeing how his younger brother was with Morgan. No matter how many times he would see them interacting, it never ceased to amaze him just how _good_ Loki was with her. It brought back old memories from their childhood when they would play with other children and Loki would easily make friends with the younger ones.

“Thor, stop staring. It’s rude.” Loki said, which made Morgan nod vigorously.

“Apologies, brother.” He grinned.

“I don’t want this anymore.” Morgan handed the remaining of her ice cream to Loki.

“Alright. Let me first clean your hands and we can go play by the swings.” 

Pepper took the remains from him and handed him a pack of wet wipes. He gently wiped Morgan’s hands and then her mouth and chin. Once done, he returned the pack to Pepper and stood up, picking Morgan up. “We’ll be back in a bit.” He tossed the used wipes in a nearby trash can and walked over to the swings.

As they watched them play together, Emily leaned back and crossed her arms as she smiled fondly.

Thor turned to her. “Emily, how is my brother treating you?”

Her gaze still on Loki, she replied, “Splendidly.” She then turned to Thor, a loving smile still on her face. “He’s amazing, Thor. Everything a woman could ever wish for in a partner.”

“I’m glad to hear. It would pain me to have to kick his arse for not treating you well.” He grinned.

“I don’t think he would ever.” Pepper joined in. “Just look at them there. He doesn’t have a bad bone in him.”

“Only circumstances played a role in his downfall, and my ignorance.” Thor’s smile turned melancholic as he watched his brother be chased by Morgan and two more kids, whom she already managed to befriend. “I am glad that the Norns guided him here, to be amongst you. To have met you.” He looked at Emily, who smiled.

“Me too, Thor. Me too.”

-*-*-*-*-*-

It was a sunny afternoon, a few days after their little outing at the park. Pepper had a conference meeting with Stark Industries shareholders and had to be at the office all day. Loki was in his office, having a meeting of his own with a few employees from logistics. Emily was working a shift at the hospital, so that left Jess, who had a day off, to babysit Morgan after she came back from school at the penthouse.

They had just finished doing homework and had moved on to play tea party in Morgan’s room. Morgan had insisted they both wear tiaras, as this was meant to be a princess tea party. Jess, naturally, agreed instantly. When else would she get to be a princess? Morgan was happy about it.

While Morgan started placing her tea cups and plates on her small table, Jess went to the kitchen to bring some juice they could use as tea and some cookies to go with it. 

When she opened the fridge, she noticed the lights inside flickering. That was weird. She closed the door and opened it again, thinking it was her imagination, but the lights inside the fridge kept flickering. So maybe it was a loose wire or something. Not thinking much of it, she grabbed a bottle of orange juice and set it aside, then went on to look for some cookies.

There was some sort of static coming from the speakers. Jess looked up, wondering if the electricity in the building was being wonky today, but the Stark Tower was powered by the arc reactor, which meant no electricity fluctuations were possible. Jess finally found the cookies and put some in a plate, but before leaving the kitchen, she looked at one of the sensors. It had a red light blinking constantly.

“FRIDAY?”

There was no response, other than the red light blinking faster.

“FRIDAY, is something wrong?”

Again, fast blinking.

Jess walked out of the kitchen and was on her way to Morgan’s bedroom when she heard glass being shattered and Morgan screaming. “MORGAN!” She dropped the juice and cookies and ran to the room.

As soon as she stepped into the room, she saw four men dressed head to toe in black, their faces covered and armed with guns chasing after Morgan, who was trying to run away and slid under her bed.

“FRIDAY, GET HELP!” Jess yelled and ran towards Morgan. One of the men grabbed her and pushed her aside, and went on to lift Morgan’s bed so the others could grab her.

Jess fell against a dresser, knocking off the picture frames on top. She stood up and charged at one of the men, jumping at his back and pulling at his mask.

The man grabbed her arms and ducked forward, flinging her over him and slamming her to the ground, knocking her out. In an instant he pulled out a gun and pulled the trigger.

Morgan screamed at the top of her lungs as another man grabbed her. She kept thrashing in his arms and tried to kick and bite, but it didn’t seem to work. She did everything her dad and Loki had taught her about defending herself, but it was not working! The man was too big and strong for her, and he had goggles on, so she couldn’t poke his eyes! In a desperate attempt she kept screaming, calling for her mom, Loki and Emily. She even called for the Hulk, but no one came. One of the men took out a syringe and pressed it against her upper arm. She jerked and screamed even louder, and in a few seconds she dropped limp in the man’s arms.

“What about this one?” one of them asked as they were about to leave through the window they came in through.

“Not our problem. We’re here for the girl. Let’s go.” He threw some blankets over the body.

They strapped Morgan against the chest of the man and climbed the ropes they came down in.

A few moments later, alarms blared in the whole tower.

Loki was in a heated discussion with the head of the logistics department when the alarms went off. His blood froze in his veins and he quickly excused himself and darted out of the office, heading for the elevators.

Pepper had stopped the conference and ran to the elevators herself, reaching it at the same time Loki did.

“Loki, any idea what’s going on?”

“None. FRIDAY isn’t responding either.”

“Let’s use another elevator. My office.” Pepper ran towards her office through the hoards of employees trying to get to either the elevator or the stairs. No one had gotten any instructions on what was going on, so everyone was evacuating.

Pepper led Loki into her office and went into an adjacent room. She pressed a button on the wall and a few seconds later it opened, revealing a private elevator. They stepped in and Pepper pressed the only button it had on the control panel, leading to the penthouse.

Loki didn’t ask any questions about the private elevator. He was almost panicking at the thought that something must have happened and Morgan was alone with Jess upstairs.

Pepper was having similar worries. She kept staring at the number screen indicating the floors it was reaching. Her arms wrapped around herself to stop shivering in worry.

Soon the elevator came to a stop and they walked out into her home office and ran to the hallway. They saw the dropped juice and cookies and ran to Morgan’s room.

Pepper stood at the doorway, frozen in shock at the state of the room. Morgan’s bed had been moved aside, like it had been lifted and simply let to drop. Pillows and blankets on the floor. Her toys broken and scattered. And she saw the broken window with ropes hanging outside, the wind blowing into the room. 

Loki was frantically searching for Morgan in the room and in her closet. He even checked the smaller cupboards hoping she was hiding in there, but couldn’t find her. “Morgan?” he called for her, but there was no answer. His heart was beating frantically in his chest and he was starting to hyperventilate. Has she been kidnapped? He bent over the windowsill, the wind blowing onto him as he braced himself so he wouldn’t fall out and looked down and the ropes were not going to any of the floors, so he looked up. They were hanging from the roof. Whoever it was, that’s where they came from.

Taking shaky steps towards Pepper, his foot his something. He looked down and there was a hand under a heap of blankets. “Jess..” he gasped and dropped to the floor, pulling the blankets off. “Pepper, call for help! She’s been shot!”

Loki knew how an anxiety attack felt. He knew how sometimes he would freeze and not register his surroundings. Right now, Pepper was frozen in her spot. He got up and placed his hands over Pepper’s shoulders. “Pepper, look at me. Look at me! Focus!” her eyes moved to meet him. “Jess is hurt. Call for help.”

She nodded and took her phone out and dialled 911.

Loki came back to Jess and checked for a pulse. He could find one, but it was faint. The blood kept pooling around her, so he carefully lifted her shirt, revealing the shot wound on her side, right above her hip. Cursing under his breath, he turned her around to see if there was an exit wound and was relieved to see it, and the bullet engraved into the carpet underneath.

“How can I help?” Pepper came to kneel next to him, face soaking in tears but determination visible in her eyes. She was barely keeping it together. 

Loki could only do the first thing that came to his mind. “I need to freeze her wounds until help arrives. Hold her for me. Don’t move her much. We don’t know how badly she’s hurt.” He changed to his Jotun form and pressed two fingers on each of the wounds, which instantly froze and the bleeding stopped. He turned back to normal and grabbed the first piece of fabric that he saw laying next to him. Morgan’s night gown. “Your daughter will be mad at me, but it’s necessary.” He folded the gown and pressed it against Jess’ side. “Hold it in place while I get bandages. Is help coming?”

“Yeah.”

Loki ran to the bathroom, where he knew Pepper had some first aid material, grabbed the box and came back. He quickly took out a roll of bandage and wrapped it around Jess’ waist. “This should hold it until they get here.”

“FRIDAY?” there was still no response and Pepper finally broke down. Loki slid to her side and took her into his arms, tears flowing down his cheeks as well.

“We’ll find her, Pepper. I’ll find her. I promise you that.”

“My baby.. they took my baby..” she sobbed into his arms, clinging to him for dear life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorryyyyyy 😇


	42. Chapter 42

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the comments on the previous chapter!

In what seemed to be ages, the penthouse was suddenly swarming with people. Medical staff came rushing in and carefully put Jess onto a stretcher and took her to the medical facility to get checked and treated. Happy came with the police, who started questioning and investigating. Loki and Pepper were asked to move to the living room so the officers can do their work. Happy was making phone calls left and right.

Then to Loki’s surprise, Peter came over. At first an officer refused to let him in, but Loki motioned for her to step aside and Peter walked in. Acknowledging Loki’s presence with a nod, Peter knelt before Pepper, who took one look at him and pulled him into a hug and cried. Peter couldn’t hold his tears either and simply held on to her as he cried with her.

Loki was doing his best to keep his breathing and mind in check. This was no time for an anxiety attack. He needed to find Morgan, but he had no idea where to start.

Any other time he would have refrained from addressing the teenager who still held grudges against him, but he was desperate. “Peter, could you alert the Avengers?” he couldn’t care less anymore about the rest of the Avengers knowing he was there. Without his magic, they needed every help they could get.

“Already called Bucky. He’ll let the others know, discretely.” The teenager looked at him and Loki nodded.

“Thank you.”

“I didn’t do it for you.”

“Fair enough.” It really wasn’t fair at all, but Loki had no desire to argue. This wasn’t about him, after all. He then sat next to Pepper again. “Pepper, I will need access to Stark’s workshop. We need to get FRIDAY back.”

Pepper nodded. “I’ll open it for you.”

Loki walked alongside her and they stood in front of the elevator. Loki turned to Peter, who remained seated on the couch, fiddling with his thumbs and looking just plain uncomfortable.

“Peter, I will need your assistance.” He gave the teenager a little smirk.

Despite how he felt, Peter jumped off his seat and joined them. At that moment Loki knew he was on the right path where Peter was concerned. He may never get to the forgive and forget part of things; and he wouldn’t mind it. But he might have a chance at Peter just accepting the past and moving on.

Emily was finishing up bandaging a patient when a nurse came in and told her the doctor needed to speak to her. She wondered what it was about and the nurse simply told her it’s better to talk to the doctor. That gave Emily a bad gut feeling. As she finished with the patient, she cleaned up and went to see the doctor in his office.

5 minutes later Emily was running out of the office and towards the elevators leading to the parking lot. She drove to the tower as fast as she could, parked her car in the underground garage and took the elevator to the penthouse.

The living room was buzzing with officers and SHIELD agents. She caught sight of Happy and was told Pepper and Loki were in the workshop. She immediately took the elevator down to the floor where the workshop was located.

As soon as she walked into the workshop and saw Pepper, she rushed to her cousin and both were crying in each other’s arms.

“The doctor just told me.” Emily spoke between sobs, “Pepper, we will find her.”

“Em, I don’t know what to do.” Pepper clung tightly to her. “FRIDAY is down and we don’t know who took my baby.”

Loki got up from where he was seated next to Peter, who was typing codes at an inhuman speed, and went to join the two women. In all the commotion, he had forgotten to send word to Emily. Thank whomever, probably Happy, who informed her. He took both women in his arms and kissed the top of Emily’s head. “We will find her. I promise on my mother’s soul and my honour, whoever had taken her will pay dearly.” Loki was seething with anger. He fought hard to keep a calm face, but the slight tremble in his body and the determination in his tone were already sign enough for Emily to know how he was feeling. She wrapped an arm around his waist and the other was around Pepper.

“We will find her, Pep.” She whispered, her voice cracking as yet another sob escaped her.

“Hey Ned, you home? Good, now listen, I’m gonna send you some codes. It’s urgent. FRIDAY is down. Yeah man.. no, just LISTEN! Yeah, sorry, its just.. Ned, listen, okay? Let me talk!” Peter held the phone between cheek and shoulder as he continued typing. “We need to get FRIDAY functional again, like yesterday, okay? Right. Code sent. Yeah, see that red line? I can’t get past that.”

Loki took Emily and Pepper to a couch on one side of the workshop and had them sit down. He held their hands in his trembling ones as he crouched in front of them. “Now listen to me, both of you. Once Peter gets FRIDAY back up, I will need your help. Pepper, I’ll need an armor, any kind of a battle gear, if you will, since I don’t have mine anymore and Thor’s is just too big. And weapons.” He then turned to Emily, “My love, I will need you to gather essential first aid material. Have them at the penthouse.”

“You don’t think they’d...” Emily gasped.

“Nonono, absolutely not!” he cupped her face. “No! I misspoke. I did not intend to imply they’d hurt her. It’s for us, since we don’t know who we are dealing with and getting any help at hand would be essential.” He then brought a hand to Pepper’s cheek. “Though not my own flesh and blood, if they dare to touch a single hair on her, the Chitauri attack would seem a child’s play. I promise you that.” 

Pepper placed her hand over Loki’s and smiled through tears. At this moment she was grateful he had entered their lives and had become a part of their family.

“I know it is very difficult right now to do so, but I need both of you to focus. Focus on Morgan. On Jess.”

“Wait, what about Jess?” Emily cocked her head. She didn’t know.

“Em,” Pepper turned to her and Loki took Emily’s hands into his. “Jess was babysitting when Morgan was kidnapped. She got shot.”

Emily gasped and squeezed at Loki’s hand. “Is she..”

“Critical, but alive.”

“Oh my God..” a new wave of tears started flooding her eyes and Loki pulled her into his arms. 

“She will be fine, my love.” He stroked her hair. “We..”

“Loki, I need a set of hands.” Peter called from behind the screen.

“Excuse me.” He kissed Emily on the lips and went to join Peter.

“Ned is sending a new code over. Copy that onto that screen there.” He pointed at a holo screen, “Karen says when the line turns green, you hit enter and a new code will show up. Add that to the other screen there.”

Pepper’s phone buzzed and she saw it was a message from Happy. Bucky, Sam and Wanda were upstairs. “The Avengers are here. I’ll go see them. You go check up on Jess and get the needed supplies.”

Between Loki and Peter at the workshop, Karen on Peter’s phone and Ned on the other side of the line, they worked for hours trying to bring down whatever was blocking FRIDAY.

-*-*-*-*-*-

“Ah, lovely.” A voice spoke as the group of four walked into the dimly lit room. The one holding Morgan put her on a table. “Put her in a proper bed. We cannot have the Stark child deprived of luxury if we want this to succeed.”

One of the men picked Morgan back up and took her to another room. This one was small and dark, with only a single bed on one side and a small window at the very top corner of it. He put her onto the bed and walked out, locking the door behind him.

“Sir, what is our next move?” one of the men asked.

“We let them wait, of course, before we present our demands.” The mutant known as Omega Red walked out of the shadows and grinned at his henchmen. “But for now, I must feed.”

He walked over to a cage, housing a young woman who was cowering in a corner. As he rattled the cage with his tentacles, she hissed at him, her eyes glowing yellow and baring her fangs.

“Lovely mutant, you are. You’ll do just fine for a couple of days, until I get my hands on the grand prize.” He extended his tentacles through the cage bars and wrapped it around her. Her screams and struggles fell upon deaf ears as he sucked her life energy off and let her lifeless body drop to the floor. He flexed his shoulders and smacked his lips, as if he had just eaten a three course meal. Mutants were the tastiest source of life energy for him.

“What is the grand prize, Sir?”

“Why the Asgardian mage, of course. He has magic. Once I devour his life source I will no longer need to feed on useless creatures.”

“Amazing, Sir.” The man said with a grin.

“Indeed. Now see that our little bargain chip does not cause too much trouble.”

“Yes, Sir. She shouldn’t wake up for a few more hours.”

“Good. Let’s start planning then.”

-*-*-*-*-*-

 _“I think there’s something physically blocking FRIDAY. You said they came from the roof, I think you should go look there.”_ Came Ned’s voice through Peter’s phone.

“Karen, could you ask Bucky and Sam to go have a look?” Peter said as he swiped a few screens and expanded another.

“Just did. They’ll look into it.”

“Cool, thanks.”

After getting the message from Karen, Bucky and Sam had gone to the roof to find whatever it was blocking FRIDAY. After finding the object and taking it off, Bucky crushed it with his metal hand and tossed it aside. The building buzzed with life as FRIDAY finally came online.

“Running system diagnostics.” She announced, forgoing the greetings. Loki and Peter held their breaths as they waited. “System up and running. Hello, boys. Pulling up surveillance from earlier in the day. This may take a moment.”

“YES!” both of them yelled and jumped off their seats, grabbing each other in a hug.

As soon as it happened, they pulled away from each other. Both awkwardly looking everywhere aside from each other.

“Sorry, reflex.” Peter said, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Yeah.” Loki cleared his throat.

The awkward silence didn’t last long as Peter finally looked at Loki. “Listen, man, I.. I don’t think I can ever forgive you for my parents.. but..”

“I swear to you, Peter, I did not kill them.” Loki looked at him, sincerity evident on his face.

Peter sighed, looking at his feet and then back at Loki. “I want to believe you, I really do. Maybe if I was told when it happened, I would have had time to come to terms with it. But..”

“I know what you mean.” Loki leaned against the table, crossing his arms. “Just like being told I was adopted and of a totally different race. If they had told me that as a child, maybe I wouldn’t have let go of Gungnir to fall into the Void.”

“Wait, you let go? Thor said you fell.” Peter eyed the God with curiosity. He couldn’t imagine Loki having suicidal tendencies. His own grieving was forgotten for the moment.

“It might have looked like that to him. But I let go. I had no reason to live.”

“Shit, man that’s horrible.”

Loki shrugged. “You’re raised a certain way, only to rudely discover your real heritage and purpose in life to be something you’ve been taught to despise. My world was shattered. There was nothing else for me to live for. Falling into Thanos’ hands was an unfortunate and unexpected occurrence.”

“So he just mind controlled you into invading us?”

“If only it were that easy.” Loki let out a bitter laugh. “That would have been a blessing. He tortured me into compliance, finishing it off with the Mind Stone.”

“Oh..” Peter knew some fragments about Loki’s encounter with Thanos. It was mainly that he was being mind controlled by the Titan and the Mind Stone, but no one really knew what happened that led to that.

“I kept fighting against the hold of the Stone.” Loki’s gaze darkened, “that’s why I did everything I could to throw off the invasion. And it worked for your realm, Stark managed to annihilate the Chitauri. It wasn’t that pleasant for me, though. Being Hulk smashed and then immediately being taken to Asgard and thrown into the dungeons without even hearing my side of things.” He shrugged, casting his eyes down as his hand went to rub at his chest. Stupid pain coming back again as he remembered those days. He closed his eyes and took slow, deep breaths. Those memories always triggered his anxiety, and he was getting better at recognizing them and calming himself in time. This was not a good time to lose it. It was hard, especially with his fear for Morgan’s wellbeing.

A hand over his shoulder made him open his eyes and look at the teenager standing next to him. For some reason Loki continued talking. “My mother died because of me.” His eyes were shining with tears threatening to come out. His chest felt like it was about to collapse on itself. “In a moment of fury I sent the dark elves into the palace. She died defending Jane Foster, while I was stuck in the dungeons with no way out. Had I not been in there, my mother might have been alive today.” By then he was hyperventilating and he fought hard against the tears and his own anxiety. He had to focus on the mission, on Morgan. He desperately needed to sit as the ringing in his ears intensified.

“Oh shit, mister Loki, breathe.. take deep breaths..” Peter started racking his brain trying to remember how he helped him the last time through an anxiety episode, while Loki had bent forward, with a hand over his ear and the other at his chest. It felt like the world was closing in on him. Then Peter remembered. “Mister Loki, okay, uhmm.. so I need to talk, to distract you right?” Loki nodded, eyes closed. “So I think I might have a crush on this girl from school. I don’t think she knows I exist, well, obviously she does, she’s a friend. I mean she doesn’t know I like her. And I don’t know how to tell her that. Ned is useless in these kind of things. Give him anything related to software and hardware and he’s the genius you’re looking for. Relationship advice? You’d get better advice from Morgan, if I’m being honest.”

At that, Loki collapsed on his knees to the ground, laughing. Peter was startled by the sudden change and he couldn’t help but smile, though still a bit shaken. “Mister Loki?”

“Relationship advice.. from Morgan..” Loki couldn’t stop laughing at the hilarity of it, nor could he stop the tears that started flowing down his cheeks. She would definitely come up with the most absurd advice a 5-year old could come up with.

Peter started laughing and sat down on the floor next to the God.

Loki shifted and sat down as well, crossing his legs and propping his elbows over his knees, while keeping his head low. The ringing in his ears was slowly subsiding. “Thank you, Peter, I didn’t know needed that.” He took deep breaths between chuckles and wiped his tears with the back of his hand. 

Peter smiled at him. “Mister Loki, Though I understand the circumstances, I may not be able to forgive just yet. But.. I’m willing to work on it, if you could give me some time?” He looked quite sincere as he spoke.

Loki smiled as he looked at the teenager, nodding. “You have eternity.”

“Thank you.”

“No, thank you for considering it.”

The doors to the workshop opened and Emily walked in. At first she didn’t see either of them and thought maybe they were out.

“Surveillance footage partially recovered. Audio of Morgan’s bedroom available.” Came FRIDAY’s voice and both of them stood up, startling Emily in the process.

“I thought the two of you were out!” she said and walked over to them.

“Nah, just taking a break.” Peter said, hands shoved into his pockets as he fidgeted in awkwardness.

“Just so you know, Peter, I tell her everything.” Loki said as Emily walked over to him and wrapped an arm around his waist.

“Everything?” Peter eyed them both.

“Everything.” Loki nodded, then turned to Emily. “We talked. We will work on our differences. And Peter just helped me through an episode.”

“Oh my God, are you okay?” her hand went to his chest.

“I am, love.” He kissed her forehead, and Peter had to avert his gaze. As innocent the gesture, it was still intimate. “I believe in time, we might even become friends.” He looked at Peter, hoping for his words to come true.

The teenager looked at them and nodded, smiling. “I think so too.”

“It’s similar to when you heard about your heritage, right?” Emily said and Loki nodded.

“Wow, you do tell her everything.” Peter grinned.

“First relationship advice, my future friend, always speak the truth with your beloved.” Loki said, looking at Emily with love in his eyes.

“Communication is key.” Emily said, looking back at him and giving him a soft peck on the lips.

“Let’s check the surveillance now. Do you want to watch as well?” 

“Yes.”

The three of them watched the screen as FRIDAY played the video in the corridor, Jess going to the kitchen, then it showed her opening the fridge and closing it after the lights inside started flickering. Then she opened it again and the lights continued flickering. She looked at the camera and her lips moved, calling for FRIDAY but there seemed to be no answer. She then took the juice and cookies and walked out. The screen changed to the corridor again, Jess dropped everything and ran to Morgan’s room. Emily took Loki’s hand in hers and held on tightly as the video came to an end.

“Now let’s play the audio.” Peter said and braced himself. Audio without imaging could sometimes have a stronger impact. And given that it was Morgan they were looking for, it was extremely difficult for all of them to hear her shrieking as she tried to escape.

Emily buried her face onto Loki’s arm and he let go of her hand, only to wrap his arm around her and hold her close. He pursed his lips as he braced himself against the emotions that were rising up his throat. His little friend was being chased around the room and she was calling for her mom, for Emily and even for him. Her screams were now forever etched into his memory.

They all gasped when they heard the single shot and Morgan’s even louder shriek tore through their souls. Then she was silent and the men shortly discussed what to do with Jess and soon they had left.

The audio finished playing and the three of them stood there dumbfounded. They could only imagine the horror Morgan had gone through. Her little mind would probably not be able to handle the amount of trauma. All they could do right now was to hope she was alright and that they would find her as soon as possible.

“Pepper should not hear this.” Peter felt nauseous and he was shaking. Mr. Stark would be disappointed in him for failing to protect his family. All because he was staying away from the tower.

“Mrs. Stark is listening to the audio in her office as we speak.” FRIDAY supplied.

“Loki, she’s going to be even more devastated.” Emily looked at him.

“Go to her, darling. Peter and I will try to see if we can figure out who these men were.”

“Could you ask the others to join us here if you see them?” Peter asked and Emily nodded before she left the workshop.

“Alright. We only have short snippets from them talking to each other. What can you gather from that?” Loki played the audio again, wincing every time he heard Morgan scream.

“They have an accent..” Peter closed his eyes to focus on the voices. “Probably East European..”

“Russian.” Bucky walked in with Sam close behind.

“You recognize it?” Loki said and Peter looked back and forth between the two. When the teenager had called Bucky, he had only mentioned Morgan being kidnapped and nothing about Loki.

“Yeah, kid, we’ve met before.” Bucky smirked at Peter then turned to Loki, raising his metal arm and pointing at it with the other. “And yes, courtesy of the Russian division of Hydra.”

Loki nodded, then turned his attention to a new face in the room that stood at a distance and stared at him. “The witch, I assume?”

The three others turned to look at Wanda, then Sam motioned for her to come closer. “Wanda, this is..”

“I know who he is.” She said, looking at Loki. “You have magic, but it’s missing.”

“Hang on, say what now?” Sam turned to Loki. “Don’t tell me you lost your mojo, man.”

Loki crossed his arms and nodded. “It expelled itself when I was resuscitated. I gave up on wanting it back.”

“It’s still there, though. Waiting.” Wanda said and Loki gave her a sharp look. He hoped that she wouldn’t mention _where_ exactly it was waiting. It seemed like she got the message, as her eyes flashed red for a slight second and she smirked. “Wanda Maximoff, the Scarlet Witch.” She reached out to Loki.

“Loki Odinson.” He shook her hand with a slight nod.

“Okay, now that everyone knows everyone, let’s get back to business.” Bucky said. “We heard the audio in Pepper’s office. Emily is with her, by the way. All we know so far is that they have Russian accent.”

“Safe to assume it’s the Russian mafia.” Peter scratched his neck.

“I could search Jess’ memories.” Wanda suggested. 

“That’s dope.” Peter grinned.

“Bucky, Sam, you stay here with Peter, I’ll go with Miss Maximoff to see Jess.” Loki announced.

“You can call me Wanda.” She smiled.

“You may call me Loki, then.”

With that, the two of them left, leaving the trio behind to continue working on the audio file.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So now _we_ know who has taken Morgan, but the team doesn't.. yet. If you are not familiar with Omega Red, well, join the club! Me neither lol. I guess we'll learn about him along with the others 😉
> 
> As you know, comments keep me motivated 😊


	43. Chapter 43

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki and Rhodey visit Doctor Strange.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the comments on the previous chapter! Here's a bit more search for Morgan.

Two days had passed and they still had no lead on where Morgan has been taken. Wanda couldn’t find anything useful from Jess’ memories aside from there being four men in black and a very terrified Morgan.

Pepper has been keeping mostly to herself, staying in Morgan’s room and hugging her favorite Iron Man plush. Emily had taken indefinite time off of work and had decided to move in at the tower along with Hugo to be at Pepper’s side at all times. There was no way she would be going home or to work under these circumstances.

With Loki’s help, she had put together a suitcase with everything she needed and brought it to her room at the penthouse. Pepper didn’t think it was necessary for Emily to move in, but she wasn’t against it either. In fact, she was rarely seen outside of Morgan’s room and she even refused food and drinks. Hugo kept to her side at all times.

“I worry about her.” Emily leaned against Loki’s shoulder as they sat in the living room.

“Is there anything we can do? Or anyone to call?”

“Well, the only person I know who could have been of help is dead.”

“Stark.” Loki sighed.

“Yeah. They always managed to get each other out of the gutter. I’m hoping Rhodey might be some sort of help.”

“When does he arrive?”

“Later in the evening. He’s been fighting with his superiors to get to come here. Apparently family emergency doesn’t count unless it’s direct family.” She huffed. “Stupid military rules.”

He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her head. “At least he finally managed.”

He hadn’t met Rhodey before and only knew that he was Tony’s best friend and by proxy, also Pepper’s. Loki couldn’t help but wonder how the man’s reaction would be upon seeing him there, but if he was being honest with himself, he wasn’t really concerned about it. Everyone’s concern right now was Morgan, and he’ll be damned if he would let petty hung up feelings about the invasion get him or the others distracted.

“I’ll go do some more searching around the block. Will you be alright with Pepper?”

“Yeah. Call if you find anything.”

“Definitely.” He leaned in and kissed her. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” She whispered and watched him get up and leave.

Loki walked the streets around the block, stopping people and showing them a picture of Morgan and asking if they had seen her. Those who bothered to stop hadn’t seen her, the rest simply ignored him.

A few years back and he would have laughed at anyone who suggested he would go to the streets looking for the child of his former enemy. He would have laughed even harder at the idea of him going to the streets at all. He would have sent his servants instead. The only time he was seen outside the palace was either when he was roaming the markets for potion or spell ingredients, or if he was out to hunt or to a battle with Thor and his group of friends. Otherwise, Loki had always kept to the inner walls of the golden palace.

But now there he was, on Midgard, desperately trying to find the little girl he came to love and cherish. The 5 year old little girl who didn’t take shit from him and delivered it back to him tenfold.

He wished he could get a hint on where to look, whom to ask. He silently prayed to the Norns to help him. He prayed to Odin and Frigga to guide him. He kept walking the streets, going into abandoned alleys and even into shady looking establishments. No one had seen her.

Defeated, Loki dragged his feet as he walked back to the tower. He went through the security, got his fingerprints and retinas scanned and headed to the elevator. The lump in his throat was just too heavy. He desperately wanted to cry. He wanted to scream, to let the world know his agony. But he couldn’t. He had to stay strong for Emily, for Pepper and most importantly, for Morgan. His Iron Maiden.

He walked into the penthouse with his head hung low, feeling utterly ashamed for not having a single clue where to look for her, for not being able to do more than just walk the streets looking for the little girl. Emily met him half way and wrapped her arms around him. He buried his face into the crook of her neck and they just stood there.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered.

“You’re doing the best you can. We’ll keep looking until we find her.” She ran her hand over his back.

Approaching footsteps had them look up and Loki tensed upon seeing a man he didn’t recognize approaching them from the corridor. It could only be Rhodey, since they weren’t expecting anyone else at that time of the evening.

“How is she?” Emily asked, letting go of Loki and holding his hand instead.

“Finally asleep.” He came to stand before them.

“Rhodey, this is Loki. Loki, this is Colonel James Rhodes, Rhodey.” Emily introduced them to each other.

“Gotta say when Pepper said Emily had met someone I didn’t expect it to be you. Didn’t even know you’re alive.” Even though his comment sounded like a jab, he still extended his hand towards Loki.

Loki took the offered hand and shook it. The tenseness in his shoulders softening a bit. “Story of my life.”

Rhodey chuckled. “Well, any other time I would probably have had something else to say. But given the circumstances, it’s good to have you on our side.”

“I only wish to have been able to do more than just go looking for her and come back empty handed.” Loki sighed, though he was glad the colonel didn’t bring up the invasion. A man with common sense. He could definitely respect that.

“SHIELD is looking for her as well. So far nothing.” He motioned towards the couches and they moved to go sit.

“Peter has been working with FRIDAY from the workshop. We barely managed to convince him to go crash in Cap’s old room earlier today to get some rest, while FRIDAY continues looking.” Emily sighed, feeling completely helpless being the only civilian with no super powers or an armor among the group of people she was associated with.

“Yeah, FRIDAY gave me the update while I was on the way. So far the only thing we know is that they’re Russian.” Rhodey sat back, crossing his arms and legs. “All I know is that FRIDAY is now looking into every and all kinds of Russian gangs and mafia. Any and every association with Stark Industries, no matter how insignificant. Even employees with a Russian background or a Russian family member or friends. Breach of privacy at its finest, but I couldn’t care less.”

“The feeling is mutual.” Loki added, squeezing Emily’s hand for reassurance.

“Okay, as much as I hate to say it, I’m gonna hit the hay. FRIDAY will wake us all up if she finds anything.” Rhodey stood up. “Don’t hesitate to wake me up if anything comes up either way.”

“Sure.” Emily nodded.

Once Rhodey had disappeared into the corridor, Emily leaned against Loki’s shoulder. “I don’t know what to do.”

“How about we go to bed, love? We can stay here for as long as we want. But it won’t help us or Morgan if we’re sleep deprived.” He knew he was bullshitting and he wouldn’t be closing an eye, but he needed her to rest.

“Stay with me?”

“It goes without saying, my love.” He kissed her temple.

-*-*-*-*-*-

Every time Loki drifted into sleep, he would jerk awake with nightmares, either concerning his past or Morgan’s kidnapping. 

Emily lay curled up against him, her head over his shoulder and an arm over his chest. He had both his arms around her, holding her like someone might come and snatch her from him. Finally giving up on sleep, he remained awake but didn’t move, not wanting to wake her up. She had been busy all day taking care of Pepper. She was physically and mentally exhausted. In fact, all of them were. Loki wondered where his oaf of a brother had been to. He hadn’t seen him for days and it wasn’t like Thor to not keep them updated about his whereabouts. He was probably working with SHIELD trying to find Morgan, but it didn’t excuse the fact that he wasn’t updating them on his progress.

Bruce was still on the East Coast, probably with no clue what was going on there. Somehow they had managed to keep the news away from the media. Loki had learned that Midgardian news agencies roamed frequently around the tower to get the latest hot news either about the Avengers or the company itself. He had seen Pepper verbally, though quite eloquently, fight them a few times, dissipating any rumours they would come up with. The reporters were like vultures most of the time. He was grateful to whatever force that prevented from the news about Morgan’s kidnapping from reaching them. It would have destroyed Pepper beyond repair if she had to deal with that, too. Especially now. The Iron Lady he knew was simply gone. Rescue needed to be rescued now and he had absolutely no idea how to do so.

Loki decided that the Hulk needs to be informed of the situation and come back as soon as possible. They might need his help. Maybe they should notify the wizard as well? A tracking spell could be a way to find Morgan.

Yes! A tracking spell! All they needed was an item of hers, certain ingredients and an incantation. Loki’s heart skipped a beat as he gasped upon the realization of what an idiot he had been. Wasting so much time when he could theoretically cast a tracking spell without using seiðr!

He looked past Emily, to the clock on the night stand. It was four in the morning. Good enough. He’ll get dressed and go see the wizard. There was no time to waste.

As carefully and slowly as he could, he pulled himself off of Emily, making sure she was laying comfortably and pulled the blankets over her. He tip-toed his way out of the bedroom and made sure he didn’t make any noise when closing the door.

“FRIDAY, if Emily wakes up, please inform her I’m visiting the wizard.” He whispered, knowing the AI could hear him.

“Sure, Mr. Odinson.” FRIDAY replied in a hushed tone.

As he reached the living room, he saw the dim lights were on and Rhodey was sitting on the couch with a mug in his hand.

“Can’t sleep either, huh?” the colonel turned to him.

“Not at all.” Loki replied, coming to a halt. “I’m going to see the wizard.”

“Strange? How can he help?”

“Tracking spell.” Loki ran a hand through his hair. “I got so caught up in everything it didn’t cross my mind.”

“Can’t you do that yourself?”

Loki’s shoulders slumped. “I don’t have magic anymore.”

“Oh..” Rhodey sighed, eyeing his mug. “Sorry about that.”

“Ancient history, as Midgardians say. For now, I’ll go see what the wizard can do. I can perform a tracking spell without my seiðr, I just lack the needed ingredients... Speaking of..” he realized he hadn’t picked up anything of Morgan with him, so he darted back through the corridor. A few seconds later he came back with her hair brush and her favorite Iron Man plushie.

Rhodey raised an eyebrow seeing what Loki had brought along. “And that’s gonna help how exactly?”

“I’ll tell you on the way if you want to come along. I just need to quickly go change.”

“Alright, meet you downstairs in 5.”

Nodding, Loki took the stairs and went to his room. He changed his clothes in record time and within five minutes he was already waiting for Rhodey at the elevator. As soon as the colonel joined him, they were on their way.

“You think he’d be awake?” Rhodey asked while they were ascending.

“Who cares.” Loki shrugged, holding Morgan’s possessions tightly against his chest. That didn’t go unnoticed by Rhodey.

“Okay, I’m sorry, but I gotta ask.” The colonel crossed his arms as he faced the God. “Why are you so concerned? I mean, after all it’s your enemy’s daughter.”

Any other time and Loki would have snorted in amusement at the man’s ignorance. Today was not one of those times. He squared his shoulders and raised his chin as he spoke. “Stark and I might have been enemies, given my past actions. But Morgan is now my family. So are Pepper and Emily. They have been even before my relationship with Emily. I would do anything to see them safe.”

Rhodey smiled. He could see sincerity and determination in the God’s eyes. “Good to know. Well, they happen to be my family as well. So, in a way, welcome to the family.” He reached his hand out to Loki, which the God shook.

“Thank you, colonel.”

“Call me Rhodey.”

“Thank you, Rhodey.” Loki grinned.

They went to the underground garage and stood in front of a row of cars.

“Got a car?” Rhodey asked.

“I can’t drive.”

“How were you going to get to Strange, then? Okay, don’t answer that. Let’s see which car can we take. FRIDAY?”

The lights of a car not too far from them started blinking. Rhodey smirked as he motioned for Loki to follow him and they climbed into it.

“You should totally get a license.” Rhodey pressed the ignition button and drove off. “If you’re gonna settle in New York, you definitely need to know how to drive.”

“I don’t really go further than the park around the corner. Anywhere else, I always go with Emily.”

“Still, you never know when you would be required to drive.”

Loki thought about it for a moment. “You do have a point there.” Being able to drive was seen as a necessity in the city he had learned to call home. If he was to be fully integrated into the Midgardian society, he should learn as many things people took for granted as possible. Driving being one of those things. Say he was at Emily’s place and she got hurt and he needed to bring her to the nearest hospital, or if she was sick and he needed to fetch her something that required him to go a distance. Yep, he definitely needed to learn driving, especially since he couldn’t teleport anymore.

The rest of the drive went in silence. Rhodey noticed from the corner of his eye how Loki was tightly holding on to the Iron Man plush against his chest. He knew Morgan was amazing at making friends and having people get attached to her. He simply hadn’t expected Loki to ever be one of those people. Technically, he hadn’t expected the Asgardian to be alive to begin with, let alone residing at the tower. He had so many questions about that and about how he ended up at the there. But those questions could wait until another time when they had Morgan back safe and sound.

They finally arrived at 177A Bleecker Street and after parking the car, they walked over to the entrance and Loki knocked several times, hoping someone would be awake.

A few moments later a grumpy looking Wong opened the door and glared at the two. 

“Do you know what time it is?”

“Time to wake up and help us find Morgan Stark.” Loki said and walked past the sorcerer, who blinked, instantly wide awake at the intrusion.

“Wait, what?”

“Where’s the wizard? Strange!” Loki called.

“Uh.. sorry about that, but it is kind of urgent.” Rhodey walked in after Loki.

“Stop yelling, will ya? You’ll wake everyone up!” Wong simply grumbled at them.

“Get me the wizard.” Loki noticed the lack of nausea this time inside of the Sanctum. Strange must have adjusted his wards to exclude him as a threat.

“He means please.” Rhodey glared at Loki. Was he having another Tony at his hands?

Loki rolled his eyes. He was getting impatient and every minute counted.

Doctor Strange didn’t leave them waiting for long, for soon he was coming down the staircase, with his cloak hovering at his side. At the sight of Loki, the cloak attached itself to his shoulders and Strange gave it a pat, knowing seiðr-less Loki was no threat to them.

“What brings you here at this hour, Odinson? Hey, Rhodey.”

“Hey.”

“Morgan Stark has been kidnapped and I need to cast a tracking spell.”

“You don’t need your seiðr to do that.” Strange came to stand before the God, his hands clasping behind his back.

“I lack the needed ingredients. I only have Morgan’s possessions.” Loki held the plushie and hair brush for Strange to see.

“Very well. Follow me.”

Loki and Rhodey followed Strange into a room. Loki was grateful the wizard didn’t transport them from one area to the other like he did the time he was here with Thor. The sudden change of spaces always made him lose balance and he hated looking like an idiot every time it happened. The room they walked into looked like an office space, with a large desk in the middle and fully stacked bookshelves adorning the walls.

Doctor Strange went to one of the shelves at the back and pulled a book out. He opened it on the page he was looking for and placed it on the desk. “Here’s what we need.. you got something of hers.” he looked at Loki, who held the plushie and the brush still close to his chest. “Ok.. I’ll need to gather some of the ingredients. Wong, please fetch us these crystals from the London Sanctum.”

“We’re dabbing into witchcraft now?” Wong huffed as he opened a portal for himself to step through. 

“Is he always this grumpy?” Rhodey asked as he watched Wong step through the portal.

“He hasn’t had his morning coffee yet.” Strange replied, while he read the instructions for the spell.

Loki stepped next to him and started reading as well. “Says we need a map of the area. We don’t know whether she’s still in New York.”

“She better be.” Rhodey sighed. “How accurate is this thing anyway?”

“It varies.” Loki eyed the page. “I’d say we use a potion, as it gives the most accurate result.”

“Agreed. I’ll get the rest of the ingredients. You two stay here and don’t touch anything.” Strange looked at Loki in particular, assuming the Asgardian would be as curious and touchy as his brother was.

Loki nodded. While the temptation to look around the place was there, he knew better than to go on an exploration tour. They didn’t have time for that and he definitely had his priorities in check.

After a while, Strange came back with a few vials and other items. He lay them on the desk. “A personal item.” He reached out his hand towards Loki and the Iron Man plushie was handed to him. He placed it on the desk.

Doctor Strange then grabbed the rest of the ingredients and walked over to the other side of the room, where a cauldron was standing over a table. Next to it a leather bound book on an ornate stand. There was a symbol on the book that caught Loki’s attention. He walked over to it and stared. The symbol looked familiar, though he couldn’t remember where he had seen it before.

“The Book of Shadows.” Strange said, filling the cauldron with ingredients and pouring some liquid over them from a couple of vials. “It was acquired by the Ancient One centuries ago during the Salem witch trials.”

“You mean those witches were actually real?” Rhodey cocked his head. At this point nothing should have surprised him, but there he was, surprised by the fact that witches were real.

“I thought you knew better by now, Colonel.” Strange smirked.

“You’re using a different spell now than the one for locating Odin.” Loki noted. According to what Thor had told him about the encounter -while he was falling for thirty minutes, the memory of which caused him to shudder- Strange had only required a strand of hair from Thor and didn’t use any additional ingredients. What Strange was doing now was more the way Loki knew how to do a locator spell, though with some difference in ingredients, but the same concept nonetheless.

“Same spell, different species to locate and thus, different method and ingredients.” Loki nodded as the sorcerer spoke. “Besides, I knew where Odin was. I took him there. Just needed a precise location to open the portal to.”

At that moment a portal opened and Wong came back, handing over two crystals to Strange. One was white, as large as an apple. The other was light pink and as small as a grape. Strange mumbled his thanks and placed the white crystal on the desk and crushed the pink one between his palms over the cauldron. He then started an incantation that ignited a blue flame underneath the cauldron as he mixed the ingredients within. They soon turned into a glowing liquid, which started bubbling at the edges. Strange then turned to Loki once more. “I need a strand of hair.” At which, Loki carefully removed a strand of hair from Morgan’s brush and gave it to the sorcerer. Strange held the hair from each end and while still mumbling the incantation, the hair glowed and golden sparks erupted from his fingertips. He brought both hands together, moving the strand of hair in a certain pattern over the cauldron until it dissolved into a golden powder and fell into the brewing liquid. With a final incantation and a stir, the liquid stopped glowing and turned a light shade of pink.

Strange filled two small vials with the liquid and walked over to the desk. Loki and Rhodey were watching him closely. Loki taking in every step and every word the sorcerer was mumbling, trying to memorize them for future use. He was glad the sorcerer took it upon himself to cast the spell, which was working much faster than any spell he would have done.

Damn whatever reason that caused his seiðr to leave his body.

Oh yes, it was the electrical shock to save his life.

He can forgive that, given the person who did it was Emily.

His warm thoughts were interrupted when he saw Strange pouring the liquid of on vial onto the white crystal and the other onto the Iron Man plushie.

Both items glowed white for a minute, and then purple. Strange picked up the crystal and squeezed it between his palms. Fiery strands sparkled around it and the crystal turned into a map in his hand. He smiled at his achievement and turned to Loki and Rhodey.

“There she is.” A red dot appeared in the Upper New York Bay.

“That’s the Liberty Island,” Rhodey looked closer at the map. “You think they’re keeping her at the monument?”

“Maybe an underground base.” Loki felt his heartbeat gaining speed. “We need to go.”

“Take this with you.” Strange grabbed the Iron Man plushie, which wasn’t glowing anymore and handed it to Loki. “It will glow purple the closer you get to her.”

“Thank you, Sorcerer Supreme. I am indebted to you.” 

“Just don’t try to invade us ever again and we’re good.” Strange smirked.

They drove back to the tower as fast as they could. Both overwhelmed with the knowledge of Morgan’s location. Loki was fighting hard against the anxiety that threatened to attack. He kept fidgeting in his seat as he held the plushie tightly against his chest.

Just a bit more and they can go save his Iron Maiden from whomever had dared to kidnap her.

“We better tell the others to come.” Rhodey said, taking out his phone and handing it to Loki. “Do any of the Avengers know you’re here?”

“Everyone aside from Hawkeye.” He took the phone. “Do you have Bucky’s number saved? Or Sam’s?”

“Got both.”

Bucky’s name was at the top of the contact list, so Loki called him and informed him that they have a location and for the Avengers to meet them at the tower as soon as possible. Bucky informed him they’ll be there within two hours, given that they need to wait for Clint to join them. While two hours seemed a long time, Loki realized they’ll need the time to strategize anyway. 

Nothing was to be left to chance. Everything needed to be calculated to the smallest detail. 

If they dared to touch a single hair of Morgan, he will unleash the wrath of a thousand Jotnar on them single handedly if he needed to. No, he'll unleash the wrath of a thousand Jotnar single handedly regardless. They had kidnapped _his_ Iron Maiden, _his niece_ and they will pay dearly for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We found her! At least a general location. But still!
> 
> The locator spell is a mix of bits and pieces of spells I read on witchcraft websites, and the spell Strange used to locate Odin was shown in the deleted scenes from Thor: Ragnarok.
> 
> Keep the comments coming, please! They motivate me to the point that I have started yet another story and have the first chapter ready. Might post it once I'm sure it's good enough to be shared xD


	44. Chapter 44

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone for the comments and kudos! They honestly brighten my day!
> 
> This chapter was one I've been looking forward to posting. It's where a certain Avenger finally shows up.

As soon as they reached the tower, Loki instructed FRIDAY to wake both Emily and Pepper up. He also asked her to send after Thor and if possible, the Hulk. He had no idea if the green doctor would make it back in time, but it wouldn’t hurt to let him know.

Once they reached the penthouse, both women were waiting for them in the living room, both looking half-asleep and alarmed.

“We have a location.” Loki said the moment he walked in, Rhodey following close by. Emily rushed to him and hugged him tight.

“Where.” Pepper stood up, suddenly fully awake. Her baby was found and there was no time to waste.

“Liberty Island.” Rhodey said. “The Avengers are joining us in a couple of hours. Pep, we need to plan this properly before we go there.”

“We do not want to risk anything going wrong.” Loki added, holding Emily tight in his arms.

Pepper took in a deep breath and crossed her arms against her chest. “I want my baby back.” Her voice quivered and Rhodey took her in his arms.

“We will get her back, Pep. I promise you.” He spoke softly and she started crying against his shoulder. “Come, let’s sit down while we wait for the others to join us.”

Loki and Emily went to her bedroom and Loki told her about how they found the location. He also kept apologizing for not thinking of it from the beginning.

“Loki, stop apologizing about it. We’re all so overwhelmed we can’t think of things immediately. But now we have a location, so that’s good, right?”

“We still do not know who has taken her.”

“Mr. Parker has just gotten a lead on that.” FRIDAY spoke suddenly, both Loki and Emily perked up.

“Was he up all night?” Emily asked. She thought he had gone to bed after she had forced him to do so.

“Indeed he was.” Came the reply. “Mrs. Stark and colonel Rhodes are on their way to the workshop now getting the details. “I could relay them to you if you want?”

“Please do.” Loki said, not skipping a heartbeat.

“The kidnapping has been organized by the members of the Red Mafia.”

“Red Mafia?” Loki asked.

“The Russian mafia.” Emily said, suddenly feeling nauseous. Loki wrapped an arm around her shoulders, gently pulling her close to him as he felt her distress.

“Indeed. The Russian mafia is a collective of various organized crime elements originating in the former Soviet Union.” The AI explained.

“Thank you, FRIDAY.” Loki said and turned to Emily. “I’ll go to the workshop and see if Pepper has some protective gear and weapons for me. Will you be alright, love?”

Emily nodded. She was starting to fear for Loki’s life. She knew he could fight, but even so, dealing with the Russian mafia was different. Their network was extremely vast and dangerous. Once under their radar, you were no more safe until they got what they wanted from you. And even after that there was no telling whether you’d survive them or not. She was terrified of the thought that something might happen to either Loki or Morgan.

As she watched her boyfriend leave the room, she got up and started getting dressed. There was no way in hell she would be staying at the tower while everyone was about to go save her niece. She didn’t care that she couldn’t fight like they did, nor did she care that she lacked any superpowers or skills. She will be there too and no one would stop her. Morgan needed at least one familiar, civilian face among all the weapons and gears.

-*-*-*-*-*-

Loki came back after about an hour, fully geared in a black non-reflective uniform supplied by SHIELD, which Thor had brought along for him. To Emily’s surprise, he didn’t carry any guns or a rifle. Instead, he had knives and daggers hanging from his belt and strapped to his thighs and arms.

“That’s..” she eyed him worriedly, “you’re not carrying any guns.”

“I fight best with daggers. These will do fine. Thor knew this, got them for me from SHIELD.”

“Loki, I’m scared.. and worried.” She walked into his embrace. “I don’t want you to go without me. I’m not going to stay here and wait.”

“No, my love. Please, understand. I need you to stay here. We don’t know what we’re dealing with and I want you out of harm’s way.”

“I promise to stay out of the way. I believe Morgan needs to see at least one of us out of battle gear. She will need familiarity, Loki. I’m coming. End of discussion.” She pressed her arms to her sides. On the one hand, showing resilience and on the other, to keep her trembling hidden as much as possible.

Loki took her hands in his, seeing how she was trying hard to hide the fact that she was scared shitless. They stood in the living room and he tried to calm Emily by promising her he will find Morgan and bring her back home. It only seemed to work a little, for the nurse was shaking in fear and frustration. Her friend was still in critical condition and her little niece was kidnapped from right under their noses. With all the security in the tower and especially the penthouse, they couldn’t even stop it from happening. Up until that moment, Emily had been keeping a brave face on for Pepper’s sake. It was starting to crumble. In addition to that, her boyfriend refused to let her tag along, even when she promised she’d stay out of the way. 

They now had a location and the name of an organization. Loki was geared up to leave with the Avengers and go save Morgan. That scared the hell out of Emily, which was a part of the reason why she had been insisting to come along.

FRIDAY announced that Hawkeye, the Winter Soldier and the Falcon will be arriving soon. Loki and Emily stood side-by-side as the elevator doors slid open and the three Avengers walked out.

Upon seeing Loki, Hawkeye didn’t waste a second and drew an arrow and shot in Loki’s direction. Sam and Bucky yelled in unison, not expecting that from him.

Emily gasped and without thinking she turned her back to the men before them and came to stand in front of Loki, in an attempt to shield him from the arrow coming his way. Loki, in the same speed, wrapped an arm around her waist and swiftly turned them both aside, and with the other hand he caught the arrow when it was merely a few inches from his face. It all happened so fast, that Emily didn’t have time to register what just happened and stood frozen against Loki’s protective chest.

“That’s dope.” Sam mumbled and Bucky nodded in agreement.

Glaring at Hawkeye, Loki snapped the arrow with one hand in two pieces and threw it aside, bringing his arm to wrap around Emily’s shoulders, shielding her completely. Hawkeye had drawn a second arrow and was about to release it as well, but stopped when Loki wrapped both arms around Emily.

Keeping his eyes fixated on Hawkeye, Loki lowered his head to Emily’s ears. “Are you alright?”

Her face was buried in his chest, hands on both sides of her head and she was shaking like a leaf. Nevertheless she nodded, but didn’t move otherwise.

“I suggest you cease your attack.” Loki straightened up, Emily still in his protective embrace.

“You don’t tell me what to do. Now step away from her or..” Hawkeye said and was about to shoot when FRIDAY spoke.

“Avengers, Mrs. Stark will be joining you immediately. Please refrain from using weaponry.”

That seemed to confuse Clint as he stared at Sam and Bucky, who shrugged. Nevertheless, he kept his eyes on Loki and didn’t lower his weapon.

“Are you nuts?” Sam came to Clint’s side. “You said you’d behave!”

“You didn’t tell me he was here!”

Loki ignored their presence and turned his back to them, with Emily still in his arms. He knew turning his back to whomever threatened to shoot at him was a very, _very_ wrong move and most definitely stupid, but he didn’t care. His number one priority was in his arms. He pulled back a little bit from the embrace to look at her face. She was crying.

“It’s alright,” he whispered and ran his fingers through her hair, removing a couple of strands that were obscuring her face. “Nothing will happen to you. I’m going to gut him like a fish once we bring Morgan back.” His soft voice was seething with anger.

“It’s not me I’m worried about.” She buried her face back into his chest and wrapped her arms around him, pulling him close. He kissed the top of her head and held her tight. Hawkeye will have a lot of apologizing to do to her later. If it weren’t for the sake of finding Morgan, he would have reacted differently to Hawkeye’s attack.

With that in mind, he loosened his embrace just a bit so he could walk her to the sofa. She sat down and he knelt before her. Well, here was the only other mortal he would willingly kneel before. He ran his hand through her hair once more and brought his palm to rest on her cheek, wiping a tear with his thumb and gave her a gentle smile. “I’ll be right back, love. Will you be alright?” he whispered and she nodded.

He got up, straightening his shoulders and walked head high towards the three Avengers. He stood before them and crossed his arms over his chest. Though he so wanted to plant his fists in Hawkeye’s face, he had to restrain himself for Emily’s sake.

“Explain yourself,” he demanded.

Clint snorted. “Me? You’re the one who has some explaining to do!” he spat. “What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be dead? Are you controlling her mind like you did with me?” Clint was fuming and he was about to advance at Loki, but Bucky put a hand on his shoulder.

“Clint, you’re being irrational.” The Winter Soldier was oddly calm. “Let’s wait for Pepper.”

“I have done no such thing.” Loki replied, voice calm but dripping with venom. How _dare_ accuse him of such thing?! “If it weren’t for her, _you_ wouldn’t have been standing here for so long, mortal.”

Clint dropped his aim and looked from Loki to Emily and back to Loki. “Wait,” he turned to Sam, “when you said Emily’s boyfriend would be here..” Sam nodded, giving him a look that said ‘duh!’. Clint covered his mouth with his palm, then ran his hand through his hair while he started pacing back and forth, his thoughts all jumbled up. He turned to the two Avengers, “and you didn’t find it necessary to clarify the Mr. Odinson FRIDAY mentioned was him and not Thor before we got here because?”

“Thor?” Sam threw Emily a glance, she was sitting with her elbows over her knees, her forehead resting over her fists. Her and Thor? He tilted his head, trying to imagine them standing next to each other like he often saw Loki at her side. “Nah, I don’t see it.” He shook his head, more to himself than anything, though he did catch Loki’s death glare directed at him for even the thought of Emily ever being with anyone but himself.

And Loki had no idea where that sudden feeling of jealousy came from. He trusted both Emily and his brother with his life. Though at the same time, he was pleased that Sam concluded that Emily and Thor weren’t even suitable for each other. It didn’t mean that he wasn’t feeling that little flame being ignited with him, the one that would make him rip anyone’s head off should they try to make advances towards his Emily.

 _His_ Emily. She wasn’t his property. She didn’t belong to him, yet at the same time she did. She was his soul. His salvation. His reason to breathe and his reason to live. She was his family.

“Cap was pretty cool about meeting him, we figured you’d be too.” Bucky explained, shrugging like it should have been a given.

“Idiots.” Clint mumbled under his nose and made his way to Emily. Loki was fast to go and stand between them.

“Out of the way.” Clint demanded.

“No.” Loki replied, chin held high as he glared down at Clint.

“Move or you will be moved.”

“I’d like to see you try.” Loki smirked, challenging the assassin.

“Loki, it’s okay.” Emily raised her head before she got up and went to stand by his side. She put her hand over his back and gave him a little smile before stepping forward and standing before Clint. Sam eyed them both, nodded to himself with a smirk. Now _that_ he could definitely see.

“Em, I’m really sorry for earlier. I was aiming at him.” He glared at Loki for a moment before he turned to look at her and his gaze softened.

“I’d appreciate it if you didn’t try to hurt my boyfriend, Clint.” The smile on her face disappeared and was replaced with a frown. “We have a much bigger issue at hand than your feud with him. And besides, if you want to get to him you’ll have to first go through me, and I know for a fact you won’t do that.” She took a step forward so she was standing in front of Loki.

Clint gave it a thought for a moment, then let a little smile tug at his lips. “You’re lucky Laura and I like you.” He grinned and spread his arms. Emily smiled and walked over to give him a hug. “I don’t trust him.” He whispered in her ears.

“You don’t have to, because I do. With my life.” She replied, also whispering.

“You’re crazy, and I still think he put you under some spell. But it’s good to see you again.” He pulled away from the hug.

“You too.” She said then turned to the other two. “Hey, you guys.” She waved at Sam and Bucky. They felt a bit uneasy about the exchange happening before them. Their first meeting with Loki had gone much smoother than this, though they figured maybe the Battle of New York and Clint having been mind controlled by Loki back then had a lot to do with it. 

Clint started looking around. He hasn’t been at the tower for a while. Not much has changed, just a few small adjustments here and there in terms of furniture having moved and the decorations being different. He wondered if his room was still there.

Pepper walked out of the elevator at that moment looking dishevelled. Clint saw her and rushed over, taking her into his arms and hugging her tightly.

“Pep, I’m so sorry. I came as soon as I heard.”

“They got my baby, Clint.” The tears didn’t seem to want to stop. Every time she mentioned or even thought about Morgan she started crying.

“And they will pay dearly for it.” Loki said.

“That they will.” Clint looked at Loki. At least there was one thing they agreed on. He needed to focus on that instead of “accidentally” shooting an arrow into his eye socket. Maybe he would still get to do that after they got Morgan back.

Once Thor, Wanda and Peter joined them, the group sat down to strategize their moves. They went over the map Strange had given them, alongside a regular map of the area and a blueprint of the memorial.

A quinjet was waiting for them on the roof. They were starting to get into the elevator when FRIDAY spoke.

“Boss, there’s a message for you.”

“It can wait.”

“Boss, it’s the kidnappers.”

Pepper froze and Emily rushed to her side, taking her hand in hers. “Let’s hear it.”

A heavy Russian accented voice was heard through the speakers. “Greetings, Mrs. Stark. As you are now very well aware, we have your daughter. Such a lovely little girl she is, full of life.”

Loki’s blood froze in his veins as he heard Morgan’s cries in the background. Pepper held on to Emily, trying not to lose it before she heard the whole message.

“What we want is very simple. An exchange. Your daughter for the Asgardian sorcerer.”

Both Emily and Pepper gasped and turned to look at Loki, who simply furrowed his eyebrows and cocked his head to the side. Why did they want him? He had nothing to offer those people. _He_ was nothing.

“You have 24 hours to give it a thought. We will send you coordinates on where to deliver the Asgardian. If not, then you can say your goodbyes to your daughter right now, since you won’t be seeing her anymore.” He let Morgan’s cries be heard through the message for a few seconds before he spoke again. “24 hours, Mrs. Stark. The Asgardian for your daughter.” And the message was finished.

“No...” Pepper whispered, shocked and overwhelmed.

Loki squared his shoulders and walked up to her. “Pepper, we're going there. I’ll hand myself over and you’ll get Morgan back.” He said in a calm, calculated voice. There was not an ounce of hesitation in him. At any other time he would have immediately tried to scheme a way to succeed and get himself out of it at the same time. But this time it was different, just as it was when he stepped forward before Thanos and selflessly delivered himself to the Mad Titan.

“Are you nuts?” Both women yelled at him, making him take a step back, blinking.

“Loki, we are getting my daughter back _without_ handing you over.” Pepper said and patted Emily’s hand then held it tightly. Loki was shaking his head, opened his mouth to reply when Pepper raised a finger at him, making him shut his mouth like the several times his mother did the exact same thing with him when she was scolding him. Even Thor took a tentative step back while Pepper was in full mom-mode at that moment. “The Starks do NOT leave family behind.” Pepper turned her gaze to one of FRIDAY’s sensors. “FRIDAY, activate the Ultimate Armor protocol, temporary user Loki Odinson.”

FRIDAY’s sensors scanned Pepper’s face and retinas. “Mrs. Pepper Potts-Stark identified. Ultimate Armor protocol activating.”

Loki raised an eyebrow at her, wondering what was going on. Emily was wondering the same and she practically jumped when she saw an Iron Man suit land on the terrace outside and walk through the glass doors.

“That’s..” she started, and Rhodey came to her side.

“Mark 47.” He said.

“Codename, Ultimate Armor.” Pepper concluded and turned to Loki. “If Tony was here, he would have wanted you to wear it when saving our daughter.” She smiled. “Now that we know you’re also a target, we need to protect you, too.”

“I..” Loki was speechless, to say the least. He moved his mouth, but nothing came out. His heart was beating frantically against his chest as he watched the suit of armor walking towards him. It stood before him and the front opened up, waiting for him to step in.

“Go on.” Pepper said, managing a smile. “You’ll be able to use it for the time we are getting Morgan back.”

He looked at Pepper, his eyes gleaming with unshed tears. This was too much. A great honour bestowed upon him and despite the millennia of royal training in the art of speech, he could not form a simple word.

“Brother,” Thor spoke softly from behind, “we have no time to waste.”

Loki let out a breath he had no idea he was holding and nodded. “Yes.” He looked at Pepper, “I will not let you down.” He then turned to Emily, who smiled at him. “Either of you.”

He took off as much of his protective gear as possible, only keeping a few daggers strapped to his side and stepped into the armor. It wrapped itself around him, adjusting the size for a perfect fit. Peter was grinning widely from near the elevator as he watched Loki get into the suit. He remembered the suit being the one Tony wore when he came to berate him on the roof of a building about not following orders right after the events on the ferry. The memory made Peter swallow a lump in his throat. He missed Mr. Stark, especially at that moment.

As the faceplate closed over Loki’s face, the HUD was activated and FRIDAY greeted him.

“Good morning, Mr. Odinson.”

“FRIDAY, I know nothing about operating this suit.”

“I will be with you all the way.”

“Thank you. I’d like to open the face please.”

The helmet retracted and he was met with Emily’s proud, grinning face. He grinned back.

“You look smashing.” She said and stepped closer to him, pulling him down for a kiss. “Go get ‘em, tiger. I’ll be watching from the quinjet.

“Em..”

“Hush, I’m coming along. I’ll stay in the quinjet. Safe and sound.”

He sighed and nodded. There was no use into arguing about it. If she stayed in the quinjet, she would be safe. That was good enough.

“Alright, let’s go get my baby back.” Pepper tapped on the arc reactor she put on her chest and Rescue formed around her. She didn’t care who the caller was. FRIDAY will inform her soon enough. There was no time to waste. Her daughter was alive and distressed. She was going to bring her back. “Everyone to the quinjet. Loki, Rhodey, Thor, Sam, you’re with me.”

With that being said, the five of them flew out of the terrace door while the others headed to the roof.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loki and Clint's interaction was way cooler in my head, I swear. I feel like I could have done more, but the way it went was somehow good enough, since their focus atm is Morgan and both have enough common sense to keep their ego in check.
> 
> I'm working on editing the next chapter. And for once I don't have at least 4 future chapters written ahead lol. I'm in process of writing chapter 45 and have some nice ideas for future chapters :)
> 
> Let me know what you thought of this chapter. I love hearing your thoughts!


	45. Chapter 45

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments on the previous chapter!
> 
> In this chapter we finally get to know who has kidnapped Morgan. Also, keep in mind that I've never been to Liberty Island (or to the US, for that matter), so I don't really know the area to describe it properly. But, for the sake of the story, let's pretend I know what I'm writing about lol. I basically grabbed a photo off Google, and decided the area is much bigger than what it appears. I just needed some land lol (could've gone for anywhere else, but nope, it had to be a tiny island haha)
> 
> Anyway, enjoy!

Red eyes followed the little girl’s every movement as she was brought from the small room she had been kept in. The tear stained face and sweat stricken hair on the 5-year old didn’t phase him. Not as much as the energy she radiated did. While not a mutant or a superhero, she had potential. She could be a delicious meal that he could devour in seconds. Though he kept his pheromones in check. The mutant’s life energy he had consumed not even two days ago had been sufficient to dampen his urges to devour even more life. He also needed his bargaining chip to be alive and whole when he would call for a ransom.

If he could lay his Carbonadium tendrils around the Asgardian’s neck, he would be able to live off his life energy for hundreds, if not thousands of years. Maybe he could suck the life off that bulky brother of his as well. So much to gain with nothing to lose. The thought was tempting, but one step at a time. The younger Asgardian’s life energy had priority. That one contained magic he could very well use to his advantage.

He watched as the little girl was ushered to a table and some food was practically shoved to her face. She crossed her arms and turned her face around with a frown, refusing to eat.

He smirked at the stubbornness she exhibited. His henchman was trying desperately to get her to eat, but no form of coaxing was working. Yelling at her only served to make her cry and try to run, which resulted in her being carried back to the room they locked her up in.

“Her cries are getting tedious.” The leader noted. He reached a tentacle out to the abandoned food on the table and pulled it close to him. Scrambled eggs. He pushed the plate away and got up, walking around the room and observing his henchmen working in front of computer screens. They were following surveillance around and inside the Stark Tower, keeping a watchful eye on the God he so badly wanted to capture.

He noticed the young woman the God seemed to be around quite a lot. Maybe he could have her as well. It hadn’t been too long since the last time he had bedded a resisting companion and this one seemed to have a spark within her that would make for an interesting night.. or day. He didn’t really mind the time of day when it came to that.

He smirked when he remembered his various missions in Siberia in the late 50’s, or was it the early 60’s? He didn’t care to remember anymore. Serving for the USSR’s Spetsnaz had its merits. He secretly raped and murdered young girls whenever the opportunity presented itself. If only his traitor fellow soldiers hadn’t discovered him and tried to execute him, he would have still been enjoying life as a border patrol commando. Though in a way, being discovered was a blessing. It was after the court martial that he was drafted to the super soldier program. While it was pure torture, it did gain him the enhancements he had today. Sure, it changed his skin colour from pale Caucasian to chalk white, but in addition to his mutation, the USSR completed his transformation by implanting him with Carbonadium retractable tentacles, through which he would better control and use his mutant powers, enabling him to focus his Death Factor on a single person instead of anyone within his vicinity. However, before his transformation was completed, the Carbonadium Synthesizer was stolen by some mutants. Team X they were called. That is why he now had to rely on draining the life energy of others in order to survive. Had the transformation been completed, he could have forgone that. He needed to release the pheromones or they would start eroding his own body. By doing that he would need energy, which he had regularly obtained from unwilling suppliers. Not that he felt any remorse, no. He was simply growing bored and tired of seeking life energy every few days. The Asgardian’s life energy would help complete the transformation, ridding him of any vulnerability.

Standing tall in their secret hideout, he looked at one of the henchmen. “Bring the girl back and make the call.”

-*-*-*-*-*-

Bucky had a gut feeling the voice sounded familiar as he entered the quinjet along with the others. As Clint sat down in the cockpit and turned the engines on, Bucky kept wrecking his brain, trying to remember where exactly did he recognize the voice from, while he first helped Emily strap herself into a seat before he sat down as well.

As soon as they were airborne, a cold rush of terror washed through him as he finally remembered. He ripped the seat belts off and sprinted to the cockpit, taking a seat next to Clint. “I know who it is.” He said in a low voice, as if to prevent the others from hearing.

“And?”

“Omega Red.”

Clint’s head snapped at his direction, recognizing the name and what it meant for all of them. Omega Red could snuff them out by just _standing_ there and doing nothing. Bucky and the Asgardians might be the only three to have a fighting chance to last a minute longer than the rest of them. Maybe Wanda as well, being a mutant herself, even though not by birth. But at the bottom of it all, they were all doomed.

“We need to alert the others before they get too close.” Bucky’s temples were starting to sweat as he clenched his jaws. He was not one to be put off by a confrontation, but going against Omega Red meant certain death. A few years back he wouldn’t have minded it, but right now? After building something resembling a life and having friends? He dreaded the thought of losing them all. Of leaving Steve behind without even saying goodbye.

“FRIDAY..” Clint started into the comm, but FRIDAY cut him off.

“Kidnapper identified. An enhanced mutant known as Arkady Gregorovich Rossivich, alias Omega Red, also known as Red Death. He was captured by the Interpol agent Sean Cassidy and turned over to the KGB, which wanted to experiment and attempt to create a super soldier similar to Captain America and the Winter Soldier, which resulted in creating Omega Red.” FRIDAY started citing Omega Red’s profile and a summarised biography, while everyone listened in total silence.

“Guys, Bucky knows the guy.” Clint said after FRIDAY was done relaying the information.

“I don’t personally know him, but I’ve heard of him back in Siberia.” Bucky spoke, dread quite palpable in his voice, though realizing that, he changed his tone to his usual stoic one, void of all emotion and focussed on the task ahead. “The guy’s basically a rapist and a serial killer. His targets are always young women, ever since the late 50’s.”

As he gave them a rundown on what information he had about Omega Red from his past, Loki felt his chest constricting. The suit suddenly started feeling too tight. Hearing that the kidnapper was a rapist and a serial killer sparked his anxiety as he dreaded for Morgan’s wellbeing. His anger flared as well, but anxiety was winning at the moment and he needed to stop it before he fell from the sky like a lump of meat out of a processing machine, especially since his hands went clawing at his chest in a desperate attempt to open the suit.

“Mr. Odinson, you are having an anxiety attack. Please refrain from clawing at the suit. You might accidentally eject yourself.” Came FRIDAY’s soothing voice through the HUD.

“What’s happening to Loki?” Sam asked, seeing how the God was clawing at his chest and losing balance in the process.

Emily took off her seatbelt and rushed to the cockpit. She saw through a screen what was happening to Loki and she gasped. “I need an earpiece and a private connection to Loki.” Her hand was grasping at the edge of the pilot’s seat and her knuckles had turned white.

“What’s going on with him?” Clint asked, handing her an earpiece. She grabbed it and ran to the back of the quinjet, away from everyone’s ears.

“I’m guessing anxiety attack.” Bucky said, not being able to pull his gaze away from the screen focusing on Loki. That piece of information caused Clint to raise an eyebrow.

Emily put the earpiece on and tapped it. “FRIDAY?”

“Miss Green, I am not able to calm him. His heart beat is elevating at a high rate. Connecting with Mr. Odinson.” The AI responded.

“Loki?” she forced herself to have a calm voice, hoping it would soothe him. She knew the reason of the sudden episode. She heard FRIDAY’s and Bucky’s information about the kidnapper. While her own blood had frozen in her veins, she had a feeling it would have an even worse effect on Loki.

Loki was still clawing desperately at his chest, heaving for breath as the corners of his eyes started to darken. There were screams in his ears, Morgan’s cries for help and it wouldn’t stop. His vision was turning blurry because of the tears he was now shedding. He was about to succumb to the incoming darkness when his ears caught the voice of an angel. _His_ angel.

 _”Loki?”_ Emily repeated through the comm. _”Loki, if you can hear me, can you try to say something? Words are not needed. Just a sound of any sort.”_

He wanted to say something, tried to, but all he managed was a sob.

Her heart clenched upon hearing the sob. But she took it as a sign that he could hear her. _”Loki, no one can hear us through this connection. You are safe.”_ She went on, knowing that he won’t be able to respond anyway, but he could hear her. _”Loki, you are safe. Morgan is safe. I heard the information too. If they want you, they wouldn’t hurt her. That’s how kidnappers work.”_

In reality, she had no clue whether that was how kidnappers functioned. She was desperate to calm Loki while mid-air, lest he hurt himself in the process. She spoke soothing words to him through the private line that was opened to him and she walked towards the cockpit to see how he was progressing from the outside. Those of the Avengers who were flying were now flying around him, surrounding him in a circle, though keeping at a distance. She figured someone had alerted them that she was talking to Loki at that moment.

 _”I can see you, Loki. You’re doing great. Your brother and our friends are flying around you. Ready to catch you if you fall, since I cannot be there to catch you myself. But you are doing well, my love.”_ she spoke in a low, soothing tone and slowly turned around and walked back to where she was earlier, giving herself and Loki some privacy.

Clint raised an eyebrow again as he turned in his seat to look at her while she walked away. He then turned to Bucky, looking confused.

“You haven’t met this new version of him, Clint.” Bucky said, eyes still on the monitor. “Turns out he’s a decent guy. A bit damaged in the head, but which one of us isn’t?”

“How damaged?”

“PTSD.”

“Serves him..” Clint stopped himself before he could utter words he would regret later. He wasn’t like that. He knew how PTSD felt and he wouldn’t wish it on his worst enemy, which coincidentally happened to be Loki. He sighed. “Is he getting help?” Bucky nodded at that, humming an affirmative. “Not sure how I feel about him being here, but I do want to stick an arrow down his skull.”

“Might break the arrow.”

“I’d at least have tried.” Clint smirked, making Bucky smirk in return.

“I’d suggest you give him a chance to explain, like you did with me. The story isn’t that different.” Bucky said as the quinjet slowly started inclining.

“Will think about it.” Clint opened the microphone, “Hey, Em, strap yourself somewhere, we’re landing.”

Still talking in hushed tones to Loki, Emily went to take a seat at the nearest available spot and strapped herself in.

_”We’re landing now. Breath with me, Loki. You’re doing great so far.”_

He had stopped clawing at his chest and his arms were back to his sides, the hand thrusters back on and keeping him balanced under FRIDAY’s watchful eye. His breathing was slowly calming, though the same couldn’t be said to the pain in his chest.

His vision was clearing and he clenched his jaws as he worked the thrusters to full speed. They were getting close to the island, closer to Morgan, his Iron Maiden.

“My love,” he finally spoke, his voice calm though strained.

 _”My soul,”_ he could sense the relief in her voice.

“Thank you.” He said, a little smile tugging at his lips, though he knew she couldn’t see him.

 _”I’m always there for you,”_ came her immediate reply.

“And I love you for it.”

_”I love you too, my prince. Bring our niece back.”_

With renewed determination, Loki started descending, followed by the others. As they all reached the ground at the foot of the Statue of Liberty, they waited for the quinjet to land as well. Once it did and the remaining Avengers started walking out, Loki flew inside and landed in front of Emily.

She stood up, grinning at him as the suit opened and he threw himself at her. “I love you. I love you so much. Thank you, my love.” He kissed her forehead, eyes, nose and finally her lips.

“I love you too, Loki.” She giggled, happy by his sudden outburst of affection. “Now, for the last time, go get Morgan back. And be safe.” She put her palm against his cheek, wiping her thumb against the remnants of the tears from earlier.

He nodded and leaned down for another kiss. “Wait for me here. For us.”

“I will.” She handed him Morgan’s favorite plush that she had brought along.

He stepped back into the suit, grabbed the Iron Man plush and darted out, coming to land next to Pepper and the others, while the ramp to the quinjet rolled up and sealed the entrance behind him.

“So now what?” Sam asked, Redwing hovering above him.

“Now we look for an entrance. There has to be one other than the main entrance up front.” Rhodey looked around, trying to figure out where such an entrance would be.

“Is that supposed to happen?” Peter pointed at the plush in Loki’s hand, which now had a faint purple glow.

“Yes.” Loki was smiling behind his faceplate, Rhodey as well. “She’s here, somewhere.”

“It’s supposed to get brighter the closer we get to her.” Rhodey explained.

“Then let’s go.” Pepper said, darting up to the sky and starting to circle the surroundings. Her baby was close. She could feel it.

Sam sent Redwing to investigate and he took to the skies as well. Rhodey, Loki and Thor joining them in flight, while the others covered the land.

Pepper’s heart was pounding against her chest as she flew around. Her baby was somewhere close and soon she can hold her in her arms again. She desperately wished Tony was there now. He probably wouldn’t have spent this long looking for her. But alas, he was gone and she wasn’t him. Her brain didn’t work the same way her late husband’s did, especially not when it came to this kind of things.

Loki flew around with the Iron Man push in his hand. He surveilled the surroundings, went up the statue, around it and back down. The purple glow on the plushie hadn’t changed. It remained the same soft glow, indicating that while Morgan was on the island, she wasn’t where he was looking.

He changed route and Pepper followed. She needed to be there when they found her and the plushie was the only indication they had at the moment. When Loki changed direction and started descent, she followed, until both of them landed near the ferry slips and Loki retracted his helmet.

The plush glowed a hint brighter.

Pepper’s faceplate retracted as well and she stared at the plush in Loki’s grasp, her eyes shining with anticipation.

“We’re getting closer.” He gasped, trying hard to keep his anxiety in check. Excitement was eating him up and it was making it hard for him to breathe.

“We continue by foot, then.” Pepper brought her faceplate back in place and took off in the direction of the museum. Any other time she would have found it funny how small the island looked from above, while on foot it seemed vast like an open field. Today, though, she found it annoying. She just wanted to find her daughter and this place felt huge!

They all gathered near the quinjet, all looking miserable for not finding any entrance to wherever Morgan was being held. Inside the statue and the museum were not viable options, as FRIDAY had run a scan and the result came back negative.

“They’re probably underground.” Bucky said, looking around the field that stretched before them.

“Yeah, but we looked everywhere. There’s no visible entrance.” Peter was frowning, like this was a math quiz he was trying to figure out the answers to.

“That’s just it.” Thor suddenly said. The God of Thunder had been keeping silent the whole time, and only Peter’s observation inspired an idea for him. “The entrance is not visible! If it’s an underground base, then there should be a door on the ground.” He turned to look at Loki, for some reason seeking confirmation.

Said confirmation came not from his brother, but from Rhodey. “Point Break has a point there.” He chuckled, “Oh, Tony would have loved that.” He shook his head, pleased with his line. 

Thor cleared his throat.

“Right.” Rhodey’s attention was back to the matter at hand. “Since they’re not keeping her in a building above ground, and we know she’s here, then they have an underground base. Meaning, some sort of a door _on the ground._ ”

“Like a hidden basement door!” Peter added with some excitement.

“That does make sense.” Sam said, Bucky shrugging and nodding next to him.

“Let me see the toy.” Wanda said, stepping in front of Loki, who hesitantly handed her the plush. “I’ll be careful.” She quickly added, giving him a gentle smile.

She held the glowing Iron Man plush between two hands and closed her eyes for a mere second. When she opened them, her eyes glowed red, as did her palms. Everyone watched as she let go of the plush and it floated forward. The purple glow started becoming brighter the further it went, until it landed on grass.

Loki sprinted forward, picking up the plush that was now glowing at full brightness. He turned to Pepper, who had her helmet retracted and was staring at him with tears rolling down her smiling face.

His helmet retracted as well so he could show her his smile. His heart was beating frantically against his chest, threatening to explode at any given moment. They were close.

The ground around them suddenly started shaking. Both Loki and Pepper had their helmets back on and jumped to the sky, as did Rhodey and Sam. The others took fighting stances and looked around, ready to charge at whatever threat was coming their way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not familiar with the comics. I chose Omega Red pretty randomly, as I needed a villain. All the information about him I got from the Marvel wiki page. I may or may not have added some stuff on my own in regards to his powers. But hey, fan fiction, right? I mean, by keeping Loki alive after Endgame, the canon ship has long sailed off into the unknown lol
> 
> I'd also like to note that I am currently preparing for exams. Got 4 extensive researches to write (ugh) and one digital exam (double ugh). So working on both of my stories (this one and The Apology) will become less frequent. Sorry about that!!


	46. Chapter 46

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little warning for violence. They are in a battle, after all.

As the ground continued shaking, a few spots started rising up. At first it gave the impression that a mole was digging its way out, but it was bigger size than what a mole would cause. All of a sudden, grass covered lids started opening up from every raised mound on the ground. Before they knew it, mercenaries dressed in non-reflective black uniforms started coming out and opening fire at the Avengers on the ground.

All hell broke loose as battle commenced. Fires were shot, bullets either hit or missed their targets. Very quickly the Avengers were being outnumbered, though it did not stop them. Those who were airborne were striking from above, their aims never missing a target. Those on the ground had a bit more difficulty in that aspect, as their targets kept moving and the bullets did not have any trackers in them like those from the Iron Man-made suits controlled by FRIDAY.

Wanda used her magic to counter the attack, sending mercenaries to their demise left and right. Peter shot his webs at the mask-covered faces, either obstructing their view or cutting off their breathing supply. Thor hit Mjolnir to the ground, causing an explosion that took down several of the offenders in one go.

But they still kept coming. It was like a nest full of ants had been opened and they kept swarming out.

Bucky holstered his machine gun and jumped into close combat, toppling whoever came his way and making sure they were dead before he moved on forward. Once he reached one of the opened exits, he dropped a grenade in and sprinted out of the way.

“Barnes! We don’t know where Morgan is! Careful with that!” Came Clint’s voice. The archer was shooting arrows left and right, not even bothering to look where he was aiming, but never missing a target.

“She’s not in this one.” Bucky replied in an eerily calm tone and moved on to the next exit.

“How do you know that?” Came Peter’s voice.

“Because she’s there.” Bucky pointed at the furthest exit from where he was, dropping another grenade at the one at his feet and sprinting away moments before the explosion was heard.

“Morgan!” Pepper saw her daughter fighting against the hold of a man clad in red, his skin chalk white and face exuded menace and evil.

“Pepper, don’t get close!” Clint immediately warned her, but she flew towards Morgan anyway.

“Pepper, he can kill instantly by just standing there! Keep your distance!” Bucky added, deflecting a bullet aimed at him with his metal arm and grabbing the mercenary that shot him and broke his neck.

Pepper hovered above the man holding her daughter from what she assumed to be a safe distance and Loki flew to her side.

“Mommy?” Morgan looked to the sky upon seeing her mother’s familiar suit and then her eyes turned into wide orbs as she gasped upon seeing the Iron Man suit coming to her side. “Daddy?” Her cries resumed as she raised her arms to the sky and she screamed at the top of her lungs. “Daddy! Help!”

Loki’s heart clenched as he heard Morgan’s cries and his breathing escalated. This was no time for another panic attack! “Pepper, she thinks I’m Stark.” He turned to Pepper who said nothing and simply stared at Morgan who was trying to reach out for them both.

“Pep, we need to get Morgan out of his grasp!” Came Rhodey’s voice through the comms.

“Brother, we need a diversion.” It was Thor who spoke.

“Mommy! Daddy!” Morgan kept calling and the man holding her started marching forward, followed by a couple of mercenaries who were heavily armed.

The Avengers kept fighting every and all attackers around them, but it only looked like the more they killed, the more just kept showing up. Like there was magic involved or something. They knew there wasn’t, but they hadn’t counted on Omega Red’s influence on gathering such an army of mercenaries on his own.

Emily was staring through the monitors on the quinjet, nervously biting her thumb as she watched the battle unfold before her eyes. She was scared, terrified even. Morgan was right in the middle of things and she was obviously calling for Pepper and Loki who were hovering above her.

“Why aren’t you attacking?” She whispered to herself, not really understanding why they were keeping distance.

“Omega Red can release special pheromones that would instantly kill whoever is within his vicinity.” Came FRIDAY’s explanation. While it supplied an explanation, it also magnified the terror within Emily.

The nurse stood up and started pacing. Her eyes kept going back and forth from monitor to monitor. There had to be something to be done. Surely the Avengers could come up with something?

As if the questions in her head were magically answered, she saw Loki landing at a distance in front of Omega Red and Morgan. Her heart almost stopped when Loki retracted his helmet.

“You wanted me. Let the girl go.” Loki said and his eyes moved towards Morgan, who just stared at him. He could see some relief in her gaze, but the amount of disappointment he saw there was more than evident. It broke his heart. “I’m very sorry, little one. I know you hoped it to be your father.” 

Morgan sniffed and wiped her nose. She really wanted it to be her daddy. She figured if an Iron Man suit was around, then her daddy was back! But no. It was only Loki. But her little brain recovered quickly from the shock as more tears started flowing down her cheeks. “Loki, I’m scared.” She sobbed, her arms stretched in his direction.

“You’re safe now, my Iron Maiden.” He managed a reassuring smile and turned his gaze to Omega Red. His smile disappeared as he squared his shoulders and glared at the mutant. He wished he had his seiðr at that moment. They would have been done before the scum holding Morgan could even blink.

“You wanted me. Here I am.” He took slow steps forward.

“Loki! When I said diversion, I did not mean that!” Thor screamed at him from afar.

“Very foolish of you to think her safe, Asgardian.” Omega Red handed Morgan over to one of his henchmen and she started kicking and struggling to get away.

Loki watched with his heart beating frantically against his chest how Morgan was being handed over while fighting to get out of their grasps. The Avengers and his brother were yelling at him to stop whatever he was doing. Even Pepper and Rhodey were yelling at him through the comms.

While his friends and family members were busy fighting, he patiently waited for Morgan to be taken away. He knew he was taking a risk, but he needed her as far away as possible from the mutant, should he decide to use his pheromones.

He brought a hand to his ear, tapped it and whispered: “Keep an eye on Morgan. Take her away when the opportunity arises.” Then he took the earpiece out and tossed it aside.

Emily stood rooted in front of the monitors, horrified by what she was witnessing. When Loki took out his earpiece, her hand went to her chest as she started trembling. He was about to do something stupid and it was going to cost him dearly.

Once Morgan was out of sight, Loki noticed Pepper and Rhodey charging to the direction she was being taken. That was the moment Loki put his helmet back on and charged at Omega Red with repeated blasts from his repulsors. Each strike was easily dodged by the mutant, who struck back by whipping his tentacles at Loki’s direction. Loki jumped to the air and sent a unibeam from his chest repulsor, which hit Omega Red in the chest. But it didn’t seem to do much harm, other than singe a patch of his clothing.

“Damn it, why is it not working?” Loki mumbled under his nose and decided close combat was his only option. “FRIDAY, any weak points you can find for me?”

“Scanning...” FRIDAY replied and Loki could see the scanner working into the HUD. He sent off a few missiles that looked like the mutant was being enveloped in a tiny firework session rather than being harmed at all. “His only weak point is his heart. Though his skin is too dense to be penetrated by any metal on Earth.”

“Would uru metal work? Or vibranium?” He asked as he flew around, dodging a tentacle. They had two weapons made of uru and one of vibranium in their possession, it was worth a try.

“Calculating... it’s...” Before FRIDAY could complete her analysis, Loki was harshly pulled down from his spot in the air and he hit the ground with a loud crack.

All of a sudden he couldn’t breathe anymore. He looked ahead of him and saw Omega Red standing still, his body emitting a strange substance through the skin. Loki’s eyes widened at the realization, especially seeing how the henchmen standing closest to the mutant dropped dead instantly. The mutant was releasing his death spores, the pheromones and it seemed the suit’s air filtering system was malfunctioning, since the pheromones were affecting him as well.

“FRIDAY, get everyone away from the mutant.” He managed to breath out and closed his eyes, summoning the only thing that could give him some extra minutes: his Jotun form.

As he opened his crimson eyes, he saw Omega Red approaching him. Loki took a deep breath as he calculated his options. He had no way out. He wished he could see Emily’s face before doing the unthinkable. He would have loved to kiss her one last time, to hold her in his arms for just another minute.

But she was in the quinjet and he would not want her anywhere near the mutant.

“FRIDAY, on my order, I need you make the suit explode.”

“Mr. Odinson, that is suicide!”

“Not my first.” He smirked, getting up to his feet.

The battle around him did not matter anymore. He turned his gaze towards the quinjet for a moment, knowing that Emily was watching. He raised his hand in a little wave and then turned to the mutant who was advancing towards him.

“Mr. Odinson, I cannot let you do that!”

“Loki! Whatever you’re trying to do, don’t!” Pepper’s voice was heard through the HUD.

“It’s the only way, Pepper.” He replied and charged at Omega Red.

Loki jumped and wrapped his arms around the mutant’s shoulders, his legs wrapping around the waist in a distorted form of a hug. That took the mutant in surprise and made him halt, which Loki took to give the order to FRIDAY to detonate.

The sudden explosion made everyone halt their fights and stare. Emily screamed at the monitor she was staring at and rushed to get out of the quinjet. Once the painstakingly slow door opened and the stairs rolled out for her, she stormed down but stood dead in her spot as she saw the scene before her. Dead bodies everywhere, her friends scattered around with different injuries that didn’t seem too worrisome. Wanda was on her knees at one side of the field, her arm around her waist. In the middle of it the smoke was dissipating and Omega Red was still standing and Loki in his Jotun form was on the ground before him, the suit scattered around him in pieces.

“Loki...” she whispered, frozen in her spot, though not sure whether it was due to the shock of the view before her or because of her fear for Loki’s life. Though it could have been a mix of everything combined. Morgan was nowhere to be seen from where she was standing.

To Emily’s complete and utter horror, Omega Red wrapped his tentacles around Loki’s neck, lifting him up a few feet off the ground. Loki’s mind went back to the time Thanos held him the same way and his anxiety hit him in full. He couldn’t breathe and he couldn’t pry the tentacles off his throat no matter how hard he tried. The frost forming around the metal holding him did not seem to do much to the mutant.

“Interesting.” Omega Red mumbled as he watched Loki struggling in his grasp. He saw the other Asgardian approaching, so he released some more pheromones to keep him at bay. He would be next, after all. He smirked when he saw Thor dropping to his knees, with both his weapons falling at his side.

Loki struggled against the hold as the tentacles drained his life energy. Writhing and shaking violently, trying to be released, but he failed. He failed to kill the mutant. He failed to save Morgan. He failed Pepper. He failed his brother and worst of all, he failed Emily.

Slowly, the light in the eyes of the God of Mischief dimmed and his body hung limp in the grasp of the mutant’s tentacles. Once Omega Red was satisfied that every ounce of life energy had been drained, Loki was thrown unceremoniously to the ground. 

“Loki!” Morgan screamed as she thrashed in the hands of the mercenary holding her, who came out from the shadows he was hiding in.

Emily froze as she watched it happen. Her lover was being killed before her eyes and there was nothing she could do to stop it. Sobbing, she ran towards him. Jumping over bodies without even thinking where she was heading to. She needed to be with Loki. “NOOO!!” Agonizing pain stabbed through her chest as she dropped at Loki’s side and took him in her arms. Her shriek could be heard at a distance as she cried, her face buried onto his chest. “Loki, talk to me, please don’t leave me, wake up, please wake up!” She shook him, but to no avail.

Thunder was heard above them, but Emily did not pay it much attention. Thor was back on his feet, his eyes glowing in electricity and he started throwing lightening bolts at Omega Red, who was deflecting the attack and was fighting back.

“Don’t leave me!” The pain in Emily’s chest was unbearable. She started shivering, clutching at her chest as she couldn’t breathe anymore. Every breath she took was met with a stabbing pain.

Pepper threw a blaster at Omega Red and he deflected it. She needed to get him away from Emily. Her tears were obscuring her vision behind her HUD. Sam joined in and threw his shield at the mutant, cutting a tentacle in the process. The mutant groaned and turned his focus on the assailant.

“Loki..” Emily kept shaking him, kissing his face, lips, hands. He wouldn’t move. “Please wake up. I don’t want to live without you...” She whispered, bringing his hand to her chest and holding it there. “Loki, it hurts. My heart... it hurts... help me... Loki!” She couldn’t breathe anymore. The pain in her chest was unbearable. “Loki... don’t leave me...” With a last breath, she dropped on top of him.

“Emily!” Pepper was surrounded by mercenaries who were shooting at her from all direction. She kept shooting at them and more seemed to come out from all directions. “Someone get her out of there!”

“On it!” Hawkeye yelled into his comm as he kept shooting arrows and started moving towards Emily. “Someone get to Morgan, damn it! They’re moving!”

-*-*-*-*-*-

They say when you die, your life flashes before you. In their case, their lives entwined within a green spark. A door opened within her heart, releasing a shimmer that coursed through her veins until it found an exit with a blast. Their bodies were pushed away by an invisible force, which knocked away any and every body within their vicinity, and both their chests were glowing.

A green mist left her body, golden swirls circling it and guiding it to its original owner. Once found, his body was engulfed in a mix of green and gold light swirls. Deep within him, his heart started beating again. Once.. twice.. until a steady rhythm was established once more.

Loki opened his eyes with a gasp, arching his back at the surge of energy and magic flowing within him once again. Taking deep breaths, he slowly stood up and closed his eyes. He could feel his seiðr coursing through him, feeding on him and feeding him. He felt his skin colour change from blue to pale. He felt warmth. He felt alive. He smiled.

He was born anew.

Opening his eyes again, he looked around. Sam and Bucky were engaging Omega Red, as well as Thor, despite the danger his pheromones posed to their lives. Pepper and Wanda were fighting the mercenaries. At the corner of his eyes he noticed a familiar body. To his horror, he turned to look at her. This was not supposed to happen. She was not supposed to die for him to get his seiðr back!

Loki rushed to Emily’s side and took her in his arms. “Emily, Em, open your eyes, my love.” He cupped her cheek as he whispered to her. Tears flowed down his face as he spoke to her, the battle momentarily forgotten. “Please be alive, my love.” He put a shaking hand over her chest and closed his eyes. He could feel a weak heartbeat. He could work with that. Summoning his seiðr, he sent a healing spell through her and then leaned down to kiss her lips. “I love you, Emily. Wait for me.” With a flick of his wrist, he teleported her to his bed at the tower.

Once he had her in the safety of his room, Loki stood up and summoned his Asgardian armor. Green, black and gold shimmered around him as his clothes changed into his favorite battle attire. As a finishing touch, his golden helmet materialized around his head along with Odin’s staff, Gungnir, suddenly materializing in his hand. He looked at the staff and smirked. It seemed the Allfather had finally deemed him worthy of it.

“Mommy!!” 

He turned his attention to his little friend, who was being carried away once more by the man holding her. He teleported right in front of him, startling the black clad man in his steps.

“Loki!” Morgan struggled to get free, but the man wouldn’t let go.

“Hand me the child and I’ll make your death very quick.” He said with a smirk.

“Fuck you!”

“Wrong answer.” Loki flicked his wrist and Morgan was in his arms. “Hello, little one.” He smiled at her and she wrapped her arms around his neck and started crying. “You’re safe now, my darling. I’m here, mummy’s here as well.” He stroked her hair as he walked through the field like they were the only ones there, completely ignoring the man that had been holding her a moment ago. He conjured a protective shield around them, blocking every bullet or energy blast coming their way. Loki walked until he reached where Pepper was. As soon as she saw them, she flew in their direction and Loki opened the shield just for Pepper to land before them, closing it soon after.

“My baby...” She whispered, retracting her helmet as Loki handed Morgan over. “My precious little baby.” She hugged Morgan and kissed her face. Morgan was crying in her mother’s arms. Whether it was out of fear or relief, no one knew.

“Pepper, I suggest you take Morgan to the tower. Emily is in my room, hopefully recovering. Things will get ugly here and we don’t want Morgan to be around. I’ll join you soon after.”

Pepper nodded with a smile. “Morgan, honey, how about we fly home?” Morgan looked at her mom with teary eyes and nodded, a little smile on her face.

Loki took a step forward and stroked Morgan’s hair. “I’ll see you soon, Iron Maiden.” He kissed her cheek and then looked at Pepper. “Go. Emily will be distressed if she woke up alone. A glass of water should help with the nausea when she wakes up.”

“Give them hell.” Pepper said and took off once Loki removed the protective shield, holding Morgan tight in her arms.

Loki turned around, Gungnir in hand and aimed at whomever crossed his path. He first made his way back to the person who was keeping Morgan hostage throughout the battle. He grabbed the man by the throat and bared his teeth in a feral grin as he lifted the man up in the air. “You hurt my niece.” He growled and with force, brought the man down to the ground, most probably breaking a few bones in the process, but he couldn’t care less. His hand never left the man’s neck. “You scared a five year old child.” His grip tightened as he sent a spell to stop the man from moving under his grasp. “You will look into my eyes as I take your life, peasant.” He lay Gungnir next to him and pulled the mask off the man’s face. “Well, hello there.” He conjured a dagger and the man’s eyes widened in terror.

“Please.. don’t..”

“Oh, now you’re pleading with me?” He pressed the tip of the dagger at the man’s chest. “A little bit too late, don’t you think?” He pushed it in, burying it into the man’s heart to the hilt. He watched as the man before him went completely limp and then pulled his dagger out and made it disappear.

Loki then grabbed Gungnir and stood up. He fired energy blasts towards the remaining mercenaries, each dropping dead on the spot.

Thor was now fighting Omega Red with Stormbreaker and Mjolnir. Dodging attacks and swinging his axe and throwing his hammer at the mutant. 

“Thor, he’s mine.” Loki said, coming to his brother’s side and casting a white beam from Gungnir, which threw Omega Red off balance.

“Brother! You summoned Gungnir!” The Thunderer beamed at his brother with pride. 

“I didn’t.” Loki’s focus was on Omega Red, who was standing up and about to charge. “It came to me.”

Without thinking, Loki grabbed Mjolnir off the ground and threw it at the mutant, then aimed Gungnir at the hammer as it flew forward and cast a spell. Mjolnir glowed as it hit Omega Red in the chest, going through and rotating back into Loki’s hand. The Trickster God walked towards the mutant who fell to his knees, eyes wide in shock as the life left his body. “This is for my niece, you piece of shit.” He swung Mjolnir and slammed the mutant’s head, crushing it into a pulp.

Only when satisfied did he stop. He stood up, dropping Mjolnir to his side and wiped the blood off his face. 

Thor stood at a distance, mouth agape and eyes wide in shock. Did Loki just wield Mjolnir? He watched in fascination how his younger brother charged at the remaining group of mercenaries, swinging Gungnir and blasting them into next week with rays of energy blasts. Those he had seen to be at any vicinity to Morgan, he handled with his bare hands, ripping them apart limb by limb with minimal effort.

No one was spared. Bodies and limbs were scattered all over the place. The Avengers watched in shock at the bloodbath that was happening before them and none of them dared to move.

When Loki was finally done, the Falcon and War Machine landed next to him as the others sprinted to his direction.

“Welcome back.” Hawkeye smirked as he came to a stop in front of the God. His former feud with the God momentarily forgotten. It didn’t mean he wouldn’t attempt an arrow to the eye sometime in the future, though. Everything was possible, he had decided.

“Good to be back.” Loki smirked at the Avenger.

“Mr. Loki that was awesome!” Peter removed his mask and Loki could see the fascination on the teenager’s face.

“Brother!” Thor threw himself at Loki, engulfing him in a bear hug. “Not only did you wield Gungnir, but also Mjolnir!”

“Thor, let go of me, you sentimental oaf!” He struggled against the tight -yet loving- hold his brother had on him. “Or I’ll stab you into oblivion!”

That only seemed to fuel Thor’s enthusiasm as he let out a roaring laugh. “Oh by the grace of Odin, stab away! I missed this side of you!”

Loki just grunted and let a little smile tug at his lips. Finally Thor let go of him and he turned to the group. “Is everyone alright?”

“Wanda needs medical attention.” Bucky said, holding the witch by the waist.

“I’ll be fine. It’s just a scratch.” She had her hand over a spot at her side. Loki could see blood slowly oozing out.

“Here, let me.” He made Gungnir disappear into one of his pocket dimensions and helped Wanda to sit on the ground. “This might feel warm, but it won’t hurt.” She nodded and he removed her hand off the would and placed his palm over it. A green glow shimmered between palm and wound and Wanda watched with fascination as it closed, leaving nothing but stains of dry blood behind.

She took a deep breath and smiled. “Thank you.”

“It’s nothing.” He smiled back and helped her up. “I need to go to the tower. Should I take you all with me?”

“Not me. Will fly the quinjet and I’ll get SHIELD to come do some clean-up. I’ll see you guys later.” Clint said and headed towards the quinjet.

“That would be best brother, can you handle it?” Thor asked.

“Wait, how are you taking us?” Sam interjected and before he could blink, they were all standing in the living room at the Avengers level of the tower. “I think I’m gonna be sick.” Sam said and ran towards the bathroom.

“If you’ll excuse me.” Loki said and rushed to his bedroom, his heart thumping in his chest.

He heard murmurs coming from inside and suddenly he was aware of the fact that his beloved almost died because of him and his seiðr. He hoped she wasn’t too mad at him for that. Carefully, he opened the door and his heart almost stopped at the scene before him.

Pepper and Emily were sitting on his bed, with Morgan sleeping in her mother’s arms. Rescue was standing at the far corner of the room. The two women turned to look at him. Pepper smiling and Emily just staring at him in what seemed to be shock and admiration.

Closing the door behind him, Loki took tentative steps forward and Emily was about to leave the bed when he held his hands up. “Please remain seated, love. You’re weak, still.”

But she wouldn’t hear it. She got off the bed and threw herself into his arms, claiming his lips in a longing kiss.

“I thought I lost you.” She smiled at him, tears flowing down her cheeks. She couldn’t believe that he was standing before her, now in all his Asgardian glory. Alive after yet another attempt at his life.

“I’m not that easy to get rid of.” He beamed at her, leaning his forehead against hers as he stroked her hair.

“I definitely am.” Pepper knew it was time to give them some privacy as she carefully got off the bed, with Morgan in her arms. “Loki, thank you.” She placed a hand over his bicep. “You have no idea how thankful I am. I will never be able to repay you.”

“Pepper, it has been long established that you are my family. This is my niece we’re talking about.” He smiled at her. “How is she?” he stroked Morgan’s hair with all the care in the world.

“Pretty shaken, but nothing that a good sleep and some love and care wouldn’t fix.” She looked at the child in her arms. “Or at least, I hope so.”

“We’ll have the witch look into her mind and erase all the unpleasant memories of the past few days.”

“Definitely.” Pepper nodded. “I’ll give you two some space.” She smiled at the both of them and walked out of the room, heading upstairs and taking the Avengers along with her.

Loki’s attention was now fully on the lovely woman in his arms. “Hello.” He grinned.

“Hello,” she smiled, looking into his eyes. “Did anyone ever tell you how beautiful you are in your armor?”

“I don’t believe anyone has, no.” He smirked.

“Well, you are.”

They kissed again. Loki picked her up and brought her to his bed. He would make love to her that day until neither of them could think straight anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo Loki finally has his powers back! 
> 
> I love it when Loki goes into berserk mode. I just suck at writing it. In my head it looked beautifully brutal.
> 
> And he's DOUBLE worthy! Take THAT MCU! *mic drop*


	47. Chapter 47

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaand we're back with a new chapter!  
> Thanks for all the feedback on the previous chapter!

The next morning, Wanda and Loki had worked together to heal Morgan’s mind of the trauma she had experienced at the hands of Omega Red and his mercenaries. Thankfully, they hadn’t physically harmed her, seeing that they needed her alive and well in order to get what they wanted. Loki was careful when he put his palm over Morgan’s head. He did not wish her to relive the memories as he once let happen with the Valkyrie while on Sakaar. He took certain precautions to prevent the memories from being broadcasted to Morgan’s mind. His heart shattered to pieces as he saw and felt the level of fear and panic she had experienced while away from her home and family. He could see her crying, calling for Pepper, Emily and even for him. Refusing food and drinks and being forced to consume those. Fighting against the tight hold the mercenaries had on her, cowering in fear whenever Omega Red was within her sight. Those memories will be forever etched in his own mind. He thought he could remove them, make her forget, but it turned out he couldn’t. They were deeply rooted into her mind and attempting to force the removal would do her more harm than good. He hoped the Scarlet Witch would be more successful at this than he was. A single tear rolled down his cheek as he opened his eyes and looked at the curious face looking at him.

“Loki, why are you crying?”

“I might have some dust in my eyes, little one.” He lied, smiling.

She reached out and pulled a tissue out of the box that lay on the table, then dabbed it over his face. “Maybe you should wash your face. Mommy washes my face when I get dust in my eyes at the park.”

“Does it help?” He asked and she nodded, so he mimicked the gesture. “Alright, Wanda wants to talk to you. I’ll go wash my face then.”

Kissing her forehead, he got up and went to do as he said, even though there was no dust in his eyes. But he definitely needed a moment of privacy to compose himself. Wanda looked at him in sympathy and came to sit next to Morgan. It was her turn in the healing process.

“Hey Morgan, would you like to play a game?” She rolled her palm in front of Morgan, creating a small red flame. Morgan was staring at the flame, mesmerized by the way it was dancing in Wanda’s palm. “You can touch it if you want. This flame is safe to touch.” Wanda smiled when Morgan slowly reached out with a finger and gently poked at the flame. When she didn’t feel any type of threat, she poked her whole hand through it and Wanda pulled her palm away.

The flame danced around Morgan’s hand, wrapping itself around her tiny fingers like a glove. “It’s pretty.” Morgan’s eyes were glued to it, following every movement around her hand as if hypnotized.

“If you throw it up in the air and close your eyes, it will come down and make your hair glow.” Wanda created another flame and threw it up in the air. When it came back down, she closed her eyes and it landed on top of her head, making her hair glow red.

Morgan gasped in excitement and stood up. “I wanna try!”

“Go for it.” Wanda grinned.

Morgan threw the flame upwards and closed her eyes. When it came down, it landed on her forehead and engulfed her hair into a red glow. Wanda quickly took a photo of the child to show her later and tossed her phone aside as Morgan’s body went limp. Wanda carried her and lay her on the couch then knelt down next to her. She brought her palms to both sides of Morgan’s head, strands of red magic coursing through the tips of her fingers and landing over the child’s temples.

Loki returned by the time Wanda was done with the healing and Morgan was in a peaceful sleep. 

“It’s done.” Wanda stood up, wiping tears off her eyes and cheeks. 

“Are you alright?” Loki asked, concern evident in his voice.

Wanda nodded. “I will be. It is horrible what she went through. When she wakes up, she’ll think it was all a dream. She will be scared at first, thinking it’s a nightmare. But in an hour she’ll forget about it.” The witch told the prince, who picked the little girl off the couch.

“Thank you, Wanda. I’ll put her in bed and be back.” He took Morgan to her bed and tucked her in. Placing a gentle kiss over her temple before he left the room and returned to Wanda.

“I gather instead of wiping the memories, you repurposed them?” He asked, sitting down on an armchair across from the witch.

“Traumatic memories are anchored so deep that I cannot simply remove them from existence. I would need to bury them much deeper, to hide them. But you’ll never know what could trigger them back to the surface and the results can be quite unpredictable. So I change them into dreams. They’re easy with children her age, since their memory spans are quite limited. She’ll naturally forget about it within hours.”

“Impressive.”

“Thank you.”

Pepper came back from downstairs at that moment and saw the two talking. “Where’s Morgan?” She looked around, almost in panic. She hadn’t left Morgan’s side at all since the day before and only did so when Loki and Wanda almost forced her to go downstairs while they did the healing.

“Sleeping.” Loki got up and walked over to her, taking her hands in his. “Pepper, she’s safe. Wanda and I just finished healing her mind.”

“Oh thank God.” She sighed and pulled Loki into a hug.

Loki told her what Wanda had just told him about Morgan waking up, and instructed Pepper not to worry or panic and simply handle it the way she’d handle any time when Morgan would have had a bad dream.

“Thank you. Both of you.” Pepper gave them a tired smile. “I’ll... I’ll go to her.” Despite the reassurances and the fact that the threat had been eliminated, she simply couldn’t leave her daughter’s side for the time being. She had to have her within sight at all times.

After a round of coffee, Wanda had left to go to the compound and Loki went downstairs to his room. He himself had some healing to do. His seiðr was finally back and he wanted to do a cleanse, to get his mind into a working order.

-*-*-*-*-*-

Loki was laying in the middle of his bed, back propped against pillows in a half sitting position and his legs stretched before him. His body was covered in a golden mist that glowed and shimmered around him. He had learned the spell partially from his mother and partially from Vanir shamans. He had never needed to use it before, because he had never had his seiðr transferred to someone else and back to him. In addition, he had never felt the need to heal his mind, despite it being necessary on several occasions in the past. He was an Asgardian prince, after all. He was supposed to uphold to a certain standard, a certain image. That included being burdened with whatever plagued one’s mind and getting over it without the use of magic or any type of healing.

In the long run, that had only proved to be more destructive than anything.

A little snort escaped his lips as he thought of how his meditation resembled the Odinsleep in some ways. Laying in bed and being covered in a golden mist. He thought about how Gungnir suddenly appeared in his hand during the battle. He let his mind drift to that little dark corner where once during his childhood, he hoped to become the Allfather one day. He shuddered at the thought of it. As a child you’d want to follow in your parent’s footsteps. That was the only reason he had ever thought of being a ruler. Though as he grew older, that idea ceased to exist as he only wished to be himself and his brother’s advisor at most. The latter was only because his title as prince demanded him to.

He shouldn’t be thinking this much while performing the spell. Distraction was not advised. He couldn’t help but smile at the thought of his shaman tutors frowning at him if they ever found out how he let his mind get distracted during such a delicate spell.

In an attempt to not disappoint those of the shamans that still lived - even though he had no way of finding that out - he took a deep breath and cleared his mind. Just as he did when he started the spell. The golden mist around him pulsed, reinforcing the spell that moved around and within his body.

He could feel his muscles relax. His body felt like it was floating among clouds. He felt peace and he let himself drift into a dreamless sleep.

-*-*-*-*-*-

Emily had spent most of the afternoon at the penthouse with Pepper and Morgan. She was feeling a bit lethargic and wanted to crawl into bed. The events from the past week and especially the day before had left her emotionally and physically drained. While she was enjoying every moment she was spending with her cousin and niece, she desperately needed some rest.

As if on queue, Hugo came to sit at her side on the couch and put his head over her lap. She absentmindedly scratched his head while she continued watching a children’s movie Morgan had insisted on. That kid had the energy of 500 Duracell batteries and one wouldn’t think that just the past week she had been through hell and back.

A gentle touch over her shoulder had her open her eyes in confusion. She hadn’t realized that she had fallen asleep. She turned to the side and smiled when she saw Pepper smiling at her with concern.

“Em, why don’t you go lay in bed? You look exhausted.”

Emily stretched her neck and then nodded. “I’ll go check on Loki. He said he would be meditating, maybe he’s done by now. His bed is comfortable.” She smiled, getting up.

“Hang on, did you just admit that you actually manage to sleep in a bed completely different than your own?” Pepper grinned.

“Must be the company.” Emily shrugged, grinning as well despite the slight blush creeping over her cheeks.

Pepper laughed at that and shook her head. “Either way, go get some rest. Dinner’s at 7. Cap and Bucky will be joining us. Bring your boys along.”

Emily chuckled and shook her head. “My boys...” she mumbled as she headed towards the stairs.

Once she walked into the living area of the Avengers level, she waved at Thor, who was reading a magazine on the couch and waved back at her with a smile. She dragged her weight to Loki’s room, knocked softly and opened the door.

She did _not_ expect to see the golden mist covering his whole bed. That did not look like any type of meditation she was familiar with. Suddenly awake, she carefully closed the door and quickly walked back to the living room.

“Thor, is a golden mist covering someone’s bed normal in Asgard?”

Thor looked at her from his spot and put the magazine down to his side. “Not really. The only kind we had was when father went into the Odinsleep. His body would glow in a golden shimmer and a golden dome would surround the bed.” He explained.

“Then why is your brother covered in golden shimmer?”

Thor jumped from his seat and ran to Loki’s room. Emily, suddenly feeling worried because of Thor’s reaction, ran after him. Her mind tried to convince her that Loki was in danger once more and she would not be able to do anything, _again_. She was struggling to get those thoughts out of her head.

Thor slowly opened the door and gasped at the scene before him. Loki’s body was indeed covered in a golden shimmer, just as his father’s used to be whenever he fell into the Odinsleep. There was a semi transparent, golden dome surrounding Loki’s bed, just like his father’s used to have.

“Can’t be.” Thor gasped and stepped further into the room.

“Thor, what’s going on?” Emily came to his side, her worried eyes fixated on Loki.

“It looks exactly like the Odinsleep.” Thor ran a hand through his hair and stared at his brother. First, Loki unintentionally summoned Gungnir, then he wielded Mjolnir - while shocking Thor in the process - and now the Odinsleep? Thor wondered if his brother was somehow becoming the Allfather, even though he wasn’t king. He didn’t know how to feel about it, if it were the case. He’d definitely feel proud and happy for his brother. Yet, at the same time, he would be worried. Loki never wanted to rule and if he was becoming the Allfather, it would mean that the burden was somehow being forced onto him and Thor would not let that happen. The times of forcing his brother to do anything were long gone and he wouldn’t stand for it anymore. No one, dead or alive, would be allowed to force his younger brother to do anything if he didn’t want to do it. Thor would make sure of it.

“I need to talk to the Valkyrie.” He finally said and left the room.

“Wait...” Emily called after him, but he was gone. “What do I do now?” She mumbled to herself and turned to look at Loki, who still seemed to be asleep.

For a moment she wondered if she could join him in bed. She’d only cuddle at his side and that shouldn’t disturb him. She took a couple of steps closer to the barrier that surround the bed and slowly moved her hand against it, expecting resistance. But there was none. There was only warmth as her hand passed through like it wasn’t there. That still didn’t help her decide whether joining Loki in bed was a good idea or not.

After a few minutes of staring at the sleeping form of her boyfriend, she sighed and decided to take the loveseat instead. She didn’t want to disturb whatever that golden shimmer was doing. She only hoped he would wake up soon, safe and sound.

She grabbed the thin blanket he always had on the armrest, wrapped it around herself and she curled up over the loveseat. In an instant her eyes were closed and she drifted into sleep.

-*-*-*-*-*-

She hadn’t known how comfortable it would be sleeping on the loveseat. It felt softer than it usually was and she was also wrapped in warmth. She sighed as she pulled the thick blanket over her shoulders and snuggled underneath. Her hand wrapped around the one resting over her belly and she smiled at the soft, warm breaths tickling the back of her neck.

Problem is, she was sure she was alone on the loveseat and the blanket that she had over herself was thin and not as warm as the one she was snuggling in. Also, there was no hand other than her own over her stomach when she lay down to rest.

Her eyes shot open in a moment of panic. She looked up and recognized Loki’s room. Good, she was still there. But the view was different. She raised her head and saw the loveseat at the corner, with the thin blanket neatly draped over the armrest like always. Weird. She could swear she lay down there earlier and now she was... oh...

She was in Loki’s bed and he was snuggled against her back, with an arm around her waist and the other stretched under her head. When and how she got here, she had no idea. She slowly turned around to face him and wrapped her arm around his waist, pulling herself closer to the warmth of his body.

The gentle nuzzling against his chest stirred him awake. Loki slowly blinked his eyes open and wrapped both arms around the delicate body pressed against him, trapping her within his embrace.

“This is how I wish to wake up every day.” He mumbled, kissing the top of Emily’s head.

“Likewise.” She spoke, her voice muffled by his chest. “Though I don’t remember sleeping in your bed earlier.”

“I carried you, of course.” He pulled back a bit to be able to look at her. “You did not look very comfortable on the loveseat.”

“Anywhere close to you is comfortable enough.” She smiled, then buried her face against his chest at how cheesy that statement sounded. She could feel her cheeks burning up.

Loki chuckled and rubbed her back. “You could have joined me from the start, by the way.”

“You were covered in gold.” She raised her head to look at him. “Wasn’t sure if it was okay.”

“I see.” He closed his eyes. He felt a bit tired still, though it was only due to the spell he had used. “For the record, it would have been alright.” He smiled.

“Good to know.” Emily chuckled. “How are you feeling?”

“Sleepy. But I’ll be fine in a few minutes.”

“You can continue sleeping if you want.”

“It’s simply an after effect of the spell I used. I’m not really tired.”

She snuggled close to him, basking in his warmth, which made her sigh. “This feels good.”

“Agreed.”

They would have loved to stay in bed longer, but FRIDAY’s message about dinner being served in an hour had them both groan in semi-frustration. Not because they didn’t want to join the others upstairs for dinner, but because it meant they’d have to leave the bed.

“I should shower.” Loki mumbled against her head.

“Mhmm... me too.”

“I could use magic to clean us up.”

Right. She had forgotten he had his magic back.

“I don’t think that’s as fun as an actual shower.” She smirked against his chest. She knew she was blushing, but he couldn’t see her face, so it was okay.

A smirk formed over his lips as well. “That is true.”

“So...”

“So...?”

“Shower?”

“Lady Green, are you trying to seduce me?” He pulled back again to look at her. She smirked and raised an eyebrow, making him chuckle. “Consider me seduced.” He said and captured her lips in a slow, lazy kiss that had her instantly melting within his arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By the way, I've started a new multi-chaptered story called "If you love, let me go". Would love it if you give that a try. It's a Loki x Darcy story set post-Endgame with 2012 Loki.
> 
> As always, comments are much appreciated!


	48. Chapter 48

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter. Either way, thanks for the comments on the previous one!

Freshly showered and dressed, Emily and Loki walked into the penthouse about ten minutes later than the expected time, hand-in-hand and giggling about some random topic that didn’t even make sense to either of them. It didn’t matter though. They were both in a brilliant mood after making love, then continuing it in the shower before they finally had gotten ready to come upstairs and join the others.

“Lokiiii! Incomiiiing!” Morgan ran towards him, so he let go of Emily’s hand to catch Morgan. He carried her high above his head and gave her a twirl. Morgan giggled aloud and spread her arms, imitating a bird in flight and Loki simply kept holding her up high and walked into the living room.

“Mommy, look! I can fly like you and daddy!” Morgan was ecstatic and Loki had a wide grin on his face.

Everyone in the living room laughed and Pepper clapped. “Well done, honey!”

Loki finally helped Morgan “land” onto her mother’s lap before he went to join Emily on the armchair she was sitting in. He slid right next to her, knowing full well they won’t fit in the seat together and simply pulled her up over his lap and wrapped his arms around her waist.

“Behave.” She whispered at him, nudging him lightly.

“When do I not?” he grinned at her and kissed her shoulder.

“You look chipper.” Bucky smiled at them.

“Had a nice afternoon.” Loki replied, the grin not leaving his face.

“Is Thor not back yet?” Emily asked Pepper, who shook her head.

“Back from where?” Loki asked.

“He said he wanted to talk to Valkyrie. Right after he saw you glowing and stuff.” Emily explained.

Loki figured his brother was most probably shocked to see a golden barrier around him while he slept. He probably thought it was the Odinsleep. Well, it did look like it, but Loki knew for fact that it was not. He wondered how the Valkyrie would fit into this.

“You can glow too?” Morgan asked innocently.

“That I can.” Loki smiled at her.

“Wanda made my hair glow!” She supplied with excitement. “Mommy has the photo!”

Emily mirrored Morgan’s excitement. “Yes! And you looked beautiful in it!” She had seen the photo probably a thousand times that day.

Loki smiled at Morgan, who grabbed her mom’s phone and came to his side, showing him the photo she was speaking about.

“You indeed look beautiful!” He said, also mirroring her excitement.

Morgan giggled and moved on to show the photo to Steve, Bucky and Rhodey. Everyone complimented her on the bright glowing hair and she was over the moon about it.

Just as Pepper got up to set the table, Thor walked in, looking thoughtful and gloomy and dropped on an armchair, mumbling a greeting under his nose.

“Brother, is something the matter?” Loki’s face darkened as he sat forward, though kept a gentle yet firm hold on Emily.

“You tell me, brother.” Thor said, looking at him.

“What’s going on?” Steve asked, suddenly looking serious.

Loki sighed and shook his head. Emily decided it was time to get up and help Pepper setting up the table, so she kissed him on the cheek. “Better explain fast before he goes to the roof to break stuff.” She whispered before getting up. 

“I don’t need to break stuff.” Thor protested under his nose. Though Emily had whispered, it didn’t prevent him from hearing her. Emily did not know Asgardians had such good hearing, so this was new information to her.

“Sorry!” She mumbled and quickly made her way to the kitchen.

“Sooo...” Rhodey looked at Thor, who was looking at Loki with what seemed to be the burden of the world over his shoulders. “Why the long face?”

“I believe my brother thinks I’m becoming the Allfather.” Loki said with a smirk, finally leaning back when he saw the confirmation on Thor’s face.

“How else could you explain your sleep earlier today? Even Valkyrie confirmed the possibility!”

Loki could see that his brother was not accusing him, but he was speaking out of concern. Concern for what though, he wasn’t sure just yet.

“Based on what, pray tell?” Loki crossed his legs.

“You summoned Gungnir, wielded Mjolnir and your sleep looked precisely the way father’s used to be.” 

“Wait, you could lift the hammer?” Steve was surprised.

“Oh yeah, forgot to tell you that.” Bucky nodded, which earned him a look from the retired captain. He shrugged, looking at his friend apologetically.

“Apparently I am now worthy as well, Captain.” Loki flashed a grin at Steve for a moment and turned his attention back to Thor. “Brother, first of all, like I had told you on the battlefield, I did not summon Gungnir. It just came to me. Secondly, I have no idea why I could pick up Mjolnir, I did it without thinking. And thirdly, while it looked like the Odinsleep, I am not becoming the Allfather. That is a whole different ritual than the spell I had used. For starters, I’m not the king of Asgard and the Realm Eternal does not exist anymore. The spell I used I had learned from mother and a number of Vanir shamans during my studies on Vanaheim. Specifically used to heal the mind and body after a seiðr transfer.”

“How come Emily didn’t need one then?” Thor asked. He was trying to understand what Loki was saying. He was hoping it was true and he was not being forced to take a role he did not wish to take.

“Wait, what does Emily have to do with this?” Rhodey asked, looking back and forth between the brothers. Bucky and Steve were listening intently.

Loki sighed. Thor and his big mouth. “When Emily resuscitated me, that one time I went into a cardiac arrest, my seiðr accidentally transferred itself into her. I only got it back yesterday on the battlefield when the mutant killed me.”

“You mean you actually died there? I thought you were just knocked out.” Rhodey was officially confused.

“Omega Red literally sucked the life out of people with his tentacles.” Bucky explained. “So Loki was actually dead when he dropped him.”

Morgan suddenly came out from behind Loki’s armchair. “You had the same dream like me? With the big scary man?”

Loki looked at everyone around, cursing inwardly at not thinking about her still being around. He pulled her onto his lap and smiled. “Apparently we shared a dream, little one. I saw you in my dream. Did you see me in yours?”

She grinned at him and nodded. “At first I saw daddy flying! Then when he landed, it was you! And you saved me and mommy from the big scary man!”

“Oh wow! That is amazing! In my dream you saved me! You were flying and then you fought the scary man and came to my rescue!” He smiled fondly at her as she clapped her hands and hopped off his lap and ran to the kitchen, excitedly telling her mom and Emily about how she had saved Loki in his dream.

“Nice save.” Steve said, grinning.

“Thanks.” Loki sighed in relief. It was a close call, even though he knew Wanda’s spell work wasn’t one that could be easily undone, but it still made his heartbeat elevate a bit. And for some reason, weaving that lie left a tangy feeling behind. He did not enjoy lying to Morgan, despite it being out of concern.

“Brother, back to the topic at hand.” Thor finally said, leaning his elbows over his knees. “Are you certain it was the spell that you used?”

Loki nodded. “I assure you brother. I did not experience the Odinsleep and will never be able to. If anything, you’re the only one alive who might get to that point, if you ever take back the throne.”

“That’s not gonna happen.” Thor huffed. He had no desire for the throne. At least not for the time being. The Valkyrie was doing an amazing job ruling New Asgard, after all. Speaking of which, “what about the Valkyrie, then?”

Loki shook his head. “Only those with blood relation to the House of Odin can ever take on the burdens of the Allfather.”

“So that means even if you did become king, you still won’t get the... burdens, as you put it?” Rhodey asked out of curiosity.

“Indeed.” Loki nodded, then turned to Thor. “Why were you concerned, though, brother?”

It was Thor’s turn to sigh. “I simply do not wish you to be forced to do something against your will.”

Loki appreciated the sentiment behind his brother’s reaction to the misinterpretation of his spell. “That’s very kind of you, brother.” He smiled at Thor. Genuinely smiled, like the times when they were much younger, void of any burdens their titles would later put upon them.

Thor smiled back and could finally relax. He trusted his brother’s words and knowledge of anything seiðr related.

“Dinner’s ready!” Came Emily’s voice from the kitchen before she appeared with a stack of plates and started setting the table.

Loki got up to help with setting the table. Bucky did so as well, on pure instinct. Soon they were all sitting around the table, eating and chatting without a care in the world. As if the past week and especially yesterday hadn’t happened before.

It was a nice change, especially for Pepper. She needed the company, the distraction. She was grateful to have a caring family and friends around her. She looked at Emily helping Morgan with her food, then turned her gaze to Loki and Bucky conversing, while Thor was laughing loudly at something Rhodey had said.

“You okay?” Steve asked, his voice low enough for only her to hear.

“I am now.” She smiled, taking a sip of water. “I’m happy that you came today.”

“Sorry I couldn’t be here before.”

She shook her head. “Don’t say that. I know you would have been the first one to jump into action if you could.”

“I did get lectured by Bucky and Sam.” He chuckled. “In the end I figured staying put would be best. Again, I’m sorry.”

“Steve, you were there by spirit.” Pepper placed a hand over his on top of the table. “That’s all that matters to me. And she’s back home and safe now.”

Her last statement felt more like she was telling it to herself rather than Steve and it was okay. She needed to hear it; to say it out loud in order to believe it. She glanced at her daughter who was munching happily, she could finally believe that her daughter was safe.

-*-*-*-*-*-

As the days went by, everyone was slowly getting back into their daily routines. It had been a month since they had saved Morgan. Emily had been staying at the tower ever since the kidnapping, only going to her own apartment to pick up something she might have needed. She was starting to contemplate going back to her own place, but something was keeping her at the tower. Pepper didn’t mind the company, and Morgan was over the moon having both Emily and Hugo around all the time. Not to mention Loki, who was simply ecstatic about spending day and night with her.

Loki absolutely loved waking up in the mornings with her beside him. He loved kissing her goodbye before either of them would go to work. He loved kissing her upon coming back from work. He loved her, her existence. Quite often he wondered what good he had done in his life that earned him the honour of having her become a part of his life.

He had visited his therapist, Matt, a few days after he had gotten his seiðr back. He was mentally feeling much better, mainly because his powers helped him heal his own mind through meditation spells. Matt was a bit apprehensive about it, noting that while he did not understand how magical healing worked, he could not force Loki to stay in therapy. They finally came to the decision that Loki was welcome to come back to him if he ever felt the need for a professional. Loki, while convinced he was fine now, did not argue the offer. He hoped to see Matt outside of an office setting, as a friend, instead of a therapist. Matt was happy to accept.

Jess had been recovering nicely under Emily’s strict supervision. Once her vitals were stabilized, Loki offered to heal the gun shot wound, to which Jess had immediately agreed. While the wound had healed, Emily still kept Jess under a strict recovery schedule as not only her body needed recovery, but also her mind. While Jess kept protesting the mothering Emily was forcing on her, she still did as her friend requested of her. Therapy sessions had been arranged, as well as a few girls nights outs. Those were a mix of movie nights at the penthouse with Pepper or going out to the city with just the two of them.

Loki was not fond of the evenings where he had to stay at home while the ladies were having fun without him. Those evenings he spent either pestering Thor or meditating. Sometimes he would take Hugo out for long walks, and was always happy to come back home to Emily after Jess had left and Pepper was off to bed.

He also kept himself fit by visiting the gym and sparring with Thor. Occasionally, Sam and Bucky would come over and join them. Sometimes Wanda would show up for a training session. Loki favoured her visits, since during those they would be sparring using magic. While he had centuries of experience, he discovered that could definitely learn a thing or two from Midgardian magic. He drew parallels between Wanda’s magic and his, whenever he would encounter something similar and he would discuss it with her.

To the bystanders, their conversations sounded like a discussion about sci-fi movies. To them, it was science, magic, alchemy, seiðr, the Mystic Arts and two scholars discussing them. While Loki was born with seiðr, Wanda’s magic had come from a lab experiment. While her experience had been horrible, he still found it fascinating how the limited minds of the Midgardians had managed such a feat.

Wanda wasn’t sure if that was a compliment or an insult, but she didn’t push it. She was happy to have someone around who could teach her about magic and was also ready to learn from her, as limited as her knowledge was compared to his.

To everyone’s surprise, Peter started showing up at the tower. One weekend he had called Pepper, asking if it was okay if he would drop by. While he had relatively hashed things out with Loki during the time they were looking for Morgan, he was still apprehensive at times. 

Loki didn’t mind it and he gave Peter the space he needed. Whenever Peter was around, Loki would make sure he wouldn’t stay too long, in case Peter felt uneasy about it. Emily started noticing how little time Loki would spent at the penthouse whenever Peter came to visit. She knew why he was doing it, but that didn’t mean she liked it. She decided to try and remedy that.

The next time Peter was at the tower, Emily decided to take Loki and Peter out for a walk with Hugo and Morgan.

“We’re going walkies! We’re going walkies!” Morgan was chanting as she ran from living room to kitchen to bedroom and back.

“I swear that kid has the energy of a nuclear station.” Emily shook her head as she grabbed Hugo’s leash.

“She gets that from her dad.” Pepper grinned, handing a picnic basket to Loki.

Loki raised an eyebrow as he took the basket and looked inside. “I thought we were going on a walk?”

“And we’ll have a picnic.” Emily said and called Hugo to her side.

“I love picnics!” Peter was bouncing on his heels. “Hey Morgan! We’re going on a picnic!” He called and Morgan stormed back to the living room.

“PICNIC!” Her excitement was palpable as she jumped around, making Hugo bark excitedly.

“Okay, okay, let’s get going before you two exhaust me and I call the whole thing off. Out!” Emily pointed a finger towards the elevator with a huge grin on her face.

“Well, see you later.” Loki told Pepper and followed Emily into the elevator, as did Peter and Morgan.

“So where are we going?” Peter asked when they left the tower.

“The dog park. It’s pretty nice for a picnic.” Emily smiled as she walked at Loki’s side, holding his hand. 

Morgan was holding Peter’s hand and was practically pulling him along. She was too excited and couldn’t wait to get to the park. They didn’t do picnics that often and whenever they did, to her it was like Christmas, Easter, Halloween and birthdays rolled into one. No one understood why she loved picnics that much, but she did. Her reaction over picnics always brightened everyone’s mood. Today was no different.

Emily hoped to use that to get Loki and Peter become more comfortable around each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are always much appreciated :)


	49. Chapter 49

One Saturday morning, Emily woke up in her room to an empty bed. It seemed that Loki had gotten up early and when she looked at the time, it was 7AM. He must have taken Hugo for a walk.

She groaned at the slight cramp she felt in her lower abdomen. She got off the bed and dragged herself to the bathroom. Another groan escaped her lips as she noticed a few dark spots on her underwear. “Oh come on! Not again!” She whined at no one in particular and pulled her panties off and tossed them into the laundry basket. “Stupid period.” She mumbled as she stepped into the shower.

Once done with shower, she put a tampon in and moved on to getting dressed. She felt extremely irritated by the fact her period seemed to have had started out of the blue. After deciding on a simple home outfit, which consisted of a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, she pulled her hair into a loose ponytail and dragged herself to the kitchen to make some coffee.

She was leaning against the counter, eyes squint shut against the cramps and fatigue she felt as she waited for the coffee to brew. Loki walked in and upon seeing her bent forward over the counter, he thought nothing of it, walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her abdomen.

Emily flinched and pulled herself away from him. “Loki, no.” She put a hand over her stomach as she stood slightly bent forward.

“Darling, are you alright?” At first he was shocked at her reaction, but upon seeing she was in pain, his expression turned into that of worry. He gently reached out for her and she let him embrace her.

“I’m sorry about my reaction.” She sighed. “My period apparently started. I’ve got cramps and I feel tired.”

“Oh but darling, that is easy to remedy.” He kissed her forehead and placed his palm over her lower abdomen, sending a gentle healing spell to ease the pain.

Emily sighed into his embrace as the pain subsided. “I keep forgetting you can do that now.” She smiled, looking up at him. “Thank you.”

“No need to thank me, my love. You will never have to experience pain for as long as I live.” He leaned down and brushed his lips against hers in a gentle kiss. “Now, how about you get back to bed and I bring you your coffee and some breakfast?”

“I feel spoiled.” She nuzzled his chin. “I think I’m craving some scrambled eggs today.”

“I’ll prepare some.”

As Emily left the kitchen, Loki turned his attention to the task at hand. He quickly prepared some scrambled eggs, bacon and toast. He put them on a bed tray along with two cups of coffee and brought them to the bedroom.

Emily was sitting in bed, her back leaning against the headboard with Hugo laying on the bed at her feet. Loki walked in and closed the door behind him, put the tray over her lap and went to sit at her side.

“How did you sleep, love?” He asked as he picked up his cup of coffee.

“As good as I always do when you’re next to me.” She smiled at him as she started eating. “You?”

“Likewise.”

With the second bite, Emily made a face. “Loki, I’m so sorry, but I can’t eat this. It tastes funny.”

“I believe the eggs were fresh.” Loki raised an eyebrow and took the fork from her to have a taste. He tilted his head left to right as he sampled the food, wondering what funny taste she meant. “It tastes normal to me.”

“Hmm..” Emily contemplated for a moment, already feeling guilty about telling Loki the food he had made for her didn’t taste good. “I think it’s my period playing games on my taste buds. I’m so sorry.” She leaned her forehead against his arm. “Forgive me?” She tried giving him the best puppy eyes she could muster.

Loki chuckled and raised her chin to look at her. “There’s nothing to apologize for, my love.”

Her stomach rumbled and all of a sudden she felt sick. She closed her eyes and frowned, leaning back against the headboard as she took deep, slow breaths.

“My love, you look pale. Are you alright?” Loki took away the tray from her lap and set it aside. He ran his fingers against her cheek and gasped at how cold her skin was feeling.

Emily didn’t respond and fought against the bile in her throat. Maybe it would go back down if she focused.

“Emily.. can I fetch you something?”

She shook her head and stormed off the bed and into the bathroom. She hugged the toilet as she started throwing up. Loki was fast to run after her, kneeling next to her and holding her hair back. He rubbed circles over her back as her stomach kept contracting violently and forcing everything up and out. Her face was white and dripping bile, sweat and tears. She lurched forward and sunk to her knees, heaving even though there was nothing left to go.

Loki reached for a towel as she dropped to his side, shaking like a leaf while he held her tight. He gently wiped her mouth and face, then helped her up to sit on top of the toilet after he put down the lid. He wet the towel and dabbed her face and the back of her neck. Worry written all over his face as he silently cleaned her. He then helped her up to stand at the sink, strong arms holding her as she rinsed her mouth and brushed her teeth.

“Let’s go to bed, love. Can you walk?” He spoke gently. Emily nodded and leaned against him, all energy suddenly leaving her as her knees buckled. Loki held her in his arms, picking her limp body up and bringing her to bed.

He brushed the hair off her face. She was shaking even though the room was heated. Loki’s heart was frantically thumping against his ribcage as he worried about her. Whatever this Midgardian ailment was that hit her all of a sudden, he was not going to sit idle and watch her suffer.

Closing his eyes, he brought his hand to her stomach and cast a healing spell. To his surprise, the spell was resisting him. He opened his eyes and cast the spell again and watched how the green glow left his palm, reached her stomach and returned to its source.

“Huh... peculiar...” he mumbled. Why was her body rejecting his healing spell? He tried it a couple more times and it didn’t work. Feeling frustrated, he opted to warm her up instead to stop the shivering. Casting another spell, he noticed her body slowly stopped trembling. He pulled the blanket over her and sat next to her on the bed, holding her hand as he watched her breathing slow down.

“My love, can you hear me?”

Emily slowly opened her eyes, feeling disoriented for a moment before her vision focused and she saw Loki at her side. “How did I get back here.” She asked, trying to sit up, but Loki put a hand over her shoulder.

“Please don’t move, love. You have just fainted.”

She raised an eyebrow at that. “What do you mean I fainted? I never faint.”

Loki smiled, gently caressing her cheek. “Well, apparently you just did.”

“Might be a stomach bug... or maybe low blood sugar. I don’t think yesterday’s dinner would do this.”

“Could be that. Though something peculiar had happened.”

“What do you mean?”

“I tried a healing spell, and your body repelled it. But it didn’t reject my magic when I cast a warming spell.”

“Okay... I’m not really sure how magic is supposed to work.”

“Well, your body isn’t supposed to repel a simple healing spell.” He furrowed his eyebrows as he wrecked his brain trying to understand it. His mother had told him once about this, but he couldn’t remember the details.

“If you say so.” Despite Loki’s protests, Emily sat up and he put pillows behind her back.

“Can I get you something, love?” He figured while he tried to remember any and all details about this kind of phenomenon, he should be useful in a non-magical way, too.

Emily studied his face for a bit and smiled. “Some green tea would be nice. Half a teaspoon sugar, please.”

Loki smiled and went to the kitchen to prepare the requested tea. Emily grabbed her phone from the nightstand and called Pepper.

_“Why are you calling when you’re literally on the other end of the corridor?”_ Pepper sounded amused.

“I fainted.”

The line dropped and a few seconds later Pepper came into the bedroom. “What happened? You okay?” She fussed all over Emily, checking her head, face, arms for any signs of injury.

“I’m okay, Pep.” Emily pushed her cousin’s hands away, smiling. “Loki caught me in time. It’s probably low blood sugar. I threw up my breakfast, which wasn’t much to begin with, but it tasted funny and suddenly I’m all over the toilet seat.” She shrugged.

Pepper sat down on the edge of the bed. This sounded familiar. “Em, when’s...”

Pepper’s question was interrupted when Loki walked back into the room, holding a mug of tea. “Good morning, Pep.” He said and handed Emily the tea. He then climbed back onto the bed and sat at her side. “Anything else you need, love?”

“This is fine, thank you.” She smiled at him and took a sip. “Ugh, too sweet, but it’ll do.” She made a face and took another sip.

“My apologies. I can make another one!” Loki was about to get off the bed when Emily held his hand.

“No need. You know I don’t like my tea sweetened, so any amount of sugar would make it too sweet.” She smiled and patted the spot next to her for him to stay. “This is good, I need the sweetness right now.”

“Alright.” Loki sat back down and gave Pepper a concerned look.

“I’ll go get someone to come up and check up on you.” Pepper got up and walked to the door. “Today you’re staying in bed. 

“Pep, I’m fine. I promise. I’ll be fine after a nap. Really.” Emily gave Pepper a look that just pleaded her to drop it and Pepper sighed. She’ll talk to her cousin later.

“Okay. But if you pass out again I’m calling doctor Frank.”

“Not gonna happen.” Emily flashed her a grin and Pepper shook her head as she walked out the room, closing the door behind her.

“Love, is there anything I can do for you while you’re resting?” Loki wiped a strand of hair off her face and tucked it behind her ear.

“How about you get comfy? I have a sickness ritual and you’ll get to experience it with me.”

Loki perked up and got himself comfortable at her side. They always had new ‘firsts’ to experience together. He hadn’t known about her sickness ritual and was curious to find out what it entailed.

Emily grabbed the remote from the bedside table, turned on the TV and went to the apps. She scrolled through and turned Netflix on.

“Your sickness ritual is watching a movie?” Loki raised an eyebrow, already amused about where this was going.

“Not a movie.” She replied, scrolling down the list. “A series called Outlander.”

“What is it about?”

“A woman out of her time. She accidentally gets transported to the 18th century and ends up among the highlanders there. It’s set in Scotland and it’s amazing.”

“How come you’ve never mentioned it before?” Loki smiled.

“I guess it never came up?” She shrugged, pressing play. “I only watch it when I’m sick. So it became some sort of a ritual.” She chuckled and sipped on her tea, making yet another disgusted face at the overly sweet taste.

They watched the episode together in silence, with Loki asking questions every now and then and Emily answering them promptly. He loved how invested she was in the show and that she knew so many details, be it from the show itself or Midgardian history, which turned out to be a big part of the storyline. She had even told him the show was based on a book series. When she saw his eyes shining at the mention of books, she promised to bring her copies for him to read next time she goes to her apartment.

Halfway through the second episode, Loki felt Emily’s head resting against his shoulder. He looked at her and grabbed the empty tea mug that fell on her lap as she fell asleep and set it aside. He then carefully moved her so she was laying down and pulled the covers over her. While Emily slept, Loki continued watching the show. He had nothing else to do and spending the day with his beloved, even if she was asleep, was simply perfect.

By the time Loki finished watching two more episodes, Emily started waking up. She opened her eyes and looked at him. He was completely engrossed in the series, his full attention was on the TV screen. As the credits started rolling, he finally grabbed the remote and turned the device off.

Emily snuggled closer to him and lay her head over his thigh. “Hey.”

“Good afternoon, my love.” Loki stroked her hair with utmost gentleness. “How are you feeling?”

“Better.”

“I’m glad to hear.” He smiled. “If you are up to it, I suggest we have a light lunch? Seeing as you didn’t have breakfast.”

“That’s a nice idea.”

“Would you prefer lunch here or the dining table?”

“Dining table. I don’t feel like staying in bed all day.” She slowly sat up and instead of getting out of bed, she wrapped her arms around Loki’s waist and lay her cheek over his chest. “Comfortable.” She mumbled.

Loki chuckled and kissed the top of her head. “I doubt it is comfortable for your back, though.” He wrapped his arms around her.

“My back has no say in this.”

“How about we first have something to eat and afterwards we come back to bed and you can hold me in any way and for as long as you wish?” He gently caressed her cheek and she nodded, but didn’t make any attempt to move. Loki didn’t mind it, per se, but he wanted her to eat something. He was tempted to just use his seiðr to get the food to the room, but he decided against it.

“Love, we kind of need to get off the bed if we want to have lunch?” He spoke softly, his lips moving gently against her head.

“Yeah...” she sighed and finally sat up. “I feel exhausted for some reason.”

“It’s the lack of sustenance. I’m sure you’ll feel better after you ate something.”

Emily nodded and Loki stood up, holding her hand to help her up as well. They took their time changing their clothes before they went to the dining room. Loki was extremely careful to not have her do more than the bare minimum, which consisted of walking and sitting down. He took care of the rest. He prepared them a light lunch and set the table. When he saw Morgan coming into the living room, he added more plates and utensils for her and Pepper as well.

“FRIDAY, please inform Pepper lunch is ready.” He said as he finished making the last sandwich and put it on the tray.

“We’re having lunch?” Pepper asked when she came to join them at the dining table.

“Yep.” Emily replied with a smile.

“How are you feeling?” Pepper sat down across from Emily and helped Morgan to the seat next to hers.

“Dishevelled, but better than earlier.”

“Did you pass out again?” Pepper gave her a look.

“FRIDAY would have told you if I had.” Emily poked her tongue at her and then grinned. “But no, I haven’t. It was weird enough one time. I don’t want to do it again.”

Loki finally joined them and placed a bowl of yogurt and a plate of fruit cut in small pieces in front of Emily.

“Since we don’t know what caused your stomach disturbance in the morning, I figured starting with yogurt and fruit should be safe enough.”

“You’re very considerate. Thank you.” She kissed him, which made Morgan giggle and they smiled.

“Anything for you, my love.”

Through lunch and the whole afternoon, despite both Loki and Pepper insisting that she go see a doctor, Emily refused to do so. She didn’t find it necessary. Pepper even went and called Jess. Maybe a friend would be able to convince Emily to at least get a simple blood test done. That didn’t work either and Emily simply scorned at all of them.

It wasn’t that she was being stubborn by refusing to see a doctor. It wasn’t even that she was actually sick. She recognized the symptoms. After running them through her head, she recognized them as she had experienced them once before.

And it filled her heart with terror.


	50. Chapter 50

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are pretty perceptive! I won't say more than that since spoilers are not cool xD (and that's why I hadn't replied to any of your comments until now and it's been eating me up! I don't like leaving comments hanging without a reply lol)  
> Thank you so much for all your comments on the previous chapter! They literally brightened my day!

Emily felt extremely guilty that evening when she asked Loki to sleep separately. She felt her heart shatter to pieces for the concerned look he gave her. She did not want to do this to him, but she needed some time alone. She needed to keep herself from going into a full on panic mode. She did not have a confirmation to what the symptoms actually meant, but she was dreading the possibility.

The next days Emily seemed quite distant. Whenever Loki tried to get close she would try to come up with an excuse to not be touched or held. Loki didn’t say anything, but he was getting more concerned about her. He had never seen her like this before. No matter what went on, they were always together. She was the solid mountain he could lean on whenever he was feeling weak because of his mental state. But now? Now Emily was keeping to herself, staying in her room with the door locked. She’d only be out when she was at work or when it was time to eat if she didn’t have any day shifts. Pepper kept trying to talk to her, but Emily dismissed her concerns by saying she was fine, that it was probably just an after shock from the day they went to save Morgan. Using Loki’s death as a reason for her to be not in the right state of mind, even though he had very much survived.

She had finally had the courage to go to the pharmacy and get the test she needed to do. She knew that it wasn’t completely reliable, but it was close enough. She’d get an actual test done at the medical facility at a later point anyway, but for her own peace of mind, she needed to do it.

She hadn’t seen Loki that day, which at first she thought was good. But as the day had gone by, she started wondering whether the way she’d been treating him had finally caught up with him. That he had had enough and decided not to try and talk to her. It broke her heart, but she didn’t know what else to do. Despite those thoughts that plagued her mind, he was still gentle and caring with her. He showed concern whenever she pulled away from an attempt to embrace her. The sadness in his eyes whenever she pulled her hand away when he would try to hold it felt like a stab in her guts. It hurt, but it would hurt more if this was what she feared it would be and the possibility of it ending the way it had the first time came flashing through her mind, making her swallow a lump in her throat.

She paid the pharmacist and shoved the test into her bag before she went to her car and drove to her apartment. She was feeling anxious. She hadn’t even had breakfast that day and it was almost late in the afternoon. She felt nauseous and she hoped it was just the hunger that was causing it and not whatever it was a few days ago.

As she walked into her apartment, she put her bag on the couch and sat down, pulling her phone out. A little online research wouldn’t hurt. She knew from memory -either from her nursing school books or her own experience- that a few drops of blood were a possibility. Quite a few women experienced it and they all would think they were having their period at first. That’s what she thought as well. Though by the end of the day when she went to change her tampon, it came out clean, with only a drop at the tip of it, quite unlike her usual first day of her actual period, where it would have normally been soaked.

She shuddered at the possibility as she read a few articles. Drops of blood were normal, several women would experience it, but not all. It was not common, but also not impossible. After all, every woman was different, as were their experiences.

The written symptoms matched hers and her eyes welled up. She finally turned off her phone and put it aside. Then she grabbed her bag and took the box out and stared at it for a while. With shaking hands, she got up and went to the bathroom. It was time to find out.

She put the test on the edge of the sink as she pulled her pants up and flushed. She avoided looking at it while she washed her hands. Once done, she walked out of the bathroom and went to sit on the couch. She shook her leg as she waited, biting her thumb in an attempt to not drive herself to insanity.

She could feel her heart beating hard against her chest. The five minutes wait were the longest she had ever experienced. She started pacing the room as her anxiety started peaking. If she would move, then maybe the anxiety would go away, or she could at least ignore it for a while. 

The timer she had set up on her smart watch started beeping and her heart almost stopped. What if her fear came true? What if she had to relive the nightmare she had gone through seven years ago? What if Loki decided to leave her after this? How will she move on? Will she be able to move on at all this time?

With tears flowing down her cheeks, she slowly walked into the bathroom and cast her eyes over the test that lay on top of the sink.

-*-*-*-*-*-

Loki was getting restless. Emily had started acting weird around him after the day she had felt unwell. She had requested to sleep separately, which was the first shock for him out of many that followed. She had rejected every attempt at closeness or intimacy he had made. Every time he would try to hold her hand, she would pull hers away and occupy herself with something. Whenever he tried to hug her or kiss her, she would dodge out of the way and come up with an excuse to not be in the same room with him. He kept wondering if he had done something wrong, but she just wouldn’t talk to him! She kept saying everything was fine and that her mind was a bit preoccupied. When he had asked Pepper whether she knew what was going on with Emily, all Pepper could tell him was that Emily thought it was the after shock from the battle. But he could see on Pepper’s face that there was more to it.

It’s been over a month since the battle. He would have noticed any signs of distress originating from the happenings that day way sooner. He had his ways of detecting these kind of things, be it using his seiðr or coaxing it out with his Silvertongue. Emily was for him usually an open book. Though in certain aspects, she could very well hide her emotions when she wanted to.

If he could only figure out what was happening with her!

Loki was at his wits end. He knew he must have done something wrong, otherwise Emily would not be shutting him out like that. So he decided to give her some space that day and he did not go upstairs for breakfast like he had done in the past days. He had taken his breakfast in his office and occupied himself with work until late in the afternoon. After which he had called Bucky and they had a training session together, leaving both heaving and drenching in sweat at the end of it.

“You seemed a bit distracted there.” Bucky said, grabbing a bottle of water and taking a long sip.

“My apologies. I seem to have a bit of a problem.” Loki grabbed his towel and started drying his face and neck.

“Anything I can help with?”

Loki shook his head. “Unless you have some relationship advice, I doubt it. But thanks for the offer.”

“Well, I’ve never been in a relationship since the forties, and even then it was only one night stands.” Bucky shrugged as he emptied the bottle. “But sometimes an unexperienced thought might help? I don’t know. Even if it’s just lending an ear, I’m there for you, man.”

Loki pursed his lips in a tight smile and nodded. “I appreciate it. It’s just a rough patch Emily and I are going through. I’m sure we can work it out.”

Bucky nodded and tossed the empty bottle into the garbage can. “I hope you can work it out. But the offer still stands if you ever need an ear to vent at.”

Loki was immensely grateful for Bucky’s offer to lend him a listening ear. Though he was not one to discuss his private life with anyone other than Emily, he still appreciated the sentiment. 

Just before Bucky headed to the shower, he turned around. “You know, a surprise dinner and some flowers can be a good first step.” He said with a slight grin.

“It might actually be.” Loki smiled as he threw his towel over his shoulder and walked towards the exit, heading upstairs.

After he was done showering, he dried his hair and got dressed. He put on the perfume that he knew Emily liked smelling on him. Maybe surprising her with dinner wasn’t such a bad idea. He checked the time and it was six in the afternoon. Enough time to either cook or order in. Thor wasn’t there tonight, so Loki could actually have a private and romantic dinner with Emily. He’d ask FRIDAY to have Thor not to disturb them if he had returned before they were done eating.

But first, he needed to check whether Emily was working that evening or not. She would usually inform him of her work schedule, but since they hadn’t had any proper interaction for the past few days, he did not know what shift she was working today.

“FRIDAY, what shift did Emily have today?”

“She had the day off, Sir.”

Loki’s brows knitted over his forehead as he frowned. She had a day off and did not even send him a message or suggest to at least have lunch together like they usually did. It was weird and it was foreign. He highly disliked the notion that she was slipping away from him and he had no idea what he had done.

“Is she upstairs?” He asked again.

“Negative. She has been out since this morning.”

“Any idea where to?”

“Negative. It seems that she has turned off all her devices. I cannot track her location.”

That made Loki’s breath hitch as anxiety started building up. Emily _never_ turned off all her devices. Something must have happened to her... or she had decided to leave him. All of a sudden Loki was panicking. He hadn’t experienced a panic attack since he had gotten his powers back, but it seemed that he was still prone to them. Sitting down at the edge of his bed, he started breathing slowly, trying to calm himself. But the more he kept thinking something had happened to her, the more he failed to do anything about the suffocating sensation in his chest.

“Get... Pepper...” he managed to say between breaths while he clawed at his chest, trying to unbutton his shirt.

Pepper rushed into his room moments later and immediately knelt before him. “Loki look at me.” She kept her voice level and confident, yet soft at the same time. “FRIDAY told me what happened. Remember to breathe, okay? Just like you used to do.” She took his hands into hers.

“Can’t... trace her...” he looked at Pepper with tears in his eyes, while he tried to focus on his breathing. It wasn’t working. “Did she... did she leave me?”

“Oh God, Loki, no!” Pepper strengthened the hold on his hands. “Why would you think that? Deep breaths, now. Slowly.”

Loki kept taking deep breaths, holding them in and exhaling slowly. Pepper did the same along with him, instructing him patiently until he managed to calm down a bit.

“I don’t know what happened. I thought I had healed myself from this.” He said, leaning forward and Pepper caught him into a hug.

“Any idea what triggered it?” She ran soothing circles over his back before they let go of each other and Pepper came to sit beside him.

“FRIDAY said she couldn’t track her devices and that did it.” He took a deep breath and exhaled with a shuddered sigh.

“That doesn’t mean something happened, nor does it mean she left you.” She smiled at him, her hand going over his shoulder. “I’m sure she’s fine and is probably taking a walk in the park and her battery died or something.”

“Pepper, I don’t know what I’ve done and she didn’t want to talk to me.” He turned to face her. “She doesn’t let me get near her. She’s been out since this morning and still not back. She can’t be at the park for this long. She’s definitely left me.”

“There’s a lot on her mind, Loki, but one thing I know for sure.” She took hold of his hand again and squeezed. “She did _not_ leave you. Trust me on that.”

“I want to, Pep. I really do. I just...”

“Let’s see what FRIDAY has to say.” It would not help matters if Loki would get too stressed about Emily’s whereabouts. While she had an idea where she might have been, she wasn’t sure if she should tell Loki just yet or not. Though there was also the possibility that she really was at the park. “FRIDAY, what’s Emily’s last known location?”

“At her apartment, boss.”

“When was that?” Loki looked up, wiping his cheeks.

“This afternoon.”

He turned to Pepper, determination in his eyes. “I’m going to her.”

“I’d say wait for her to come to you, but you won’t listen, won’t you?” She smiled when he shook his head with a little smirk forming over his lips. “Then go to her. And bring her back home.” She got up to leave the room, but before she could do that Loki had already disappeared. “Okay, I definitely need to learn how to do that.” She mumbled to herself with a chuckle as she walked out and closed the door behind herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now we all know where this is heading, right? But, is she pregnant or not? We'll see!
> 
> I did do some research before putting the period thing in, of course. I even remember it from my gynecology class at med school (yes, a doctor here *waves* not practicing anymore, though. In the middle of changing careers atm.) Not every woman is the same and some do get a bit of spotting throughout the whole pregnancy even. Naturally, I had to use the stereotypical fainting part for dramatic effect lol. Yes, some women do experience that, but again, not all of them. None of the women in my family had ever fainted due to pregnancy. Most didn't even experience morning sickness. And I do have a huge family. We're practically a clan I'd say haha (if you're from the Middle East or Armenian, you'll probably be able to relate lol)
> 
> Anyway, would love to hear your thoughts!
> 
> Also, if you're on Tumblr, feel free to follow me there and come say hi! My username is the same as here: [Kaogasm](https://kaogasm.tumblr.com).


	51. Chapter 51

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun dun dun dun...  
> The moment of truth...

Two lines.

This should have been something to be excited about. She would have been excited, had it not been for a horrible experience seven years ago. She _should_ have been excited because deep down she knew Loki was _not_ like the man she used to date before. But her emotions were so overwhelming that she couldn’t find a speckle of positivity within herself to feel happy about it.

Just like the first time, this was also an accident, despite being on birth control. Just like the first time, she hadn’t counted on the possibility of her body failing her and surprising her with a new life growing within her. Every book, every research paper, every doctor and nurse would tell you the pill was 99% effective. Leave it to her own body to cling to that 1% and make it happen. Defying the odds, just like Loki tend to do.

She did _not_ want a repeat of the agony she went through the first time.

When her eyes lay on the test on top of the sink, her stomach lurched and she dropped against the toilet. She heaved and heaved until there was nothing left but an empty pit within her gut. Her body shook violently as she stood up and flushed. With shaky hands, she turned on the faucet and washed her mouth and face. After brushing her teeth she dragged herself to her bedroom and curled up on her bed.

Why couldn’t she just be happy this had happened? Why couldn’t she enjoy it for what it could mean? She wanted a lifetime with Loki, to create a family to call their own. But not like this! Not when at the first sign of a beginning of a dream come true, her past experience came crashing at her door and leaving her with nothing but a gut wrenching emotional pain.

She wanted to feel happy. She wanted to _celebrate_ it. But she was scared. Too terrified of the past coming to repeat itself. Terrified of the thought that she would lose this one as well and Loki would end up leaving her. She wished she had brought Hugo along. He would have been able to console her, at least for a while.

Emily’s sobbing was the sound of a heart breaking. Her cries had rawness to them, like a wound that was still open. She wished Loki was there with her. He would hold her and tell her everything would be alright, that he wouldn’t leave her. But what if he did? What if he didn’t want to have children? What if the pregnancy did go well, but he did not want to be part of it? They hadn’t spoken about it. They hadn’t discussed anything beyond protection. He had never mentioned anything about wanting to have kids.

Emily did not know what to do. It added to the level of terror she was feeling and that made her cry even more.

Loki appeared at the front door and knocked. He waited for a bit and when there was no answer, he rang the bell and waited some more. He could have just teleported himself inside the apartment, but he didn’t want to invade Emily’s privacy at a time she was being distant around him. The past few days did not change his feelings for her. He still loved her and he was extremely concerned about her. He was desperate to find out what was plaguing her mind. He could help, he knew he could. If she would only _talk_ to him.

She still didn’t answer the door and Loki wondered whether she had gone out. He walked over to the end of the corridor, where a window stood looking over the parking lot. Her car was there. Taking a deep breath he returned to her door and rang the bell again and waited. Maybe she was in the bathroom or something.

Emily heard the doorbell at first and ignored it. She was not in the mood for company, even if it was the old lady next door coming to give her the mail that had gotten mixed up with hers. She wiped her eyes and reached for a tissue to blow her nose when the doorbell rang again. Someone was determined to speak to her, it seemed.

Sitting up and trying to control her shaking limbs, she wiped her nose and grabbed another tissue to wipe her eyes before she went to answer the door. She was so out of it she didn’t even look through the peephole before opening like she usually did.

She stood frozen before him, despite her body shaking. Her face wet, her eyes red and swollen. Even her nose had a pink hue. If one didn’t know how Emily looked like after crying, they’d think she had a nasty cold. But Loki knew exactly how she looked when she cried. And this was not a look of happy or mild crying. This was the look of someone in pain. This was Emily, his Emily, being in pain and he did not know what caused it.

Trying his best to not show just how horrible he felt to see her like that, he cleared his throat before he spoke. “May I come in?” He asked in a soft tone.

This was it. He was going to find out and would most probably leave her. She wiped her tears and nodded as she stepped to the side, pulling the door further open along with her for him to walk in.

Once Loki was inside, Emily closed the door and lead him into the living room. Loki wanted to just grab her and pull her into his arms, but he wasn’t sure if that would be welcomed right now. Dodging his attempts was one thing, but getting an outright rejection would be like shredding his heart into pieces that he would never be able to put together ever again.

They sat at opposite sides of the couch. Emily pulled her knees to her chest as she tried to stop shaking. She should have made some tea. It always helped her after vomiting, but she hadn’t thought of that.

“Emily, what happened?” Loki asked, concern and worry now evident on his face and in his voice.

“I threw up.” She said, her throat felt dry and raw.

“Have you had tea?”

She shook her head and he stood up. He went to the kitchen and turned on the electrical water kettle. He had been to her apartment several times in the past and he knew where most things were.

Emily’s tears started flowing again and she hid her face between her knees to keep her sobs from being heard. Despite how she had treated him, he still cared for her. Why couldn’t she stop thinking that everything will go downhill once she told him about the test?

Loki prepared a cup of green tea and added some sugar to it. The last time she had asked for half a teaspoon, but she found it to be too sweet. So this time, he put quarter of a spoon, hoping that it wouldn’t be as sweet as before.

He came to kneel next to her and put his free hand over hers. She raised her head and wiped her eyes as she looked at him. The amount of love and care she saw in those jade green eyes made her tear up again. Why couldn’t she stop crying?!

Loki placed the tea cup on the nearby table and grabbed the tissue box. He pulled a couple of tissues out and started patting her eyes and cheeks. When she pulled her face when he tried to wipe her nose, he handed her the tissue and she did it herself. That made Loki smile and he ran a hand through her hair, tucking a few strands behind her ear.

“Tea?”

She nodded and he handed her the cup. She took a tentative sip, expecting the horrible sweetness against her tongue, but it was bearable. Like candy. “Less sugar?”

“Indeed. A quarter of a teaspoon.” He nodded, smiling.

“Genius.” She took another sip, the warm liquid washing down her sore throat. “Thank you.”

“Anything for you, my love.”

His soft voice that resembled a velvet ribbon simply wrapped itself around her trembling body. It felt nice and familiar. It felt like love. She dropped her gaze to the cup in her hands and pursed her lips in an attempt to stop more tears from falling down her cheeks.

Loki pulled himself off the floor and took a seat next to her, just against her legs. He gently ran the back of his hand at the side of her calf as he watched her being lost in turmoil. “What is it that’s bothering you this much, my love?”

He reached over to touch her cheek, but she slowly turned her face away. She _wanted_ him to touch her, to hold her, but she couldn’t let go of the fear that had been festering within her mind for the past few days. If he would leave her, it would be better if it was on her terms to avoid heartbreak.

But her heart was breaking even by simply thinking about it.

He wasn’t really shocked when she turned her face away. She had been avoiding him for a couple of days now. It felt like being simultaneously stabbed by a thousand daggers. He dropped his hand onto his lap and sighed, bringing his gaze down as well.

“What did I do?” He asked, his voice almost a whisper.

Emily turned to look at him, her eyes wide at the question. He hadn’t done anything! She was at fault here! She had failed their relationship! Her body was the reason for this!

“Loki...”

He looked at her, the weight of the world on his shoulders and it showed on his face. “You’ve been avoiding me for days. I must have done something. But I can’t do anything about it if I don’t know what it is.”

She put the cup of tea on the table and wiped her eyes. “You haven’t done anything.” She leaned her head against the back of the couch while she looked at him through tired, red eyes. “You’ve always been the most amazing person. Full of love and care, no matter what.”

“Then why, Emily?” He turned to sit sideways so he could face her. “Why have you been rejecting every attempt at closeness or intimacy?” His eyes conveyed what he couldn’t tell her. He felt lost, confused, in pain.

Emily’s nausea swirled unrestrained in her empty stomach. Her head swam with regrets and her heart felt as if her blood had become infected as she tried to keep a steady face. Her face was pale and her breathing was becoming fast again. The thought of what was to come made her break in cold sweat and she could feel another bout of bile moving upwards.

She slapped her palm over her mouth as she jumped off the couch and ran to the bathroom, dropping at the toilet once more. Loki had followed instantly and knelt beside her as he held her hair and rubbed her back in circle motions, while she heaved and heaved until there was nothing left of the tea she had just consumed.

Loki helped her up and held her tight while she washed her face. She held on to the sink for dear life and let her head drop down while she tried to catch her breath.

His eyes fell on the curious looking stick at the side of the sink. He didn’t know what it was, so he didn’t pay it much attention. His focus was on Emily and he stroked her hair, gently pulling it off her face.

“Let’s get you to bed.” He gently guided her along and watched curiously as she grabbed the stick and held it tightly as they walked to her bedroom.

She refused to lay down and opted to sit with her back leaning against the headrest. She was still holding the stick, like a treasure so precious she did not want anyone putting their hands on it.

“Can I get you something? The rest of your tea, maybe?”

“I don’t think I can keep anything down right now.” She replied, looking into her hand.

Loki brought a hand to her chin and gently raised her face to look into her eyes. She didn’t pull away this time, which made his heart do a little dance. “Please talk to me, my love. It kills me to see you this way.”

Her lips trembled as she looked at him. She needed to tell him. Not only because he had the right to know, but also because they had no secrets from each other. They talked about _everything_. Even things other couples would normally keep from each other. They shared everything with each other.

“I’m scared.” She admitted.

“I will always protect you, dearest. You do not need to be scared.” He gave her a gentle smile. “What is it that’s scaring you so much, that makes you distance yourself from me?”

Taking a deep, shuddering breath, she tightly closed her eyes as tears fell down her cheeks. Instead, she raised her hand and opened her palm. Loki looked at it.

The stick was turned upside down on the sink, so he hadn’t seen the text on the other side.

I not pregnant  
I I pregnant

Next to the text was a round window showing two pink, vertical lines.

Loki’s hand dropped from Emily’s chin as he stared at the text and the lines. His heart started beating frantically against his chest, as if it was about to explode. Was this what he thought it was? He felt his breath get caught in his throat, as if he was about to have a panic attack, only this time it felt different. It wasn’t panic or anxiety he was feeling. He couldn’t describe it, but he was feeling overwhelmed with emotions.

“W-what is that?” He asked, his voice low and careful, while he was burning with curiosity on the inside.

“A pregnancy test. I’m pregnant.” She dropped the test from her hand and pulled her legs to her chest. She hid her face against her knees as she cried. “I’m so sorry, Loki. I didn’t mean for this to happen. Please don’t leave me.”

Loki was overwhelmed by the fact that Emily was pregnant. It all made sense now. Why she was feeling unwell and especially why his healing spell didn’t work on her the first time she got sick. There was _nothing_ to heal! The only time a healing spell for an upset stomach wouldn’t work is when someone was pregnant! His mother had told him about this every time he got frustrated when he couldn’t heal a woman, who afterwards turned out to be pregnant. It was one of the fool proof ways to determine pregnancies, sometimes unknowingly to the person in question!

He had been a fool to forget such a lesson! He had helped Thor and his friends so many times with that! It’s why Volstagg ended up getting married!

His heart fluttered at the thought and his lips were in the middle of curving into a smile when she broke down crying and he heard what she said.

“What?” The smile that hadn’t even formed disappeared instantly. “You’re sorry? Leaving you?” He didn’t know how to feel at that point. Happiness was mixed with anger and shock. It was like being bathed in confetti and then someone decided to pour boiled water over his head. 

He grabbed her shoulders with a bit more force than he intended to, but it made her sit up. “What nonsense are you talking about?” His frown was as deep as his voice was threatening. “How _could_ you say something like that?”

“This wasn’t supposed to happen. We were being careful! And now I went and ruined it.” 

“Emily,” he cupped her face and forced himself to lower his tone, “why would you think that?”

“Celeste...”

Realization dawned on Loki and he sighed. Of course her mind would take her there. His did the same thing, despite the difference in circumstances and experience. Trauma was really good at haunting them. “You’re letting fear of a repetition deprive you of what should be a joyous time.” He wiped her tears with his thumbs. “Do you think so little of me? That I would treat you like the scum who broke your heart years ago?”

“I know you wouldn’t, but I couldn’t help it.” She looked into his eyes. “I’m scared, Loki. I don’t want to lose you.”

“You will never lose me. _Never._ ” He smiled at her. “So you made me go to Hel and back because you thought I’d leave you.”

“If you were going to, I wanted to make it easier.” She sniffed and closed her eyes. “Since the other day I recognized the symptoms. I was terrified. Everything I went through with Celeste came crashing down my head. I finally had the courage to take the test today.”

She had barely opened her eyes and let out a gasp of surprise when Loki pulled her into a tight hug. “You silly little mortal. You will be gifting me with the most precious gift in the universe beyond even the Nine Realms and you fear that I might leave you because of it?” He pulled back just a bit to look at her face. “As you would say, are you nuts?”

“What if I miscarry again?”

Loki’s face hardened at the unspoken accusation. “I will pretend you did not just imply that I would do that to you.” When she pressed her lips tight, he recognized the guilt in her eyes and he relaxed his jaw. He smiled once more as he stroked her hair. “Let me repeat myself, are you nuts?”

Emily giggled at that and leaned her forehead against his. “I’m sorry.”

“I know a way you can make up for it.” He grinned at her.

“Anything.”

“Announce it to me the way you would have wanted to, without any fear.” He sat back and looked at her with anticipation.

Emily smiled at that and wiped her eyes. It was amazing how easily he could get through to her. It was even more amazing how with only a look, she could see his love for her radiating through him. She reached for the discarded test stick again. “Loki?”

“Yes, dearest?”

“You might want to start taking diaper changing classes.”

“Whatever for?”

“You’ll be doing a lot of it.” She held the test in her palm and raised it to his line of sight.

Loki’s grin went ear to ear as he let his heart rattle against his ribcage in happiness. He pulled Emily into a hungry kiss, expressing his emotions and gratitude; and making up for the past few days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't have these two separated for too long, okay? They're my power couple.
> 
> Thanks everyone for all the comments and kudos! They brighten my days in ways you cannot even imagine <3


	52. Chapter 52

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone for the comments on the pervious chapter!
> 
> For this chapter, warning: smuuuuut!
> 
> Enjoy 😉

“I missed you...” Emily whispered as she let her head drop back against the headboard, exposing her neck to Loki, who was laying open mouthed kisses over her jawline.

“And I, you...” He breathed just under her ear, before he gently sucked at the sensitive spot.

Outside the window the sun was setting, filling the room with orange and pink ambient light. Emily’s hands trailed slowly over Loki’s arms, her fingers moving along the muscles that clenched and relaxed under her touch. A soft moan escaped her lips when his hands found their way under her shirt, lifting it up and caressing the warm skin of her abdomen. She turned her head and captured his lips in a hungry kiss when his palms found her breasts, making her moan into his mouth.

“Lay down, my love.” Loki instructed in a whisper so tender, it sent a pleasant shiver down Emily’s spine.

She slid down to lay on her back, while Loki hovered on top of her, bracing himself with his knees while his hands continued caressing her.

“I think we’re a bit overdressed.” She whispered, her hands reaching for his shirt and attempting to pull if off.

Loki smirked as he bent down and captured her lips once more. She felt something shift and move around her, like a gentle breeze blowing over her skin. In an instant it was gone and so were Loki’s lips from her own. 

She didn’t know when she had closed her eyes, so she opened them again when she felt his skin against her own instead of the clothes they were in. She looked him over and turned her gaze to his eyes. “I will never get used to how amazing that is.” She grinned, cupping his cheeks and pulling him back into yet another kiss.

Loki moaned into her mouth as she deepened the kiss, her tongue delving deeper into his own. His hand crept over her rips, his thumb brushing just under her breast. Emily’s hands slipped into his hair, her fingers curling into a fist at the back of his neck, as if to hold him in place for as long as he would let her.

His hands moved back to cup her breasts, and he moved the pad of his thumb over her perked nipples. Emily gasped as her body shivered in response, making Loki grin against her open mouth.

His lips moved down her jaw, licking and kissing his way down her neck. He hovered there a moment, gently sucking the warm skin at the crook of her neck, where he knew she liked being kissed.

“Harder.” She whispered, her palm firm against the back of his head.

Loki didn’t need to be told twice. Her silent request to be marked sent his blood rushing to his already aching groin as he sucked harder at the flesh. He licked the spot and looked into her eyes. Her pupils were so dilated that he could barely see the blue ring of her iris around it. He smiled and dipped his head back onto the same spot, sucking hard and at the same time, he pinched her nipples, making her moan his name loud and arch her back.

“Oh fuck, Loki...”

“Rest assured, my love, I will.” He smirked as he licked the offended spot and watched as her skin had turned a dark shade of pink. That will leave a nice bruise for a while.

He then continued his way down, kissing and licking her breasts. Her body writhed underneath his, her back arching while her juices had been flowing down her folds. Loki brought a hand down and ran his fingers against her clit. A devilish smirk crossed his face at the profanities Emily had used at that moment.

“You’re so sexy when you talk dirty.” He groaned against her breast before he took a nipple back into his mouth and flicked his tongue against it before he sucked hard. “You’re so wet I can hardly contain myself.”

More profanities came spilling out of Emily’s mouth. It wasn’t like this was the first time Loki was making love to her this way, but they haven’t been intimate for a few days, so it actually _felt_ like it was a first time.

She moved her hips against him, his erection feeling hard against her thigh. Loki inhaled sharply against her breasts and his hands moved to her waist. He kissed his way down her abdomen, paying a special attention to the lower part. He lay the softest of kisses over the spot where he knew his child will be growing for the upcoming months.

Emily’s breath hitched in her throat as he nuzzled her stomach before he continued on. His hands moving along the way and came to rest against her hips. She automatically spread her legs as he started kissing around her pubic bone, moving to her thigh and grazing his teeth against it.

He watched her reactions from the corner of his eyes. Her eyes were closed and her hands were clinging to the bedsheets. Her lips were slightly parted as she inhaled deep breaths and let out soft moans.

“Touch your breasts for me, love.” He spoke against her thigh. Once she cupped her breasts, he brought his head down between her legs.

The moment his tongue brushed over her clit, Emily moaned and arched her back. Loki smirked as he started sucking at the sensitive bud, his throat letting out groans of pleasure on its own.

Emily tossed her head back and raised her hips as she felt his fingers slip inside of her. The continued stimulation of tongue and fingers were quickly bringing her to the edge.

“Loki... fuck... don’t you dare stop...” she moaned and kept moving her hips, to the point that Loki had to hold her down with his other hand.

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” He said as he continued moving his fingers in and out of her, running his thumb against her clit.

“I’m cumming... oh fuck... Loki!” her body trembled as the waves or orgasm washed over her like violent tides of the ocean. Loki continued sucking her and licking the juices that kept flowing down his fingers. Only when her body stopped trembling did he remove his hand. He placed a soft kiss just above her clit before he crawled on top of her, making sure he wouldn’t crush her with his weight.

Her breathing was erratic and he could feel her heart beating violently against her chest. She opened her eyes and looked at him, watching him put his fingers that were inside of her a moment ago into his mouth and sucking them clean. He then leaned down and kissed her. She could feel her own taste in her mouth, making her moan into the kiss.

Her hands moved over his body, until she reached his erection. She wrapped her fingers around the hard flesh and started moving it up and down. She was rewarded with a deep groan from her beloved. She smirked and pushed him off of her, moving him so now he was laying on his back as she straddled him. She lay her hands flat over his chest as she moved her hips along his shaft, coating it with her juices.

Loki’s hands reached for her hips and raised his hips to add friction. The sensation was enough to drive him crazy and he dropped his head backwards as he couldn’t keep himself from groaning.

Emily took the opportunity to bend over him and start kissing his neck. The movement caused her to abandon his raging erection that required immediate attention. Sensing the displeasure upon loss of contact, she sat up again and raised herself a bit over his hips. “Look at me.” She commanded, running her palm over his cock.

Hungry eyes found hers and she could clearly see that Loki was _really_ holding himself back. She had no intention to tease him for long, because she needed him inside of her just as he needed to _be_ inside of her.

Holding his gaze, she brought his cock up and slowly descended herself over it, dropping her head back and moaning as she felt him fill her up with his length. “Fuck, you feel so good.” She whispered as his hands came to rest over her hips, while she started moving.

“And you feel magnificent.” Loki breathed out. He could definitely live an eternity watching her ride him into oblivion like that. She moved her hips slowly at first, and then picking up the pace, making her breasts bounce against her chest.

He could feel it approaching, his blissful release. He closed his eyes at first, focused on the gratifying sensation of her pussy around his cock. But he then opened his eyes and looked at her, watching every movement she made. She looked at him through half-lidded eyes, her breathing erratic and every exhale accompanied by a moan.

“I love you.” She said softly, rolling her hips around him, which made him close his eyes again as he felt overwhelmed with sensations. 

He opened his eyes once more and grabbed her hips, holding her in place and tightly cupping her ass as he started thrusting into her. “Touch yourself.” He said through gritted teeth and she obeyed.

Their breathing was coming harsher, more needy. Their voices filled the small bedroom and the bed was shaking underneath them.

“Emily... I’m...”

“Me too...”

They cried out in unison as they both reached their peak. Loki’s grip over her hips was going to leave bruises as he emptied himself inside of her, his body trembling with each thrust until he was spent.

Emily let herself drop on top of him and he wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight against his body as they kissed.

“I love you, too.” Loki whispered against her cheek, holding her tight and not wanting to let go just yet.

She didn’t need to hear the words to know it. She could feel it in his voice, in the way he held her. She could see it in his eyes, fire burning within them and it was all for her and her alone.

She smiled as she nuzzled his jaw. “I missed you so much. I’m sorry for being so distant the past few days.”

“I missed you too.” He smiled as he stroked her hair. “The only thing I ask of you is to not shut me out, my love. No matter what it is for.”

She nodded and kissed him once more, gently and slowly, before she moved and let him finally slip out of her, sighing at the loss of contact. She nestled at his side and lay her head over his chest and closed her eyes, while he conjured a blanket over the both of them and kept holding her in his arms.

When Emily woke up, the bedroom was dark and she was alone in bed. She reached for the bedside lamp and turned it on. Her body was aching, more of exhaustion than anything, and she let her head drop back onto the pillow as she saw the clock showing it was 8:30 in the evening.

She pushed the blanket off and sat up. Her clothes were neatly folded on her desk chair and for some reason, it made her smile.

She got up, but had to stop and lean against the bed as her legs started trembling. She figured it was because of their lovemaking and it made her giggle to herself. She slowly made her way to the bathroom and took a quick shower before she put some comfortable clothes on and went to see what Loki was doing.

Once she opened the door of her bedroom, a delicious smell attacked her nose and she inhaled deeply, letting out a satisfied sigh. She heard the sound of water running and dishes clinking against each other or a surface, so she made her way too the kitchen.

She leaned against the door frame as she watched Loki washing dishes and having a look inside the pot he had over the stove, then going back to the sink. He only had his pants on and was wearing an apron. The view made her heart flutter and she sighed. If she was a cartoon character, her eyes would have been drawn as hearts right now.

Loki heard her sighing and turned around. Suddenly he had a concerned look on his face and quickly turned the running water off and dried his hands before he quickly approached her. “Love, you shouldn’t be out of bed. Come, you need to rest.” He wrapped an arm around her waist and Emily leaned against him, but didn’t move otherwise.

“Sweetheart, as adorable as your concern is, I’m not sick. I don’t have to stay in bed.” She mumbled against his chest.

“You’ve been vomiting almost everything you ate today, and I have a feeling you haven’t eaten.” He held her tight. “That would make you weak and I will not let you out of bed unless I’m sure you’re well fed and your strength back.”

“I believe my strength hadn’t even left? You know, since we...” She tip toed to kiss his neck while she gently ran her hand over his groin, making him let out a soft groan.

“That would mean you have used up all of your energy and you need recharging.” He spoke in a deep voice, trying his best to not get hard again. He knew it was a fight he would never win, so he simply took her hand and brought it to his lips. “I would want nothing more than to make love to you all night long, and then every day for the rest of our lives.” He spoke softly, kissing her palm. “But I would want you to rest first.”

Emily nodded. “How about resting on the couch? Is that acceptable, my beloved prince?”

“Most definitely. Dinner will be ready in a few minutes.” He smiled and picked her up to carry her over to the living room. He gently brought her down to the couch and kissed her forehead. “How about you choose a movie for us to watch while I finish up preparing dinner?”

“Any specific one in mind?”

“Anything you choose is acceptable.”

He gently kissed her lips before getting up and going back to the kitchen. Emily pulled her legs up on the couch and grabbed the remote to start looking for a movie to watch.

She smiled absentmindedly while scrolling through the titles. Maybe this time things would go differently. As difficult as it was, maybe she could allow herself to hope that this time, she’d actually get to meet the little person that had decided to grow inside of her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I somehow can't believe I wrote a full chapter of only smut haha.
> 
> I hope I didn't dissapoint!


	53. Chapter 53

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in updating! Preparing for exams and I hate it. But priorities need to be made.
> 
> Chapter warning: smut.

Before the day had started for the masses, Loki was up and already in the kitchen. Dressed again in nothing but sweatpants and an apron, he was preparing breakfast. Outside the sky was just starting to show signs of the sun coming up. He filled up a pan with water and carefully placed a few eggs in and put the pan over the stove. He turned on the coffee machine to warm up, while he conjured a bed tray and put a couple of plates and utensils on top.

Emily was still asleep and he didn’t want to wake her up yet, but he had planned to have breakfast ready by the time she did. While waiting for the coffee to brew, he realized someone needed to take Hugo out for his morning walk. Looking at the eggs on the stove and then towards the door, Loki contemplated whether he should quickly go do that. Though he realized walking Hugo meant he needed at least an hour. Emily should be waking up anytime soon and he didn’t want to leave her for that long. Not yet, anyway.

He sighed at the realization that he hadn’t brought his phone along, so he went back to the bedroom and tip-toed his way in, as to not wake Emily up. He carefully picked her phone off the nightstand and sent a quick message to Pepper.

_“Good morning, Pepper. Loki here. Forgot my phone. Hugo needs a walk & I need to stay here. Could you arrange that? Thanks! Also, all is good here.”_

After hitting send, he put the phone back on the nightstand and as he turned to leave, Emily turned around and sighed. He looked at her, a loving smile forming on his face. He carefully pulled the blanket from her waist to cover up to her shoulders, which made her curl up underneath before she slowly opened her eyes and looked at him.

“Good morning.” She said and pulled the cover over her face as she yawned, then brought it back down.

“Good morning, dearest. I did not mean to wake you.” He spoke softly, the smile not leaving him. He sat down at her side and leaned down to place a gentle kiss over her temple. “How did you sleep?”

“Like a bear in hibernation.” Her eyes were closed again, but she was smiling.

“I assume that is good?” He grinned when she nodded and he gently stroked her hair. “Good. Do you want to go back to sleep?”

“It’s tempting, but I need to get ready for work.”

Upon saying that, her eyes shot open and she sat up straight, all sleep gone from her head. “Shit. I don’t know what shift I have! Shitshitshit!” She quickly reached for her phone and opened the calendar. 

In the middle of her frenzy, Loki took the phone from her and opened the messages again. She tried to take the phone back and he turned his back to her as he typed a message to Jess, telling her to inform people at work that Emily wasn’t feeling well enough to come to work and will not be available throughout the day, with a little side note that there’s nothing to worry about and he’s taking care of her.

“Loki, what are you doing?” She was practically climbing over his back to see what he was typing there.

He sent off the message, turned the phone off and put it on the night stand again. “You have today off.” He turned around and pulled her onto his lap and wrapped his arms around her. “You’ve had a few days of constant worry and vomiting. You deserve at least a day off to recover.”

“But...”

“No buts and no excuses. You are not to discuss work today.” He kissed the top of her frowning eyebrows. “Yes, you’ve had the weekend off, but you didn’t spend it relaxing. So, I have decided that you’re doing that today.”

She raised an eyebrow. “You do know a job doesn’t work that way, don’t you?”

“I do, I happen to have one of those, remember?” He grinned.

“I have taken so much time off in the past couple of months. I shouldn’t be doing that.” She leaned her head against his shoulder.

“What you shouldn’t be doing is concerning yourself with work, while there are literally no patients there.”

She sighed, he did have a point, though her conscience and work ethics still tried to convince her otherwise.

“Now, let’s get you settled in bed and I’ll bring you breakfast. It’s almost ready.”

“Breakfast in bed?” She sat up and looked at him, grinning. “Okay, that is definitely worth not going to work.”

“Lovely!” He helped her sit against the headrest and went of to the kitchen. A few minutes later he was back with the breakfast he had made. Coffee, toast, boiled eggs, butter, jam, cheese and olives. 

“This looks healthy and delicious!” She marvelled the food before she grabbed her cup of coffee and took a sip. “Mmh, I love it when you make coffee. It tastes better.” She smiled at him and he gently ran the back of his hand against her jawline.

“I’m happy to hear that, my love.” He smiled back. “I’m hoping your body will find the food acceptable.”

“Yep, me too.” She nodded and put her cup over the tray and started spreading some butter over a toast.

The morning went without a hitch. That is to say, Emily did not have to throw up her breakfast, which made her and Loki quite pleased. Especially Loki, since he was fussing all over her, making sure she was comfortable, kept asking her how she felt and what he could do to make her feel more comfortable. It was endearing really, being taken care of. Emily cherished it to no end, even though she kept telling him that she was not sick and she was feeling fine.

For Loki, however, it was not like he was taking care of her because she was sick. He knew she wasn’t. Though at the same time, he couldn’t help but worry. It was all new for him. While he knew more or less how Asgardian women went through pregnancies, a Midgardian one was still a mystery to him. A Midgardian with Jotun blood running through her, even more so. But more importantly, the love of his life was carrying _his_ child.

He figured once they were back at the tower, he could go to the library and see what books they had for him to read. He was going to educate himself to the best of his abilities on the matter. He smiled as he softly kissed the crook of her neck, right where the hickey from the previous night was shining dark pink in all its glory.

“This will turn darker in a day or two, I guess.” He spoke, softly running his fingertips over the bruised skin.

“It’s okay.” She smiled, taking his hand in hers and kissing it. She turned to look at him. “It will heal in a week or so. But until then, I’m glad it’s there.”

Loki smiled at her. They were still in bed, snuggled against each other. He gazed into her eyes that seemed to drown him further and further into the depths of blue and green. He wanted to wake up every day to those eyes. They were his salvation, his motivation, his reason to live. Just as the person they belonged to.

Loki was deeply and utterly in love. He still couldn’t believe it. He couldn’t fathom the fact that he, an Asgardian Frost Giant, was in a relationship with a Midgardian mortal. To top it all, she was carrying his child. _His child._ It was totally absurd. Never in his life would he have ever dreamed of this happening.

It was amazing and scary at the same time. Amazing because of the prospect of having a loving family. Scary because of the difference in their lifespans. Asgard was no more, nor was there a way for him to reach Vanaheim and thus, no way for him to find Idunn’s apples or any substitutes.

Within a split of second when that thought occurred to him, Loki’s eyes darkened. He hid his face into Emily’s neck to hide the worry that he could not conceal no matter how hard he tried. It seemed to have been working, for she didn’t say anything and simply let him hold her as he nuzzled the crook of her neck.

“Did you have any plans for today?” Emily asked, bringing a hand up and twirling a strand of Loki’s hair between her fingers, craning her neck to give him better access.

“Only to spend the whole day with you.” He kissed her neck and she smiled.

“Would you care for lunch? I feel hungry.”

Loki sat up and smiled. He cupped her cheek and gently kissed her lips. “I’ll prepare us some.”

He was about to get off the bed when Emily held his hand. “I can do it.”

Loki shook his head. “Maybe another day. Today you’ll have to endure my cooking abilities.” He grinned and wiggled his eyebrows at her before he hopped off the bed and went to the kitchen.

It had been a lazy start in the day, staying in bed all morning just holding one another. It was lovely and Emily was thankful Loki had taken care of her not going to work. She wouldn’t have wanted to work today anyway. She was feeling slightly nauseous, but it wasn’t severe enough to alert him of the fact. Sometimes she wondered why it’s called a morning sickness when it had absolutely no respect for the time of day. She was glad she didn’t have to vomit after breakfast. Her throat was definitely thanking her for it. Now if only the nausea would go away, life would be peachy.

She decided to join Loki in the kitchen. Maybe some movement would help ease the nausea, or even make it disappear. She put on her slippers and walked out of the room, not even bothering with the fact that she only had a t-shirt and underwear on. The luxury of having your own place. You could walk around in whatever, without having Pepper or Thor showing up out of nowhere.

Loki was cutting some salad while he had a couple of bread buns in the oven. Emily sat down at the kitchen island and watched him, fascinated by the lean chest muscles that flexed with every chop of the knife in his hand. Good thing the only apron she had was not wide enough to cover all of his chest.

She also wondered why he put an apron on while in the kitchen. He’d done it last night with dinner, this morning with breakfast and now with lunch. Maybe he liked it or maybe he was one of those few people who actually utilized kitchen items for what they were meant for. Unlike her, who had the apron for probably a few years now and aside from throwing it into the laundry every now and then, she never actually used it.

Loki smiled as she sat down and didn’t say anything. Had she done anything other than just sitting, he would have commented on it. He was keen on minimizing every amount of work she had to do, at least for today... and probably whenever he was around once they went back to the tower.

“Babe, while it looks amazing on you, why are you wearing an apron?” Emily couldn’t keep her curiosity at bay.

“Is it not meant to be worn while cooking?” He looked at her for a moment before bringing his attention back to the bell pepper he was cutting now.

“It is, but hardly anyone does it.”

He put the knife down for a moment. “And you?”

“I never wear it.” She shrugged, grinning.

Loki’s brow arched up as his mouth fell slightly open. “Well, then...” he took the apron off and put it aside, “I felt ridiculous in it anyway.” He grinned and picked up the knife again to resume cutting.

“A much better view.” Emily sighed and leaned forward, propping her elbows over the island and resting her face between her palms while she kept watching Loki prepare their lunch.

He chuckled at the way she ogled him and he _loved_ it. He made sure to move slowly, calculating every chopping movement so his muscles would flex visibly. He wasn’t as muscled as Thor, nor was he as buffed as Bucky, but he had a good muscle mass for his body shape. And in Emily’s opinion, he knew _exactly_ how to use it.

As he finished preparing lunch, he set up the table and refused every kind of help Emily had offered. She was to simply “sit down and look pretty”; a comment that made her drop her head back and laugh. Oh how he enjoyed her laughter. It was like music to his ears. So magical, the Light Elves would be jealous.

After bringing the food he had prepared, he sat down next to her and they started eating. Loki was keeping a watchful eye on Emily, making sure to catch on the very moment she wouldn’t feel well. She noticed his gaze on her and turned to look at him as she grabbed a piece of bread.

“You don’t have to worry, you know?” She smiled as she cut a small piece of bread and put it in her mouth.

“I cannot help it. I do not wish you to throw up again.” He ran is hand through her hair and gave her a soft smile.

“That’s going to be a few months of constant worrying then.” She chuckled, then her mood dropped suddenly. “I only know how it feels the first 5 to 6 months... because... you know...” she shrugged and put the bread in her plate.

Loki leaned over and planted a soft kiss over her temple. “Come what may, we will experience the following months together. If I need to hold your hair and rub your back every day for the next nine months, I will gladly do it. For as long as you need me to, I will be at your side.” He turned to the side so he was facing her, and she did the same. “I will stand behind you, to protect you. And I will stand in front of you, paving the way for you to move forward. _You_ are my priority, Emily. When the little one,” he placed a hand over her flat abdomen, “decides to join us, it will make me the happiest man in the Nine Realms. If it decides to join Celeste, I will have consolation by the fact that it will be joining a loving sibling in a world beyond ours.”

Emily’s eyes were wet again and she couldn’t help but smile and pull him into a kiss. “I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve you. You’re amazing, Loki,” She looked into his eyes, “and I love you.”

“And I, you.” He smiled and kissed her again. “Now eat, you need the nutrients.”

The worry was weighing heavily on Emily’s shoulders. While she now believed that Loki wouldn’t leave her, it still didn’t mean that the pregnancy would go without a hitch. She _hoped_ that the outcome would be different than the last time, but she couldn’t be sure and that thought was quite terrifying.

After they were done eating, Loki cleaned the table and the dishes using magic. He then joined Emily in the living room, lounging on the couch. He pulled her close, so she was between his legs and leaning against his chest and wrapped his arms around her, while she flipped through the TV channels.

“Lunch was delicious, by the way. Thank you.” She told him. She turned her face to him and stole a quick kiss before turning her attention back to the TV.

“You are most welcome, dearest.” He nuzzled the back of her neck, inhaling her scent as she concentrated on finding something to fill up the silence in the room. Not that the silence was awkward, but simply because she felt like it.

“There’s nothing on TV.” She mumbled. “Ah, the music channel. That’s good enough.” She set the volume low enough to serve as a subtle background noise. She didn’t recognize the singer that was pouring their heart out in a ballad, but the song itself wasn’t really bad. She leaned forward and put the remote on the coffee table and then nestled back onto Loki’s chest.

“Is this comfortable for you?” Loki asked as he gently ran a hand over her arm.

“Very.”

“Good.”

The one song finished and another started. It seemed to be a ballad hour on the music channel or something. Not that either of them minded it. It made for a cosy afternoon. Emily sighed as she felt Loki’s warm breath on her neck, then the tender brush of his lips. A hand made its way from her waist to cup her breast. His thumb idly drawing circles over the thin fabric separating it from her nipple, which quickly perked up in attention. Emily’s breath was becoming shallow as she closed her eyes and dropped her head back against him, baring her neck for him to do as he pleased.

Loki’s lips moved over her neck, kissing his way to her shoulder and back. Emily couldn’t suppress a soft moan which escaped her lips. Her body craved his touch, but she didn’t dare move for fear of breaking the magical moment of the kisses she was getting over her neck and shoulder; and the hand that was pleasuring her breast.

She grabbed his other hand and brought it when she wanted to be touched most. She could feel herself already being wet the moment Loki started kissing her neck. Both of them sighed loudly as she guided his hand inside her panty and his fingers touched her clit. Emily kept her hand over his, while he moved his fingers over her clit, gently rubbing it in circles. She reached with her other hand backwards and grabbed a fistful of hair at the back of his head.

Loki breathed hard against her skin, moving his hand further down her folds and coating his fingers with her juices before he slipped two of them inside of her. Emily moaned and rolled her hips as she spread her legs a bit further apart.

The only sounds in the room were those of their breaths, Emily’s soft moans and the ballad playing on the TV screen.

“I love feeling you like this, my love.” Loki whispered in her ear before he took her earlobe between his lips. A shiver ran through Emily’s body at the sound of his voice, so husky and deep, full of need and lust. “So wet and welcoming, I can hardly contain myself.”

“Then don’t.” She whispered, her breath catching in her throat as he curled his fingers inside of her.

He removed his hand from her and Emily opened her eyes, but before she could protest, she found herself laying in her bed, with Loki hovering above her and smiling.

“Neat.” She grinned and cupped his cheeks, pulling him down for a kiss. “You know what would be even better?” 

“I might have an idea.” He grinned into the kiss as their clothes shimmered out of existence.

“Perfect.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him on top of her, taking advantage of the skin-on-skin contact.

His hands were on the bed, keeping his full weight off of her, but maintaining enough body contact to feel her body against his. 

“Hand back where it was, please.” She whispered and licked a trail along his jawline. Loki let out a groan as he felt heat rushing down his whole body, concentrating itself around his hips.

He moved a hand down and slipped two fingers inside her again, circling her clit with his thumb. Emily’s loud moan rang like church bells within him. The only way to stop himself from moaning as loud was to capture her lips with his own, tongues dancing against and with each other.

Emily moved her hand to his cock, wrapping her fingers around it and started stroking it as slowly as he was thrusting his fingers inside of her. Loki buried his face into her neck, sucking the sensitive skin while he started moving his hips in sync with her hand.

She could feel his warm breath against her skin and she arched her back as he curled his fingers inside of her, eliciting a heavenly sound from her at the same time. “Oh God... that’s the spot...” 

He took that as an invitation to do it again, which earned him the same reaction.

His lips moved over her neck and down to her chest. He took a perked nipple and sucked on it, hard, making Emily moan even louder. He gave the other nipple a similar treatment and he could barely keep himself from spilling his cum in her hand from the way she reacted.

Whenever he sped up his thrusts, she met the speed with her strokes. When he slowed down, she slowed down as well. It was driving Loki up the walls in ecstasy. 

He finally removed his hand and she let go of him as well. He sat up and raised her legs, putting them over his shoulders as he positioned himself against her entrance. They kept their eyes locked as he leaned forward and with one swift move, he was buried inside of her.

Emily closed her eyes and dropped her head into the pillows as he started moving his hips. He braced himself with both hands on the mattress and thrust hard into her. Each thrust was met with fireworks of sensations for both of them.

“You feel so good.” His voice was almost a whisper. “So warm and tight around me.” He leaned further down and captured her lips in an almost desperate, open mouthed kiss. “So wet, I can hardly keep myself from spilling myself inside of you.”

“Do it.” Emily replied, wrapping an arm around his neck while she started touching herself with the other. “I’m close too... God, Loki you feel so good...”

A couple more thrusts and Loki could feel Emily’s muscles tighten around him, which sent him over the edge. Orgasm washed over the both of them in a toe-curling tornado of sensations. They were both heaving as Loki slowly lowered Emily’s legs and pulled out of her. He dropped at her side and pulled her into his arms and kissed her slowly, lazily, savouring the taste of her lips like it was the first and last time he could do so.

“Are we going to spend the day having sex?” Emily looked at him, running he fingers over his lips.

“I sure wouldn’t mind it.” He smiled.

“You’re insatiable.” She giggled.

“I’m merely in love with you, Emily Green.”

“What a coincidence, Loki Odinson, the feeling is mutual.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments, kudo's, everything is much appreciated!
> 
> If you use Tumblr, come say hi. I'm Kaogasm there too.


	54. Chapter 54

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for the wonderful comments on the previous chapter!
> 
> Here's the next one and it's loooong lol I couldn't finish it at my usual word count and it ended up being almost 6k haha
> 
> Anyway, enjoy!

After spending a whole day completely isolated from the outside world, Loki and Emily had finally decided to go back to the tower in the evening.

Loki had offered to translocate them, including Emily’s car, but she insisted on driving. Loki was apprehensive about it at first. In fact, he was quite fussy through the whole drive. He kept a sharp eye over anything and everything around them, to the point of moving cars out of their way whenever any of those got a bit too close for his liking. He paid an especially crafted attention to one that was up their trunk while they were waiting under a red light. Emily noticed a green glow around his fingertips, while his eyes were focused on the rear-view mirror. 

Once the light turned green and Emily stepped on the gas pedal, she noticed through the mirror that the car behind them hadn’t moved and she gasped at what she saw, followed by hysterical laughter.

“OMG LOKI!!!” She hit the steering wheel with her hand as she laughed. “I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU DID THAT!” There were practically tears in her eyes as she continued laughing.

“They should have kept their distance.” He smirked, folding his arms over his chest, proud of his achievement.

“By turning their wheels into COTTON CANDY???” Emily could not stop laughing, to the point that she had to pull over just to be able to laugh without risking an accident.

She leaned forward over the steering wheel as she wheezed in laughter. The car that had been behind them was about to start moving the moment the light turned green, but instead, it sank onto the ground and a cloud of cotton candy suddenly sprouted outwards where the tires should have been.

“Best.prank.EVER!!!”

At this point Loki was grinning as he watched the love of his life full of laugher. He felt very pleased with himself for managing to draw it out of her without even trying. After a few days of wallowing in self-doubt and worry, he finally had her laughing and by Odin’s beard it was _majestic_!

“I used to do quite a lot of it in the past.” He said, grinning widely. He reached over and wiped the tears off her face. “I should do it more often, if this will be your reaction every time.”

“I didn’t realize how much I needed this.” She said as her laughter subsided a bit. She grinned and looked at him. “Thank you.”

“You’re most welcome, my love.” He stroked her cheek and she leaned closer to kiss him.

“Just make sure no one gets hurt if you decide to prank people.” She kissed him again.

“It’s always been harmless, though if you ask Thor, he’d tell you some horror stories.” He chuckled.

“Oh really?” She grinned and pulled the car back onto the road. “Do tell!”

“I don’t think it’s wise to do so while you’re driving.” 

She looked at him from the corner of her eye, while keeping her attention on the road ahead. Loki had a fond smile on his face and it warmed her heart up. She wondered how a horror story, as he put it, would elicit such a warm smile.

“I’d love to know more of your past. I want to know what kind of a horror story puts such a beautiful smile on your face.” She quickly looked at him with a smile and then turner her gaze back ahead. “God of Mischief, indeed.”

Loki chuckled, completely ignoring the fact that she wanted to learn about his past, which... he didn’t know how to bring up. So, he focused on the part of it they were discussing at the moment. “Well, the safe and short version is that it always ended up bad for Thor.”

“Should I feel sorry for him?”

“I wasn’t.”

“Then I won’t either.” She grinned and so did Loki.

The rest of the way he kept a hand over her thigh, while at the same time his attention was on what was happening around the car. There was no more need for cotton candy tires, but a few cars found themselves suddenly slowing down or being nudged out of the way for no reason.

“You know what you’re doing is technically illegal.” Emily noted.

“You have laws for seiðr use in traffic?” Loki raised an impressed eyebrow.

Emily chuckled. “No, but one is not supposed to interfere with traffic.”

“Good thing we’re not, then.” He gave her a sheepish grin, making her shake her head. Technically, they were driving properly. It was the other cars that broke the law by slowing down traffic or obstructing it. 

They finally arrived at the tower and Emily parked her car in the underground garage. Once they got into the elevator, Loki wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her close. She leaned her head against his shoulder as they watched the floor numbers escalating.

“Sooo, would you want to tell them or should we wait?” She asked, absentmindedly running a finger over his chest.

“I want to get on the roof and shout it to the whole world to hear.” He kissed her temple and smiled. “What are the Midgardian customs in that regard?”

“Well,” she wrapped her arms around his waist, “there are no customs as such. But usually, the couple keep it a secret for a month or two, since there’s always a chance of an early miscarriage. Some even keep it up for the whole first trimester. A lot of people don’t do that and announce it almost immediately, but mainly to the immediate family.”

“Hmm,” he nodded, “and what would you prefer?”

“I’m not sure, to be honest.” He could feel her arms tighten around him. “On the one hand I want to at least tell Pepper and Thor, but at the same time I’m scared.”

“Of what may or may not happen.”

She nodded.

“We don’t have to rush, my darling.” He squeezed her shoulder as he stroked her hair with his other hand. “While I would be on pins and needles to tell them, I want this to be on your terms.” He turned so he was facing her and leaned down so they were on eye level. “You are the goddess of the temple that is housing our child. You get to decide when we would share our joy with the rest of our family and I will be right there with you every step of the way. In this regard, you lead and I will follow.”

“Damn it, Loki, why are you so amazing?” She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him with fervour.

The elevator stopped and doors opened, but they didn’t pay it much attention and continued kissing.

“Ewww!!!”

They abruptly broke the kiss and turned to the source of the displeased exclamation. They instantly broke unto laughter as they saw Morgan standing in front of the elevator, covering her eyes.

“There’s nothing more wonderful than kissing the one you love, my Iron Maiden!” Loki said as he picked Morgan up and showered her face with kisses after he and Emily walked out of the elevator.

“It tickles!” Morgan giggled and tried to push Loki’s face away.

“Good!” He said with a wide grin and continued kissing her cheeks. “I missed you, little one!”

“I missed you, too, Loki!” She wrapped her little arms around his neck and he walked further into the living room.

“You’re back!” Pepper came out of the kitchen, holding a bowl of salad. “Just in time for dinner!”

“Late dinner?” Emily knelt on the floor as Hugo came running to her. “Hello, my boy!” She ruffled his fur and hugged him tight.

“Yeah, got held up on a phone call with Japan. Go change, or don’t change, whatever, but dinner is being served. Thor will be joining us soon.”

“I’ll help.” Emily said and was about to go to the kitchen when Loki called for her.

“Love, why don’t you rest? I’ll help Pepper.” He put Morgan down and walked over to Emily.

“I want to do it, you go keep your Iron Maiden occupied.” She cupped his cheek and gave him a soft kiss on the lips. 

“You okay, Em?” Pepper asked as she passed them with a stack of plates in her hands. Loki took them from her and set them on the table.

“I’m fine. Loki’s been fussing all over me because of my upset stomach from the past couple of days.”

“So it’s a stomach bug?” Pepper had a feeling there was more to that, but she wasn’t one to push for information unless it was essential. She knew Emily would tell her what’s been going on when she was ready, so Pepper simply played along.

“Something like that, yeah.” Emily nodded, giving Loki a pointed look when she saw him about to protest the ‘stomach bug’ part of the conversation. She will need to explain the expression to him.

No one was allowed to call his child a bug! Not even family! At Emily’s look, he sank his shoulders and sighed, keeping his protest to himself. “You should still go sit down, love.” He said instead.

“You could keep your boy company. He’s been missing you all day, you know.” Pepper smiled and turned to Loki. She winked at him and went into the kitchen.

“Pepper does have a point. Hugo hasn’t seen you all day.” He grinned and went to stand behind her. He grabbed her shoulders and turned her around in the direction of the living room and gently pushed her forward. “Off you go.”

“You two are horrible!” Emily grumbled, though not without smiling, as she went into the living room and sat down on the floor. Immediately, Hugo came to her and lay at her side. He sniffed her first and then nuzzled her stomach. Emily stroked his head and smiled when Hugo let out a little whimper and started wagging his tail as he put his head over her thigh. “Smart boy.” Emily whispered.

“Hugo is very smart.” Morgan came to join them on the floor, bringing her story book along.

“He sure is.” Emily smiled at Morgan. “What have you got there?”

“My book.” Morgan turned it around to show Emily the cover.

“Fairy tales! My favorite!”

“I want to read it, but I don’t know all the letters yet.” Morgan pouted.

“I can read it for you.”

As Morgan handed Emily the book, she came to sit between Emily’s crossed legs. Hugo adjusted his position because of the intrusion, so now Morgan had her arm over his head and was carefully playing with his fur while Emily started reading her the story of Snow White and the seven dwarves.

As Loki helped Pepper set up the table, he couldn’t help but stop and watch how Emily read for Morgan. He could already see her in the same position, reading a book to their own child at some point in the future. He didn’t realize there was a warm smile tugging at his lips, until Pepper came to stand before him and smiling back at him.

“You look happy.” She said, while putting glasses on the table.

Loki chuckled and looked down to his feet, feeling his cheeks get warm. He was caught off guard, it seemed. “I feel happy.” He mumbled and looked back at Pepper.

“So things are good between you two again?”

He nodded, still smiling. “Better than good.”

“I like hearing that.” She gave him a look that told him she knew more than she let on, but before he could say anything, she was back to the kitchen.

Loki went over to Emily and crouched next to her, placing a hand over her back. “The table is set.”

Emily smiled at him and closed the book. “How about we continue this after dinner?” She asked Morgan, who nodded and got off Emily’s lap.

Loki helped Emily up and Hugo went to sit in his corner of the living room. As they were about to sit down, the elevator doors opened and Thor walked in.

“Greetings, everyone.” He took off his hoodie as he walked in and hung it over the coat rack.

“Hey, Thor. You’re just in time. Dinner is ready.” Pepper came out of the kitchen carrying the chicken bacon ranch casserole she had made. She had been experimenting with various recipes as of late, and she had found that she actually liked cooking.

She set the casserole in the middle of the dining table and sat down at the head of the table, while Thor sat to one side next to Morgan and on the other side Emily and Loki took seats next to each other.

Soon they were all eating, Pepper helping Morgan with her food every now and then. They talked about various topics, mostly harmless things, since Morgan was sitting with them at the table. Emily told them how Loki had turned the tires of a car into cotton candy, making Morgan flail excitedly at the thought of it.

“Can you turn my toys into candy?” She asked enthusiastically.

“Of course, but why would you want your toys turned to candy, little one?” Loki smiled.

“Then I would have more candy!” She grinned at him. The idea of a room full of candy was just _so_ appealing! She couldn’t hide her giddiness about it.

Loki laughed at that. “I must disappoint you there, little one, those candies would not be edible.” He shrugged as he gave her an apologetic look.

“Oh...” Morgan’s shoulders slumped. That was unfortunate. She really wanted a room full of candy.

It broke Loki’s heart seeing her tiny brows frown at his comment. He looked at Emily with a pout on his lips and then back to Morgan. “You know, we might be able to think of an alternative. I’ll let you know once I have an idea. How does that sound?”

“Okay...” She was really bummed, it seemed. She wasn’t smiling anymore and simply toyed with her food instead.

“Morgan, honey, you know candy is bad for your teeth, right?” Pepper said, running a hand through Morgan’s hair.

The girl nodded and put some food into her mouth. “I really wanted a candy room.”

“How about you finish your food and we’ll see about having some chocolate for dessert?” Pepper smiled at her.

Upon hearing the word chocolate, Morgan sat up and looked at her mom. “Chocolate ice cream?” Pepper nodded, which was all the motivation Morgan needed to start smiling again and she started eating.

“I’m so sorry.” Loki whispered to Pepper, who simply shook her head and waved a hand.

“This happens more than you think. It’s normal.” She smiled at him.

He turned to Emily, who was taking a bite of her food, but she nodded, confirming what Pepper said.

“Emily, you look pale. Are you not feeling well?” Thor asked, putting his fork down.

Loki looked at Emily again and indeed, she looked a bit pale. How could he have missed it? In the moment of letting his guard down he did not see the colour had left her face! He put his fork down as well and turned to completely face her. “Darling?”

Emily looked at the both of them as she swallowed her food. She had been feeling a bit nauseous throughout the day, after all, but otherwise she felt good and did not consider it would show on her face.

“I’m good. Must be whatever was happening the past few days.” She shrugged and took another bite.

For some reason, the mention of looking pale worked like a switch for her stomach. She had barely started chewing and felt her stomach turning on her. She abruptly dropped her fork and covered her mouth, pushed her chair back and dashed towards the bathroom.

Loki was instantly on his feet and he ran after her. So did Hugo. She hadn’t even made it to the toilet when all the food came out of her. Loki carefully stepped around the bile on the floor in time to kneel next to Emily, who was hugging the toilet seat and emptying her guts into it. He held her hair back with one hand and with the other he massaged her forehead. Hugo stood in high alert mode at the door of the bathroom, watching his human feeling not so well. But his other human was with her, so he knew she was in good hands. He would be there for them anyway.

Loki’s cool touch felt soothing against her forehead, despite the fire that was burning her throat all the way down to her stomach. She couldn’t stop the tears from flowing down her cheeks as she continued throwing up like it was the apocalypse.

Thor was about to get up as well, but Pepper held her hand up. “Thor, they’re okay. Let Loki handle it.”

“Mommy, is Emily sick?” Morgan asked, obviously alarmed by the sudden occurrence.

Anything Pepper would say might be giving out what she thought was the case. With Thor being there and not knowing whether Loki and Emily had anything to announce, she wasn’t sure what to tell her daughter. Emily had the exact same symptoms 7 years ago. Pepper was wondering whether her cousin was pregnant again, thought she figured it was unlikely, since she knew Emily was on the pill. But there was that 1% chance of the pill not doing what it was supposed to do and Pepper was wondering whether that was the case now.

“I don’t know, honey. I think she must have had too much candy today.” Pepper decided to say. It was the safest option for the time being. “You continue eating. They will be back soon.” She smiled at her daughter, who nodded and resumed eating.

“She has not been feeling well for a few days.” Thor said with darkness in his eyes.

“It’s just a stomach bug.” Pepper said.

“There’s an insect in Emily’s stomach?” He abruptly stood up, startling Morgan in the process.

“Mommy, does Emily have a bug in her stomach?!” She had dropped her fork and was staring at her mother with her eyes wide open in fear.

Thor was already heading to the bathroom. Ignoring Pepper’s call for him to come back, while she tried to explain to her 5 year old daughter that Emily did _not_ have a bug in her stomach.

Upon hearing his brother’s heavy footsteps approaching, Loki waved a hand and made the bathroom door close and lock. No one wanted to be watched when they were emptying your guts out and especially not Emily.

Thor stood there staring at the door that slammed shut at his face. His hands curled into fists at his side to keep himself from knocking it down. “Loki! Pepper said Emily has an insect in her stomach! Tell me how I can help!”

Loki rolled his eyes at that. There was the stomach bug thing again. His child was _NOT_ an insect! He clenched his jaws while focusing on keeping his hands gentle over Emily, who was heaving against the toilet seat. “Thor, everything is fine. Go continue your dinner.” He replied, loud enough for Thor to hear him through the closed door.

“It means stomach flu.” Emily said, clearing her throat and trying hard to catch her breath.

“It means stomach flu!” Loki repeated for Thor to hear, though he had no idea how a stomach can catch the flu. Wasn’t the flu a Midgardian upper respiratory illness? What does the stomach have to do with it?

It seemed that Thor was thinking along the same lines as Loki. How could a stomach catch the flu? Was the insect inside her causing it? He folded his arms and stood there, next to Hugo, waiting for his brother and his girlfriend to come out.

Pepper had stopped eating and was patiently waiting for Morgan to finish her food. She had explained to her daughter what a stomach bug means, which had nothing to do with actual bugs. But it didn’t seem to have any effect on Morgan, who was now refusing to eat anymore.

Sighing, Pepper got up and took Morgan to the bathroom in her room to wash up. Upon asking her if she wanted dessert, she was surprised to hear that Morgan did not want to eat anything anymore. On the one hand it was good, which meant less sugar before bed, but on the other hand, she hoped by breakfast Morgan would forget about this whole bug conversation. She wasn’t looking forward to have to force her daughter to eat.

She helped Morgan into her pyjamas and allowed her to play a bit before getting into bed. She would come later to tuck her in.

Closing the door behind her, she walked over to where Thor and Hugo were standing and she shook her head.

“Thor, living room. _Now_.” She commanded.

“But...” He pointed at the bathroom door.

Pepper simply pointed in the direction of the living room and gave him a glare that made even Nick Fury succumb to her orders -or threats disguised as warnings- in the past.

Thor hung his head low and did as he was told. Pepper followed him, leaving Hugo behind, because the dog would not leave Emily’s side when she wasn’t feeling well.

“You’re surprisingly calm.” Thor said as he slumped on the couch.

“I have no reason to worry. Loki is in there with her.” She sat down next to him.

“Loki said it’s a stomach flu. How can the stomach catch the flu?”

“Oh God...” Pepper sighed and barely kept herself from laughing. She smiled instead and gave Thor’s arm a pat. “Thor, a stomach bug is just an expression. A stomach flu... you know what, I’ll let Emily explain it to you, because I feel whatever I say now you’ll take it the wrong way.”

“I’m merely concerned for her, Pepper. This ailment that seems to have befallen her sounds serious.”

“I’m sure she’ll be fine, Thor.”

Emily felt nothing like fine. Her insides felt like an Apple store opening its doors on a Black Friday. Every fiber in her being was turning against her as she continued vomiting until there was nothing but clear liquid coming out of her mouth and nose. The moment she thought it had stopped, it came right back up, shaking her whole body into oblivion.

Loki was growing concerned as he kept massaging her forehead. He didn’t move otherwise, nor did he say anything other than apologizing for causing her all of this. It wasn’t that he was sorry about the pregnancy itself. Absolutely not! He was thrilled about it! But he was sorry for the current state it was leaving his beloved.

At some point Emily had finally stopped vomiting. She dropped to sit on the floor and Loki pulled her into his arms, having her lean against him while her body shook violently and she tried to catch her breath. She was sweating profusely. Her face was covered with sweat, tears and bile. Loki summoned a towel and started to wipe her face in gentle strokes. He kept holding her as they both sat on the floor, waiting for her to recover a bit.

“I’m so sorry.” He whispered as he wiped her mouth, his hand trembling slightly. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s normal.” She whispered back and tried clearing her throat and grimaced at how dry it was. “It’s not your fault.” She patted his thigh. “I’m sorry you have to see me like this.”

“Nonsense.” He kissed the top of her head. “I will do all within my power and beyond to take care of you, my love. I only apologize for not being to heal you from this, because the seiðr does not consider it an ailment.”

“Technically it isn’t. It’s simply my body’s reaction to increased hormone levels.” She managed to smile and tried to sit up straight, though she was still shaking.

“Do you want to get up? Or would you rather wait a little while?”

“No, no. I’d like to get up. I’d like some tea. My throat is killing me.” She grimaced again as she tried clearing her throat once more.

“It seemed that this time it was worse than before.” Loki said as he helped her up, holding her with strong arms as she clung to him.

“Been feeling nauseous the whole day. Could be that.” She pointed to the sink and he walked her in that direction.

“Why didn’t you tell me, love?” He kept his hands around her waist as she started washing her face and mouth.

“Didn’t want to worry you.” She smiled and reached for the towel.

“I’d like to be informed next time.” He took the towel from her when she was finished. “Even the smallest discomfort, I’d like you to tell me about it. No matter how insignificant you may think it is.” He looked at her and smiled. “Could you do that, my love?”

Emily sighed and nodded, smiling. “Then maybe you can help stop my body from shaking?”

He pulled her closer and closed his eyes as he gently kissed her forehead. Emily felt a wave of warmth descend over her and spread through her body. She felt like she was being wrapped in a warm blanket of Loki’s magic. It was definitely helping. Her body stopped shaking within seconds.

“Better?”

“Much better.” She sighed and wrapped her arms around him. “Thank you.”

“It’s my pleasure.”

Her eyes fell on the dirty mess on the floor and she made a face. “Shit, I should clean that before we get out.”

Loki waved his hand and the bathroom was instantly cleaned, even the toilet that was being used an abused moments ago looked fresh out of a catalogue.

“I could have done it, you know.” She nuzzled his chest. “But thank you.”

“You’re welcome. It’s faster this way.” He smiled. “Now let’s go get you that tea.”

He kept an arm around her as they walked out, though as soon as he opened the door, Hugo came forward and nuzzled at Emily’s stomach and then stood up on his back paws. He placed his front paws over her shoulders and started licking her face.

“Oh I’m sorry, my boy.” She wrapped her arms around him and ruffled his fur. “I’m so sorry to worry you. I’m fine. I promise you I’m fine.”

Loki smiled at the concern the canine had shown for his beloved. He stroked Hugo’s head before Emily let go of him and prompted him to go to his bed in the living room.

“He knows, doesn’t he?” Loki asked with a smile, keeping his voice low.

“They can sense the change, so yeah.” Emily smiled back.

They went back to the living room and found a brooding Thor on an armchair, while Pepper was cleaning the table.

Thor stood up immediately when he saw them. “Emily, how are you feeling?” He went to her other side and put his hand over her back, as if assisting her to walk alongside Loki.

“I’m fine, Thor.” She smiled.

They walked her to the couch and she sat down. Loki excused himself to go make her some tea and Thor went to sit on the armchair he was occupying earlier.

“All better?” Pepper came to join them and she took a seat on another armchair.

“My stomach is completely empty.” Emily chuckled. “It didn’t even keep anything back for a rainy day.”

Pepper chuckled at that. Trust her cousin to find the humor in the situation she was in. “Well, then, you’ll just have to stock up.”

“Loki’s getting me tea.”

“And here it is.” Loki came back and handed her the mug, then he sat down next to her.

“Thank you.” Emily mumbled before she blew on the hot liquid and took a sip. “Delicious.”

Loki smiled and put his arm around her shoulder and she snuggled against him.

“So if your stomach is empty, does that mean you got rid of the insect?” Thor was hopeful now and Pepper facepalmed with a sigh.

Loki’s body tensed as the word insect left his brother’s mouth. It did not go unnoticed by Emily and she subtly placed her palm over his thigh.

“Em, could you explain to him that a stomach flu has nothing to do with bugs and insects? I thought it would be best if you do it, before he goes into panic mode.” Pepper looked at Thor pointedly. She had explained it to him as subtly as possible, but he still believed there was an insect invading Emily’s body.

“Well, a stomach flu is a viral infection of the inner walls of the stomach. It’s a nasty thing when one catches it, but not untreatable.”

“Hold on... viral?” Thor moved to the edge of his seat, becoming even more worried. “You have a virus inside of you?”

“Oh for the love of Odin.” Loki mumbled under his breath and put his forehead over Emily’s shoulder.

Emily chuckled. “No, Thor, I do not have a virus inside of me.” She took a sip of her tea and leaned her cheek against Loki’s head. “I think we should tell him before he moves on to thinking I have some parasite inside of me.”  
She whispered.

Loki sat up straight and looked at her. “Are you sure?”

She nodded.

“What about...”

“If anything goes wrong, you’re here and I’m among family.”

They were whispering amongst each other, and Thor could feel that Loki had apparently cast a sound proofing spell around the two of them, for he couldn’t hear what they were saying and he was getting anxious. Pepper was looking at them with a knowing smile on her face.

“Well then,” Loki smiled, “if you’re sure you want to do it. You lead, I follow.”

Emily nodded and took another sip of her tea before setting the mug on the table. She then looked at both Pepper and Thor. The smile on Pepper’s face already told her that she knew, but wanted to hear a confirmation. While she only had the stick as a confirmation, she still needed to get a proper confirmation from the doctor. But the signs and symptoms all pointed towards the fact that she could with confidence announce her pregnancy to her immediate family.

“Thor, Pepper, Loki and I have something to share with you.” She started and Pepper’s smile grew wider.

“What is it, Emily?” Thor looked from her to Loki and back. Why were they both smiling? Emily was sick and they didn’t seem to be bothered by it? Was she putting up a brave face? It was very noble of her, but she shouldn’t put her health at risk just for the sake of looking strong. He had learned that when you’re not feeling well, you need to make it known, so that someone would be able to help you.

But they were smiling, instead! Thor was confused.

Emily looked at Loki and he nodded. She held his hand as she turned to look at Thor. “You’re going to be an uncle.” She then looked at Pepper, her smile growing wider. “We’re pregnant.”

Thor slid off the couch and dropped on his knees to the floor. He stared in total shock at his brother as tears started filling his eyes. He opened and closed his mouth, trying to say something, but nothing came out. He ran his hand through his hair and smiled. “I’m...” he chuckled, still in shock and the tears started flowing down his cheeks. “I’m going to be an uncle.” He finally managed to say. He covered his mouth as he started laughing in disbelief.

“I think you broke him.” Loki mumbled into Emily’s ear and she giggled.

“I might have.”

“I knew it!” Pepper got up and rushed to pull Emily into a hug. “Oh my God, congratulations!” She pulled Loki into the hug as well. “I’m so happy for the both of you!”

“Thanks, Pep.” Emily laughed as she hugged her cousin back.

“Thank you, Pepper.” Loki replied as well.

“This requires a celebratory drink!” Pepper let go of them and went over to the bar and got three champagne glasses and a bottle and came back. “We’ll celebrate you, while you have your tea.” She grinned at Emily and handed the bottle to Loki so he would open it.

As Loki got busy with the bottle, Emily turned to Thor who was still looking at her and crying his heart out. She could see he was desperately trying to hold it back and failing. So, she got off the couch and went to kneel in front of him.

“All this puking is called morning sickness, which unfortunately can happen anytime through the whole day and not only in the mornings. It simply means my hormone levels are too high and my body is confused about it, so that it how it reacts to it.” She explained and put her hands over his shoulders. “So, to ease your worries, I do not have an insect or a bug or even a virus inside of me. It’s just your niece or nephew, uncle Thor.” Her smile went ear to ear as he pulled her into a bear hug.

“I’m going to be an uncle. Thank you, thank you, so much! You have no idea what this means to me.”

“I might have an idea, big guy.” She patted his back. “But you might also be close to suffocating me.”

“Apologies.” Thor chuckled and let go of her. He wiped his face and they both stood up. He pulled her into another hug and then kissed her forehead. “May Frigga’s soul guide you through the joy of motherhood. May Odin’s soul protect you from harm. May the Norns ward off any evil spirits that dare to look your way. I will be there with Mjolnir and Stormbreaker, protecting you and yours, which also happens to be mine.”

“Thank you, Thor. That was beautiful.”

“It was indeed a beautiful blessing.” Loki said, putting the bottle on the table after he had filled the three glasses. “Now if you wouldn’t mind, I’d like to have my lover back.” He grinned as Thor let go of Emily and pulled him into a hug instead.

“I’m so happy for you, brother! This is wonderful news!” He pulled away but kept his hands over Loki’s shoulders. “I’m sure mother and father are rejoicing in Valhalla.”

“I’m sure of it as well, brother.” Loki smiled.

Pepper handed each of them a glass of champagne and Emily grabbed her tea mug. Toasts were said and glasses were clunk against each other in happy celebration. Emily was feeling exhausted, but she was happy. Her fear was still there, but for the time being, she just buried it deep at the back of her mind and allowed herself to be happy, to live in that moment. She didn’t know what the future would bring, but one thing for sure: Loki will always be at her side and so will Pepper and Thor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had fun with the bug/insect bit lol  
> Oh and in the frenzy of celebration, Morgan is still playing in her room. Yay for staying up late? xD
> 
> Also, I've read somewhere about kisses on the forehead being an intimate gesture and that it's only done by the love interest. In my culture (Iraqi-Armenian), it's the utmost love and respect one can show their partner or family member (you don't do that with friends or others. No matter how close you are. Only family and significant others). So I decided to use that here, when Thor kissed Emily's forehead and gave her his blessing. Think of it like when an elder puts their hand over a person's head to bless them. Here, Thor sealed his blessing by kissing Emily's forehead.


	55. Chapter 55

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: smut.
> 
> Finally managed to write a chapter of this story! Sorry for the long wait!  
> Thank you everyone for the lovely comments on the previous chapter!
> 
> Holy shit I just noticed this story had passed the 10k hits! Thank you SO MUCH for giving this story a read! You have no idea how happy this made me. This was the story that had gotten me out of my 10-year-long writer's block, so it holds a special place in my heart. Thank you so much!

Emily did not know when the silk bedsheets of Loki’s bed had turned into the soft cottons ones she was currently tangled in, nor did she mind it either. She reached over to her side and found the spot cold and empty. Loki had been up for a while it seemed. Her eyes still closed, she turned to her side and pulled his pillow to her and hugged it as she tried to get a few more minutes of sleep.

She sighed as his scent hit her nostrils. Smiling and hugging the pillow even tighter and rubbing her face over it. Who would have thought she would ever get to where she was now? She was just a nurse, doing her job and taking care of an alien patient that was brought to her work place. Fast forward a few months and she was in love with said patient and carrying his child. If she had to do it all over again, she wouldn’t change a thing.

The mattress dipped at her back and she felt a hot breath on her neck, followed by the tender brush of lips. A hand ran through her hair as the kisses continued on towards her shoulder.

“I really want to turn around, but you know, morning breath and I am highly enjoying what you’re doing there.” She mumbled against the pillow she was hugging as she let out a content sigh.

“You know your morning breath does not bother me at all, but since you’re enjoying this...” Loki lay down behind her and pulled her back to his chest as he continued kissing her neck.

“If I’m dreaming, don’t wake me up.” She mumbled, bringing her hand to rest over Loki’s that was wrapped around her waist. She didn’t even feel morning sickness for the time being, possibly due to the fact that she had thoroughly emptied her stomach the night before and Loki had insisted they sleep in his room, since his bed was more spacious and comfortable.

“And what if you’re not dreaming?”

“Haven’t gotten that far yet.” She smiled into the pillow.

He continued his ministrations, kissing her shoulders and nuzzling her neck. Loki enjoyed waking her up this way and it was evident by the bulge forming in his pants. Emily could feel it as well, since his hips were against her own. She slowly moved her hips, rubbing her butt against his growing erection, which caused Loki to growl against her neck and lightly bite the skin there, causing a shiver to run down her spine.

Emily took Loki’s hand that was around her waist and brought it down. A soft moan escaped her lips when she placed his hand between her thighs, with the only layer separating his skin from hers being her panties.

Loki pressed himself further against her back and started rubbing her pussy, feeling her underwear slowly becoming wet under his touch.

“Pretty eager this early in the morning, aren’t we?” He purred against her neck.

“You’re not doing so bad yourself.” She replied with pushing her hips back against his, making him groan and thrust forward.

“Such a tease.” He chuckled. His velvety voice making her whole body tingle.

“Why don’t you do something about it then?” She prompted him, slightly turning around to capture his lips.

Loki’s hand slid inside her panties as he kissed her. His tongue darting into her mouth almost instantly as his fingers circled her clit and she moaned. Emily slithered a hand inside his pants and wrapped her fingers around his erection. 

Soft moans mixed with groans filled the dark room. While the sun was shining outside, the dark curtains prevented the light from harshly sneaking in. The two of them writhed against each other’s bodies, needing more friction and more of one another.

Loki slid two fingers inside, making Emily arch her back and raise a thigh and drape it over his own to give him a better access. “Fuck, that feels so good.” She whispered against his lips.

“I love feeling you like this.” He whispered back. “So wet for me. So eager to please me.” He curled his fingers inside of her and Emily moaned loudly as he hit her sweet spot. “I love hearing you come undone.” 

“Continue like that and you won’t have to wait for long.” She giggled, stroking him in firm, yet gentle movements.

“I don’t feel like waiting.” He grinned and repeated the movement.

Emily came that instant and her body shivered against Loki’s. Her hand involuntarily tightened around him, making him moan and thrust his hips forward. 

Loki slipped his hand out of her and brought his fingers to her mouth. She licked them eagerly, before he grabbed her chin and turned her face towards him and kissed her. He turned her to lay on her back, which made her let go of him and he slid between her legs. He stared into her eyes as she spread her legs and he waved a hand, making her clothes disappear.

“Wicked.” She grinned, loving the cool breeze-like feeling his magic caused over her skin.

“Pleased to hear that.” He smirked and dipped his head down between her legs, running his tongue over her clit. Emily moaned, spreading her legs even further as she arched her back. A single touch from Loki and she was lost in a blissful cloud of sensations. As his tongue moved over her clit, he brought his hands to her breasts, squeezing and kneading them as he ate her out. Emily dropped her hands above her head, her body trembling from the onslaught of sensations he was causing her.

“Loki, I’m close...” she whispered, rolling her hips against his face.

“Not yet.” He said and raised his head. Emily looked at him as he climbed on top of her, his clothes disappeared as he approached her and captured her lips once more.

She wrapped her legs around his waist as he entered her. She couldn’t stop moaning against his mouth as he thrust into her with a steady rhythm. “Harder. Please, harder.”

Loki responded with pulling his cock out until just the head was inside of her, then harshly thrusting into her. He was careful not to go at full force, for he knew her mortal body could not handle it. But the way she moaned made him repeat it and he dipped his head into the crook of her neck, sucking the soft skin there as he fucked her senseless.

They came together, their orgasms hitting simultaneously and they held on to each other for dear life until both their bodies stopped trembling.

Minding his weight on top of her, Loki slid out of her and dropped to her side, pulling her to his chest and wrapped his arms around her. “Good morning, my love.”

“Good morning indeed.” She chuckled against his skin and placed a soft peck against his chest.

While she had just woken up, Emily felt tired enough to want to fall asleep again. She had to go to work later, but she had an afternoon shift at the hospital. Taking a nap in Loki’s arms right now wasn’t going to make her late, so she let herself fall back into slumber.

Loki kissed the top of her head and closed his eyes as well when he felt her fall asleep. He smiled and kept holding her. His heart swelling with love and care for her and their child that was growing inside of her.

-*-*-*-*-*-

When Emily returned from work that evening, she went straight to the penthouse. She threw a half-assed greeting at Pepper and went to her room, straight into shower.

Pepper cocked her head at how Emily greeted her. She figured something must have happened at work or it was the morning sickness again, so she decided not to go after her cousin and simply wait. 

When Emily did not join her for preparing dinner, Pepper finally went to see what was wrong.

“Em?” Pepper knocked on the door before opening it and peeking inside.

Emily was curled up in bed, a towel wrapped around her hair. Her back was to the door, so Pepper didn’t know if Emily was asleep or not. She walked in, gently closing the door behind her and went to sit at the edge of the bed.

Emily turned to look at her with red eyes and wet cheeks. “Em, what happened?” Pepper sounded concerned.

“Lost a patient.” Emily said and turned back on her side and buried her face onto her pillow.

“Oh honey, I’m so sorry.” Pepper squeezed Emily’s shoulder as she spoke. “Is there anything I can do for you?”

“I just want to be left alone for a bit.” Emily replied, her voice muffled by the pillow.

“Of course. I’ll have FRIDAY let you know when dinner is ready, in case you want to join us.”

When Emily didn’t reply, Pepper took that as her cue to leave. With a sigh, she got up and opened the door, finding Hugo standing there, waiting to be let in. Once inside he hopped onto the bed and snuggled next to Emily, who wrapped an arm around him. Pepper closed the door and took out her phone while she headed to the kitchen. She sent Loki a message. She knew Emily had her ways in dealing with these kind of situations, which consisted of an enormous amount of crying and hiding at her apartment, with Hugo being at her side the whole time. In a day or two she would be fine, but this time she was not alone. She had a boyfriend and was pregnant. Loki needed to be there with her.

Loki was reading at the library when he received the message from Pepper. He dropped the book and rushed out, heading to the penthouse. Once there, he went straight to Emily’s room.

He softly knocked on the door and heard Emily telling Pepper she needed to be left alone for a bit. Instead of letting her be, Loki opened the door and walked in. He closed the door and went to sit at her back, gently running his palm over her arm.

Upon feeling his warm touch, Emily turned around and buried her face onto his lap. She didn’t say anything and simply curled up against his thigh. Loki leaned down, kissing her head before he scooped her up so he was holding her in his arms as she buried her face onto his neck.

“Pepper told me what happened. I’m sorry.” He whispered as he ran his fingers through her hair. “I’m so sorry.”

“No, I’m sorry that I’m taking this harder than I should.” She sniffed, curling her fingers into a fist as she grabbed at his shirt. Hugo came to sit at Loki’s side, looking at both of them with his single eye in a way Loki could only describe as concern. He scratched the back of Hugo’s ears before he brought his hand back to rest on Emily’s waist.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

She shook her head. But she spoke anyway. “It was expected, given the injuries, but still.”

“Was there any thing at all that could have saved them?”

“None. All we could do was to make it as comfortable as possible.” She turned her face to lean her cheek against his chest and looked at her hand. “He died holding my hand.”

Loki took the hand she was holding up and brought it to his lips, placing a soft kiss onto her palm. “Then he had passed on feeling well cared for.” He spoke softly, holding her palm against his chest and he kissed her forehead. “There is nothing that I or anyone could say to make it feel better. But know this, my love, I will always be there at your side, holding you, loving you and caring for you while you mourn the loss of a patient. I would only ask of you to come to me, instead of trying to deal with it alone.”

Emily raised her head and looked into his green eyes through her own tear stricken ones. “I swear one day you’re going to cause me diabetes for how sweet and considerate you are.” She finally smiled, which he took as victory.

“If that ever happens, which I do not wish for, I’ll make sure to sit at your bedside and nurse you back to health.” He closed the little distance between them by kissing her lips. The kiss was gentle and slow. Loki poured all his love and affection into it and Emily’s heart was bursting with warmth.

“I love you so much.” Emily whispered against Loki’s lips after the kiss ended.

“I love you too, darling.” Loki smiled against her lips and nuzzled her cheek. “Would you like to have dinner with the family? Or do you still want to be left alone?”

“I just want you to hold me. Maybe dinner later?” She then looked at Hugo. “Though my boy here will need to eat and go for a walk later.”

“Then how about I give him some food and we have our dinner here? I would like it if you would eat something now rather than later. After that we can take him out together.”

“That sounds lovely.” She nodded.

While Loki took Hugo to give him food and grab dinner for themselves, Emily got out of bed and went to the bathroom to wash her face. She stared at her reflection in the mirror, noting the streaks of dried tears over her cheeks. She needed to do better with her reaction to patient loss. It was an unfortunate part of her job, but she shouldn’t let it get to her this way. It was unhealthy and she knew it, though so far, she hadn’t found the right formula on how she could cope with it. 

She continued thinking about it as she washed her face and put on some facial cream. Maybe talking about it could work as a first step into the right direction? She noticed that talking to Loki made her feel much better and she wasn’t guilt ridden as much anymore. She even didn’t have go into the gruesome details on how the patient was brought to the ER. She was thankful for that.

Loki returned shortly after with a tray of the food Pepper had made. Thor was already dining with Morgan and Pepper. Loki had grabbed his and Emily’s portions and brought them to her bedroom.

“You spoil me, you know?” Emily said with a smile when Loki came into the bedroom. She got up and pulled a chair close to the bed to be used as a table. Then she hopped onto the bed and sat cross-legged. Loki set the tray on the bed and handed Emily her plate and a fork. He grabbed his own and sat down across from her, one leg tucked underneath him and the other on the floor.

“I’d rather spoil none other.” He smiled as he took a bite of his food.

They ate while making small talk. Both of them telling each other how their day had gone. Emily was happy to hear Loki was back at the library. He hadn’t done that for a while and she knew how much he enjoyed reading. She made a mental note to take him to the New York Public Library one day. She figured he would enjoy the Rose Main Reading Room.

Once done with dinner, they got ready to head out for Hugo’s evening walk. The weather was getting colder as winter was approaching, so they put on jackets before they went out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was thinking, while I know where I will be taking this story, is there something (a scene or a character) that you would like to see here? Let me know and I'll see what I can do.
> 
> You can also find me on Tumblr @kaogasm


	56. Chapter 56

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It has been a while since my last update, but here we are!   
> No warnings for this chapter, well, aside from some Morgan cuteness xD

It wasn’t every day that both Emily and Loki would coincidentally have a day off together, unless it was a weekend. It had been a week since Emily had come back home mourning the loss of a patient. She had noticed that this time, because she shared her thoughts and feelings about it with Loki, by the next morning she was feeling much better. It had been a while since she’d been this close to a man and while Loki made it really easy for her, she still required some getting used to. Old habits die hard, despite being months into a relationship. Though Emily was sure she’d get over this habit of hers soon enough and she was quite pleased about the thought.

Emily had taken Loki to the New York Public Library that day. They had joined a tour program that walked them through the library and introduced them to the history and architecture of the establishment. Loki was impressed how the Midgardians could manage to build a reading room so grand without a dome or interior columns to support the ceiling. His eyes were glued to every little detail he could notice during their tour. He barely spoke to Emily and was constantly asking the guide questions regarding the architecture. He was comparing this library to Asgard’s, despite there not being much to compare them with. Asgard’s library was much bigger and rich with books no other world could ever dream of possessing, but for Midgardian standards, this library was quite impressive.

After they were done with their visit to the library, they took a walk along the streets of New York before finally heading home. It was late in the afternoon and Pepper was already back from work, while Morgan was playing with Hugo in her room.

“Hey, Pep.” Emily greeted her cousin as she and Loki walked into the living room.

“Hey, you two. How was the library?” Pepper set her tablet aside.

“Impressive.” Loki replied, sitting down on the couch while Emily took the armchair.

“I don’t think the tour guide had answered that many questions in a single tour.” Emily grinned.

“He seemed happy to do so and I had a lot of questions.” Loki shrugged.

“Oh definitely! Most tour guides love it when people ask the right questions and you were doing just that.”

Loki smiled in such smug a way that made Emily giggle and shake her head.

They had quickly fallen into a routine whenever at the penthouse. Emily and Pepper would be talking about baby related stuff, while Loki would go and occupy himself with Morgan. Sometimes tutoring her, when it was that time of the day and sometimes just playing with her and Hugo.

Today Morgan had plans for the God of Mischief. She wanted to play with Loki's hair, despite it being her tutoring hour. Loki knew there was no point in forcing her to wait with play time until later, so he decided they could make an exception. Morgan was excited and grabbed all her hairbands and ribbons and lay them on the floor next to Loki, who was sitting cross-legged, with Hugo laying next to him with his head over Loki’s lap.

Morgan started brushing Loki’s hair. He closed his eyes as she took care of carefully brushing the strands of jet black locks until she was satisfied with it. Then she handed him the hair brush and moved on to grab her colourful hairbands.

“Open your hand.” She instructed and Loki did as asked. She dumped the selection of rubber bands onto his palm and grabbed one. Then, one-by-one, she took little random sections of hair and tied each with a different colour.

Loki had to squint a couple of times where she would tug a bit harshly at his hair. It didn’t hurt, though it wasn’t a pleasant feeling either. But in the half hour it took her to play with his hair, never did he complain. He patiently followed her little instructions, curious about how he would look like in the end.

When Morgan was done, she walked around and stood in front of him. She gave him a look with her head tilted to the side and lips pursed, examining her work of art. Once she deemed it presentable, she nodded.

“Okay, you can look into the mirror.”

Loki conjured a hand mirror and looked at himself. He had to swallow hard at how ridiculous he thought he looked. His head looked like a hedgehog’s back. His hair sticking in different directions, tied tightly at the base in small sections with colourful rubber bands. He was, as Midgardians would most probably say, resembling a Christmas tree on crack.

Nevertheless, he smiled as he looked at her and was met with an expectant gaze.

“I love it.” He said and Morgan’s face lit with a big smile.

He brought a hand up to his hair, to start removing the hair bands, but Morgan was fast to stop him.

“No, no, no! Wait! Mommy and Emily haven’t seen you yet!”

Shit. Loki hadn’t anticipated _that_. He had hoped to not to do that, since he knew it was always a possibility with Morgan that she would want to show off her creations to her mother, but now he was a bit torn between saying no and agreeing to it. He didn’t want to come off as ridiculous, but he also didn’t want to break Morgan’s heart.

With a defeated sigh, Loki nodded. “Alright.” He mumbled. “But very quickly, alright?”

Morgan happily darted out of the room even before Loki could stand up.

Hugo raised his head and looked at Loki with what he assumed to be sympathy. Or maybe it was mockery, Loki couldn’t tell. “If you dare mock me, I’ll turn you into a cat.” He mumbled as he finally stood up. Hugo let out something resembling a snort and Loki just rolled his eyes and sighed. He made the mirror in his hand disappear and he dragged his feet towards the living room where he knew the two women would be, as he heard Morgan telling them excitedly about her achievement in the hair styling department.

Just before he reached the end of the corridor, Morgan came running to him and grabbed his hand. “Come on! They’re waiting for you.” She grinned at him with pride and pulled him along.

Pepper was sitting expectantly and Emily immediately took her phone out the moment she saw Loki walk into the living room and started snapping pictures of his miserable looking face. He was glaring at her, but she couldn’t care less. He looked absolutely ridiculous in the best way possible. His hair was sticking in all directions, tightly knotted at the base in colourful hairbands into little pony tails. If this was the 90’s, he could have very well been a member of a boy group or something.

“Mommy, look! Loki’s hair looks awesome, right?” Morgan chirped, all happy and proud.

“It sure is something.” Pepper could only give her daughter a polite smile, barely keeping it together and she did everything not to meet Loki’s gaze.

“It looks amazing!” Emily kept taking photos from her seat, her grin went from ear to ear and Loki just glared murder at her, but she wasn’t about to stop. “Oi, don’t look at me like I stole the last cookie. Smile, darling!”

Morgan tugged at Loki’s hand and he looked at her, his features softening instantly as he crouched to be at eye level with her. “You’re not smiling. You don’t like your hair, do you?” She pouted.

“I love it, little one.” He finally smiled at her. He could never tell her what he really thought about how he looked. It was irrelevant. Absolutely and utterly irrelevant, especially when he realized this was _her_ moment. She had achieved something and was feeling proud of it. If it meant he was supposed to look ridiculous, then so be it. “I think I’m not used to have my hair done like this. On Asgard, warriors would make small braids into their hair. Like Thor does.”

“You never have braids in.” Morgan eyed him suspiciously.

“Because I like my hair untied.” He simply shrugged.

“Oh.” She nodded and he pulled her into a hug.

“I absolutely adore what you did to my hair, you know?” He spoke softly into her ear. “I bet Emily would love to have the same hairstyle.” He eyed Emily with mischief written all over his face. She glared at him with raised eyebrows and wide eyes, slightly shaking her head in terror.

“Yes! Then you two can have matching hair!” Morgan let go of him and ran to her room.

“You’re horrible!” Emily said, shock written on her face and trying hard not to smile at Loki.

Loki chuckled and stood up. He walked over to her and leaned down, capturing her lips into a kiss. “I know. I love you, too.” He grinned and went back to Morgan’s room.

“Maybe you shouldn’t have been too excited about seeing him like that?” Pepper giggled softly.

“Absolutely not!” Emily laughed, but then she smiled softly. “Every since he’s gotten his powers back, he’s been so poised and perfect in every sense. I guess I kind of missed the imperfection.”

“You should tell him that.” Pepper said, a knowing smile on her face.

“Tell whom, what?” Loki came back, his hair still sticking in all directions. Morgan followed him with a small box full of more colourful hairbands.

“Later.” Emily said, narrowing her eyes at him as Morgan climbed up the couch and stood next to her.

“Em, you need to untie your hair so I can work.” Morgan said as she waited for her instructions to be followed.

“Yes, ma’am.” Emily sighed as she took her hairband off and let her hair flow down her shoulders.

Morgan immediately went to work. She carefully and slowly sectioned Emily’s hair, picked a hairband and tied a section and moved on to the next. Hugo came to the living room as well, looked at his human with his head tilted to the side and then went to lay down in his bed, watching the whole interaction in silence. 

Loki sat down on an armchair, leaning forward with his elbows resting over his knees and chin over his fists. He grinned as he watched Morgan happily ‘styling’ Emily’s hair, while Emily glared daggers at him.

“You’ll pay for this.” Emily mouthed at him and as a response, Loki wiggled his eyebrows. Emily couldn’t keep her pissed off façade anymore and ended up giggling. “It still stands, though.” She told him, her finger raised in warning.

“Bring it on.” Loki’s grin went ear-to-ear at the challenge. He knew it was all in good fun, and he was kind of looking forward to whatever she would throw at him.

Pepper had excused herself and went to get dinner started. Morgan put the finishing touches on Emily’s hair, which consisted of brushing the little ponytails away from her aunt’s face and then hopping off the couch to stand in front of Emily and giving her a judging look, her little arms crossed over her chest. Once she seemed done, Morgan gave a single nod and smiled.

“Done.” She chirped and turned to Loki. “Loki, can you make a mirror for Emily to see herself?”

“Sure.” He conjured a hand mirror and gave it to Morgan, who brought it to Emily.

Emily took the mirror, eyeing Loki suspiciously as he was still grinning like an idiot. She looked at herself and to her own surprise, she raised an eyebrow as she examined herself. “Not bad, kid.” She grinned and looked at Morgan, who was beaming with excitement. There was no way in hell she would give Loki the satisfaction of knowing she looked equally as ridiculous as he did.

“You like it?” Morgan’s eyes shone with delightful curiosity.

“Of course, I do!” Emily set the mirror aside and pulled Morgan into a hug. “I think you might become an awesome hairdresser one day!”

“What’s a hairdresser?” The child asked after pulling away from the hug.

“It’s the person who does people’s hair. Like cutting, dying, styling.”

“Mommy cuts my hair. Is she my hairdresser?”

Emily chuckled at that. “Well, in this case, she is. But not professionally. How about I take you with me to the salon next time I go for a haircut?”

While Morgan nodded happily at the idea of going out with Emily, Loki’s grin faded for a moment as he sat up straight. “You... want to cut your hair?”

“My regular trim. I like my hair long enough to put into a bun for work, but I have to have it trimmed every now and then.”

“Oh.” The sigh of relief he let out was evident and Emily raised an eyebrow at that. Loki has never shown interest, nor an outspoken opinion about the length of her hair. She was curious where this came from.

“You seem relieved. Something I should know about?” She helped Morgan onto her lap and wrapped her arms around her.

Loki shook his head. “No, not really. I assume I thought you wanted to cut your hair short and quite frankly...” he rubbed the back of his neck as he smiled, “I like the length of your hair the way it is. Though you’re beautiful no matter the length of your hair.”

“Nah, don’t worry. I look horrible with short hair. Tried it years ago and I looked like a walking mushroom.” Emily laughed, making Morgan laugh with her and Loki just stared at her in confusion, trying to imagine her as a walking mushroom and it didn’t really look good.

In the end he chuckled as well, shaking the thought away. “My statement stands. You’re beautiful no matter.” He smiled lovingly at her.

“See,” Emily spoke softly in Morgan’s ear, “when a guy tells you that, don’t believe him immediately. He might just be saying that to trick you into something.”

“I do no such thing!” Loki raised his chin, feeling slightly offended at the notion. But his tense shoulders relaxed when he realized Emily was simply making a joke as she wiggled her eyebrows at him with a grin tugging at her lips.

“You’re more mischievous than I gave you credit for, my love.” Loki leaned back onto the armchair, crossing his legs in the process.

“I learned from the best.” She winked at him and helped Morgan off her lap.

“Indeed you have.” He chuckled, shaking his head.

Morgan hopped off of Emily’s lap and went to her bedroom, Hugo instantly following her. Loki took the chance of an unoccupied girlfriend to relocate himself to her side. He dropped next to her and pulled her over his lap, capturing her lips into a gentle kiss.

“Hello,” he spoke softly, nuzzling her cheek.

“Hey there.” Emily replied.

“I haven’t thanked you properly for the trip to the library today.”

Emily examined his face. His green eyes radiated with love she knew was reserved only for her and their unborn child. She traced his cheekbones with the tip of her fingers, her eyes never leaving his.

“You can thank me properly later.” She whispered, her fingers gently tracing over his lips.

Loki brought his hand to cover hers that was over his lips and kissed each of the tips of her fingers. “I love you.”

“And I you.” She replied.

“Boss, if you can come to the living room. You kind of need to see this.” FRIDAY suddenly spoke and both Emily and Loki wondered what they did to warrant that comment.

“What is it, FRIDAY?” Pepper came into the living room, wiping her hands on a kitchen towel.

FRIDAY turned the TV on and all eyes were instantly directed to it. Emily gasped audibly, her hand coming to cover her open mouth as they looked at Peter’s face on the screen with large letters at the bottom saying:

“Spider-Man’s identity revealed: Peter Parker.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoopsie...
> 
> My Tumblr: @kaogasm. Come say hi!


	57. Chapter 57

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone for the comments on the previous chapter and also for all the kudos!  
> Here's the next chapter and a bit of damage control :)

Pepper was instantly making phonecalls trying to get as much information as she could. Emily grabbed her own phone and started calling Peter, but it kept going to voicemail. Loki glared at the TV screen, trying to understand just what just happened there. Who was that person they kept showing on the screen next to Peter’s photograph and why did he reveal Peter’s identity to the world.

A thud on the terrace, followed by weak banging on the glass doors caught their attention. It was Peter. As FRIDAY opened the glass door for him, Loki sprinted to his young friend and Peter just collapsed onto his chest.

“Everyone knows. Everyone knows and I don’t know what to do!” He sobbed, clinging to Loki’s shirt for dear life.

Loki wrapped his arms around the young man and held him there, he let his friend cry against chest and he turned to look at the two women in the room. Pepper was back to her phonecalls, giving instructions and already starting the clean-up process. Emily walked over to Peter and placed a gentle hand over his shoulder.

“Pete, it’s going to be okay. Pepper’s taking care of it.”

Peter let go of Loki and looked at Emily. “What they showed on TV, it’s... it’s a lie, Em! It’s out of context! It didn’t happen that way! I swear to you!”

“I believe you!” Emily said immediately and hugged Peter. “I believe you, I promise, I do!”

“Why don’t we sit down and I’ll get you some water. Then you can tell us what exactly happened.” Loki spoke in a calm and collected voice. He nodded at Emily and she took Peter over to the couch. 

The teenager did not let go of her and he just cried into her arms. Loki brought a glass of water for Peter and Pepper was practically yelling into the phone.

“Pep,” Emily called for her. When Pepper looked at her, she gave her a look that said Peter didn’t need that at the moment. Pepper sighed and went into the kitchen. On her way, they heard her calling for Happy, demanding that he gets his ass up to the penthouse immediately.

Peter took the offered glass and drank a sip. He held the glass between two hands and kept staring into it, wiping his tears every now and then as he tried to stop crying.

“Do you want to talk about it? Or not yet?” Emily asked, brushing his hair off his face in a motherly fashion.

“It’s all a lie. EDITH asked me if she should execute a command and I said execute them all. He made it look like I was referring to people.” He drew in a shuddered breath. 

“Who’s Edith?” Emily asked.

“Why don’t you start at the beginning? From what we’ve just seen, you were in London?” Loki asked, coming to sit on Peter’s other side.

Peter nodded and started telling them how he was on a school trip in Europe when the attacks started, how Fury contacted him and basically stalked and manipulated him into accepting the mission. How he had met Mysterio, who was called Quentin Beck and who turned out to be a former Stark Industries employee. Pepper had joined them at that point and listened to the whole story. When Peter was finished, she knelt before him and put a hand over his knee.

“Peter, I’ll take care of this. Okay? It will blow over, I promise.” She said, a gentle smile on her face.

“You don’t understand, Mrs. Stark.” He shook his head. “Most people would forget about this, but my school.” He looked at her, tears flowing down his cheeks again. “They’ll turn my life into a living hell. And May...”

“Over my dead body.” Loki declared, a plan suddenly forming in his head. “Pepper, can you arrange an press conference? We need to present Peter’s side of the story to the public.”

“That we’re definitely going to do. Quentin Beck was never a model employee and he was fired for a reason. We have all the paperwork to prove that his words are not to be trusted. FRIDAY, get me the full, unedited footage of what was shown on TV. We need to present context. And prepare for a press conference. Get Cap to come here as well.”

“Yes, ma’am.” FRIDAY replied and got to work.

“As for you, young man, let’s get you changed into comfortable clothes and have some dinner together. I’ll call your aunt and tell her you’ll be staying here for a while.

“Come, let’s get you to your room.” Emily said and helped Peter up, who nodded and walked with her downstairs, where his room was.

Once they were gone, the elevator door opened and Happy walked in. Pepper motioned for him to take a seat and he did so, looking pretty nervous and Loki raised an eyebrow at that. Happy never looked this nervous. He did, of course, get into his own version of panic, but this time he looked like he knew he had done something wrong and was scared of the consequences.

“So you went to Europe.” Pepper started, taking a seat opposite of him and crossing her legs. Happy nodded. “You took a jet and just up and went to Europe. And you gave EDITH to Fury?”

“Peter needed help.”

“You could have at least told me? Even FRIDAY didn’t inform me about what was going on. Why did FRIDAY not know of this?”

“I knew of it.” FRIDAY joined the conversation. “But Mr. Hogan had instructed me that everything was under control and there was no need to burden you with it.”

Happy nodded. “I swear to you everything was under control. I didn’t know Beck would be releasing that video to the press!”

“I am so disappointed in you right now, Happy.” Pepper sighed and shook her head. “What did Tony do after every mission he was on? Surveillance saved on a secure server and get rid of everything out there that could potentially leak to the press!”

“I did that! I swear to you I did!” Happy sat forward in his seat, pleading his case. “I did everything like Tony used to do. How could I know Beck had this all planned? I didn’t even know Beck was still around!”

“Not everyone is capable of predicting their enemy’s next move.” Loki said, coming to sit next to Pepper. “But there is something we can do.”

“Boss, you’re getting several calls from different media outlets and news agencies.”

“Press conference in two hours.” Pepper said, uncrossing her legs and getting up. “Happy, I’m not mad at you. These things happen. But you should have told me you were going to Europe. And you shouldn’t have given EDITH to Fury. It could have gone worse than how it did.”

Happy stood up as well. “I know, Pep and I’m sorry. I’ll go get the conference room ready.”

“See you later then.” She smiled at him, but as soon as he left, her smile turned into a frown.

“You’re still bothered by something.” Loki noted from where he was sitting and Pepper nodded.

Emily and Peter came back, Peter dressed in sweatpants and a hoodie. His eyes were still red and swollen, but he wasn’t crying anymore.

“I just don’t know what to tell them other than revealing Becks records.” Pepper said and sat back down.

“The world will still know Peter is Spiderman.” Emily sighed.

“Not necessarily.” Loki said, getting up. “Spiderman will be attending your press conference and formally reveal himself to the public.

“Loki, that’s exactly what we don’t want!” Emily sighed.

“We need to take control of the situation, but that will turn things worse for Peter.” Pepper said.

“Who said Peter was Spiderman?” Loki grinned as all of them looked at him as if he had grown an extra limb or something. He slightly raised both arms at his side and his body shimmered and rippled, his clothes turned into the spider suit and he became a foot shorter, at Peter’s height to be exact.

All of them just stared at Loki in shock, jaws dropped open as they watched the transformation happening.

“You have forgotten that I happen to be a shape shifter.”

All three of them gasped when they heard Peter’s voice coming from the Spiderman standing in the room. Loki retracted the mask and they gasped again, seeing a second Peter standing there. “This is because it’s the face shown on television, but...” he tapped his ear and there was a blue holographic ripple going over his face and it moved in a way that a mask was being taken off. They were now looking at a dark skinned teenager with big brown eyes and short, curly hair. “My name’s Miles Morales and I’m Spiderman.” His voice was still similar to Peter’s.

“That is... disturbing.” Emily wrinkled her nose. To see her boyfriend turn into a teenager was just wrong.

“That’s actually genius.” Pepper said, years of dealing with Tony had given her the needed ability to not show her shock whenever something like this happened. “Loki, you’ll join me at the conference. Peter, you’ll join us as well. Spiderman needs to apologize for causing you such distress.” She turned back to Loki. “You’ve seen him around the company while he was an intern and decided to use his face in case your mask ever got ripped or whatever.”

Both Loki and Peter nodded. Emily was still eyeing Loki with disturbance over her face. Loki looked at her and wiggled his eyebrows at her in a flirting manner. “Oh God, don’t do that! Ew!” Emily covered her eyes as she started giggling. “Turn back to yourself or it’s the couch for you tonight!” That made both Pepper and Peter laugh. 

“Aw, come on, sweetheart, don’t you like my new look?” He slid next to her and dropped his arm around her shoulder. Emily shuddered and pushed him away.

“Loki, you’re a kid! This is wrong!” Despite her protesting, she was still giggling and kept her eyes closed. The spot next to her then dipped further in as a heavier person was now sitting next to her, and the arm around her shoulder was back, but this time it was a familiar one, more welcome than any other arm that dared to be placed there.

“Is this better?” Loki kissed her temple and smiled. She finally opened her eyes and slapped his thigh.

“Much better. And next time you decide to change yourself into a teenager, don’t come on to me.” She warned him, poking a finger into his chest.

“It was still me.” He grinned.

“You were in a teenager’s body!” 

“So?”

“Oh my God, you two stop!” Pepper giggled. “You can continue that after dinner. Let’s grab something to eat before we have to get to the conference hall.”

-*-*-*-*-*-

As they finished dinner, the whole team of Avengers were at the penthouse. Loki smirked and looked at Peter, who looked like he was about to burst out and cry again when Steve said they were there to make an announcement as a team.

Pepper informed them about the plan and they were all on board with it. Soon enough, she went to change into suitable clothes for the CEO and owner of Stark Industries. When she came back everyone was ready and waiting for her.

The elevator chimed and when the doors opened, May Parker stormed out and pulled Peter into a tight hug. “Oh Pete, I’m so glad you’re okay.”

“I’m fine now aunt May.” He replied, hugging her back.

“You guys can continue hugging inside the elevator. Come on.” Pepper ushered them into moving.

They took the elevator in two small groups and when they were all at the back room of the conference hall, Pepper adjusted her blazer and skirt and looked at them. She went over the plan on when they would show up. The last one was going to be Peter and she would call for him when it was his turn.

Camera’s started clicking and the flashlights were almost blinding as Pepper walked into the conference hall. She started by thanking the media for being there and proceeded to immediately take a few questions before she made the revelation about Quentin Beck. After which she announced that the Avengers would join her and so will the Spiderman.

As the Avengers walked into the conference hall, Peter was about to follow them and Loki stopped him. “Today you’re not Spiderman.” He winked at him as he transformed into Spiderman himself and walked to the conference hall as well.

The camera flashes were so disturbing that Loki was tempted to cast a spell and burn them all off. But he knew Spiderman wouldn’t do that, so instead he just covered his eyes.

“If you could turn the flash lights off, that would be very much appreciated.” Pepper announced to the room. “Spiderman has extremely sensitive sight, and the flashing lights are blinding him.”

While the cameras continued taking pictures without flash, the questions came shooting from left and right and Loki answered them eloquently, using Peter’s voice and mannerisms. When someone finally shouted for him to reveal himself, he looked at Pepper, then at the Avengers, fidgeting on his spot like Peter did whenever he was being nervous.

Thor smirked at how Loki was a master of disguise and could mimic any person in the Nine Realms if he chose to. He felt quite proud of his brother at that moment. Especially for doing this for Peter.

Steve walked to Loki’s side, putting a hand over his shoulder as a sign of encouragement and gave him a nod. Loki nodded as well and tapped his ear to retract the mask, like he had seen Peter do in the past. The whole room gasped and cameras were up again and even more questions started coming at him.

“Ladies and gentlemen, there’s one more person you need to meet tonight.” Pepper announced and the room was listening. “The real Peter Parker.”

Peter knew this was his queue to go, so he walked into the conference hall and came to stand next to Loki, who was wearing his face right now. They looked at each other, both looking terrified and confused, while the whole room burst into camera shutter sounds and the reporters started shouting questions.

The chaos was getting out of control and it took Bruce roaring at the crowd to get them silent again. Pepper thanked him and motioned for Loki-Peter to walk forward and make his confession.

When Loki revealed the scared face of Miles Morales, the press went crazy again. He answered as many questions as he could, keeping up the facade of a scared teenager and in the end, he turned to Peter and apologized to him for using his face and identity to cover up his own under the guise of Spiderman.

Peter accepted the apology publicly and they all left the conference hall, leaving behind more questions from the press being shouted at them.

As soon as the doors to the hall closed and were locked behind them, Peter let out a sigh of relief. Loki transformed back to himself and Thor suddenly pulled him into a tight hug.

“Oof, Thor... can’t breathe!” Loki struggled in his brother’s arms, even though he knew it came from a place of love, it didn’t mean it had to kill him.

“I’m just so proud of you, brother.” Thor grinned as he let go of Loki.

“That was a neat trick you did there.” Sam grinned. “A lot of kids will be happy about it, by the way.”

Loki wasn’t sure what Sam meant with that, but he figured it had to do with the fact that kids would finally see how one of their favorite superheroes really looked like. He couldn’t but feel sorry for Peter, for not getting the recognition is deserved because of his age and the potential harm revealing his identity would bring his family and friends. At the same time he was proud how a teenager was able to keep his identity a secret for so long.

They all returned to the penthouse, where Emily was waiting for them as she watched the press conference on TV, with Hugo sitting next to her. It seemed that it was working and now the media was trying to find who this Miles Morales was, where he lived, which school he went to. And they were not pleased about not being able to find any information about him, other than those released during the press conference.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay for Loki saving the day? xD
> 
> Btw, not sure how many of you are subscribed to my profile, but yesterday I posted a new oneshot called [Lost and found](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28640772). It's a Winterfrost (Loki x Bucky) story. If you're into that, give it a read and let me know what you think.
> 
> Also, come stalk me on Tumblr! @kaogasm


	58. Chapter 58

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for the lovely comments on the previous chapter!  
> Here's a chapter that I think a lot of you would enjoy xD

As days passed and seasons changed, things were relatively calm around the Stark Tower. It was getting close to Christmas and people were decorating homes, streets and shops. At every step Loki could see the colourful lights hanging on windows and roofs. People dressed at the figure called Santa Clause walking the streets, some collecting donations for whatever cause they were involved in.

He tucked his hands into his pockets as he walked outside of a store. He had a destination to reach and he needed to get there alone. He could translocate, but he found himself liking the Midgardian ways of moving around. He could enjoy the scenery for an amount of time, instead of instantly appearing somewhere. So far, though, the only time he had used translocation was when they were rescuing Morgan from the mutant. Since then he didn’t have the need to do it. The one time he offered to, Emil wanted to drive. What he knew he needed to do at some point was to take driving lessons. Even if he had his magic back, he still wanted to live the way Midgardians did. It was more... interesting, to say the least.

He didn’t know how long he had been walking, but it had been a while. The distance covered by car was easily around 40 minutes. By foot? Definitely longer.

He walked through the rows of tombstones until he reached the little gate, opening it and walking further inside, until he came to stop in front of the familiar white tombstone. He automatically started cleaning the surrounding area, just like he did the last time when he was here with Emily. With a wave of hand the dried flowers disappeared and new, fresh ones appeared in their place. He then conjured a wet cloth and knelt beside the stone. He started cleaning it by hand, instead of using his seiðr for it. It was his way of showing respect to Emily’s unborn child. He would put the effort in cleaning her grave instead of using magic.

Once done, he conjured three candles and lit them. One for Celeste, one for Stark and one for his parents. He knelt before the tombstone to say an ancient prayer. When done, he raised his head and looked at the name etched on the stone.

“I come here today without your mother. I needed to... talk to you. I cannot summon your soul, for I know not how. Otherwise I would have done so. She would have loved to see you.” He smiled. “Despite not having seen you at all, she still loves and cherishes you. And now we are about to welcome your sibling. We hope that he or she would decide to spend some time with us, instead of joining you. Please forgive my selfishness in this matter.”

He sighed, tucking his hand into his pocket and taking out a small, black box and turned it in his palm. He turned his gaze to the stone before him. “Celeste Green, I have been infatuated with your mother the moment I opened my eyes in this realm and saw her. Fell in love with her not long after. She makes me feel things I never dreamed to feel. She is my everything. My heart, my soul. She completes me. I am here to ask for your blessing of our union.”

Soft wind blew around him, causing the candle flames to dance under the setting sun. The cold winter breeze did not affect him, though he noticed his fingertips turning blue. He raised a hand to eye level, turned it around, watching the blue slowly spreading over his skin. Suddenly he felt lightheaded, like his blood pressure suddenly dropped. He wanted to stand up, but he didn’t have the strength to do so. His surroundings were turning blurry as he started hyperventilating. The corners of his eyes darkened until darkness took over and he dropped to the ground.

-*-*-*-*-*-

Loki slowly opened his eyes. The bright light from the window attacked his vision almost instantly, so he had to close them again. A shuffling sound caught his attention and he tried opening his eyes again. Squinting, he slowly sat up on what seemed to be a couch. A comfortable one. A familiar one. In fact, the whole place looked familiar. He was at the penthouse. But there was something different about it. His eyes fell on the windows and he did not see the city spreading ahead. Instead, there was a vast forest of green and he could even see mountains at the horizon.

This was definitely not New York.

But somehow it was the penthouse?

Loki ran his hand through his hair and looked around. Everything looked the same. Even Hugo’s bed was in the corner where it always was. His toys were absent though. So were Morgan’s toys. Loki started breathing fast, almost hyperventilating. His anxiety cannot be returning, for he had healed. He knew his spells had worked. He heard the shuffling again and stood up, walking towards the source of it. He heard a familiar giggle. It was coming from the kitchen. “Em? Darling?” He called as he walked in, but stood frozen at the door upon seeing the two figures sitting at the kitchen island with two cups of warm liquid before them.

“Oh hey, he’s up. Told ya!”

The two looked at him with the brightest grins one could ever receive, but Loki could not believe his eyes. Something must have happened. He must be dead, but how? There was no one following him to the cemetery. He always sensed when he was being watched or followed. He knew he wasn’t. One moment he was talking to Celeste’s tombstone and next thing he could remember was feeling sick. Then he wakes up at the penthouse that didn’t seem to be in New York, but somewhere else.

Was he dead?

“Am I dead?” That would be the only explanation for the fact that he was standing right in front of Tony Stark and a young girl he didn’t recognize, but looked quite familiar.

“He’s still blue.” The girl said, looking at Loki and then turned to Tony. “He wasn’t before.”

“Beats me.” Tony shrugged, getting up and walking over to Loki. “Hey Rudolf, good to see you not trying to murder people.” He grinned and reached out for a handshake.

Loki stared at Stark’s hand in shock. Yep, he was definitely dead. Whoever had killed him would be haunted for eternity. He’ll make sure of it. Though while he thought that, he didn’t feel any anger or resentment. He felt... calm.

He tentatively took Tony’s hand, surprised that he could touch it. They shook hands, after which Tony motioned for him to join them. “We’re having hot chocolate. Want some? It’s pretty tasty around here.”

“With marshmallows.” The girl said.

Loki had walked a few steps forward and he stood in front of the girl who had turned completely to face him, while Tony resumed his seat on the other side. Loki stared into the _very_ familiar blue eyes. The small nose he adored, the eyebrows he worshipped, the lips that would utter words of love and devotion that would make him melt on the spot.

His knees grew weak as he realized whom he was looking at.

“Celeste?” He whispered her name, like it would make her disappear if he said it louder.

She smiled at him and nodded. “You wanted to talk. Uncle Tony suggested we meet.”

Loki looked at Tony, shock evident on his face. “But how?”

“Hell if I know. Instructions appeared all of a sudden, we followed, you ended up on the couch.” Tony shrugged. “That’s not the point. We have a limited window of time before you really die. This is all soul searching voodoo search of thing. So, get to talking. And since you know where everything is, grab yourself a coffee or something. I highly recommend hot chocolate, though. It’s to die for.” He took a sip of his own drink. “No pun intended... I guess.”

Tony left the two in the kitchen and Loki took a seat next to Celeste. He couldn’t stop staring at her. He was seeing a reflection of her mother staring back at him. He couldn’t help a sob escaping his lips and he covered his mouth with his hand. Celeste tilted her head to the side and looked at him with curiosity.

“Why are you crying?”

“You.”

“Me?”

“You’re as beautiful as your mother.”

She only smiled. “She is pretty.”

Loki nodded, tears rolling down his cheeks. “She would have loved to see you.”

“She will, when the time comes.” She sighed. “I look forward to it, but it won’t be soon. I can wait. I have time.”

Loki nodded, smiling. He reached out, slowly, and ran his palm over her cheek. “I wish I could have met you as well.”

“You’re meeting me now, silly.” She grinned, making Loki laugh. It seemed that calling him silly was a thing among the daughters of this family. Morgan did that on occasion as well. “You wanted to ask me something.”

Loki nodded, pulling his hand away from her cheek. “At your grave, I was asking for your blessing.”

“What for?” She already knew, but wanted to hear it again.

“I would like to be eternally bound to your mother.” Loki straightened his back as he spoke. “I’m asking for your blessing to ask her hand in marriage.”

“But I’m only a child.” She smiled softly. “I do not have a say in that.”

“It matters not to me. Your mother loved you without even seeing you. She still does. Had you been alive, she would ask your opinion on the subject, no matter your age. It would be an honour to have your blessing.”

“Well, I am not going to say no. You have my blessing, Loki. Since you came into mom’s life, I was told you were going to be good to her. I watched you both. How she saved you, how she healed you. How you’ve helped her through dark times. How you helped her heal. I know she loves you with all her heart. By extension, so do I.”

Loki didn’t know how a seven year old could speak like an adult. Maybe it was an afterlife thing. He didn’t dwell on it and simply focused on the fact that his... _step-daughter_ had approved of him. Had given her blessings for him to ask her mother to marry him. To top it all, she loved him like her mother did. Unconditionally.

If someone would cut his chest open at that moment, they would go blind with the bright rays of happiness that made his eyes tear up once more. “May I hug you?” He whispered, smiling through the tears. She nodded and Loki wasted no time to get up from his seat and wrap his arms around her, pulling her onto his chest and holding her tight. She wrapped her arms around his waist, closing her eyes and smiling.

“Thank you.” He whispered into her hair.

“I know you’ll take good care of her, Loki. And that you’ll take good care of my sibling.” She pulled away just a bit to look up at him, but did not completely let go of him. “But do take care of yourself as well. Be careful.”

Loki nodded, not giving it much thought. “I will make sure I take good care of them.”

“I heard sniffing, everything good?” Tony returned into the kitchen, biting on a brownie.

Loki wiped his eyes and nodded as he looked at Tony. “Yes. Yes, it is.” He smiled, looking back at Celeste. “Thank you for summoning me.”

Tony leaned against the doorframe, finishing his brownie and smiling. “I’ve been watching you, Reindeer Games. Living with my family. Morgan adores you. Gotta say, kinda jealous here.”

Loki finally let go of Celeste and turned to Tony, his smile fading. “I did not intend to claim your position in her life, Stark. My apologies if you think so. But I will not apologize for loving her.” Loki straightened his back. 

Tony waved his hand in dismissal. “It’s not what I meant.” He pushed himself off the doorframe and walked over to Loki. “I’m actually glad you turned out not to be the jerk we all thought you were.” He smirked. “Thing about being dead? Sometimes things get revealed to you when you’re seeking answers.” He shrugged. “I now know what happened back in 2012. How exactly you ended up there and why you did what you did.”

Loki relaxed his shoulders and nodded. He hated thinking about the past, especially the parts that involved his time in the void, his tortures. He was glad they were all where they belonged: in the past.

Tony came to stand before him, putting both hands over Loki’s shoulders. “You’re doing good, Rudolf. I even forgave you for throwing me out the window.” He smirked.

Loki wrinkled his nose. “I’m both sorry and not sorry for that.”

Tony laughed, giving Loki’s shoulder a friendly slap, then crossed his arms. “Wouldn’t have expected any less from you.”

Loki had to chuckle. It was all surreal. Being in the presence of the deceased Tony Stark, talking to Celeste, hugging her. It was all too much. He was feeling so dizzy he could pass out.

“Tell Pepper and Morgan I love them, will ya? And take care of them.”

“I give you my word.” Loki nodded, the dizziness getting stronger.

Celeste stood by his side and wrapped an arm around his waist. “It’s time for you to go. Tell mom I love her.” She spoke softly. “I hope to see you again, but don’t make it soon.”

“We love you as well.” Loki smiled at her and he felt his blood pressure drop again and with it, he dropped to the floor.

-*-*-*-*-*-

When he opened his eyes it was dark around him. He quickly sat up and saw he was still at the cemetery. The pathways were being illuminated by small lamps, giving the surrounding area a bit of light for one to see where they were stepping. Loki looked down onto his lap, his hands were back to their porcelain colour and he still held the black velvet box in his palm.

He looked at the tombstone, a gentle smile forming on his lips. He didn’t know what exactly happened to him. How he passed out, why he passed out. Whether he was having a vision or a dream, or if he was really summoned to the land of the dead. Whatever it was, it left him with a pleasant feeling inside. He knew his intentions were accepted by the one person Emily would definitely ask for an opinion. “Thank you.” He whispered, tucking the box into his pocket and getting up.

He had a proposal to prepare for, and the idea sent nervous chills down his spine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Meanwhile at the tower: Peter and Morgan are playing hide & seek. Hugo trolling Peter by barking around his hiding spot every time for Morgan to find him.


	59. Chapter 59

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So my tablet ate several of my documents. All the WIPs I had worked on last week and all next chapters of my ongoing stories (including this one) were wiped off. No clue how or why and I can't even recover it anymore (recovery program could not find them)
> 
> So yeah, had to rewrite this chapter entirely.
> 
> Thanks for the comments on the previous chapter!

Being sure he wanted to propose was not an issue for Loki. He was more certain of that than his own existence. What was plaguing his mind at the moment was how and when to do it. Midgard had its own unwritten ways of doing it and so did Asgard. One thing that both realms shared about it was that a proposal was always romantic. That is, if it wasn’t an arranged marriage.

He was beyond relieved that neither of his parents had arranged for him to marry while he was still living on Asgard. He would have hated that.

The evening he returned home from the cemetery, he was in an exceptionally good mood. After dinner, Emily joined him in his room and they watched a movie together. They ended up making love half-way through the movie. 

In the morning, Loki woke up to an empty bed. He slowly sat up and stretched his back, feeling pretty good about the day before and especially about the evening. But all thoughts flew out the window when he heard gaging noises from the bathroom.

He threw the blanket off and jumped off the bed. He came to kneel at Emily’s side, who was basically hugging the toilet seat as she threw up. He silently gathered her hair into one hand and brought the other to her forehead, applying a firm and gentle pressure between her brows.

When Emily felt she was done, she flushed the toilet and tried to stand up, but instead, she fell against Loki. “Sorry.” She mumbled with a hoarse voice.

“It’s alright, love.” He replied softly and helped her up. He kept a firm hold around her waist as she washed her mouth and face, then proceeded to brush her teeth. After she was done, Loki brought her back to bed and tucked her in. “Can I get you something, love?” he cupped her cheek and ran his thumb over the warm skin.

“Tea would be nice.” She smiled, leaning her face into his palm. “Though you better put some pants on.” She chuckled, noticing his naked body.

“I’m assuming Thor doesn’t have any visitors.” He grinned and Emily recognized the mischief there.

“Morgan doesn’t have school today. You don’t want to accidentally bump into her if she decides to come down here.” 

“That is a very good point.” Loki chuckled. “I’ll be back in a moment.” He leaned over, kissed her forehead and went out, a pair of sweatpants materializing over him. Emily eyed him with a smile on her face and snuggled between the sheets while she waited for him to come back.

A few minutes later Loki was back with a cup of tea for Emily and a cup of coffee for himself. He set the cups on the nightstand and helped Emily sit up before handing her the tea. He then grabbed his coffee and climbed into bed next to her. “How are you feeling, my love? I thought you were cured of the morning sickness.”

Emily smiled as she took a sip of her tea. “You don’t get cured of it as such, babe. It simply gets less for the duration of the pregnancy, though even that is different for every woman.”

“I see.”

“And to answer your question, I’m feeling okay. Didn’t really like waking up to an upset stomach, but at least it didn’t completely drain me.” She smiled, leaning against him as he wrapped his arm around her.

“I’m glad to hear.” He kissed her temple and smiled at her. He was dying to tell her about what happened the day before, where he went and what he had experienced. But he decided to tell her at another time, so he wouldn’t spoil the surprise. He couldn’t possibly lie to her about the reason why he visited Celeste’s grave, so it was better to just avoid bringing the subject up for the time being.

“What’s your schedule for today?” Emily asked, snuggling closer to him. She was craving warmth since she woke up and Loki’s body felt like a living radiator at the moment.

“I have a work related meeting in a couple of hours, after that I have tutoring hour with Morgan and I’m free for the rest of the day.” Loki replied. He set his coffee aside and pulled the blanket further over Emily, who seemed to be slightly shaking as she snuggled tightly against his body. “Darling, are you sure you’re alright? I can feel you shaking.”

She nodded. “I’m fine, just a little cold all of a sudden. But you’re nicely warm.”

Loki frowned for a moment. His skin was never completely warm. He gently stroked Emily’s arm and pulled her close. He pressed his lips to her temple and closed his eyes. A soft, golden shimmer swirled over Emily, wrapping itself around her body before it disappeared. She sighed against him as she stopped shivering. “Better?” He asked in a whisper and she nodded, making him smile.

He wondered whether she was coming down with a cold or whether it was pregnancy related. One he would soon find out about, but he had no way of getting information if it was the other. He’ll have to ask Thor, maybe he’d have some information. Maybe they could get in touch with the Valkyrie. She was older than the both of them and might have some information about his bloodline. Maybe one of the older Asgardians would be able to help. Loki needed answers and he needed them soon.

A soft finger trailing over his lips pulled him away from his thoughts and he looked at Emily, who was looking at him with concern.

“You were gone there for a moment.” She said, cupping his cheek. “You okay?”

Loki smiled and nodded. “Merely concerned about you. I don’t want you catching a cold, my love.”

“I wouldn’t want that either. A cold and pregnancy don’t really go hand in hand.” She smiled. “I’ll make sure to dress warm and take some vitamin C.”

“I’m also wondering whether it’s pregnancy related.” He said before he could stop himself.

Emily sat up straight and turned to look at him, her eyes widening, close to panic. Her hand instinctively went to her small, round stomach. “Loki...”

“Nonono, my love. I did not mean to scare you!” He sat up as well and put his hand over hers. “I misspoke. I meant to say, our child is half Jotunn, so that might be the reason you are feeling cold. But I cannot be sure, since I have never learned about Jotunn pregnancy.”

That seemed to ease Emily’s concern, but only a bit. “Do you think there would be an issue? I mean, human blood and Jotunn blood...”

“You forget that you have Jotunn blood coursing through your veins as well, my love.” Loki smiled at her. “So in that sense, you are in no danger.” He cupped her cheek and looked into her eyes. “And neither is our child.”

Emily sighed, relieved upon hearing that. It was so easy to forget that she had some alien blood within her. She put her hand over Loki’s and smiled. “I can’t wait to see her.”

“Or him.” He grinned.

“Or him.” She giggled. “As long as I get to hold our baby, I don’t care whether it’s a boy or a girl.”

“Likewise, my love. But my priority right now is you.” He leaned over and gently kissed her lips. “I can call and cancel the meeting. I want to make sure you’re alright.”

“I’m more than alright, babe.” She smiled. “Don’t cancel work. I need to go to the hospital today anyway. Got an afternoon shift.”

“Are you sure you can work today?”

“I am. If I don’t feel well at any moment during the day, I’ll take the rest of the day off and will call you. I promise.”

“Good. Now how about a shower and then breakfast?” He kissed her again then nuzzled her cheek.

“Sounds perfect.”

-*-*-*-*-*-

Loki’s meeting at work was productive and Morgan’s tutoring hour was fun. They spent it doing her homework and Loki watched her put her focus on finishing her assignment. She wasn’t doing it because she loved it, no. Loki had promised her chocolate cake as a reward and she was not going to pass up the opportunity.

They were both sitting in the kitchen, a chocolate cake before each of them when Pepper walked in.

“You guys are done early today.” She smiled as she opened the fridge and took out a bottle of water.

“Morgan has done exceptionally well with today’s assignment and she received a cake as a reward.” Loki said, smiling at his little student with pride.

“I didn’t make any mistakes!” Morgan grinned, pretty proud of herself.

“Well done, honey!” Pepper said, giving Morgan a hug and kissing the top of her head.

After finishing his cake, Loki put his plate into the washing machine and excused himself. He decided he needed to do some training and gave Bucky a call. 

-*-*-*-*-*-

Bucky landed violently on the floor, the wind being knocked out of him. Loki’s knee came to press against his throat and both his hands were being held above his head.

“Yield.” Loki hissed, his face inches away from Bucky’s.

Bucky struggled to free himself, but Loki was much stronger. The fact that his windpipe was being dangerously closed off didn’t help matters. So in the end, he nodded and Loki released him.

“You weren’t joking when you said you’re not going to hold back.” Bucky said, rubbing his neck as he sat up.

“I never joke about sparring, Barnes.” Loki smirked, giving the soldier a hand and helped him stand up.

“Was a good session, though.” Bucky grinned.

“Next time I’ll render you unconscious.” Loki’s eyes shone with mischief.

“I’d like to see you try.” Bucky patted his back and chuckled. “But no magic. That’d be unfair.”

“No magic.” Loki grabbed a towel and wiped his face. “Say Barnes, I may need your help with something.”

“Sure.” Bucky grabbed a towel and a bottle of water. They went to sit on a bench.

Loki played with the towel in his hands, as if feeling nervous all of a sudden, but then he looked at Bucky with a smile. “I decided to ask Emily to marry me and I need help preparing the proposal.”

Bucky’s smile went ear-to-ear at that. “So happy for you, man! But how can I help?”

“Thank you.” Loki grinned. “Well, I am not that familiar with Midgardian customs regarding marriage proposals, so I figured you might be able to help me in that regard. It needs to be perfect.”

Bucky nodded. “Definitely. I must say I’m not sure if things have changed through the years, but in my days people kept it simple. A romantic dinner and then popping the question. I think the guys at the compound would have some ideas, if you’re not against coming over some time?”

Loki gave it a thought for a moment. Going to the Avengers Compound meant possibly running into Hawkeye. Though they had came to an agreement after Morgan’s kidnapping, Loki wasn’t sure if the man would still harbour any ill intentions towards him. But he didn’t let it phase him. With his seiðr restored, Barton was no match for him.

“I don’t mind at all.” He said. “I’ll see if Thor would like to join as well.”

“Perfect! How does this weekend sound?” Bucky asked, taking a sip of water.

“I have nothing planned. Not sure about Thor, but he is quite flexible.”

“Good. I’ll go hit the shower now and will see you on the weekend. We might end up sparring with the whole team, if you’re up to it.”

“Looking forward to knocking you unconscious.” Loki chuckled.

-*-*-*-*-*-

Loki wasn’t sure whether he should feel nervous or not. Thor turned out to have had an appointment with SHIELD, so he couldn’t come to the compound that day. After Happy had dropped Loki off at the compound, Bucky had met him at the entrance and escorted him inside.

“Don’t you teleport?” Bucky asked as he motioned the direction they were taking towards the elevators. He was surprised to see Loki arriving in a car instead of just popping up at the front.

“I do, but I have grown fond of the Midgardian ways of transport.” Loki replied with a smile.

“If I could teleport, I wouldn’t sit still for even a minute.” Bucky chuckled.

“I kind of did that while I was learning it. Ended up in a lake on my first try.”

“And lived to tell the tale.” Bucky grinned.

“Barely.” Loki chuckled. “I couldn’t swim at the time. It was fortunate that my mother had a tracking spell put on me and she found me.”

“How old were you?” Bucky stopped in front of the elevator and pressed the button.

“Hmm..” Loki crossed his arms over his chest as he mentally calculated the age difference. “In Midgardian terms, I was 6 years old.”

“Okay, that must have been a traumatic experience. Almost drowning, I mean.”

The elevator arrived and they both stepped in.

“It was. I kept away from the lake since then. Even bathing was scary. Took me years to get over the fear.” Loki smiled fondly at the memories of his childhood.

“And now?”

“Mastered teleportation and swimming alike.” He grinned.

“Good to know.” Bucky grinned back.

The elevator arrived at their destination and Bucky led Loki into what seemed to be a living area. Loki looked around, examining his surroundings. It looked so much different than the living space at the tower. It was more... cold. The interior colours were neutral, mainly different shades of grey and a bit of white thrown in the mix. He wondered if it was a conscious choice to go for that colour scheme. Then again, the people staying at the compound were fighters and the last thing on their minds would be interior design.

“Drinks?” Bucky asked and motioned for Loki to take a seat.

“Sure.”

Loki sat down while Bucky went to grab the drinks. The couch was comfortable, though not as soft as the one he had at the tower. While this area looked like a living room, it did not have the feel of it. There were no decorations to give it a home feel. He really wondered whether the people living here did not miss the cosiness only a home could offer. He was there for barely a few minutes and he already missed the cosiness he enjoyed at the tower.

“Made you some coffee.” Bucky came back with two cups of coffee in hand. He handed one to Loki before he took a seat at the other side of the couch. “Just a warning, if it tastes bad, I didn’t make it.” He grinned.

“Good to know.” Loki grinned back and took a sip, then nodded. “Not bad. I’ll tell Sam he did a good job.”

“Hey!” Bucky complained, but started laughing. 

“It was too good to let go.” Loki grinned and took another sip. “But really, it’s good. Thank you.”

They were chatting along when Sam and Wanda joined them. Loki hadn’t seen either of them for a while. He would have never thought he’d have people around that he could call friends, let alone the Avengers. While he hadn’t fought the people he was conversing with, they were still a part of the team that was once the enemy. 

Soon the conversation changed to what Loki had gone there for. Sam was immediately throwing in the clichés that everyone did. Which was basically a romantic dinner and popping the question during dessert. Put the ring into the champagne glass or the dessert itself. Loki found the idea of putting the ring in a drink ridiculous. 

“Why not take her to the place where you two first met?” Wanda suggested. 

“That’s not a bad idea, actually.” Sam said, turning to Loki. “Chicks dig that kind of stuff. How did you guys meet anyway?”

“That would be the medical facility.” Loki couldn’t help but smile at the memories. It wasn’t the most pleasant way to meet someone, but for him, it was the best way he could have ever met Emily. She had known his true self, without a disguise or magic. Just the person behind all the walls he had built around him through the years and none of it scared her away. “I was brought there by Carol Danvers. They day you were fighting Thanos.” He went on telling them about the time he spent healing, how Emily was at his side at all times and how their friendship started. He didn’t tell them all the details, of course. Only the parts he deemed worthy of sharing.

“You know, if Steve was here he’d suggest you arrange something there.” Bucky smiled. “he’s a hopeless romantic like that.”

“I think that’s a good place to start from.” Wanda smiled.

“Isn’t that too... simple?” Loki asked, looking at the three.

“If you know Emily at all, you’d know she wouldn’t consider it simple.” 

Loki turned his head to the direction the voice came from. Clint walked into the room and dropped his arrows in a corner before he joined the group. Loki was apprehensive about having Hawkeye join them, given their history, but it seemed the Avenger wasn’t alarmed by his presence. That made Loki relax a bit, though he was still a bit wary. 

What Clint said made complete sense for Loki. Emily never looked for anything grand or luxurious. She was easily pleased with small gestures. She appreciated simplicity and things that held actual meaning to them.

“You’re right.” He finally said, looking at Clint. “So we have a location. What do we do with it?”

“You don’t have to make an elaborate plan.” Clint said, smiling. He leaned forward and leaned his elbows over his knees. “Get her there, pop the question. The evening will set itself afterwards.”

“If she agrees, of course.” Sam winced when Wanda hit the back of his head. “What was that for?!”

“That!” She pointed at Loki, who was staring at Sam in shock.

“Uh... Loki, I’m sorry man. It was just a joke.” Sam raised both hands in surrender, hoping Loki wouldn’t kill him on the spot.

Loki just stared at the man. He had never stopped to consider the fact that while he wanted to marry Emily, he didn’t know if marriage was within her plans at all. Sure, they were going to have a child together, but that didn’t mean they had to get married.

Clint raised an eyebrow upon seeing Loki sink back into the couch, covering his eyes with one hand. “I did not take that into consideration.” Loki said with a sigh.

Everyone around him started talking at the same time, assuring him there was no way Emily would say no. While he appreciated the gesture, his mind was in no way going to let it go. He thought he was done with panic attacks, but he could feel it lingering at the back of his mind, threatening to raise its ugly head once more.

“Everyone just shut up!” Clint raised his voice and his teammates fell silent. Loki dropped his hand and looked at the archer, who was looking back at him. “As the only person in this room who is _actually_ married, I can tell you I’ve been through what you’re feeling right now. The fear, the doubt. It will eat you up until the moment you ask her to marry you and then some. Trust her love for you, Odinson, and things will be okay.”

Loki took a deep breath and sighed, nodding. His mind feeling a bit lighter at the archer’s words. “Trust her love.” He repeated. Things did not seem as scary anymore.


	60. Chapter 60

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for the comments and kudos!

The plan was set in motion. Loki was grateful for the Avengers’ input on the proposal. It had seemed that after all, Midgardian and Asgardian proposals were not that different. That was good, he thought. He wouldn’t need to learn something new for this. He had the knowledge it required. He had the ring. All he needed now was the hand to put the ring on.

He needed Emily to know that he was there to stay. That she was worth asking. Worth the traditional question that practically every person, male or female, in the universe craved to hear at least once in their lifetime.

It wasn’t about the ring or even the way he would propose. It was about showing her that she was the one he’d put his pride aside for. She was the one he would voluntarily kneel for. She was the one that owned his heart and he would give it to her, no questions asked. She was the only person to whom he would show his vulnerability, his devotion, his love.

He had a few weeks to get things prepared. He decided he would do it on Christmas Eve. After dinner he’d take her to the room where he first met her. The room where his life had been given back to him with her own hands.

He’d spoken to Jess, who was jumping with excitement upon hearing what he planned to do. She had promised not to say a word and to help him have the room ready in time. There wasn’t much decorating to do. Or, well, if one wouldn’t count filling the room with roses as ‘much decorating’. He could have gone overboard with it, but he figured a room full of roses was good enough. It would be illuminated with candles and FRIDAY would make sure the fire alarms wouldn’t go off in case there were too many candles in such a small space.

To make it easier for Jess to see what exactly he had in mind, he conjured the image of the decorated room. Jess was surprised by the magic at first, but she quickly gave him the thumbs up and promised to get everything needed to replicate what he had just shown her.

The next thing Loki had on his agenda was talking to Pepper and Thor. He had gotten the first blessing already, though he still couldn’t figure out how that had happened. Pepper was next. He needed to get her blessing before he would ask Emily to marry him. After that, he would inform his brother.

One evening when Emily was working a night shift at the hospital, Loki went up to the penthouse and found Pepper reading something on her tablet.

“Pepper?” He called softly, careful not to startle her. He was feeling nervous already.

She looked up from her tablet and smiled. “Hey.” Her smile faltered when she saw the worried expression on his face. She set the tablet aside. “Loki, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” He ran his hand through his hair. “I just wanted to talk about something.”

“Sure, come sit.”

Loki went to sit at Pepper’s side on the couch, turning to face her. She did the same.

“What is it you want to talk about? You look quite nervous.” She asked.

“I actually am.” Loki chuckled. “I’ve been thinking about this for a while and I have made a decision.”

“Don’t tell me you’re moving out. We love having you here!” Pepper reached over and took his hand into hers.

Loki patted her hand and smiled, his heart feeling warm for the sentiment. “I’m not moving out.” He smiled, shaking his head. “Well, unless Emily wishes for it. But she hasn’t expressed desire to do so.”

“Good.” Pepper relaxed a bit and let go of Loki’s hand. “So what is it then?”

“Well, I would like to ask for your blessing to ask Emily’s hand in marriage.”

Pepper’s eyes widened at that and she was grinning instantly. “Loki, of course! Oh my God, of course!” She moved over to him and pulled him into a tight hug. “My God this is wonderful!”

Loki laughed as he wrapped his arms around Pepper and hugged her. “Thank you. Thank you, so much!”

Pepper pulled away to look at him as she cupped his cheeks in both hands. “You deserve this. You deserve happiness and so does Emily. I couldn’t imagine any other couple who would just be perfect for and with each other.” She smiled.

“She completes me.” He said, also smiling. “I couldn’t imagine my life without her by my side. And with the little one coming, I wanted to show her that I’m not going anywhere.”

Pepper pulled him into another hug. “And you complete her, Loki.” Pepper released him again and sat back on the couch. “I’ve never seen her so happy. Especially not in the past seven or so years.”

Loki nodded, feeling honoured to be the one that made Emily happy after everything she’s been through. “There’s something else that I wanted to tell you. But it needs to stay between us. Emily cannot know for the time being. I will tell her eventually, but not yet.” He had a message to deliver and now was just as good a time as any.

“What is it?” Pepper tilted her head, wondering what that was about.

“A few days ago I went to the cemetery. Just to have a one-sided conversation with Celeste. I wished for her to be the first person to be informed about my intentions.”

“Oh Loki, that’s beautiful and very thoughtful.” Pepper smiled, putting her hand over her heart.

“It ended up not being a one-sided conversation.” He eyed her for a moment, watching her look confused. “I am still not sure what had happened, but I had lost consciousness and woke up somewhere that looked like the penthouse. This room, to be exact, only different.”

“What do you mean?”

“I woke up in Valhalla.”

Pepper knew that Valhalla was the Asgardian equivalent for Heaven. But in order for one to get there, they needed to die. “Loki... are you hurt? Did someone...”

Loki shook his head, interrupting her. “I’m fine. It was more like being put under a spell and waking up in a dream. But it felt real. I could touch and hug.” He smiled, his eyes filling up with tears. “I saw her, Pepper. I saw Celeste.”

“Oh my God.” Pepper’s own eyes were tearing up and she fanned herself to keep the tears away, but was failing. “Tell me more.”

“She’s as beautiful as Emily.” Loki wiped off the tear that rolled down his cheek. “Very intelligent. She looks exactly like her.” He went on telling her about the conversation he had with Celeste and Pepper was nodding the whole time. While she didn’t know how that was possible, the point was that Loki had spoken to Celeste. It could have been a dream, but it didn’t matter. Another surprising thing was that apparently she had grown up in the afterlife. 

“There was someone else there.” Loki smiled. Pepper looked at him, grabbing a napkin and wiping her eyes. “Tony sends his greetings and says he loves you and Morgan.”

Pepper’s breath hitched in her throat. “Loki... please... it’s too soon...” She shook her head. He shouldn’t say things just to make her feel good. In fact, this didn’t seem to make her feel good at all.

“I’d like to show you, if you’d allow me.” Loki spoke softly when he noticed he had hit a very painful nerve.

“I...” Pepper took a deep breath, trying to calm her racing heart. She missed Tony so much and even though it had been months since he passed, it still felt fresh in her mind. “Can you do that?”

Loki nodded, a gentle smile on his lips. “I have the ability, yes.”

“What would happen?”

“I would share my memories of that day. It would feel the same for you.”

“How was he?”

“Good. They live together, him and Celeste.”

Pepper couldn’t stop the tears anymore as she smiled. “I’d like to see him.”

Loki moved closer to her. “Close your eyes. This will not hurt, but you might feel discomfort in the beginning. Simply because I’m projecting my own memories into your mind. The discomfort will only last a few seconds. After that, it would feel like you’re seeing your own memory.”

Pepper nodded and closed her eyes. Loki placed his palm over her forehead and closed his own eyes as he shared the memory with her.

By the time he was done, Pepper was sobbing and he pulled her into his arms. “I’m sorry. I know it hurts.” He whispered. Pepper did not reply and simply cried onto his chest and Loki didn’t need to say anything anymore. He simply stayed there, holding her while she grieved.

After a while, when Pepper’s sobs had calmed down, they broke the hug and Loki took her hands into his. “I do not know how it happened. Whether it was a dream or a vision...”

“It felt real.” Pepper concluded for him.

He nodded. “Indeed it did.”

“Thank you for sharing this with me, Loki.” She finally smiled, wiping her eyes with the napkin. She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “I guess I needed the cry.” She chuckled. “Sorry about that.”

“There is no need for you to apologize, Pepper. My shoulder is always there for you to cry on.”

“I hope it won’t be needed, but I appreciate it.”

After bidding each other good night, Loki went back downstairs in hopes of talking to Thor, but his brother was nowhere to be seen yet. It had seemed that SHIELD kept him pretty occupied lately. Loki couldn’t help but wonder whether his brother was happy to be staying at the tower with him. He was, after all, traveling the universe with the Guardians when he was summoned back to Midgard. Thor had only decided to stay because of him and Loki wondered if that was enough.

Thor liked to remain active at all times. If he wasn’t training, then he was at a battle and vice versa. Midgard did not have battles like the ones Asgard seemed to have. Well, it did, but in the far past. Nowadays things seemed to be settled through diplomacy, at least for the most part. Though Thor never joined these battles. He preferred to put his energy working random missions for SHIELD. He seemed happy about doing those, so Loki didn’t mention anything. But he couldn’t help but wonder if Thor was _really_ happy.

-*-*-*-*-*-

It was around midnight when Loki woke up to footsteps passing the living room. He had apparently fallen asleep watching TV, but now he was woken up by what seemed to have been someone dragging their footsteps through the place.

He leaned sideways to catch a glimpse of who it was and he saw it was Thor. Getting up, he followed his brother through the hallway and caught up with him in front of Thor’s bedroom door.

“Brother?” Loki felt alarmed when he received no verbal response and only a quick glimpse and an exhausted smile from Thor. “Thor, is everything alright?”

“All is well, brother. No need to worry yourself.” Thor opened the door, but before going in, he turned to Loki. “Just exhausted from a mission. I’ll see you in the morning.”

Loki narrowed his eyes. Thor usually didn’t get exhausted from the SHIELD missions.

“Thor, talk to me.” Loki said, taking a step closer and putting a hand over Thor’s back.

Thor sighed as he opened the door, motioning for Loki to follow him in. They sat down next to each other at the edge of the bed. Thor looked miserable, his eyes glued to the floor.

“Brother, you’re worrying me. What is the matter?” Loki asked.

“I’m being summoned to New Asgard.” Thor spoke, his voice conveying the misery he was feeling.

“Why?”

“Apparently handing over the thrown to the Valkyrie isn’t sitting well with some of our people.”

“Is she not a fair ruler?”

“She is. Though while she’s only replacing me, it seems the people still demand to see the actual king make appearance.” Thor sighed, running his hand through his hair.

“Alright.” Loki nodded, trying to make sense of things. “Why is this bothering you?”

Thor turned to look at Loki, melancholy and guilt written on his face. “I do not wish to leave you again, brother.”

Loki put an arm over Thor’s shoulders. “You wouldn’t be leaving me, brother. You will only be gone for a short while and then you will return.” He grinned. “I need my brother around to help me prepare for a wedding.”

Thor didn’t register the meaning of what Loki said, so he just snorted. “Unfortunately, I’m not in the right mind at the moment to help with someone’s wedding.”

“Let me rephrase that.” Loki smirked. “I need my brother around to help me prepare for _my_ wedding.”

Thor snapped his face to stare at Loki in disbelief. His eyes instantly sparking with joy as he started smiling. “Loki, you’re not jesting with me, are you?”

Loki shook his head. “I would never make fun of such statement. I respect Emily too much to do that, brothe...oomph!”

Thor had thrown himself at Loki, pulling him into a tight hug that almost knocked the wind out of him. “By the Norns, Loki, this is the best news I have heard all day!” He pulled away just a bit to look at Loki’s face, who was grinning. “Did you ask her already? What did she say? No hang on, of course she said yes. Why wouldn’t she?”

“You’re getting ahead of yourself, brother.” Loki put both hands over Thor’s shoulders. “I haven’t asked her yet. I will do so on Christmas eve.”

“Midgardians love that holiday.” Thor smiled.

“Indeed they do. And I figured it would be a good occasion.”

“I am very happy for you brother.” Thor pulled him into another hug. “I truly am. And I’m proud of you for how far you’ve come.”

Loki did not reply. He simply wrapped his arms tightly around his brother, smiling softly for the reaction he had received and also the fact that he had managed to distract his brother from feeling miserable about leaving New York for a bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find me on Tumblr @kaogasm. Come say hi!


	61. Chapter 61

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me a while to get this chapter ready. Thanks everyone for the kudos and the lovely comments on the previous chapter!

Thor had left to New Asgard a couple of days after his talk with Loki. While he would have loved to have his brother accompany him, Loki had made it clear that he does not wish to visit their people any time soon. While it had been years, the old wounds still seemed not completely healed.

Thor understood where Loki was coming from. Being subjected to mockery for giving the art of wielding the seiðr priority rather than become a fighter in the physical sense was not something one could easily forget. Not to mention that Loki had also been concerned some people might harbour ill feelings towards him for impersonating Odin for a whole two years and no one on the whole realm was the wiser.

So Thor had left with the promise to return as soon as possible. Loki had wished him well.

Loki kept secretly meeting up with Jess whenever Emily was working and Jess wasn’t. They’d go over the plans, make adjustments or just scrap the whole thing and start all over again. He had no idea that putting together something simple required so much work. Though he didn’t let it stop him. He wanted to do this more than he had wanted anything in his life. 

“Maybe you should just stop planning and be spontaneous about it?” Jess had offered when they changed everything for the tenth time. It wasn’t that she was done with the whole thing, but she had noticed Loki being uncharacteristically overwhelmed by wanting it to be perfect and she felt the need to set her foot on the ground in order to be most helpful to him.

Loki paused for a moment, running the idea through his head. It would be exactly what he wanted. Simple and intimate. The more he planned, the more elaborate and over the top it had become. That was not _them_. Simple and intimate was more like it. “I believe you’re right.” He nodded, smiling.

Jess gathered the papers and photos of decorated rooms and put them in the tote bag she had brought them in. “Okay then. I’ll make sure the flowers get delivered and you can magically arrange them the way you have in your mind.” She grinned. “I think that’s more romantic than planning and plotting something grand and major.”

“I’m glad you approve.” He smiled at her.

“My approval has nothing to do with it. Just stating a fact here.” She stood up, smiling. “A couple more weeks and you’ll be popping the question. Oh, have you gotten your Christmas shopping done already?”

“Not yet. I should get to it soon though.”

“Yeah, before everything good is sold out.” Jess chuckled. “Okay, now that my work here is done, I’ll go home. See you next time I’m around.”

After Jess had left, Loki went into his bedroom and decided to take a shower before taking Hugo out for a walk. Emily wasn’t due back until after dinner and he figured he could use the time to cook something for her. Thor wasn’t there and Pepper would make sure Morgan didn’t come running downstairs in the evening. Loki and Emily had the whole floor for themselves.

After coming back from the walk, Hugo made his way to the couch and nestled comfortably in a corner. Loki smiled as he made his way into the kitchen and started making dinner.

That evening Emily had come back a bit later than expected, but thankfully not too late. A last minute trauma had arrived at the ER, just before her shift ended and she had to help out a bit before she could leave.

She dropped her bag next to the couch and was about to sit down when two slender arms wrapped around her waist from behind, making her smile as she leaned against Loki’s chest.

“Welcome home, love.” Loki leaned down and kissed her neck.

“Sorry I’m late. Had a last minute emergency.” She turned around and wrapped her arms around Loki’s neck before she kissed him.

“You’re home now and that’s what counts.” He replied after kissing her back.

“Whatever smell is coming from the kitchen is amazing. I’m famished.” She said, nuzzling his chest.

“That would be our dinner.” He smiled, kissing the top of her head. “How about you go change into comfortable clothes and I would set the table?”

“Yeah, I’m gonna need to shower.” She chuckled softly. “I won’t take long.”

After kissing him, she went to his room and straight into the bathroom. She had some clothes brought down there, so she wouldn’t have to go back and forth between floors. After shedding her clothes off, she turned the water in the shower on and stepped in once the temperature was acceptable.

To her surprise, lukewarm water felt too hot, almost scorching. So she turned the cold water on gradually, until she realized that today it seemed cold water was the acceptable temperature. She wondered if that was because of the baby growing inside of her. She gently rubbed the little bump she had for a tummy as she stood under the shower. 

After she was done, she grabbed a towel and wrapped her hair with it. Then grabbed the bigger one and started drying herself. Once done, she wrapped the towel around her body, got out of the shower cabin and went to stand in front of the bathroom mirror to grab a facial cream. As she reached for the cream, her eyes fell onto her reflection and suddenly she was screaming in terror.

Loki had just put the glasses on the table when he heard Emily scream. His heart dropped as he ran to the bedroom, almost crashing the door as he violently opened it. The bathroom door opened and Emily came running to him, crashing against his chest and he immediately wrapped his arms around her and held her tight. His eyes went towards the bathroom, but it didn’t seem that there was someone in there.

“Emily, what’s wrong? What happened? Are you alright?” 

“I don’t know what’s happening to me!” She cried onto his chest and Loki ran his hand over her back before he pulled away to look at her.

“Darling, what... oh...” His eyes fell on the blue colour on the side of her neck and going over her shoulder. There were delicate, barely visible tribal lines showing over the blue hue her skin had acquired.

“Loki, w-what’s happening to me?” Emily was sobbing, not able to stop the tears rolling down her cheeks.

Emily was shaking uncontrollably, so Loki gathered her within his arms once more. “It’s alright, darling. You’re alright.” He had no idea if she was alright as he leaned down and kissed her cheek. Something had triggered her Jotun genes it seemed and he couldn’t help but wonder if it was the pregnancy. “Come, let’s sit.”

He took her to his bed and Loki sat down, pulling Emily into his lap and she buried her face into the crook of his neck while she continued crying and shaking.

“Darling, you’re alright.” He whispered into her ear, while he held her tight against him. Emily didn’t react to that and continued sobbing.

Loki simply held her, stroking her upper arm as she clung to him for dear life. He worried that the change in her skin colour might scare so much it’d have some effect on her psyche. But no matter, he would be there for her every step of the way. She never minded his own blue skin and he was sure this reaction of hers was simply due to shock, aided by pregnancy hormones, since neither of them had expect something like this.

He continued whispering sweeting nothings into her ear, laying gentle kisses over her temple and shoulder every now and then. After a while, Emily finally calmed down and her sobs turned into soft sniffs.

“My love...” he spoke softly, nuzzling her temple and holding her in his arms.

Emily wrapped her arms around his neck, but kept her face nestled against him. “I’m okay...” She finally spoke, her voice trembling just as her body.

“You’re still shaking. Are you cold?”

“I don’t know.”

Loki cupped her cheek and lifted her face to look into her eyes. He wiped the tears off her cheeks and pressed his lips to hers, kissing her gently. “How about I put you into warm clothes, then? Maybe it would help ease the shaking.” He said after they parted, smiling at her.

Emily nodded and Loki turned to the side and pulled her clothes closer. He helped her to her feet and unwrapped the towel off her body. The blue of her skin had spread below her shoulder, taking one breast along and reaching her round stomach. Emily closed her eyes tightly upon seeing how far the colour had spread. She was still in shock and it seemed it was happening too fast.

Loki grabbed her underwear and knelt before her. He first held her by the hips and placed soft, gentle kisses over her stomach. “Hello there, little one.” He spoke against her stomach. “You’ve caused your mother quite the fright, but she will be fine.” He then looked up, only to find Emily opening her eyes and looking at him with awe. He smiled at her and kissed her stomach again, before he held her panties for her to slip her feet through them.

He took his time dressing her into her comfortable home clothing. Once feeling warm and snuggly, Emily’s shaking finally stopped. Loki then took her into his arms again and pulled the towel off her hair, after which he ran his hand through it, kissing her temple as he cast a spell to get her hair dry.

“How are you feeling, my love?” He asked, looking into her eyes.

“Warm, but still freaking out, even though I know I shouldn’t.” She sighed, leaning her forehead against his chest.

“It’s alright, it was a shock. We had no idea this would happen.” He gently stroked her hair. “Do you think you’d be able to eat a bit? I know you’re still feeling distressed, but you haven’t eaten for the past hour.”

“We’ve been here that long?”

“Indeed.” He chuckled. “I only worry that you might not have eaten at work before coming home.”

“Weeeeell...” She pressed herself against him, wrapping her arms around his waist. “Guilty as charged.” Her face was still hidden against his chest, but he could feel the smile forming on her lips. “Last meal I had was in the afternoon. Didn’t get the chance after.”

“Weeeeell...” He mimicked her with a chuckle. “We need to fix that, now don’t we?”

“That we do.” She finally raised her head to look at him. “I’m sorry I made you worry.”

“If I didn’t have my powers back, this would have given me a heart attack.” He grinned at her.

“Not the best way to go.” She wrinkled her nose.

“No, definitely not.” He grinned before he dipped his head and kissed her. “Shall we go eat, then?”

“Yes, please. I need some distraction from whatever is going on with me.”

Loki simply nodded and they went to finally have their dinner that had gotten cold in the mean time.

-*-*-*-*-*-

“Either Hugo is getting too old, or he’s slacking off lately.” Emily noted in the morning around breakfast.

“What do you mean?” Loki said, taking a bite of the croissant he had gotten them from the nearby bakery while walking Hugo.

“Last night, when I... you know... freaked out, he should have been at my side or something. He always comes to me.” She turned to look at Hugo, who was napping without a care in the world after his morning walk.

Loki looked at him as well, then turned to Emily and took her hand in his. “I’m going to assume he is smart enough to know when you need him to be at your side, love. You were scared last night, but I was there with you.”

Emily sighed, feeling a weight being lifted from her chest at Loki’s words. “You’re probably right. He is intuitive and you were there. He knew I was in good hands.” She smiled at him.

“I will always be there for you, darling.” He brought her hand to his lips and gently kissed her knuckles. Then he leaned closer and kissed her lips. “Always.”

“Likewise.” She replied, stroking his cheek with her other hand.

They continued on with their breakfast and when they were done, Loki helped her clean the table and he started washing the dishes. Emily grabbed her phone and called her work, telling them she won’t be able to come today.

Loki heard the conversation and when he was done with the dishes, he went to join her in the living room. “Darling, I heard you’re not going to work today?”

“I don’t think I can handle people asking questions when I haven’t completely processed it myself.” She sighed, looking down onto her lap. “I might be wrong by thinking like this. And I’m sorry if I’m offending you.” The thought had crossed her mind several times since dinner last night. What if her reaction to turning blue had hurt Loki’s feelings, since he was a Frost Giant underneath the porcelain skin he had on. She loved him in either of his forms, but she wasn’t sure how to feel about her own. Would she be able to conceal it like he did? What if she couldn’t and she had to live forever with blue as her skin colour? Humans were already quite racist towards people who had a different skin colour than their own, be it white, brown or black. What would happen if you added blue to that list? Would she be hunted down like it happened in movies? Would she have the courage to stand up for herself against anyone who dared to make a degrading comment?

But what of their child? What would be awaiting them if he or she were born in a skin not similar to those that were most common? She knew she would love her baby no matter what. So would Loki. They both already did and it hadn’t even been born yet. People within the tower were used to things being different than the norm. But what of the people outside the tower? Would their child be able to go to school like all others? Like Morgan? Would they be bullied because of the colour of their skin? 

Emily didn’t know when she had started crying. Her thoughts were only interrupted when she felt Loki’s arms around her, pulling her towards his chest.

“My love, where were you just now?” He asked, gently running circles over her back.

“I’m worried, Loki.” She mumbled, tightly clinging to him.

“Talk to me, dearest. Tell me what you’re worried about.” He had an idea what it could be, but he wanted to hear her say it.

And that she did. Emily told him about her worries. Apologizing after every few words, fearing she was offending him by voicing her thoughts. Loki simply held her in his arms and listened to everything she had to say. He could very well understand her fear. He had similar concerns. While in the beginning he only had one person to worry about when it came to skin colour, now there was Emily as well. But he knew he had the means to help them both. 

“First of all,” he pulled back just slightly so he could look at her, “you should really stop apologizing, my love. You are not offending me with any of your concerns.” He smiled, his eyes shining with the love he felt for her. “Secondly, your concerns are valid. I have been having similar thoughts as of late. Thirdly, I think I might be able to help.”

“How?”

“You do forget that I am a capable sorcerer, dear.” He grinned. “Though living here had made me not rely on my seiðr for doing most things, but I am still one of the most powerful mages in the Nine Realms.”

He could see the gears shifting inside Emily’s head as she processed what he was saying. When it finally clicked, her entire demeanour changed and she smiled brightly at him. “It didn’t even cross my mind.”

“Which is one of the things I adore about you. Anyone else would have had me use magic by now. But you,” he held her face in both hands, “you love me for me. For who I am. And I love you so much for it.”

“Your magic is a skill that you have. Just like me being a nurse. Sure, our skills define some of our characteristics, but they’re only a small part of us. There’s more to you than magic, Loki. I’ve known you without it. I loved you then and I loved you after. I will love you no matter.”

“I will love you no matter, as well.” He kissed her tenderly, taking his time in exploring her mouth, savouring her taste as if it was their first time. Emily felt her heart melt into a puddle of goo. Her legs felt weak and a delicious warmth spread through her whole being.

Without saying any words, Loki picked her up and carried her to the bedroom, kicking the door closed behind them as he gently lay her down on the bed and climbed on top, claiming her lips once more. 

They made love that day. Slow and sensual. They worshipped each other’s bodies like one would worship a deity inside a temple. Hands and lips were everywhere. Sighs and moans filled the otherwise silent room. Bedsheets tangled around and over them, while their bodies moved against and with each other, until the sweet release of orgasm washed over them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo Baby Frosty is making mama show her Frosty side it seems. If pregnancy hormones did not play a role here, Emily's reaction would have been different.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [All you need is a cup of tea with Loki](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26282098) by [pistashanut](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pistashanut/pseuds/pistashanut)




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